Tiffani Thiessen’s Harper Helper? Grandma!

09/27/2010 at 04:00 PM ET

Johnny Nunez/WireImage

Between a hectic shooting schedule and a new baby, it’s hard to find the right balance but new mom Tiffani Thiessen knows what’s most important: her daughter Harper Renn.

“My priority is her and it’s always her,” she told PEOPLE Saturday at the Juno Baby event in New York City.

Her secret to being able to do it all? A little help from her own mom, Robyn.

“She’s living with us here in New York,” Thiessen, 36, said. “I wouldn’t be able to do it without her.”

How’s the family adjusting to life in the Big Apple? Baby Harper gives Manhattan a thumbs up.

“She loves the park, she loves the Hudson, she loves it all,” said the White Collar star. “She just likes the activity. I think she likes the movement.”

And it seems like she likes the movement so much, she’s started moving herself.

“She’s flipping over and she’s scooting already which is freaking me out,” said Thiessen. “I feel like I just had her yesterday and now she’s 3½-months-old! I can’t believe I can love someone so little so much.”

— Mussarat Bata

FILED UNDER: Babies , Exclusive , News , Parenting

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gail on

What’s with this generation…my generation. It’s like no one can raise their own kids. Grandma is there to help fill in the blanks but when women make their moms move in…annoying. I know a woman who had her own life and now raises her grandchildren because her daughter is a diva. The poor lady is old and tired! I know a lot of people are going to disagree, but I am speaking the truth. You have kids, raise your kids. Grandma can help when you need it, not 24-7

Renee on

her mother is helping her while shes in NY for a couple months filming her tv show. When she gets back home to California in the next couple of weeks her mom won’t be living with them. I think its great to have your mom help instead of hiring a nanny. In this case she didn’t have a choice since she was going back to work so soon after having the baby. so please get your facts straight. and Tiffani and her husband are very hands on! Harper comes to the set with her. Anyway Harper is beautiful! you can see how happy Tiffani is to be a mom. :)

Julie on

I agree. I have 4 kids 8,3 and 2 month old twins. My husband and I do it ourselves with occasional help from grandma and grandpa. Hey we need a date night once in a while.

Anonymous on

Gail,
I agree. It’s so pathetic when grandma does more than mom so much so that the kids look to grandma when they should be looking to mom. Not sure that’s the case with Tiffani Thiesen but in general, it’s a bad habit to get into. And grandma’s should get to be grandma… they were already mom!

Connie on

I did not have any help with any of my 3 boys. I came home from the hospital and did it all. My husband went back to work right away, no one came to help. I had a neighbor whom had 2 kids and her mom came from out of state and stayed a month or two to help her. It was wonderful for her. I would help my kids if they needed it. It has to be a joy for the Grandmother too. I hope to be one someday soon. I think Tiffani and her family are adorable.

Abbe on

Gail you have some real issues. In many cultures it’s the norm for the mother’s mother to move in and help out. “It takes a village to raise a child”. Some mothers are all alone, so Tiffani is lucky and I’m sure her mother is loving every moment.

Kim on

She is doing what works for her and her family so get over yourself. Jealous much? You must be unhappy.

Ivonne on

Actually, Gail, children have often been raised community style throughout history. Mind you, a lot more women are working mothers than were in the past, so they depend on child care to balance it all. Many parents trust their parents to watch their kids rather than a stranger, especially if they had good parents. I sincerely doubt Tiffani is holding her mother hostage for baby-sitting but rather her mother thoroughly enjoys caring for her grandchild.

My own grandmother sits for my children a lot and wouldn’t have it any other way. She tried to keep me from putting them in day care, volunteering to watch them herself instead. I did eventually put them in daycare but when a baby is very small, it’s more comfortable to have them with someone who loves them as much as you do. Your friend is an exception, and not a good one. She is not an example of all working mothers out there. Not all of us want to take advantage, and not all of our parents are afraid of us.

Kidnurse on

Did you ever think that her mom volunteered to do this? Why does everyone always think there is another agenda? Some Grandmothers can’t get enough of their grandchildren. Leave it be. If they like the arrangement, then who are we to judge?

Margaret on

So many judgemental comments here! In most cultures around the world, the new mom is herself taken care of and ‘babied’ for one month (at least) before taking on more responsibilities. Also, grandma and other relatives are more than welcome to help out with the children. Many people always live with their extended family and it is not considered a sign of weakness to have help. It is really only a modern western phenomenon where women have very little help from their families. Most women I know who have little support from family/friends are struggling with post-partum depression and extreme fatigue. I say Hooray for grandma’s and others who help new moms!!

Rosemary on

My husband and I have been living “Away” from the family since we married 17 years ago. When we had our first my mom came and helped the first week, my husband had to go back to work. when we had our second my mom came to watch the first and then left after a week. We did the rest on our own with both of working full time. Both our parents live 5 hours away. Its just us we deal with it..Even with of us working full time. I don’t see a problem with Grandma helping but to move in is out of the question. Stars are lucky they can afford someone to come and take care of their kids…. I wish I had the money to get the help sometimes. I miss date night.

Rita on

I think it is wonderful, I take care of my step sons baby boy, have since he was 4 weeks old. He and his wife work and really don’t have anything so it is a chance for them to get ahead. It has made me get up and move more. My parents did it for all of theit kids and they had nine of us so there were times when I really don’t know how they did it.

bevvie on

New parents, especially working parents, need all the help that they can get. Bring in grandma, nannies, and all the good help that they can get.

Catherine on

But back to that baby… love her inquisitive look, creamy white skin and beautiful blue eyes! What a looker!

Angel on

Wow. How do you guys that are ragging on Tiffani for having her mom help her out expect her to do it? Her job is not the usual 9-5 in which she can drop the kid off at daycare like most of you probably do. Therefore, she has the most capable person besides herself and her husband to help her out. Kudos to Tiffani for allowing her mom to make these early memories with her grandchild instead of grabbing a nanny or two like most celeb moms.

bevvie on

And you do not have to be a celebrity to have grandma and/or grandpa move in to help. I am on my way to stay with my new grandkids to help out as long as they need me.

Sara on

My Mom birthed and raised sixteen kids. My Dad is a farmer so he was busy out in the fields. When the Grandkids started coming, she opted not to babysit them. Which I can totally understand. So Gayle I think the person you are referring to made her own decision to watch the grandchildren. Any person in their right mind has that freedom. It’s too bad her daughter is a diva, but the grandmother has the choice to stay or move out. It’s my guess, she made the choice to stay and nobody forced her to do that. I think it’s great when grandparents can help out. You never know what a stranger might do to your children. But I also respect my Mom’s decision for not wanting to watch the grandchildren.

Meredith on

I agree about that baby…what a cutie! If I remember correctly, I am almost positive she is the spitting image of her dad…too cute!

Erin on

Gail and anonymous are ignorant of history. Parents (let’s be honest, moms mostly) have ALWAYS had/used help. The “nuclear” family, with mom at home, is a recent construct. I’d go more in depth on the topic, but I have a feeling these two ladies aren’t the type to absorb logic.

