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Sheryl Crow on Adoption: ‘Things Always Work Out Perfectly’

07/07/2010 at 02:00 PM ET

Courtesy Redbook

It’s summertime, and for rockin’ mom Sheryl Crow, the living is busy!

In addition to her growing family – Crow recently announced the adoption of 9-week-old Levi James, a new brother for her elder son, 3-year-old Wyatt Steven – the Grammy-winning singer and breast cancer survivor is on tour with her latest album, 100 Miles From Memphis.

Despite her busy schedule, Crow, who appears on the August cover of Redbook, says motherhood is a top priority in her life. It’s a clarity she gained after treatment for breast cancer, which she was diagnosed with in early 2006.

Crow, 48, says she felt “an acute sense of urgency about how I wanted my life to feel,” so she started preparing to be an adoptive mother — taking part in a home study, filling out paperwork and learning infant CPR. “The idea was, if the opportunity came, I would be ready,” she explains.

After welcoming Wyatt in April 2007, Crow had planned to adopt another child when he was around age two. But it was a longer process than expected: “A lot of the adoptions fell through,” she reveals.

Still, Crow couldn’t be happier with how everything turned out. “Things always work out perfectly,” she says. “They just do. Generally, when you let go of your vision of how something is supposed to be, the universe hands you exactly what you need.”

With her hands as full as they are these days, Crow turns to her circle of celebrity mommy pals, including Nicole Kidman and Kimberly Williams-Paisley. Crow says her friends have “been a wonderful resource for me. We get together at each other’s homes, make dinner, and have girls’ nights in. Or we’ll go out for dinner and a drink — though we’re mommies, so we don’t let it all hang out.”

Nourishing friendships is one way Crow is taking better care of her emotional needs, a realization she credits to her experience with breast cancer.

“It’s great to be a strong woman, but when you’re never allowing your needs to be met, or even heard, it catches up to you.”

– Blane Bachelor

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Showing 77 comments

Mel on

Hmmmmm….I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work out “perfectly” for the thousands of women suffering from infertility who don’t have the money or the celebrity-influence for a pricey, private adoption.

J-Lin on

Mel – Why so bitter? I’m sure there are hundreds of thousands of families whom have adopted without money and celebrity.

Samantha on

I agree with Mel. And I’m confused that Sheryl Crow found it so easy to adopt within her own country when Meg Ryan said she tried for years and couldn’t, so she adopted from overseas instead. I hate how they say more people should adopt, but yet they make it a very difficult process, it takes years!

Lori on

Mel, That is unfair and as I am sure you read, many adoptions fell through so I am sure it was heartbreaking for her each time. I think her intentions in that statement were that she was meant to have this child and that it seems Levi was meant for her. You don’t need celebrity influence to adopt a child and if done correctly there are options that are not so pricey. I think Sheryl is a perfect role model fro women who do want children to stand up and fight for it and make it happen.

Karla on

I love the fact that she has adopted 2 children. My 2 siblings and myself were all adopted and yes it can take a long time but it is worth it in the end!

She is a great role model!

Kate on

There’s always someone who has to make a snide comment.

sarah on

Seriously, curb your bitterness a tad! As human beings we should all be happy that a baby got placed in a loving home and not a dumpster.

Mel on

Have you tried adopting a healthy, white newborn? Unless you have a lot of money to do a private agency, it’s very difficult. Ask my sister who has been trying for years and years.

Amy on

Adoption is a touchy subject with people. It can be a very long and emotionally devastating process. My hubby and I had seven failed situations before we adopted our son. I have nothing against Sheryl Crow, but it does seem that celebrities have an easier time sometimes. I also don’t like how glib some of them can be about, “If I can’t have kids, I’ll just adopt.” Congratulations to the new family!

Karen on

Babies up for adoption are rare since Roe v. Wade. She is very lucky.

Meg on

Well maybe if you weren’t so worried about the “white” part and/or the “healthy” part it would be quicker. Obviously with biological children we know what race they are going to be, but if your biological child is not healthy, you don’t send them back.

Now, I have no idea if Sheryl Crow specifically wanted “healthy, white” babies to adopt, but like the posts above state, can’t we be happy that she is providing these boys with a loving home.

