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Celebrity Baby Blog

Mark McGrath’s Blog: Meet Me and My Twins!

09/22/2010 at 09:00 AM ET
Mark, Lydon and Hartley – Courtesy Carin Kingsland

PEOPLE Moms & Babies is happy to introduce our newest celebrity blogger — Mark McGrath!

The Sugar Ray frontman is proud papa to 4½-month-old twins Lydon Edward and Hartley Grace, his children with fiancée Carin Kingsland, as well as the new host of Don’t Forget the Lyrics!, airing weekdays on VH1 and in syndication.

In his first blog, McGrath, 42, introduces us to his family and fills us in on what he thinks of fatherhood so far.

Click below to read!

Hey, what’s up everybody?! I’m Mark McGrath; a first-time dad to 4½-month-old (already growing up so fast) twins Lydon Edward and Hartley Grace. On April 29th — the best day of my life — my world changed forever with the birth of our children. This has been such a surreal experience and I think I’m still in shock that I am a father … times two!

My fiancée Carin and I tried for about a year and half to have a baby and when the old conventional way didn’t work out (not without Herculean efforts!) we tried IVF and got pregnant on the first try — hence the twins. I find it strange that many high-profile couples are reluctant to say they used IVF, but to each their own I guess. For us, it was a blessing and nothing short of a miracle!

Since before the twins were born, Carin was always reading PEOPLE.com and showing me the baby site. She was very strategic with me in regards to expressing her enthusiasm for getting pregnant, so it’s an honor to be the first father to blog on here. Gotta say it’s kinda rad! I’ve never blogged before so bear with me if I ramble on too much. Can’t help it, I am a proud daddy and excited to share my experience with you guys.

Mark and Hartley hanging out at A Restaurant in Newport Beach, Calif. – Courtesy Carin Kingsland

A lot has happen in the past four months. I’ve always heard other parents say to enjoy every minute of it because it flies by so fast, but I had no idea that it would be this fast. I’m already missing the swaddling as I was becoming quite proficient at it. In fact, I would give those lovely nurses at Cedars-Sinai a run for their money!

We already had to lower Lydon’s crib down a notch since he is rolling over. (Being the handyman that I am, I was quite impressed with Carin when she figured out how to do it herself!) We would come in the room and there Lydon would be, peeking over the rails. It was so cute! Never knew I would use the word ‘cute’ so much … please don’t tell the band.

Hartley is a calm and happy baby — always smiling. She sleeps through anything, and melts my heart when she smiles from her soul. Lydon, on the other hand, is a bit more fussy. He needs to be constantly entertained. And if he doesn’t get what he wants he belts out these heavy metal screams (Adam Lambert, eat your heart out!).

Lydon chillin’ on dad’s chest – Courtesy Carin Kingsland

We had to let him cry it out the other night and poor Carin was crying too … in another room. As for me, I just put on my headphones and let little Ly learn one of life’s great lessons. I think the Stones said it best: ”You can’t always get, whatcha want…”

We are adjusting quite well and have figured out our nighttime rhythm. Carin does the night shift — did I mention she is an angel from above? — until about 5 a.m. and I do the morning shift while she gets to sleep in. This allows me to spend quality time with them. I can’t think of a better way to start my day then to the coos and laughter of twin babies with full diapers!

– Mark McGrath

A warm welcome to Mark! What questions do you have for him? What topics would you like to hear from him about in the future?

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Showing 182 comments

Lisa B on

I had a baby boy on May 3, so I’ve enjoyed knowing someone else who had babies at the same time! (we also needed reproductive assistance, and thank you to you and your wife for being so open about it, too) Love the blog post and looking forward to more. Glad you are enjoying this new life, and congrats to you and Carin!

Heather on

Great post Mark!! I will look forward to reading the dad’s perspective on new parenting. Your twins are adorable. I loved the line, “when she smiles from her soul.”

Lady on

Aww this is SO cute, im glad a daddy is going to be blogging now! It’s fun to hear a mans perspective on things…your twins are absolutely beautiful!! Welcome Mark & Congrats again to you & Carin!! Look forward to reading more blogs..

Jen on

Your babies are beautiful!! Thanks for sharing your story with us so far. Look forward to reading more from you! :) And tell your fiance’ congratulations as well. She certainly sounds like ‘an angel from above.’ ;)

mommyof2 on

Congrats on you babies and on being the first father blogger!! I think it is really going to be good hearing from the fathers perspective! Thank you for welcoming us into your world!! Cant wait to read more!!

Brookie on

Welcome Mark and Carin!! First, the twins are ADORABLE! I am going to love hearing about them and seeing their sweet pics. You guys seem like you are loving being parents- It is pretty awesome I must say! VERY hard work, but like they say, also the most rewarding. Something about a rocker who openly admits that his children melt his heart…very touching! Beautiful family!

Holly on

It’s so great to see a Dad’s perspective on raising his children, and with a bit of humor! Great post, Mark! Enjoy those babies! They grow up too fast!

Colette Duranleau on

Dear Mark:

Congrats on the twins and the blog! What’s been the most surprising/unexpected part of being a new Dad?

Maybe fodder for blog down the road. Congrats again.

babyrama on

Mark, 4.5 months is pretty early to do cry it out–even for those who use it, most wouldn’t use until later. Have you read the research about the physiological stresses and potential damage caused by CIO? You might want to look into it and rethink your position.

Jennifer on

Welcome Mark and Congrats. Ignore Babyrama. Each parent has to make decisions that THEY think are best for them and their family. You are doing a great job and don’t let anyone try and tell you that what you are doing is wrong.

Ashley on

Love that there’s a father blogger on here! And he’s a fan of this site. Can’t wait to hear more, Mark.

As for the cry it out – my parents did it that young to us kids and my sister and I did it to ours and everything seems fine from it, whereas my cousin doesn’t let her two babies cry for more than thirty seconds. To each their own. Each parent and baby is different.

nan on

The babies are so cute – congrats to Mark and his wife. As far as crying it out, we don’t know how long the baby had to cry, so let’s not judge. Maybe it was 5 minutes in order to get himself back to sleep at night after being fed and changed. It’s a good thing to keep twins on a schedule or else you would be tending to one of them every minute of the day! Good luck to Mark and I look forward to your blog!

clara on

I like hearing a dad’s perspective too, but this post makes me so glad my husband was never a fan of CIO. We didn’t cry-it-out with our kids. Its pretty harsh & there is plenty of time to teach kids they can’t always get what they want. An infant only knows that moment, and imagine being alone, using your only method of getting your parents attention and nobody comes. What does that teach a pre-verbal infant? Would we treat an elderly parent that way, leaving them crying & helpless in bed? Whats a 4 mo old going to do, change his own diaper? We put such an importance on independence in this culture, but giving tons of cuddles and keeping baby close when he’s helpless is what really creates a secure & happy person. My husband would thankfully never ignore me & my son while we both cried :(

Erika on

4 months is way to early to be letting your baby cry it out. You don’t HAVE to let him cry it out. Why bother having babies if you’re going to try and “train” them so early? There’s a reason your fiancee was crying in the other room – because it’s wrong and she was fighting her maternal instinct.

Isabell on

There is always a positive and negative to every situation in life especially parenting. Raise your child how you feel is the best for him or her. I think its really great to get a father’s perspective and Mark seems to be the kind of person that makes blogging fun.

Brooke on

DADDY BLOGGER!!! This is going to be wonderful!!

Brittany on

People are SO judgmental on the comments on almost every single thing posted on this website. They’re not YOUR kids. Get over it. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of you have already called Child Protective Services.

Shannon on

My comments are not to be critical, but more just my experience. I have two boys ages 2.5 and 10 months. I don’t think you can spoil a baby, especially one as young as yours are. The only way for a baby to communicate is to cry. Usually there is a reason. Its just tough sometimes to figure out the reason why they’re crying. I didn’t start CIO until my older son was maybe 14-15 months? At least at that point he could communicate with me. To each their own I guess. Congrats on the birth of your beautiful babies and do enjoy every second! Do what feels right for you and your kids, and don’t make your decisions based on what others think is the ‘right’ way, inlcuding me! Glad to see a Dad Blogger!

Kim on

Great first-time blog post, Mark! Congrats to you and Carin and keep on enjoying those beautiful babies! :-D

Kimi2321 on

First time poster, long time reader. Great first post Mark! You definitely are a DILF! ;) Your babies are beautiful and I loved reading your post.

Do you sing them Sugar Ray songs? Of course making them baby friendly.

torgster on

Isn’t it ironic how every previous generation has survived to normal adulthood, when half the commenters on this site believe if they don’t jump on every ridiculous new age bandwagon, their precious kids will be damaged for life. Just because some self-appointed expert does a “study”. God help us all 20 years down the road. CIO is perfectly acceptable, as is bottle feeding, kids actually walking on their own rather than being worn and carried until they’re 5, you name it.

