Kourtney Kardashian’s Blog: Getting My Son to Sleep

06/29/2010 at 11:00 AM ET
Courtesy Kourtney Kardashian

Our newest celebrity blogger Kourtney Kardashian has told us all about traveling with her son Mason, 6 months, as well as breastfeeding him.

Now she’s tackling the age-old sleep debate: Should her son sleep in a crib or in bed with Mom and Dad?

See more of the reality star, 31, and boyfriend Scott Disick on E!’s Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami, which recently premiered its second season.

Click below for Kourtney’s latest blog!

When Mason first came home from the hospital, he slept in a bassinet right next to my bed. I remember those early days when he was often up all night and asleep all day. Scott and I would take turns staying up with him, singing to him, rocking him, doing anything and everything to get the little angel to sleep.

I was told that Mason would eventually switch around on his own — so he’d be awake during the day and sleeping at night — which he finally did.

When I was pregnant, a few of my friends told me that their babies slept in bed with them. I remember thinking how crazy that was. Then I started reading up on it and decided it was something I actually wanted to try.

I know that having Mason sleep in my bed might be a controversial topic. But I have to be honest: I just love that time. I especially love how when you sleep with your baby, you breathe together on the same pattern. I’ve been able to bond with Mason so much more. Even if I’ve had a busy day, I always look forward to every night and us spending time together when we sleep.

Mason still sleeps in the bed right now. We take all the pillows off the bed to make it as safe as we can. I try to have him take naps in his crib if we’re home. When we’re on the go, he naps in his car seat and he loves that.

I really have mixed feelings about the whole topic. Some people say co-sleeping for the first two years is good, but now people are telling me the longer he sleeps in the bed with us, the harder it will be to get him to sleep on his own down the line. Of course, ultimately I want what is best for Mason, so I’m really battling with it right now.

Do you allow your baby in bed or keep your little one in a crib? Tell me your thoughts!

– Kourtney Kardashian

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Louise on

I believe that an individual mothers instincts are always right, and that there will never be one rule for all.
Just go with your gut and you will inevitably get it right for the both of you! :)

Chloe on

I have never had my son in my bed to sleep, and I feel we are both the better for it. He’s always settled himself to sleep and is an independent boy who is happy to go into his own bed, has no separation anxiety and we are happier parents and child because we all get our sleep and look forward to our little lump running in for a cuddle in the morning.

That said, I don’t for one minute diss mum’s that choose to co-sleep with their child, each to their own but it just was never on my agenda.

Alicia on

My 1 year old sleeps in a crib but if he happens to get up in the middle of the night my husband and I just put him in bed with us and he loves sleeping with mommy and daddy.

My 3 year old sleeps in his own bed some of the time but usually wanders into our bed in the middle of the night. We wake up in the morning and there he is.

Lisa on

With my first we coslept (and I didn’t breastfeed) and I never laid him down in his crib. He slept in the bouncer, my arms, or on the couch. BAD MOMMY! I just got him out of my bed at the age of 5. With my second child I breastfeed exclusively so it was so much easier to let him cosleep and nurse on demand. BUT, I made sure he took naps in his crib and we would start out the night with me putting him in his crib. I weaned at 19.5 months and he has slept through the night in his bed ever since. I think they way you are doing is great…it’s whatever works for mommy, daddy, and baby!

Holly on

All 4 of my kids co-slept. It was wonderful and I wouldn’t give it up for the world. They transitioned to their own bed beautifully. I slept better knowing they were right next to me.

Kattie on

Co-sleeping is the absolutely the way to go. Just enjoy your time with him and don’t worry about something that may or may not happen. Both of my girls co-slept and eventually they just let me know when they wanted to be in their own bed. Even if they don’t and you are ready for them to be out there are gentle ways to do it.

Also, that chest clip needs to be moved up to armpit level and he shouldn’t be sleeping in his car seat unless you are in the car. http://www.boston.com/news/health/blog/2009/08/car_seats_for_n.html?s_campaign=

Jenny on

I have to say that I am a firm believer in keeping babies in their own cribs……I didn’t want my little boy to be 2 or 3 and still sleeping in bed with us. I feel like that is “our” time and place and he should have his own. I also don’t feel like we would all sleep peacefully if we were all together. He moves all over the crib right now, so I can only imagine if he were in our bed! We started with a bassinet next to our bed when he first came home, then at about 8 weeks moved him into his crib. He is now almost 7 months old and sleeps great!

Crystal Quintanilla on

My aunt and sister had their babies a couple of months before me.. they co sleep with their babies and the best advice they gave me was “DO NOT CO-Sleep”…. I thought it was crazy but it was for the best… for both our son and us. Ryan Christopher cuddles with us in the morning and before bed but he prefers to sleep on his own.. made him more independent and allowed couple time for Ryan Sr. and myself.

I don’t think one is better or the other.. I think as mom we analyze the situations and we just want the best for our children thats all.

Leanne on

Our daughter slept with us from the start, and she wanted to move to her own bed (big guest bed in the “nursery”) by 2yo. Sometimes I had to go in and cuddle her, sometimes she joined us, but by 2.5 she was sleeping in her own bed the whole night. There was no screaming or fighting or bribing, just a gentle transition as we all became ready for it. And night nursing was SO much easier while we coslept, I barely had to wake up for that. I’ll do it the same way again with impending #2.

Katie on

Kourtney, you are a great mother and I always enjoy reading your blogs! I agree that every mother knows what is right for their child and I know you will do what your instincts tell you!
My son was in his crib at 7 weeks old. Before that, he slept in bed with my husband and I. We switched because I felt that he wasn’t getting very sound sleep. He would wake with our movements and we did with his. Now he will only sleep in his crib! I would love for him to want to sleep with me, but he is so much happier in his crib! I have heard that the longer you wait, the harder it is to get them to sleep by themselves. And it’s the same with other habits like the paci or bottle.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Just follow your mommy instincts!!

Bonnie on

Some babies start to sleep more fitfully in their parents’ bed as they get older, at which point it’s a good time to think about moving to a crib if they will sleep more soundly. Some babies are the opposite. If sleeping with you is working right now, why mess with it? The most important thing is that Mason gets enough sleep, and that you feel comfortable with your arrangement. There will come a point when everyone is happier with him sleeping separately, but until then, don’t worry about it!

marie on

I have a 3 mos. old & I have been told & have read since day one not to sleep with my baby. We were told this could aid in preventing SIDS. Also, our Pediatrician said that many babies are dying by suffocation & strangulation by sleeping with their parents. He sleeps in a co-sleeper next to our bed & will move to a crib later.

Nikole on

My niece Armani slept in her crib for the first few months, but when she started having trouble sleeping her mom allowed her in the bed. She sleeps over with me a couple nights a week when her mom works and she has to sleep in bed with me as she won’t sleep anywhere else. It is becoming a problem now that she is 3. We try everything to get her to sleep in her own bed but she won’t have it. She sleeps very well and late when she is in bed with us, but we’re are having the same internal battle as you. I think each little one has different needs. I hope it works out for you!

Angela on

My first slept in a crib, but she was also formula fed. My second was a nursling and she slept with me either in my bed or in the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper until about 6 months when her constant night nursing just got to be too much. As soon as she was in her own space we both slept way better! She didn’t *need* to eat all night long and once the temptation of the milk being a inches away from her was gone she started sleeping through the night. Moving her into her crib was a very easy process, but she was still pretty young. My third is 8 months old today and still co-sleeping! She night nurses sometimes, but I have sleep-feeding down to a science so my sleep is not very disturbed and I love having her right there with me.

I think co-sleeping is wonderful! And if you are nursing it is the easiest way to get some rest and it is nice to know your baby is right there. Baby snuggles are great :). As long as co-sleeping is done properly (no extra pillows, blankets, parents aren’t under the influence of anything or overly tired.. etc) is is very safe.

Katie on

My husband and I decided before our son’s birth that he would sleep in his crib the day we brought him home from the hospital. It was difficult getting up to feed him and change his diapers but it helped my husband get the sleep he needed. He wasnt able to take time off work when we had the baby. We knew that we didnt want to have to fight our son when the time came to sleep in his own bed. That is his space and our bed is our space. I love it on Saturday mornings when he comes running into our room to watch cartoons with us in our bed.

Hannah on

Both of my children have slept in our bed at different stages of the first year…My first would cycle through: in bed with me, in a side car, in her swing, in bed with me… It changed week to week, month to month. Some of it was my mixed feelings on the matter as well. When she was 12mos old we sidecarred a twin bed to the side of our bed and then eventually moved that bed away from our bed: the transition was painless and she LIKES her own space. She was just 2 at the time…She has not once climbed back into bed with us since we transitioned her. If she wants us with her [which is rare], she asks us to get in HER bed.

My second started out in our bed and is now in a twin next to us (there are websites with directions on how to sidecar safely), we plan on moving her out when she is ready. The age is different for each child.
I have loved sharing sleep with my children. Our days are so busy and getting that extra time to reconnect and fill up thir little love tanks (while we sleep!) is a huge bonus for our family.

mimi on

I think you should do what ever is best for you and your baby, however like you said the longer you let it go on the harder it will be for both you and Mason to start sleeping apart. Also having the baby with you at night cuts into mommy and daddy time. I have three children myself and when your breastfeeding it is so much easier to sleep together. They grow up so fast and I think you should cherish every moment with them. Good luck xoxo!!

Love the pic of Mason! I think he looks like you when he’s sleeping! You have a beautiful little boy!

Liz on

I agree that you should do what your maternal instincts tell you. We co-sleep with our kids and love it. I really think it’s given our son, 3 years, the confidence to sleep alone in his room because he knows he’s always welcome by us so he doesn’t have the desperation about not going to sleep that I’ve seen other kids struggle with and doesn’t fight to sleep near us or worry about being alone. Sure, we wake up at 3am sometimes and he’s crawling in bed with us, but it’s only a couple times a week and I’m sure it will taper off as he grows older. Again, it’s all about maternal instincts, knowing what’s best for yourself and knowing your childs personality and style best :)

Mary on

Our baby girl has been sleeping in her crib since we got home from the hospital. She loves her crib! She has been sleeping through the night since 3 months and I truly think that is because she is in her own “nest” with no noise or movement. The crib is actually one place I can put her in the day if she can’t settle down and she will immediately calm down. I don’t think she feels like she’s missing out (although she doesn’t know any different at this point) and I know my husband is grateful that I pushed to use a crib so we can have alone time too.

Lisa on

There are pros and cons to having you kids sleep in bed. Normally I don’t have them sleep with me, but on special times, like watching a movies, they don’t feel well or when there are awake from a bad dream, they will sleep with me and it makes it a special time for all us, they look forward to it and is special time for all of us.

jessicad on

My daughter slept in the bed with me for about 3 months. I couldn’t handle putting her all alone in another room so soon, plus I was nursing so it was easier! I was single at that time so it was just us two in the bed, I trusted myself not to roll over or hurt her. Mine developed colic around 10 weeks so there wasn’t much sleeping for a few months after that:) My Dr suggested I try letting her sleep in a swing when I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and it worked like a charm! She slept in the swing in my room until she was 8 months old, then she moved to her own room and crib, it took her a few nights to adjust and I don’t know if it was because of the crib or being on her own, either way it wasn’t too bad. It was better for me too, I would wake up at every little noise and movement she made so I still wasn’t getting much sleep, but I loved that bonding time with her in my bed those first few months and definitely plan to do the same if I have another.

I’ve heard so many horror stories about letting them sleep with you too long, and my best friend is still dealing with her 3 year old son who refuses to sleep in his bed. But each child is different so I always tell people to go with what works best for you and your family and what feels right.

Sounds like you’re doing an amazing job!

jovi on

Even though I’m not a Mommy yet I still LOVE reading your blog! You seem to be a great Mommy & Mason is SO cute. Looking forward to seeing him grow into a handsome little Kardashian!

amandamay on

i have found co-sleeping to be the most natural thing! i never once worried about smothering my son (and you don’t have to “sleep on your back” – i’m a side sleeper and my son slept curled up next to my chest) you know how you don’t roll off the edge of your bed? your body “knows” where the edge is! the same way your body “knows” where the baby is. the stats are skewed by people who rolled over on their infants while drunk or on drugs/medication.

we’re one of the few cultures that demonizes the family bed concept. and for people to act like it’s gross or lazy or weird is funny, seeing as co-sleeping is how the majority of the world sleeps (and has done so for thousands of years!) the “lazy” argument doesn’t apply to our situation, because co-sleeping is a specific choice we made from day 1, not some “oh, we give up… how about just bringing the kid in bed” last resort. my son is 7 and still sleeps in the family bed about half the time. not because he’s “insecure” but as he says it – “i like being all cozy and warm and snuggling with you :-)” my son is ridiculously independent in his daily life (“i can do it myself” is his mantra lol), and is outgoing and popular with his peers (and very well behaved – best manners around :-) ). I don’t believe at all that where a child sleeps correlates to how independent/anxious they will be as an older child/adult.

i find it strange that some people think the ONLY thing that leads to independence in adult life (and good behavior as a child) is sleeping in a separate bed, in a separate room from an early age. that’s ridiculous.

Beka on

Our daughter was in her own crib in her room when she was about 4days old. We tried the bassinet in our room but she wasn’t having it and her doctor told us right up front “not to cosleep”. We put her in her room and it has been wonderful for 2yrs. She does like to lay in our bed when I do laundry or if she is super sick.

margaret on

I can totally relate to your mixed feelings Kourtney. I too thought before I had my twins that people who slept with their babies were nuts. And then of course once I had my girls all of that went out of the window. They are now 8 months and sleep with us. I do have mixed feelings about it but right now it’s what they seem must comfortable with and what allows me to get some much needed sleep at night. I do want them to sleep on their own and plan to gradually work towards that but for right now co-sleeping works for us. Btw, thanks for being honest and sharing your experience. I hardly ever tell anyone about our family bed b/c I hate the judgment I often face.

Debbie on

Follow your own instincts…no one else will decide for you. I have to kids and I was also pressured into putting my babies into cribs etc., I felt that both of my daughters slept best when they were sleeping with us. Now getting them out of the bed was a gradual process. We didn’t use cribs so they slept in a regular full size bed on the floor, which worked wonders because they are both bed hoggers. My 3 year old is currently sleeping on her own in her room since she was 19 months old, which was also around the time we stopped nursing. I currently have a 18 month old, who I breastfeed to put to sleep, ansd she starts the night in her room in her bed and sometimes she will wake up and come to our bedroom and vice versa.

What I’m trying to say is no two methods work the same, this whole scenario with my daughters happened organically. Sure I’m still not getting a fully nights sleep, but I will eventually and honestly all that matters to me is that my babies are happy and healthy. Goodluck on your decision and I’m sure it will come naturally to you and will be in the best interest for you and Mason.

Julie on

My son has always been in his own bassinett or crib. He is a great sleeper, and now that we’re having baby #2, I don’t have to worry about trying to get him to sleep on his own, where as other people I know had a lot of trouble when it came to trying to get them to go in their own crib/bed after they

Amber on

My son co slept with my husband and I until he was 7 months old. it was nice that i could nurse him and sleep some at the same time! the only reason we stopped co sleeping is because I became pregnant again. I didnt know if we had the room in our bed for the three of us plus a huge belly. Sadly i miscarried but i kept him sleeping in his crib since he had grown used to it. he will still sleep in his car seat and in his stroller. if we stay at my mothers house though he does sleep with me which is a pain! he moves so much now i get a foot in my face or a butt or who knows what! do what your mommy instincts tell you to do!

Sarah on

We co-sleep with our 5 month old and have since the very day he was born. Never a problem and now at 5 months he will go to be on his own, I nurse him and lay him down and he sucks his fingers and puts himself to sleep.

Psstt raise that chest clip on the seat up under your little one’s armpits :)

Frances on

I never really heard about co-sleeping because in North America it is just now starting to gain popularity. My husband slept with his mom and dad since birth, he was born at home, and lived at home until we were married. He is from Thailand.
Now my daughter shares the futon with us. I know she is safe, and she has been sleeping through the night since 6 weeks old. I think that you need to be comfortable, the parents need sleep too. I sleep best with her, so that is that.

In terms of safety, we don’t drink or smoke. The futon is very firm and low to the ground and we don’t have a duvet.

As for weaning her into her own bed…she is only 17 weeks so in a year or two we will deal with that issue.

Prille on

I think that you should follow your heart if you want your child to sleep with you and you are both getting good sleep then why not. I slept in my parents bed until I was about 8 years old, I would sleep on the foot of the bed, it was just where I was comfortable. Now that I have a child of my own and another on the way I don’t mind if my babies sleep with me or not it’s wherever they are comfortable. I didn’t have any development issues or seperation issues. My husband doesn’t think our children should sleep with us but when our daughter comes in the room in the middle of the night he is the first one with open arms to welcome her into bed with us. When she was a baby she would sleep in a bassinet and when she would wake up for a 3am feeding I would bring her in bed with us and that’s where she slept for the rest of the night, she was three years old when she finally decided she wanted to sleep in her “big girl bed”. So my opinon is let your child sleep with you they aren’t going to be little forever, I honestly miss my little girl sleeping next to me and waking me up with her smiling face. Now we wake up to her jumping all over us asking for breakfast or if she can turn on the televison to watch toons. I can’t wait for my next one…. MORE CUDDLE TIME WITH MY NEWEST BABY!

kallie on

Awww that pic of sleeping Mason is adorable!!! Well Kourtney, I feel that as Moms, we have to do what we feel is right for our children, whatever makes them comfortable. And if that means co-sleeping, I say keep it up!! Mt son is 5 years old and still sleeps in bed with me. There is nothing wrong with it at all. And I agree with you, there is nothing like laying in bed next to your son <3

Mandy on

I had my son in a bassinet for the first 3 months because I was nursing. He ended up sleeping in the bed with me part of the time because my husband didn’t want to put him back in the bassinet (I was next to the wall). I did not sleep well and I started having dreams that I lost my son down the space between the bed and the wall or down under the blankets. That was ongoing for a year, even though he moved to his crib at 3 months old. Ever since, he has to be alone in his room to be able to sleep so we haven’t slept together since he was a baby. He’s now 3 1/2 years old and loves being in his own bed and room.

Carol A. on

My two sons are grown, in their 20s and three years apart. I never co-slept. I believe firmly that the bed is for grown-ups to have their intimate time alone and to get their sleep. After all, parents do a lot during the day and we need our sleep too!

I think sometimes parents do ‘too much’ for their child/children and eventually the kids get to expect things (get spoiled?) and parents should have more of a handle on that. Not criticism of you, Kourtney, just saying that I think things can get out of hand.

That is not to say my sons didn’t spend a little time in bed with me–especially since I breast fed. But when it came time to go to sleep, they had their crib to sleep in.

I’m not against what moms do today. It’s just that I grew up in a different time, was taught differently by my mom, and read different books about child-rearing. For these reasons, I don’t believe in children sleeping in the parent’s bed.

robinepowell on

It’s true, if you don’t have him sleep in his own bed from the start, it’ll be harder when he’s older. I’ve seen that happen with a few parents.

My mother always put my brother and I in our own beds, straight from the start and in our own rooms.

Lisa Traves on

My Husband and I made the mistake of allowing our son to sleep in our bed starting at around 18 months. At the time I was working long hours and arriving home late and I missed him so much during the day, I wanted him close to me and I desperately needed my sleep. It was very difficult for us as he became older to sleep by himself. He is 6 years old now and to this day either myself or my husband have to sit on the edge of his bed until he falls asleep.

CMCEAC on

I allow my daughter to sleep with me at night if she wakes up. I always start her out in her bed, then if she wakes up during the night I put in bed with me. Unless she is sick she always starts out the night in her bed. Some nights she makes it all night and other nights she ends up with me. She always naps in her crib. I think it is really up to the parent to decide what is best for your baby. Only you know your baby best and it doesn’t matter what the books say, you ultimately know what will and will not make your baby and you happy! Enjoy the time cuddling with him, because there will come a time when snuggling up with mom and dad will be the last thing he wants to do. I love cuddling with my girl, it’s one of my favorite things to do.

Leanne on

I know several families that have let their child sleep with them in bed for the very same reasons. As the child grows older, it becomes very difficult for them to transition into a bed of their own, let alone a bed in an entirely different bedroom. To make things easier, for you and Mason, transition him now to avoid hurt feelings and confusion for him.

Susan on

My son is a week younger than Mason and he co-slept with us from the time he came home from the hospital to about five months when he wasn’t sleeping as well with us anymore (he’s a sleep mover). He hated being in the bassinet next to our bed and since he woke frequently to nurse it just was so much easier to keep him with me. Once I went back to work, I relished having him with us in bed because I felt like we got to catch up on some bonding time that I missed while being out of the home. Now even though he’s in the crib, the crib is in our room so he’s still nearby during the night.

JMO on

I am not a fan of co sleeping with kids! I think the bonding is great but that’s what snuggle time is for. I know too many kids who sleep with their parents and they’re like 8 or 9 years old!! I even know one boy who is 11 and his mom can’t get him out of the bed!! It’s just imho a bad habit. But to each their own I guess.

Shelly on

my daughter has slept with me since her birth shes 8 now and occasionally still does it for girls movies nights etc, best thing i ever did for us both loved it

Ashley on

I would maybe do both so he is used to the crib if nothing else. I have always put my son in his crib because I wanted him to be used to it, I heard every little noise when he was next to me and couldn’t sleep, and we worked with him to get him “trained” to go to sleep on his own without needing to be rocked every night. After two weeks of the cry out method, the crying got less and less and finally none. It was a hard two weeks, but he’s 10 months old and goes right to bed in his crib most of his life. I do put him in our bed for naps so we can cuddle, though.

JMO on

Btw growing up my mom and dad didn’t allow it. They said if we got up in the middle of the night they’d make us go back in our rooms or we were told to get a blanket and pillow and lay on the floor. We were NEVER allowed in bed with mom and dad except for in mornings when we were all awake snuggling. I guess that’s why I feel the way I do.

C on

Don’t approve of the idea.

Melissa on

This is the first pic i have seen where you can see scott in him :) Usually he looks just like Rob.

Jenn on

My daughter is 17 months old and honestly did not sleep more than an hour at a time the first 4 months. It felt like she was constantly nursing – she would fall asleep nursing and when I would move her she would wake up and start nursing again – it was very hard. But when she did sleep, she slept in a bassinet next to our bed.

We moved her to her crib on Father’s Day – 4.5 months after she was born. She didn’t sleep the whole night through, but she slept much better than she did in her bassinet, probably because she had more room to move around. Now she is sleeping through the night – she goes to bed at 7am and wakes up at 6am. Like clock work.

Ultimately as a Mom you have to follow your instincts. But with my husband and I we just followed our daughter’s cues. She does a really good job of letting us know what she needs or wants and when she wants it. So far by following her cues, we’re in a good place.

sarah on

I know that I also loved that too with my first one. She slept in bed with me for two years, and it was so hard to get her to sleep on her own. The next two children I put to sleep in their crib and I will say that having a child who can fall asleep on their own and soothe themselves back to sleep is a much better scenario then a child who is in bed with you. But ultimately it is the mom’s decision and I think either is fine if you and your siginifigant other agree on it.

Laura on

My son slept in bed with me until he was 10 months old. I used the Ferber method and he has been in his bed ever since. It is what works best for you. Don’t let others sway your opinion.

cricket on

This is only MY opinion but I believe to maintain a healthy, loving relationship with your spouse or boyfriend, you should not let children in bed with you…even if the spouse/boyfriend doesn’t mind. There’s no way to be intimate with a baby or toddler around.

jen e. on

If it feels right go with it. There will be a time when they don’t way to cuddle anymore. Enjoy it while it lasts!! He’s so beautiful, how can you NOT want him near you all the time?!!

Kristina on

I agree with you about the bonding! I love how my son snuggles up to me and has to have some part of his body touching me the whole night, even if it is his feet in my face. lol. My son is 22 months old and has been in a toddler bed since he turned 1. He now can get in and out of his bed when he wants. I put him in his bed at night and if he wakes up and wants to sleep with me, he just comes into my room and snuggles up.

I think that it should be your decision as to where he sleeps. I will tell you that it is a great feeling when he makes the decision on his own to come into bed with mommy for snuggle time.

Good luck! I hope you find the answer that you are looking for.

Kristina~Ayden McNichol’s momma

Sam on

One of our relatives accidentally suffocated her infant when the baby was asleep in the bed with her last year, so no, I would never co-sleep. I think for this reason that it can be dangerous and would recommend people purchasing a cosleeper so the baby can be up against your bed but still stay safe.

Erin on

I work full time and breastfeed, so co-sleeping worked for us for a while. My son was waking up constantly to eat, and I needed the sleep, so I brought him to bed with me. I loved the cuddle time after not seeing him all day, and that I didn’t have to get up to feed him! It got to the point, though, where he would comfort nurse and wake up every hour to do so! Once he was 6 months old, my doctor gave me the okay to do sleep training to get him to sleep through the night, which meant sleeping in the crib. He is almost 8 months old now and sleeping through the night! I do miss the cuddle time, but it’s another reason why I love breastfeeding… I at least still get that closeness with him in other ways!

Chrissy on

I think it’s a very personal decision but my baby NEVER slept in our bed (except for naps) He started off in our room in a bassinett, then crib, then transitioned to his own room (in the crib)and so on…
Honestly, we’ve never had a problem with him sleeping on his own, he never even needed a night light. I think because he was so used to it from an early age. On the flip side I have a good friend w/a 3 and 6 yr. old-she can’t get either of them out of her bed and her husband sleeps on the couch or in another room to get some decent sleep, but again, it’s a personal choice.

Roony on

We’re expecting our first, and we’re planning on moving the crib into our bedroom (we’re lucky to have space to allow for that, otherwise we’d get a bassinet or portable crib) for the first 2-3 months and then moving the crib into his bedroom. I’m a little nervous about him sleeping in a different room, even if it is right next to ours. I guess we’ll see, but I wouldn’t be opposed to having him sleep in the play yard or a portable crib in our room if I’m not ready to part ways at bedtime.

Noelle on

When my son was born ; Preston ( P for short) we had the pack’n’play next to the bed but eventually P missed the closeness we had and I found it a lot easier in those first few months to let P sleep next to me sound. I read the book “The happiest baby on the block” which helped me teach Preston his own self-soothing techniques as well as the importance of a nice tight swaddling of a blanket!!! At about 4 months my mom came to visit and lucky for me she helped with the transition. Preston loved his crib and we learned he was a tummy sleeper. Now at 15 months he does extremely well in his crib. My advice is to do it now while thye are young and no habits are formed; soon around 6 months babies form attachments which makes it harder for them to let go so by then it might be good to have him on his own bed time routine!!! Which is also a bonus by the way; Preston’s bedtime is 7;00 p.m. and then its mommy and daddy time !!!!!

Melissa on

My 8 month-old son sleeps with me. I think it is especially helpful for nursing moms. You have to do what works for you and Mason, no one knows better than you!

Stacey on

My infant slept in bed with us when he was 2 months old for a month or so. That was the only way he would sleep well, and he would sleep through the night. At around 3 and a half months we decided to try and put him to sleep in his crib. He has slept in his crib every night since then. He also has slept through the night since then. You just have to trust your instincts and listen to your baby. My baby needed that closeness for awhile. He fell asleep listening to my heartbeat, what he was listening to for 9 whole months. It soothed him.

