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Crystal Bowersox: Balancing Motherhood and Music Is Hard

07/11/2010 at 05:00 PM ET
Winslow/Massie/Splash News Online

American Idol runner-up Crystal Bowersox has seemingly mastered motherhood by day, musician by night, but now that she’s heading out on tour, the singer is preparing herself for a new routine — without her 17-month-old son Tony by her side.

“People don’t realize that before Idol, I gigged a lot. I used to play four one-hour shows a night, five nights a week in Chicago and Ohio,” Bowersox, 24, tells PARADE.

“But on the Idol tour, I’m just doing four songs a show. The traveling is going to be the hard part. Also, the fact that my son’s not coming with me.”

Fortunately, Bowersox’s family has stepped up to the plate when it comes to caring for her toddler while she’s away.

“My son will be with family and friends. No matter where he is, he’ll be well taken care of and loved,” she insists.

“And his Mama’s gonna miss the crap out of him! But I’ll get to see him for little bits here and there.”

And although, at times, they’ll be hundreds of miles apart, thanks to modern-day technology, the mother-son pair will always be in contact!

“I just discovered Skype! So, he and I will definitely be Skyping!” Bowersox reveals. “Tony is getting the hang of how to use the phone. He can’t have a full conversation yet, but he knows it’s Mama.”

As for Tony following in her footsteps, Bowersox admits she wouldn’t be against the idea of her son joining her in the music industry. After all, she notes, he has been hearing music since the womb.

“I played gigs up until he was born. I had to put my guitar off to the side a little bit because my belly was too big to have my guitar hanging in front of me,” she says, adding that the music world is all Tony — whose favorite toys include a keyboard and baby bongos — knows.

“Besides, music is good for cognitive development. Tony’s advanced — I think that every mom says that about their kids. But, really, Tony’s a very social little guy. He says ‘hi’ to everyone he meets.”

– Anya Leon

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Showing 73 comments

torgster on

How long till all the haters start with the comments about her being a neglectful mom for leaving him to tour? Happy independent little guy I’d say, as opposed to him hanging on her every second with a soother in his mouth until he’s three! Good for you Crystal – hope your career kicks into high gear as you sure have the talent and should have won AI!

brannon on

Can’t imagine leaving my son for long periods of time. (I know, I know…military, etc.) but still…for whatever reason, it must be incredibly difficult. I wish her well.

Janna on

I think that, unless he is being left in his father’s care, I can respectfully disagree with her decision to leave her 17-month old baby and go on tour.

Kay on

Best of luck to Crystal, I’m sure it will be very tough for her! In the end it will help her to provide a better life for little Tony though. On an only vaguely related note, I wonder if Tony was a preemie- whenever they showed him in clips on AI, I always thought he looked like such a thin little guy. Looks a lot like my nephew, who was a preemie.

Sam on

I agree Janna!

Anna on

torgster, why are people that disagree with leaving a 17 month old while going on tour haters? It’s just an opinion you know.

I personally don’t understand how she can. Especially since her son isn’t staying with his father either. 17 months old is very young to be left by the person you have the most of a connection with for a long period of time.

Brooke on

I agree – Get a nanny to come with or don’t go.

And when all is said and done, they have not been able to give the tickets away for this tour apparently, so breach of contract be damned.

D on

She needs to be home with her son, and take care of him. These are precious years with him, that she will never get back. I think she’s putting her career before her son. I don’t agree.

Helene on

I also don’t understand how you could go on this tour without your child. Have your family member go with you or don’t go at all. When you become a parent there are choices you make in life. If he was staying with his father, I would feel differently.

I don’t watch American Idol, so I don’t understand. How did she just discover Skype? Why wasn’t she using this while she was on the show to stay in touch with him or was she with him everyday?

Crystal on

We have no idea why she isn’t taking Tony with her on tour. Maybe Idol told her she couldn’t bring him. Why does it matter who she leaves the baby with? As long as he is well taken care of and loved…..who cares?!?!?! Do you really think at 17 months old Tony will feel abandoned by his mother? Will he remember this at 12 and resent her??? NO! He’s a baby. Fantasia did it. Bo Bice and other dads did it. GET OVER YOURSELVES!!! She is trying to make a better life for herself and her son. I admire and respect her. Ugh!