Lori on

Mel,
Does it really matter if the child is white? Really or even newborn what about a child that is a little older even a toddler can be found much easier than a newborn and still be raised as your own. There are many children in this country who need homes and are in foster care, not because of anything they did and they deserve a great family too….Maybe if your sister was a little more open minded she would have a child by now. Not trying to be rude or inconsiderate but I call it as I see it.

Laura on

I am very happy for Sheryl. It’s incredibly sickening to read the nasty comments. She did mention that other adoptions fell through, so Sheryl does know how it feels to be on the adoption roller coaster. Levi and Wyatt are blessed to be placed in a loving home. By the way … a loving home is not defined as a celebrity home. Way to go, Sheryl! God bless your family! :)

Inge on

Meg, why shouldnt people care about the “white” part or the healthy part. Off couse people want a healthy baby and not everybody wants to adopt outside their race. i couldnt care, but i get it that people dont want too. And in the netherlands it takes yeaaars and yeaaaars before you can adopt, even a baby outside your own race. So i dont get why celebs can adopt so fast,it probably is because of the money. And that is just wrong.

Zeeee on

I think what she means is that the right thing happens, whether its a smooth road or a bumpy one. She had adoptions fall through, but that just means that those kids weren’t meant to be hers.

We have been working on adopting for a few years and our road hasn’t been smooth either. We don’t have a lot of money – we’re adopting older kids from the foster care system. But when you realize that its going to happen (or not) just how its supposed to happen, it makes the process much easier to maneuver.

Maria on

Amy (and everyone else saying silly things), just because it “seems” like celebrities have an easier time doesn’t mean they do (though I won’t say that having money doesn’t help solely in terms of them being deemed “suitable to adopt “or whatever… certainly would be easier than if you were a poor person looking to adopt).

Most celebrities do not publicize the fact that they are going through the adoption process until they have a child. You have no idea how long it took prior to the child coming in to their lives, so it isn’t fair for you to make that determination without having any facts at all.

Mel on

Lori, yes to a lot of people it does. Does it matter to me? No. I have a biological child, but I’ve love to adopt an older child. I don’t care about race, but to many people it does matter. The health of a child is important to many people, too. Yes it’s sad, but the fact is the highest type of child in demand for adoption is a healthy, white newborn. If you are loaded and a celebrity, you can get one lickety-split. If you are just an average, middle-class person, you’re usually out of luck or on a waiting list that is years long. Throw in a health issue for the parent like breast cancer and that makes it harder.

I’m just sayin’!

Adoptive Mom on

I am the mother of a wonderful 9-month old baby girl. We adopted her as newborn through an agency last year. It is an open adoption, meaning the birth mother and birth father have visits with her and regular updates. We were in the “waiting family pool” for 9 months before we were chosen by the birth mother, although the whole process took about 1 1/2 years. There are a lot of myths about domestic adoption, including that it is too expensive and that it takes years. It really depends on the process you go through. A good private agency is less expensive and takes less time than private adoption through a lawyer. Our adoption took 1 1/2 years. My sister-in-law, who tried internationsl first, then used a lawyer, waited over 5 years. As international adoption becomes more difficult, it would be great if people realized that there are options out there.

Belinda on

2 weeks after finishing the fingerprinting (the final step), we had our 5 month old foster daughter – who we’re now in the process of adopting. The only thing we’ve paid for to foster-adopt is the fingerprinting – and she was born in the same county we’re raising her in! As a cancer survivor myself, I found open adoption incredibly difficult because you have to disclose so much medical information to someone who potentially doesn’t understand it & it effects your chances of being “picked”…..you don’t need to go outside the country to adopt a beautiful baby – you just need to find the way that best fits your family! Bravo to Sheryl and her boys – what an incredibly lucky family!!!!!

Monica on

I don’t think she was saying it always works out exactly….what I think she was trying to say was “Everything happens for a Reason, and it all works out in the end.” type of thing. I’m sure she wasn’t suggesting that adopting is an easy thing; as evidenced by the fact that she herself has adoptions fall through. I think it was just written badly.

Jenn on

I think it’s great Sheryl is giving these two boys a loving home. It doesn’t matter that she has money or may have celebrity influence. She has worked hard for many years for what she has, and I think it’s wonderful that these two boys will be able to live a great life because of her.