Kristine on

I really enjoyed reading this from dad’s persepctive and I have to say, I’m very jealous of Carin…sounds like she has a real caring father/man. Wish we were all so lucky. Even though I do this thing called parenting alone, I finally had my dream come true at the age of 39, today my son Michael who is 22 mos old is my light, joy, love, soul…all that I could ever imagine has come true. I take the not so great times with the good, laughter, silliness…being a parent is serious business but I enjoy each moment and yes Mark time does go fast. Enjoy it.

Jill on

Congrats and your babies are beautiful!! You both sound like you have it down pat and have a good rhythm and system in place. Don’t listen to all of those who say you are doing the CIO wrong. Every parent makes the best decisions for their children and you seem to be doing just that. The research I have done says to do the CIO between 4 to 6 months, which is what the family I babysit for did when their son was 4 months old. He is now 10 and has no issues at all. Not to mention my friends did the method and many others have done it at well. To each their own. People are allowed their opinion, but to say you are wrong…..is wrong.

So excited to read your blog!!

Seanaci on

I sure hope you’re taking TONS of pics of those babies. Because before you know it, they’ll be 3, talking like crazy, and wanting to do EVERYTHING by themselves. (I know, my son will be 3 on Oct 1st, and I miss the baby days. But I love him at this age as well because we can hold actual conversations.) Anyway! They sure are cute babies! Congrats to you and Carin! :) Your lives are forever blessed in a way you never thought possible. :)

Lynn on

Thanks for blogging Mark! It’s great to hear a guy’s perspective.

As for CIO, if you have fed and changed them and they are still crying, there is no reason to not let them cry for a few minutes. We used it with both of our girls and they are happy, healthy teenagers today.

clara on

I agree that parents should follow their instincts, but when it comes to CIO, research shows over & over that its damaging.There seems to be a lot of defensiveness here about it. We all do the best we can, we can still support each other, but also think critically. To the poster who said that babywearing, breastfeeding & not CIO is “new age”, that’s just comical. Attachment parenting is the most old fashioned parenting there is. As a volunteer LC who has had to study childrearing history, all of human history except for the last 100 years has involved all of that, that’s how we got this far! Cribs and formula were only invented in the early 1900′s. (And I’m not bashing formula, it has its place!)

Andrea on

I understand the crying out thing. I had to do it with my first and eventually it got better. It is better to start now because it gets harder when they get older. Babies and kids like routine. So we read books before going to bed. I have a 8-month old who fussies up before taking naps or going to bed but he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own. It gets easier with the second and listening to them cry. I had a hard time listening to my first. It tore my heart up. But it gets easier and they will learn it won’t get them anywhere to cry. You just have to be consistent with them and have a routine before going to bed. I read that you should go in the room every so often and reassure them everything it is ok, but that didn’t work with mine. He just got madder each time. So I gave that up and didn’t go in his room to reassure him. Eventually you will figure out when you do need to go into the room to make sure they don’t need something and when to just let them cry and fall asleep. Plus, make things boring for me before going to bed. That is something else I learned along the way. If they get excited before going to bed they won’t want to go to bed. Good luck.

Erika on

Those twins are adorable! Mark seems like such a nice person and I am so happy for him and his wife!

AmMy on

My daughter was also born on April 29. I started CIO a month ago. She is a VERY happy baby. She smiles and laughs a lot.

And guess what? At 4 1/2 months she can soothe herself to sleep. Often times she will cry during a nap and when I cannot get there within 5 minutes, by the time I get there she is already back to sleep. At night I feed her and put her to bed, wide awake. I turn off the light, shut the door and do not hear a sound for 10 hours.

Brookie on

Ohhhh boy. And here come the Super Mommies! Mark, you will soon see that some people on this site think Carin should breastfeed til they’re 3, lay in bed with them each night until they fall asleep, never in their life let them view a TV, or even get a taste of something with sugar. I let my daughter cry it out for a few nights as a baby. She is now 6, perfectly fine, happy, secure, and knows she is loved VERY MUCH! No therapy bills rollin in just yet….. You and Carin have to make these decisions as parents. Don’t let anyone pressure you.

robinepowell on

It will be interesting to hear a dad’s point of view on CBB. Good luck to you Mark. ;)

Luna on

Mark, I’m so glad to finally have a Daddy Blogger, and with twins no less. Enjoy every second, because before you know it, they don’t want you to kiss them in public, have an opinion on EVERYTHING, and you’ll miss the baby days. On CIO, do what you feel is right, not what some anonymous people on CBB tell you to do. Hartley and Lydon are TOO CUTE! :)

How is life with two little ones?

jessicad on

I’m so glad we get a male perspective! I love the names you guys chose for the twins, very unique and pretty. They are absolutely adorable as well!

One thing I’ve learned from having a child is confidence, and to follow your instincts. I hope you don’t let the negative comments here get you down. Sleep is one of the most important things the body needs, and people seem to forget that. I was a better mother after I used the CIO method because I was so on edge from 8 months of sleep deprivation, a lot of us have used it and many Dr’s recommend it, nothing wrong with doing what you think is best for you children.

I don’t understand why comments like Erika’s even get through, sad.

Rebecca on

I love it that a dad’s getting to post, and he seems like he’ll be a good one!

Anonymous on

Not sure why I read others comments, the bickering back and forth gets old real quick.

In defense of Mark, I am sure that he didn’t leave his baby hungry or with a dirty diaper to cry it out. As we all know, feeding baby, changing baby, rocking baby, etc, etc, sometimes babies STILL cry. To each their own.

Congrats Mark, your babies are beautiful, and can’t wait to read more of your blog

sunshine on

Love the blog Mark!

Be forewarned that a lot of women think that because they have had a baby that they alone are the experts on how a baby should be raised. They feel that their way of doing things is the “best” and “only” correct way to do things and any other way is just wrong and even harmful. Sigh. Can we mothers please just stop judging each other?

Catherine on

Torgster – I can appreciate your opinion, but in terms of “it’s perfectly fine to let them CIO,” have you read the research? The stress hormone produced when anyone of us gets stressed or screams, cries, etc., stays in the infants system for 3 hours. I don’t think it’s about being a “super mommy.” I’m not even a mother yet, but as an early childhood educator and having worked with infants for many years, I follow the research. It’s about the policy, “do no harm,” something most day care/early childcare facilities adhere to.

On another note, maybe a topic he could speak about is, the music industry and his profession as it will affect his family life, the kids, etc. (IE: will they tour with him (does he even tour anymore?), let them go to concerts, how he feels about them being in the spotlight or chased by paparazzi.) Just some ideas!

Catherine on

Just had another thought… before all the bloggers and moms jump all over me for my comments when I’m not a mother yet, please keep in mind that as an infant childcare provider, you spend almost 8 hours a day with 6 weeks to 36 month old infants. I don’t mean to disrespect any mom and their choice… just wanted to point out some facts on crying and what stress does for a baby’s body.

Sarah on

4 months old and CIO? Nice

clara on

I think he sounds like a very good dad & he will probably be a very fun dad too. I don’t think he means to do the CIO in a mean way, his intentions are good about teaching the baby that “he won’t always get what he wants”, its just that there is no point in teaching that to a kid too young to understand. CIO has no research to support it, just a bunch of defensive moms putting other moms down, even name-calling. All I’m saying is, its not necessary to do, its not healthy to do & in most of the world, the vast majority of babies worldwide get responded to quickly when they cry. I’m sure moms in co-sleeping cultures don’t think of themselves as superior to anyone, they just follow the instincts that all mammals have—to stay close to their babies.

shalay on

I’ve loved Mark for 13 years! Met him twice at album signings in L.A. and he was always nice as can be. Congratulations to you and Carin on your beautiful babies. And I agree with the others, it will be so refreshing and fun to read a dad’s blog.

BP on

I’m happy to see a blog written from a father’s perspective – and one about caring for twins to boot! Double exciting.

What of It? on

Welcome aboard Mark. If Carin is a fan of the site I’m sure she forewarned you. I hope you have a thick skin. It’s enough to try to patience of a saint! Looking forward to your posts.

jessicad on

Where are all these people with CIO syndrome? :) If its so terrible wouldn’t millions of people be walking around showing the damage? I’m fine, my daughter is more than fine since she’s not even 3 and speaks, writes, and reads on a 4 year old level, and I know she’ll remember the thousands of times I went to her when she cried instead of the 3 nights I didn’t while she barely cried for 30 minutes.

shaz on

mark’s and carin’s babies are super cute! loved mark since way back. congrats on your twins! :)

Bailey on

Yada yada yada. I was the same way, ooohhh, I can’t let the baby cry ever. I was wrong. I killed myself making sure I answered every whimper within .01 seconds so my child would feel confident. CIO? No way! Yep, it backfired. It’s not like there is a time when the kids will say, “oh ok you’re not at my beck and call any more” I eventually ended up with a 5 year old with dependency issues. So what say you Warrior Mamas to that? Where’s your research now? Teach them independence at every stage so they get REAL confidence, not pseudo-psycho-babble confidence.

heather on

Mark, congrats on your babies! I think your openness is so wonderful, especially about IVF! At 4 months my little guy started getting fussy at night after sleeping through. I was glad that I did not start CIO because he popped a tooth a few weeks later — at 5 months. He was trying to tell me something hurt. Teething was particularly hard for my son and today I am so glad I was there to comfort him and he did not go through that alone. Anyway, you’ll do what feels right and so will Carin. Keep us posted on your progress!