Lee on

And why does anyone have the right to decide how a mother raises her child? How about being more concerned for your own kids but of course that would involve common sense which some like D lack

Helene on

Lee, this is a blog and we are allowed to comment and say what we want. You never comment on the post itself. Rather you comment on what we as posters say. Why do you even come here?

Sam on

I wouldn’t and didn’t leave my baby to do anything for longer then a day so not understanding how you go for long periods of time. Leaving him with ‘family and friends’ might suggest that he is going to go from one home to another, to another…., where there are many different schedules. Who is his father, anyone know? I don’t watch American Idol either.

LittleMo on

I can’t believe the tunnel vision I’m reading about Crystal going on tour. She didn’t just decide to take an extended vacation and leave her child behind. She is an entertainer and touring is part of the job, just as it was on a smaller scale before she tried out for Idol. These contestants are obligated to some of this stuff when the sign up for the show so, even as the runner-up, she may be contractually obligated to this. What you people are saying is that anyone in the recording industry who tours doesn’t love their kids and that’s a load of BS. Remember all the news about Bret Michaels? Singers, rock-n-rollers, entertainers in general love their children just like anyone else does. The travel is part of the job, just like it would be for a pilot, steward/stewardess, long-distance truck driver, etc.

As for the comment that the only person little Tony should be left with is his father, anyone who actually believes that being a biologic parent is a guarantee of being the best guardian is a few fries short of a happy meal, no bulb in the socket, no feathers on the bird, etc., etc., etc. Remember Sustan Smith? Andrea Yates? the husband in Massachusettes who shot his whole family?

Crystal is not doing anything wrong at all.

Molly on

Military parents can be away for years at a time. No one calls them neglectful. The little dude will be fine. He’s clearly well-adjusted and happy if he’s okay with being cared for by other members of his family.

I don’t even know who the heck this girl is, but if she’s from AI she’s probably locked into a ton of contracts.

Helene on

In my opinion, you can not compare going on American Idol with being in the Military. There is no comparison at all.

Littlemo, how could you even bring up Susan Smith? Do you really think that is what is meant? Makes no sense.

Personally, if I had a child and wanted to audition for AI, I would have the end in mind and be sure it was something I could handle (going on tour). If it was not, then I would never go on the show. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about the contracts.

Crystal on

Well Helene, Crystal decided to do the show and I’m sure she is happy she did. She was 1st runner up and is not living out her dreams of being a musician. She is a good mom and her parenting should not be judged due to her “contractual responsibilities.”

Kate on

To Crystal: It is true that when Tony is 12 years old he will not “Momma, I remember that you left me alone when I wasn’t even 2 years old”, he probably won’t remember that in a way he can voice it when he’s older. The thing is, though, that even little kids realize when their parent is away if they’ve been around them most of the time before. If Crystal Bowersox does not take Tony with her and leaves him with someone else it’s very much possible that he’s happy about being with the grandparents or people he has been with before. But still Tony will realize that his mother is gone and connect that with a negative feeling. I’m NOT saying that Tony will be a case for a therapist later in his life just because his mother went on tour without him but it will have some sort of impact on his life.

To the whole Skype thing: I hope Crystal Bowersox doesn’t expect Tony to be overly happy when they talk or see each other over Skype or webcams. He’ll probably wonder “why’s mommy in the computer”. He needs her physically there so he can reach out and really get her. I think it’s sad she’s not taking him with her and I hope little Tony will deal with the experience well.