Camille on

I am not agreeing/disagreeing with Gail but I can see where the train of thought may be headed. Celebs have a different and sometimes distorted perceptive on realities of life. Many have nannies, assistants and do not have to encounter the day to day things that we do. Its wonderful for anyone to have the opportunity to have family members to help them, and take part in the joys of raising children. Sometimes celebs use the art of child rearing as an accessory, like a handbag or great piece of jewelry and are not 100% hands on in the process. Many of them though take time out from their careers to raise children, like many of us who decide to be stay at home moms until we feel the time is right. We only know whats printed in papers, and magazines, which can slant things. I am sure that if taking away the excess of money, assistants, and luxuries that come from being a celebrity were taken away – they would have to adjust to doing it alone. Not sure just how many of them would be as great as all of us who do it 24-7, 365 no mater what. :o)

Lola on

Gail, not all women want to be stay-at-home moms. I think it’s wonderful that Tiffani is doing it all – even if it’s not totally by herself. If you have people around you who are willing to help, and who want to help, then that’s beautiful. Plus, did you ever think her mom WANTED to move in?? I think that’s every mother’s dream! To be able to see help your daughter and watch your granddaughter grow up must be amazing. I think the best moms are those who have supportive families. Sorry that you obviously never experienced that, Gail.

maria on

I agree with Ivonne 100%. There is nothing wrong with grandparents’ helping out. In fact, spreaking from my own experience, the more love, the better for the child growing up. What is better for an infant than to be surrounded with love from extended family? I feel sorry for the people who think they must carry the enormous responsibilities of parenting alone.

Renee on

but if you are going to work and need someone to help take care of the baby (you can’t take them to work with you) why is it better to take them to day care than have their own grandmother who loves them take care of them? my mom always had my grandma babysit for my sister and I when needed. We loved it! I’ve worked at a day care. Those kids were not that happy. They would always ask me when’s my mom coming back? I want to go home. just thought I’d throw that out there. lol people are so nasty on this site! why bother posting if you just have something nasty to say?

Mel on

It is better for grandma to help out than a nanny don’t ya think? I highly doubt she is twisting her arm and forcing her mother to help with her granddaughter. I work three 12 hour nights so my mom takes care of my daughter those three nights and she would not have it any other way. I guess I should of hired a stranger to come stay with my daughter while I work my butt off as a nurse. People are so quick to judge everyone else’s situation by reading one comment. Also why should grandma pay for her own place when it could only be a temporary situation? Very cute baby and I hope she does not let the negative comments cause her to rethink her decision to continue working in a profession she loves.

Sherri on

I just have to add my two cents – i did alot of work with emergency physicians – educating them about documentation requirements for the federal government – and what i heard from them was this – that since grandpaprents are so far away from new babies – that is why babies are in the ER so frequently for smaller issues than the parents realize. That if grandparents were AROUND for the parents there would be less hysteria and more education from previous experience about how to deal with newborn – toddler – and childhood issues……..

New moms and dads panic….. which is GOOD vs the alternative – but it definitely is not necessary – and if grandparents were around – or maybe just listened to – alot of the emergency department vists that expose your little god sent angels – to other infections wouldn’t happen and your child would be fine……..without the drama and isnt’ that really what we want????

MomA on

I think it’s great that Tiffani’s mom helps her. I wish my mom was still alive, she never got to see her grandkids (six between me and my sister) let alone help. My dad remarried and he and his new wife don’t seem to have a lot of time for family (kills me because I know if my mom was still alive it would be different). Best wishes to Tiffani and her family, what a darling baby!

Wow on

There is nothing wrong with Grandma and Grandpa helping out if they want to. My mom watches my two young nephews! She wouldn’t have it any other way. She gets to be Grandma every day while Mommy and Daddy provide a good life for those babies.

S Miller on

I for one am a grandmother that is helping to raise my two grandchildren with my daughter and her husband who both are in the U.S. Army. They have deployments that last a year or more at a time and there is no way in hell I would want these two girls to be pawned off onto whoever could take care of them for those lengths of time. I have been with them from day one and they know I am here for them no matter what.

We have our relationship that works for our family and I dare anyone to have negative things to say about it. We know at the end of the day these girls are happy, safe and healthy and that is what matters the most. Yes I have to perform parental duties more so than my daughter and her husband do most of the time but it is my honor and privilage to make sure they are taken care of. My daughter doesn’t ever have to worry for a second that her daughters are being neglected or mistreated in any way. I treat them as I treated my own 3 kids and while no situation is perfect, including this one, the kids get the best of everything.

Meanwhile my second daughter has one son and lives in another state and is very jealous of our situation and brags that she at least takes care of her son by herself with no help. Well bully for her! I’m glad she can be home with her child all day and not have to work outside the home but my oldest has to work along side her husband to keep a roof over her children’s heads. Yes…sometimes it does take a village to raise a child, maybe if more families helped this way there would be no more child molestation or abuse cases that happen on a daily basis.

A on

In some other cultures it is normal for multiple generations to live together. The grandparents take care of the kids while the kids’ parents work to support everyone. Tiffany is showing how much she appreciate’s her mom’s help and that’s great.

Heather on

Who says that her mom does it all! How do you know that she doesn’t just basically have her babysit while she works and then when she gets home she does the rest. People are ridiculous!!! My mom and I have always said when I finally have children she would be the one to watch them while I work. It’s so much better than a stranger. People are so judgmental about things they know nothing about!

Sus on

Would you rather have celebrity’s use a nanny or a grandma? How on Earth do you expect them to do the tv shows, movies, magazine photo shoots that we all enjoy without a little help? I think that this shows the closeness between Tiffani and her mom, and hopefully that closeness will carry on between Tiffani and her daughter.

Jen DC on

Gosh that baby’s adorable! Look at her big eyes!

Wow. How do we know that Tiffani Thiessen is a diva? Perhaps Grandma Robyn asked to come, wanting to have that quality time with what is perhaps her first grandchild…

Yeah, in many cultures other than the one with which we’re familiar, extended families stay together for much longer than we consider “normal” and grandparents often care for grandchildren or great grandchildren. It’s called a multigenerational family. In my neighborhood, we have large Salvadoran and Eritrean communities and I often see grandmothers and grandchildren taking care of the shopping, light housekeeping and baby-, toddler- and pre-school child care. And the kids LOVE it. The only way confusion is introduced into the equation about whom the parent is is if there is no understanding between the parents and grandparents, which can usually be solved with a conversation or two.

You don’t have to raise your children in a nuclear family. I just got back from Hawai’i “helping” a friend with her son and stayed with them from the time he was 6 months old until he was a year (just a few months ago). I loved that baby as much as I loved his mother and she felt comforted that I was there – someone with whom she’d lived, someone who shared her values and found the same things interesting/funny – instead of some stranger or putting him into very expensive daycare. Baby was never confused about whom his parents were: When they came home he lunged for them as if he hadn’t seen them in days! That’s not to say that he didn’t “ask” for me from time to time when they were there, but mostly he wanted them first, me second.

Polly on

It doesn’t sound like this baby’s grandma was coerced or threatened into moving in or taking care of her grand-daughter. Even good moms and dad work. Good moms and dads find a safe place for their child while they work. That’s all that is happening here. Many cultures still live in multi-generational family homes, and those who can work outside the home do, while others stay home and care for the children and keep house. That’s sort of how a family works — regardless of which members are there to do it.

yinyang on

It used to be that a village of women would raise the children. How can a child get into trouble with all those women looking after him/her? How can a child fail to thrive with all those women looking after him/her? We’ve lost something along the way to becoming modern. We’ve lost the community. If I could not be with my baby for whatever reason, I would want the women in my life to help love, nuture and support my baby. Such a precious gift are children.

