Lily Allen’s Health Scares Left Her ‘Living In Fear’

09/10/2010 at 04:00 PM ET
Mike Marsland/WireImage

After suffering a miscarriage with her first pregnancy, Lily Allen‘s experience the second time around — she’s expecting a baby with boyfriend Sam Cooper — hasn’t been much easier.

“I came off the pill and, weirdly, a week later it happened. But then it was really difficult, I had complications,” the songstress, 25, reveals in The Sunday Times.

“I had about a week and a half of really heavy bleeding and had to have lots of scans … I’ve been living in fear for the past three months.”

But not even health scares can deter Allen from wanting a family — a wish, she says, she’s had since childhood. “I’ve probably been saying it since I was seven!” she admits.

While her dreams may be finally coming true, the expectant mum insists she has no plans of combining her successful career — including a Grammy nomination — with her personal life.

“I don’t think it’s that much a part of me, to be honest,” she says of her decision to not tell her future children of her pop star days.

“It’s something I’ve done, that I enjoyed doing, and I may go back to doing it in years to come, but I’ve got to believe that there is more.”

What will take center stage, then? Raising her kids in as normal and family-oriented environment as possible, Allen explains.

“It’s not that I didn’t enjoy my childhood, because I did, but I suppose I was always quite fascinated by how a normal family would operate,” she muses. “Because everyone I knew when I was growing up came from divorced parents. I do remember when I had my first proper boyfriend at 16, going to his parents’ house in Ireland and we all sat round had dinner together and I was really overwhelmed by the whole thing.”

— Anya Leon

FILED UNDER: Maternity , News

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Showing 48 comments

Mari Mari Quite Contrary on

Hoping that everything turns out wonderfully well. All the best. πŸ™‚

Lacey on

I’m glad everything is fine. Lily has been talking about children for a few years in the press, and it’s awesome that she finally getting her wish. Let me just say that marriage doesn’t equal a family unit. A lot of couples don’t marry or chose to marry after their children, and still have very happy, close family households.

CB on

She could have had complications at the beginning as you are suppose to be off of the pill for 3 months prior to becoming pregnant. Just saying!

Kristin on

I also got pregnant immediately after stopping the pill and also suffered a miscarriage so I know what she’s gone through and my heart goes out to her. I now have a happy and healthy baby girl who is going to be one in about a week. You just have to trust that everything will turn out for the best. πŸ™‚

Kate on

Only some doctors say to wait three montha. A lot of women ovulate two weeks after stopping and get pregnant with no problems.

JMO on

Aww I really wish she wouldn’t stop music, but I understand.

Mary on

My cousin got pregnant immediately after going off the pill and a perfectly healthy, and adorable set of twins.

I guess it is actually common to conceive multiples right after going off the pill, because the pituitary gland is still adjusting to not being on the pill, so the body may release multiple eggs.

Amy on

The reason you’re supposed to wait to get pregnant until after you’ve been off the pill for three months is so your uterus can build back up a good cushy lining for the fetus to attach to. That’s why so many miscarriages take place in women who get pregnant right after coming off the pill–they may be ovulating just fine, but their uterus isn’t quite ready to carry the baby.

Best of luck to Lily!

Jacqui on

God bless her, it’s no fun to experience those complications. Wishing her well!

Lisa on

Best wishes to her and for a healthy pregnancy. That is very scary, especially with her history. I hope she is taking it nice and easy and letting her boyfriend pamper her. πŸ™‚

Nicole on

Good for her! Already thinking of putting her child first and foremost!

Crystal on

I found this story very enlightening and what I needed to hear. My husband and I suffered a miscarriage last week and have been feeling very depressed. Like Lily, I have also wanted children since I was a pre-teen and when I was finally able to start trying [after going thru chemo and radiation (for breast cancer) and a myomectomy last year] my husband and I were so excited. Even after all of the physical things, we never even thought about the possibility of a miscarriage. I guess, who does, right? Anyway, this article, and some of your comments, is a ray of hope that everything should be okay and we can expect a little bundle of joy [God willing]. πŸ™‚

Ummm.... on

I wish her all the best (although I have NO idea who she is.)

But I am confused by a 25-year old who is pregnant for the 2nd time by a 2nd boyfriend talking about the importance of a “family-oriented environment”.

Rachel on

Lily, I was bleeding heavily with my first as well and was on strict bedrest for most of my pregnancy, and my baby is now turning three and she is extremely healthy and full of life! Just pray everyday, dream about that day you get to meet your baby…it will help you get through it day by day. I know the fear!
God has a plan and brought you this baby for a reason, even if it doesnt work out this time, it will happen one way or the other for you!