sat on

jeez, she’s trying to make a better life for her child. she just can’t win ;(

tyannah on

Pffff…people are SO perfect mothers here…
She is not letting him alone on a road…
He will be taken care of…
She is just doing her job…. You bring your child with you while you are working??????
The little guy would be better on a tour?? With all the moves? Noise?
Or should all musicians, singers and so on stop having children to be around them ALL THE TIME?
How do you know the little boy won’t stay at his home, in his bedroom and that people are not coming to take care of him at a plca he knows? This is what a friend of mind does. She is often away and at the beginning she took a nanny to come with her and the baby… The baby was always tired, she stays at a hotel one night only and then she goes elsewhere.. Then she decides to stop it, the baby stayed at home with the nanny, and family and friends come to take care of the baby when they were able. My friend calls several times a day and speaks to the baby each night, they put skype on and from the moment she is in her hotel bedroom she is with her baby, seeing her.. When my friend comes back the baby is so happy, never had any problem…
The then baby is now 5, is one of the happiest little girl around, always smiling, and still have the same way of living. On holidays she goes with her mommy in the towns she is working in and the mommy is back every Friday… The little girl is just so cute and always enjoys herself! She loves all the postcards of all the places where she’s been to..
My friend will have another job soon and the only one unhappy is the little girl…. She said she won’t be able to travel that much and discover things…
But if you perfect mothers have read my friend’s story you would criticize her for sure…not knowing her! Just like this woman!

halifaxhoney on

Personally I’d like to try to take him with me. Unless AI has something against it. She has to take care of her family. She is locked into contracts. The tour will end!

Shelly on

she should of hired a nanny to go with her and idol should pay for it since shes the runner up or take some of her winnings and do it, that is a long time to leave him plus its just the beginning there will be the record tour after that and appearances and flying all over the place

Noelle on

How come I never read this comments when there is an article about a father who goes on tour and is gone for a long time???

cecily on

If this was about a man who was leaving their child to go on tour, nobody would say a thing.

cecily on

I hate the attitude of so many moms on this site. It’s as though they revel in finding flaws in celebrity moms, so they can point out the ‘error’ of their ways whilst simultaneously fluffing their egos. It’s pathetic.

Anna on

Actually if this was about a father that was the primary caregiver I would feel exactly the same.

Why can’t some people accept that the comment section is to give our opinion on the articles? I am not saying she is a horrible mother or that he will be scarred for life, I’m just saying I don’t understand leaving your young child for more than 1 or maybe 2 days.

Contracts are choices, you make the choice to sign them. It’s not something that you have no control over. I also do not understand military parents that choose to have children and than leaving them for extended periods of time.

Ash on

I’m sure she doesn’t enjoy the thought of leaving her child behind, but she’s making a living! And she’s probably making very good money at that which means a better life for her little boy. She was probably struggling before like many musicians and starving artists do so I can’t fault her for following her dream. Personally, I don’t think I could turn down a huge salary that would guarantee a college education for my child, a roof over his head, stability, etc. if it meant only being away from him for a few months. I know people who joined the military for the same reason. It hurt them greatly to be away from their children, but they did it to provide a better life for their family (if you stay in the military long enough, it can result in a wonderful career).

Also, there are many reasons why she might not be allowed to take him on tour. The biggest reason I can think of is liability. Having children around could be a huge hazard, and the American Idol company might not want to take that risk. I can’t say I blame them. You have to remember, Crystal is not the one in charge here. It’s not like other solo artists who basically run their own show and make their own rules. This is her job and as she’s currently employed by American Idol, she has to follow their rules.

Helene on

I would had said the same thing if this was a guy. I feel the same way when anyone from AI goes on tour.

This is my opinion and how I feel. While she may be making a better life for him, these are all about choices. I am not saying she shouldn’t be going….he should be with her. If it is not possible, then she should not. Am I perfect mother, no. I don’t work, so I don’t bring my baby with me, but if I did work, I come home every night, so you can’t even compare that. And if he went on tour with her, why would it be loud? I would think he would be staying away from the music and see her when she is not performing.

tarat on

Anyone who knows anything about Crystal knows that the father isn’t in the picture. She has continually said that she went through the AI process to make a better life for her child and this is one of the consequences of making that life. She clearly says that she will see him off and on throughout the tour and that he will be with the people he loves and is used to seeing every day.

Now I remember why I hesitate to have children right now. All of the attitudes towards working mothers!