Dana on

As an adoptive Mom working on our second adoption, why can’t people get off the idea of baby and get on the notion of being a parent. We adopted a beautiful 2 year old that was healthy and happy but had a few problems. He is the joy beyond joy. So if you don’t want to wait “years and years” and spend thousands of dollars, adopt a child in foster care. It’s about the child, plain and simple. Custom fit is for shoes and clothes not children.

Jackie on

If you want to parent, it shouldn’t be about how you get the child, their skin color, etc. Knowing I was infertile from a young age, I was insistent I couldn’t be a mother unless I actually gave birth. Hard to come to the realization but being a mom goes beyond the giving birth part. I’m proud to say I am fostering a wonderful 8 month old baby girl (soon to be adoping her) as a single, middle-aged woman, and couldn’t feel any more like a mother if I birthed her myself! Congrats to Sheryl and her family!!

Jackie on

Couldn’t have said it any better Dana!

Ro on

As an adoptive parent: It is very hard and heartwrenching to go through failed adoptions so if you haven’t gone through it personally please don’t comment.

Jill on

I know of 4 families who adopted 2 white healthy children each from the US and none of them have a ton of money. It is very expensive and each of them went through so much pain along the way after failed adoptions occurred. Not only the rich can adopt white healthy children.

If you asked each of them if it worked out perfectly, they would say, yes. If you asked my sis in law, who has not been able to have children or successfully adopt, if things work out perfectly, she would say yes. Because her motto is you get what life gives you and you can only handle what you get. She has been able to dedicate her life to rescuing horses and wouldn’t change a thing. I commend her for being such a strong person.

Diana on

It may seem like celebrities have an easier time adopting, but the public isn’t privy to when they actually started the process — the paperwork … the waiting … the home studies … the waiting … more paperwork … the waiting … the referral … the waiting, etc. All we see is the happy photos after the child is placed in their homes, right? Chances are, they still have to finalize the adoption six months or a year after placement, after even more social worker visits and paperwork. So give them a break and realize there’s a lot of behind-the-scene frustrations and setbacks for everyone who adopts. And yes, including for me, an average, non-wealthy, American adoptive mom of two great kids — who are neither white or “perfect,” (on paper) so I speak from experience. Thanks for listening.

Jacqui on

I’m happy for SC and think adoption is wonderful, no matter how it happens. I have an adopted brother and adopted nieces and nephews and ours is a sweeter family for it.

I have to ask. . . . What is all of this stuff I keep hearing about the Universe giving you everything? The Universe? Enlighten me.

Shell on

I think what she was trying to say is that even though she was saddened that the other adoptions fell through, everything worked out the way it was suppose to, she got the baby she feels she was meant to have…. so “things worked out perfectly….”

Charley on

Gotta add my 2 cents to this in MOST, not all but MOST the birth parents may pick the adoptive parents, and if Sheryl Crow was choosen who are we to say? I don’t know that I’d like my child raised in the world of celebrity but I do know that I’d never have to worry about the financial situation they live in, and that is appealing.

Julie on

It’s pretty clear from the context that when Crow said everything works out “perfectly,” she meant that even when things go wrong, there’s a reason — since she was referencing the failed adoptions before she got Levi.

She wasn’t being pat or flippant or saying things always go smoothly — obviously, since she had several adoptions fall through herself.

Sometimes you need to ask yourself if you’re just looking for something to be offended by instead of really hearing what someone’s saying.

Karen on

It amazes me that so many people think US adoption is so difficult and expensive. I guess it depends on what you’re looking for. We adopted through social services. Our son was 8 months old when we got him and there was NO cost…none. Not one penny. Of course, there could be more issues adopting this way and you have to wait for parental rights termination before you can finalize the adoption…but 95% of the time it all goes well. He had AMAZING foster parents who made everything so easy for us. We only waited a few months after we finished our classes to get placed..and yes, we have a bi-racial son (we are white). It was the BEST experience and I would not change a thing!

ILuvPerfectParents on

Cheryl is the same age as married Kelly Travolta? Hmmmm!!!!! Anyway Congrats to Cheryl and her two little seemingly lucky boys & vice versa.

Amy B on

Congratulations to Sheryl Crow.
We also had several failed domestic attempts before leaving the country to adopt our two children. And yes, we did try to adopt out of foster care in between the two adoptions and the child was given to someone else after we were sure he’d be ours because of a religion request on the part of the birth family.