Amber on

Kids should never co-sleep. It is dangerious, no only for SIDS reasons, but also for suffocation. Studies also show it causes emotional problems, and that often kids sleep in bed with their parents because of personal reasons on the parents’ parts – they want “that time” with their child. Sleep time is not bonding time.

Jessica on

I have 3 children, ages 3,5 and 8. My oldest daughter(Savanna,8) never slept in her crib. She just would not do it! Literally, one night of her entire baby life is all she slept in it. Finally, when she was 5 we just put a bed in our room next to our bed because we had a 2nd baby that was occasionaly in our bed as well(only sometimes). When you jusst have one, it’s not so bad but when you have 2 or 3 in your bed…look out! I do think it is hard to get them out of your bed once you let them in. Good luck and know whatever you choose is fine..we are not perfect, we are just parents!

MC on

Wasn’t the issue with co-sleeping not related to future sleep patterns but that you could roll over on your baby and suffocate him or injure him in some manner?

Rachel on

I have a 7 week old baby boy and we have co-slept with him since day 1. We have a “mini-bed” for him that you can find at Target that has rails on it so that it eases your mind about accidently rolling over on him. I love co-sleeping with him too! I agree that it definitely allows you to bond more with your baby! I don’t want to put him in his crib at all, but my husband is now wanting too! I’m going to do my best to keep him in the bed with me! :)

Melissa on

I felt the same way while pregnant. I would say no wayyy am I letting my little newborn sleep in bed with us, not only would it start a bad habbit but I was scared we would roll over or something on her. I eventually broke and we had her sleep in her boppy pillow in our bed from the first week home til she was almost 5 months! We then decided she needed to start trying to sleep in her crib because she would have more room and that was her bed. The area where she sleeps! It was hard at first and she was not use to it for the first month but its alot easier now and she loves having her little area where no one else goes!

Danielle on

I co-slept with my daughter who is now 6. She slept with me til she was around 3 when she went in her own bed and is still there. I had no difficulties switching her. I now have a 8 week old son and I’m doing the same with him. It’s the best thing I could have done and wouldn’t change it for anything.

Heidi on

I think whatever you feel is right – go with it!

As for the comment about not sleeping in his car-seat for naps, our doctor actually recommended it for our son when he couldn’t sleep. It’s something about the way it cradled him that helped the tummy aches causing him not to sleep.

Sara on

I think whatever is best for one mom, may be different for another. Go with what you feel is right for you and your kids. For me, that was co-sleeping. All 4 of my kids slept with us. I was told they would always be in our bed if we did that. So, under that pressure, I tried to get my oldest (who’s 10 now) to sleep on her own. It was so not worth it. Lots of tears from her AND me. So, we gave up. By 4, she was in her bed almost every night. My 7 yr old had no issues transitioning to her own bed. My 3 yr old actually told us he wanted to sleep in his own bed. My 14 month old is still in our bed and I’ll savour every minute as he’s my last :) For nursing, it was so much easier. I slept better knowing they were right beside me so if there was any issues at night, I was right there.

So, 3 out of 4 kids are in their own beds. Just like anything else (potty training, breastfeeding, bottles, soothers, bad habits, etc), kids WILL grow out of them. They are little for such a short time that it’s not worth it trying to raise your kids how everyone else thinks they should be raised.

Marina on

My son hated being in a bassinet/crib and I found it much easier and safer to nurse my son while co-sleeping (I kept nodding off during feedings sitting up). We have a king size bed so there was enough room to keep everyone safe and comfortable. He also took his naps in his crib, carseat or swing. Around six months he seemed to be more comfortable in his own crib and wanted the extra space and firmer mattress. So transition wasn’t an issue and all went smoothly.

Initially I felt so much guilt and anxiety about co-sleeping. Then I started to read more about the causes of SIDS and how they are starting to think at least some cases are tied into low serotonin levels. Exercise additional common sense and co-sleeping can be a wonderful experience for a family.

Jen on

We LOVE cosleeping with our daughter. As a working mom, I make up for the missed cuddles and nursing during overnight hours. If you think about it, human babies were designed to sleep close to their mommies! Here are some interesting articles on cosleeping: http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/sleeping.html

Rhitu on

My son is 5 1/2 and he still sleeps next to me.

We both sleep peacefully like that.

Some of you WILL be shocked but that’s how it is.

He is considering a bunk bed with the ladder and his own reading table and computer underneath it already, so, guess, he’ll be moving out soon, happily.

Till then, I am loving my cutie pie!

Christine on

Hi Kourtney, first let me say how beautiful your son is!! I have done co-sleeping with both of my boys and I too love it. My husband on the other hand doesn’t. My first son slept in bed with me until he was 14 months and when he stopped nursing at night, I transitioned him into a crib where he slept through the night. I am still sleeping with my second son and he is 14 months. He still nurses maybe once or twice in the night and as soon as he is no longer nursing, I will transition him to the crib. Like a lot of other moms, I say do what you feel is best for you and the baby and do what will get you the most rest because making sure that you are rested is the most important.

RST on

Although sleeping with your baby may make you and the baby happy – it is not a smart or safe thing to do. Please take the time to google information regarding the number of babies who die each year due to suffocation from sleeping with adults in beds, on sofas, etc. and also the increase of SIDS. I have attached one such article from the SIDS CENTER website. http://www.sidscenter.org/SafeSleep/AroundtheClock.html

alex on

all my kids did =) your going to have problems puting them to bed wether its with you or their bed… NO MATTER WHAT… my kids transitioned fine…i started little by little when they were 4…. so come kindergarden they were transitioned!!!! =)

Susanna on

I co-slept with my son (who just turned 3 yesterday) and once he got older I’d put him in his bed, then let him come in with us – until just a few weeks ago. He just started putting himself to sleep in his bed and sleeping through the night in there. It was his choice, no tears, no tantrums, he just happily goes to bed by himself! I think having a Mommy who responded to the fact that he was scared to sleep on his own made him less afraid of sleep, so it’s been a non-issue for me. My kid needs me at night, I’m there, we both get sleep. Why fight with them about it?

Nan on

It was hard enough getting my son to sleep in the crib, so I was not in favor of this at all. I think it is intrusive (for lack of a better word) on the husband/wife bedroom activities.
Mason looks just like your father. God bless him.

Franci on

It really doesn’t matter as long as the baby is safe. You are always going to have issues with change. Stopping the bottle, pacifier, potty training. It is what is best for YOUR family. It’s your life, don’t let anyone tell you how to live it.

kristan on

i have to agree with the moms saying co-sleeping is the way to go. my son co-sleeps with my husband and i and it is a wonderful bonding experience. they are only this little once. enjoy the most time you can get with them, because before you know it they are all grown up.

Dmama on

I Love having my baby in bed with me, its so calming and he loves it too. I have am armsreach Co Sleeper that attaches to your own bed so baby is sleeping right next to you but is still safe!

AbbyRose on

I couldn’t let me baby sleep in the same bed. I knew someone that did that and woke up from a nap with the baby and she had rolled on the baby while she was sleep and the baby died.

Courtney on

To each their own. I thankfully had a baby that slept peacefully in his bed from the day he was born. People say co-sleeping is safe and they make the bed safe for their babies and they don’t think that anything bad will happen to their child. In my opinion you can not make co-sleeping as safe as a crib. That’s why there are standards for cribs.

A friend of mine let her baby co-sleep and her baby died because he rolled over and got stuck between the wall and bed. The parents were “sure” that they had made the bed safe. So just be careful!

Kat on

I personally have experienced this with my 1st child. She after didn’t want to leave our bed. Eventually, we had to teach her that she was a big girl already and she had her bed and mommy nd daddy had theirs. Now she’s 2 1/2 and loves her own bed and well she knows where she has to go for nap time. Now with my 2nd child, i know for sure he won’t sleep w us. Cause they will start to get use to it. Soo i advice to stop little by little when he gets to understand and talk bak. That’s maybe by 10month-12months. So jus be prepared.

Erica on

I LOVE co-sleeping with my 17 mo old daughter. I look forward to this time every day when we settle down and catch some TV or do some reading while we bond. This is my favorite part of the entire day.

I do worry that co-sleeping will be a hard habit to break, maybe not just for my daughter, but for myself as well. None the less, I am going to enjoy the time while it lasts!!

Maggie Hampton on

I have three children, and have allowed them to decided where they sleep, my first daughter has always slept in her own bed, and does not like shate a bed at all even now and she is thirteen, second child, my son, seem to need me so he slept with my husband and I for about three years, then we gradually moved him into his own bed, where he now sleeps and he is eight, a third child and second daughter, is two and while she sleeps in her crib, she did start off sleeping with us, she seems to be more comfortable in her crib but does sometimes needs to sleep with us, and that is just fine with myself and my husband because we know that quickly enough she will be grown. Cherish this time with you have with mason, Love him like crazy and relize all to quickly he will be a teenager.

Karen on

I did sleep w/ my daughter till about 9 mos and really loved it as well. I knew it was time to transition to the crib and sleeping on her own when we both were tossing and turning and not getting the quality of sleep both mama and baby need for the day. It took about 3 days of some tough love and shedding of tears from both mommy and baby, BUT she now sleeps on her own for a good 11-12 hours which she really wasnt getting when she slept with me.

Jenn on

My son has always slept in his crib (aside from first 3 months in bassinet). He is an independent sleeper and loves his crib. My bedroom and my bed is really the only “downtime” my husband and I get and i like keeping it separate. I do admit my son is so independent he won’t even nap on me during the day:( But he is a great sleeper. To each their own though!

Marie on

My son slept in the bed with me and his dad till his was two, and in our bedroom till he was three. I loved every bit of it. It was easy for breastfeedings as I got use to being a new mommy.

Anonymous on

As you can see from the answers, everyone has their own story for either side. You have to do what feels right to YOU as a mother. It will not hurt him to co-sleep with you and it won’t hurt him to sleep on his own either. Do what you want.
My daughter co-slept with us for purely selfish reasons. If she was in bed with me, she slept longer. :-) Working 2nd shifts this was a beautiful thing. She is 10 now. Happy, healthy and independent. How she slept didn’t play a big factor in that. How she was treated when she was awake was. Good Luck with your decision but again do what you want not what you think others want.

Franci on

By the way isn’t it a special feeling having a product of your love sleeping next to you at night? I think it is sweet. When he gets older you will know when to put him in his own bed.

julia on

My older stepson co-slept with his mother when he visited her and to this day, at age 5 he will not sleep in his own bed. My younger stepson, who has lived with his father since he was 5 months old has always slept and napped in a crib and loves his independence. He is 4 now and more independent than the 5 year old, who to this day needs to have someone in his bed with him until he falls asleep and wakes up screaming if there is nobody with him. I am a true believer in having your child sleep in his or her crib once they outgrow their bassinet. Baby monitors are great if you feel like you need to see them.

Noelani on

Check out the Snugglenest for him to sleep on. It goes on the bed between the two of you and provides a little protection for him when you all sleep. Our son really enjoyed it and we were able to bring him to bed safely with us. They have it at giggle:

http://www.giggle.com

Good luck!

Pam on

I think co-sleeping is the most natural thing in the world. It seems completely unnatural to put a baby in a crib in a separate room of the house without the comfort of the sounds, smells, and touches of Mom. I have also read that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS because the baby matches his breathing to that of the parent.

Michelle on

My son moved into his crib in his bedroom after about 3 months in a bassinet. He is 4, and sleeps in his own bed in his room – where he should be. We have never had any sleep trouble – the only time he ever comes into our bed is in the morning on the weekends as we are all up early during the week. At this point, the bed is for me and my husband. My best friend is still trying to get her son out of their bed – I don’t know why anybody would want to sleep with their 4 year old child unless there was a medical need or something like that. Otherwise, I think that is a need of the parent, certainly not for the child. Kourtney – put him in his crib – you and Scott will be so much happier in the long run.

Alicia on

I had all three of my children sleep in the bed with me and my husband. The cutoff age for all 3 was 3 years old. Mostly went off without a hitch and with the oldest now about to turn 11 I see no ill effects at all. If anything they are all happy, healthy and very secure children. If it feels right and you are comfortable with it then go right ahead, you are his mom and know what’s best for him!

Sam on

I loved napping with my daughter when she was an infant. She always slept so well in my arms. She slept in a pack-n-play next to my bed when she first came home from the hospital. I was too scared to have her sleep in the bed with my husband and I. She and I always tooks our naps together though and it was such a special time. Now she sleeps in bed with us but she’s 2 1/2 so she is safe. Enjoy your beautiful Mason! They grow up way too fast!

Lisa on

Kourtney: First, congrats on entering the world of parenthood. Mason is beautiful and healthy as are you.
I’d like to comment on the topic of co-sleeping. I have two sons who each slept with my husband and I from day one. I especially found it convenient while nursing. But even more than that I loved having my baby boy sleep right next to me. In addition, I felt like we were giving my son a tremendous gift. Children by nature, sleep soundly, without a worry in the world. What could be better than sleeping in between the two people who love you the most-your mother and father? I can only imagine the love, security, warmth each of my sons experienced while sleeping with us.

What is important is that you do what feels right and natural. That is always the best way to go. Whatever works for you may not work for another mom and that’s fine. I honestly believe that your baby will react to your true feelings. They are very intuitive!

Enjoy every minute of mothering with all its ups and downs!

Sincerely,

Lisa R.

Elizabeth on

Kourtney,
My little one is 10 1/2 months old. When she got too big for the bassinett, I wasn’t ready for her to be in the crib in her own room (and I was also paranoid about sids) so I brought her to our bed. We co-slept for a few months and I loved every minute of it! Even though I was uncofortable, it didn’t matter because she was right next to me. She would wake up multiple times and it was so easy to nurse her back to sleep. But at the 8 1/2 month mark, my husband thought it was time for the crib. I refused to let her cry it out alone so I made him sleep on the floor in her room for 3 days (!) until she got used to it. Good luck!!

34 year old first time mom,
Elizabeth

heather on

We have been co-sleeping with our baby since he came home from the hospital 16 months ago. Its the best thing we have done. Many other cultures co-sleep, and I am glad it is gaining popularity in the States.

Sharon on

As an employee of a children’s hospital, I have seen countless number of babies come in almost dead due to co-sleeping. Many of these babies do in fact eventually die from their injures.

Almost every single one of these parents thought they were doing the right thing by “bonding” with their child. But accidents happen and many times a parent will roll just a little too close and accidentally suffocate the child. It does not take much. Co-sleeping is incredibly dangerous and any credible healthcare provider will strongly encourage parents to not practice co-sleeping.

Casey on

Kourtney,

My sister co slept with both of her girls. They are 7 and 3.5. She is now trying to get them to sleep in their own beds and it is a battle at times, not all the time though.

I have 2 boys 4 and 2.5. They both sleep in their room in their own beds each night. They slept in bassinets until they were 3months and then into the crib. My oldest has been in a bed since he was 14 months old as to make room for his brother. Thomas has been in a bed since he was 15 months old.

They have their bed time and almost always will walk to bed when the time comes. I love it that my husband and I have our time when they are asleep. With that said, I also love to sleep with my boys. When they are sick or if they get up at night I always let them come into bed and I love to snuggle with them. They are warm and make me happy being so close.

I think when it comes to co sleeping, as a mom and a dad you guys have to make that decision for you. Although it can be hard to get them to want to sleep in their own beds after sleeping in yours, its not impossible and the most important thing at the end of the day is the bond that you share with Mason. He is such a cutie and I love you guys! I love your blog. I think it is key to know that no one can tell anyone else how to parent. You do what works for you, your life and your children.

amandamay on

Amber – I’d like to see these “studies” you speak of (“Studies also show it causes emotional problems”) I slept in a family bed until I was 8 years old and I don’t have any emotional problems – I’m a grad school educated, self-employed, fiercely independent, super awesome mama/woman! :-) I get so tired of the fear tactics used in the US to get people to do what’s “expected” when raising a child. The majority of the people in the world co-sleep. Is everyone in the rest of the world plagued by emotional problems? I think not. Americans in general have a very different way of looking at child rearing – Based mostly on what the “experts” say. Women are basically told to ignore their instincts – With breast feeding, baby wearing, co-sleeping… You name it. I’m no hippie mama, but I know that I know what’s best for my child, and I trust my instincts.

Amber on

My ten month old son starts off in the crib and when he wakes up at about six in the morning, we both get into the guest room bed and nap until 7:30. It’s my favorite time of the day. We just get to lay there and bond. It’s special.

Stefanie on

My son is 17 months old this week and he has slept in his own crib since day one. I really like giving him that space to sleep comfortably and me as well. It is important also for my husband and I to have our alone time in our bed. My son sometimes does wake up in the middle of the night for some milk or just because something startles him and in those cases I bring him to my bed with me and he falls back asleep. Those times are not every night but enough times that we can have a little extra cuddle time. I think what’s right for you is whatever you feel is right and not what everyone tells you. This is just what works for me.

KBuck on

My first son slept with my husband and I for about 2.5 years. He wouldn’t sleep on his own so we let him sleep with us. It was VERY hard to get him to sleep in his own bed but for me it didn’t matter except for the fact that he was getting too big for all 3 of us to sleep in there. Ultimatley we were able to get him in his big boy bed once his baby brother came along.

Mira on

I want to point out that this isn’t an “age old debate”, but rather a very recent controversy. Co-sleeping was the norm for thousands of years. The crib is a modern invention.

Dmama on

I love having my baby in bed with me! people will always have their opinion , you know whats best and what works for you and your baby. Im sure it will be hard when he get older but it works for us now. I have am Armsreach Co-sleeper it attaches right to your mattress so your baby can sleep with you safely. Love it!

Jeanett on

I did both. My first child got sick early on with a high fever so he slept with me so I could watch him. When he got better he would not sleep in his bed at all. I could not get him out till he was 4. I did not make the same mistake with the second. He slept in his crib from day one and has not slept in mine at all. If I had to do it all over again I would not have had my first sleep in the same bed. Bed time is a lot easier and smoother with my second son.

Jennifer on

I think it is very interesting that we have a name for a child sleeping in a parent’s bed- “co-sleeping”- anyway, yes I do think that whatever works for you go for it and there are cultures where “co-sleeping” is the norm, but there is an increased risk of suffocation with “co-sleeping.” You do have to take more precautions with it and there are items you can put in the bed to make sure he is not on too soft of bedding. It is also more difficult for another caregiver or grandparent who is babysitting to put them to bed.
My opinion is that there is child time and adult time. The parental bed is where you can have alone time with your husband. I never felt insecure or unwanted because my parents set boundaries of where I could or couldn’t sleep.

Marisa on

I have a 5 and 7 year old and they both started out in bed with me and my husband due to breastfeeding. Initially, it was the only way we could get sleep and we both work. With my first child, my daughter, I let her sleep with me while my husband was deployed for almost a year. Even though I loved sharing that time with her, when he returned, it was difficult to get her to stay in her own bed. It took about 6-8 months to get her to transition. She’s been good ever since. With my boy, I decided I wanted him to get used to sleeping in his crib, which he started doing when I quit breastfeeding at 6 months. He never had issues transitioning and actually likes to sleep in his own bed. We do too because he is a bedhog. :) You’re the mommy and what is comfortable for you is what matters. Mason is a beautiful baby boy and I enjoy reading your blog.

romy on

we did it in the beginning for feeding purposes. After about 3 months they were put in their own room. we needed to sleep more soundly, and we just couldn’t do that with all the noises and movements a baby makes. We also wanted to be alone in bed together at the end of the day. This is the perfect time to switch him to his bed. Between now and 8 months old or it will be a lot more difficult. I have seen friends still struggling with 5 year olds, and I know a couple who sleeps separately. One in one bed with a kid, the other in another room with the other kid. Not ideal in my opinion! The baby starts to sleep better and become more confident in themselves too. Some attachment is nice, but it also nice to let them be able to figure out how to soothe themselves. Good luck, I would do it now though!

Barb on

As a mom we are told what we should and shouldn’t do by all these “experts”. Sure babies have died by being smothered by a parent in the parent’s bed or on the couch, but babies have tragically been injured or died sleeping in their cribs. I take the advice given by the doctors, family members and complete strangers into account, but when is all said and done it’s the decision my husband and I make.
We typically do not have our babies (we have twins) in our bed. We do put one or both in our bed if they are having a tough night. When they first came home there were a lot of nights that they were in bed with us. Otherwise we would not have gotten any rest! :-)
Go with what your gut says…I know the “experts” tell us what is the right or wrong thing to do, but in the end you’re his momma and you know what is best for you guys!!

Vanessa on

I also agree that you should do what your maternal instincts tell you. My son is 4 and he still sleeps with me and my husband. He does not want to sleep on his own at all. Sometimes it’s hard when couple time is needed we have to wait till he falls asleep, put him in his bed, and then bring him back :). But over all both my husband and I love sleeping with him. My daughter is 10 months and does not like to sleep with us. She loves sleeping on her own in her crib. I’m pregnant now, so I’ll see how it goes with the new baby in Jan 2011. :0)

momof2two on

Hi Kourtney…first of all I love you and your sisters, you guys are so heck a funny! Now on the whole co-sleeping thing, I felt the same way as you. My husband and I waited so long to have our first baby, that I didn’t give it a second thought. WELL 11 years later my daughter still sleeps with me, and I can’t seem to get her to stay in her bed. She just started going to sleep in her own room, but by the time morning comes around, guess what? She’s in bed with me….OH LORDIE! So you decide, comfy cozy time now, or squished, foot in your mouth 11 years later….LOL and GOOD LUCK!

ChefDulce on

Kourtney Just do what feels right for your baby and you. In our hearts we know. Don’t do something just because you read in some expert article… ten years from now they might say the contrary. I know when my kid was growing I did a lot of things not in any baby’s book but that felt right at the time.
My son is 31 now and he turn out just fine.

Professional cosleeper on

I co-slept with my 9 year old until his 1st day of Kindergarten (age 4). It was a wonderful time and he is fiercely independent, incredibly smart and has more self-confidence than a 9-year old should. My daughter was born with a rare 50% fatal lung birth defect and before we left the hospital I was told babies that co-sleep breath slower, their heart-rates are lower and their oxygen levels are higher. All these she was out of norm so of course I would follow co-sleep. Dad said thanks to the advisor “now she will sleep with us until college”:) She is 2 now, doing amazingly well and I watch Dad reach for her in his sleep to snuggle. Our miracle baby will co-sleep until Kindergarten and I pray she is not a brain like her brother or I will lose that special time 2 years too soon again! I think it is for the parents AND baby to decide but it worked for us in a big family beneficial way!

Raquel on

All three of our kids slept in our bed, I slept better knowing there were close, so I could hear them breath, cough, cry whatever. All my kids have adjusted to sleeping in their own beds fine, and now that they are 8,7 & 4 now, I miss having that chubby baby in the bed to smooch on!
Do whatever works for you! If it feels right, then let that darling little boy snuggle you in your bed for as long as you want!

romy on

have to add that many say sleeping in a car seat is fine. or a swing. not forever, but whatever works. other experts will say it’s not. i’m guessing you moved the chest clip down in the pic for him to sleep, I saw someone to tell you to move it up. that would be true for when driving.

Jessica on

I put my son down in his crib (which is in our room) until his early morning feeding, then he sleeps in our bed. I don’t want to try and have him sleep in our bed full time, but the early morning time is a compromise. It’s just for a couple of hours and it’s bonding time, our three year old daughter comes into bed too…although Dad gets kicked out of bed by that time, LOL! I am careful to hold our son by the crook of my arm, and check on him quite a bit. I know cases of cosleeping accidents (I used to work in a hospital) so I just try to be very careful.

Heather on

My daughter is 15 months and sleeps in the bed with us at night. I love it because I work far from home so I am gone from 6am to 7pm and don’t really see her much throughout the week. It is such a special time to me when I get to cuddle up with her next to me and just hold her. The only downfall is the lack of a sex life – it’s a little hard to feel frisky with a baby in between you.

To each their own. If you and Scott enjoy having him in the bed with you, then that’s your business. It’s hard getting them to their own bed either way you go. Although, I will say that it was much easier when my little one was younger – before the separation anxiety phase kicks in.

Mom of 3 Little Ones on

I agree that this is a controversial topic, and there is no right answer for everyone. The choice to co-sleep or not is deeply personal – as is the choice whether or not to breastfeed. I agree that especially when breastfeeding it is extremely beneficial having them close by. However, I felt too uncomfortable from a safety perspective having any of my 3 kids in the bed with us. Part of what fueled our decision to NOT co-sleep within the same bed was advice given to me by a dear friend. She was having her 3rd baby as we had our first. Her first had been a very independent sleeper, whereas it was a constant battle with her second (who at this point was 3 years old). The first child never took to breastfeeding, so it wasn’t as big of a “push” to keep her in their bed. The second child, however, did breastfeed so spend significant time in their bed nightly. My friend found that as she tried putting the baby in the crib after several months, it was a nightmare. My friend told me that even at age 3, sleeping alone was still difficult for her child. Therefore her advise to me was to put our own baby in their own bed. We opted for an Arms Reach Co-Sleeper which gave us an experience similar to sharing a bed with a little added safety… plus the added benefit that the baby had their own “space”. After a few months, when it came time to transition each of our kids to the crib we found it to be much easier than expected. Sure it was hard on us emotionally, but I also had to learn as a mom that it was MY problem not having each baby right there, not the baby’s problem. And to not let my problems become their problems. As a result, all 3 of my kids (ages 5, 4 and 1) are FANTASTIC sleepers… they go to bed with no issues, fall asleep with no issues, and STAY asleep with no issues. I feel VERY fortunate! Good luck as you figure out what to do… only you know what works best for you and your family!

Colleen on

All of my kids have coslept and I personally felt the same way, they also slept more soundly and it also helped very much during those long days, if you think about it have you ever seen an animal sleep apart from her young? No, and you won’t it is in our instincts to keep them close, I never had a problem getting my kids into their own bed. If it works for you keep it up not everyone is going to agree just keep in mind only you know what is best for your little Angel, good luck !!!

wendy markowitz on

most of the population of the globe sleeps with their children, just be careful not to roll over on him! I know a family that has a huge bed just so they could sleep with ALL their children – and they are all wonderful, happy, independent people – so enjoy!

Teeism on

My daughter just turned 17mos today and still co-sleeps with us on occasion. I love sleeping with my baby. Having her close to me is a major bonding experience for all of us. I thought my husband might have a problem with it or looked at it as interference. I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I asked if he preferred she slept in her room, he responded no and that we have plenty of time for that. He admitted liking that she was so close to us as well. I’m not worried about getting her out of our bed. She is our only child. There is only so much time spent at this age. Eventually she will want to sleep in her room with the door shut so I’m going to savor these moments.

Layla on

I let my son sleep in my bed for the first few years and I’m definitely paying for it now! He is 4 years old now and he is JUST sleeping in his own bed now. Every night was a huge fight with him to get him to stay in his own bed. I agree the bonding time is great but I would try to break the habit before he turns 2!

joan on

Once they start sleeping with you, it is very hard to get them to sleep in their own bed. If they don’t feel well, or they are afraid of thunder, that’s a different story. They really need you then.

Emily on

Please do not cosleep with your babies! I understand that it may be a bonding mechanism, but it is also a major risk factor for SIDS. I am a maternity nurse in a major Boston hospital and just last month a patient was found co-sleeping with her baby and when the nurse went to rouse him he was not breathing. That poor family had to go home without their baby. I have seen many other cases like this and the risk is just not worth it. They make cribs that attach to your bed now and I urge you to use those rather than put your infant at risk!

