Sarah McLachlan Reveals ‘One Small Benefit’ of Separation

George Pimentel/WireImage

After a seven year hiatus from the recording studio, Sarah McLachlan is back with Laws of Illusion — and a new tour to boot, in Lilith Fair 2010.

The singer/songwriter, 42, cites a complicated family life as “the reason it takes so damn long” to make music, noting that her father suffers from Parkinson’s Disease and her marriage to drummer Ashwin Sood recently collapsed.

“[My life is] terribly pedestrian,” McLachlan confesses to the Los Angeles Times. “There’s nothing special about it.”

“Half the bloody world is going through a divorce, more than that are having children,” she goes on to note. “All of us have parents who are dying, or have died. It’s just the life cycle.”

Regarding Sood, McLachlan admits that “there are not many benefits of separation.”

But there are some! McLachlan notes that “one small benefit is that my daughters go to Dad’s a couple of days a week … And so there are those mornings when I wake up and have the place to myself.”

McLachlan and Sood are parents to India Ann Sushil, 8, and Taja Summer, 3.

Comments

I think it’s terrible that she thinks it’s a benefit to not have her daughters a couple of mornings a week. I can just see them reading that later in life and thinking, “Thanks a lot, Mom!”

- catherine on July 10th, 2010

Oh please. It’s for her to do work in. I don’t consider divorce to be part of the normal life cycle. It must be hard for her.

- Ashandra on July 11th, 2010

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a mother of two wanting “me time,” whether or not she’s still with her children’s father.

- SAR on July 11th, 2010

I think whoever thinks Sarah is “terrible” for enjoying a wee bit of time to herself is herself a wingnut. Fer cryin’ out loud — STOP telling the rest of us to parent.

- EvitaLuisa on July 11th, 2010

It’s pretty easy to tell what quotes are going to set off the sanctomommies. A mother stating that she likes time to herself will do it.

- Kat on July 11th, 2010

@Kat – Sanctomommies! Too hilarious and so so dead on. Kudos to you – wish I’d thought of it. LMAO !!!

- torgster on July 11th, 2010

When I read the article I knew there would be comments about what she said! Every mother likes to have some time for herself, where she can sleep in, read a magazine/book or do whatever.

I have a friend who is divorced and she said the exact same thing!

- Anna on July 11th, 2010

The girls will probably get plenty of love from both of their parents, that they will refrain from feeling hurt about this comment later in life. They might even enjoy the break from their mom. ;O

- cecily on July 11th, 2010

That’s right. There is nothing wrong with openly admitting that sometimes you just need some time to yourself. Mothers have enough guilt to worry about with some sanctimonious woman without a life and probably miserable herself, trying to put more on us.
She is trying to speak as positively about a crappy situation as she can.
GET REAL and GIVE HER A BREAK.

- Tahnee on July 11th, 2010

Provided it’s a nice balance, there is nothing wrong with a little “Me” time for a Mom and/or Dad.

Personally, I think it is not only OK – but it makes someone a better parent. A little personal time makes someone happier and well-rounded IMO and in turn, that is passed on to the kids.

- Cecilia on July 11th, 2010

As a child of divorced parents, i would just like to say it is not the seperation that causes the child problems but the parents behaviour afterwards. My parents got on very well and i have no ill feeling towards them. If a mother wants alone time then it is well in her right to have it!

- Ellen Seer on July 11th, 2010

She’s a working mom who is a musician. Did anyone think that maybe she uses the alone time to write music?

Or….heaven forbid, have some time to herself.

- Christina on July 11th, 2010

Wow, Catherine… you sound slightly bitter.

Every parent deserves alone time- whether they are Mom or Dad, single or divorced. I sincerely doubt that her daughters will feel less loved because while they were spending quality time with Daddy, she were enjoying a break and a moment of silence.

- Amber on July 11th, 2010

“Me time” makes better parents, and kids need “me time” too.

- j on July 11th, 2010

as a single mom. trust me, you are with your kids 100% of your time with them. kids need time appart from you too. single moms don’t get date nights or time for their husband to watch the kids whil they go to the store. on the rare time that a dad takes his kids it a special treat for all parties.

- kate on July 11th, 2010

I cherish my alone time, it’s still MY life and there are things I like to do without my daughter, doesn’t mean I love her any less or wouldn’t die for her. All Moms deserve time away from the kids and absolutely should not feel guilty about that.

It sounds like she’s going through a hard time, in that case she definitely needs time alone to rebuild and heal.

- jessicad on July 11th, 2010

I cannot imagine that any woman who has actually raised children would take the view that being away from them for a few hours is a bad thing. And what is wrong with their father having a little face time with his kids?

- Jean on July 11th, 2010

Ditto to what Kate said! My ex is finally (after almost 2 years of being separated) taking the kids for some overnight visits and the little amount of alone time I get is a huge benefit. Being with the kids 24/7 with no break can be difficult and sometimes you just want to enjoy the silence, or even go grocery shopping without kids as a distraction!