We’re not rich, but our second adoption took years and years, so we did have some time to save and save and save. Some of my int’l adoption friends have done tons and tons of fundraising for their adoptions.

Celebrities are on the same lists that everyone else is on. Meg Ryan was on the list after me, and actually waited longer than I did to adopt her daughter from China. Angelina Jolie waited the typical time from dossier submission to referral in Vietnam, and the program was not closed yet. Adoption through an agency depends on when you get picked by a birthmother. We have friends who were picked right away for their first adoption, but waited much much longer to get chosen for their second. We have friends who were able to adopt a 5-year-old from foster care relatively quickly, and friends who have waited years and years and were just now matched with an older sibling group from foster care.

We can’t predict what will happen. Everyone’s situation is different. I wish I were a younger mom, but there’s nothing I can do about how long it took me to adopt. So, let’s congratulate Sheryl Crow and let’s support all those families who have been trying and trying to adopt for many years.

Birthmom on

Mel, you are so wrong! Adopt through the child welfare system and it’s FREE, yes, free. To adopt privately is not that expensive. It’s way cheaper than going international. My son’s parents are not celebraties and they adopted very quickly actually. It’s all about having an adoption profile that appeals to a women who is considering adoption for her baby. Some will find matches much quicker than others – yes, even regular folks who aren’t well known and rich.

There are things you can do that will be more attractive to potential birth parents. I now work with hopeful adoptive parents, helping them express themselves well in their profiles. People make the mistake of being too general when what they need to do it show what makes them unique and different from any other couple.

Zeeee on

Ro, I have had a failed adoption and it was one of the worst experiences of my life, one that took years to overcome. I now honestly believe that that child was not meant to be mine. I understand what Cheryl means.

kris on

you cannot tell me that Sheryl’s money did not get her these two healthy, caucasian children. Unless she actually paid a surrogate, I would say Sheryl got what her money paid for. I am all for adoption and there are thousands of children in our foster system and special needs children that need adopting and we see this? Something seems awry here.

Annie on

Wow. I am amazed at how uneducated some people are on the subject of adoption. Can it be expensive to adopt? Yep. Does being a celebrity put you on some sort of “adoption fast track”? Uh, no. Sheryl went through the same background checks, etc. that everyone else does. There is no reason to act ugly to a woman opening up her heart to motherhood in anyway. I’m sure if she had done surrogacy, people would have said “Oh, I wish she would have adopted!”

I’m not a huge Sheryl Crow fan, but this interview came across as down to earth and very typical of the adoption process.

And for what it’s worth, my dearest friend adopted a newborn baby and they were chosen by a birth mother a mere three weeks after being approved by the adoption agency. And I assure you they are middle class folks.

Anna on

Mel have your sister go to the County she lives in. Your sister hasn’t looked at all her options. It doesn’t take money. I work for CPS and there are many caucasion children who need homes, you can also go through churches.

Cheryl on

What a cool mom!

NickiM on

There are actually thousands of babies to be adopted in the US through the Foster Care system. There is some risk associated with it but once the adoption is final, it’s final. We were placed with a 3 day old (white & healthy) baby and were able to adopt her 7 months later. Check into it!! It’s awesome!!

Tracey on

Wow. What a lot of negative people. So Mel, if your sister was rich, she wouldn’t use her financial resources if it would help her adopt a baby?

LJ on

I have friend who have nither money or celebrity and are adopting a 17 day old white baby boy. Best of luck to Sheryl and all adoptive families .

Guest2010 on

Hmmmmmmmmm. Seems to me that “money talks”. How many “regular” women who are 48 years old, single, AND a breast cancer survivor and is ELIGIBLE to adopt a child as a SINGLE, cancer survivor.

Helene on

Guest2010,
MY bro in laws sister just adopted her 4 th child. All her children are white and healthy and from the US. She is in her upper 40′s. She has diabetes, which has caused her to have one leg. People didn’t think it was possible since she is also single. Goes to show, everyone can be a mom. Money doesn’t talk and didn’t for her.

You don’t need money to adopt!

Lee on

@Guest2010, you didn’t read the article did you? She had a few adoptions that didn’t work out.

Laura on

I’d like to smack all of you haters! As far as the boys are concerned, be happy for them and Sheryl. As far as you are concerned, stop being such miserable (and ignorant) a-holes!