Kim on

Good for you! Our son, who is almost 5, slept with us until he was 4. Everyone had their opinion and to be honest, it was quite annoying. The way I looked at it was one, he will not want that much to do with me as he does now. When he turned 4, he just decided he wanted to sleep in his bed. Occassionally, he will wake up in the middle of the night and come up in our bed which I love. Enjoy it and love it!

Lauren on

I’m not a mother myself at the time, but my dad is a homicide detective and he’s seen way too many babies die due to SIDS and even co-sleeping. I found the following text on http://www.kidshealth.org:
“Despite the possible pros, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) warns parents not to place their infants to sleep in adult beds, stating that the practice puts babies at risk of suffocation and strangulation. And the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) agrees.

Cosleeping is a widespread practice in many non-Western cultures. However, differences in mattresses, bedding, and other cultural practices may account for the lower risk in these countries as compared with the United States.

According to the CPSC, at least 515 deaths were linked to infants and toddlers under 2 years of age sleeping in adult beds from January 1990 to December 1997″

Just something to think about! Keep being a great Mommy to Mason.

Erin on

I have an 8 month old and she has slept with me in bed since the first day she was born and the nurse woke me up in the hospital to ‘scold’ me for falling asleep. I love it. I love that I can feed her and then we can nestle in close together. She sleeps in a crib in daycare and she naps in her crib, car seat or swing. I’m so attached now that I feel like I am missing something when she’s not co-sleeping.

Amy on

I agree with Kourtney, I have a 2 year old and she has slept with me since birth, we have a large home yet, she has never slept in any of the other rooms. Reason being is with my busy lifestyle it is tough to spend time with her, she loves hugging me when she is falling asleep to me there is nothing more wonderful then begining the day and ending it looking into her eyes. Yes marriage (sexually) may suffer, but, your child is truly yourS for only a few years, my spouse agrees and we make special time for us, but, do love the time we spend with her. She is at the point where she does like alittle indepence so we brought one of her beds into the room, so she falls asleep with us and then we put her in her bed. a few days ago we toured her room with her and showed her all the special things, now she says that is her room and she is ready to sleep in her princess bed, so I am a little sad but, that is part of life. Either way I may not be right but, mom’s know what is best for them and their babies, just do not let anyone make that choice for you.

Sonia on

When my 2nd child was born my husband was working 12 hour night shifts. So I was taking care of both girls almost on my own. My 2nd child from 3 weeks until 3 months had colic cried non-stop from 3pm- 10pm and was breastfeeding every 1.5 hours. With my first she slept in a bassinet in our room, but with the second i was too exhausted and put her in bed with me. She nursed on demand and slept better and I got the sleep I needed.

For the people that mention SIDS as a reason not to co sleep. Drs don’t know what really causes SIDS they give recommendations such as not putting pillows in the crib, blankets, toys, a non smoking household but many people do all of that and SIDS still happens. There have also been studies done that find that SIDS is almost non existent in 3rd world countries, and what they have found is that in those countries babies sleep in the same room as their parents and many in the same bed. Those babies do not have their own room or cribs. The studies say that hearing the parents breathing patterns subconsciously reminds the baby to breath.

The advice I always give to new moms is do what’s best for you and your baby. What works for others may not work for you and your situation.

Sara on

I was always “one of those people” who said my babies would never sleep in the bed with me. However, my now 20 month old sleeps with my husband and I every night and I wouldn’t change a thing! The first 7 months she slept in a cosleeper (the bassinet that attaches to the side of a bed) because I was so fearful of her suffocating, etc… if she slept in with us. I breastfed for 14 months, so out of convenience, I knew that I wanted her as close to me as possible. One night when she was right around 7 months, she was very restless so I put her in our bed and the rest if history :) I do have to say that it is VERY hard to get her to sleep on her own now. She wants nothing to do with her crib, so we’ve tried out her toddler bed for naps and it’s working great. However, at night she wants nothing to do with it and will only sleep with us. My husband and I both love having her close so to me it’s not an issue. The way I look at it is that she is not going to be sleeping with us when she’s 18. She’ll eventually want to be in her own room in her own bed. I’m just enjoying every second with her for now :)

joan on

From the first time I saw Mason, I was amazed at how much he looks like your father. How proud he would have been.

Chrissy on

Hi and congrats on becoming a mommy!! Co-slepping is a tough one. Enjoyable it may be, but you are at a point where you will have to choose where you want Mason to sleep for good. Between now and the begining of 8 months you need to decide. Otherwise he will stay where ever he sleeps for good.. Or at least till he’s like 6 or 7. They become secure in where they sleep and have a hard time changing that. Does he have a blaket or a “lovey” he likes? That will REALLY help! If you are his “lovey” you will never get him out of your bed. He will need you to go to sleep in a crib (carseat prob not since he’s already okay in there, but he will grow out of that carseat really soon) so give him a lovey. Start putting him in a pack and play to nap (since you travel a lot). When he grows out of his carseat he will need somewhere to sleep. If the only other place he will sleep besides his carseat is a bed then that will be difficult and dangerous. He will get so mobile and will fall out of bed a lot. These are just my learnings and suggestions. Do what works for you and Mason… Just remember, what you choose to do now will last for years to come. Good Luck.

Meg on

Good for you for trying something despite your initial preconceptions!

I co-slept with both my kids while I was nursing (daughter now 6 and son now 4) and wouldn’t have done it any other way. The only thing I did differently with my son was to give him more opportunities to sleep independently (i.e. nap time, starting each night in his crib only bringing him to bed when I went to bed, etc.). I feel like this helped him when it was eventually time to move to his own bed. My daughter had a bit more separation anxiety and I think it was because I never put her down when she was a baby! They were both in their own beds full-time by 2 years old.

Every parent/family has to make the choice that is right for them. I feel strongly that having the family bed like we did in my house has helped to keep us close – especially now that my husband and I are both working full time.

Mason is beautiful – keep up the good work!

C on

I started my kids off in their own bed at night, then if theey got up in the middle of the night, the could climb in bed with me, but even at that it was hard to get them to start staying in their own bed as time went by.
Now my granddaughter who is 5, sleeps in her own bed alnight everynight, never gets up or climbs in my son and daughter in laws bed. She slept in her own bed from day one! Now she knows when it is 8:0 clock it is bed time, she doesn;t want any lights on or her door open, she lyes right down and goes to sleep.
Co sleeping with a little one such as Mason would to me scarey, afraid of rolling over and hurting or smothering him.!

Janet on

Co-sleeping has been around since the beginning of time. Most, if not all, other cultures co-sleep do this day. Entire families sleep together not just in infancy but through adulthood. For some reason our western society has deemed it negative and wrong. All three of my boys co-slept with my husband and I and had no trouble transitioning out, quite frankly it was my husband who didn’t want to let go. After a long day at work this was a time for him to bond with his kids. Trust your instincts as they will take your far.

Karen B. on

I picked a middle of the road route. We used a cosleeper crib (it’s a 3-sided crib, with the open side lined up exactly to the bed). That way, when they woke up to nurse, I could just slide them over, nurse, and slide them back. Around 3 months, I put the baby to sleep in his/her own crib for the first “shift” of the night, and then back to the cosleeper once they woke up. That first “shift” rapidly became longer and longer, to the whole night. Both were sleeping through the whole night by 4 months. I do think sleeping in their own crib helps them develop better sleep habits. I also think it’s important to maintain a space in our home that is ours (my husband’s and mine). An adult, intimate space. It’s so easy to lose your identity as an adult, romantic couple with a baby. Lastly, I don’t want a diaper leak to be in my BED. Changing a crib is a lot less hassle than cleaning up a whole adult bed!

Shannon on

I slept with both my boys in my bed for the first few weeks. Maybe three total. When they’re first born they are just so used to hearing you breathe and your heartbeat, I think they can’t sleep without it! Plus it was the only way I could get some sleep too, baby sleeping = mommy sleeping. Once they got a little used to life outside the womb they were put in a bassinet right next to the bed. At three months they were moved to a crib in my room. My oldest was put into his own room at 16 months. I think with my second son, I’d like to move him into the room with his brother by one year. Sometimes you have to do things gradually, not only for baby to get used to separation, but for mommy too! Good luck!

Meghan on

Good for you! I really love seeing your approach to breastfeeding and co-sleeping! I hope other mothers are inspired by a celebrity like yourself. I totally agree with you about how great it is to have your baby next to you in the bed. Most adults don’t sleep alone, why should a baby, we all crave the closeness of those we love. You are creating a lasting bond with Mason and the both of you are reaping huge rewards because of it. Continue to follow your motherly instincts and you can’t go wrong!

Jacki on

Kourtney,
My son, who is almost 12, slept with us until he was almost 8. It was out of convenience and need for sleep in the beginning but quickly became a problem. We are extremely close but it does hinder your love life. My son did not nap or sleep in his crib at all. It was a very hard habit to break. I would suggest giving him as much crib time as possible. I also breast-fed so it was convenient for that reason too. People who are criticizing your decision probably know people like me!
Best of Luck,
Jacki

Erin on

Our son turned 3 in April, and he still cosleeps with us. He actually never slept in his crib! We all sleep so much better and it’s so easy for us. There is never a crib to borrow at hotels, and traveling to the grandparent’s house is easy, because we never have to make other arrangements for where he will sleep. I grew up in a “family bed” and it just seems natural that we share our bed with our son. :) You are doing a great job! And props to you for breastfeeding. Our son just weaned a couple of months ago, when he was down to nursing just once or twice a week. :)

Stayce on

Both my son and my daughter co-slept with us until each was about 18-mos. old. Neither child would sleep in a bassinet or crib, so co-sleeping worked out for all of us! Transitioning them into their own beds was never a problem, either. When we moved each into their own bed, in their own rooms, they were just fine and there was no drama.

Erica on

Kourtney, I hope you are enjoying motherhood. I can say that I didn’t encourage my oldest child (he is 14) to sleep in bed with me, as I was working an odd schedule so it normally wasn’t even an option. However, when my daughter came along….it was a different story. My husband wanted her to sleep with us, he felt as though he always knew she was safe. She slept with us until about 4 years old then we encouraged her to enjoy her newly decorated bedroom. I got a divorce that year, so she was once again sleeping in my bed. Finally, around 6 or 7 she starting sleeping on her own again. She is not clingy, needy or otherwise “traumatized” from this. She is a healthy, extremely intelligent (gifted in fact), little girl that is absolutely amazing.
This is a personal choice, I just wanted to let you know that I don’t feel any difference in my level of closeness between the 2 children even though one slept in my bed for years. Some children need the extra bonding time.
You are doing a GREAT job as a Mommy so keep up the good work! :)

Jenny on

You are right, you need to do what is best for Mason and it’s only going to get more difficult for him the longer you let him sleep in the bed with you guys. We had our babies sleep in their cribs very early on ..probably within the first month and it worked great! I highly recommend the book Babywise. That was pretty much our bible and it was SO nice to go to a place where you feel you can get answers. We pretty much followed their routine, but wasn’t so strict on it. It was nice how it allowed a schedule for your baby. They say schedules & predictability allow for your baby to feel safe & secure, they like to know what happens next. It’s also nice because it doesn’t allow them to rule you. Hope this helps!

NY on

I must say, instead of listening to the myriad opinions of many, why not listen to your own baby and to your heart?

We cosleep and have for the past 13 years with all of our children. When they are ready, they leave your bed. Some before others. It really depends on the nature of the child. Follow the lead of your child and you will not go wrong.

Hillary on

Kourtney,
FIRST cute lakers outfit! SECOND ask your Mom, she has done a wonderful job with her children and believe she would be a great person to seek advice. My son, 10 months, has ALWAYS slept in a crib… unless Daddy was not home (he works 3am-3pm 4 days a week)… It is SO HARD because you love “snuggle wuggle” with your little home, and it is a very strong bond… After some long thinking (just hit me this weekend, and talking to relationship counselor) you have to think of your bedroom as a “sanctuary”… I know sounds weird… And remember being a Mother is great, but you are also Kourtney (Daughter, Sister, Friend, Business Woman and girlfriend). So make sure you make some time for yourself as well. And I do not mean, going out a party… but “Kourt” time taking a relaxing bath when he naps and enjoy that special alone intimate time with you and Scott. Sounds easy, right? LOL I have been trying to do this but I know its hard! In the end, only you will make the best decision. <3 Kardashian Fanatic

Heather on

We let our son co sleep with us because I went back to work after he was 9 weeks and I absolutely loved the bonding time with him! I loved having him next to me and knowing he was sleeping with mommy and daddy. He’s now 7 months and sleeps in his own crib now. But I wouldn’t trade that co-sleeping time with him for anything. Trust your instincts!

Kara on

My friend had her baby sleep with her and it took 3 months of long, dramatic crying nights to finally get him in his own bed. My child slept in a bassinet right next to the bed and she slept so good on her own. Yes it is the parents right to decide what they want for their own child but as for me, when I have my next one, the baby will never sleep in the bed with me as it is too hard for the baby and parents to get them to sleep in their own bed when it is time.

Tracey on

Lets take the controversy out of it and just say to each their own. ;)

Blanka on

Hey K,

I also coslept with my son and as a breastfeeding mom it made things so much easier!!! Allthough it is true that a child who cosleeps has trouble falling asleep by himself I find that now at 24 months, I am able to let my son fall asleep in his bed by himself but I do stay with him untill he almost doses off. Sometimes he falls asleep…sometimes NOT. He does come to me at night so we wind up in the same bes in the morning but my husband’s 5 year old also comes to us at night ande he never coslept with his mom nor was he breastfed…so there you go. I was NEVER able to let him cry himself to sleep.

Nothig beats waking up next to your lill one and seeing their big smile when they see your face first thing in the morning, they WILL grow out of it sooner OR later depending on their personality.

do what feels right for you and your son.

ps. hope Scott is supportive of you as a mom cuz you really impress me with your mothering skills!!!

Sara on

My little girl hardly sleeps more than 2 hours and sometimes only for 20-30 minutes at a time without me by her side. When we bedshare she sleeps for 4-5 hours a stretch usually (or when she does wake up and wants to nurse we both don’t wake up enough to actually fully wake up…). I love it, my husband wishes that we had more room in the bed (we’re saving up for a king) so we’ve side carred her crib and I keep her in there most the time but I snuggle up to her so I’m half on the bed half on the crib.

NY on

…adding, we do not own a crib nor will we.

julia on

We didn’t officially co-sleep with our kids but we loved it when they did sleep with us. They all come back to.. my nine year old son love to snuggle sleep:)

Leah on

My son slept with me until he was 11 months. When I switched him to the crib the first 2 nights were hard and after that he adjusted fine. Two nights was worth it. The reason he still doesn’t sleep with me is that it’s a small bed and he rolls a lot so I worry he will fall out and hit his head. I never once worried about rolling on top of him. And Kourtney is right, that bonding time is amazing.

You’re a great mom Kourtney!

Mom Of Twins on

There’s nothing wrong with co-sleeping with you baby or babies. The promblem lies with the parents knowing when enough is enough. By the time my twins turned 3 years old, I’d had enough of almost having my light kicked out by little feet or fist. However, I wouldn’t have changed the experience for anything in the world. I remember when I use to sleep with my parents. Thanks Mom & Dad.

lilmommaoftwo on

I have a 2 year old and 4 1/2 year old. We have co-slept with each. When our 2nd child was born, we moved our oldest to a toddler bed in our room for saftey reasons. Co-sleeping is simply the way my mother instincts pointed me and I would not change this for anything. I breastfed both off my children and co-sleeping seemed like a good fit—we both slept better yet were completely aware of each others presence at all times. There are measures you take to make your “family bed” safe for your baby…ie: remove extra pillows and blankets and neither parents should ever be intoxicated—in any way—when they go to bed where they would sleep heavier than normal. They make something called a “family sleeper” that is great for those who have babies in the bed and are worried about them rolling off the bed (made of organic, breathable material). In many countries, co-sleeping is the most accepted practice and they look at American’s almost funny when they hear about little ones sleeping not only in their own bed…but in their own room. Co-sleeping may not be for everyone, but it has really been a precious for our family and I think I will be a bit sad when I move the kids into their own room.

Carrie R. on

We co-slept with both our boys. My oldest had a little bit of difficulty when we bought him a toddler bed and started having him sleep in there. He just turned 3 and sleeps all night in his big boy bed now. My youngest just turned 1 and he still sleeps with us. It’s very comforting to wake up in the middle of the night or in the morning and see him right there peacefully sleeping.

Tammy on

My little girl is 5 months old and she has been sleeping with me from day one! Granted the first couple of months, I would either sleep sitting up on the couch/chair with her in my arms (it was just easier that way to for me to breastfeed) – but after awhile, I was getting sick of not being able to stretch out…so we moved to the bed. She has been turning over on her own since she was 3.5 months – so I figured if she could do that, she was plenty fine being in bed with us.
I LOVE having her in the bed with me. Just like you Kourtney, I cherish that bondly time with my little one. I love having her wake up next to me with those big blue eyes and smile.
I don’t know how much longer my husband will allow this to go on… (hehe…he’s not really big on the idea) but my parents did this with me and all four of my younger sibilings until we were about 2 or 3 years, and we all moved onto our own beds fine. I just think it’s a personal decision, and you will know when it’s time to move on from the co-sleeping and work on the ‘big boy’ bed! :)

Good luck – but right now, I would enjoy it! :)

Mom2Twins on

I had read too many horror stores concerning co-sleeping (not just SIDS), plus my husband and I are tall, bigger people so there just wasn’t any room for two infants.
It’s her decision to co-sleep or not, but I just think this creates a problem when the child is older and you want to transfer them to their own bed. A good friend co-slept with her child from birth to 3 years old and I know she is still working on getting him to sleep in his own bed, whereas we have never had that issue.

Emily on

You should do what is right for you. Especially since you are breastfeeding, co-sleeping can be a great choice. I can’t find the article now, but I recently read something about co-sleeping being safe for breastfed babies under the right circumstances, but not for formula fed ones under any circumstance.

I am breastfeeding, but for the most part we all sleep better when my daughter is in her crib. I put her there instead of the bassinet by the bed one night when she was 7 weeks old, and she has slept very soundly ever since. You have to go with what works for you. I actually wish co-sleeping worked better for us, but I’ll look forward to when she can run in on her own to snuggle in the morning- once she can walk that is!

Halley on

I love co-sleeping with my son, I always have. When he was little, there was nothing I loved more than my son, husband, and I all sleeping next to each other.

I followed his cues and when he was ready, the transition to his own bed was easy. He’s six now and still sleeps with us sometimes. I absolutely love it.

Mason isnt going to want to sleep in your bed for the rest of his life. Like most other things, he will make the transition in his own time, and if its the right time for him, you wont have to push him at all. He’ll just do it. Its the same thing with potty training. I say enjoy co-sleeping for as long as it lasts!

Lisa on

I co-slept and breastfed with my first 2 kids for the first 6 months of their lives. My oldest is 2.5, my youngest is 15 months, and I’m expecting my 3rd in November and will do the same. It got me sleep and I felt an amazing bond with my kids :)

Amy on

I have co-slept with my daughter since she was born (she is now 1 1/2) and I find it to be a rewarding, safe, and loving experience for the whole famly. We live in a culture where independence is valued above all else, which is why we isolate our babies at night. It is very unnatural that as adults we love to sleep with our partners for their love and warmth, and yet we isolate newborns and infants, who are the most vulnerable members of the family unit. It makes no sense whatsoever, and it is probably one of the reasons why we have the highest rate of SIDS in the world (the baby needs the mother’s breath and heartbeat to help regulate his/her own). I know that when the time is right FOR HER, my daughter will eventually move to her own bed (which is set up for her to use whenever she chooses). Thanks for discussing this very important topic, and for mothering with intention.

goodmama on

sweetheart, it sounds like you know EXACTLY what you are doing, so i’d just keep on doing that! it if feels right to have him in your bed with you, then keep him there for as long as it works for both of you. when it starts to not work, thats when its time for a change. we also cosleep with my son (19 months) and love, love, love it. almost all of my friends have coslept with their kiddos too, and almost every single one decided to move out on their own at around 3 yrs old. it was most definitely NOT a battle with any of them, either.

what you are doing is providing Mason with your presence and love — even at nighttime when he sleeps! — and there is no greater gift you can give him; you are his absolute everything right now.

i dont think you really need anyone else’s opinion on this — YOU are the one who knows whats best for you all. keep up the GREAT work, mama! so proud of you!

Casey on

kudos to you kourtney for doing what feels right! Sleeping in separate beds is a “luxury” found mainly in wealthy countries. Most babies around the world–especially in the developing world–sleep with their mothers. Thanks for being a visible advocate for breastfeeding and cosleeping!

Samantha on

Kourtney! I absolutely love you and your sister. You are all role models to me because you all have amazing curves and work them. You are all real women.
As for sleeping in the bed… My mom and dad let me sleep in there bed when i was younger and then i would throw tantrums if I had to sleep in my own bed. I also was afraid to sleep on my own because of the safe feeling i had when i slept with them. It wasn’t until I was at least 7 years old. I think sleeping with your child is a great experience (I don’t have kids I’m only 19 but when I watch my baby cousin we fall asleep together and it is the most calming experience in the world). When i have kids I will also have them sleep in the bed with me but not past 1 and a half. At two my mom said is when I got hooked on sleeping in there bed with them or in there room.
Hope I gave you some insight for how it is for the child!
You are an amazing beautiful women!

Carla on

A baby belongs in a crib, not their parents bed. I know people who REALLY regret EVER letting their child sleep with them because then when they wanted the child to sleep in their own bed it was a HUGE battle. Besides, who wants to wake up with pee and/or poop in their bed? I certainly DO NOT. My baby sleeps in her OWN BED. She gets plenty of cuddles and lovin’ during the day!

Jill on

I feel it is a choice only to be made by each individual. Before I had my daugther (3 1/2) I would have said co-sleeping wasn’t a good idea. But we do it still!

It started when I was at my wits end of exhaustion…you will do anything to get that baby to sleep so you can too. My daughter napped in her crib and once she moved to a bed. I would say for the most part she sleeps most night in my bed but she doesn’t have any adjustment issues in her bed, she wil go in her room and put herself to nap/bed and is completeley fine with it.

The bond that you form with your child by co-sleeping is amazing and uncomparable.

The next questions is…at what age do you say no more sleeping in my bed??

Good Luck Kourtney!

Anonymous on

Kourtney, Just be very careful, I know someone who let her daughter sleep in bed with her and her daughter died in the middle of the night at four months, I know mason is already older than that but just be careful!

Holly on

MY son always slept in a crib by our bed side. Until he was 2 months old then we moved him into his crib.
When he would wake in the middle of the night and I had a hard time getting him back to sleep i would allow him to lay in bed with us until he was back asleep and then I would move him back to his crib.
As he got older he realized that when he would wake up in the middle of the night that he would get to sleep with mommy and daddy and it turned into a habbit. And it turned into an every night occurrence.
I had to break that habbit as he is now 16 months old and flip flops all around the bed and it makes it very hard for my husband and I to get a good nights rest.
Since we’ve broken the habbit of him waking in the middle of the night to get into bed with us, he now looks forward to our morning routen of getting out of his crib and crawling in bed with us when he is awake.
I loved the cuddle time I would get with him when he slept with us, but when it reached the point of my sleeping being interrupted (which would make for a long work day the next day) I knew I couldn’t let him continue to sleep with us.

It is a mothers choice and you will know when it is time to either keep allowing Mason to sleep with you or start letting him sleep in his crib for the night.
Best of luck! Being a Mother is the by far the best title in the world!

Heidio on

As a grandparent, I was very disapproving of my grandson co-sleeping with his parents. In fact he did not even have a bed of his own until he was 6yrs old when I bought him one. But he virtually never slept in it until he was around 10 yrs. The up side is that he was a very portable child, able to sleep anywhere. At my house he slept with me which I loved. And I have to say, now, at 17yrs he is one of the nicest, well-adjusted kids I have ever seen or known, and that’s what everyone who knows him says, not just me, proud Granny. So I say GO FOR IT! Just make sure it doesn’t interfere with your primary relationship with Scott.

stacy on

I firmly believe cosleeping is dangerous and should be avoided, especially for infants. While removing the pillows helps remove some danger, there is still the issue of blankets on the bed, as well as the added dangers of mommy or daddy accidentally getting too close and hindering breathing. If the AAP directs that crib bumpers are too dangerous due to the fact that they restrict oxygen flow, I feel that the parental bed is far more dangerous than that. As the mom of 7 month old twins, who is still breastfeeding, I just wouldn’t want to take the risk. A study was recently published in our local paper that most SIDS deaths are, in fact, not truly SIDS, as the majority of them were linked to cosleeping.
That being said, I have friends who do cosleep and enjoy it. It is just definitely not something I would even consider.

Jennifer on

When my son was born 5 weeks early due to my very high blood pressure, I didn’t get to see him until he was 4 days old. This was due to the medication I was on to lower and control my blood pressure. Doctors thought that the medicine could pass on to the baby through skin to skin contact. So everyone in my family and friends got to hold him before me. It took me a long time (in my view) to bond with him. One of the ways I did that was when he woke up in the middle of the night and after I feed him, I would lay him on my chest and we would fall asleep together in my bed. If I was still awake when he fell asleep, I would put him in his crib. Now he sleeps in his own bed, but still wakes up in the middle of the nights sometimes when he’s teething or hot and not feeling good. I put him in bed with me and he goes right back to sleep. Like someone said before, it’s up to each individual mother when it comes to co-sleeping.

Jenn on

Look up SIDS.

Melissa on

Trust your instincts… With my oldest, I listened to everyone else and had many battles and not as much bonding. With my next child, she slept in my arms for the first two weeks and then intermittently after that for nursing. (Co-sleeping makes nursing MUCH easier.) With my youngest, I finally just fully trusted myself. He slept with us quite a bit and when he got too big, we put a toddler bed in our room and then later a twin mattress… then eventually it made it to his room. Just when the timing felt right. Trust yourself and Mason, too… he’ll tell you what he needs and that relationship is the right one and the only one that matters. :)

Sacha on

My daughter didn’t start sleeping with me until she was almost 4 months old and was in my bed until last year at the age of 4 years old. It was the most amazing experience to be able to cuddle with her every night. But I will admit, getting her into her own bed was a bit of a task. It took her about a month to be able to sleep thru the night in her room and she still occasionally tries to slip into my bed…but I wouldn’t trade that time with her for anything. I realize that people have different opinions on this topic, but I think it comes down to your own personal desires as a parent. I honestly plan on letting my new baby sleep with me, the only difference being that I will most likely make the transition to their own bed at the age of 2 as opposed to 4. :)

Lara on

So my oldest son slept with my husband and me for about 18months i would say. Although it was because i am deaf in my right ear and can’t hear and still to this day can’t hear him when he get’s scared, it helped me because i could feel him move when he got upset or needed to be feed. Yes it was a little hard to get him in his own bed once he got older and still have times where he wont sleep on his own. I say it’s a price you pay and i don’t think it hurts to have you child with you. Just takes time for them to get used to the change as long as you are willing to expect that then why not.