Jamie on

I got pregnant while I was taking the pill, so I know that there are exceptions to the rule. My daughter is almost 4 years old. I wouldn’t trade her for anything!!

Kris on

Lily, you are young and have lots of time. When youre in your 30s like me, and youre wanting to conceive, things can be a little more stressful. You have LOTS of time and, I know of several women who got pregnant immediately after stopping the pill.. there is nothing wrong with that and there is no reason to believe it is risky. They just tell women not to expect it to happen immediately. Best wishes to you Lily!

ecl on

I also find it curious that she’s discussing stable family life in her situation. Not because she isn’t married yet, but because I really don’t feel that they have been together long enough to know that they are right for one another. But I hope for everyone’s sake that they are. Also, while I completely understand why people are upset by early miscarriages, I am curious why they are now considered devastating. My grandmother says that they didn’t used to be a big deal since they are very common. Since they are still very common, why have they taken on such an import? Curious as to people’s thoughts…

Sarah on

@ Ummm…. at the time of her miscarriage, I believe she had been with her then b/f for a good while, but with the strain of losing the baby, they broke up. These things happen, and it doesn’t mean she is being incoherent in what she wishes for, in my mind.

CelebBabyLover on

Ummmm- She has alluded in interviews to the fact that the miscarriage was a major factor in her split with her first boyfriend (she even said something like, “Maybe we’d still be together if I hadn’t miscarried”). So perhaps if she HADN’T miscarried and HAD given birth to that baby, she and her boyfriend would have stayed together and would have had a stable family unit.

Or maybe after her first failed relationship, she’s vowed to make things work with her current boyfriend. πŸ™‚

ecl- I can’t really answer your question, but early miscarriages have been considered “devestating” for years. My mother had two early miscarriages, and she and my father were devestated by them……and the first one was nearly 30 years ago!

CelebBabyLover on

Sarah- Thank you! That’s exactly what I was trying to say!

sgv on

@ecl: I had an early miscarriage (9 weeks) and believe me, it is devastating! at least it was for me, I wanted to be a mom for the second time, we where so happy when I got pregnant, and at the first ultrasound…no heart beat. It was an awful experience, but I think if you don’t go through that then you don’t understand. Also I think is different between mom and dad, my husband was sad, but he said “ok we will try again” and kept going with his life, me….I was really sad and depressed, because is the woman who goes through all, fisical and emotional.
Anyway after 3 months of the miscarriage I got pregnant again and now we have a wonderful, beautiful and healthy 16 month old little girl πŸ™‚

Lisa on

I know people are “just saying” the reasons you should wait to become pg after the pill, but I’d like to say that I got pg immediately off the pill and had a beautiful baby. Let’s not make it sound like women aren’t paying attention just b/c they get pg right off the pill!
GL Lily Allen! (my youngest’s name is Lily!)

Katie on

Lily, I wish you all the very best.

@ecl – I suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks after ttc for 3 years, I appreciate that you are entitled to your own opinion but I dont think that your statement was particularly sensitive to those of us who were devastasted by the loss of a much wanted child.

Unfotunately we are still not expecting 15 months after our miscarriage and we’ve been through 2 cycles of IVF.

jessicad on

I agree with CelebBabyLover, as usual:)

I don’t think miscarriages are more devastating now, I think years ago women weren’t really supposed to talk about them and kept the pain private. Now with the internet and our society being so open I think women are more comfortable being honest and open about how painful they really are. I’ve never had a miscarriage but I do have 3 year old daughter who was a surprise, and from the moment I found out I was pregnant I loved that little thing inside of me more than anything in the world and would’ve been devastated had I lost her, even early.

I wish Lily the best, like she said this is something she has wanted for a long time and I think she’ll be a great mother!

Jenny on

@ecl…I also had a miscarriage in between my two healthy pregnancies, and I have to say it is devestating! I was in my 2nd trimester when it happened and you start to plan your future with another baby (or your 1st) and then bam! it doesnt happen. My mom also had a miscarriage and my grandma had more than one and they both said that it was devestating to them too only my grandma said back when she miscarried that everyone downplayed it and didnt really allow the mother to grieve, she said they were to busy trying to stay afloat (they were living on a privates salary) and that you just had to pick up and go on 😦

So its just different now, people actually allow you to stop and grieve. Hope that helps!

Megan on

Miscarriages are very common. But I think losing a baby, no matter how far along you are in your pregnancy, is devastating. My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarrage, my second resulted in a stillborn baby girl. Stillbirths are fairly common too, but it still is a tragic situation and hard to go through. Just because something is considered common doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t be affected by it.