Persona on

What is wrong with letting an infant cry if they are fed and changed? A fussy child will NOT stop crying if the baby is crying for no reason. People against CIO make no sense. I have seen babies cry as a mother cradles and rocks them because they are fighting sleep. That baby that is still crying is crying it out with you attempting to console them so there is NO difference in my book.

Anita on

More power to you Mark! Sugar Ray has been one of my favorite bands for many years and I’ve seen your shows a few times.

I’m 42 and about to be a mom for the first time. Not sure how I feel about the whole CIO thing yet, but I think how YOU and Carin feel is all that matters. You seem like loving, doting parents and I’m sure THAT will instill all the confidence in your kids that they need. Kudos to you for actually raising them yourself as you see fit. Many celebs would just have a nanny looking after them anyway.

Jayla on

This baby is too young to be left to cry it out. Right now what he needs is to know that someone is there for him and will hug him and hold him and be his “safety blanket” when he needs a safety blanket. Poor baby! Wonder what it’s like to be left all alone crying for hours and wanting a hug when you are only 4 months old and completely helpless?

Andrea Materka on

These babies are just perfect!!!! Can you notice why? Look at daddy! :)You can just tell he’s amazing father!

Kristin on

Oh please, no one is leaving their child to cry for “hours,” way to exaggerate. There is nothing wrong with making sure your child has their needs met and letting them settle themselves down for a few minutes.

We made the mistake of only putting our son into his crib after he had fallen asleep instead of letting him fall asleep there himself at night and that came back to bite us in the butt later when he had no idea how to calm and settle himself. You bet we did things completely differently with our second child! There is nothing wrong with how Mark and Carin are parenting.

You know if you guys keep picking, picking, picking and attacking every celebrity parent who is nice enough to write a blog and share pictures with you, as I’ve seen done here to Mark, Marisol and Kerri, there isn’t going to be anyone left to blog because you’ve scared all them away and ruined the feature. Appreciate it for what it is instead of corroding every celebrity post with your nastiness.

momoftwo on

One of the best gifts you can give your children is the ability to fall asleep comfortably on their own…which means they may have to CIO a few times. You are doing the right thing! Your babies are gorgeous!

Stacey on

I wish my brother and sister-in-law would believe in “cry it out” process. My niece just makes a squeak and they jump on it. Babies are smart from the beginning and figure out quickly they can make a squeak and make a whole room jump. I applaud mark and Carin for understanding a baby’s psyche.

M on

His openness about IVF is refreshing. So many celebs hide that that’s how they conceived their children.

Martha Sabrina Kampe, on

Mark & Carin your twins are adorable. Please don’t let other people tell you how to raise your kids. Because how you and Carin raise them is your business and not anyone elses. Congratulations to Mark & Carin.

mommytoane on

Actually, CIO is suggested to BEGIN between 4-6 months of age. A baby shouldn’t need mommy or daddy to hold it to sleep, no matter what the age. AND this is a choice that Mark and his wife made. Its not anyone’s business to pick at them. Want someone to pick at you for the decisions you made for your family??

I did CIO with my daughter around 6 months. Yeah, it was hard. Yeah, it wasn’t easy to tone her out and not go pick her up. But….did it make her less of a secure person? Heck no! MANY people have commented that they have not seen such a secure, and well adjusted child, as my daughter. At almost 8, her reading level 4-6 years over where she should be. She’s smart as a whip, confident as heck and a sweetheart to boot. I couldn’t ask for a better child.

TY for the blog Mark. Yes, the time flies. Too fast. Take lots of pictures, and journal every moment. You’ll be happy you did later.

Alejandra Awad on

Nice to have a dad joining us!

felicity on

i really applaud him for being so honest about IVF- it is REFRESHING!!!!

i always scratch my head when people work SO hard to have a baby (or in this case, babies) and then let them CIO at such a young age. Why not just hold the baby and let them learn to fall asleep in a more gentle way? I have had my fair share of difficult babies- and it is tough, but…cry it out? not so much. I really loved elizabeth pantley’s no cry sleep solution- it helped us so much with our #1 and #4 children. that, and having a great baby carrier- it helped me get so much done!

Beverly on

Mark! I have followed your career throughout the years. It is awesome to see the joy and peace in your eyes. You face is just glowing with happiness! God Bless you, Carin and the twins! My children are 7, 20 & 25 and it is VERY true! They grow up so fast – make sure you don’t miss a moment of it!

shazam on

Congrats on your babies and just remember….opinions are like a**holes…everyone’s got one and they all stink. Do what you think’s best for your family:)

Stayce on

Thanks for your blog Mark…great seeing a Celeb being open and honest about their IVF and there troubles getting pregnant. Makes us ordinary people not feel so bad. So you are surviving the twin thing huh?! LOL Me and my husband had our first children in February..and we were shocked as well…twin boys!!! and they melt my heart when they smile too! It’s the hardest thing and the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done! Congrats to you both!

HartleyS on

Congrats Mark to you and Carin! Love the name Hartley, although I’m slightly biased as that’s my last name! :) Thanks for taking the time to share the new dad perspective. How did you decide on their names?

Sarah on

I NEVER allow my kids to cry it out. I help as best I can, talking, back rubbing or holding. No reason whatsoever to leave an infant to cry.

Jax on

Hi Mark, Thank you for your lovely post. It’s no nice to get the daddy’s perspective. Your children are beautiful and as new parents, you figure out what’s best for you and your babies, there is no right or wrong way, it’s all individual. You are clearly a very loving parent and that’s the most important thing. Congrats!

Karen on

Too cute! Congratulations! Do enjoy them, because the time does fly. My “babies” are in 6th grade and 9th (high school, sob!)

Jax on

What a shame that Mark cant even give us an insight in to his journey as a new parent without the usual gang of know it all’s. Parenting is so very rewarding but such a learning curb at the same time. Why not just let the man do what’s right for his family? CIO is necessary for a lot of families, and it does not cause harm. My doctor advised me, as a parent of 3 month old twins, to take a break for a few mins when the children wont settle. See if they will settle and fall off to sleep on their own. And guess what, it works! Naturally I wouldnt let them scream for hours on end, but letting a baby settle on their own is not a crime. Let’s face it, Mark is clearly a proud, happy and loving father, he doesnt need your judgment

Erin on

Wow I can’t believe all the harsh recations to the “cry it out” method. I’m a mom to almost 11 month old twins… while it may seem cruel it is a first of many life lessons. On top of it, as a mom to twins getting your little ones to sleep through the night helps to keep mommy and daddy sane which in turn makes for much happier babies! :) Twins are a blast… enjoy!! Oh and btw our twin boys havae slept 12 hours a night since they were 4 months old!!!

Rashell on

******WE HAVE TWINS TOO*******
THE LOVE AND GOOD TIMES GET BETTER WITH EVERY DAY. SCHEDULE! SCHEDULE! SCHEDULE! That got us thru the 1st year, along with the swing, bouncer, jumper rotation. Last tip from a twin MOM to a twin DAD, YO GABBA GABBA and baby channel, seriously the best ever. We allotted about 2 to 3 hours tv time in between feedings and naps, and it’s another great technique to keep your babies soothed, learning and to give you a minute of peace. Our twins are 20 months now, so fun to teach them everything!!! Great to see another great dad!!

Debbie on

The kids are beautiful and “cute” and it looks like you’re a very, very proud papa. Congrats to you and Carin for doing what you had to to bring those two amazing babies into the world. There’s no shame in IVF or any other means of becoming parents. It just goes to show how huge your desire was to be the best father and mother to Lydon and Hartley. They are two very fortunate babies that won’t be babies for very long so enjoy them as much as you can each day and never forget to tell them how much you love them. I’m so happy for you and Carin. God’s blessings to you both (and I don’t just mean the kids) :)

Ashley on

Congratulations!! The babies are beautiful! This first year will fly by, mine will be one October 25 and I can’t believe it!! CIO is what we have always used on my son since he was 8 months and it works (FOR US) plus they can put themselves back to sleep in the middle of the night too without your help. I look forward to reading more of your blogs!

Rob on

I sort of stumbled on this blog. It sounds like you had an experience similar to mine. We had two babies two and half years apart. I was there when each one entered the world. My wife who had natural childbirth both times developed “labour-pain” amnesia as soon as the baby was placed in her arms. Considering that our first baby weighed nine pounds six ounces and our second weight ten pounds eight ounces, I was impressed.

As for me, the first times I held my daughter and son, I felt this immediate rush. It was love at first sight. I found myself smelling their hair and nuzzling their skin. It was like a super mood boosting drug. The time passes so fast. They are both adults, now, and I still have that rush of emotion. The funny thing is that I never, ever thought I would have children until I did.