Fifi on

My daughter is 15-months old, and I could never leave her that long. Of course, I’ve never left her longer than overnight, while we’re both asleep. I couldn’t imagine being away that long, it’ll be rough for both of them, but it is her career, and I wish her the best!

hayley on

hmmmm here comes the stay at thing home vs working alllll over again………….

there was once a time when women didn’t have the chance to go out and work, vote even abuse wasn’t taken as a serious issue, we were to get married, have babies and thats it, and now we have more rights that we would dream to be ture, things other women and mums faught for and yet when a mum exercises that right to work rather than the chauvinistic, sexist ‘men’ slateing a women thats is also a mum going out to work its aother women…worse still other mums …its madness how about just take a step off and support this women who is providing for her child, its more that some others do an she should be proud of herself for doing what it takes to make the money to pay her way…….

women can be what ever they want to b and being a mother is not who you are it helps define you. How ever just because your a mum doesn’t mean your life stop nd ends with your children, you can work ectand still raise healthy happy kids, we have been doing it or years…………. :) good luck to her xxxxxxxxx i am betting that little boy is proud of his mama xxxxxxx

lulu on

People the woman is trying to make living for her child…. are any of you going to support her and her child if needed.. not everything is black and white …

D on

@Lee-I don’t feel that anyone is making decisions for Chrystal. We are stating our opinion of the choices that she is making. This child is a toddler and she’s putting AI before him. She’s a young single mother, and I have no doubt in my mind that she loves that little boy, more than her own life. However, she’s leaving him behind to pursue her career. He is not being raised by his mom, but by family members. This is not fair to him at all. She should be home with him and not out touring. If AI said that she couldn’t bring him along, I would have said, well to hell with you guys, my son is more important. I don’t know all the details, but it sounds like AI has taken center stage for her. JMO!

Heather on

I personally would not be able to leave my child for that long. But, that doesn’t mean I’m saying she’s wrong for doing it. I’m sure this is not an easy choice for her, I’m sure she struggled with it and it tears her up. But she knows that it’s short term pain for long term gain for her son. This short term pain can provide the opportunity for him to college, to have a better future. We’ve all had to make tough choices and while it’s not the same choice, we’ve been there. We should be offering support to other parents rather than judgment. She is a single parent, I am willing to bet that she struggled financially and struggled to provide for his needs. She’s now found a way to do so. I know the early months are critical, I know that. But he has that foundation of love from his Mom, that security. The older years matter too and she’s setting that up nicely for him. I don’t mean to imply money is everything, it’s not. I’m the furthest from a materialistic person. But if she knows she can put a roof over his head, food in his belly, pay for him to go to a good school, college etc.. well that I’m sure is her motivator.

Leslie Gorga on

I find it interesting that some people think she should “just hire a nanny.” Everyone is making assumptions that (A) kids ARE allowed on the tour and that (B) she’s got enough money to hire one. Just because she was in American Idol doesn’t mean she can afford to hire a nanny. There have been lots of people on that show, and not all of them can call themselves successful or rich. This isn’t HER tour, so I doubt she can make all if these special requests. Haven’t there been lots of men who made it pretty far along in the competition, who have kids too? They didn’t bring them along, and no one ever lambasted them for leaving their kids alone. Besides, the tour only lasts a few months. She won’t be leaving him fore. And for those parents who say they can’t leave their kids and could never dream of leaving their kids…have you ever HAD to? She does.

Soxpuppet on

Kids are not allowed on the tour. She visits him every opportunity and he visits her as well. The tour ends in August.

I assume since the boys name is Tony and the boyfriend who wouldn’t “man up” and dumped her the morning of the Idol final contest performances is also Tony that he might be the dad. He just wanted to be a small town guy and couldn’t handle that she had bigger dreams for her and child and left. She did say he’s in the boys life so maybe that’s the family she’s talking of, or her own dad.

It’s sad that she has to leave her son at all but it’s a short term thing. She tweeted this morning she wasn’t available for autographs in Philly because she was spending time with her son.

J. May on

@Janna You ever left your children with family? Mother, brother, father, sister, aunt, uncle, whatever? Her child’s baby daddy is gone, gone, gone. I think she can be excused for choosing to leave her baby with extended family. So, don’t worry about it, m’kay?

Just Me on

American Idol has never let the contestants bring their kids on a tour. Crystal is not the first mom to go. Bringing Tony is not an option.

The child’s father lives overseas. I don’t think he’s been around since the kid was a baby. Her son lived with her during the show.

Before Idol she’d been living with/near her dad. I suspect that’s who her son will be with for the 3 months she’s on tour. Its not like kids automatically know who their biological parents are anyway. If he is with people he’s known all his life who have loved and cared for him he will be fine.