Lou x on

Crystal: I wish you all the luck in the world, I’m sure your dreams will come true in good time, after everything you and your partner have been through, you deserve it xxx

On the subject of Lily, I think her and her music are great, and wish her all the best. In the UK the tabloids are reporting she is having a boy (prob a complete stab in the dark!), either way i cant wait to see a mini-Lily, and see how motherhood changes her, as it has been fairly obvious her behaviour the last 2 years has been as a result of grief for the baby she lost.

I have never suffered a miscarriage and hope to god i never do, however i can totally understand it being a hugely devastating experience. it is not only a foetus, it is what would have been a baby, the beginning of a family, and what most women dream about for most of their adult lives until it becomes a reality. To conceive then lose that dream must be one of the worst things a woman can go through, so anyone that has lost a baby has by empathy, 100%. i find those who dismiss the feelings of a woman who has lost a baby totally heartless and makes me wonder what kind of a person can disregard human life so easily.

Amanda on

ecl.. obviously you have never been through the Devastating loss of a child that you are carrying. I have suffered 3 of them, and after hearing your childs heartbeat, and then to find it gone a week later it is truly devastating. Maybe the reason that they didn’t hear about it in your grandma’s time is because they didn’t talk about it as much. They also didn’t have blogs and internet on which to discuss it, so if it didn’t happen to them or someone close, they wouldn’t have had any idea that it happened.

Best of Luck to Lily Allen and her boyfriend.

Ummm.... on

My bff lost a baby at 20 weeks (and is still married — because it’s a commitment).

Having myself been married for a good while (with 4 kids, one of whom w/ a severe disability) I can assure her that there is PLENTY of stress that happens in this life. If you and your bf break up over an early m/c, that tells you something. May that m/c be the worst thing that ever happens to her.

Jacqui on

ecl, I guess it all depends on the person and how you deal with things and your mindset as opposed to being different “these days.” Like your grandmother, when I had a very early miscarriage it was NOT devastating at all to me, just disappointing. However, I am quite sure that if I had been far along it would have been horrible. Also, I was not feeling desperate to have another child. I think when you are very, very sure you want to be pregnant more than anything and you suffer a miscarriage – especially if it is repeated and you have no other children – then it’s just awful.

michelle on

I saw Lily Allen perform in Feb 2007, and on stage she made a comment implying she was pregnant, something like, after she said she was drunk and the crowd cheered, she said, “What’s the matter with you, you shouldn’t encourage a pregnant woman to drink.” Assuming she wasn’t lying about being pregnant, that means by the time she was 23 she had had 2 miscarriages. Causes me to pause. Look, it’s wonderful her pregnancy is progressing, and if she wants a baby so much, all power to her. But Britney Spears reeeeeaally wanted a baby, and it seems she wasn’t able to handle the responsibility, at least at first. So instead of celebrating these starlets (and actually, this isn’t just a “selfish celebrity” problem) getting the babies they so desperately want, maybe we should encourage these young women (and women everywhere) to deal with the underlying psychological issues that are causing them to seek love and validation through having children.

Erika on

I agree that miscarriage was just as devestating years ago. It just wasn’t spoken about as much 20+ years ago. Also, back when our grandmothers were pregnant, when a woman had a miscarriage, she may not have even known about it or known she was pregnant. She could suspect pregnancy, but early pregnancy tests were not as accurate or to be taken as early. There also were no ultrasounds so it was harder to hear the heatbeat and women did not see the baby. Many just thought an early miscarriage was a heavy period.

Congrats to Lily, I hope she will find happiness with this new baby. When she had a miscarriage, I didn’t think she was cut out to be a mother but she seems to have grown up a lot. I may not like some of her music (I don’t think I could really ever like a song called ‘F*** you’) but I still wish her the best.

Karen on

Good for you choosing kids over your career! Kids grow up quickly. You can always go back to work when they’re grown.

andreafaythe on

i’ve always been a fan of lily allen. she has clearly remained grounded. i admire her decision to fade from fame and into parenthood.

Cici on

In ecl’s defense, many young women get the impression that a baby isn’t really a baby until you can feel it kicking or till you’re showing. Most of my friends have had abortions in the first trimester and they don’t think of it as a child so they don’t view those first few months the same as the rest of the pregnancy. Early miscarriages are what ecl seemed to be asking about, not miscarriages altogether.

For me, it is strange to have a friend who has an abortion at three months then a miscarriage at three months and I’m supposed to be cool with one and sad for her about the other. Still I’ve only known one woman to NOT be sad about a miscarriage and she didn’t really want the baby anyway. Unless the pregnancy is unwanted to begin with then I think it’s actually normal to be bummed even if you’re only a month in. Maybe ecl’s mom is just less emotional than normal women so ecl’s world view is skewed by that and that’s why she doesn’t get the drama behind an early miscarriage?