Natalia on

I have an 8 1/2 month old son who is breastfed and has never taken milk from a bottle! I’m lucky enough to be a stay at home mom in this economy so I let my son reap the full benefits of it. Mateo does co-sleep with my fiancé and I because I do enjoy the nightly bonding and convenience of feeding him before he started sleeping through the night. I myself slept with my parents until I was 2 and moved to my own “big girl” bed without a tear! People who think it’ll be a struggle or stunts your childs development are wrong…if you’re nine and still in bed with mom and dad then we should worry, but 2 is no big deal! Once a kid catches wind of a special big kid bed they’re to excited to be nervous!

romy on

kourtney, I also wanted to say that no matter where Mason sleeps put an oscilating fan on in the room. That is supposed to help protect against sids. It made me feel more comfortable when my babies started sleeping in their own rooms, that and a video monitor. I know Mason’s already 6 months, but it still helps. And one more thing, will you address comments about Scott in these blogs? It is so hard to watch him on your show. You seem like a great mother without him.

Kimberly on

My daughter is almost 5 months old, and she sleeps in a cradle right next to my bed. She’s such a light sleeper, that I think she’d wake up if we had her in bed with us – I’ve actually tried napping with her, and it never lasts very long. She will continue sleeping next to me in the cradle until she gets over her acid reflux, because numerous times during the night I have to pat her back to sleep. The reflux causes her to semi-wake throughout the night. So for selfish reasons, she’s staying next to my bed so that I don’t have to get up, get out of bed, walk down the hall and pat her back to sleep every hour! Having her sleep next to me is what’s best for all of us. Looks like you’re doing great so far, so just keep doing what’s best for you!

Samantha on

I did both, I let my oldest daughter sleep with us for the first two+ years and it was a struggle to get her to finally sleep in her own bed. But she did finally do it and now loves it. My youngest daughter only came into our bed when she was nursing, there were a handful of times when I was just too exhusted to get up and take her into her crib but I didn’t make a habit of it. I am glad we did this with her because she is on a good sleep schedule and loves when it’s night night time or nap time. It’s a tough call that’s for sure but I would just do what you want, there is no right or wrong way. Mason is your child and I wouldn’t do what everyone else tells you do what you want. Besides you do things and then you learn from them like all things. Good luck and Mason is absolutely adorable!

Jill on

I did have my daughter sleep with me; she was born 8 weeks prematurely and was in the hospital for four weeks after delivery. She slept on my chest for the first year of her life because both she and I got more rest that way. She was playing catch-up and she breastfed for 45 minutes at a time about 1.5 hours apart around the clock for the first five months of her life. In order to get sleep, that’s what I had to do. I admit, I loved it. She and I were (and still are) super bonded. She’s 10 now and very well-adjusted. She has no fear issues or separation anxiety. She is just incredibly close to her mommy. Don’t let anyone tell you what they think you should do. Do whatever works for you and precious Mason. You can never get this time back; soak up every moment you can. I have never regretted it.

Krystal on

I felt the same way about my daughter, I wanted her to sleep with me. At first when she was little it was no big deal but by the time she was about 10 months I decided to try her sleeping in her crib. It was the best thing I could have done. She is 2 1/2 now and goes to sleep on her own in her own bed. She is no longer in a crib so it is very important that she stay in bed. Every once in a while if she is having a tough night or doesn’t feel good I will bring into my bed but that is only on occasion. Once you make it a habit it tends to stick. And lets be honest, usually you want them to sleep with you for you. There are even some days when my husband isn’t home and I don’t want to be alone…then I go into her room to maybe bring her in with me and she is sound asleep, comfortable, and very peaceful. At that point I usually let her be. I know a lot of people that slept with their child and now their kids won’t sleep without them. That can get tough especially if you won’t be there some nights and someone else has to get them off to bed. I think your safe right now but as he gets older it will only get harder for him to sleep by himself in his own room, in his own bed. My sister-in-law did that and couldn’t get her son to sleep by himself until he was 10. She was divorced and lonely, but when she did finally meet someone they ended splitting up because he could never stay the night because her son would have to be in bed with them and that is just not comfortable!

Elana on

My son is 7 months old, and he has been sleeping with me since I brought him home from the hospital! I tried, intitially, to place him in his crib when he fell asleep, but I was such a first time mother that I constantly kept getting up to check on him. I got worried that he would stop breathing or something and I wouldn’t be able to hear him or see him even though the crib was a mear 5 feet from our bed. So I started allowing him to sleep with us and I love it! I love watching him sleeping and I am the first person he sees when he wakes and he will smile and normally not even cry. He even, now, will just lay there and play or try to crawl and allow me a few more minutes of much needed sleep. I truly beleive it helps mother and child to bond and you are already a great mom so just trust your natural instincts! :)

Angela on

I raised 9 children and slept with them all..each in turn.(Yes..I breastfed at least a year if not longer.) Not one is weird or twisted and each has whatever measure of success in life to which they have aspired.

Sleep with Mason if you feel like it…he will be a grown man before you even know it so don’t worry about it. There is a naysayer for everything and you simply cannot listen. I feel for new mothers because they are so insecure and there is an “expert” writing a book a minute!

Good job!
Angela

kate in Michigan on

Co-sleeping is fine, but having little Mason improperly buckled in his carseat is much more controversial.

His chest buckle should be at his nipple line not at the buckle, and his shoulder straps should be in the notch that is BELOW his shoulders.

Hope this helps keep the lil’ guy safe.

Sarah on

Cricket… Co-Sleeping never hurt our intimate moments ;)
We can have sex even with baby awake, it just doesn’t bother us because it’s all natural anyways.

romy on

wow the comments are flying here! another thing on co-sleeping, they say not to do it if a parent is drinking or doing drugs. Unless Scott doesn’t drink much ‘in real life’ I would say that is harmful. I know the show isn’t exactly reality, but he seems to drink a lot on it.

Ashley on

Hey Kourtney,

All four of my children slept in my bed. When they were newborns, they slept in a bassinet. As they got around 3 months is when I would put them in our bed. I personally love having my babies in bed with me. Then I was able to breastfeed laying down, rather then sitting up dozing off while bfing. Once my kids were weaned around 12-16 months, they got moved to their own bed. Since that is finally when they were able to sleep completely through the night.

Yes, this is a VERY controversial issue. But, as I always say, “Do what YOU feel is right for YOU and YOUR baby.” :-)

Debbie on

I personally did not have my children sleep with me and my husband because i have twin boys and our bed isnt big enough! but my sister in-law did and now that her son is almost 2 they can not get him to sleep in his own bed at all…its a fight every night…now every child is different so to each there own….in my case i opted not to i needed that alone time…good luck tho

Elizabeth on

Kourtney,

Co-sleeping is definitely a hot topic nowadays. You both seem to be taking the appropriate precautions now in removing the pillows from your bed. I agree, the cuddle factor is pretty hard to pass up right about now.

This having been said, our 3-year old is still in our bed, and it took until 4.5 years before our older daughter would sleep by herself. They do get awfully cozy with Mom and Dad. If you guys can battle through when it comes time for your little one to move into his room, then I would just enjoy this time with him.

Enjoy!

Elizabeth

Geneva on

Each child comes with their own needs and preferences. My son would only sleep in my arms for the first ten months of his life, so I kept him in the bed with me. When he suddenly stopped being able to sleep with me, I transitioned him to his crib. He still woke fairly often until he was 18 months. My daughter, who is now 11 weeks old does not sleep well in the bed with me at all. She sleeps best on her own. I miss that sweet co-sleeping time, but this is what she prefers and how she rests the best, so this is what we’re going with.

Christy on

Both of my children never slept in bed with me unless they were sick. They’ve both been really independent. My kids won’t go to bed unless they are in their own beds.

But it’s all up to each individual mother.

Kelly on

Amber- please cite which studies show that “co-sleeping causes emotional problems”.
By this logic millions of people throughout the entire world have “emotional problems”.
It is dishonest and irresponsible to “quote” imagined studies to bolster your personal opinion.

Mandi on

My son is 14 months old and he still sleeps in bed with me. I’m a single mom and sleep is a necessity. He sleeps through the night if he’s with me, but in his crib he’ll wake up a few times during the night so I keep him in bed with me usually. He does nap in his crib and will sleep there too sometimes. Good for you on bonding more with your little man!

Sarah on

Aren’t you at all concerned about smothering him, being that he is so little? Sure, I’d like to let my child ride on my lap in the car — it would be more convenient and more fun, but it’s unsafe. At which point I have to ask myself: Is this meeting my needs or his?

G on

As a busy mother I am sure you have had to arrange for someone else to watch your son – relative, nanny, whomever? – if your child is used to co-sleeping are you really comfortable with someone else possibly having to sleep with him?

Anonymous on

i fully fully understand the position you are in…my son is now 11 months old and he coslept with myself & my husband (and our dog) until he was 9 months old…i wasnt 100% ready to let him move to his own room but he started to become restless during the night and after 3 nights straight of no sleep we decided to give it a try in his crib and he slept amazingly!!! im exclusively breastfeeding too and he still likes to wake up 1-2 times a nite to nurse and occasionally ill bring him into our bed in the morning & he and i will sleep in together and he does just fine. i think as long as you and mason are thriving you should let him continue in your bed. if it starts to affect your relationship with scott or if mason starts showing signs of becoming restless at night then i say it may be time to try him on his own but dont do anything just because everyone else says its wrong.

Jennifer on

I have a daughter who is one month older than Mason. We enjoy the bonding of co-sleeping, to a point. At night, it’s our routine to feed her and than have her lay on me snuggled up like her little lovebug self. Once, she is almost soundly asleep, I move her to her own crib, in her own room. Her monitor is always on, but I enjoy the “sleeping” time with my husband. He have to keep our relationship top priority so that we know our little lady love will grow up in a relationship with two happy parents who love and adore both her and each other! I love readying your baby blog, and ran right out to get Sophie the Giraffe after a recent post of yours, and our babe just loves her!

Erin on

Such a sweet pic! Our little guy has the same car seat!
Anyway, our little dude slept in a bassinet in our room for the first 4 months, but he ended up co-sleeping for a few hours each night when we both fell asleep breastfeeding. :) I thought I would never let him sleep in our bed because I was paranoid about safety, but I was so exhausted those first few months, I just couldn’t help it!
We did transition him after four months to his own crib in his own room–when he got too big for his bassinet and when I started getting sick from waking up so much at night. It took him three hours the first night to fall asleep in his own crib, and then 45 minutes, and then a half hour, and now he’s usually asleep within a few minutes, and everybody gets full night’s sleep, thank God.
But like the other Mamas said, you gotta do what works for you and your little guy!

Amanda on

We have 3 little ones. With our first, I coslept until she was 3 months old, the very first night in her crib in her own room she slept through the night and slept wonderfully from that point on! With out second, I was so tired and thought cosleeping would get me more sleep, wrong, she was up all night wanting to eat with me right next to her, all the way up until she was 20 months old when I finally weaned her and put her in her own crib and it was HARD, hard on me, hard on her, and I vowed never again. It was nice waking up to baby smiles but I really think it’s healthy for kids to learn to put themselves to sleep from an early age. I personally think that is easier when they are infants as opposed to toddlers. Again, I coslept with our son until he was 3-4 months old and now he is in his own crib and does very well. This is also nice for the fact that I don’t need to go to bed when he does and other people can put him to sleep. It’s just a lot less stressful for me, and I tried to cosleep with him just the other weekend (6.5 months) and we both slept awful, which reinforced the fact that we’re both better off with him sleeping in his own space.

I didn’t see anyone else mention it but I thought I should let you know. The chest clip when our LOs are in their car seats should be up by their armpits rather than down by their bellies. :)

Caitlin on

All three of my children (6, 3, and 1) have co-slept in my bed. The 3-year-old still comes in to cuddle with me every morning and at nights when he has nightmares. I cherish it– they are only little for a while! Also, I believe that cribs are actually implicated in more deaths than co-sleeping is. Did you hear about the recent HUGE crib recall? Scary. Co-sleeping deaths are caused by intoxicated adults, not because co-sleeping is inherently dangerous. Never drink and co-sleep! I believe co-sleeping is safer. I actually have seen evidence that it prevents SIDS. Check out the research of Dr. James McKenna. And I believe that you cannot force independence nor train it into a child. Confidence and self-reliance are nurtured through a strong attachment to the caregivers. Good luck! You’re a great mom!

Carisa on

I actually went through the same thing. I nursed both of my kids for a year and it was so much easier for me to feed them and then just go to sleep. I think it definitely makes them feel safe. And they will never be this age again,so I have no regrets. They are three and six now and still love sleeping with us. So it definitely makes it harder to get them out of your bed but in the end, it is doing them no harm. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with your kids feeling safe and secure with you. Love your show by the way! We need a boutique in sd! Carisa

Andrea on

Sleeping with baby is the SAFEST way to arrange sleep if it is done properly. Dr. James McKenna “Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them” has a sleep research laboratory and focuses on SIDS prevention. http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/babies_need.html

WD on

My son slept with me until he was a year old. He had no problem going into a crib after that. Do what feels right for you and your family.

celia on

My 3 year old sleep with me most of the time,but he knows what his bed is and sleeps in it.As a baby i had him in his crib and toddler bed.i agree let mason take naps in his crib so he know what it is and it wont be so hard on you later!Even tho my son sleep with me he is very independent little boy!It is whatever you feel is right!

Jamie on

I have a friend who let both of her kids sleep with her and her husband and guess what they are 9 and 3 and they still sleep with them!!!! Maybe she should try harder to get them in there own bed but I just feel that is crazy!

Nancy S on

Our daughter (2) is just now trasitioning to her own bed (we have a new arrival on the way) – she’s spent the last 2 years in our bed between us, and while we all loved it – we’re all ready for it to come to an end, her included, she wants her space now she’s bigger.
Co-sleeping is absolutely safe so long as you do it the right way.

Arianne huges on

My 2 yo never had a crib. We had a cosleeper bassinet when he was a newborn which I would reccomend to any mom breastfeeding or not. When he out grew his bassinet he slept in bed with my husband and I. He now has the bottom bunk bed and his half brother has the top. He still sneaks into bed with us at night sometimes. But if he feels the need to be close to us we don’t discourage him. By the time he starts school he won’t want to be all snuggly and cuddly with Mom and Dad so we are enjoying every second we can get!

Claire on

Kourtney,
Trust your own mothering instincts. From what I’ve seen and read you are an incredible mother and it will show in 20 years when you see the loving, kind hearted, polite young man you raised.

All mine nursed a little beyond a year, including twins, some slept with me, some didn’t. It’s about reading their cues because they are each individuals. I have four and they are not cookie cutter images of each other.

All the best.

sam on

My ex-husband was against co-sleeping with my first child but when I had my second and 3rd babies with my second husband, they both co-slept. Best decision I ever made! I so wish I could go back and do it again with my first! They both went to own beds when they were ready. No fuss, no fight.

I will even admit that my youngest (she’s 6) isn’t feeling well, we kick dad to the couch and she gets to sleep with me. We both sleep better that way when she’s sick.

Ultimately, I think you have to go with your gut and do whatever YOU feel is best. Mother’s instincts are seldom wrong!

Karen on

Glad you removed the pillows. Too many babies smother that way. The kids slept with us really only if if they were sick, especially a fever. I just felt better knowing I was right there if they needed me. I didn’t let it become a habit because I was scared they would become dependent on sleeping with us. Also, there’s really not much intimacy (sexual or not) with the baby in the bed.

Deb on

My cousin killed her son as he was sleeping in bed with her. Obviously she didn’t do it on purpose but rolled onto him. Wouldn’t want to take that chance.

Gretchen on

How do you call sleeping together spending quality time. You’re asleep?

Courtney on

My daughter is 11 months old now and slept with us for the first 6 months. She sleeps in her crib now but my husband and I still have nights where we let her sleep with. We loved having her next to us all night and waking up and seeing her adorable little face next to ours.

sharon on

The real problem with co-sleeping with a child under 1 year old, is the danger of rolling on them and suffocating them. There have already been 2 incidents of that very thing happening in Milwaukee this year, resulting in the child’s death. I think it’s great to snuggle with them in the morning when there is no danger of falling asleep.

katie on

There will be a time where your child will want to be all grown up, on the go away from mom and dad, too busy for you, as parents. I say embrace the love and bond while you can! The kids won’t be 20 and sleeping in the bed with mom and dad, at least i don’t think.

AC on

Co-slept with both babies when they were waking up in the night to be fed and stayed pretty still on their backs. Moved them into the crib as soon as they could really roll around and preferred sleeping on their tummies. My movements would wake them up, and their moving would wake me up so we both slept better when they were older if they were in the crib. When they were newborns we both slept better together as I could keep one eye on them, I would be up a lot at night anywhere, and could just roll to the side, half asleep, to feed them and they would drift right back to sleep.

amandamay on

From reading the comments it seems to me there are 2 “paths” with co-sleeping. If you’re like me (and many of the other family-bed commenters) you have no expectation of WHEN your child leaves the family bed – It is up to him/her. Therefore, there is no “When little Billy turned 2 we couldn’t get him out of our bed for all the tea in China!!” because we don’t expect our kids to be forced out of our family beds at a certain age (So there is no battle over moving out of the parents’ room). However, if you DO expect that at age 1 or 2 (or whatever) your child will be made to go to their own bed, perhaps co-sleeping will be more difficult.

Traci on

When I saw what this topic was I knew there was going to be a bunch of comments. lol.

NY on

Please make sure that you co-sleep safely. Put the bed on the floor and up against a wall to ensure no gaps. Always place baby between you and the wall. Never between you and the father. Mothers are more in-tune to their babies and aware while sleeping that their babies are there.

The concept that relations between a mother and a father must only happen in a bed and at night are, well…unreal. We have co-slept (and co-sleep) for years with all of our children and private time with my husband has never been an issue. Use some imagination people.

Tara on

I have 2 kids my daughter is 3 and son is 10 months. I let my daughter sleep in bed with us from newborn until 6 months and what I found was that I wasnt getting great sleep cuz I was constantly sleeping with 1 eye opened but I thought my daughter was sleeping great. Well once she turned 6 months I decided to have her start using her crib and the transition was torture cuz she wanted us but we got thru it and what I realized was not only was I much more refreshed having a great nights sleep but she was actually much happier cuz she was getting a much better sleep. When I had my son I started putting him in his crib from the start and now he adores his crib and everyone in the house is so much happier cuz we are all well rested. So just thought I would share my experience. good luck

Jeniece on

I let my daughter sleep with me when I had an apartment. I bought a house and fixed up her room so cute and she did not want to sleep in her own bed in her own room. It was so hard to get her out of sleeping with me, but after about six months she wanted to sleep in her own room. So yes it will be hard, but luckily you have plenty time until then. Good luck with your decision

single mommy on

my son was a sick infant. He had reflux and chronic ear infections. Due to both of these issues, he could not lay flat on his back. I had to tend to his cries everytime as I was not sure if his ears or tummy was bothering him. He slept with me, in his swing or his car seat…I had a Beautiful crib set and he NEVER spent one night in it… I am single and have raised my son alone since the day he was born. It was/is so awesome to have that snuggle time. If i were in a relationship/married I think co-sleeping could negativly impact that relationship, but being single its not an issue for me. My son is now 6 and he still sleeps in my bed.. My friends (most of them married) critize me all the time. But it just seems silly for only 2 of us to be in this big house and him be at the other end of the hall. Sleeping is our favorite time of the day… we talk about our day, whats going on tomorrow and our dreams.. its the most quality time we have. My son is very active in many sports and activities and its our only down time. I believe he will naturally grow out of it…. as his friends are over more and he has sleep overs.. it is natural for children to grow up and want thier independance…

Kelly S on

Co-sleeping should be the least of her worries if she is actually going anywhere with him in the car seat like he is.

Autumn on

I did have my son sleep with me when he was real young to help him feel secure but I also think it’s important that you don’t let it go on for too long or they will not want to sleep by themselves in their own crib. It took quite a few nights of listening to him cry to try to settle himself down to sleep. The longer he sleeps with you, the harder it will be to break him of the habit. But, like other people have mentioned, I don’t knock people for doing it. I just like to enjoy my time with my husband in our own bed and not have a child in there every night sleeping with you.

larissa on

i have a beautiful daughter whom is almost 4 she has never once slept either in her crib or her bed now. she has always slept with us in the bed. she wouldnt even sleep in a toddler bed in our room. i love sleeping next to her all the time. but she is getting pretty big and i would wish she would start to sleep in her room. i have tried several times and she will not i dont know when she will be able to sleep on her own.. i am also scared to let her be all alone in her room even though i have baby monitors and scensored cameras in there. in a good way yea its awsome to let them sleep with you but it will take longer for them to get used to sleeping on their own.

Vicky on

Co-sleeping is extremely unsafe and fosters very bad habits in children. If you must co-sleep, start transitioning him around 8 or 9 months. If you wait til he’s a toddler, you’ll have a hell of a time getting him out of your bed. It’s best to not even start the habit in the first place, as it only really benefits the mother since she doesn’t have to get out of bed. Babies tend to sleep worse and want to nurse all night when co-sleeping. It’s also the “trendy” thing to do. Check any parenting board and you’ll see complaints about not being able to sleep well or transition the kid out of the bed. No thanks.

Your choice, but it seems like a bad scene and I never did it with any of my children. They all sleep well with no problems.

Michelle on

We used the co-sleep method with both of our kids, ages 4 and 2 1/2. When my daughter was born, she slept in a bassinet next to our bed. She woke up several times a night, as normal. When she was about 3 months old, we were in a hotel and she would not go to sleep in the pack n play bassinet, so I put her in between us and that was the first time that she slept all night. That was the beginning of co-sleeping for us. If she felt more secure in our bed and it enabled her to sleep through the night, then it would be benefiting all of us. She was only 18 months old when my son was born, so needless to say, we all co-slept. It really was not that difficult to get them in their own room, but it was easier because we put them together like they were used to – toddler beds, right next to each other. I think that co-sleeping is a beautiful thing and it’s a wonderful bonding experience for everyone involved.

DC on

Baby sleeping with you seems like a really good idea and you enjoy that time, but what about your spouse/partner? Also, you will have trouble in time to come getting the little one to go sleep in his/her own bed/room. Break this cycle now before you find it to hard to do so.

annette on

I loved having my babies in our bed. to make it safe we had a wedge for the baby. we also had no pillows etc. but the babies loved it! and my boys are both really independant now! so, if you love it, do it, but be careful!!

Cindy on

My son will be a year on Friday and he sleeps with us and although I love it I am also torn. I want him to sleep in his crib and have my time with my hubby but he just will not. I am so scared that as he gets older it will get harder. My pediatrician has been getting on to us since my son was 4 months that he needed to sleep in his crib but we keep letting him back in our bed. I’m interested to see what others think. It’s hard but I honestly wish I could get him in his crib, I think he would sleep through the night as it is he wakes up at least once or twice. :/

Krista on

I co-slept with my daughter for the first 8 or 9 months of her life. We never had a problem and loved every minute of it! I made sure that my husband and I were always completely sober and neither of us is obese so we really had little to worry about. You’d be surprised at how aware you become with you baby sleeping next to you. I would often wake up right before her because I heard her stirring. She transitioned from our bed to a twin mattress on the floor next to ours. She is now 15 months old and sleeps on her mattress on the floor in her own room and sleeps like an angel! I often fall asleep with her for a bit when I put her to bed at night because I miss sleeping with her. Congrats on your new baby boy, keep up the good work!

Jennifer on

I believe that each parent has to make this decision and it shouldn’t matter what anyone else says. it’s like the debate of Breastfeeding vs. Formula. Someone is ALWAYS going to have an opinion that is different from your own.

My daughter started to sleep with me when she was 2 years and 8 months old. She had meningitis and was hospitalized for 5 days. After that it was more of a comfort thing for her to be next to me because I was one very scared mother.

She turned 8 in March and in February she decided it was “her” time to sleep in her own room in her own bed and you know what? I miss her sleeping next to me but it was a decision that she made all on her own and I’m proud of her.

My son on the other hand since he has always seen his sister sleeping in my bed has slept with me from the age of probably 16 or 18 months. He just turned 3 last week and like you, I love that time. Yeah, it’s annoying sometimes to get a little foot up your behind in the middle of the night but there is nothing like waking up to the the smell of your babies breathe.

brokeharvardgrad on

I think it depends on the parent and child relationship. I know some parents who always put their child into a crib, rigid routine, stopped any sort of feeding at night,etc. Then the parents found that when they traveled somewhere, their baby never slept, couldn’t sleep anywhere but the crib. Travel was a nightmare, food changes were hugely disruptive, and the children had a very rough time. Now the parents simply never take their kids, because it’s too hard to deal with a child who won’t sleep anywhere else. I also have noticed that babies who aren’t attended to, as in the “cry it out” method, always cry louder, longer and more intensely for smaller issues, as their parents have conditioned them that the parents will respond only to screaming, particularly in bed. Bedtimes become a fight when the kids get old enough to not be in a crib, which is what “held them in” before. Personally I can’t look at cribs as anything beyond our dog cage, and I remember being in a crib and being terrified at the babysitter’s. I had been put in a crib as a baby and apparently always climbed out, until my mom just laid my twin and I on a mattress on the floor in our rooms. As far as the parental “time” goes, I suppose that if the only place you and your spouse or partner have intimacy is in the bed, then it would seem natural to not interrupt that. If your intimacy doesn’t always occur in bed, and I am not talking just sex, then the bed space doesn’t need to be protected as “parent time.” Then again though, it depends on the parents. Our family has a very fluid travel schedule, which requires a fluid sleep schedule, an ability to adapt quickly depending on our business schedule. You may keep your security for your baby transitioning into a toddler, child, etc. in other ways. Co-sleeping didn’t lead to any kind of regressive tendency to only sleep with mom and dad for us, but breastfeeding gradually became storytime without milk, because I regularly read to her at night, nursing or not. Now that she is older, we all snuggle down with books on a big bed for family reading time, and then we move to our own beds. I love family reading time, first reading to her, then teaching her to read, and now all of us reading independently, just as much as I did nursing time. We can do this routine anywhere on the road, and it definitely helps with her reading and schools skills that we are building now. The family reading time is supported by family library trips. Maybe consider how your family will grow from this night-time routine together. We love how ours has grown with our daughter.

Andrea on

I did it all wrong in the beginning with my first son regarding going down to sleep in the evening. As a family, we spent our evenings watching tv and we felt we could watch our son better if he was with us on the couch. But after a while I decided it was time for a change and he should be going down to sleep in his own bed and while he was awake and not asleep. We did the whole “cry it out” and I hated it. But we developed a routine (because kids love routines) for when he was going to go to bed and it eventually worked out just fine. He stayed in a playard in our room until he reached one and I would’ve moved him into his own room sooner but he had a lot of ear infections and I wanted to notice any changes in his sleep patterns as early as possible.

With my second (he will be six months old tomorrow), he does not sleep on the couch. Heck, I don’t have time to sit down and watch tv. He goes in his playard in our room and will move into his own crib when he reaches one years old. To get more sleep because he is an early riser, I put him in his carseat and we both get a couple hours more of sleep. That may be wrong but I did that with my first son when he had a stuffy nose and I wanted him more upright and he turned out fine. I just love the infant carseat. Just wait til your baby moves out of it and into a bigger carseat. Now you have to wake your child up to get them out of it or you wait in the car while your child naps.

Ultimately, whatever works for everyone to get some sleep works as long as you are open to change that routine when it needs to be changed. I think it is great that you are thinking ahead that is real important. As you know, you always need to come up with a new plan because the old one doesn’t work anymore because your baby will change it for you. Good luck.