Adoptive mom 2 on

Yes, there are white, healthy newborns along with many other children who need homes. They are not rare. We adopted our children very quickly as infants, and we’re “normal,” middle class people. I agree with “Birthmom” (we have an open adoption with our twins’ birthmom, and it’s a great thing)… that it has to do with a profile that appeals to the right birthmom… and frankly that was something completely out of our hands and in the hands of Providence. Sounds like Sheryl had to wait for awhile in spite of her “celebrity” status. Very happy for her!

molly on

Have any of you tried to adopt overseas or domestically to know what you are talking about- those that are acting catty towards Sheryl’s comments of how it tends to work out perfectly in the end?
Yes, it is expensive- roughly 15-30K depending on where(overseas is usually more $) and how you go about it. But , it is very possibly to adopt and my husband and I were in the process of doing so after years of infertility and miscarriages and then bam, we got pregnant after not trying anymore. And now we are resuming adoption since we want a sibling for our 2yr. old son and don’t know if we will have the blessing of becoming pregnant again and don’t want to wait around 5 years and let that precious time go. Adoption is a great way to have a family and there are many ways for all kids of income brackets to do so, they have grants, loans- even fostering to adopt which can sometimes be virtually free! You just have to do your research, pray and be positive. I say good for Sheryl Crow and many other adopting families out there! Patience and pray can lead to perfection!

Ellie on

Adoption an infant at her age & single is selfish. She will be nearly 70yr old by the time it graduates, IF she survives that long & she needs to consider her cancer history. Its wonderful she wants to adopt but why not adopt an older child that needs a loving home? I think its mean to the child. I am someone who lost both parents when I was still young and they were not as old as her when I was born. She needs to think about their furture, not just their now.

noam on

i have several friends/family members who have adopted, both domestically and internationally, and have volunteered with my local cps. in my experience, what holds up the adoption process most often is too narrow a profile from the parents. many initially say they are looking for a healthy, white newborn with a closed adoption. changing that profile to include other races, to an open or semi-open adoption (in which information is passed through a mediator and never directly from adoptive to birth parents), to include some health issues, or to raise the age all increases chances tremendously. you obviously should only do what you’re comfortable with, but it doesn’t have to be as long a process as the myth says it is.

also-there a multiple resources for adoption. private agencies cost thousands of dollars, but adopting through cps usually tops out (at least where i live) at five thousand.

AJ on

All I can comment on is my personal journey. After 6 years of infertility, we were approached by a friend of a birthmother. We weren’t on any lists, we just made it known that we wanted a child. Five months later our son was born. He was in our home in less than 48 hours. The adoption was not crazy expensive and we are absolutely NOT wealthy by any means. Two years later, we decided to begin the process again. We spoke with an attorney on a Wednesday. Through a series of crazy events, we received a call on Friday that a newborn was ready to come home and the original adoptive parents were unable to adopt her now. This was all done through a private adoption attorney – not an agency. Three months later, her adoption was final! I must say that everything does work out perfectly – by that I mean after 6 very long years of infertility and heart breaking miscarriages, there was a plan. Not only for us, but also for our beautiful children and their birthmothers! I LOVE adoption – despite the fear of falling through and anxiety – I would absolutely do it all over again no matter how long it took. Congratulations to this beautiful family!!

Helene on

Ellie,
I don’t think it’s selfish. We have no idea when we are going to die. My friends dad was 62 when she was born and he is now 93. He had cancer before she was born. You can never be sure. But to say selfish? The child she adopted is now given a great home and to imagine him any where else is wrong.

It would be like saying to my cousin who got breast cancer at 28 and then had a child, that the act was selfish bc she may die early of breast cancer. You need to live life and not fear the unknowns.

MOMO on

Kittie Cats – Stop hating on Mel!!!

She has a right to her opinion. I know many people that are married with some money waiting years for a white baby ,and I also know of a couple where the wife has MS and they’ve been declined any opportunity to adopt.
As far as wanting a white and young baby.. Many families want children to resemble them and not have the abandonment issues that does come with (much) older children – it’s their choice.

As far as cheap or free adoptions.. I have to say, I’ve been educated.. I think you’d find more US families stay in the US for adoptions if those programs you spoke of were more known..
Actually if you wouldn’t mind sharing it I could pass it on to families I know that are interested.
Thanks..