Everyone is entitled to post their opinion, and people are entitled to post theirs back. I never get it when people bristle at being disagreed with on message boards.

Creek on

@Helene –who is taking care of your kid while you are so busy on the computer criticizing other mothers ability in raising their own kids? Geez, woman, you are such a know-it-all! You are talking as if you have witnessed how Crystal Bowersox is raising her son. You are talking as if you know what will her son become when he grows up. We are all spectators here just reading articles on celebrities’ lives. We dont know shit about their REAL lives! As far as my reading goes, Crystal Bowersox have begged for insulin outside pharmacies because she has Type1 diabetes. And she promised herself her son will never undergo those kind of hardships and she will use her capabilities to give her son a better life in this world. And if it means leaving her son for SIX MONTHS to complete her contract for AI, then she will do it! It’s all about making sacrifices, folks!

Doris on

I think Crystal has an awesome opportunity to make a better life for her son. This is just a stepping stone to get there and I am proud for her. She could be sitting at home everyday letting others foot the bill for raising her son. I admire her for having dreams, and following through with them.

Electra on

You guys do realize that most of these celebrities are singers, actresses and athletes right??? Most of them leave their children for long periods of time too. Many of work for 18 hour days and don’t see their children at all. I don’t see why we’re picking on this new artist who is doing the poo work so she can get where she needs to go. Most likely this girl will fade into obscurity just like 98% of the other American Idols. At least shes doing what she can to make a living for her child, while she can.

Helene on

Creek,
I am entitled to my opinion and do not have to answer to you as to the whereabouts for my children, but I am an amazing mother and will always put my children first. I could never leave my child for 6 months to go anywhere. That is my opinion and I am not going to change it.

Asha on

How long is the tour? I can’t see it lasting a long time, what 3-6 months? I’m an advocate for stay home with your kids BUT during that small sliver of his life, to be able to make some good money to help care for him (isn’t she a single mom now?) I think would be something I wouldn’t pass up. Besides, isn’t she under contract? She doesn’t have a choice in the matter.

ajile on

U go crystal.. Its a big sacrifice to leave ur kid behind.. And we know how much u love him. Go live the dream u have for urself and for ltlle tony and as always god bless u sunflower sunshine and little T as well.. sure when he grows up he will be so proud of the sacrifices u made and the road u walked for him.. U r an awesome mother !!good luck..

ariel on

Asha – Its only a 3 month tour.

As some other posters have pointed out. AI/19 Entertainment doesn’t allow contestants to bring there children/family on the tour with them (unless the contestant is under 18, then they need a guardian) they can visit, but that’s it. So if she wants to participate & make a better life for her and Tony, like she has said, she doesn’t really have a choice.

…So I guess this make Crystal a neglectful mother. Andrew Garcia a neglectful father & any other AI contestant a neglectful parent. *SIGH I miss the old CBB

fuzibuni on

This is a very sensitive subject… people get rather defensive whenever this topic is raised because many mothers travel to make a living and feel forced to leave their children in day care or with family members so they can work. We don’t want to believe that this could impact our babies adversely.

However, throughout history most children have had their mothers as their primary caregivers. Now that this is changing there have been many studies that show how critical the mother child bond is on early development… especially in the first two years.

Close contact with the mother is imperative for strong attachment, intimate relationships with others, and optimal nervous system development. The brain chemistry of children who have been without their mothers is even different than those who have had consistent contact for the first few years.

While many of these studies have been focused on babies who essentially had no contact with their mothers, the facts still apply to this situation with Ms. Browersox. And unfortunately, feminism aside, the presence of a father, while important, is not as strong in infancy as the mother child bond.

In the case of little Tony, I imagine that he has acclimatized to her being gone since she has been on AI from the time he was born. He has most likely compensated for her absence and made attachments to his primary caregiver that attempt to fill her role. Most likely he appears as a happy normal child.

However, the basic biology of childhood development relies on an active and present mother and the long term consequences for children who’s mothers are largely absent are real… babies need their mommies.

Unfortunately modern life does not support this necessity and more and more women are put in the position of leaving their babies with others. And as long as our society continues to believe this is okay, we will continue to see the ramifications on our children and society at large.