Sarah on

Many think this is an issue relating to a baby not being able to sleep in his/her own bed, but in all reality this is about safety. So many babies die each year due to sleep-related deaths (a baby dying while sleeping due to SIDS, suffocation, accidental overlay, etc.)… It’s not about if a baby will not be able to break the habit, but truly about safety.

Each baby should be place in his/her crib, alone on his/her back to sleep for naps and at night. There are many ways for parents to bond with their children, but this is one of the most dangerous ways…

Breastfeeding advocates believe this is a healthy thing, but really… sleeping with your newborn or infant before they turn one-year-old is incredibly dangerous. For example in NEFL, each year 165 babies died before their first birthday – that is 8 classes of children who will not start kindergarten in five years… Of these deaths more than 25 were sleep-related, which is preventable. Isn’t it our job as parents, as a community, to protect our children?

http://www.healthychildcare.org/pdf/SIDSparentsafesleep.pdf

Ginny on

I slept with my last two (of 4) babies. I too love(d) it. At 1 my baby girl let me know when she was sick of sleeping w/ me (she’s 3 now). My son (18m) sleeps w/ me from 4:30 ish til he wakes for the day. He goes down at night on his own, but we all love the together time in the early morning hours. I miss my Emma, but she made room for us to do the same with Lil’ Matt. They both nap in their beds w/o problems.

Bonnie R. in WI on

Kourtney, this is a very bad idea for babies to sleep in the same bed with their parent/parents as here in Wisconsin there have been many deaths of infants because of someone doing that! It’s a big issue here in Wisconsin. The parents can fall into a deep sleep and roll over onto the baby and therefore smothering him/her and then it’s too late. Everybody loves their children and wants to be close to them, but better to have them than not!!!! Be a smart parent for you and your baby’s sake. There are other ways to remain close and bonding other than sleeping with them. It’s not a criticism just a warning from fact.

Ali on

You gotta go with what works for you! We tried co-sleeping but our little one does so much better in his crib, he was too distracted with the breast milk so close by. I think you will get to a point where you will know when it is time to move him in the crib. If your lucky he will make the transition without protest, if not, maybe a few tears will be shed but he will end up adjusted to the new environment in no time. Good luck!!!

Abby on

I hate to say it, but you are going to regret this when he gets even a little bit older (at least one.) While it is sweet in the beginning, babies become dependent on having someone in the bed with them not only at night, but also for naps. This can really make life difficult when you are tied down this way as a parent. Not only do you lose your personal time that you need, but it also creates a dependent child. I say these things because I have 3 friends who have dealt with this. One is currently trying to switch her 1.5 year old to his bed. He vomits himself from crying and is suffering panic attacks when put in his crib. Again, while it seems wonderful now, just remember that the older the child, the longer he will cry, and the more difficult it will be.

Michelle on

Kourtney, I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you practice Attachment Parenting like I do. Do what you feel is best for your baby and don’t let anyone else tell you differently. If you want to co-sleep, then do so. If you want to breastfeed until he is five (I heard you said that, joking?) then do it! Your the mom, you know best! I believe attachment parenting has made my two year old the independent, confident, secure little girl she is today. Keep up the good work!

Stacey on

Once my son was a couple weeks old, I decided that in order for me to get some rest, I will have him sleep with me in the bed. I will tell you what, it worked, he slept soundly since he was with me. Eventually as I tried to put him in his crib at night or even nap time at that matter, he wanted nothing to do with the crib. He is now going to be 3 next month in July and all he wants is to sleep with me, which is fine because like you I ENJOY that mom son moment. It is a sense of relaxation to me knowing that he is comfortable where he is. Well he ended up kicking dad out of the bed. So that is the only problem in this case. His dad is upset because we don’t have our one on one time. Its all just baby. That can hurt the relationship, but I only do what makes my son happy. Enjoy your time and congrats on the baby!!

Lauren on

My 8-month-old daughter Kaia slept in her swing in our bedroom until she was about 6 months old. But at least four times week, she would take naps with me during the day in my bed. That way I still get that bonding time with her, but I would have to worry about anything happening to her at night.

She was also swaddled until about a month ago. Most people told me not to do that, but you know what? I say whatever works for a baby, is what I’m going to do. All babies are different, and if Masen likes to sleep with you, and you like it too, then do it. Worry about the transition time later.

Now she’s in her crib – what a crazy transition! My fiancee and I were SO worried that she would not like it. We prepared ourselves for days, and then she went to sleep just fine the first night in her crib!

Good luck, Kourtney. You’re doing a great job with the peanut man!

EC on

I thought it was great, until my best friend who is a pediatrician said I could actually not even know and roll over and crush him…that was the end of that for me!

Elizabeth on

He should never sleep in bed with you. Too many babies die from that. My husband is an EMT and has been on way too many calls where the baby dies because the parent accidently rolled on the baby. My son is 1 year old and has NEVER slept in bed with us.

Nathalie on

Way to go girl! Do what you feel is right for you & Mason. I have a 2 1/2 yr old son. I breastfed him until he was 16 months old. He slept in bed with us from the moment he arrived from the hospital until 3 months ago. He sleeps through the night now on his own.

Bonnie on

One other thing- cosleeping, when done properly, is very safe (actually reduces the risk of SIDS significantly) but if either parent has had any alcohol, even if they are not “drunk”, it becomes unsafe. Just a little bit of alcohol is all it takes to reduce your awareness of the baby enough to pose a suffocation risk. So on nights that you or Scott have a couple drinks, Mason will be much better off in his crib, and you can resume cosleeping the next night.

Mummie Erin on

Kourtney, you are doing an AWESOME job and thank you for being open and blogging about BFing and Cosleeping.

For us, cosleeping grew out of necessity with BF-ing a food allergic/high needs babe. I got all the flack you’ll get too, but the more I looked into it, we’re one of the only countries where cosleeping isn’t the norm. And I fell in love with it the way you are, I tell people for the first time my elbow had purpose!

I think your gut is telling you something, the primal momma in you is doing the right thing for you and Mason. Don’t worry about getting him out, if you go slow and gentle, it will all work out when he’s ready. (our guy is almost 2 and cosleeps maybe 1/4 a night 3-5x a week, STTN the rest of the time, and when he does, we both miss him!!!)

Sonia on

Did you know that co-sleeping in Japan is the norm and they have one of the lowest SIDS rate in the world. So it actually suggest that co-sleeping may actually help prevent SIDS.

Ashley on

It has never been in my nature to do so, but between your breastfeeding entry and this co-sleeping entry, I feel compelled to commend you and your parenting skills. Your baby blog seems genuine in nature and it’s refreshing, because many times the public are bombarded with these generic by the book views on parenting. I co-slept and breastfed with my first son, he is now three years old and sleeps on his own. In all honesty, it was HIS decision to sleep on his own and I was devastated when he stopped sleeping with me, because that closeness is truly amazing. My second son is one year old and still sleeps with my husband and I. It’s refreshing to wake up next to this happy fat little man every morning. Plus, my second son gets that closeness that I feared he would never get because he IS the second child. I too slept in the bed with my parents and my younger brother. The four of us are extremely close, even up ’till this day. It isn’t for everyone, co-sleeping, but if it works for you, don’t fear he’ll never leave the bed, be grateful for this sweet sweet baby time, because before you know it he’ll be out of the bed, then out of the house w/a baby of his own! But, again, thank you for touching base on this topic… truthfully.

Jamie on

My two boys slept with me and transitioned great! I remarried down the road and my new husband and I had a daughter. He was terrified to let her sleep with us. His little brother died at 6 mos. because his 98lb mother accidently suffocated him in his sleep, it devastated his family. 10yrs fast forward, we became prego with another surprise, I began reading up on everything, weeks before my due date our neighbor lost her baby by sleeping in bed with the him. My best advice is to cosleep with your baby on the couch on special days, you cannot rollover, you have no worries about wether your parter will elbow or move around, and still gives great snuggle time! By the way I breast fed all of mine. Sorry to cut the stories up…just didn’t want to write a book! Hope this helps.

jelitalian on

There are some definite opinions here on co-sleeping. 18 years ago when I had my first son I don’t remember any controversy with having your child in your bed. My pediatrician encouraged the practice saying it would make nursing much easier. My husband and I found it was natural to us. Our boys are pretty normal, self sufficient and gregarious kids. As a matter of fact, the oldest is on his way to Harvard next year. The bottom line is…trust your mothering instincts. No one can walk in your shoes.

bt on

I never had my son sleep with us. Get him used to being in his own room and his own bed. Even if he comes in in the middle of the night, quiet him down and put him right back in his own bed. This will show him that you’re still there for him shoudl he need you in the middle of the night. Do it soon or it’ll be harder later on.

Michelle on

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

Co-sleeping is not dangerous if done correctly!

Kimberly on

I have three children and for the first three to four months of each of their lives I have slept with them. I feel close and its easier to breastfeed. Especially the early days when like you said they are up a lot. Eventually though I need to start choosing my husband over my kids when it comes to bed. I think its good for the kids to learn there will be times they need to be alone and have a mommy break. Also when they learn to crawl and you put a toy in front of them and they are frustrated because they can’t get it then finally when they finally do its a major confidence boost. I belive letting them sleep alone when you feel the time is right will give the little darling the same confidence.

Stephanie Johnson on

My son also slept in our bed and I loved every minute of it too! We finally made the switch to his crib around 8 months. Thats when he started to move around a lot at night causing him and I both to lose sleep. I think he was ready too. It only took us 4 rough nights of him crying himself to sleep. But that was it and now he loves his crib. Enjoy the cuddles while they last and you’ll know when its time for Mason to make the switch! Good Luck!

beth on

my daughter has co-slept with us since she was born…she is now 21 months old. It has been one of the most rewarding aspects of motherhood for me and i’m convinced it was one of the reasons breastfeeding was so successful for us.

don’t listen to the naysayers! you know what’s best for your precious baby boy! enjoy these moments, they are so fleeting…the day is soon coming that he will be too cool to cuddle with you in your bed.

J on

But at the same time Mummie, families in other countries just do it, they don’t push others to do it or make a show of it. These mommy enforcers in America need to stop reminding us what other countries do and worry about their own families.

Christina on

When my son, Riley was born, he had colic, so it was really hard to get him to sleep at night. We tried our bed, the bassinet and the crib. We found that he slept better and longer in his crib maybe since he liked the matress better. Also, according to the doctor, that matress was better for him anyway since ours had a pillowtop which isn’t safe for newborns. I wanted him in the same room with us so I could check on him easily, but he liked his own room and bed. Haha we ended up getting a monitor, though, so that made me feel better. I agree that you have to make the right decision for your baby. Having him sleep in the crib during the daytime is a great idea, so that when you make the transition, he will be familiar with the crib.

Erica on

We have six children and the last three each slept in the bed with me while they were young. Once I tried it, I was hooked!! I too look forward to “our” time and I find it is nice for feedings too. As long as you are careful, I think it is best. I guess “mother’s intuition” keeps baby safe too as I sleep so much lighter now that I have had children. Besides, you wake up every morning to their beautiful smiling face right there next to you, It doesn’t get any better than that. :) Congratulations on Mason. He looks just like a pure Kardashian.

A. Goodwin on

Co-slept with both kids, and wouldn’t change that for the world. To each their own, but my instincts told me, to and I’m glad I trusted my “inner mom.” I have two healthy, beautiful, INDEPENDENT children.

laura on

I slept in the same bed as my parents for 4 years, my sister did it for 6, and we are both the most independent girls you will ever meet. It did not harm us in any way, more so gave us more courage and trust in ourselves! Every child will learn the sleep on their own – as I say, use your common sense when it comes to things like this, and everything will turn out just fine!

jw on

Please do not co-sleep with your babies! You are putting little ones at risk for smothering to death. If you roll over on the baby or their face gets in a position, such as under an arm, they are not able to move themselves and can die. If you want an older child to sleep with you go for it I guess. I wouldn’t recommend it at any age.

lena on

I don’t think co-sleeping is up for intellectual debate, it’s not some hippie new-age practice. It’s controversial, but it shouldn’t be. Bottom line is, it’s quality time with your baby, with your child. I don’t see any problem with your child sleeping in the same bed even as old as 10 (before puberty) though gradually “weaning” them to be independent but show that you’re still there if they want to snuggle one night. It’s a closeness that can’t really be replicated, and you’ll feel that closeness for a lifetime, long after they’ve grown up. It’s another feeling of reassurance and that you’ll always be there for your child.

Bonnie R. in WI on

The “issue” is safety and not bonding! Safety should be first and foremost! Just consider the facts Kourtney and you can still find other ways to bond like rocking them to sleep and putting in crib. I do that with my grandbabies and it feels so good when they look into your eyes while talking or singing to them and they just fall asleep in the your arms. So relaxing for both of us. Check on the internet of all the stories of babies dying here in Wisconsin from sleeping with babies. Some even sleep with them on their couches. Not a good idea!

Cindi on

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. When I had my 4 year old, when it was time to go back to work, when he would wake up in the middle of the night, instead of taking the time to put him back to bed in his bed, I would just put him in bed with me and my hubby. Both me and my husband LOVED the bonding time, but when the second baby came around, I decided to try him the other way. From day one, he slept in the bassinet by me, but when he was 3 months old, I put him to sleep in his bed, and to this day, he goes to bed with no fuss. NOW my 4 year old, me and my husband are STILL trying to get him out of our bed. I have come to realize with busy schedules that sometimes that is the ONLY time that me and my husband have with each other, and if you have a kid invading that time, well let’s just say, we don’t get ALONE time accomplished very often. It is getting better, because we are sticking to our guns and walking him back to his room every night, but bottom line he prefers to sleep with someone. Actually anybody have any other suggestions to speed this transition up.

Eliza on

I slept with both my kids as babies. I so loved snuggling up with them and having them so close. I did make them sleep in cribs for naps but even with that, when they were old enough to be in their own beds it was very difficult to make that move. I had to go through a few weeks to a month of slowly getting them to be able to go to sleep without me laying there with them. It was very stressful for both of us as I hated hearing them cry for me to come lie down, but also knowing I had to get them used to getting to sleep without me. So as much as I enjoyed our co sleeping it did come with a price to pay.

Erin on

I think the most important thing is to find out what works best for you and your son. You definately don’t want to be giving up on quality couple time with your man because your little guy is right there. Couple time is just as important as mommy son time.
But if your not comfortable having your son far away from you either, maybe your best option is to have a crib for him in your room. possibly on the other side of the room from your bed. he will still be close but you will be able to have some separation.
Also I think the most important thing to remember is boundaries. The ones you set up between you and your children are the ones they will live by. If you open up your bed to them then you have to know that it will always be that way. and you can’t get mad if they don’t do well on their own, or tend to start sleeping with you again as they get older and more mobile. (when they can walk into your room in the middle of the night.)
And don’t let them fall asleep in your room then move them to their room. for a lot of little kids it can be really scary waking up in a place they don’t remember being in before sleeping. Sometimes they think you left them. Where they fall asleep is where they should stay asleep. (in terms of mommy’s room vs. kids room). I have had it result in lots of tears and screaming at 2am as they try to open the door and get in to where you are.

Kristi on

I definitely believe this is a personal decision that every mother has to make. My son is almost 11 months old and he’s slept in his own bed since he was born. I personally like it better when he’s in his own bed simply because it’s more comfortable for him since he wiggles alot in his sleep. Not to mention more comfortable for me and my husband. Although, when my son is sick or teething bad he does sleep with us but that is just to keep from waking my husband up every time I get out of bed to check on him. I think that in the long run that he will sleep better on his own but all babies are different, so go with your gut!

P.S.- Kourtney, I LOVE your blog! Thank you for sharing your experiences as a new mom with us!

Abby on

My 6.5 month old son has been sleeping in his crib since he was 3 weeks. I started him in a bassinet, but was too loud of a sleeper and kept me up all nihgt. I’m too scared my husband will roll over on him to have him sleep in our bed.

I’ve pretty much found that you can find anyone to say anything is the right thing to do with babies. I think as long as you’re not hurting them, and it works for you and the baby, it’s the right thing to do

JD on

I’m a pediatrician, and probably one of the worst things I’ve ever encountered in my career was seeing paramedics bring a dead baby into the ER after the mother fell asleep and smothered him while breastfeeding in bed. I know that worldwide, it’s very common for babies to cosleep with their parents and that suffocation is rare, but it’s too great of a risk to take.

SMD on

I agree with many of the other posters- do what YOU feel is right with YOUR baby. Whether it’s co-sleeping, crib-sleeping, car sleeping, or swing sleeping, I feel as long as you do it safely, you can’t go wrong. There will be plenty of other times in your kids’ future when you have the potential to scar them for life! :)

Mariana on

I have a 2year 5 month old boy and he sleeps with us in bed. It has been really hard to try for him to stay in his bed especially when my daughter was born. My daughter is 9 months and she loves her crib. Although they tell me that girls are different in everything.

christa on

I have 2 kids. My daughter NEVER slept with me, but my son (who is 21 months) is a totally different child. When he first came home, the ONLY way he’d sleep is if I was holding him, or directly next to him…..and that worked for us. BUT, I was told it would become more difficult to get him to independently sleep…and although I LOVE my kids to peices I need that “time” with the hubby and the only time we get is when they are sleeping. So, I moved Camden out of the bed and into his crib. The first two nights were horrible. I had to “re-tuck” him in several times…but now he’s perfectly fine and goes right to bed. :)

Michelle on

All the people who comment say “I like waking up next to my child”….”I need them to sleep with me”…..this is all about the selfish needs of the parents, not of the kids. A 4 year old should not be in bed with their parents…end of story. Stick the kid in their own bed and be done with it – you should not be kicking your husband out of the bed so you can sleep with your toddler. UNHEALTHY!!!

michelle on

I am the mother of two sons. My eldest, named Mason as well, is almost 3 now and my son Brayden is 4 months. Mason slept in our bed almost right up until Brayden was born. I loved it so much, the closeness is amazing. There is nothing like cuddling with your baby and seeing their sweet face when you wake up. i found Mason slept better with us as well. when it came time for him to go into his own room, we made a big deal about it and helped him pick out a big boy bed. he made the transition pretty easily. my husband slept with him for about a week and then he was fine on his own. he loves his big boy bed and big boy room, he goes to bed on his own now. I plan on sleeping with Brayden until we both feel ready to make the move to his own big boy bed. remember they don’t stay little for long, so enjoy every precious moment

Sylvia on

Mason is super adorable! I have 3 boys and I have never put them in my bed.
my friend’s neighbor brought there baby home after 2 days in the hospital. Well
the father put the baby in the bed with him and tragically rolled over him, all
While the mom went to cvs to get diapers. Very sad and tragic, so whatever you decide to do
GOD BLESS YOU and Mason!

Shelly on

It is so interesting hearing the (mostly) women commenting on this entry… We have been SO BRAINWASHED in this country to believe that we must “train” our babies to sleep alone. Attachment Parenting (which is what Kourtney is doing) is age-old! In most cultures this is THE NORM. Your kids don’t stop needing you just because the sun goes down. Research shows that babies who co-sleep have higher IQs, have better emotional regulation, develop deeper and more meaningful relationships and feel more secure in life. A big reason for the EXPLOSION in emotional and sleep disorders in children has to do with our backwards way of thinking about their needs.

A. Goodwin on

Wow…the more I read these posts…the more I realize so many people are misinformed about co-sleeping!!

Kourtney – go to Dr. James McKenna’s Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame (http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/) Lots of great info. here – including myths/facts about co-sleeping.

Leslie on

As stated previously, many cultures co-sleep. It seems the natural thing to do. I definitely agree. My son is now 22 years old and has not suffered in the least by the time spent co-sleeping. Why would anyone bring an infant home, place him in a bassinett in another room to cry alone out of necessity or desire? Never made any sense to me. Follow your maternal instincts and make you own decision. Plus, I don’t believe there is any way you can spoil an infant. Just remember, they are only babies for a short while. Enjoy every precious moment, time flies and it is over way too soon.

Angelica on

I agree with Louise, whatever is best for both of you..I have 2 children, one 14 and the other 2..The 14 yr old slept in a crib, the 2 year old sleeps with me. They both are doing fine. As long as you keep him safe, i don’t see the harm. Just do what makes YOU and Mason happy.

Nebraska on

Our 14 mo old sleeps in his crib every night. We were lucky that we were able to teach him to sleep on his own. We never co-slept mostly b/c we like the time to ourselves at night and are still a very passionate couple :) My cousin’s 2 1/2 year old was a co-sleeper and is still in bed w/ her AND my best friend’s daughter is 4, was a co-sleeper, and still REFUSES to sleep in her own bed. I’m not saying co-sleeping is wrong, I understand doing what is best for your child; especially during those LONG NIGHTS! If you can break him of it now, it would be to your advantage, but they are only tiny once-use your instincts!

crg on

She should start by learning how to put a child in a car seat properly. That chest clip is way too low. That aside, sleeping-wise, she should just do whatever works for her and her child. My first co-slept a decent amount but also slept in his bed, my second co-slept a little and when he got to be an older baby, he couldn’t/didn’t want to sleep with us. Every parent and every baby is different.

nancy a on

my little one is going to turn 2 yrs old in July and he slept in the bed with my hubby and I until he was 6 months old. I got alot of crap from people telling me that it was bad, but I felt more comfortable having him in the bed with us. I could feel him breathing, which helped me sleep better. I had heard that SIDS occurs because they forget to breathe and that if they sleep with you they are on the same pattern with you. The only reason we moved him to his own crib/room was because he was becoming a bed hogger and we were not getting any rest and he was becoming restless at night bc he couldn’t move around. He transitioned to the crib great and sleeps in his own room now. Our next goal is trying to get him to fall asleep on his own but i personally love that mommy and baby time and holding him while he falls asleep.

S. on

Both my boys slept in our bed for the first year, and occasionally we will wake up with one or both back in our bed (they are 2 and 4 now). They both transitioned to the crip and then a big boy bed just fine and to be honest, I miss watching them snooze the night away right next me! Enjoy that special close time while you have it – it goes too fast!

Kitty on

I have a 2 year old and we’ve been co-sleeping since she was about 3 months old. I had the same fears that she would “never” sleep on her own so I struggled for 3 months waking up every 2 hours to nurse her and put her back to sleep and then slip her on to her crib! It was crazy and I worked full time and I couldn’t handle that lack of sleep. So we transitioned to co-sleeping! It was the best thing I ever did!
It is NOT TRUE that co-sleeping children grow up to be needy and dependent. It is quite the contrary. If you raise them to trust that you tended to his/her needs by nursing on demand or by co-sleeping they grow up to be very independent children! My daughter will co-sleep until she’s ready to move into her own bed. Her needs come before mine. Plain and simple. If she sleeps more comfortable in my bed than so be it. I will sacrifice my comfort for hers. That’s what parents do.
Good luck with your decision. I want to commend you for nursing and co-sleeping and being such an AP (Attachment Parenting) Momma! These methods are so out of the norm and it’s nice to see a celebrity bringing it to the mainstream. Thank you!

Tracy on

I have 2 children ages 4 and 2.. when my 4 yr old was born i knew instantly that i was gonna co-sleep i bought i bassinet and would think i was gonna have her sleep in there but it never failed she would have to be next to me i felt lonely without my daughter in the bed next to me cause once you start it you yourself feel the bond like you said the same breathing patterns the snuggle time.. they told me the same things about it would be hard to get her out of my bed and it was dangerous but honestly a mothers knows her child is right next to her and you become a light sleeper.. Makiah stopped sleeping in my bed at the age of 2, i bought her a toddler bed and let her help picked out the bed spread and decorate and she loved it.. she now sleeps alone and is doing great.. My son Bryson who is 2, sleeps in my bed with me every night and i love it, its weird when you start co sleeping you really do become attached and bond so much more i think co sleeping is the best.. You will be able to get Mason to make the transition from your bed to his own I promise as long as you allow it it will happen.. it may take longer then 2 but no longer then 3!! Good Luck.. Ur son is beautiful

Caitie on

Hey Kourtney!
I have been following your whole family since your show came out,but esp. you because we were pregnant for some of the same time! My baby boy,Charles,is 10 months old now,and he slept in bed with me until he was 6 months old,and I breastfed until 9 months old( I didn’t want to stop! But my milk seemed to disappear and after trying everything to increase production,he just wasn’t that interested by the end of it) My baby still doesn’t sleep all night,he gets up once or twice,and sometimes still drinks a whole bottle! Anyway! Even my husband didn’t want to co sleep,but he worked nights and so I didn’t have anyone to take turns with,I was breastfeeding so I didn’t care what anyone said,it was our decision,and I loved it! I made the agreement with my hubby that I would move him into his crib at 6 months…he wouldn’t even nap in his crib until then! As soon as you put him down he would SCREAM! and it seemed like it would never stop,I couldn’t leave my poor boy down there! Then I read up on the FERBER method,you make sure baby is dry,full and tired,you put him in his crib,and wait until he starts to cry,let him cry for 5 minutes,go in,don’t pick him up,tell him its bedtime rub his belly for a few minutes,until YOUR comfortable leaving again,then do it again,slowly move to 10 then 15 minutes between each time going in to check him,Everyone I have talked to,and my experience was 3 days of tears then after that he would cry for about 15,I would go in once,and he would fall asleep after,about 2 days after that I started putting him in crib for naps,he fell asleep right away,and there he has stayed ! And now,I put him down sometimes fully awake,still a little wound up and within 5 minutes he puts himself to sleep! So do what feels right for you,but FERBER is HIGHLY recommended!!

Rebecca on

My soon to be 9 month old son has been sleeping on his own since he was 2 months. He will not nap in his crib though. I usually put him in the corner of the couch and stay in the area of my living room while he’s sleeping. Lately, my son has been getting up REALLY early, so I’ve been bringing him into our room (as my husband gets ready for work), I stick him in his boppy and give him a bottle. He’ll sleep atleast 2 more hours while in bed with me.
I am not a big fan of co-sleeping but I believe as long as youre careful that it’s your decision. You’ve got to be aware of the whopping cough that they can get from you, also rolling over on them. But I’m sure you already know all this.

Good luck!!!

Tess on

My children slept with me until they walk. I sleep good knowing they are beside me. They bond with you better. They are in their teens now and sometimes I still see my daughter naps in my bed.

Bonnie R. in WI on

Cannot stress again…..safety for your baby! Better to have them than not!!!! Please head the warning given by people that know. They are trying to do something here in Wisconsin about people co-sleeping with their kids because there’s been too many deaths from it. Won’t say no more! I just love babies lots!

Jess on

My son, who is 4 years, did sleep in our bed when he was younger. When he was born he would sleep in his crib which was in our room. I did also breast feed him as well so when he would get up at night it was just easier to lay him in between my husband and I. We would take our morning nap together but he knew his crib was his bed. Every now and then he does still crawl into bed on my side to sleep. There is nothing wrong at all with co-sleeping. I do agree that you get more bonding time with them when they sleep in your bed. Enjoy this time. You’re doing a great job.

Maria on

I am 29 years old with 3 children who are 5,7,and 9 my children slept with me 80% of the time when they were infants, and my son the youngest sleeps with us most of the time,They are attached to us, they know how much we love them, the most special part of it is when they all have a sleepover in our room, they are happier, and they are calm. They love it and we love it.