Taylor on

Who are any of you to judge Tiffani, calling her a diva because her mother helps to take care of her daughter? Get over yourselves.

None of you know anything about this family so you look stupid making assumptions about something you have no clue about. Some of you act as if she put a gun to her mother’s head and forced her to watch her child.

Just because she works does not mean she’s not raising her daughter. Being a stay at home mother is not for everyone and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Each family needs to do what’s best for their own situation.

Charlotte on

I am very sorry Gail that you don’t have a supportive family. I simply wonder who you think raises children? Having childcare when one works does not mean you aren’t raising your children.

I am a grandmother and I am also not old- I imagine that Tiffan’s mother resents some ninny calling her old.

I am sure with Tiffani’s occupation and work hours hiring a nanny would have been mandatory. So glad that her mom made that unnecassry.

And Sara wonder hwere you get the idea that this lady is a ‘diva’.

Rachael on

Gail, your thoughts don’t make any sense. When I was born, my mum had my grandmother stay with us for about a month before and after. It helped her tremendously. As a daycare teacher, I know that taking care of multiple young kids at the same time is tough, so it’s great when some help comes along. When I have kids, I have every intention of asking my mum to help in their first month or so of life, and I know that she would say yes at a moment’s notice. There’s nothing wrong with a grandmother helping her son/daughter raise their child, especially if their son/daughter is a first-time parent and needs the help for a couple of months.

Amy on

Wow Gail, have you ever raised a child? Not as easy as you seem to think it is. My mom loves helping out with my son. We don’t force her to do it, she just wants to. If grandparents don’t want to watch their grandchildren, don’t do it. Maybe the woman you know needs to learn to say no and not allow herself to be taken advantage of by her daughter.

Mom of 1 on

it must be nice to get help from mom – not an option for me – my mom could care less!! no big deal, she misses out on quality time with her grand-daughter!! whateva!!

Beth on

Wow Renee,
Way to make those of us who have to send our kids to day care feel like our children are unhappy and not safe. You better think before you write.

Reggie on

It is wonderful that Tiffany’s mother can help her at this time. I was fortunate to have my Grandma help me when I had each of my children. She was a blessing and my children grew up knowing their Great-Grandma and to this day they recall so many wonderful things about her. My Mom would have helped but was unable to due to her health. Thank God for Grandparents and Great Grandparents.

TC on

It would be great to have Grandma around to help me with my kids. We have 4 kids, ages 11, 9, 6 and 1….and my husband and I do it ourselves. Kudos to her to have the ability to keep the grandparents involved in the baby’s life. My parents live too far. However, I would love to have a date night with my husband…it’s been a few years…any Grandma available to watch my kiddies for a few hours…lol. Best of luck to Tiffani and her beautiful family!!!

Lori A on

Harper is a Stunning baby and looks just like her Dad! Love Tiffani and I bet she is a GREAT Mommy!

Sarah S. on

I agree with A’s comments above. In my neighborhood, I see lots of Asian grandparents walking their grandbabies in their stollers to the park. It’s obvious they are staying home with them while the baby’s parents support everyone in the household. In my husband’s culture (Persian), esp. grandmothers and aunts help out A LOT in the first year. We didn’t have that because my husband’s parents passed away a long time ago. My mother NEVER helped me because she’s selfish, but my Dad helped a little when my 2 children were very young. Maybe Tiffani prefers her Mom helping because she trusts her judgement as a seasoned mother, loves her and wants Harper to really know Grandma! What could be better than that?

Jessi on

How is this not a win/win/win all around? Tiffani can go back to work doing something she loves while knowing her daughter is safe and being cared for by someone she trusts. Grandma gets precious time with her new granddaughter and potentially will grow closer with Tiffani now that they share the experience of motherhood. And Harper gets to bond with the person who likely loves her more than anyone in the world (except Mom and Dad). Seems like a no-brainer solution. How any part of this situation is negative is beyond me.

michelle on

i agree with gail, but theirs pros and cons of what u say. the mother of the woman that had the baby might want to come and live with her daughter and grandbaby, she wants to see the grandchild grow up and experience her firsts. but then theres some women that like gail said is using their mother for babysitting and making her do everything. which i don’t think is right.

bep on

What better person to take care of her child? My Dad has been a godsend for us. My husband is away alot working and I work full time. My grandfather on my Dad’s side died when my Dad was 17 and my other Grandfather wasn’t exactly hands on.

I am so blessed that my Dad has an amazing relationship with my daughter. That is priceless and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I think Tiffani is smart to have her Mom help out with the baby. She couldn’t be in better hands. I say good for her!

veronica on

I would have loved if my mom was involvrd with my kids, sadly only certain grandkids rated that attention. love that tiffanys mom loves her so.

Alice on

I loved being with my grandparents when I was little, and so did they, we just enjoyed spending time together! Why does it have to be about someone using someone else or “not raising their kids”… spending time with family is lovely, that’s all there is to it.

Crystal on

@Gail-I disagree with your post. When I was born my grandmother and great grandmother came to help my mom. It’s like a rite of passage in our family. Not only did it help my mother adjust to being a new mother it was nice to have her mother here to help her. I see nothing wrong with that. Tiffani is a new mother and I’m sure she loves having her mom around to help with things. It makes things so much easier. Why struggle when you don’t have to. That’s what family is for.

L on

I can see Gail’s point a bit in certain situations. It is great to have friends and relatives help you out when you have a baby. BUT, it was your choice to have children, so you must be the first one to make sacrifices to take care of our children. My sister, who is very wealthy, frequently pawned her very small children off on my elderly parents while she vacationed with her husband. My parents loved spending time with their grandchildren, but were EXHAUSTED after a few days as they are not retired and work long hours. My sister wanted me to watch her teenager for 8 days while she and her husband went on vacation this fall. This means driving my niece to/from school and to various sporting events/practices six days a week. I am single and work 3 jobs, so I offered to help out for six of the eight days. My sister was FURIOUS and told me not to bother helping at all. MORAL OF THE STORY, you have a right to ask someone to help you watch your children. But you must realize they also have the right to decline.

zappo on

I am sorry for those of you who are so angry that Tiffany has the support of her mom. Why so much hatred? Ok, some of you were on your own. Ok. You don’t deserve any kind of medal of valor, nor does she deserve criticism because her mom can and wants to help and because she accepts the help. It’s become a bitter bunch of bitches on here lately. Moms are all moms in whatever form, and as all women we should be nicer instead of nastier

Katrinka on

Tiffani & her family reside full time in Los Angeles. They are in New York to accommodate her “White Collar” filming schedule. I took the article to mean that her mother is living with them while they’re on location, not that she’s moved in with them on a fulltime basis. Not that there is anything wrong with that at all! A lot of celebrities don’t seem to mind having nannies, etc. and I think being able to have Grandma around is wonderful for everyone in the family.

FYI, PEOPLE has written about Harper’s beautiful nursery & PEOPLE Pets had an article about their three furry family members.

Catey on

I work four days a week. My mum takes my two youngest two days a week (one is in kindergarden for one of the days) and my husband’s dad takes them one day a week. The other day they are in child care.

I LOVE that both sets of grandparents have such a bond with my children. Growing up, my grandparents lived far away and I didn’t have much of a relationship with them.