Enjoy your children. Shower them with unconditional love but patiently enforce the boundaries they need to grow into happy, successful adults. Teach them that learning from mistakes is good, but repeating a mistake is not. Every scraped knee is not a medical emergency. Maintain the bond, which will help them to feel you can be trusted to hear them and they you. Teach them but allow yourself to learn as you go. They don’t come with user manuals so you will make mistakes, and when you do, don’t let feelings of guilt lead you to compound the error.

The tone of your post indicates that you have the makings of a fantastic father and your fiancée sounds like a good mother. The two of you have many roles to fill, but the biggest and best is raising your children well.

Sandy L on

Hey Mark & Carin, congratulations on the birth of your beautiful, precious babies that God has appointed to you. Babies are the most precious gift you will ever receive. Don’t worry about all the negative feedback that you get from the “they are too young to cry it out” posters even though I agree that they are too young. Unfortunately babies don’t come with instruction books (it would be nice if they did!) and we have to learn from mistakes that we may make in the process of raising our children. Years from now you may remember things that you would do differently but one thing is for sure, you will still love those kids like they are toddlers no matter how old they are.

Melissa on

Sounds like you are a very hands-on dad, Mark – that’s awesome! What a couple of cuties!

Monica on

All you people that think you know everything there is to know about raising children need to keep your opinions to yourself. Unless you read a different blog than I did, Mark did not ask for any opinions or suggestions on whether or not to let his children cry it out, he was just telling his story. Leave the man alone- he’s already taking a chance by being the first father to do this blog- don’t go and ruin it for him with your negativity!!

Mark- Congrats on your twins. My brother has twin girls that will be 3 soon so I know how hard it can be. My sister in law says she can do anything now after raising twins. Can’t wait to read your future blogs.

Adinsa on

hi mark & carin,

what an intelligent decision to have a shift taking care of the twins. though i do not have twins however raising two baby boys really tiring me so much because both of them are still small and need attention. you can’t just simply focus on one and leave another. both must be attended fairly otherwise he would get cranky and jealous toward the other.

Anonymous on

WAY TOO EARLY for the CIO method. An infant at that age has short-term memory and will not remember the tough “CIO” method the next night. Both of my boys were just as he described his to be but my girl was super laid back and a great sleeper from day one! These sleeping patterns are likely to reverse in both sexes eventually. I feel they should consider more of the nurturing aspect at this stage and save the “training” for a tad bit later. And yes, it was Carin’s maternal instinct screaming out to her as she “cried in the other room”.

Jennifer Chew on

I think that his son looks more like Mark than his daughter does. If his son keeps up with his looks as he gets older, then he will have NO problems finding girls. I have always thought this about Mark…. that man is EYE CANDY!!!! Not to mention that his music rocks. I think he’s going to make an awesome father. Best of luck to him and the rest of his family.

Cindybatgirl on

Well I see no problem with the CIO. Mark your doing the right thing. I am a mom of 2 11 and 15 but I remember those days. I am also a daycare teacher and I know which babies are held all the time. The babies that don’t CIO at home cry all day at the center until you pick them up. The thing is I have other babies to attend to so I can’t be holding them all the time. I’m not saying not to hold or swaddle your baby, it’s just that don’t pick them up everytime they cry. It makes it easier for us daycare teachers and parents. They will be well adjusted babies. Keep up the good work Mark and Carin we love you guys!

pungentfall on

How very refreshing to get a glimpse from a father’s perspective. Congratulations to you and your wife on your beautiful babies. They look so healthy! I have 4 boys and a set of twins in there that are now 11 years old. It was very challenging with feeding, sleeping, bathing, shopping…you name it. I look back and wonder how we made it. As for the CIO, we let the boys cry it out at 6 months of age and it was the best thing we did, hard at first but the boys learned to self sooth to sleep and we all slept much better (not to be underestimated :). Look forward to reading about your adventures!

heava on

You know, CIO is not for everyone but you have to do what works for you. I did it with my son and it took one night of crying for 45 minutes and that was pretty much it. Babies are adaptable and always exceed our expectations. My ped told me that when they are crying, they are not traumatized, just disappointed. My guy sleeps 12 hours at night with a 3 hour nap in the afternoon at the age of 2…I was happy I enforced sleep…they need it for development and the household shifted into a much happier stress free environment. Good luck Mark and Carin, do what works for you. You clearly only have the best interests of your children in mind. Also, remember posters…they have 2, and a schedule can be vital for 2. If they’re not in sync, there is no rest for Mama and Papa and that is also not good for the little ones…

HTM on

Congrats on your twins, Mark! Glad to see a dad blogging about parenthood. LOVE that you named your daughter Hartley. I’m a mom to identical twin daughters, one of whom is named Hartley. How did you happen to choose the name? Curious because it’s a family name for us, and we’ve never heard of another little girl with it. I can tell you my daughter was thrilled when she heard about your daughter because, as she tells me, “There aren’t any other Hartleys, Mom!”

Annie on

I love these pics I can tell he is a great dad so congrats to you all. May God keep blessing you with lots of joy and patience.

Tee on

Mark, you and Carin make gorgeous babies! Congratulations on your two new bundles of joy. Thank you so much for sharing these personal photos with us. It’s obvious by the look on your face that you are head over heels in love with them.

As for crying it out, I say go for it! It’s not neglect if the infant has it’s needs met and all babies have to learn to put themselves to sleep on their own. I’m a little guilty of it, though… I love rocking my newborn nieces to sleep! Messes up their schedule and makes their Momma not happy with me!

Shelley on

Love it, Love it, Love it!!! I’m not sure if you are reading these comments Mark, but I have got to tell you, you’ve got the right attitude!!! You are an amazing dad. I have an 8 month old and a 2.5 yr old and I ask myself where the ‘babiness’ went. Love the musical comments. Keep the funny attitude, it will carry you through the hard parenting times. This time in their lives is what I like to call Boot Camp – it’s preparing you for everything with them for the rest of your life and theirs.

Sleep training is awesome and it works, but don’t hesitate to rock those babies as much as you can, even during the wee peaceful hours of the morning. It is then you will feel energized by love and completely exhausted. These babies were sent by God, and I’m certain you can feel that. Many blessings to you and your family!

Natalie on

Mark I love that you’re doing the blog. It really is great to hear a father interested in not only his childrens day to day but sharing it with all of us.

I am a daycare provider myself and i believe the cry it out method works very well. I think parents love to stick their noses in every area of their childs life from the beginning. We as a culture seem to think a child should okay every decision we make as parents. We also need to realize that giving the child the secure notion that they will not be responsible for decision making and schedules gives them the freedom to be kids and trust that we do everything for their best interests. We are caring for them not letting them tell us how to care for them. Thats too much stress for a child. After checking the main areas of comfort health and safety (or diapers, cold or warm, pain) there is nothing wrong with giving a child the chance to learn on their own that their bed is their own space for rest and relaxation.

If we “rescue” the child each time it seems to be bored with their sleep we teach a child that they are in control of the schedule in our lives and the simple thought of that responsibility has caused many children today a good deal of stress. A tantrum can mean many things but most of the time it means” I cant handle this disappointment because ive never been made to not get my way and deal with it long enough to see I survived and Im fine without it.” A child can be trained to enjoy his crib and to get him self to sleep. I think parents sometimes want to make it all better because instantly they feel better. Parents have said forever this hurts me more than it hurts you but we forgot to add that it benefits them more in the long run. We have to be careful that we arent trying to appease their crying to make us feel better. They havent learned life lessons we have. We have to be patient and kindly gently let them know we know best and they can trust us to make the right decision for them not just instant gratification for us.

rlrose328 on

How so very cool to have a daddy blogger here! Your twins are adorable, Mark. You are so very lucky to have them both!

As for crying it out, as soon as I saw you post that, I KNEW this blog would be rocking with comments, mostly against. We faced that when we did cry it out with our son when he was a mere 2 months old. Those who think you are just abandoning them and how will they feel, they’ll be terrified, etc., well… we DON’T just ignore them. That is ignorance talking. We go in every 5 minutes, give them a rub on the back, coo to them so they know they are NOT alone, and use a self-soothe method. Every few times, we add 5 minutes until they are asleep. We stuck our son’s fingers into his mouth. By night 3, I’d hear him awaken and whine a moment, then suck on his fingers and back to sleep he went. From that night on, we have had a wonderful sleeper. We have a strict bedtime and a firm routine, along with wonderful night-night music (Nicolette Larson’s “Sleep Baby Sleep” which at 10yo, he still listens to, don’t tell his school buddies!).

Now I type reports for a nationally recognized sleep clinic and they are very firm with reducing parental involvement with problem sleepers. If your child is too used to your involvement in their sleep routine, they will need you to come help them get back to sleep as they get older and do you really want to be soothing your 10yo back to sleep?

Also remember that not ALL children are alike! Some children would NEVER respond like our son did, no matter how long you try to get them into a firm sleep routine.

You just do what works in your heart and with your family… you’ll know if you’re doing the right thing with your child.