Palais on

I breastfed all three of my children. My slept with me for the first six weeks and then easily moved to her own bed. She was always independent ( she weaned herself off the breast to the bottle at five months when she realized my breasts did not follow her head as she looked around, so I spent the next seven months pumping). My middle daughter slept with me for an entire year and whe she weaned off the breast to the bottle, she easily went into her crib without issue. My youngest was enormously high strung and refused to sleep in her own bed. She made life difficult for me as her temperment is so different. She was three before she spent a night in her own bed, but once I laid down the ground rules with her, and a couple of weeks of misery and no sleep, she gave up and found new ways of driving me insane every day. God, I adore them all.
It is entirely about the temperment of both the parents and the child. I found it easy with my middle child and difficult with my youngest. Now, none of them have serious sleep issues outside of a fear of the dark or being a preteen who thinks bedtimes are for “nerds”. But if I had to go back, I’d change what we did with the youngest, as she still remains quite needy and clingy. Maybe we should have forced independence in her sooner. The clues to her personality were clear from the moment I felt her move in my womb. But we honestly thought that what worked with our first two would work for her.
As long as Kourtney, scott, and Mason all agree that this is the best arrangement, I can’t fault them their choice. It’s working for them.

Megan on

Hello Kourtney,

I will tell you my experience but as a mother only you know what is best for your child. For the first 6 weeks of my sons life he slept in the bassinet next to our bed. I would have let him stay longer but the max. weight limit on the bassinet was 15lbs and he was 10lbs at birth. He would wake up in the middle of the night and need to nurse. I had an older son as well so there was no “napping when the baby naps” for me. I was so exhausted I would often fall asleep when he was nursing and would wake up in a panic thinking he rolled off of me or I rolled on top of him. I was not comfortable having him sleep in the bed with me because I worried about suffocation. You can do all the research you want. You will find people say it is a wonderful bonding experience and the chid will have no problem adjusting to a crib and then you will find people who say, you will kill your baby if you sleep with them. Really, it is all about what you are comfortable with. If you find that you are not comfortable with the baby in your bed check out the co-sleepers that attach to the bed. You could also get something like this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3977276 that you could put in the middle of your bed. Whatever decision you make will be the right one.

Megan

Mary on

I did co sleep with my boy, but I was always so afraid of rolling over on him that my sleep was never sound. So after months of sleep deprivation, I found this book called “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child”. I utilized the methods and my boy has been sleeping through the night (12 hours) in his own bed since 10 months. I do miss having him in bed, but I know that he is safer in his own bed and I can see him anytime I want with the video monitor.

Tanya on

Our son sleeps in the bed with us too. Nap times, he’s in his crib, but at night when we go to sleep, he is in the bed with us! People can say what they want, but it’s our decision & we are doing what makes us happy & more comfortable, and that is having our son sleep in the bed with us!

Megan on

My son is 3 and has never slept in the bed with my husband and I. Since being laid off from work, there’s times we’ll take a nap in bed together, but other than that..no. But he’s an awesome kid anyway because when I say it’s bedtime, he goes right to his room without a fit.. and it’s been that way always, we’ll see if it stays that way. :) But when I did work, I worked at a daycare, so since the day he was born, he’s always been with me. We’ve always been together so we get that bonding time all throughout the day. Had we not, he’d probably sleep in bed with me. It’s obviously your own choice but I do know a few people who have 6 year olds that still refuse to sleep in their own bed because they grew up sleeping in bed with mommy,etc. But ya know what, you’ll never get to live the same day with your child, again. You’ll never get yesterday back. So do what you feel is right because you only live once, and take advantage of all the time you do get to spend with him.

Molly on

After much research on the subject, we decided that co-sleeping was a safe and very natural, positive choice. We still sleep with our 22 month old son and absolutely love it. It is a very bonding time for all of us and I feel that our son bonded much more with his busy father because of it. Also, we all got much more sleep because of it. We are just now beginning to plan a transition but are in no hurry. This is one of those issues where people tend to swear by the experience they chose for their family. Congratulations on making an informed choice and putting it out there. The campaigns out there against co-sleeping do not present the data (re: smoking, drinking, drugs, obesity, etc.)in a clear or objective way. Also, it is refreshing to see a mother in the public eye promote an attachment parenting approach. I am so thankful that we went that route and I know our son has benefited tremendously.

Mackenzie on

It may be bonding but it is really unsafe. A lot of babies die every year because of this.

Andrea on

Kourtney, I completely understand your want to bond closely with your little man, but the safety risks are definitely something to seriously consider. The pediatrician who posted before me is right – the risk of suffocating your baby is high. People think it’s crazy that you could roll over and not feel your baby, but it happens every day. Take it from someone who has worked closely with grieving mothers who have been through it. There are so many other (safe) ways to bond with your little guy!!

Cas on

Kourtney, there is nothing more special than bonding with your baby! As a working mom it is so important that you arrange your schedule with Mason AND with what works best for you and Scott. If you have a super busy day and haven’t been able to see Mason much then why would you banish him to the bassinet if you want to snuggle? Or, if you’ve had a total mommy & Mason day and want some alone time it is perfectly OK to take some adult time. You are the mom, and you know what is best for your family!
xx Cas

Heather on

I think it depends on the child. My daughter was sleeping through the night in her own bed by the time she was six months old. My son was a little more needy, so he co-slept with us longer. It was either co-sleep or get no sleep, so it was a no brainer for us. He transitioned pretty easily into his own room by the time he was two. It’s a very personal decision and my feeling is that none of the “experts” or “experienced moms” have to live with your individual child or in your personal house. It feels right then it’s the right thing for you.

Lisa on

It’s ridiculous to think that there is a right way or a wrong way in this situation, both types of sleeping produce intelligent, well-adjusted children. There is just your way, and what you want. I’ve had 3 children and my only advice is to say that if you put the baby in bed with you, you WILL have a hard time getting him out of bed later. It’s much, much easier to start them sleeping on their own from day one. If you want to co-sleep indefinitely, power to ya!

Laura on

KOURTNEY SHOULD DO WHAT IS BEST FOR HER AND MADON!!!

I always had my children in their own cribs in their own rooms as babies. It worked for me and my husband, and my kids have always been great sleepers because they can fall asleep on their own. We had major snuggle time before bed and because they never knew any different, going to bed was never a battle. As they got older, the kids would come in for s snuggle in the morning … what a nice way to wake up. I still enjoy that because it’s a chance to have some quiet relaxation before the day begins. It certainly makes for a happy morning. For Kourtney, she needs to do what is best for her and Mason. She loves that time, which is completely understandable. Mason will trasition to his own bed, and I’m sure Kourtney will do it gradually. He’ll be fine and in the end, Mason will have some nice bonding time now.

Hey Kourtney … If it feels right and you are enjoying it, than DO IT! You see the pros and cons, but don’t worry about them all at once if co-sleeping is working for you right now. Everyone has their own experiences and opinions, but take them or leave them as you see fit for your own family. Go with what feels right, and don’t let others make you second guess your decisions. There are a lot of know-it-alls out there, but you are the only one who knows what is best for Mason. People act like you’ll kill him or he’ll be in your bed until he moves out of the house. Anything can happen at any time with any situation, but you have a good head on your shoulders and do what you can to keep your son safe. Mason is adorable, and you are a wonderful mother. God bless you and your family. I wish you all the best.

Vanessa Hebert on

I have two babys that are close in age an my 3 year old sleeps by himself an my little girl sleeps in my everynite. There are times when i put her to bed an she sleeps by herself an she will come meet me in my bed when it time for her daddy to get up for work an that is mine an her time. i been sharing my bed with my baby since i had them an there dad worked offshore now that he home everynite we have moved the 3 year old out an is starting to move her out of are bed now. I loved having that time with them.

Bonnie R. in WI on

My sister actually uses a small travel baby crib that sits on her bed next to her because of this problem here. I know for awhile, she put the baby in her carseat and did that too against the wall on the bed just to have her close and not in any danger. The travel crib is big enough for the baby to sleep in and has mesh borders around it. Completely safe as long as you don’t have near edge of bed. There’s no way you can roll over it because it has borders to stop baby from rolling out or you rolling in. Just saying…

tanya on

I co-slept w/my first(now 4.5yr) and he went to his own bed at 2.5 yrs old w/little problems. I have a 1yr old who sleeps w/us now too. I put her in crib for naps. I only breastfeed/fed my kids and it was so much easier to feed them at night. They were in co-sleepers(by the bed) at first but once they started getting heavier I left them in bed. Its the only way I can get decent sleep. Plus,they are only little for so long :) Good Luck

cheluzal on

It seems to me, from these posts, that the majority of women co-sleeping are doing it for their own benefit, not the child’s. Co-dependency is a problem with our children and it probably starts in infancy. Let them experience independence from the start in their own special bed. I can’t imagine every husband is on board with these arrangements…

Hollie on

I was like you – I didn’t think cosleeping was a great idea pre-baby, but we ended up doing it because it was the only place my daughter would sleep. It just is what it is. Actually, now she’s just over 12 months and she sleeps in her crib – we moved her around 9 months – and she does fine there. Most nights she’ll wake up around 5am and I bring her in with us then, but there was a time when she was with us the whole night. If you don’t already have one, get a video monitor for when you switch Mason into his crib in his own room. It made the transition – for me – a lot easier. I’m not sure what I thought was going to happen to my daughter in her room on her own, but I had anxiety about it. It was nice to be able to turn on the monitor and see her. Good luck! I’ve realized there is no “perfect” way to parent. Just do what is working for you.

Laina on

I can’t argue that it does make it harder for them to sleep in their own bed. I have a 2 year old that I co-slept with that refused to sleep in her bed by herself, so we finally just moved her toddler bed into our room and set it up next to our bed, so that my husband and I could still have our space and she could still feel secure. It’s working out GREAT so far and I actually wish I would have started it a year ago.

I say that if you both get a good night sleep, and you both bond, then it’s good for you. You never know what kids are going to do one day to the next, so don’t let mommy pressure get to you, if you’re both happy then that’s all that matters. You only have so many years with them as little ones, so just enjoy it. I felt so much pressure when she was a baby about what the “right thing” is, and I really wish I didn’t beat myself up so much. You’ll know when something is having a negative effect on him. and you’ll be able to find a solution.

Just sayin on

My son slept with my husband and I around 3 months. As a working mom I need to do what mad everyone happy and that was co-sleep. He is 7 months now and he sleeps in his bed and only wakes up to nurse at about 5. I say do what is best for your family of course be safe but whatever works for you. I also love the bonding time with my son as well.

Maria on

I feel that a baby is supposed to be in the crib. Ive known alot of people who do let their baby sleep in the bed and have regretted it. You and your husband or partnet need your own time and with a baby there that is impossible. If you do have mommy/daddy time with your child in bed thats gross.
I feel and have seen that when a child sleeps in the bed they become to dependent on the mom and it becomes to hard to transfer to a crib. Thats my opinion.

Jaime on

I don’t think it will hurt your little guy and I totally understand the bonding part of it. I would just be thinking about later…..will he have a hard time transitioning to his own bed….maybe not! Either way, he will be fine and just trust your own judgment. I never had my daughter sleep with us because I was worried about my husband rolling over on her…. It’s nice when they are in their crib so you can have that time to yourselves…? I think he’s okay sleeping with you, but are you just making it harder for yourselves later????

claudia on

Every child is different. What one mom do for her child doesnt mean it will help and work for your child. Thats why each mom must be observant of thier own child needs. I see no harm in your baby sleeping with you, both of my girls slept with me until they were about 2 years of age. They had no problems afterwards sleeping alone. Only you as a mom would know or have mother instincts concerning your child.

Carola on

Every mom is different. I had my son sleep in bed with us and he himself decided he didn’t want to anymore when he was about 1 year. It is the best time though. ONE TRICK, when you want him to sleep in his crib, put in a house shirt or pajama shirt that you have worn(so it has your scent) in his crib, that way he smells you and thinks he is in bed with you. Good luck!

Christina S on

I didn’t co-sleep for the simple fact that I wanted to make my relationship with my husband a priority. Sleeping together in the same bed, ALONE, was the only time for nearly a year we were alone and able to connect. How did the moms who co-sleep with thier kis until they are 5 have that wonderful alone time with their husbands?

J on

We have a 3.5 yr old who has always been a good sleeper went right from the bassinet to the crib and then to his bed at about 2.5 years of age. Our second child, who just turned a year LOVES to sleep in our bed. He alwasy starts out in his crib but usually waakes in the middle of the night and ends up in our bed. We (my husband and I) have just recently started to let him cry it out. I don’t believe it is healthy to have your child sleep in your bed.
It seems to be working and the crying is hurting us more than him..

Meghan on

Kourtney I think what you are doing is absolutely the right thing. I think a Mom following her instincts is not only the right thing to do, but the BEST thing to do for your baby, you and your family. I always wished I could co sleep with my baby, but my husband has sleep apnea and although has a machine, he still occaisionally wakes with a big startle. I knew that would not be conducive to a good sleeping environment for our daughter, Isla. During the day when my husband is a work, Isla and I do snuggle in our bed but at night and for most of her naps she does sleep in her crib. She is a very good sleeper. Done safely (as it seems you are) I think co sleeping has a lot of benefits for all!

Jennifer on

I am a mother of two toddlers who has struggled with this very issue myself. My best advice to you is to listen to your instincts. Additionally, if you’d like to educate yourself more about the topic then I recommend reading about attachment disorders and bonding in a psychology book (Human/Lifespan Development). Choose the option that YOU feel is right for you and your son. There are more babies in the world who co-sleep with their parents than babies who are forced to lay in their cribs and cry themselves to sleep.

Sabrina on

Hi Kourtney!
My son is 10 months old, and I did the very same thing you did with him in the bassinet next to me. When he grew out of it, he would not sleep in his crib, so I would put him with us in our bed and he would fall asleep immediately. It turned out to work for us (for SIDS reason precisely) I could check on him often, and when I needed to nurse in the night it was convenient. However, I did make sure there were no pillows or fluffy blankets around him, just him on the mattress next to us.

I have had everyone tell me the same thing, its going to be harder to break him of the habit of sleeping with mom and dad later. However, I have also had many people tell me that a baby that is warm and comfortable makes for a happy baby, and one that will be confident and secure when you transition him to his own bed when he’s older.

I am going with my gut, my son is happy and comfortable with us and I get to spend these precious first year months to bond with my baby close to me. These 10 months have flown by so fast. This country is in the minority when it comes to “sleep sharing”. Rather then listening to the people that are constantly trying to push for babies to learn their independence, I have enjoyed this time. Before you know it, he’ll be wanting to do everything on his own.

From one mother to another, you know your baby, you do what’s best for you and your family but don’t let anyone make you feel bad if you’re not doing it “by the book,” or what they think is not “the norm.” What works for one family, might not work for yours.

Laura on

We originally did not plan on cosleeping with our daughter. We had an “Arms Reach” bassinet right next to our bed for the first 2 months and then attempted to transition her to the crib. She put up an enormous fight every time. She would become so upset that she would become physically ill. We tried the let the baby cry herself to sleep method which did not work at all. We then started cosleeping and what a blessing that has been! We sleep so much better and she goes to bed without a fuss. She is now 1 and a half years old and she still cosleeps. Go with your instinct. It is not something I regret whatsoever. She is a blessing and we have such a wonderful bond because of it!

Lupe on

I LOVE co-sleeping with my 14-month old little girl. I love waking up to her touching my face in the morning, saying “mama” and “papa” to try to wake us up. It’s definitely a personal choice, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My husband and I both know that she’ll let us know when she’s ready to sleep in her own bed. We’ve tried putting her to sleep in her crib sometimes and find that WE can’t sleep without HER! So do what you think it’s right, either way, your little guy will grow up feeling loved and secure. Besides, cuddling in bed together is the BEST!

Corinne on

My husband and I started our son (DOB 12/9/09) in our bed in the cold winter months and transitioned him to his crib after a few weeks. He has slept extremely well since the very beginning, although when he is sick or not feeling up to par, he enjoys sleeping with mommy & daddy. Since we are a working household and set to a very strict schedule, we rarely deviate from our routine. When I get up in the am, or on the weekend, my husband usually brings him into our bed when he starts to move and he wakes up with us. I suppose this is the best of both worlds.
Mason is so cute! Every mother has their own way and I’m sure you know in your heart what is best for your child. I suppose they tell us in their own way ;-)

Bonnie R. in WI on

Well said Cheluzal! It’s for “their” purpose which is selfish. Safety matters. If you’re going to let them sleep in bed with you, then for God’s sake put some protection around them! And not pillows! Common sense people!

MommaMelissa on

Wahoo! Someone like me. I was a firm believer in cribs until my son was born. He slept in his bassinet until he was about 4 months old and then co-slept with my hubby and me until he was 3 and half years old. The transition to a toddler bed was easy because at the suggestion of a girlfriend, we put it at the foot of our bed. Easiest thing ever. My 15 month old daughter still sleeps with us. I love it. She is secure and happy and so is my son. It is such a short amount of time when you look at the rest of their lives. Do what you want not what everyone else expects. Only you know what is right for you and your baby. Kudoos to you!!!!!!!

Michele on

Now that I am a mom of three kids, I see many things very differently than I did with my first baby. With the first baby, I never wanted to let him go, obsessed over every little thing I did (Was it right or wrong? Would it affect him the rest of his life? And so on..)

What I learned was that EVERY child is different. My firstborn was a terrible sleeper and would not go to sleep on his own until he was two years old. No matter what I tried. My second did not WANT to be cuddled and used to backbends when I’d hold her over crib b/c she wanted to be put down! She loved settling herself down without help. My third was somewhere in the middle.

The bottom line is, it will all come out fine in the end. Mason won’t be 10 and sleeping with you in your bed! Enjoy those moments of cuddling and nursing with them, the time goes by SO fast. I loved that time with my babies. However, unlike others, I DID worry about rolling over on him – it is truly a danger. My sister-in-law worked in an ER and has seen many babies brought in completely unresponsive due to just that. Scary stuff, especially if you are exhausted. You also never get “real” sleep b/c you are always on some level of alert. Be careful, esp. with both of you in the bed…

He’s a beautiful boy, keep doing what you’re doing!

kay on

No, I don’t let my kids sleep with me or even in my room… I hear everything, they keep me awake, and I just need to sleep so I can deal with them. Although, my daughter was very hard and didn’t sleep at all, and in hind sight, I should have let her sleep with me because one night after hours of trying to lay her down (every time I laid her down, she would just wake up, she wanted to be with me) I gave up and just held her in my arms and laid on my bed. she slept all night, never waking up again. I should have just given in and let her sleep with me, but I didn’t want to break the habit as I had heard it’s hard to get them out of your bed when they get older and that time is for me and my hubby, even if nothing happens but talking and snuggling…Hard decision, and a personal one.

Deanne on

With my first two I had them sleep with me. As a nursing mother, it’s easier, especially when you’re tired to sleep while they eat. My children are two years apart so it was a little hard for my son to get used to not sleeping with me now that his sister was. And as she got older, it got harder and harder to break her of it. There were often times where I slept on the couch because she was cuddling daddy. It wasn’t until my ex-husband and I had separated that the habit broke with her. And that was not until my new husband moved in. When I had my two year old, I had the same habit of nursing and sleeping with the baby. However, daddy wasn’t going to have sharing the bed with a toddler. The first week was difficult, but now he does well with sleeping on his own. It really all depends on you and how you feel. I’ve had positive and negative experiences with it, but I wouldn’t trade that bonding time I had with them for the world. And it does allow you to get sleep while they eat which is always a plus when you lead a busy life like you do.

Julissa on

I work for the SIDS Center in NYC, and we (and the American Pediatric Society) know that infants should never NEVER cosleep with their parents, or anyone for the matter. Co-sleeping is the number one cause for infant death. Kourt, I love you, but you have to be smarter than that.

Jennifer on

Any time my babies fell asleep in bed with me I would wake up terrified. The fear of them suffocating or getting rolled on is just too great for me. My daughter slept in a crib next to our bed for the first year and my son is doing the same right now (he’s 8 weeks old). My daughter went into her own room and a toddler bed at 1, and my son will probably do the same. Both of them were too big for bassinets!

I just don’t feel safe doing it. I’m sure there are benefits, I just don’t think they outweigh the risks.

And babies shouldn’t be in a carseat any longer than they absolutely need to be, don’t let them sleep in there if they’re not in the car. The angle of the seat is not good for their breathing.

Natalie on

We co-sleep exclusively at first, since young babies nurse so frequently, and it has made night time parenting much more restful for us in the first few weeks after birth. After the first few months, baby starts the night in our playpen, which has a bassinet adapter that makes the floor higher, and I love that- I put it right by my side of the bed in the first few months, then when baby wakes up I can easily get to them. Learning to nurse lying down has really helped me to get plenty of sleep! Now, with my 14 month old, I nurse her to sleep, then carry her upstairs and lay her in her play pen. She sleeps for a few hours, then wakes up, and if we’re still up I nurse her and put her back, or if we’re in bed already I simply bring her to bed with us and we all snuggle up and go back to sleep. My 2 year old is now in a toddler bed, and has been since about 12 months. My husband puts him to bed, and he really enjoys the special one on one with daddy… and the “more book?” that he is always wanting! ;) He frequently has ended up in our bed in the early morning, but has recently started sleeping all night in his bed. It generally doesn’t bother us if our babies or small children wake at night. I know that I wake multiple times at night, for a drink of water, or just to resettle, so I don’t expect my little ones to be able to sleep like logs either, and since they’re still very dependent little creatures, I don’t expect them to self soothe to sleep, either. Besides, I hate sleeping alone and I understand them wanting to snuggle up in our bed too. In most cultures around the world, having separate sleeping spaces is an economic impossibility, even if desired. Many people have a family bedroom out of necessity, even if they don’t have a family bed. Whether you cosleep or not, it is definitely good to keep baby close to you at night!

Good for you for enjoying the baby snuggles… and don’t worry too much about making him be independent, or about what you’ll do when you’re ready for your own space… you’ll figure it out. :)

Also, to all those saying that it will kill your sex life… um, you do know that a bed isn’t the only place you can interact with your spouse, right? We start our baby out in her own space, so that isn’t a problem for us, but many cosleeping parents leave the baby in the bed and are creative about locations… and enjoy it, too… ;)

Bonnie on

We started out co-sleeping. We had a little co-sleeper thing that went in between us to keep her safe. Around 4 months our little girl started waking up whenever my hubby woke up. He has insomnia, so that didn’t go so well. I started placing the baby in her crib in her room and I bought a video monitor. She slept through the night the first night. My hubby’s snoring in constant moving around was interfering with her sleep and mine.

Every kid is different. It was a non-issue with us because our little girl wasn’t really clingy. She wanted to be alone, as crazy as that sounds. There’s not really a “right or wrong” here.

Emily on

I had our daughter co-sleep with me and her daddy for about the first 4 months. That was the only way she would sleep, and it kept me sane from staying up ALL night and then going into work the next morning. Once she started sleeping through the entire night, I had her sleep in her crib. It was an easy transition.

I loved the bond I grasped while co-sleeping with our daughter, and you as a mother know whats best for your son.

corey on

actually my first concern is the picture. i hope he doesn’t ride in a vehicle buckled in like that! very unsafe.
i’m a pediatric nurse and a mother of four young children. many babies have died from co-sleeping. i know they’re cute and snuggly, but put them in the bassinets that connect to the bed so you can hold his hand and be near enough, but still have your own area. also, how are you supposed to have an intimate relationship with your spouse if there’s a kid in it? and then the issue of getting him out of your bed when you’re finally ready to let him?

sheryl on

hi kourtney. love masons little laker outfit. was that from auntie khloe and uncle lamar? lol. what a hot topic you picked to blog about. there sure are alot of responses and opinions. i believe everyone has their choice to sleep with their children if they want to, but i am glad that i did not sleep with mine. in the last year 9 babies died where i live. all were from co sleeping deaths. it was extremely sad to watch of their stories on the news. they even talked about considering making it a law not to co sleep with your babies. i dont think i could of lived with myself knowing i caused my childrens death because i co slept with them. i remember the hospital and dr telling me not to do it either. anyway…just be careful with that little cutie of yours :) i put our kids to bed in a bassinet next to our bed then moved them to their own room and into a crib. that way they dont get attached to your bed and mommy and daddy have alone time :) and get a good nights sleep!!! my kids liked their own room and bed.

Cate on

It does not matter if you put him on his own now or in 3 years, the change will be difficult. I think you should keep him with you as long as you both enjoy it. My personal stress relieving thought is of my son laying on my chest sleeping. The touch and breathing is so calming that it is the image I draw upon when I get anxious. My kids both go to sleep in their own beds now (7 and 4), but they often climb into my bed in the middle of the night and when I wake to see their peaceful sleeping faces I just feel so much love for them. Enjoy the time, they grow up too fast.

Mo on

I had the same initial concerns regarding co-sleeping. I was dead set against it based on some the 2year old war stories i heard. However my husband wanted our son in the bed and would go get him out of his crib nightly. I finally gave up. I wish i could tell you that it was a good decision but it wasn’t. When our son turned two we had a nightly battle to get him to sleep in his own bed. When he would fall asleep (after three weeks of my husband sleeping on the floor in front of his opened bedroom door so he could not make his escape to me) i would wake up to a little person standing over me at 2am saying ” hi mommy, I’m going to sleep with you”. Our son will turn three next month and although we finally got him to sleep in his own bed he still wakes up in the middle of the night at least twice and try’s to get in the bed with us. Bottom line …STOP IT

Cate on

I work in Public Health and we’ve done million dollar campaigns in American to stop parents from sleeping with their babies due to suffocation. When you are in a deep sleep, you can and might roll over the child. Is it worth killing your child, b/c statistics say this happens way to often. NOT a good idea.

Brooke DuBois on

As an Pediatric Emergency Room physician I would urge you to reconsider your stance on co-sleeping. I see at least 5 infants a month who are brought to me after being suffocated in the bed by their parents (and no, pillows were not involved). Your son will learn to self-soothe and sleep more soundly if he is not in the bed with you — this without delving into the topic of SIDS. And before you ask — yes, I am also a mother of 3 breastfed children — all of whom slept through the night by 3 months of age and are secure and well-adjusted.

D on

I think having your child sleep with you will ultimately cause anxiety for the little guy when you try to reintroduce him to his own bed. Parents that I know who have 3, 4 and 5 year old still sleeping with them wish they had made the decision to keep their child in their own space for bed time. I know every child is different, but if your child become adept to only falling asleep next to you, he will feel abandoned and scared when you start “forcing” him to sleep alone. I personally don’t think it is the way to go.

missmarie on

i do not recomment co-sleeping. it can be dangerous for little ones. it’s best to keep them in their crib. they become more independent and sleep better on their own.

Brandy Allen on

The last commenter spoke on a American idea of how to prevent SIDS. In other countries where co sleeping is the norm they have a lower incidence of SIDS. Please do not take anyones comments and run with them. Do your research- SIDS is not caused by co sleeping!!! Be smart by trusting your mommy instincts and doing your own research.

Kat_momof3 on

I love cosleeping… but what’s drawing my attention is that horrible belly clip on Mason… Kourtney… remember, it’s a CHEST clip… it needs to be at his armpits… and his straps are too high… they should start at or below the shoulders when rearfacing.

Dee on

My daughter slept in my bed for around the first two years of her life. Because I breast fed, it was just easier for her and I. (just pop it out and she went to town) She does now sleep in her own bed. I found it comforting to know she was right there and was okay. I caught a lot of criticism from family, because they were afraid that I would roll over onto her, but as a motherly instinct knowing she was right there, I never did. To each their own, but this worked better for me. At 3 years old she seems to be just fine.