And I don’t force either set of grandparents to do it – both jumped at the chance when I said I was heading back to work. My mum (who is semi-retired) loves her Wednesdays with the kids when they all walk to the local toy library. My father-in-law loves taking the kids to the park and then to his bowls club where he shows them off to all of his buddies and teaches them how to play.

It would be possible for me to work less financially, but I enjoy the socialisation that my youngest gets from childcare one day a week and I can’t imagine taking that time away from the grandparents. Even when I am on holidays from work, my father in law still likes to spend the day with the kids.

You can do it on your own, but it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with having help from your family. I was not too proud to ask for help and have a brilliant and supportive family. While you may not agree with what we do, OUR set up is the best outcome for OUR family. And I am sure Tiffani’s is the best for her family.

connie on

OMG.. I totally agree with everyone. why are they on tiffany back. i am a single parent and i went back to work 2 weeks after having my daughter and c-section at that!! And i am totally glad i had my mom there to take care of my daughter cause i new she was loved and cared for. My daughter i now a happy healthy and very funny and loving 6 year old. who has learned to be loving and carrying to everyone she meets and she got all that from my mom!! if i didn’t have my mom i would not be working and would have been on welfare. Now that my daughter is in school i work part time so that i can drop her off and pick her up from school and now my mom only has to take care of her on my daughters early days and she loves and has made a point to tell me that if anything happens to her there is only 3 people she would trust with my daughter with and nobody else!!! leave tiffany alone everyone is right if we went back to the days where the family helped to raise the children the rate of rapist would not be so high!!!

Heather on

-Wow, a lot of strong opinions on parenting. I think it is great that Grandma moved to NY while Tiffany is filming. My mom lives four hours away and with 3 kids under six, I’d love the help! Harper is just beautiful. I think she looks exactly like her gorgeous mama.

Anonymous on

Gee. Nobody can win. If you train the older children to watch the younger ones, you get chewed by everyone. If you let a WILLING family member watch them, you get chewed again. SHUT UP.

LR on

I would love to have my mother to assist in the child rearing, I bet she would of loved being a grandmother. Unfortunately my mother is dead so I will never have that experience. For all those folks belittling Tiffani and her mother, get off your high horse and count your blessings. Anyone fortunate enough to have a loving mother who wants to help out with grandchildren is richer than any celeb who hires nannies to do the job.

Mom on

All this talk of other cultures or families in ancient history and how they handle child rearing seems to be ironic….Tiffani Thiessen is not from some foreign culture living in tribes. She is an American living in the 21st century. Let’s get serious people. I think what Gail is trying to say is simply this… Many parents have changed so much from the 50’s and 60’s when the mother had a baby and stayed home. I say, great women are in the work force, but along with this change has come this self-righteousness that has turned from date night to an every weekend break from being a parent. Often times the parenting responsibility falls upon a grandparent. I think it is great that, as a celebrity, Thiessen’s mom is willing to help out, but for how long? Grandparents should be grandparents who are fun and come by with presents, not the disciplinarian rearing the child on a day to day basis. For all the haters…ask yourself how often you are using your parents or in-laws instead of paying for a sitter or staying home and missing out on date night. Or how many of you are working but using your parents as free day care because your income would not pay for a day care system, but you choose not to stay home with your child. You are all acting like Gail said Thiessen was an abusive mother, relax!

BusyMama on

If you do any research into child rearing, historically elders play huge parts in raising the children and it makes sense. I’m not advocating the people that choose to party with friends while the grandparents raise children, and I do believe that there are far too many grandparents living off limited incomes and raising children. But historically, women and men would be working on the farms, hunting, making clothes etc while the elders helped to tend to the children. And if you read ANY information on Tiffani Theisen, she’s a strong person who undoubtedly is doing most of it herself. Why hire a Nanny who you can’t guarantee will be good for your child when you have someone you love, and who loves the baby help out?

I don’t have anyone near me to help me with our son while my husband is at work. And I do everything myself, including making homemade everything, clothes, gardening etc. And its damn hard work. Good for her to have some help.

Sarah on

Harper is an adorable baby! And there is not a darn thing wrong with having Grandma around to help, that sounds like a blessing!

fuzibuni on

dear tiffani… if you’re reading this, don’t waste one moment being bothered by the first comment. it’s such a blessing that your mom is there for you and can help care for your new daughter.

this way they have a chance to bond and get to know one another, plus it gives you the assistance you need right now. It’s the cycle of life… one generation helping the next to get on their feet.

most people wish they had that too, but not everyone has been blessed with supportive parents. You’re lucky and so are your mom and daughter!

Kate on

What’s wrong with Grandma helping? The US is one of the few countries in which houses are not typically multi-generational.

opeila on

everyone needs to chill out and stop overanalyzing. and you probably wrote your negative thoughts and were NOT watching your own kids. i notice more stay at home moms are on the computer, phone, etc…spoiling their kids with objects versus love and attention. mind your own. good luck to their family!

Grandma on

I babysit my two grand kids full time. They still love me like their Grandma not as a babysitter. This has really been a good thing all around. It is helping my son through a tough time and making me have a productive day. As an empty-nester I would have spent every day sleeping in and getting nothing done. I now have a daily schedule and lots of love and frustration all rolled in to one.

Robin on

She is blessed to have her mother be so involved while she works. My mother passed while I was pregnant with my first. I would’ve loved for her to have five minutes with him, or any of my four children. I would never put somebody down for having their mother with them in the beginning months. Does anybody know the hectic schedule of an actor/actress? That wake up call comes mighty early, and to have somebody at home so the kid can stay in bed is awesome. Dragging a disrupted, cranky infant to the set isn’t really ideal now is it? She is very fortunate to have her mother (the next best thing) to look over Harper while she works.

jessicad on

I agree with the “it takes a village to raise a child”, children should be surrounded by family and friends and all should be included in raising them and there is no shame in that. Maybe if some of you had some help you wouldn’t be so miserable and rude.

sfmom on

Wow…so many extremes here…

It is true that historically, generations living together and pooling their resources was the norm (in almost all cultures). Personally, I wish families were more like that still, but I also appreciate the more American “rugged individualism” kind of culture. I don’t want to raise my kids the way my parents raised theirs…quite frankly, given the way my parents treat me, I don’t want them having really any influence on their grandkids.

BUT…how awesome is it that instead of a nanny, little Harper has her grandma to be there with her when Mom is away? Grandma, who most likely volunteered for the job and is doing it for free and loves her…I think that’s way better than a hired helper.

From a newer mom’s perspective (my kids are preschool and toddler age), my MIL, who is amazing and fantastic and I seriously hit the jackpot with her, can still be insufferable when she thinks I’m doing something wrong. I do feel harshly judged by her sometimes, but without question, if I ever need help around the house or a reliable, trustworthy babysitter for my kids, she’s the one we call. I don’t trust anyone else to watch the kids, in fact.

I love what a previous commenter said about having the wisdom of older generations around to temper the frantic parenting of this generation. I am relieved to have a MIL who can talk me down when I’m freaking out about various things…she’s been through it before and isn’t a total dummy. Sure, we do some things VERY differently, and I think we do have some information now that can enable us to make better decisions (if we utilize it!), but it’s good to not throw the baby out with the bathwater…there’s a lot to be learned from the older generations and I think this little girl is very blessed to have her Grandma there to fill in the blanks for Tiffani.