Melanie on

I loved reading your post! I feel as I’m right back when my boys were just babies – except you have quite a bit more humor in you then I did back then :) You are a fabulous father Mark.

Erin on

Cute. But…what band? Sugar Ray hasn’t done anything in a decade.

Kristin on

Erin actually they just released another record last year and I remember the song “Boardwalk” getting a little radio play. I saw them live last summer and it was a fun show. Obviously their heyday was around 2000 but they’re still putting out good tunes even if not everyone is hearing about it, which is too bad.

Bancie1031 on

LOVE having a daddy blogger! I love the fact that it’s Mark McGrath even more!!! I have loved Mark McGrath for a long time, been to a couple of Sugar Ray concerts and had the pleasure of meeting him a couple of times :D He was great with my daughter so there isn’t a doubt in my mind that he’s going to be a wonderful dad to Lydon and Hartley.

Mark and Carin, Congratulations on Lydon and Hartley (love their names btw), they are beautiful! Sounds like you are enjoying being parents and as you’ve seen time flies by quickly with your precious children! Thanks for being so honest about your infertility problems :D

Mark – how are your first babies (his dogs for ones that don’t know he cherish his dogs, especially Lola) taking to the twins? And are you and Carin going to have more children (I know it’s a little soon to be thinking about this but hey some people like big families)?
I loved reading this blog and look forward to MANY MANY MANY more to come :D

As far as the CIO argument I’m just going to say this ….. My daughter was born 5 weeks early and had to stay in the NICU (newborn intensive care unit) for 8 days. Each and every time I went in there to visit her there were babies crying, when I said something to the head nurse about it she told me “As long as their fed and change we let them cry. Crying is good for their lungs, not to mention we can’t hold each and every one of time at all times. Plus we offer then pacifiers for comfort but they have to learn to comfort themselves.”

If it’s good enough for newborns then it should be good enough (not to mention safe enough) for a 4 1/2 month old.

Mark and Carin – as parents you will make mistakes and you will learn from them. You have to do what works for you and what you feel is right for YOUR children! Thank you for being open and honest about your experiences thus far and I can’t wait to hear more of them :D Not to mention I love seeing how big your babies have gotten, they’re absolutely gorgeous, just like their parents :D

eternalcanadian on

Kudos to being open about having trouble getting pregnant.

Boo to the “cry it out” at only 4 months. I’d not be saying this if the babies were 14 months.

If it wasn’t a problem or wrong, then why do so many parents feel awful about it (as with Carin crying)? Why is there such a debate about it? It is against nature, simply put. I’ve never seen a mammal not respond immediately when one of her babies squeaked or cried.

At 4 months old the cognitive development of a baby is not at the point they are laying around thinking to themselves “I am bored, I think I’ll yell to see what happens.” We should be responding immediately, mot 2, 5, 10, 20 or 30 minutes later.

Bancie1031 on

Oh yeah I forgot to tell Mark and Carin thank you for sharing these wonderful photos with us! Maybe next time we can get a family photo of the 4 of ya’ll :D

christina on

AAwwww so cute!! I love the blog and so happy for you guys! Those are the two lucky babies!!

Still Life in Southeast Asia on

Loved your first blog post, Mark! It sounds like fatherhood really suits you. Congrats to you and Carin. Your children are beautiful.

Angel on

Congrats! It is awesome to have a dad’s perspective on being a new parent!. I have 3 kids, and they are great! As for those few neg comments about letting your kids cry it out? Don’t sweat em! Those are you’re kids and you raise them the way that you want to Mark. Everyone has their own method of raising their kids. Looking forward to more blogs from you!!!

Josie on

WELCOME….fantastic post…would also love to see a family shot!

Melissa on

“MELTS MY HEART WHEN SHE SMILES FROM HER SOUL”…that’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard a father say about his little girl.
She’s a lucky kid, they both are!

jillian on

omg whats with the rowing it up to the parents on how to raise their children i for one had my first child and never used cio and by god was that a mistake i ended up having an awful time when i did start it at 2 i can tell ya i sure as heck used it on my second and third children my youngest at 4 months and my second daughter at 5 months my children are now 11.9 and 2 and are all happy secure well adjusted normal kids cio is a good method noones leaving babies cry for hours on end so before you start bashing this man and his family you should re read his piece .

every parent has their own way having a baby is a learning curve they have 2 so its twice as hard im sure there are some of you guys that had 4 kids and a new born and were 3 months pregnant and managed to do it no problems well fantastic for you i not all first time parents know what they are doing straight away i sure as hell didnt have a clue and i thank god there was noone commenting on my parenting skills as i would have felt really crap and probably given up so keep the nastyness to your selves as my 11 year old says if you have nothing nice to say dont say anything at all…

Jennifer Chew on

My sister-in-law just gave birth to her daughter about a month and a half ago, and her and my brother just started a college fund for their child. In my opinion for Mark and Carin, they should start college funds for their twins now. Because we all know how expensive college is going to be when babies that are being born around this time turn 18 years old, and they may or may not be given the chance to get scholarships. Trust me, start these college funds now…it will be worth it.

Amber on

IVF babies are the absolute cutest!! I know I have one and yours are no exception!

Someone should have warned you…don’t mention CIO, circumcision, spanking or breastfeeding vs formula. And heaven forbid you discuss work at home mom vs stay at home mom. it gets really ugly then. some people…I swear.

Congrats to you and your beautiful family.

Stephanie on

Love they have a twin parent blogger! And it’s a daddy too! Mark and Carin you are truly blessed, times two!

As for the CIO, as soon as I read it I knew the negative comments were on their way. With twins sometimes you have to use the CIO method. Besides who are you people to judge if someone uses it? Stick to raising your own kids. Everyone has different methods. I’m sure he is not leaving the child to cry for hours. People with a singleton just don’t understand that you have to figure out what method works..fast. And you have to do it twice. It’s quite irritating when the “experts” add their advice. Especially when they just have one. Those are the people moms of multiples roll our eyes at during playgroup.

Raise those babies Mark, don’t take those comments to heart, and btw the twins are beautiful!

julie on

Hi Mark well I am also a new mom of boy/girl twins. They are a month behind your little ones. I have to say everything you are doing is right. I love the fact you have your child out with you to eat. We too are believers in getting the kids out.

Has for the CIO comment. GO YOU!! I can’t tell you enough about how that has helped us. It only took us three days and now our three month old twins are sleeping 10-7am . We never let them scream for hours and hours but we did learn instead of a bottle they really only needed the pacifier since they were getting enough food during the day. Good luck with everything. can’t wait to hear more. I hope we never have to give up the swaddle hahaha

Edith on

You might want to consult with your pediatrician before letting your infants cry it out. My pediatrician did not recommend crying it out until much older.
Good luck and congrats.
Edith

Sandy on

Your right- it does go by FAST. Another reason 4 1/2 months is to young to let a baby cry it out. NO mother should cry while letting her baby scream for someone to come and no one does. What I would give for another shot of getting my crying baby and getting to rock and snuggle them back to sleep! It will be over soon- grab those moments and cherish them not use them as a lesson to teach a much to young infant that they can’t always get what they want. How about waiting until they are a year old and telling them “no” when they want candy at the grocery store???

Shauna on

As a 25 year old who had to use IVF to get pregnant I say congratulations on your twins and thank-you Mark for being honest about your route to pregnancy. I don’t understand why people in Hollywood would be reluctant to share their struggles with achieving pregnancy when there are so many others out there going through the same thing (I like to share my story to give other people hope that it will happen). Having a baby is a miracle, and it definitely changes your life. And everyone else it right, it goes by so fast!

beth on

You are so blessed! Great Blog. I loved the part of “melts my heart when she smiles from her soul”…so true!

Kathy on

Kudos to them for sharing their experiences with IVF. I’ve been blessed with two healthy children and a third on the way, but have several friends struggling with fertility issues. I understand that one’s personal business is just that, but it really helps them to see that fertility issues affect everyone regardless of income or occupation.

Kerri on

Hey Mark…congrats to you and Carin..the babies are beautiful. I have 2 daughters 8 and 10 years old. Since I have always been a big Sugar Ray fan, my daughters grew up with your music. When my oldest Kayla was about 1, she used to bang on our cabinet where we kept the stereo and say “Go, go, go” to play your song. It was when it first came out. A few years later both of them would belt out “Chasing You Around” every time we got in the car and they would sing it on the top of their lungs. Just wanted to share those memories with you. Make sure you play all your music for those babies. I’m sure they will enjoy it as much as mine and will become your number one fans!

d on

The best part of this blog was when he quoted the Stones. I sang “You can’t always get whatcha want” to my colicky babies and tantrum 2-year-olds so much that when my (oldest of 3) 5-year-old heard the song on the radio, he said, “Mommy, they’re playing your song!”

Congrats to Mark and Carin…

T on

Thank you for coming out about your infertility struggles! Not enough celebrities bring attention to it and I’m so glad you did. Congrats on your beautiful family!