Jessica on

I placed my second child with a couple that I chose when I was three months pregnant (and yes, she is caucasian and healthy). Regardless of finances, race, celebrity, age…it takes special people to adopt and special people to place their children. We need to focus on the fact that these two boys have a loving home with a woman who adores them. I have an open adoption so I see my daughter and talk to her regularly. It was a difficult choice with an amazing outcome. Congrats to Sheryl and Wyatt and Levi!!!

Mia on

I think the fear of adoption in the U.S is that sometimes the parents can choose to take the baby back before the adoption is final, or change their minds leading up to the birth.

Diana on

Ellie, if perfection — in age, health history, marital status, even open-mindedness — were a prerequisite for being a parent, adoptive or otherwise, most of us would not qualify. Children need someone who loves them and wants the best for them. Life and people are not perfect, never will be. Preferring that a child remain without a parent until the situation YOU deem the best comes along is the epitome of selfishness to me.

CET on

I am happy for her. I would love to adopt. We have talked to many adoption agencies. Money always gets in the way. :-( I have two precious boys, and would love to give them a sister. I am happy for anyone who can adopt, and have the joy of being a parent. I wish her and those boys much happiness.

Helene on

cET, you can look into CPS.

Kim on

Congratulations Sheryl! Both my sister and I are school teachers with husbands who are blue collar workers, not an abundance of money. Between the two of us, we have adopted 3 children, plus I have one biological child. It was a matter of making parenthood a priority and saving the money we needed. All of our children are white, but it didn’t matter to us whether they were or not. Our adoption process took less than 7 months, it is possible. We went through an agency that promotes open adoption. I wish everyone had the chance to experience the miracle of adoption.

Cassie on

I am an adult adoptee. I have wonderful adoptive parents. I met my birth mother at age 25, two siblings at age 40 and I am now 53. In many ways I am glad to have been adopted but you need to know there are many areas of loss and grief, identity issues and confusion for adopted persons. I had heard it said once that CHILDREN NEED PARENTS – ADULTS WANT CHILDREN. See the difference? Need versus want. I read all the comments about paying so much and helping the poor little foster kids… I’m a little sick. You see I also see the other side… the kid who looks like no one, may never have an opportunity to know where they came from, may never know a true medical history or meet anyone who they look like (especially true in international adoptions). Think about those things in your life for just a moment. Adoption can be a great thing, but I must say, please get off your white horses and take off the rose colored glasses.

Michelle on

I think committing to the love, care and support of another human being for at least the first 18 years of his life, and beyond, is by far the most UN-selfish thing a person could do.

Julie on

By the way, People.com, I think your headline on the front page is a bit misleading without context and probably started all of this drama. Obviously headlines can’t include context, but it could have been something like, “Sheryl Crow Discusses Adoption.”

amanda on

While adoption is great, and I am very happy for sheryl crow, a lot of people do not understand that adoption is a life long process and never ends. It seems that all these comments are only based on adopting a baby and not what happens in the long run. I had a baby girl at 17 and suffered all my adult life because i gave her away for adoption. I though of her everyday, even after I had 2 children of my own. No matter what ANY mother says that has a baby and gives it up for adoption, you are always empty and incomplete. I found my daughter 2 years ago and today we are best friends. But still, everyone is suffering and feels left out. I just had dinner with her adoptive mother tonight, who is also now one of my best friends. But she is now struggling with me becoming friends with her daughter, who is biologically, my daughter.

YES, adoption is amazing and great, but people need to realize when you adopt, you will still feel the effects for an entire lifetime. Every child that is adopted questions and wants to know about their biological parents. I really hope that Sheryl Crow will be able to handle it when her sons question her and maybe want to meet their biological parents. Will be very hard as well for her being that she adopted them on her own and maybe wont have a mate to help her through it.

Anna on

For those in this thread who have mentioned not being able to afford to adopt, here’s an organization I recently heard about that helps with adoption fundraising: http://twitter.com/abbafund

dfs on

“No matter what ANY mother says that has a baby and gives it up for adoption, you are always empty and incomplete.”

Amanda, I’m sorry you suffered so long because of the adoption–however, you can’t speak for everyone. Just because you felt that way does NOT mean that everyone else has had or will have that same experience. And not all adopted children feel the way your biological daughter felt/feels. We all have different experiences and can only speak for ourselves.