THAT SAID – I think it’s messed up the way some women today expect their mothers and MILs to just step up and play mom or nanny. My SIL does this to my MIL and it makes me furious. MIL practically raised my niece for the first 5 years of her life and still accidentally calls grandma “mom” because she just naturally looks to her in that role. My MIL has been exhausted reliving the nitty gritty trials of parenting and I hate seeing SIL take advantage of her like that…parents these days need to get a grip.

Don’t have kids if you’re not prepared to fully take responsibility for them. Don’t have kids expecting that you can just pass them off on someone else and run back to your normal kid-free lifestyle. A grandparent who willingly takes up the slack where needed is a blessing that shouldn’t be abused or taken for granted and at the end of the day, every parent (and especially moms) need to remember that it’s still THEIR KID and they’re the ones responsible for raising that child into a functioning, well-behaved, responsible adult.

Beth on

It takes a village to raise a child. I never understood why people don’t involve family in their lives. The more the merrier. And if you’re not close with family, then hired live-in help is an option. Personally, I wouldn’t have kids without live-in to help.

Anonymous on

Who cares? Who is watching your kids while you are all writing your rants?

Debbie on

Listen if done right Grandma and Grandpa can be a blessing. I know when I divorced, I moved closer to my parents for help, cause becoming a single working mom, I wanted all possible help raising my son. He is a well adjusted young man, plus he was able to do things with his grand parents to give him memories that he wouldn’t have had, like driving his sick granddad around when he got his license. It gave my son a lot of experience behind the wheel, my dad and him special time together and my dad the opportunity to “correct” his mistakes…(his words — not mine). Regardless all three generations were better off and everyone got things that enriched their lives. My son learned cars repairs, how things were when his grand parents were young, my folks, the chance to spend quality time, as well as quantity time with my son, and even I got help giving all I wanted to my son.

So if Tiffani has her Mother live with her to help out, don’t knock it. I’m sure that Grandma doesn’t think she is being taken advantage of, loving every minute she spends with her daughter and grand daughter and wouldn’t have it any other way. I know when my son becomes a parent I hope that I’m asked to help with whatever needs that come up = whether it’s baby sitting so someone can have a night out or moving in and being a parent to both my son and my grand child. To be honest, I’m truly looking forward to providing whatever help they need and I can give.

karyn southwell on

Rene-I so agree with you! I think its awesome to have her mom help her out and NOT a nanny! Nannys do all the work anyway and with Grandmothers they love having thier grandchildern around. Good for Tiffi-no nanny! My mom and dad had 4 kids and never had a nanny watching us all the time!

Debbie on

So Tiffani realized she needed help with her baby….to me she got the best person possible for the job. Only one other person could possibly do things better…and that’s Tiffani herself.

My job being a parent didn’t end when my son reached 18/finished school. It will continue for as long as I’m living, and when a grandchild is born into our family I hope that I can be there for the newest member of our family just like I was for my own son. I don’t feel that my son is trying to get out of his duties/responsibilities. My own Grandma was involved with the raising of my sister and myself. When my mother was gone, Grandma took over the day to day duties of our upbringing. Later on when Grandma got older and had health problems she moved in with my dad, sister and step mom and we help her until she passed away. I believe we all got something from it. I can make a quilt or can veggies and these are things I learned from Grandma. Not to mention that I have a better idea than the other grand kids on how grandma grew up, the hardships that she endured, the things she enjoyed. So don’t know having Grandma or Grandpa in the picture on a daily basis in your child(ren) life, neither the kids nor the grandparents loose out, and all three parties win.

Leah on

Gail, you sound bitter. In my culture there is a strong, particularly, matriarchal bonding that stays, in which the grandmother, mother, daughter lives together or are very close by and take care of each other. Because of this type of experience I am able to carry strong values, old traditions, and memories. I think it is honor for Tiffani’s mother to help. For all the mothers who say “I did it all by myself” Don’t you wish you had the availiblity for help? Don’t you wish your child didn’t have to have a single parenting experience? It really does take a village. And all though you raised your child by yourself, you can’t say you were the child’s father, grandmother, grandfather. Those positions you can NOT fill.

zumra on

I agree with Gail more and more mothers are taking less responsibilities for their children these days. If they do have mothers that are willing to help them they take maximum advantage of them. It is the grandmothers raising children more than mothers should be doing.

They should raise the children themselves where was mommy when you were doing it in the bedroom????

Little break from the kids is fine BUT having the grandmother raise your child is WRONG!!!!!!

meghan on

I have a very loving and involved mother. I was also blessed with grandparents who were so interested and involved in our lives that they chaperoned school field trips and did Boy Scouts among other things. They were so present that when they passed, several of my brothers friends attended their funerals. Teachers refered to them as Nan and Pop. They were not used by my mom to do her job for her. They believed that their job as parents didn’t end when their daughter grew up and moved out. Their job continued with her children. As long as you are respectful of your adult child’s parenting style and don’t discipline their child for them, I don’t see any problem with it. I think the presence of the grandparents can only enhance a child’s life. I cherish my time with my grandparents and I always will!

Emma on

What is with all the negativity? My grandmother watched me because both my parents had full time jobs to provide for me and I certianly know who my mother is. And my grandmother was willing to do it it was she who offered. My mother took perfect responsibilty for me so dont go knocking anything that you know nothing about. It was nice that my mom could leave me in the care of someone she trusted because you know not every parent can afford day care or nannies. So Gail i think you should think about what you said. My mother is still my mother and my grandmother was grandmother who helped when needed.

KayeT on

Is there some kind of perfect mother idea/martyr out there? Someone who single handedly raises her child with no help whatsoever, cooks every meal from scratch, never takes a day off, never uses a baby sitter, relative, or daycare? Raising kids is hard. Don’t make it harder. No wonder PPD is on the rise. My mother has told me that when I have kids she’s wants to move in to help. She was all alone and experienced such bad PPD that she was hospitalised. She wants to be there for me. Should I not accept that help on principle or something?

Barbara on

First and foremost…What we say and how we say it is really kinda DUMB! I think however they raise that baby girl of theirs is special. Wether her mom helps or his mom. They feel blessed just being able to have a child. Do all of you people understand the pain of not having any or losing them? Alot of woman go thru that a year. So please do all of us a favor you non seekers or jealous ones, Let the 2 of them enjoy this very precious moment of being parents. I have helped my sister…Our parents helped my sister and my brother…So I am TOTALLY for GRANDPARENTS helping out. Makes family strong!

Rebecca Jayne on

WOW. You guys have kids, right? Having someone watch your child for a few hours per day DOES NOT mean they are raising your child in place of you. I am a stay-at-home mom and I’m totally sad that none of my daughter’s grandparents live close enough to watch her regularly. It’s so wonderful when a child can have a close and strong bond with a grandparent. And for all you moms who did it completely by yourself: Of course you should be proud that you could handle it, but don’t you REMEMBER how hard it was? How can you shame another mom who happens to be fortunate enough to have her mother around to help her? Recognize that you are simply envious – then be happy for her!

Jenn on

Omg, she is a little Brady look alike! She has Tiffani’s eyes but the rest of her face is all Brady. She’s adorable!

shelly on

@S Miller, out of all the comments yours really stood out to me. My brother is in the service and I think it is AMAZING what you are doing while your daughter and son in law are fighting for their kids (and our) freedom.
Also as a 21 year old with only one grandparent left I wish I got to spend more time with my grandpas and my grandma. Even if Harper won’t remember it Tiffani will be able to tell her how close her and grandma were.