I believe that the AI producers should have given Crystal an option for bringing Tony on the tour and allowed for her to have a babysitter or family member on set while she is singing. Even though the environment and constant changes would be hard for the little guy, it would be better than being separated from his mommy for extended periods of time.

Sam on

I’m glad people here can have their own opinions. That is exactly true. And no one has to answer to anyone, hmmmm!!

I would never leave my baby alone for that long, but there ARE mothers who do. Those babies have turned out to be perfectly wonderful responsible adults. There are many mothers that are constantly with their babies, yet they have grown up to be ‘in trouble’ in one way or another. Much goes in to raising a child and will determine the outcome.

“Quality, not quantity’?

ashleighh1234 on

sometimes leaving a baby to work is the best option. at the end of the day she is doing what gets her the money to be able to support her son.

i am a working mom myself. i admit that i did have my first child at 17 but only 3 months after his birth i went and finished my senior year. i hated every moment of being separated from him but i needed to do it so that he and his future siblings.

i am now a mother of four happy, healthy babies, the youngest is six weeks and i do plan to go back to work as soon as possible. i am a first year resident in a hospital and so even though as a doctor i sometimes have horrendous hours i still need to work to pay the bills.

just because Krystal wants to leave her son for a month does not make her a neglectful mother. it makes her a mother who is doing what is best for her baby and at the end of the day if the child is healthy then so be it.

Just Me on

@fuzibuni

She hasn’t been on Idol since the baby was born. The child was around a year or so (?) when she started the show, and lived with her during a big chunk of the competition.

There have been no credible studies that babies need their mothers. There have been studies that show babies who do not bond to a caregiver early suffer. But no study says that caregiver HAS to be the biological mother. Or else, adopted children would be psychopaths and such, right?

There were many societies where children were not cared for by mothers, but by extended family. That is a myth that mothers always cared for children exclusively. In fact, there were some societies where designated women looked after the kids together during the day, kind of like daycare. This happened a lot in migrant farming/hunting-type communities.

Personally, I think what the research points to is that children need to be cared for by loving but firm adults in a stable environment, and that exposure to healthy relationships of all kinds and role models of both genders is best. People can achieve that in many configurations.

Oh, and the tour is 3 months, not 6.

tammy on

What is right what is wrong…I think every mum wants to do their best for their kids..Do u think crystal will want to leave tony with her close relatives..if she can of course she will bring him along..When u hv a kid and hv no money what will a mum do…Sometimes in life we have to choose to sacrifice in order to get a better life…every mum wants to do the right thing for their kids…kids is their life…I was raised by my granny where my mum have to worked everyday to make a living..when u are poor u just do what ever it needed..I was taken care and love so those tony..well b4 anyone comments try living without money…and judge it urself…

Janna on

J. May — No, I never left my toddler with anyone for months at a time.

What’s your point?

Marcus on

Oh, please. It’s not like Crystal abandoned her son in a dumpster for the summer. He’s mostly with his grandfather, according to a couple of interviews. Who here ever spent a summer with their grandparents?

Two of the other performers on this tour also left behind young children, but they’re both men so I guess it doesn’t count? These people are all doing what’s best for their kids, earning a living. It’s none of our business anyway – go raise your own kids, if you have them.

fuzibuni on

Just Me,

For the most part, I think we are in agreement… however I should clarify a couple things:

My original comments were specifically focused on the first two years of life for babies. While hunter gatherer societies did share care of children, the norm was that biological mothers were the primary source of food and comfort in infancy.

Also, in no way am I suggesting that children who experience separation from their mothers will become psychopaths. However, it has been shown that early separation can affect a child’s future relationship patterns and ability to handle stress, among many other things.

There have been many studies on attachment and adoption. While it is very possible to lessen the impact of separation from the mother (by early adoption and the influence of a very attentive primary caregiver), it has been shown that adoptive children do struggle more than biologically raised children with issues relating to reactive attachment disorder.

And you are correct, the impact of maternal separation can be lessened by the presence of a consistent primary caregiver who is not the biological mother… however, this alters the original attachment bond and the child begins to look toward the new caregiver for support and comfort rather than the mother.

The impact of losing the original mother child bond does have an impact… which manifests itself in different ways depending on the child’s temperament and physiology.

and regarding the amount of time that Ms. Bowersox has been on AI… don’t the initial tryouts and interview processes begin far before the actual season? I was under the assumption that she began her involvement with AI back in mid 2009, but perhaps I was mistaken about that.