Victoria on

Congratulations Mark & Carin!! Those babies really look like their dad right now! WOW!! Enjoy being a papa x2!! :)

Sarah on

As a mother of twins, I am enjoying the dad’s take on raising twins. Good luck to him! It does get easier! :)

blanka on

Why do people think you have to let your baby cry it out?!!

I never did that with my son and he is well adjusted little boy today, who goes to sleep by himself. Babies are not meant to auto sooth themselves uynless they have no choice because their parents are not there… a 4 months old doesnt manipulate, they cry because they need something and our job is to be there for them when they do.

Congrats to both on your adorable kids.

Angie on

Mark, great job! Kudos for blogging your true thoughts and feelings, as they say: “It takes a real man…” Good luck and I’m looking forward to all your future blogs!

RockyMtnMom on

We are parents of twins too! And I echo Rashall…SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE! is so important with twins/multiples. Our twins are now almost 7 and it boggles the mind at how fast time truly goes by. Relish every squeak, coo, cuddle, scream, smile, giggle and tantrum! In my opinion there is only 1 bad thing about having children…they grow WAY too fast! Congratulations on your beautiful babies…and I too look forward to hearing/reading from a Daddy’s perspective.

Rosalie on

Welcome Mark! Congrats on your beautiful twins! I’m sure your world (and Carin’s) has been turned upside down since the birth of your children and their health and happiness is most important to you.

To everyone else, stop reading the blogs, or at the very least keep your weirdo opinionated comments to yourselves. No wonder People bloggers change every couple of weeks, no one wants to come back. You’re evil, mean people. Its none of your business how anyone chooses to raise their children. I really have to wonder what you people would do with your time if not for all these sites for you to share your “intelligent” opinion. Do us all a favor and go back to watching Jerry Springer.

Anna on

Hi all & especially Mark! I have never blogged before and sort of stumbled on this one as I am an avid reader of people.com. I have 11 month old twins myself (conceived with the help of ivf as well).

All this talk of cry it out etc – first of all, until you have twins yourself you don’t really understand anything even if you have many kids as it is totally different to have twins.

Secondly – I let mine cry themselves to sleep when they were around three months (it lasted for about five minutes but the first time it’s a little bit heartbreaking anyway…) and pretty much since then they have happily fallen asleep by themselves in their own crib. They are now some of the most comfortable babies I have ever seen and they fall asleep anywhere and feel safe – they don’t need to be carried or dragged around in their prams like many of my friends babies.

For you who have twins you know how important that is as you cannot carry both around at the same time!!

So, keep blogging but make sure you have thick skin as I am sure you will keep on getting narrow-minded and know-it-all comments! I wish all daddies were as committed as you seem to be to your twins, good luck – my twins were the best thing to happen to me and my husband and I am sure you feel the same!

heather on

Thats too funny my boy/girl twins were born the EXACT same day!! Congratulations and welcome to the club!!

Claire on

Congratulations to Mark and Carin! What wonderful, beautiful babies! I applaud your down-to-earth parenting style.

I agree with all the parents who used CIO. Ignore the anti-CIO parents. They’re sleep deprived and don’t know what they’re talking about. I say, “You go!” My parents let me CIO and I don’t harbor any resentment or psychological damage. They were smart enough to know that, just as you have to teach them to read and write, you have to teach them to self-soothe and sleep. I did this with my kids. I knew that listening to them cry for even a few minutes wasn’t easy, but a good night’s sleep (for everyone) was beneficial. At 8 weeks my babies slept for 8 hours straight. No I was not “lucky” and I did not “just have good babies.” It was hard work but worth it. I wasn’t constantly tired throughout the day because we had ALL slept through the night!

I have friends who have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. They refuse to use CIO and are always tired and irritable (all of them). They get up with both kids several times a night and have pretty much lost all their friends because they’re constantly exhausted and cranky. They spend their nights (and days) catering to their kids every whine and whimper and, as a result, they have extremely overly dependent children.

Maybe you should tell the anti-CIO people that if they want to get up all night long with your babies, come on over! You’ll be sleeping peacefully, as you should be :-)

turtledove on

Wow, I’m so shocked at some of these negative comments. I started reading them and thought “oh how nice – everyone is so welcoming to this new Dad blogging.” You are absolutely entitled to your opinion but should you really be judging people on their parenting skills? The babies sound healthy and happy. Those of you that are so critical don’t even know how long he cried – it might have been 5 minutes or less. Get over it. There are no babies that have died from crying. Psychological BS!!!!!

My son is 5 now and we let him cry it out around 4.5 months – it last a few minutes and he self soothed and he is well adjusted, happy, not needy and he can sleep ANYWHERE and ANYTIME! My husband or myself never once felt as if we were doing him wrong by letting him cry a little – when exactly did you people get to shower, use the bathroom etc. YOU NEVER LET YOUR BABIES CRY????? EVER???? I should hung out with you and learned some super important parenting lessons. Oh wait, my son is intelligent, creative and can play alone or with a group because I fostered his independence from infancy! Get a grip and get over yourself. AND before you comment, yes I felt extremely guilty the first time I let him cry, but I got over it when the next time he only cried for 2 minutes and the third time no tears at all! So shove it.

Oh and Mark, congrats on your twins. Always been a big fan. Good luck with everything and enjoy it!

Jen on

I can’t believe people are judging Mark on CIO! First of all, how many of you are moms/dads of multiples? Hmmm…didn’t think many. I know there are some.

You have NO idea what it’s like to be a parent of multiples and the exhaustion that goes into it. Raising twins is COMPLETELY different from having a singleton. It’s challenging, rewarding, exhausting, frustrating, but again very rewarding to see the bond that the two have, and when they’re older, seeing them walk hand-in-hand together. Parents of multiples do things differently than parents of singletons do, just because we HAVE to out of survival and necessity. So please don’t judge him for the CIO comment. He’s doing what he feels is best for his family, and you all do what you feel is best for your family.

We each do things differently, and just learn to live with it. Please appreciate his posts and don’t judge him. It’s so nice to have a male perspective, and especially a twin perspective here.

andrea on

I have boy/girl twins. They have an amazing connection still five years later. Let them sleep in the same crib. That was one of the best things we did till they were six months old. They need the connection and they loved being with each other. When we separated them, I put the cribs next two each other so they could talk and touch each other. they used to toss pacifiers at each other.:) Twins have an amazing bond, as know one knows their strengths and weakness like the other. Enjoy

Jennifer on

Congrats on the twins. They are so CUTE!!!!!! I have a 4 yr. old daughter and she is the best thing to ever happen to me. You raise those babies the way you want, I think as long as their fed and clean and warm, you are doing an excellent job. You and you’re fiance are so lucky. P.S. love Sugar Ray.

Lisa on

Here’s the thing with CIO. What ever way you do it someone will think its wrong. If you let them CIO, then they are stressed and feel abandoned. If you pick them up, you are spoiling them and setting them up for failure.

Do what you think is best but let me leave you with this advice. I am the mother of twins who are 13 yr now and I picked them up every chance I got. They are very self sufficent, outgoing and the most unspoiled children you will ever meet. I picked them up because they grow sooo fast and before long they DON’T want you to pick them up.

Kiki on

Congrats! And I give you props for writing on a controversial topic in your very first post! I had to laugh at the PP who said it just right–you’re going to hear advice and opinions about what is right or wrong that runs the full gamut. Nice job, Daddy.

Your IVF Doc! on

I love the Blog and it looks like you are doing an amazing job as a Dad! Thanks for being so open about the IVF process, I think it really helps other people in need of assistance. I think there may be a future as “Mark” the poster dad for fertility awareness, just let me know when you are ready!!!!! Best wishes always, SG

Nicole on

Love this post!! Congrats on your beautiful babies!!!

blessedwithboys on

Mark, please don’t post any more stories of how you and your fiancee neglect the emotional well-being of your precious little babies. It’s really quite sickening!

M on

Just curious…….why didn’t they get married in the year and half they tried to have a baby? If they’re so committed to each other why not give the babies a “real” family? Why are couples so against being married now days? If it’s because they’re afraid it won’t work out then why even bring kids into the mix?

Misniki on

Wow, tough crowd here! How about showing Mark a little more support and a LOT less cynicism?! To each their own, it sounds like he and his wife are doing their BEST at being new parents. Congrats on your beautiful new additions, and Apr 29 is a RAD day – it’s also my mom’s bday! :) Welcome to the blogosphere Mark, I’ll be looking forward to reading your updates as often as you can free up an arm to write ‘em! ;-) Take care, ~Nikki

clara on

I’d like to add that even though I’m not a CIO fan, I can’t judge anyone who has twins. I can imagine its a lot tougher to get them to stay asleep. I do look forward to reading more.

I think its funny that the few that said something about not CIO are not half as judgemental of Mark as the pro CIO moms are of them. We can all learn from each other :) We don’t have to all agree.