CelebBabyLover on

I think it’s great that Tiffani has her mom help her with the baby! :)

Angela on

How wonderful for her mom to be able to help out like that! I would love it, but that isn’t the life I have so no biggie.

My husband and I have 4 children. He is active duty in the Air Force and deployed 6 days after our fourth child was born via c-section. My Mom had to go back to work and left the day he deployed. That was all the help I had here in my home. But I do have wonderful friends that brought meals each night for my family for 13 nights~that was amazing!

This is the life we chose so what am I going to do..pout & stomp my feet & say horrible things about someone who is able to have family come and help? No, I am blessed with 4 healthly children and a wonderful husband…that’s all I need. ((Well–ok a brand new mini-van would be nice too…HAHAHA!))

Theresa on

Gail, I wholeheartedly agree. I’ve raised my six kids, yet the 3 that have children seem to believe it is my responsibility to take care of/practically raise theirs. I love my grandkids and of course am asked in front of the children, so I can’t say no. But I’m tired as well. Mentally and physically. We had our children young, worked day and night to raise them, this is our time. We’ve come to the conclusion we’ll have to put distance between the kids and us when my husband retires or we’ll never see any ‘our time’ in our lifetimes. At least as far as out of the school districts!

Angi on

It works for her family. That is all that matters.

jane on

look at all of you picking on Gail, she makes a great point. I think many of the bullies here are attacking her because they have had mommy help them out too and are a bit defensive. I have a baby, no help whatsoever from anyone, just me and my husband. Yes ladies- not all of us have perfect families and I doubt many of you do too. I can be just as smug because I know that I have been able to do it all myself. So don’t think you are better than others. You should be happy and grateful that you have a support system. I always find that it is those that have it are the ones that take it for granted and are so self righteous.

Also, please don’t portray like you know this celebrity personally. It is ridiculous. I congratulate any women that has a child w/out help. By the way, I don’t put my kid in daycare either. I don’t pawn him off on others just so I can have a job to make money to materialistic things and keep up w/ the Jones. Why have a baby if you aren’t even there in their early years? Living on one income is possible you just have cut back. Sorry my kid is more important than the lattes and Iphones. oh I forgot…most of you have grandma raising your kid.

svp on

I’m so envious of people who have their mothers nearby to help out. They are very lucky. My parents are on another continent, my husband’s family in another town so we have no family to help out nearby. It was tough enough after my son was born but we would like to have more children and I think it will be even tougher to raise them with no family nearby, especially immediately after the births. It most certainly takes a village. Beautiful baby girl!

mindy on

It’s lovely that some moms have “done it all” themselves, but clearly you did not go to work, at an outside paying job. Those of us who did, if we did not use a daycare provider, a nanny or a family member, would be arrested for leaving our babies alone. The majority of mothers do go to work, and that’s not a brand new concept. Our children are not “raised” by someone else, they know who their parents are and they are not with their caregivers 24/7. It doesn’t make you less of a mom for someone else to do some of the diapering and take your kid to the park, you’re still the one up in the middle of the night when they’re sick (well, here that was my husband), going to the parent teacher conference and helping them put together their Halloween costume.

Katarina on

I am from Bosnia-Herzegovina, and the tradition in my country and the surrounding countries is that a woman needs 40 days to recover from childbirth, and it is expected that a female member of her or her husband’s family comes to stay with the family for a while (her mother, mother-in-law, if they are too old, or if they passed away, then her sister, sister-in-law…) and help with the child and around the house.
Personally, I cannot thank my Mum enough for coming to stay with us and help out (not for the whole 40 days, of course). She gave us great advice on breastfeeding, showed us how to take care of the baby, she cooked, she cleaned, and I do not see a problem with that at all. I had episiotomy both times and I could not sit or stand for prolonged periods for days, let alone do any house chores. My husband was working. And I think there is no better babysitter than a member of immediate family, because it’s someone you can trust absolutely. I don’t think Tiffany’s mother will stay with them forever.

Melissa on

I have a lot of help from my mother with my 3 yr old and 14 month old. My mother had a lot of help from both sets of my grandparents when she had her kids. The best part about that is the special relationship that forms between grandparent and grandchild when they are always around. I am so lucky that I had such a close relationship with my grandparents and so many memories with them now that they are gone. And I wish the same for my children. And little Harper is lucky to have her grandmother around instead of a stranger (nanny) like most celebrities do with their kids.

denise on

I don’t get it. If a celebrity hires a nanny – it’s “wrong”. If a celebrity gets help from her Mum when she’s working – it’s “wrong” as well. If a Mum completely stopps working and stays at home – it’s “wrong”. What are Mums supposed to do? I wished my Mum would live so close by that she could babysit, too, maybe then I could go back to work. Tiffani is happy, Harper is happy that she has a close caretaker and everything’s fine. What’s the problem?

Nanax2 on

I am a very proud grandmother that raises two of my grandchildren. Their parents love them enough to realize that my home is the best thing for them at this time. I have no regrets. I love having them. I am aware that it will not be forever; I actually hate the thought of them leaving my home. So, in short; not all grandparents dread it, in fact they are the best thing in my life. They make my life complete.

Dana on

On another note—-Harper does not resemble Tiffani in the slightest, wow.

jessicad on

Kayet-you said it perfectly! When I first came home from the hospital I felt so much weight on my shoulders to do EVERYTHING, I was already exhausted from labor, a single parent, never got sleep, my daughter had colic and I ended up with PPD because I didn’t know how or felt guilty for asking for help. There is too much pressure on Moms to do it all, take as much help as you can get, especially in the beginning. Like I said, maybe if some of the women here would get help they wouldn’t be so rude. I always insist on helping friends with newborns because I know they won’t ask, even just a shower or a cooked meal makes a huge difference, I don’t expect them to do it all just because I did, I was miserable and would’ve loved help. Now I take the help my parents offer and enjoy time to myself every month, and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt about that! Plus when my daughter has her own children I plan on helping, she’s my child and she will always need my help or advice no matter how old she is:)

Heather on

I disagree with the people saying that grandmas shouldn’t live with their children. I have twins and when they were 18 months we moved into a home we built and MY grandmother actually moved in with us. She didn’t have a reasonably affordable place to live and we were moving farther away from her which made her very sad. We paid her every month just as we would have a daycare to stay home and babysit our kids. In the evenings we almost always have dinner as a family and after she retires to her room or if she wants to watch tv with us or just hang out, she does that. I raise my children but wouldn’t trade having “great grandma” live with us for anything in the world. My children never had to leave their home for day care and I am strongly of the belief that “it takes a village” to raise a child!

Shannon on

Most if not all first time mothers could use a little help. Who else better to help with the baby than grandma? It think it’s great and will be a special bonding time for everyone involved. Her mother wouldn’t do it if she didn’t want to. Get a grip!

Anyway *sigh* Harper looks just like her father. Sweet!

Manana on

Actually in the old days the grandmother would stay home with the children and do small chores around the shack while the adults and older children tended the fields. I think it’s nice that the child has her grandmother instead of daycare.

DWally on

Give the new mom a break. She said her first priority was her daughter. Her mom is probably glad to help out and at least she doesn’t have a nanny. Also, at least you see her with her child in photos unlike other celebrities.

t on

The judgment on this page is disgusting! She is back to work and very busy she had three options daycare, a nanny or the childs LOVING GRANDMOTHER. Idk about all of you but I would rather my child be in the arms of their grandmother than a stranger.