- Angela on July 11th, 2010

You people are unbelievable. You jump all over commenters who don’t believe what you believe. There is something called an opinion, and everyone’s entitled to their own. You call people names (sanctimommies? how old are you!) because they have a different opinion? Grow up. It’s a comment section of a website.

- Mandy on July 11th, 2010

Mandy i agree with you to a point, but when an sometimes these ‘opinions’ are just plain nasty/silly or both! if you take this post, just a mum expressing that she gets a bit of me time when the kids are seeing their dad and yet someone here felt the need to jump all over her for it, and the question is why?

why come on a baby website if all your all your going to do is to pick apart every post word by word picture by picture to make yourself feel like a better mum…which is my opinion the problem with some posters here as it tends to be te same ones……

its not terrible to want a bit of time for you away from the kids, theres no opinion in that, its jsut a fact we arn’t tied to our children 24/7 so the comment was not only unfair but harshly judgemental and pointless, the only thing it showed was how nasty mums are to each other and other posters have called out on it. how ever offending the poster thinks being away from your child is most mums find it more offending that another mum would judge another so harshly……..and we are entitled to be. just my 2p xxx

- hayley on July 11th, 2010

@Mandy, you do realize that when you post your opinion, other people have the right to disagree? Also, why are you defending Catherine. You must agree with her then.

- Lee on July 11th, 2010

Me time for a mom is a good thing. You know, the kids probably enjoy having time with their dad and getting away from mom for a bit.

- katie on July 11th, 2010

I *think* what the poster meant was that it’s kind of ridiculous to say that having time to yourself is a benefit of separation or divorce. OF COURSE every parent needs some alone time. I don’t think many people would argue otherwise.

- Emily on July 11th, 2010

Any singer will tell u that heartbreak makes a wonderful album.

To the 1st poster: I don’t know a single mother that doesn’t relish some mommy time away from the kids.

- Tearra on July 11th, 2010

Mothers should never feel bad about wanting time to themselves. Yes, they are moms but they are also human… not extensions of their children. It should never be a bad thing for a woman to say she enjoys time to herself. I’m looking forward to hearing Sarah’s new music!

- Jen on July 11th, 2010

Catherine- No disrespect but I take it you either must not have children yet or you have an infant.

I remember thinking I could never be away from my babies but now that they’re 2&3, bring on the me time! I actually woke up on mothers day this year blissfully alone. It was the first time in THREE years I had been able to get up when I wanted and spend my day doing whatever I wanted. My children were having fun and being well taken care of so we were all happy and they’ll never hate me for it.

Everybody needs time and mothers are usually the last to get any, so good for her!

- Erika on July 11th, 2010

@mandy,

you do realize that your comment is doing exactly what you are making fun of others doing.

- kate on July 12th, 2010

I laughed out loud at her comment. I have 5 kids and would LOVE to wake up a few mornings by myself with no kid-commitments. But, of course, I wouldn’t want a broken marriage to get it. (Not saying that Sarah wants a broken marriage). Enjoy your time, Sarah, and write more beautiful music for us… enjoy your babies when they are with you, too!

- Melody on July 12th, 2010

I think Sarah was just trying to make the best of a bad situation. I am separated and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I am just maybe starting to see that not waking up with my kids every morning doesn’t have to be a tragedy and trying to enjoy the me time. I would not wish this on anyone, and I may be putting words into her mouth, but I doubt she would either…

- mmh on July 12th, 2010

Wow! Totally agree with Kate & Angela- as a working single mother, when my former mother in law or (on rare occasions, my ex), express an interest in having my daughter over for the weekend, I’m immediately thinking of the extra sleep I’ll be able to get. Or the extra 10 minutes in the shower. It was absolutely a small “benefit” of our separation (prior to the divorce) when my daughter was at her dad’s- I was adjusting from raising my child in a two parent household to being all alone and whether you believe it or not- that is a major adjustment. Stop jumping all over the woman for a simple comment! I’m personally more worried about helicopter mommies who never leave their child alone than I am two little girls who will probably grow up well adjusted enough to understand the “me-time” probably made their mother all the better for having it.

- Morgan on July 12th, 2010

One thing to remember – sometimes time away from the chaos of normal children/childhood assists the mom in being more relaxed and able to tackle the day-to-day issues that being a single mom brings. There’s nothing wrong with alone time. Sarah probably has more time with her girls than I do, being a 40-hour-per-week employed single mom. And it’s not like the girls are going to a sitter – Ash is as much their father as Sarah is their mother. We all do what we can. Sounds like they are as well.

- MrsNinjaneer on July 13th, 2010

Err, does anyone want to talk about Sarah or her music? That’s what I came here for and expected.

- Sarah Cates on November 4th, 2010