Sara on

Don’t be so fast to jump on Mel. Coming from that place of pain myself, I understand the bitterness at such a blase statement like Ms. Crow’s. I’ve been on every side of the baby thing, from excitedly trying to get pregnant, realizing it wasn’t happening, visiting doctors, trying a lot of drawn out, expensive (and failed) tests, surgeries and treatments and then going through the arduous, heartbreaking and ridiculously expensive experience of adoption. Our adopted daughter is now 9 weeks old and I can look on things with an “everything worked out perfectly” sort of attitude, but that wouldn’t have been the case 6 months, 1 year or 2 years ago. It is beyond painful to have children seemingly everywhere and, with it being the one thing you want that everyone else has, it’s the one thing you can’t have. That kind of pain will give you a sour outlook on stories like this. Don’t let it break you, Mel. If you are going through something like I did, please know that things can work out in the end, no matter how painful or lonely or hopeless it seems.

Belinda on

To those interested in adopting through foster care, just contact Child Welfare Services (used to be CPS) & ask for local agencies who oversee foster-adoptions. Again, it didn’t take us long at all to get our beautiful, healthy little girl (and no, she wasn’t a newborn when we got her – but I’m the only person she’s ever called Mama!)!

And Cassie, I’d love to talk with you sometime…..we’ve got tons of photos of our baby’s bio-family & are lucky that bio-grandma & bio-brother are still in the picture, but our daughter doesn’t look like us and I want to be as ready as I can with details for when those questions come up!

sara on

I was adopted by my foster parents when I was 5 and they decided to unadopt me when I was 13. People who want to adopt a child need to realize that it is a life decision and not take it lightly!

Anne on

What a cool story. Mel, sorry that you don’t seem to agree. I think it is great that she wanted a family, and so she adopted. I think everyone should be more open to the idea.

Jerusha on

Speaking as someone who is struggling right now with infertility – not too many people can understand the physical ache of wanting/needing a child. We’re not wealthy and, in South Africa, adoption is hard. Everything looks bleak right now. So, while I cry for my own empty womb, I am happy for any parent who has longed for, and then got the blessing of a child.

Von on

Do celebmommies really have time for some solid,good parenting?Their careers are busy, their social life with girlfriends, where is the time spent with their adoptees putting in the hard yards? Who is the adoption really for? Wouldn’t it be better for the adoptee if they put their money into supporting the mother to keep her child?

MiB on

Von,
I know that looks can be decieving, but to me it looks like many celebrity parents who have adopted (at least those who have young children right now) are seen doing every day stuff with their children, yes they need nannies for when they work (but every working mother needs someone to look after their child/children when they are working). I would say that doing every day stuff with your children is an indicator of good, solid parenting (as you put it). I also see pictures where the parents and children look genuinely happy together as an indicator of good, solid parenting (though I don’t necessarily see pictures of kids not smiling in pictures as an indicator of disconnected parenting as there are kids who won’t smile to cameras, or to strangers). Supporting the birth mother financially, albeit a good idea (and successfully implemented in poor countries through oragnizations like PLAN), is not always an option.

MiB on

Inge,
You can’t compare one country to another when it comes to how difficult or easy adoption is since adoption rules and regulations vary greatly. I don’t mean that adoption is easy in any country (I don’t think it should be too easy either). In some countries it’s easier to adopt from inside the country, in others from outside, and in some countries it’s practically impossible to adopt at all.

Leah on

I am proof that adoption doesn’t take years and that you can adopt within the US. Our process took literally 6 months, from start to the time we were placed and we have a beautiful 2 year old boy. His birth mom chose us, and we used an agency. We are not famous, nor are we rich! When the baby that is meant for you is born, he/she will come. Exactly what you need. I am a believer of that because of my son.

Sara on

I am the mother of 3 adopted children all from the county I lived in at the time. I am definately not wealthy and it didn’t cost me a fortune. There are plenty of children in fostercare who need good home. My children came to me when they were 9 weeks, 4 months and 11yrs. I am a very blessed mamma

Alex on

If you don’t want to pay, or can’t afford thousands of dollars to adopt a child, become a foster parent. Adoption is always an option as a foster parent. My sister is adopted from foster care as are 3 of my cousins. Unfortunately many people will not even consider foster care children as an option :/

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