Juel on

We use At Arm’s Reach which extends attaches to the side of our bed and is level with our mattress; its like a crib with three sides and the open side faces our bed. Our babies tend to sleep with us and then naturally roll in between our bed and their bed beside us. When my eldest was two we put her bed mattress at the side of our bed and gently over a couple weeks transferred her to her own room. My youngest is one month and sleeps beside me. I wake before she is fully awake because I can feel her waking. She nurses and goes right to sleep as she doesn’t have to get fully awake or scream for me to hear her. So not only is it a nice connection, its easier and more pleasant for both of us.

Natalie on

I feel each mother has the right to make decisions for her own baby. So, I am in NO PLACE to judge. However – My Aunt Julie, who has been a nurse in Cleveland for 26 years – told me to NEVER let the baby sleep in bed with us. She said she even did it as a mother with her first baby. But, sadly she helped deliver a baby and bonded with the mother while she was staying at the hospital, and read a story in the newspaper about 6 months later of the babies death. She had rolled toward the baby and the baby suffocated. My Aunt Julie was devastated for the life lost AND for the mother’s loss, and guilt. SO – again…to each his own! I just had to commit myself to let Bella Rose sleep in her basinet IN our room, and then at 4 months she went into her crib. (Granted I had a guest bed IN her room for ME to sleep in too!) But, just for the first month! *wink* Lots of hugs to you Kourtney! And, smooches to Mason, that lil cutie! XOXO

Denise on

Let your baby sleep with you. There will be a time when he won’t want to anymore. Enjoy every moment with him while you can because they really do grow up quick. And as far as rolling over on them, even when you’re sleeping, a mother is always aware of her baby.

Kris on

My first 2 children who are not 7 and 10 co-slept with my husband and I, and actually still sleep with us more often than not. My 10 year old will not even fall asleep in his own bed unless my husband or I are laying with him. I love them dearly, but it is impossible to get them to sleep through the night in their own rooms. It has put a strain on my marriage as well and exhausts my husband and I as neither of us sleeps through the night with children kicking and moving around. Of course the kids sleep great. Good thing for a king size bed. And the older the children got, the harder it was to find the alone time with my husband. I sure miss the days of laying in bed “cuddling”. However, my 3rd child who is now coming up on 3 years old has been sleeping in his own bed since he was about 10 weeks old and sleeps better there than anywhere else. He does not like to even fall asleep in bed with me, even if it is quiet without the other children. He is now in a big boy bed and he and I enjoy some cuddling time in his bed every morning when he wakes up. It’s my favorite part of the day. If I had it to do all over again, I would definitely have had my first two in their own beds long before attemping it past the age of 2. But hey, I guess if it works for some, then i’m glad someone is getting sleep even after the infant/toddler years. I hope sometime soon i’ll be cuddling with my husband as I’m falling asleep and not the children.

Reese on

You seem to be doing the right thing and better than most, when it comes to letting your infant sleep in your bed at night. It will absolutely continue to forge a bond between you and your little one, but it will also provide a level of security that will make him more comfortable when he isn’t with you. When you’re ready to leave him in his own room/crib, he probably won’t give you much resistance because he’s already used to the crib during the day.

ali0409 on

I am a first time mommy to a wonderful and amazing 7 month old baby girl. She is the love of my life and a princess in both my eyes and her daddy’s. I could go on and on…Anyways, I wanted to comment about co-sleeping. This is something we do too and I LOVE it! Not only does it make for nursing in the middle of the night convenient and super easy, I love the extra bonding that she and I do. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I know exactly what people say about having a hard time later on breaking this habit, but honestly, I am up for the challenge because someday she will not want to sleep next to my husband or I so we’ll take it now! Thanks for sharing your stories, Kourtney! I love reading your blog!!!

Danielle Friedland on

I have coslept with both of my children and love it. My 7.5 month old son sleeps in his crib for naps and for the first part of the night, but otherwise sleeps in bed with my husband and myself.

To those medical professionals who say it’s dangerous, what do you think about the fact that most people have family beds outside of the US and the West? Have they smothered all of their children?

There is safe co-sleeping and there is unsafe co-sleeping. By telling people co-sleeping is dangerous and not to do it instead of telling them how to do it safely, you’re ensuring they will be doing it secretly and possibly in an unsafe way because you haven’t equipped them with the knowledge to how to do it safely.

Natalie on

Denise…not everyone is aware of their babies while they are sleeping. I’ve heard of suffocation MANY times, while the infant is sleeping in the parents bed. So, I’d have to disagree, that a “mother is always aware of her baby.” Accidents happen everyday, it’s sad, but true.

Amy on

My husband and I chose to have our daughter in her bassinet or crib vs. cosleeping. We had heard that having a child was hard enough on a relationship so as much as we love our child, it was important for us to have time together, as well. The second I attempt to lay my daughter in bed with us now (she’s 20 months and I’m 4 months pregnant), she just wants to play so there’s no option for family snugglefests anymore! I agree with the first comment, each mother has their own instincts and should feel free to do what’s best for her and her child.

Kerry on

I can related on so many levels. I am a working mom to my 2 year old son. I see my son two hours in the morning and maybe 3 at night before he is off to sleep. I decided to co-sleep because initially my son would not sleep at night, he nursed through the night and frankly I was so tired it was my only option to keep my sanity. After it was a need it became an amazing bond with my son. I too, was careful about pillows, blankets and anything that could hurt my son. I woke up frequently and still do out of instinct. The down side is he never slept in his crib and I am now dealing with the fall out of not being able to get him into bed. I have been told, read, and blogged the best way is to move him into his crib once he is asleep and then he knows if he wakes up you will come back to him, I am still working on this. Ive learned with anything perseverance and making a decision on what you will do is usually successful. You just have to stick with the plan you make and be consistent. Best of luck!

Mary on

Good for you! We co-slept with our first (2 1/2) and she was sleeping well in her OWN bed by 15 months. Just in time for our second (14 months) to join us. She is now sleeping by herself in her own bed as well. I wouldn’t give up any of that co-sleeping time for anything. Those moments with my babies will be forever cherished. Now we’re getting ready for #3 who will also be co-sleeping with us (and I’m sure sleeping in his or her own bed by the time they are 15 months as well).

It’s been proven that babies who share a room with their parents have a reduced risk of SIDS. It’s also been suggested that babies who share a bed with their mother reduces this risk further. It’s thought that SIDS is a sleep disorder, primarily a disorder of arousal and breathing control during sleep. All the elements of natural mothering, especially breastfeeding and sharing sleep, benefit the infant’s breathing control and increase the mutual awareness between mother and infant so that their arousability is increased and the risk of SIDS decreased.

Melanie Davis on

You are a great mom, Kourtney, and I love that you are leading by example on the breastfeeding and putting your baby first thing. I have three young girls and they all co-slept with me as babies and I breastfed them exclusively until they were each 18 months old. Best thing I ever did. The 2 year old is still with me, and it is just the sweetest time in the bed sleeping together! Little ones say the best and funniest and most profound things when they are going to sleep and waking up that I otherwise would miss hearing. They have the rest of their lives to be independent so why rush into that? That snuggle time is the best time of my day and certainly helped me feel like I was not away so much working. Nature (bears, bunnies, you name the mammal!) says mommies and babies sleep together! Cribs are cages. MED

Julie on

Both of my kids slept with my husband and I. (They are 17 and 12) I started to do this because my husband worked nights and I felt like if something happened they would be right there. It was a little hard when they got older to get them to sleep in their own beds but they did do it. I think whatever is most comfortable for you than do it.

Dayna on

My son is 2 months old and we put him to sleep in his own bed but sometimes when he gets up for his 4:30am feeding, I fall asleep with him on my chest and we stay that way for the rest of the night.

Also, since I am still on Maternity leave and my husband is working, he feeds Angelo in the mornings and puts him next to me in bed and we eventually end up cuddling together. So I do a little of both and we have not been having any problems with it so far!

Liz on

I have to advocate that the safest place for a baby is in a separate sleeping space. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends keeping placing your sleeping child on his/her back, on a firm sleep surface (such as a safety approved crib mattress, covered only by a fitted sheet), in an area close to you but separate from where you or others sleep. Sharing a bed puts your child at unnecessary risk for suffocation.

http://www.nichd.nih.gov/publications/pubs/safe_sleep_gen.cfm

Ultimately Kourtney – this is what is best for your son and your family!

katherine on

My baby is four months old and still sleeps with me.When we brought our her home we put her in a bassinet but after a month we started to put her in our bed because it was easier for me to breatsfeed her and i felt like i needed her with me so she could be safe and like you said you bond with them more.People keep telling me that if i keep letting her sleep with me its goin to get harder to put her in her crib.So what ive started doing is that when its her bed time at 8 i put her on her crib than at 2am when she gets hungry again i put her in my bed.Its been hard for me to let her stay there because i feel like she is not safe in her crib and ive gotten attached to her sleeping with me.I dont know if other mothers have gone through that….but im a first time mom so i guess that is why i feel like that.So im taking this process little by little because for me it hasnt been easy goin to bed without my daughter by my side but so far its working.Kourtney i feel a huge sigh of relief knowing that im not the only mother that has her baby sleeping with her.Thank you for sharing such importants thing.The breastfeeding blog also help me because i had thought of starting to give my daughter formula when we went out so i wouldnt breastfeed but reading what you wrote ive decided not to.Again thanks for sharing and please keep sharing.Love for you and Mason.xoxoxoxo

Bonnie R. in WI on

Sheryl, you must be from Wisconsin!

kirsty on

My SIL slept with her parents until she was 9 and my BIL slept with his parents until he was 5, and the my in laws relationship was very strained since the MIL wanted the kids in the bed and my FIL did not. Also I know someone that crushed his baby while the baby was in the bed. This is not something I would do. Have the baby in your room sleeping in their own bed and then move them into their own room. My daughter stayed in my room until she was 8 months old and then she was sleeping through the night and in her own room. We always put her to bed awake and now at 3 she climbs in her bed in her room and puts her self to sleep. My niece slept with my brother and his wife until she was 3 years old and it was awful getting her in her own bed, they didn’t make that mistake the 2nd time around.

Colleen on

I have 3 boys and the last 2 were back to back. Babies must sleep in their own cribs in their rooms at night. From day one when they came home from the hospital that’s what we did. They need their own space and you need yours. It’s the best way to develop sleeping patterns because he’s not going to be able to just sleep anywhere for much longer. I have girlfriends who still have their 3 and 4 year olds sleeping with them and it’s not easy to break. Your marriage also suffers as well too. You need that alone time with your husband or just yourself to relax. I say put Mason in his bed! Scott spent a whole episode putting that thing together!!

star on

I for one regret letting my daughter sleep with my husband and me, as my daughter got older I ended up sleeping by myself. My husband decided that the bed got to crowded and bought another bed and I slept on it till our daughter was 4………….

Kristen on

Our kids do not cosleep, but they do sleep in our room. We have a 3 year old and an almost 5 month old. Personally I can’t sleep with them. Both boys like to lay sideways in the bed and I usually get the feet on my side! I do however love having them in our room. I think you should do what you feel is right as with every other parenting decision.Just because it doesn’t work for us, doesn’t mean it won’t work for you.

katharinesavage on

I think while you are breastfeeding at night it makes no sense NOT to cosleep. It preserves everyone’s sleep.

Cristina on

We co-slept until about 6 months. Getting him in his crib was a challenge, but the best thing for the both of us because I finally had some time to myself. Napping in his crib didn’t start until 1 year…again, it took a little while, but it allows me to do more things now. :)

Annette on

My daughter slept with me for the first two years consistently, I did not experience difficulties with her moving to her own bed. She is 16 now and through the years, that time is still special to us, we often have nights where she crawls in the bed and we stay up talking and sharing our day or just laughing til we fall asleep. She is happy, and healthy and I did not damage her by allowing her to sleep with me whenever she wanted to. It is a running joke that when she gets married and comes home to visit, our husbands will have to sleep in other rooms so that she and I can have our special mother-daughter bonding time and late night conversations. lol

Trust your instincts, and cheris the time, they grow so fast!

Kristen on

I had our daughter 9 months ago, she slept in her bassinet next to my bed for a month, and woke up a lot during the night. I laid down with her one night and fell asleep with her in my arms and she slept through the night at a month old. Needless to say this was wonderful, and I loved every minute of it. She is still sleeping in my bed and since my husband works at night it’s nice to snuggle with her and have that one on one time with her. She snuggles in each night, and falls fast asleep within minutes. I don’t judge people either way, this is what works for us, and I love it. She goes down at 10pmish and sleeps til about 930am to 10am, talk about a great schedule! Do what you think is best for you and your baby, let no one tell you otherwise. I have learned that, and I am happier just letting the crappy advice from others just roll off my back. Because in the end it’s the bond you have with your child that you can’t go back and fix!

Janell on

My son the moment my hasban and I brought him home from the hospital he slept with us and then about 6 months we bought a crib and put him in it during nap times and he fell in love with it. so it really depends on the mother and baby. If you are comfortable with your baby sleeping with you then you should do it until the baby is ready.

Crystal on

We let our little guy sleep in bed with us for the first year mainly because it was easier and I slept better knowing he was safe right next to me. When he turned one we made him sleep in the crib, but if he was sick or had a bad dream he was always allowed to sleep with us. Now, that he is three it’s 50/50. Sometimes he comes in and sometimes he prefers his own space. We let him decided. Be careful it doesn’t ruin the romance though, that’s the biggest problem daddy had with the little one in bed…! :)

Linda on

Do what feels right. I just recently moved my 7 month old into his crib, which of course is right next to the bed. The first couple of months I had him in a cradle, but it was just so much easier having him in bed next to me when it came to feedings. It was a great bonding experience having him that close. I loved it. Switching him over to the crib was a hard decision to make but the right one. My husband and I sleep more comfortable now and my little one loves his crib. :)

Anne on

I think that “family bed” is wonderful for bonding time. Especially for the mom and baby. However, it will make it much harder for the child when they move to their own crib/bed. It also makes it very hard on the parents because bedtime will become a huge chore every night. I have lived this first hand and although I love the “family bed” I don’t think I would do it again because of the challenge it created for the child and parents later on.

Emily on

EWWWW!! I would never have sex with my baby in bed with me and awake! Co-sleeping is too dangerous in my opinion, but as a parent you have to choose for yourself. I have heard too many stories of babies being suffocated by a parent. I do know that many times these are parents who have been drinking or doing drugs….but still. I just preferred not to take that risk. My kids didn’t have any trouble sleeping in their own cribs and have no trouble sleeping at now. They are 2 and 5.

Katie on

I have a 4 month old little boy and before he arrived I was adament that he was sleeping in his own bed. I had read numerous articles on the pros and cons and that what I had decided. Well when he arrived everything changed. I am breastfeeding and it was and is much easier for him to sleep with us. I know the risk and I put him a cozy comfort which is a wedge so he can’t roll over. Even knowing the risk i feel very safe with him next to me. I love the bond that we share.

Frankie on

My cousins baby was a couple months old and died napping in his parents bed

Paige on

Both of my son’d have co-slept with us we love it they love it.I feel as some other mom’s said one day before you know it it will be a struggle for them to hug you at all so get all the cuddles you can now.my 6 year old can sleep on his own with no problem and people always comment on how confident and secure both my boy’s seem and I did the whole attatchment parenting thing they both weened themselves from breatfeeding.you know your kid’s and you learn from knowing them what works best for you all of our older family told us not to co sleep but we ignored them all how can you resist I couldn’t it’s not like you’ll have a 10 year old boy wanting to sleep in the bed with mom and dad.lol.I sleep better they slept better and sids is not caused by co-sleeping.

Emily on

I typically feel that whatever works best for mommy and baby is the best idea, but I really think the safest option is for babies to have their own sleeping spaces. I worked in a nonprofit organization where I saw too many infant deaths related to co-sleeping (falling off the bed, suffocating, parent rolling over on child, etc.)

My little girl slept in a bassinet for the first 12 weeks, then started sleeping in her own bed. It helped get a better sleep schedule for her because as they get older, they really can’t go to sleep until mommy does because they’ll roll off the bed if no one is watching.

I think you are a WONDERFUL mother, and Mason seems like a happy little boy!

Amanda on

Kourtney,
You know your baby the best do what your natural motherly instincts are telling you do!!!

Brooke DuBois on

Just to clarify — cosleeping is defined as sleeping in close proximity to your child (i.e., in the same room, in close quarters). This is different than cobedding — which is putting your infant in your bed. And while women in developing nations often cobed with their infants — they do so on mats (not soft mattresses) which alters factors from a scientific perspective.

Twinkie on

I slept with my baby boy until 3 mths and it was a beautiful experience. I would do it all over again and will definitely do the same with my next child.

Becky on

My son was born the day ofter yours and he sleeps only in his crib at night. He doesn’t know the difference and I sleep much better myself. As a new mother also, just listen to the advice and form your own conclusions. If Mason is happy and healthy, then you’re obviously doing a great job. He is a beautiful little boy- Now teething……that’s another story. Mine just cut his first tooth and he steady runs his tongue over it like an old man! Too cute!

Lily on

Transitioning your child out of your bed is not hard if you do it right. I have friends who had a much harder time getting their child out of a crib into a toddler bed than I had getting my son out of my bed into his own. I think it helps to move them to their own bed that is big enough for you to lay down in too, if need be. I switched my son from my bed to a futon mattress on the floor in his room on his 1stt birthday. It was perfect for us because I could still lay down and nurse him in the night if need be, or fall asleep in there with him. Then if I woke up, I could get up and go back to my own bed without disturbing him. It was a very easy switch for him to make and I am planning to do the same with my newborn daughter who is currently co-sleeping with me at night (sleeping in her crib for naps).

Courtney on

Hi Kourtney
I love reading your blog and watching your shows and of course I love your name.
I do not have either of my little bunddles of joy with me and my husband in bed. I have always heard the crib is better just because the are in there room and it is quiet and nothing else will bother them. My son is now 2 1/2 and he moved on to a toddler bed and did great. He is comfortable in his room sleeps great. He has been sleeping through the night since he was 8 weeks old. My daughter is now 7 1/2 months old and she too went to the crib as soon as she could not fit in the bassinet. She is also very comfortable in her room and has been sleeping through the night since she was 10 weeks old.
The main reason I dont let them join my husband and I in bed is because there are too many opportunities for something to go wrong.
Rolling over on them
Sufficating them
Strangulation
Increase risk of SIDS
Rolling off the bed
Getting them to stay in own bed when time comes
Parents dont get a good night sleep.
The first time I went on Vacation and my son had to share a bed with us I was miserable he was moving everywhere and we both kept waking up. I called the front desk and asked for a crib and he did great.
Good luck on whatever yall decide.
Mason is too cute..

Val on

I did that mess, let my son sleep with me and that was indeed the wrong move, I use to try and make him feel shame to be a little boy sleeping with his mom, but he didn’t care what anyone thought I finally got him out of my bed when he was 10 years old, wrong thing to do just because you teach them to sleep in their own room has nothing to do with the amount of love you have for them and will always have for them. Now he put his infant child in her room, So, he did learn something, I guess when he had his own he did not want to start that type of attachment that he would have one day break at some point.

Liz on

I am with the “do what is best for you” group :) My girls both slept in my bed…they are now 3 and 8 and sleep in their own beds in their rooms. The time when their babies is so short and precious…just enjoy your little guy. I still have great memories of co-sleeping with my babies. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your choice…Your the mom!!! :) Good luck.

Wikas on

Whenever you want to get him used to what you want your “normal” to be, will come organically to you.

Obviously, the older they get, the harder it will be to change what has become the norm so go with your instincts on when you think it’s right to switch Mason to his crib. In all cases, no matter what you do and no matter how you want things to be, he’ll always greet you with a smile first thing in the morning. Just go with the flow :)

Emily on

As a mom who has done it both ways, I feel it is much better to put them in their own room and crib/bed. When my oldest daughter was born she slept in our bed and she is now 6 YEARS old and just began sleeping through the night in her own bed! It also caused a big rift between me and my husband. He spent many many nights on the couch because those cute little babies turn into cute big kids and they start to take up much more room. She also never seemed rested and would wake up all hours of the night and put up a big fight in the mornings before school. The second time around, we decided we didn’t want to go there again and our youngest daughter slept in her own crib since day one. She is a wonderful sleeper and wakes up with a smile every morning. Ultimately it is the parent’s decision but there are many other ways to bond with your children. I take the time to lay with my girls in THEIR beds at night so that we can talk and be close and have some mommy time. Seperate beds means a happy family in our case!

ALK on

My sister just had a baby a month ago and it appears they now sell co-sleeping units called a Snuggle Nest. The SnuggleNest allows the parents to co sleep but gives the baby a some protection against a parent rolling over, since it has soft “walls” on all sides. I think co-sleeping is great as long as you keep Mason safe! Try a SnuggleNest!

Natalie on

Here are some links on how to cosleep safely –

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

http://babyparenting.about.com/od/sleeping/a/cosleep.htm

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html

Here are some guidelines from that last link…

* Parents should not sleep with their babies if they are smokers or have ingested alcohol or drugs.
* Bedding should be tight fitting to the mattress.
* The mattress should be tight fitting to the headboard of the bed.
* There should not be any loose pillows or soft blankets near the baby’s face.
* There should not be any space between the bed and adjoining wall where the baby could roll and become trapped.
* The baby should not be placed on his stomach.
* Some sources also say not to put a baby on a waterbed to sleep.

Kelsey on

When we brought our son home from the hospital, we spent the first six weeks trying to get him to sleep longer than an hour and a half – with no luck. He was waking every other hour – ugh. I had heard about co-sleeping and how it helps baby feel safe and secure to hear mommy’s breathing or something, so we tried it out. The VERY FIRST NIGHT in our bed, he slept four hours. We let him sleep there for several months and then easily transitioned him to his crib. I’m sure you’ll make a decision you’re comfortable with and that is best for your baby. And that’s what counts!!

Steph on

My daughter co-slept in our bed for 3 months. I loved it! Youre the best Kourtney—-love the show and your baby blog!

Mallory Knight on

No, No, No! I do not think that a child should be in their parent’s bed. I have an 18 month old son and he has always slept in his bed. I want my son to know that mommy and daddy have their own space and he has his own space. Bonding and spending time together should happen when they are awake, not sleeping in the bed with you.

Annie on

Hey Kourtney,
Do what is best for you & Mason. To others what might not work for them is not only “special” but also sanity to you! My 4 year old daughter Taylor slept with us out of survial because despite every attempt she wouldn’t sleep any other way. Also our lives are insane, i also own boutiques (makeup mini sephora type) my husband travel all over the country with this crazy lifestyle it was the one time of day the world seemed to stop and i could bond with her. I won’t lie, the breaking this habit is not easy and as a result she’s still sleeping with us. Fortunatley my husband is gone all week ( well not really fortunately that’s he’s gone) but we have a huge bed & there’s plenty of room.

We now have a 3 month baby girl, Parker and she’s “joined the fun!” I have her bassinet by the bed but I always pull her in. I’m addicted to her snuggling on my chest! We always use caution moving pillows & blankets and keep Taylor on the other side but there’s a peacefulness of having us all together. Somehow sleeping totally straight with my arms around this baby we still all get rested!

We have a huge mountain to climb breaking this habit but these special times will be worth it! While I’m watching Kourtney & Khloe in Miami I can look over & kiss my babies on the commercials!!

Bottom line is as long as you are being responsible in creating as safe an environment as you can the rest is just a personal decision for you & your family!

You look amazing by the way! Now if the belly bandit had just worked for me, 12 weeks out & I don’t think I’ll ever be seeing my size 2 jeans again!!

Congrat’s,
Annie

Jeanine on

She needs to get Mason back to his own bed. My sister tried this and she still has her daughter that is now 12 in her bed with her…..kids have beds for a reason.

Michelle on

Kourtney-
I am a mother of 3 girls (ages 9,7 and 15 months). All of my kids slept in bed with us. Our first daughter Vienna nursed until she was 14 months and slept in bed with us until she was a little over 2! Many people gave their opinion on how I was spoiling her and making her too dependant on me- jokes of how I would be called to her high school to nurse her, etc. Well, she transitioned over into her own bed with no problems and is now almost 10! Our second daughter Kyla nursed and slept in bed with us until she was over a year and now our 15 month old daughter Aliah has slept in bed since day one and just stopped nursing last week! I love and value that time more than any other. I am a working mom, so 5 days a week we are apart during the day and then there are so many other activities that take our time. I look forward to crawling into bed with my little snuggly baby and spending every second holding her. She is our last and I am cherishing every second. There is nothing like waking up to a snoring baby with rosy cheeks! I love that if I have to get up for a second, that she reaches out for me in her sleep to cuddle back in. All of our kids are independant and smart. I have to practically beg our older girls to give me a hug or cuddle on the couch. Time goes too fast and my suggestion is to hold on to that time by co-sleeping. I dread the day when Aliah goes to her own bed and I loose my favorite time of the day. I love my husband and love to snuggle in with him too but it is not the same and he is hairy! You are a great mom and that time together is priceless. Everyone seems to have an opinion on it but if mom and baby are loving it then how can it be anything but right. Oh and I love your show! I even got my outdoors, hunting, fishing, rugged hubby to watch it and he actually enjoys it and admits it!

Amanda on

I am the Mother of a 2.5 year old little girl and I am also a nanny. My daughter was breastfed until 19.5 months and she only slept in bed with us for the first month, as I was recovering from a c-section. From my experience with my own child, as well as the children that I care for on a daily basis, for the first 8 months or so I don’t know that it matters if your child sleeps with you or not. After that time, as they near the 1 year mark, they become more aware of their surroundings and their routine. It will be more of a challenge to get him to sleep in his own bed if he isn’t doing it by 1 year old.

That being said, if you ensure that he uses his crib and his room for naps, than it won’t be foreign to him. The main thing (in my opinion)is for your child to be able to soothe himself to sleep and feel safe, knowing that Mommy and Daddy are always close by.

Co-sleeping is awesome and a great bonding opportunity for patents, but be careful of how long it goes, as it could be troublesome the larger your child gets. When they are cute and cuddly it’s great – when they are 2 and thrashing around, it’s not so great.

I’d start with a bedtime routine – we do bath, books, and then bed. We used to breastfeed as well when she was younger. If you stick to the routine starting now and then carry on with it when you want to get him into his own bed, he’ll likely be able to connect the dots:)

Goodluck and Enjoy:)

cara on

My 7 month old sleeps really well, I always put her in her crib for naps (unless we are out) and she goes to bed in her crib from about 7pm to 6am, but she always comes in bed with me when she wakes in the morning. We usually sleep in until 8am and I have to say it is the best thing in the world to sleep next to your baby. I cherish that time the most! My husband usually goes into the living room when she wakes, so we have a lot of room for the little one, but I think it is definetely momma’s choice for what works best for you and your baby. You had Mason just a little while after me, and I didn’t let my little girl sleep with me until she was about 4 months old (after she was out of the bassinet). Only because I think the older they get the more mobile and alert they are. So just enjoy this time, I’m sure he will adjust fine once it’s time for him to go to his own bed:)

babybean on

My daughter slept in our bed until she was 9 months. Having her next to me while I was nursing through the night saved me! (My pediatrician recommended cosleeping to help with nighttime feedings, by the way!) By 9 months she was crawling around the bed at night and no one was sleeping really well anymore. Moving her to a crib was a tough transition, but it wasn’t that bad. Instead of nursing her to sleep, I nursed her until she was drowsy and then put her down in the crib and kept a hand on her until she fell asleep. The first night she hated it, and we had to keep putting her down until she finally fell asleep. After a few tough nights she got the hang of it.