Margaret on

Congrat Mark and Carin….. You will make wonderful parents. You can tell that you have alot of love for your children. Raise them the way you need and want to, you are giving them unconditinal love. I am raising my 8 month old nephew and everyday I am blessed that he is in my life, just the little things he does makes my day. I wake up just loving him and i was almost done raising kids. I have a 16 yr old daughter so I had to start all over and I don’t regret any of it. They are a blessing and enjoy every face expression, every movement, and every sound they make.

Stephanie on

“Don’t judge others, or you will be judged. You will be judged in the same way that you judge others, and the amount you give to others will be given to you.” Matthew 7:1-2

Barbara on

GREAT BLOG – you’re already a great dad. Kids are so lucky, you both are so lucky. Enjoy it all!!!

Alyssa Clements on

It is funny what posters focus on. It loses sight of such a beautiful post and tribute to your children. I think only you, as a parent, should be able to critique your skills! I have a 5 month old from IVF. He is my miracle. I am happy you and your wife are honest and don’t hide it like the other POM (parents of multiples-yes you J.Lo and Rebecca!) There is nothing wrong with wanting a family so bad and fighting for it! I am so happy you connect with your fans on such an intimate topic! Congrats to you and your beautiful family!!

Mandy on

Mark thanks for sharing your pics and story. Your twins are adorable. Sometimes it can be hard but if your baby is clean and fed with no signs of any problems and crying for no apparent reason and still crying, there’s nothing you can do for them. Make sure they are safe in their crib, and walk away. Put your headphones on and listen to your music or whatever. The baby isn’t going to die from crying, in fact it might help them to cry a bit. Maybe they want to be left alone. There is nothing wrong with that if the baby is taken care of and still crying.

Good luck with your beautiful babies. And thanks for telling us how the babies were conceived, it gives some of us infertile folks a little bit of hope.

Tammy on

Hi Mark,
Congratulations to you & Carin…I am impressed with your honesty about your road to becoming pregnant and you talking about IVF….
You look like a proud first time Daddy….and you are sooo cute with your two babies….You & Carin ignore these negative comments about your babies…..
You do whats best for you and your children….You seem to have a lot of love for your fiancee and your babies…Pictures do not lie….You are over the moon in love with your girl and your little man….
Enjoy them they do grow up soooo FAST as I have a 13 year old….

Best of luck to the both of you and your adorable twins….

Tammy

Patricia on

Crying it Out doesn’t teach an infant patience or self-soothing. It just teaches them that you aren’t always there when they need you.

Jackie Greig on

I love the Rolling Stones quote. I have a 5 year old who loves the song. When I say, “What does Mick Jagger say?” during a disagreement, she replies, “you can’t always get what you want”. ;-)

JD on

I let my daughter cry it out at 4 months! Wow, guess what, she’s a perfectly normal, well adjusted kid!!!

Baby G Mom on

Mark, Congratulations to you and your wife on your lovely babies! And KUDOS to you for not being afraid or ashamed of utilizing IVF to help you achieve your dream. There is no shame in it and it is wonderful that we have this technology to assist those of us who encounter problems but wish to experience the joy of parenthood. I wish more celebs would talk about it. My son was born thanks to IVF and we are in the early stages of success after another round and hoping it will make it through to round out our family! Have fun with those babies!

Brigid on

I had my first baby on April 29th 17 years ago! My once very fussy, baby boy is off to college next fall! Enjoy them, they will teach you way more than you can ever teach them, and they honestly only learn by the example that you set for them! When in doubt remember that slow and steady always wins the race…Good Luck!

MellyMom on

Oh boy, the we know it best moms are out in full force! We followed the motto of “every child is different” and what works for one won’t work for another, you just need to figure out what works best for you and your family. We would ALWAYS sing to our son (and then our daughter) “you can’t always get whatchu waannnnnt” (although we were off key at best). I think it will be great to hear from a dad’s perspective b/c let’s face it, dad’s are a little more relaxed than us moms at times but dad’s also don’t “put it out there” as much as the moms do, so it’s great to hear from a dad.

Tiffany on

I was so happy to read this blog. Mark McGrath is a wonderful father. he seems different from other fathers out there. He is very hands on. I am looking forward to reading more blogs from Mark McGrath.

dede on

congrats their beatiful

Heather on

Congrats Mark and Carin! My husband and I had our first son in March and he will be 6 months old on the 28th! It goes by so quickly. Enjoy every moment whether it be a happy, fussy, sick, or exhausted moment enjoy them. I can’t wait to read more of your blog. It’s ok to listen to what others say about parenting, I will listen but like my Mammy says “Take the meat of what they are saying and throw out the bones”. Blessings to you and your precious family and good luck with your blog! : )

roxana on

Totally cute blog!!! I agree with everyone on here…so great to have a guys perspective!! Mark-nicely put, “can’t think of a better way to start my day…” Congratulations on your babies!!

Jennifer on

I don’t agree at all with letting a baby cry like that. It’s completely cruel. All that baby has to communicate with you IS crying so get over it and pick them up!!! You made the baby! Take care of it!

Julie on

Thank you for sharing your journey about IVF. So many people deny it or don’t talk about it but it’s a reality for a lot of us suffering from infertility

Michelle on

Thanks for being honest about how you conceived. We tried for years and had to do IUI and got pregnant the first try, with just one. I wasn’t ashamed to tell people what we did. It was a blessing to bring our beautiful daughter into this world. So congrats on your two beautiful miracles!

karina on

i’m 55, a bit older than mark, and from the family bed generation. it seems that there is a brand new, radically different approach to comforting (or not) babies every ten years. Cry it out is insanely cruel for such a young baby. I pity this generation of babes that experience this kind of neglect!

Anna on

I am a “great” Grandmother and believe it is impossible to spoil a 4.5 month old baby. I wish you would re-visit the idea of CIO for a baby this young. It sounds as though he had gas pains and needed a little extra burping. Those pains can be extremely painful to a little one, and where was the love and attention when he needed it? When a child is old enough to communicate what is bothering him, is the time to “CIO”. Possibly, you will get the hang of it by your second or third pregnancy.

donna on

hi mark cong on the twins they are so cute im a mother of three 2 boys and one girl they are a blessing from god above i love my kids very much ya keep on doing what u feel is best for ya and everthing will be allright im a twin also i have a twin sister and we had fun with that twin thing and we still do people always get me confused with my twinsister well take care and god bless u and your family

Lissa on

I wondered how far I would get down the posts before someone started admonishing him for letting the baby “cry it out.” Nowhere did I read that he let the child cry for hours or half a day. I was instructed by the pediatrician not to pick my baby up every single time she let out a whimper. You learn as a parent to distinguish between a “I need something” cry versus a “I need to fuss a bit and develop my lungs” cry. Sometimes the Mommy Mafia is just too much.

Nora on

Congrats on the babies! Thank you for admitting that you guys had medical assistance in getting pregnant! Now let’s see if the Travolta’s man up!

MG on

Love the fact that there is a daddy blogger this time around. So, congrats Mark on both your babies!

On a side note, seriously people! Unless you were in the house with them, & know for sure that his kid was screaming his head off for an extended amount of time, then there is no reason to throw out accusations of neglect. I started using the CIO method with my daughter when she was 6 mos old. I know it’s not the right method for everyone, but it worked for us & when done properly, there are no negative effects. There is also a difference between cry it out & scream it out. I would let my daughter fuss & as soon as she started to get stressed out I would go in & soothe her. After a week, she whined for a few minuets then went to bed. She’s now 2 & has normal healthy attachments & show no signs of ever feeling abandoned or neglected. But I’m sure some of you will say that will come in time. Some of you people need to get a grip.

Becky on

I started my daughter on a nighttime routine and then lay her in her bed after the routine to cry it out to learn to fall asleep on her own when she was 6 weeks old. The first night, she cried 30 seconds tops. The 2nd night, she stopped crying by the time I shut the door and that was it. She would lay in her crib and fall right asleep every night by herself after that and it was heaven for both of us. Not all babies are that easy with it, but just proves that 4 months is NOT too early. The thing that helped me the most though was the routine. If I just layed her in her crib to cry, she’d freak, but I stripped her down, gave her a bath, got her jammies on, kissed Dad, read a book and then layed her down. Babies need routine because they know what comes next. Once I did the routine, it was perfect.

Mark – Don’t listen to the people freaking out that 4 months is too young to let them cry it out. They are YOUR babies (adorable too I have to add!) to raise how YOU feel is best! Thanks for blogging and sharing pics!! I am excited to read all your posts!

Becky on

Bailey! You get the #1 comment of the year award! LOVE IT! Awesome and SO true! My daughter is 4 and you would not believe how amazing this little girl is and everyone tells me when they watch her, it’s not like watching a “kid”. She is polite, smart and if another child tries to take the toy she is playing with away, she just gives it to them and gets something else…..and we let her CIO. Oh and when we just had an orientation at her preschool and they had a whole section on what to do with seperation anxiety, I didn’t have to listen to a word of that because she has never suffered from that, probably because we raised her to be independent and not clinging to mom for every little thing….including needing me to sleep. She fell asleep on her own by 6 weeks. Now, that’s not to say my next one won’t be this easy, but the next one will CIO too because I think that has a lot to do with how amazing she is.