Cari on

I have a friend that has her mother reaising her two kids too. Then she goes on facebook and posts pics where she is with her kids at the park, once a year at most, her makeup and hair looks perfect, and she has on huge earrings and a big smile. I know shes not involved with her kids, shes at the gym for at least two hrs a day, and getting mani, pedis, tanning, spa, and shopping. She even goes to the park district pool alone with her husband, her kids are 5 yrs and 2 yrs old. She went on a 10 day trip to Mexico in April ago, and another 5 day trip to new york last week. Shes pretending to be the #mom on facebook, and everyone believes it, and not one picture of grandma on facebook, not a one, might give away her BIG secret. I think its great when gradma helps, but i don’t think she should replace the mom, and if grandma helps, give credit where its due, don;t lie and say you have no help and no sitters….i have a problem with that. We take our kids with us on three vacations a year, and we take them to the pool:) and i dont have to post FAKE pics on facebook. BRAVO to all the grandmas out there!

alicia davis on

I agree parents should raise their kids. I think it is ok to get ocasional help from grandparents. But, the older generation had to many kids to care for their own properly. I think it is the lazy way out to make kids raise themseleves. Get up off your butts!!!

Jilly on

I agree a new mom should have all the help she can get. The more the merrier. I thought I didn’t need or want any help when I had my baby, I wanted to do it all by myself. I now can admit I was very wrong! The first 2-3 months are all-consuming and to have someone there just to let you take a shower every other day would have been great.

Kristin on

Some people need to stop presuming they have the right to judge something they know absolutely nothing about. You do what works for your family, they’ll do what’s right for theirs.

I think the ‘I couldn’t do it without my mom’ comment wasn’t as literal as some people here are assuming. Seemed to me it was more of a way of saying thank you to her mom :)

Joscelyne Rita on

I feel so sorry for all you women who have a major problem with Tiffani allowing her mother to help out with the baby. Many of you as stated, did it by yourself, which is commendable but some mothers really don’t have that option. I myself was blessed with the best mother in the world and mother-in-law who can’t get enough of my children. They love being grandmothers and both truly enjoy watching my kids. Part of the reason they want to help us is because they never had help with their kids and it took a major toll on them and their marriage. They both ended up divorced and having to take care of their kids alone. They encourage us to make time for ourselves and as a couple for date night to strengthen the marriage. Neither one of them live with us, but at least twice a week (one day for each grandma) my daughter visits with them.

While they do not “raise” my children, they are a big part of my kids’ life and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I trust them and they love us so why wouldn’t they want to help? I am a stay-at-home mom (for now) and just yesterday, I had surgery. In fact, I have surgery again next Tuesday. I can barely walk and move around let alone pick up my toddler without popping a stitch. My husband is taking care of me and if I didn’t have my mom and mother-in-law, I wouldn’t be able to do it.

No one should be afraid to ask for help. Raising children is the most wonderful and fulfilling job on the planet but everyone needs help sometime and we should not judge another mother for doing what’s best for her family.

Mary on

When I was growing up, my father’s mother lived with us. Her being there allowed both my parents to go back to work and her watching us meant we didn’t have to go to daycare. It was wonderful being so close to her during the day.

Brookie on

Wow! It sure is easy to sit at your computer and judge everyone isn’t it? If she had said she was using a nanny, you all would have jumped her for that too! She is LUCKY to have her Mom close and able to help-back off of this woman! It is 2010 people- A LOT of moms go back to work after babies. Get over yourselves.

nelly on

@ zumra you are being unrealistic because everyone has different circumstances and im highly offended by your comments that children raised by grandmothers or grandparents is wrong ..I was raised by my grandmother and im thankful to her for that to this day..im not going to get into my personal life but my mom was a young mother got married young and got divorced young..my dad was a monster to her and she had to flee to the US .. leaving me in the care of the only one she trusted her mother my grandmother and she made me the woman that i am today they both did ..i love them both and appreciate them both for there sacrifices… some of you need to get of your high horse

Jessie on

If i was having my first baby, i wouldn’t know what to do either and I would also welcome help from my mom. cut tiffani some slack. i’m sure she stills does most of the work, but it’s comforting to have someone there to help. whne i have kids i wouldn’t mind my mom coming to stay with me for a few months too and i’m sure she wouldn’t mind either :)

loren on

I could not get rid of my mom when I had my children :-) She stayed for a month after I had both my children, and would come and get them. I am the grandmother now and would spend time with my granddaughter (first grandchild) after work and I visited a lot, any excuse to see her :-) It is good for children to interact with all the people that love them and it is good for them to have interaction with elders. As long as it is what all parties want, its fine. I don’t think Tiffani Thiessen’s Harper’s mom is suffering by living with her daughter for a while in NY. Same for Michelle Obama’s mom she is living with her daughter and “helping” her with the children in the White House :-)

E on

Wow there are some truly sanctimonious people on this thread. What do you want, a medal because you didnt have any help when you had children? Why should other people have to feel bad about it – particularly when the person helping them out is a grandparent. My own mum just loves spending time with her grandkids – you cant get her away from them.

Sarah K. on

I have to jump on the bandwagon here. I honestly thinks it’s sad that some of you don’t think grandparents and extended family should be involved in a child’s upbringing. No one here is suggesting that the grandparents do ALL of the work, but there is obvious value in having them involved.

Tiffani is a first-time mom who obviously has a devoted mother herself – she is very lucky. Both of my grandparents flew to a different country to help out my mom when my siblings and I were born. And, I know my mom will drop everything to help me out when I have a baby. It won’t be because I made her. It will be because she loves me, will love her grandchild, and will WANT to be there. There is no downside to your child being bonded to his/her family. They will carry that bond and those memories for the rest of their lives. It definitely takes a village to raise a child. This recent phenomenon of nuclear family is isolating and many times unnecessary. Why do it alone when you don’t have to? And, why hire someone to watch your child when there is someone who loves your child as much as you do and doesn’t want a penny for their time?

Anonymous on

I gotta agree with all those who say babies are still raised communally in lots of cultures. I’m Korean-American and there’s no way in hell a Korean grandma will be kept away from their daughters after they have their babies. Once a woman gives birth, they believe wholeheartedly that she should not be doing anything strenuous because her body is fragile until it readjusts. They don’t even let her eat crunchy things b/c it’s too much of a strain! The grandmas come to live with them so they can cook and clean, help their daughters figure out how to nurse the baby, and take care of the baby so their daughters can sneak in a couple hours of sleep and/or a shower. It’s been going on for centuries, man.

ecl on

“Mothers shouldn’t pawm their kids off on their grandparents?” – But of course fathers “pawn” their kids off on their wives all the time. Mothers are so attacked from all sides and mothering is so devalued in our culture, that women feel the need to defend their choices/situations by attacking those of other women. If you don’t want your grandmother involved, don’t have her involved. It does you no harm when other people choose different family styles. Are your kids the worse for it? I spent lots of time with my grandparents growing up and am now still very close with them. They are in their late 80’s, just moved down the street, and now I’m helping take care of them. These family values people often seem to have the worst family values of all – everyone on their own!!