Regardless, it is definitely possible to lessen the loss of a mother for an infant, but it is still a significant impact on a baby… they don’t know the difference between being abandoned vs. their mothers just having to go away for a few months.

And while Crystal is ‘only’ gone for 3 months, it sounds from the interview that little Tony is going to be cared for by a number of different “family and friends.” This leads me to believe that he might benefit from being with his mommy on tour rather in the care of others.

fuzibuni on

Lee, I work with children who are born with hearing and speech delays. I studied early childhood development for my degree. Today is my day off. This issue is something I care about so I wanted to put my two cents in. Feel free to disagree or ignore my comments if you like.

Creek on

We are still on the topic of Crystal Bowersox leaving her kid while she is on tour, right? Click the link below and watch Crystal “working” with little Tony on hand. And he’s probably not even 6 months in this video. Now, what comments will we get from this video? That Crystal is exposing her child to an environment not suited for infants probably. Nothing this single mother can do without being criticized. I guess part of the celebrity territory! I say different strokes for different folks!

Electra on

ashleighh1234- 4 kids and a resident? Good going! Thats really something to be proud of.

tammy on

@janna…My point is trying living without money..No money at all and u have to raise a child and see what u need to do…She is not abandoned her tony…Tony is loved why ppl do not get it…Btw i have seen crystal at the GMA central park concert recently she is so nice and down to earth person…and u can tell she loves tony so much she will give her life for her…Well dont u think most mums will do the same…She is trying to do all the best she can for her tony…Get a grip ppl…

Bancie1031 on

I personally wouldn’t be able to leave my child for that long (and she’s almost 10 now!) but hey I know that it will be hard for Crystal but if she can do it to better her career than more power to her, she’s a stronger person than I am :D

babs on

For all you Helen’s and Ana’s Jana’s. You’ve made your opinionated point very clear. You would rather see CB begging for insulin or maybe even food for her child for the rest of little T’s youthful years, then her leave him for a couple of months to completely abandon the begging problem that might of plagued her for the next decade and a half. Got your point LOUD and CLEAR. Now stop being a troll and provoking arguments and just let this beautiful incredibly talented young artist make a better life for her and her little guy. Remember, until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes you don’t know what you might be reluctant to do to make a better living for your family.

Helene on

Babs,
“You would rather see CB begging for insulin or maybe even food for her child for the rest of little T’s youthful years, then her leave him for a couple of months to completely abandon the begging problem that might of plagued her for the next decade and a half.”

Why would she have to beg for food if she didn’t go on tour? What if she never made it on American Idol? I am not a troll. I came on here and posting my opinion just like everybody else. For some reason, some of you feel the need to call me out on my opinion and for that I will respond.

Sam on

Good post ‘babs’! :)) hehehe

Creek on

@helene -The point is -I don’t think you even know who Crystal Bowersox is because if you do, you won’t make such comments like “why did she just discovered skype…?” Crystal grew up very poor in Ohio and did not have the luxuries of life such as “skype”. If you have been reading about her, you would also know that besides begging for insulin outside pharmacies, she would sing at train stations for milk money. In one interview, she was asked what her life was a year ago and she replied she was looking for a house with heat. If you knew all these, I dont think you would post your righteous opinion here and maybe just feel for this struggling single mother who just wants quality life for her son. I am sure it pains Crystal to leave her Tony behind while she WORKS, but again, it’s all about sacrifices, Helene! Some people are born privileged and some are not.

Anonymous on

I agree with Tammy
Some of the ladies here must not have experienced having to work for your child in order to provide a better life for them.
Sometimes people don’t have the luxury of deciding whether or not to leave their children with relatives.
I admire CB greatly and am sad that she didn’t win :-(

Helene on

Creek,
If you read you would see I said I don’t watch the show, I asked how she didn’t know about skype before bc I didn’t know bc I know nothing about her. I do feel bad for her and her lack of funds. I am not going to continue this bc I have so many other things I can add that will only piss some people off and I don’t have the energy for it. With all of that being said, that still doesn’t change my opinion.