Karen on

I don’t think I could ever be “cool” with a baby either being burned alive with saline or suctioned out of the womb in pieces, cici. The death of a baby is always sad.

ann lisa on

Frankly, I think Lily Allen should confine her medical condition to a health or medical publication. It really is TMI for a general magazine. And who would want to share such intimate details with the world?

Donna on

I had the same problems from about week 8 until I passed 13 weeks, and I was off the pill at least 4 months before even trying, and got pregnant the first month. I had heavy bleeding and cramping, and ultra sounds about once a week to be sure the baby was still there, and this happened with both babies almost 4 years apart. Both were born very healthy with no further problems, and the Dr’s could never figure out what caused these symptoms, just the way my body handled it is what I have come to accept. Good luck to you Lilly, hope all turns out the same for you

Marisela on

Ann Lisa, perhaps you are overly sensative regarding things you read but I, in no way, see her statements as being TMI. Many women suffer miscarriages and deal with difficult pregnancies so it shouldn’t be a shock when someone publicy discusses her experience. If, later, she tells a reporter the sexual position she was in when her child was conceived, then you’d have room to complain.

CelebBabyLover on

UMMMMMMM- Actually, the death of a child, even a miscarriage, often tears couples apart. In fact, most people say that an experience like that “Either draws you together or tears you apart”.

CelebBabyLover on

Also, ummmm, having a child with a disability also often tears couples apart. You and your husband are very fortunate. πŸ™‚

sgv on

“For me, it is strange to have a friend who has an abortion at three months then a miscarriage at three months and I’m supposed to be cool with one and sad for her about the other”

Cici I hope you are really young and inmature because your comment is not right at all….how can you be “cool” with abortion? you can accept, or not disagree…but “cool”? abortion is the same of miscarriage…is always about loosing a child, and I do think that as soon as your baby has a heart beat IS a human being and your child, so abortion is killing your baby. And before I recieve atacks from the “pro abortion” people, I’m not religious, don’t believe in god, so is not about religion, is about being a mother who loves her children and can’t stand the idea of killing one…You can always choose adoption if you don’t want your child. There a a lot of women waiting to adopt a child, for me it is sooo selfish to think “well I don’t want to become a mother, so I kill the baby”…awful, just awful.
Just my opinion.

Rhonda on

The new ACOG says that you no longer have to wait, that has been a long time wifes tale. I have 11 miscarriages, due to genetic difficulties and my late age of waiting to have a child- but I have my 1 son. If you have a healthy uterus,have had genetic testing that says you are able to carry a baby there is now no reason to wait. I know people who have gone from miscarriage to baby within 1 month with no complications. Do a search on MSNBC- and you will find the story that they just did last week.

gdfg on

sgv, I think you misread Cici’s comment . . . no where in there did she say she was cool with abortion, she said her friends expected her to be cool with their abortions and upset at their miscarriages, something she did not understand. Please try and read people’s comments a little more carefully before attacking them!

sgv on

@ gdfg:

English is not my language, so maybe I didn’t understand Cici’s point of view.., if she meant what you say, then I apologize.

fuzibuni on

If you go back and read ecl’s comment, she is simply stating a curious observation. Some people might have taken her comment the wrong way. She’s just noticing that there seems to be an increase in women mourning early miscarriages.

This might be happening because women are finding out pregnancy results earlier than in the past. There are now over-the-counter tests than can give results nearly a week before your expected cycle. Since most miscarriages are in the first couple weeks of pregnancy this might account for the increased awareness.

CelebBabyLover on

fuzibuni- Exactly! As another poster pointed out, when our grandmothers were having children, most women who had early miscarriages weren’t even aware they were pregnant, and just thought they were having a heavier than normal period. And that was due to the fact that there weren’t very many (if any) home pregnancy tests available back then, and the ones that WERE avaliable were often not very accurate (and even the most accurate ones still couldn’t detect pregnancy as early as today’s pregnancy tests can!).

I also think the poster who mentioned that perhaps miscarriages didn’t seem to be such a big deal when our grandmothers were having babies is because that just wasn’t something you discussed back then. I know my grandmother has told me that, when she was a young adult, you didn’t even discuss things like with your own mother…..let alone anybody else!

It was even considered very taboo to discuss things like periods back then!

Daisy! on

Michelle, I think the 2007 comments were more a tounge in cheek reaction to press speculation. As Lily’s weight has been up and down over the years there have been lots of stories about her being pregnant when she hasn’t been.

I am really pleased for her and her partner, and I know she will be a great mother.