Anonymous on

WOW! i guess those of you that do it all on your own are better moms than the rest of us. i don’t have a husband so i’m grateful to have my mom help out once in a while with my 3 kids.

tink1217 on

Has anyone considered that Tiffani has a contract to uphold with her work? Do you think she WANTS to be away from her small baby?? She is being professional and holding to her contract..besides that fact that she probably loves her job. It is nice when a mother CAN have a creative outlet. Why bash her?? I would much rather have a grandparent care for my child while I work. I am lucky I have been able to stay home most of my kids lives so far. But even when I worked…I had grandparents willingly offer. It’s better than a stranger/nanny/day care…I sympathize with people who have no alternative other than a nanny or day care. I am sure they would rather have a grandparent/aunt/uncle…etc…but due to circumstances they cannot. There is no crime in that…just as there is no crime in Tiffani having her mother there to care for Harper while she works.

Women need to stop bashing other women’s choices when it comes to raising children. If the family works and is happy with how its working…it’s nobody’s business.

Cristin on

Many moms go back to work. Tiffany is blessed to have her mom with her and I am sure her mom is overjoyed to be with them for a few months. In the past it was not uncommon to have grandparents live with the family. I think our generation would benefit from being more family oriented. No one benefits from a mom who claims she can do it all on her own. We moved 600 km to be closer to grandparents when we had our first child and it fills me with joy to see our kids get to grow up with family surrounding them.

If Tiffany was paying a nanny no one would bat an eye. Isn’t it better for her daughter to be with someone who loves her as much as her mama? There is a difference between someone who expects their mother to help raise their children and a grandmother who offers her help and sets boundaries.

denise on

my parents both grew up in one household with their grandmothers (both grandfathers died in WW2), so both my grandmothers had “live-in help” and no-one found it unusual. my grandmother moved in with my cousin after she gave birth because she had to get back to work (she’s a shopowner). my parents babysit every few weekends as did my granparents with me. when I was rather small my dad got sick and had to stay in hospital, so my grandparents moved in for a while and took care of me. what’s wrong with that? in a lot of familys it’s the traditional way and I agree that children benefit from spending time with their grandparents. but it’s always the same on this site, some celebs can’t do it right while others can’t do wrong. whatever katherine heigl does, is criticized, obviously it’s the same with tiffani thiessen? whatever jennifer garner or heidi klum do ist “perfect”. I prefer tiffani thiessen having her Mum help her with her daughter to all those people hiring a handful of nannys.

JMO on

Hold up! There is a huge difference between raising your grandkids and helping out with your grandkids! My brother and his girlfriend would never be able to do what they do w/out the help of myself and my mother! We are there for the kids to get them off the bus and take them to school cause mom and dad have to go to work! Sure they could hire a sitter but why when the kids are more comfortable with us!

That being said I pray to God the day I have a kid my mom is around full time. I will take any free extra hands as I can get. I’ve been a nanny for years so I know how straining it can be to raise kids and this isn’t even a 24/7 gig!!

If women would like the help and are not ashamed to admit it good for them. People need to have an outlet. There are many women who go through PPD and if they’re wasn’t a support system for them then who knows what would happen!

Lorus on

I don’t get it…why is it wrong to have help raising your children? Do you women really have to be “Super Moms” and say you do it all by yourself and if someone else doesn’t then they are less of a Mom? I’ve had an extremely high needs baby with little help from my husband. I would have given my left arm for some extra help from Grandma! There is nothing wrong with accepting help and your children aren’t going to suffer either!

MAR on

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH GRANDPARENTS HELPING OUT WITH CHILDREN OR EVEN AUNTS AND UNCLES. MY MOM HELPED MY SISTER WITH ALL THREE OF HER KIDS…WENT TO HER HOUSE STAYED WITH HER FOR A GOOD TWO WEEKS BEFORE AND AFTER HER DELIVERY. ITS VERY NORMAL IN MY CULTURE (ARMENIAN). THE WHOLE FAMILY HELPS OUTS. I’D RATHER MY KIDS BE WITH FAMILY THEN BE WITH SOME RANDOM STRANGER WHOSE ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY!

Jennifer on

jessicad,
I always agree with everything you say. You sound like a positively wonderful mother!

Emily on

She said her mom Helps out… She doesnt raise her! God My mother is a Godsend… she helps out occasionally… Just because she has the space to have her Mom live with her doesnt mean she is takin her Mom for granted. OMG why do I read these comments? Seriously, done reading them from now on. Tiffani your awesome! Your beautiful.

JM on

Why all the criticism? Everyone needs a little help sometimes and those of us that have family to help are blessed and lucky. Harper will be lucky to have a close relationship with her Grandma and vice versa. All those who put up negative comments must be bitter people who are jealous they don’t have family to help or are too proud to ask for it-shame on you!

Erica on

I’ll just say this–not every mother who works now does so for materialistic reasons. It is harder now more than ever in America to raise a family on a single income. Of course there are the extremes (ie the gym dwelling/mall rat mom who pawns her kids off on a reluctant grandma) but for the most part, I think it’s an ideal situation when children can be cared for by family rather than a babysitter/daycare. I don’t even have children yet but I’ve been blessed with a mom who has already said she would love to help watch my kid(s) if and when the time comes.

anonymous on

Why are comments on Celebrity Babies always so negative?? It always seems like there’s someone who likes to nitpick a story and dig for something to criticize. When I’m reading the stories, I don’t even see anything negative, and when they’re pointed out, I still don’t. Not to say that celebrity moms are the perfect role models, but nobody’s perfect. Tiffani Thiessen looks amazingly happy, and I’m sure she’s caring for her baby to the best of her abilities. In many cultures, it’s very much accepted for the grandma to move in and help. Many of us don’t have the luxury of even being close to our loved ones at all. So I would say Tiffani’s very blessed to be a working mom, AND have her mom around to not only help but cherish being with Harper.

Mary on

I am Taiwanese born, American raised and consider myself a multi-cultural, modern woman. I was raised by my grandparents, aunt and uncle because my father immigrated to the US and left my mom with 3 young children (ages 5, 3, and 1) on her own. Since my mom had to work, we all moved in with my uncle and aunt, their kids and my grandparents. It was a chaotic extended household, but I remembered it fondly – there was never a day of boredom and always lots of love. Our cousins were close in age so we all attended school and played together.

We joined my father in the US a few years later. My grandmother came and lived with us for over a year because both of my parents had to work full time and couldn’t afford childcare. My grandfather eventually moved over as well, and they lived with us in the US for 18 years! The best memories of my childhood included my grandparents, and I wouldn’t have traded that for anything else in the world.

I now live in the Netherlands and when I had my first child, my mother came and stayed with us for 3 months. I had no clue how to handle a newborn and couldn’t have done it without her. She had planned to come over again when I had my 2nd child, but changed her mind at the very last minute. I guess with my own upbringing I never thought she would have said no. Though I was hurt, I respected her decision. (my family back in Taiwan berated her for not helping!)

My kids now go to daycare 3 days a week. My husband and I both work 4 days and my in-laws live close enough to help out when we’re stuck at work, BUT only if their single parent daughter doesn’t need them first with her “special needs” son. Her demands will trump our needs no matter what.

Bottom line…though I’ve experienced almost all methods of childraising, I cannot judge what works for one and not for another. Unless it borders on abuse, let each family decide on how they want their kids to be cared for.

Amanda on

My parents both worked full-time. I was watched by a single baby-sitter most of my formative years when not in school or daycare. I wish my grandparents had been close enough to help out. If the grandma wants to help out, I see no problem with it. This little girl is blessed to be surrounded with so many people who love her!

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