Carol on

I’ve just this year discovered Skype…I’ve been connected to the internet for years. Had always heard about it but never used it. Discovered it this year while my husband has to live in another state to work. He has left our kids and me and we do just fine–and I work as well. We skype, talk on the phone nightly, and see each other every few weeks. Our kids-age 3 and 9-are just fine. Of course they miss him, but we have explained it’s what we have to do for the time being. Crystal is just doing what she feels is right for her. What is right for her may not be right for someone else. But, I really don’t see it as being neglectful.

Sam on

(Hmmmmm, imagine that!!!)

I didn’t know all that about this young lady either. She’s come a long way to be able to take care of herself with her special talent. I wish her and her little boy all good things with each other!!

tammy on

One thing about us women always fighting against each other why not try to support us..The pioneer women who has fought so much for our rights to vote, be able to work and to stop the abusive relationship.. My point is try support each other as a woman than against each other…you will see a much better world than fighting..Have peace to u all…

Crystal on

@Helene-I’m glad that you have decided not to continue your close minded views of how someone else raises “THEIR” child. I have choice words for your opinions but I am tired and I don’t want to get further into this pointless conversation (or lack there of).

Helene on

Crystal,
My opinions are so far from closed minded. You know nothing about me. I am not going to hold back my opinion or change it because you or someone else doesn’t like it!

Sam on

Crystal, good posts! It’s a tough one for sure. I wouldn’t and didn’t leave my child at that young age but I do not know what is best for this family. Obviously CB does and that’s what she’s doing. What is best for her and her family.

MiB on

My mother left me with family members (my grandmother and an aunt) for three months when I was just 2, and people always marvel at what a close bond me and my mother have. My dad was working abroad at that time and my mother got a job at a theatre on a world tour. Had she been able to afford to employ a nanny and take me/us with her, then she wouldn’t have had to take the job either. And this was before the era of skype and video conferences, and international phone calls were expensive. She called me a couple of times a week (gasp! not even every day!) and made sure to send me a post card from every destination. Chrystal Bowersox is a single mother and she needs to provide for her son in some way (I don’t think anyone here would have been happier if she had had live on the streets or working two or three jobs to provide for him). If AI turns out to be her big breakthrough it will mean a better life for both of them. Otherwise she will go back to playing four 1 hour gigs five nights a week and hope that the gigs keep coming.

I am still very close to my aunt and cousins and I was very, very close to my grandmother while she still lived. I think that is the only way my mothers three month tour affected me in the long run. I am sure that her son stays with family members he already knew very well (after all, someone must have watched him while Chrystal was performing already before she entered AI) and that he will fare well. Hopefully he will develop a strong bond with his grandfather (I think it was?) and what bad could possibly come out of that? The more strong bonds a child forms with loving adults, the better I’d say!

MiB on

I forgot to say that every family has to do whats best for them in any given situation, there are no solutions that works for everyone. My mothers family is very close knit family, but they actually hardly ever lived together. My mother was born in Germany towards the end of the second world war while her mother and older sisters where evacuated. After the war, my grandmother had to work in another town and she did what generations of mothers have done before her, she left her children with different relatives.

Fact is, historically most children were not (as popular belief will have it) with their mothers during the day but with their grandmothers or older siblings while their parents worked. Yes, the farmers brought their children out to the fields during sowing and harvest because all work force (including old people and children) was needed. Nomads bring their children with them when they tend to their animals. But outside of the farming community, most working people (and they were the majority) could not bring their children to work, neither could they stop working. The rich weren’t much better as they left their children with wet nurses, nurses, nannies and teachers for the majority of the time. Even those mothers who were at home left their children in the care of grandparents and siblings during big parts of the day, since, if they were not working from home as seamstresses, doing laundry for others or something else, they had to work hard in the household, which was very labour intensive (there are so many things they had to do by hand, that we nowadays can do with the push of a button).

The concept of housewives and stay at home mothers who actually have the time to spend with their children (and the will to do it) is really a very new one, the ideas started to spread during the 19th century, but only became wide spread with the growing middle class during the 20th century, particularly during the second half of the 20th century. Yes, we may know better now, but don’t say that that is how it is always been done.

maddie on

don’t hate her because of that decision because it’s a good one. she needs to make money to support her son. it’s a good choice and they still see each other.

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