Ann on

I am so happy for you and your wife. You have been blessed with two beautiful babies. This is a time to cherish – and it seems like you are doing so. Enjoy!! Much love to you and your family.

Juliette on

Congrats on your beautiful twins! It’s lovely to read a blog from a Dad’s perspective. I also think 4 months is too early to let a baby CIO and here’s why: Infants 0-12 months are in a developmental stage called “trust vs mistrust”. They must learn to trust their parents to care for their basic needs and they need to form secure attachments to their parents. Crying is a distress signal. Research shows that if infants are soothed quickly and effectively, they learn that the world is a safe place where their needs are met, and they actually become MORE independent later on. (Look up attachment theory for more info). My son is 9 months old and he has (thankfully) been sleeping through the night (11 hours) since he was 2 months old.

TwinMom on

Great post, Mark, and thanks for sharing. Looking forward to seeing and hearing about your adventures with twins. I know mine are amazing! Unfortunately this also appears to be a “welcome to parenthood” moment where everyone with a belly button comes out with their opinion on how what you’re doing is the worst thing that can be done to a baby. No matter what it is, someone is going to tell you that their way is better. All these bored housewives with their reseach degrees from the University of Google need to step off and let a parent be a parent. Peace and love to you and your family!

Colleen on

Congrats Mark! Your twins are beautiful!! It’s amazing how many people are immediately opposed to CIO. I’m not a mother yet but I’ve done plenty of babysitting where sometimes your best bet is to let the child cry. If you’ve tried everything else then letting them cry is what you have to do. They aren’t going to develop “psychological problems” or whatever. You can’t always listen to what the “experts” have to say. YOU’RE the parent and you raise your kids the way YOU think is best. Back off people and the let the man be the father that he’s trying to be. I’m not trying to add to the bickering but jeez, every parent is different-start realzing that.

Jo on

Very recent research that touches on the importance of responding to a baby’s cries:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/09/100921163709.htm

Amy on

Congrats on your new family. Kiddos are lovely.

natalie on

I can’t believe people see your picture with a little baby sleeping on your chest and all they can do is negatively comment on the fact that you let your baby cry himself to sleep. I believe that everyone has their own way of doing things, what may work for you may not work for others, but it is essentially your decision.

Katy on

FACT- Babies who are made to cry it out at to young of an age have seperation anxiety and other issues as they age. Its the same as children who got no affection in first months of life. 4 months is NOT recommended regardless of what some here have said. 6 months is absolute earliest.

People need to realize having children will disrupt your sleep & trying to get babies on adult schedule is insane.

It doesnt make them bad parents at all – we ALL make mistakes. They are just misinformed. Sounds like they are having a blast with the babies and I wish them luck.

Sarah on

Keep doing what you’re doing Mark and Carin! You guys seem like you’re doing great!! I am a mother myself but I am also a professional nanny and I specialize in the care of multiples. I know from experience having cared for a set of quads and a set of triplets, CIO is sometimes your only choice. When you’ve got 1 baby in the bathtub or on the changing table and the other baby starts crying…well, that baby is just going to have to cry for a little bit. Multiples especially, need to learn to self soothe earlier than singltons do and that’s simply because sometimes there are more babies than caregivers present. Even though I am a mom of a singlton, I have logged enough hours caring for multiples to realize this and I just roll my eyes at the CIO nazies.

Ashley on

Katy,
I think you have that backwards. Children who are over coddled and get too much attention at an earlier age develop seperation anxiety because they have grown dependant. There is a balance that has to be struck, and I don’t think either extreme is good for a child, so far so good with my kids though (knock wood).

MG on

Katy, I’ve taken care of kids who’s parents coddled them to the point where they couldn’t go on a date night without the kid becoming so distraught, they made themselves sick. Seriously, one 3 year old made himself vomit & cried for hours when his parents left the house. It didn’t matter how much I tried to soothe him or comfort him, he would still scream. I have another friend who can’t go on a date night with her husband because her 2 year old is so dependant on mom putting her to sleep, she gets herself so worked up, she vomits.

I didn’t want this for my daughter, so we did the CIO method. My daughter is 2 years old & is very secure with herself. Leaving her to fuss for a few min is not going to harm the baby. You can tell when they start getting stressed out & over worked up. Then you go in & soothe them & start all over again. People comment at how well adjusted & social my daughter is. She doesn’t lack for attention in any way shape or form. Even though she’s been putting herself to sleep since she was 7 mos old, we still had our nights when we were up & down with her because she wasn’t feeling good. We also had nights where my daughter wanted to be rocked to sleep vs going to sleep on her own. I was more than happy to rock her to sleep if she wanted me to.

So for those of you who think that we force our kids to scream themselves to sleep so that we can get some extra rest need to not make so many assumptions. It’s not as simple as putting the baby in the crib & walking away. There is so much more that goes into it.

mama2ltnmj on

When I first read the article–I felt bad for Carin…I can totally remember that feeling of heartache! I chose to co-sleep for both boys as I was nursing and it was easier –plus I love snuggling my babies( but yes, Less sleep)…but there were also times that I had to use CIO and it’s hard at first…My oldest is six and he has never been a consistent sleeper…its a static thing. A bout of illness can change a good sleeper to a bad one, so can teething etc. Babies have different cries…a sad or mad cry is different than one of pain…We parents learn to read those cries. And I will agree–CIO does make for a more consistant sleeper– a necessity if you have twins!

Tara on

Congratulations Mark! I also find it puzzling why other celebrity don’t admit that they used IVF. There’s no shame in doing so and in fact, I think it’s lame to pretend that it was natural. What do they think we believe when the mother is older in age and the birth results in multiples? Do they really think that the public buys that Hollywood has a naturally high number of twins? Even those couples that have a single baby … is it really that easy to get pregnant after 40? 45? 47? Without the intervention of science? Really??? C’mon.

Jennifer on

I couldn’t agree more with Bailey when she said “I eventually ended up with a 5 year old with dependency issues”. I have an 8 year old with the same issues and I kick myself for not doing CIO with her and her younger brother who is now 3 and also will not sleep in his room and can’t go to bed without my right by his side.

Like I said before, each family has to do what they think is right for their family and other mothers/fathers should not judge how someone else is raising their children. What do you care anyway if someone is doing CIO? You have to ask yourself this simple question. Is the fact that someone else is doing a method you don’t believe in or think is right effecting you? Is it effecting your children? I believe the answer is NO so therefore it’s really none of your business and keep your mouth shut.

We all have different ways to raise our children but we should also respect each other and not put down another parent. It’s hard enough being a parent these days, we don’t need some stranger making us feel guilty about our choices.

I’ll get off my soap box now.

Bancie1031 on

Mark you will learn that no matter what you do you will NEVER satisfy everyone on here …… Everyone has an opinion and half think their way is the only way and the best way.

You and Carin are doing great, do what feels right for the 2 of you. Cherish and love your children, you can’t go wrong :D

gatorgrl2 on

I am currently pregnant from IVF. Thank you for being so open about it!

Sara on

Mark – Congrats!

As far as Cry-it-Out: Don’t listen to anyone else. You and Carin do what’s right for you. You’ll know if something is really wrong. I have an 8 week old, so I don’t do CIO yet. But the time will come when I have too. You’re instincts will tell you what to do.

All the best to you and your family!

Denise on

Your babies are beautiful. Raise them the best way you know how…it’s what we all do. None of us are experts to say when you should do cry it out or anything else. Do your best and they’ll grow up just fine.

K on

Lydon is wearing a pj set from Tea Collection – so cute! http://www.teacollection.com/boys-pajamas-sleepwear

Li on

Great blog, love having a daddy blogger! Your honesty about IVF is refreshing, I think it’s wonderful that you’re so open about it. While I didn’t do IVF, I do have twins (and a 3 & 5 year old), AND my husband is a musician who is on the road 6 months out of the year, so I am alone a lot with the kids, I feel for your fiance during these times, it isn’t easy. :)

I do not do CIO, so those of you who say it’s necessary with twins, it’s not. I’m alone half the year and I respond to my children’s needs appropriately (3 and 5 yr old can wait their turn, etc.) and I am also exclusively breastfeeding. Small babies should not be left to CIO, it’s not healthy and it’s not just my opinion. It goes against nature. Here’s a great article on it http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/excessive-crying-harmful-to-babies.html My twins sleep 8-10 hours a night and I do not CIO, some kids are just different. My 3 & 5 yr old never slept that well before age 2, they’re just different, but now they sleep perfectly.

As for what a previous poster said about the nurses letting the premature babies CIO in the NICU and it being good for their lungs, it’s not. That nurse was misinformed.

L on

I looked you up because my husband and I love to watch don’t forget the lyrics and we were wondering how old you were. By the way he thought you were only 34 35 maybe. Anyways god bless your beautiful twins; we are not young parents being in our early 40′s with an 8 yr old and 2 yr old. I truly beleive we would not have appreciated them years ago the way we do now. They are the highlight of our lives.

guest on

they look just like him, esp the girl

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