Michelle on

I did the exact same thing as you did. I had our daughter sleep in a bassinet next to our bed for the first 3 months. It was so much easier breastfeeding her that way. Especialy because she was up every 2-3 hours. Then at about 3 months I moved her into her crib. She transitioned very well. My husband would LOVE for her to sleep in our bed but it makes me too nervous. So on the weekends (Saturday and Sunday mornings) I bring her in our bed and she lays with us. When she’s older and is not at risk of SIDS I’ll probably let her sleep with us more. I think whatever works best for the baby and the parents is the best decision. And whatever gets you sleep! :)

Kelly on

My brother slept with my parents when he was a baby… It was all fine until 10 years later, and he still wanted to sleep with them. Be careful not to let this happen to Mason!!

Violet on

I’ll ask the obvious question. What about the intimate relationship between a husband and a wife? How in the world would you spend years with your children sleeping in the bed with you and maintain this? I just think the concept is kind of weird. Maybe sometimes if the child is scared, but having no time in the bedroom alone with one’s husband once children are born seems to be a recipe for damage to the relationship.

erin on

yes i have always liked co-sleeping with my baby but they are totally right – the longer he does it the harder it will be. my son is 2 and we are trying to break him of co-sleeping and its HARD. I say bite the bullet before he is one.

stacey on

our son started in a basinnett when we first brought him home and then at 4 weeks he switched to a crib. he has always started in his own crib but at about 5 months old he started waking at 5am and i was not ready to get up so i would bring him into our bed for a couple hours. it then became him waking at 11pm or midnight and would only go back to sleep in our bed. he is now 16 months old and starts out in his crib but still wakes around 3 or 4 am and comes in to our bed. i always said i would never have my baby sleep in my bed but when you will take any sleep you can get you do what works for you. i like the cuddles and the closeness i get with my son since he is very active and not the super cuddly type and he has had nights where he has slept the whole night in his own crib that i have faith he will be able to transition to his own bed for the whole night with minimal fuss. you’re his mom you do what’s best. always follow your instincts!

Lisa on

My advice is to stop the co-sleeping. My six year old boy still comes and gets in the bed with us and we can’t get him to stop. I feel like I haven’t had a good nights sleep in six years.

kelly on

Kourtney you and scott should come out with your own show with the baby::)

Sharon on

I work in maternal child health and in our county, co-sleeping is the leading cause of infant death due to suffocation. This is a safety issue, not an opinion on whether or not it is the right thing to do. Become educated on the facts of co sleeping and advocates will change their mind.

scented01 on

Everyone has their own personal choice, but just from experience as a grandmother – my children of course slept in their own beds,and were great sleepers, but when my children became parents they tried the co-sleeping. The only problem with that is that my grandaughter would NOT go to bed or to sleep unless her parents were here with her – and that was when she was about 10 months old! She stayed awake the entire night until they arrived back home (after 2:00 am). Obviously it was too much of a security issue to go to sleep on her own, and it kind of limits parents who have an opportunity to go out once in a while.

Kristin on

I have to say that co-sleeping is really a personal decision and whatever is best for you is fine. In my own opinion, since you’re asking :o), being a mom myself, is that a baby should be sleeping in their own bed as young as possible. I feel it’s better for the mom AND the baby. You as a mom need your rest so much! I remember when I could hardly sleep with hearing every little noise that came from the monitor! So I couldn’t have imagined my little peanut right next to me; I would never have gotten sleep. Also, him sleeping alone in his own bed allows him to be comfortable sleeping at the granparents’ houses without them having to sleep with him. I feel it’s important for them to have a level of independence. There are so many other opportunities to bond and cuddle. My 21 month old not only takes a great nap during the day, but he also sleeps like 12-13 hours a night, going to bed at 8:30 p.m.! And he’s been doing that for a long time! I think if I had allowed him to sleep with us, it would have been different. And I have always felt that mine and my husband’s bed is our sacred place. I really recommend reading the book “Baby Wise” (which is controversial and I really don’t care, lol, because it’s amazing). It gives some good advice on how to establish a good schedule. All in all, you’re going to do what’s best for you and your baby, but these are my thoughts.

Jennifer on

My son is three, and we still co-sleep. It was originally done since I breastfed him for so long, but now both my husband and I enjoy that bonding time together in the bed. My son now asks to cuddle every night. It’s every family’s personal decision, but one that has worked out really well for us. My son is about the most loving caring child- and everyone around him says so.

It’s up to you and what you feel comfortable with. But I commend you for co-sleeping with him. Babies are not meant to be sleeping alone, and we are the only culture that allows a baby to sleep in another room. Co-sleeping studies are now showing it fosters independence. I have seen that in big ways with my child. Look at the studies. Read Elizabeth Pantley’s book. And do you research. Only you know what is best for your child!

donna on

I really believe it is your choice. My boyfriend and I have two children now 6 and 8. They both slept with us!! We enjoyed every minute. They both transferred easily to their beds when they were older. You can never take back the first two years of life for your little one. We cherished each and every moment. I never understood how people could just leave them in a crib crying. We did exactly what you are saying. When we slept they were with us. When it was a nap they slept in there crib. Good luck!!

katie0819 on

Kourt, I think it is totally up to you. My 11 month old occassionaly sleeps in bed with us, when he is sick and having trouble staying asleep. I have to say, those nights are so special and so sweet. But it is likely that Mason will get attached to sleeping with you, and the transition to a big boy bed or sleeping in a crib might be rough. If you’re ready to handle that transition when it comes, I say continue having him sleep with you if that feels right for your family. I guarantee you that five years from now when you can’t get him to slow down long enough to sit in your lap for five minutes, you’re going to look back and be thankful for the snuggly time you got with him. He’s alreadya few months old so I think it’s probably pretty safe for him now. Plus even if your tiny a$$ rolled over on him, it’s not like you’d squish him!!

Linda on

i did a research study on it & it shows co-sleeping gives you bonding time!! just dont let Mason co-sleep with you for too long as the problem is detachment!!

Lily on

Read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Mark Weisbluth and it will change your life. It is the main job as a parent to be loving first and a teacher of all things…one of the things you have got to teach children is how to self soothe and get themselves to sleep. Anymore, parents are forgetting that they are the parent and not the friend and fixer of all things. It only benefits them for life to have these skills…and you never know the day when you may not be around. Teach your child skills to enable independace and a happy, restful, well adjusted life. So I say crib it up!…and snuggle and play during times other than sleep.

Emily on

People do what works for them. For me, since I stay at home during the day with my boys (ages 3 and 1), I really need some time to myself and bedtime is pretty much the only time that happens! Having said that, when we travel, my 1yo usually ends up in bed with my husband and me because he doesn’t seem to sleep as well in unfamiliar places. It’s hard to do unless you have a king-sized bed! But I like having my bed to myself! :)

Erin on

I co-slept with all three of my boys and they are all in their own beds now. They won’t want to stay with you forever, so cherish the time if that’s what you find works best for your family.

Jennifer on

DON’T DO IT!!! My son has slept in bed with us since he was born. It was ok at first but now he is still sleeping with us at 4 1/2 and seems like it will never change. I havent gotten a good nights sleep since he was 1! He’s either digging his foot in my back all night or kicking me in the face! Good Luck!!

stephanie on

I did it with my baby boy. and i loved every moment of it it was harder when he got older but he got used to his own bed and even know he will come and crawl in bed with me and we talk. I loved that bonding time follow your instincts.

TaraP on

I’m a new mother. I always thought having the baby in bed with you was a bad thing. My baby is 2 months now. When I’ve only had six hours sleep in 48 hours, I”ll try anything. And I did. It turns out I have a cuddly baby. He cries until he gets held. So, after a 4am feeding and then he’s up again at 7am, I go get him from the crib and bring him to bed with me. I wrap him in my arms and luckily I can get a few more hours of much needed sleep. After having my own child, they are a lot of issues I will no longer judge other people on how they cope. Until you have walked in my shoes……..

Hilary on

It will be harder to get him to sleep on his own. plus, his sleep will not be as good (& neither will yours!)as he gets bigger. You & Scott should try to keep your couple space your own. I know it’s wonderful to sleep with them when they ae tiny & I got warm & fuzzy when you talked about breathing in rythym because I remember that with my son…but my son is now 13 y.o. & I am speaking from experience gf! Your baby is SO darling!

Jennifer on

Hopefully you get to read this Kourtney there are a lot of comments! My oldest who is now 2 1/2 slept in a little bed that’s made to go in your bed. When he was exactly 3 months old he moved to his crib in his room and did wonderfully. At about 21 months, we put him in a toddler bed and he adjusted perfectly, we never had any bedtime issues. When we told him it was time for bed, he’d crawl right in and go to sleep. Since then, I went back to work and we had another baby. The stress of it all has REALLY effected his sleeping. About 6 months ago, he started sleeping with us. After a few months, we were able to get him back into his bedbut in the past month or so, he’s back with us. I miss the alone time with my husband at night and it is true: the older they get and the longer they sleep with you the HARDER it is to transition. BUT I also LOVE snuggling with him throughout the night and seeing his sleepy eyes open in the morning. It is really special. I think that you’re fine for now, definitely let him take naps in his crib as often as possible, and maybe in another 6 months or so try getting him to his bed. Of course it might be just as hard for you to transition. =) Another trick we try is letting him go to sleep in our bed, then moving him to his bed after he falls asleep. Usually by the time we wake up, he’s somehow back in our bed but at least he understand he has a room and a bed that is for him to sleep in. If you were going to wait until 18 months or 2 years to switch him over, getting him a “big boy” bed and new sheets and room decor is a really good trick and will make him excited about being in his room. Good luck and until you switch, enjoy every little snuggle!

Elizabeth on

Kourtney,
You are a wonderful mother from what I see. My advice on the co-sleeping would be to really think twice about letting your child sleep in his own room. As parents we need to foster independence in our children. Infants even need to be able to soothe themseleves back to sleep when they wake in the night. It helps them later on. It also allows them to know that you are there when they need them. But, they are ok if they are alone for more than a few minutes. Being in the childcare profession I see many children who are not allowed to foster this trait in themselves and later on they are afraid of letting mom out of their sight for more than an instant. So, I guess do a little of both. Protect but, let the indepence develop also. Good Luck.

jen on

Some great comments, but it may end up making you more confused. You need to do what is right for you and your baby and not listen to what others say. Listen to your mommy instincts and don’t worry about all the judgmental people out there! (I wish mothers would be more supportive of each other) Both my kids slept with us and moved to their own beds before 3 years old, no problem. To make the transition easy, I would just lay with them for the few minutes it took them to fall asleep. Eventually, they didn’t even need that. Today they are 5 and 7 and they are the BEST sleepers ever! No issues at all. Again, just go with your instincts.

marisela on

when my son was born. he slept with me because our place was very small that a crib couldn’t fit. then when he was from 1yr-3 1/2 yrs old. he still slept with me. by the time he was ready to go to school at the age of 4yrs he tarted to sleep in his own bed and off and on he came to my bed because of nightmares, but then when i sang him some songs ande caressed his hair for him to sleep he would or place a music. he went to falling asleep. now he’s 15yrs old and he goes to his room when he knows it’s time to get to bed without me telling him it’s time to go to bed. on the other hand i have my daughter and she’s 12yrs old going on 13 in 21 more days. she’s geting too attached to me alot. she’s allways wanting to do things for me like pluck my eyebrows or a foot massage or well you name it. she will do to keep me happy and for her to stay with me in mom’s room. but she has her own bed in her own room. and their are times i want my bed to myself. but you just have to FOLLOW YOUR HEART. YOU WILL KNOW WHEN YOU WANT YOUR SON TO SLEEP IN WITH YOUR AND WHEN IT’S TIME FOR HIM TO SLEEP IN HIS OWN BED. BY THE WAY HE’S GETTIN CUTE AND HANDSOME. WAY DA GO KOURT. CHAO

Pam Borchardt on

As the parent, you get to decide how you are going to raise your own child. But as a public figure, it’s unfortunate that you would chose a behavior that goes directly against the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations.

In California, hospitals are mandated to give you information on Safe Sleep, so you should have been told about the latest recommendations before you took your son home from the hospital. Bed-sharing for the very young baby is very dangerous. American beds were not designed for the safe sleep of babies. We generally have soft mattresses, pillows and comforters that are hazards to babies. It’s difficult to believe that a parent can overlay an infant, but it happens to well-intentioned, good parents. An infant does not have the ability to push away or move away from an obstruction.

Bring baby into your bed to cuddle, to snuggle, to play when you are awake but put baby in his own safe sleep space to sleep. While the risk for SIDS begins to decrease at 6 months of age, the risk for an accidental suffocation is still there.

Most babies live but why risk it? Parents and babies bond best when awake.

Pam Borchardt
Executive Director – SIDS of Illinois, Inc.

andrea on

My philosophy is that whatever the situation regarding your child, if it feels natural to you as a parent then do it. Who cares what books, friends, family or anyone else says. It’s your child, if it works for you and your child then what is the harm. A happy, healthy baby is the end result we all are trying to achieve.

Gabby on

I think that as a mother you will innately know what is right for you and your baby. What other people share is never really 100% so you have to do what you feel is good for you and your baby. Only YOU know what you can handle. I think asking those generations older may offer more insight than your actual cohort because many years ago ideas and practices were not as biased and judgmental with internets and mass communication.

Check with the old-schoolers! =)

Follow your heart! That is what Baby Mason wants!

Amyk on

Co sleeping is absolutely safe for breastfeeding mothers, we have an intuition about our babies, there is a doc in Wisconsin I believe who researches co-sleeping (has for years). His studies have found that 100% of deaths occurred in formula feeding infants that slept with an adult. I don’t find it dangerous when I first had my daughter I told everyone i would not sleep with her but now when she gets up in the middle of the night she sleeps with me. For naps she generally sleeps in her crib.. I love Co-sleeping!!!! Humans have been sleeping with their young alot longer than we have been separating them into a crib, it’s totally natural!!

ori on

I feel bad when 2 adults sleep in one bedroom and the little 2 year old sleeps by herself in another room…I just feel guilty an by the way it’s therapeutic for me after a long day to cuddle with my baby and smell her hair and I’m sure she enjoys it too…this doesn’t mean I chose cosleeping! it just happened this way and I decided to go with it…but every once in a while I separate her so she can experience independence too…if you feel comfortable with cosleeping do it but let him experience the separation too…if you sleep better, as a result of not having separation anxiety or not having to get up and walk to his room or bed all the time, you will be a happier mom during the day.

Lorelai on

Hi Kourtney! I think you should do whatever you feel suits you best. I have TONS of friends who cosleep with no issues. I have had both my babies in my bedroom when they were just newborns but after a while (2 months old) I moved them in their own rooms. Why? cause both my husband and I like it better that way. I think the most important thing is that both parents agree on cosleeping, then both agree to take all that it means, good and bad. There are some babies that transition well to their own bed/room, others don’t. I do have a cousin that still is trying to get her 5 yr old son out of bed, but I think if you decided to cosleep you’ve got to make the transition as easily as possible, and better, let them guide the way and not push them to leave the room, i think that only makes them anxious and wanting to stay with mom and dad. Whatever you decide I think it will be fine! later he can pick his own room decorations etc so he feels like a big boy moving to his big boy bed ;) Mason is sooo adorable! Congrats!

Heather on

Hey Kourtney! My daughter is exactly 2 weeks younger than Mason…she slept in her bassinet next to my side of the bed til about 3 months old and then we put her in her crib. Putting in her crib across the house from me mad me soooooo nervous. We ended up getting a monitor that had the camera so I could see her and that made it A LOT easier on me. She has slept in the bed with me only a hand full of times- and those were just for little naps. Im just afraid if I let her sleep in the bed with us it would be hard to get her to sleep in her own bed when she gets older. Every mother has her own way of doing things and I believe you should go with what you feel is right. But seriously if you dont have a monitor with a camera you should invest in one. I absolutely LOVE mine!!! Your son is adorable and I love reading your blogs- keep them coming and God Bless You All!!!

Stephanie on

Look to the other cultures of the world – almost all truly nurturing cultures have mother and child inseparable for the first two years. It is a healthy thing for both mom and baby – as long as mom wants to do this. Do what you feel is right, plain and simple!

Stephanie Costa on

I have two kids, Mason is almost 8 and Stella is 8 months old. I never did let my children sleep in my bed. I was always a stay at home mom so I did not feel that I needed “bonding” time in my “sleeping” bed. I put both kids in thir own rooms, in their own cribs at 3 weeks old. I have a monitor and our room is not far from theirs. I just want my bed to be my place of rest. I dont want to worry all night about the babies. I need a good nights sleep after being a full time mother all day. Plus I dont know about you, but I have sex in my bed. lol!

I believe babies who sleep in their own personal space are more well adjusted and adaptable human beings. There is no “transistion” strains from your bed to their bed. It is just easier if you start early. You’re more worried about it than the baby is!

Little Mason will be fine, trust me and so will you!
but you know what.. Do want you want ultimately,thats just my two cents..

Much Love,
From one Mason’s Mommy to another.

Stephanie Costa
Mommy to Mason & Stella

Faith on

My husband and I decided that our daughter would sleep in her crib/bed at night and in the morning she could cuddle with us. She is 2 1/2 now and every morning she comes and snuggles with who ever is in bed still. It seems that when they get to about 2 they want a little independence and parents should respect that.

Christine on

Each baby/child is different. I co-slept with both my babies and my oldest is almost 4 and I had NO problems getting him to his own bed once he was 3 1/2. It was easy to reason with him and talk to him about it for us. I also co-slept with my parents when I was a kid- there is nothing wrong with it. Western culture is not accustomed to co-sleeping. Many other cultures sleep with their children- it is natural.
Don’t let anyone tell you what you are doing is wrong.
Enjoy it! I know it sounds cliche but it really does go fast.

Amyk on

here is a link to a news broadcast from wisconsin telling about the link to bottle feeding and co sleeping….

http://www.fox6now.com/news/witi-100503-bed-sharing,0,7099533.story

Mom of almost 5 on

A good friend of mine lost her baby due to co-sleeping when I was pregnant with my first. He was only 4 mos. old and was apparently strangled by the sheet somehow. 4 children later and working on my 5th, none have EVER slept with me and they have all been perfect sleepers! I nursed all of my children until at least 12 mos. and it was MUCH easier on me than I expected. All slept thru the night by the time they were 1-2 mos old. I kept them all in my room in their bassinets as long as they’d fit, then once they were out of them, they went to their own cribs -own rooms. I kept/keep monitors in all the rooms, so that helps calm me down knowing that I can look at their sweet faces while they sleep. On occasion, when one is sick or scared, they will sneak in our room to cuddle during the night but, once they’re asleep, it’s back to their own bed. I’ll never forget that unnecessary death.

kelly on

Kourtney, I know you want to do what’s best & no one can tell you what that is but your heart. However, that being said I can tell you that my 1st child slept with me ( I too loved it & having her next to me). It was great for me, not for my husband. It ended up crippling my daughter with high axiety to be away from me, she slept in our bed for far too long. She was almost 5 & when she started sleeping in her bed she would get up in the middle of the night & sleep on my floor with her pillow & blanket. She is 10 yrs. old today & still ends up on my floor at least once a week! My 2nd child has always slept in his crib & now his “big boy” bed (hes’s 2yrs. old) and I can tell you it made a huge difference for everyone. So, while I say keep them in their own bed, I do miss my babies sleeping with me!
Good Luck!

mali on

parents should never feel they have to defend themselves because they are co-sleeping with their babies or young children. most adults prefer to sleep with their mates!

in other countries and cultures where infant mortality rates are much lower than here in the USA, moms are breastfeeding and co-sleeping and “wearing” their babies. our natural rhythms from our heart and respiratory rates regulate our babies systems when we keep them close. as for people who claim you cannot get them out of your bed, i did not have this issue with my three. there may be other factors behind that – like not having a routine before bedtime. mine left my bed when they wanted their own space, or when they were no longer nursing.

Kathleen on

As a NICU RN and big fan of yours, Kourtney, I’d have to urge you not to co-sleep with your baby. When parents go home from the hospital with their babies, we can’t stress enough the importance of having a seperate safe place for the baby to sleep.

Studies routinely have shown that co-sleeping increases the risk of SIDS. Since changes have been made and stressed with parents in recent years, there has been up to a 50% decrease in babies who die each year due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. My mom had all of us 6 six kids co-bed with her when we were babies. Of course we were all fine, but that doesn’t mean that that was the safest way for us to sleep. That was very typical 25-30 years ago. But, now with the important research that has come out on the topic, I know that my husband and I will definitely be having our children sleep in their crib. As much as I know I’d love the bonding and cuddle time, I could never risk something happening when I knew it was not the safest for my baby.

This website has more info on the campaign to educate parents on safe sleeping habits for their babies.

http://www.nichd.nih.gov/sids/

glee fan 8 on

he’s a cute baby!so rob kardashian in that picture!

Kacie on

I agree with everything Kattie said. We still cosleep with our 4 1/2 year old and our 3 year old. I dont know what could be better than falling asleep between two people who love you more than anything in the world. How much more satisfying can it be for a child? They will move to their beds when they are ready and hubby and I will always be able to say “remember when” fondly instead of “I wish we had cuddled them more”,

Also, yes, that chest clip needs to be at arm pit level.

Jónína on

I have four children and I always let them sleep in their bassinet at first and then their own crib. But I always had the crib beside my bed so that I could give them their pacifier and I didn’t have to get up so they always knew I was there right beside them.

So do what you think is best, because mommy knows best.

Best regards
Jónína

sheryl on

BONNIE R….yes i am from wisconsin. i am assuming you are also because you knew about all the co sleeping deaths in milwaukee in the last year. its awful that those deaths happened. it was awful to see all those on the news and see the parents and families grieving. i think a few were because parents were also drinking and rolled on to the baby. one baby even got stuck between the mattress and the wall. no matter how they happened, it was very sad those babies had to die. and i saw on the news they were talking about actually passing a law against co sleeping, but havent heard anything more about it. i am not sure what to say about the situation. its hard to tell people they cant sleep with their babies, but for safety reasons, i chose not to. for me it was better to be safe than sorry!!!

Amy on

OMG this is my biggest dilemma as a new Mom, how to sleep?!!

I had a baby right after you, my first too- a beautiful boy on January 27th so I loved reading about your pregnancy because it was so close to mine. We chose not to co sleep because we did not want to create a situation that we would have to work on later, also when we want to leave him with Grandma and Grandpa overnight then what would he do without us? :(
I LOVE LOVE LOVE all my special time with Baby Luke but I really do not want to have a 5 yr old who can’t sleep without me and from what I have been told it only gets harder to change habits as they get older.
BUT I think every Mom is different and every family is different and it may not bother you if he co sleeps for a long time so do whatever works for your family!!
Good Luck and keep blogging I need all the advice I can get!

KSmomX5 on

I am so impressed that you are really listening to your heart & not all the naysayers that pooh-pooh a mom’s internal compass & want to mold babies & children into being little adults by forcing then into unnatural independence.

All 5 of my kids(now ages 20 months-13 years) have shared sleep with us. Like breastfeeding they all weaned from our bed at different times as they out grew the need. Interestingly there was no connection to age the stopped breastfeeding & age they stated STTN or stopped co-sleeping.

With the last 2 we never even set up the crib. Naps were either on a blanket or in the car as we shuttled older siblings to activities. I find the whole preoccupation with solo sleeping so counter-intuitive. Most people want their children to grow up to find a soul mate & presumably you’d share a bed with your partner. Why then is “learning to sleep & self sooth” such a focus?

All of the kids have transitioned into sleeping with a sibling then into their own bed. Even though they all have their own rooms & own beds they gravitate to each other at night & I never know who I’ll find where in the morning! Especially in the summer it’s not uncommon for them all to be in one bed like a bunch of puppies. I think as humans we crave the comfort of others.

And obviously having kids in our bed didn’t prevent us from having more…the bed is so boring for sex anyway isn’t it?!?!

Kelly on

My son is 8 1/2 months old. From day one we had him sleeping in his crib at night. I would worry too much if we did co-sleeping- what if I rolled over on him at night and smothered him? I am a heavy sleeper and am too scared I would not wake up. I also knew that I would have separation anxiety and have a lot of trouble moving him to his own room if I started letting him sleep with my husband and I. He is very content and happy and has never had a problem being by himself in his room. But like everyone else has said, you are the mom of your child so its your decision. I don’t think co-sleeping is wrong or right, it just whatever the parent thinks is the best for their baby.

Michelle on

I just say be cautious. Not only with the SIDS issue but also with starting something you might be sorry for later. I co-slept with my son when he was a baby because I was nursing and it was easy for me. He did sleep on his own in his bed consistantly until he was 3 years old. I regret EVER sharing a bed with him.It also puts a real downer on your sex life. My sister was “big”on the “family bed” thing and she now has a 6 and 4 year old still sleeping either in her bed or on the floor of her room. It has prevented her from having any personal time or any romantic time with her husband. If you want great birth control, keep Mason in your bed. Also, if you want to get rid of Scott for good, keep Mason in your bed, he’ll only want to “share” for so long.

Reagan on

The best thing for your family is to sleep where everyone sleeps best. We coslept with 2 of our children, and our third didn’t need/want to cosleep. As a very sleep-deprived mother, sometimes the only sleep I got was when my son slept next to me. I’d never give up the sweet memory of my son, smiling his sweet toothless smile, first thing in the morning.

Anonymous on

i allowed both of my kids to sleep with me for a long time and i had no problems with getting them in there own bed. as a new mother you have to do what is best for you and your child and at that time having them in the bed with me was best.when he becomes a toddler he will want that independence and want to do things on his own rather he is in the bed with you or not so i say do what you like its your baby your first baby and you will not get that time back. enjoy him now cause they all grow up. he is so cute he looks just like your brother

Kristina on

I think every situation is different. If everyone in the bed is happy co-sleeping, then I say go for it! My son started sleeping in our bed at 1 and he stayed there until he was 2 1/2. The transition was much easier than I thought it would be, we actually started him out in our room in his own bed which he loved. We now have a 1 year old girl and she sleeps exclusively in her crib (or in my arms, she’s still not sleeping through the night). I’ve actually tried bringing her into bed with me but I can’t sleep and she wants to nurse all night long. So like I said, every child is different and if you enjoy it and Mason enjoys it and Scott can live with it, do it!

Jessa on

Pregnant now…I won’t be co-sleeping my baby. My marriage will always come first, and in bed at night is time spent with my husband. My time with my baby will not be spent sleeping. I feel like a good deal of mothers who co-sleep their children aren’t doing it because their children insist on it, but because they aren’t able to “let go” enough to put their child in their own crib, in their own room.

Sara Perkins on

My little one has slept in his crib, in his own room from about 2 1/2 weeks old. I personally couldn’t sleep well enough with all his little sleepy noises. One huge benefit for us was, I didn’t jump everytime he made a noise, I only got up when he really needed me. So by the time he was just over 3 months he started sleeping throught the night…first 9 hours, now 11 almost 12. Plus, now in the mornings if he wakes up a little earlier than 8 (which is when I get him up) he just lays in bed and talks to himself and laughs. Just a few benefits that we wouldn’t have had if he had slept with us. He is now nearly 5 months.

alise on

Do what feels natural and right for you and the baby, Kourtney. Will it be a challenge to get Mason to sleep in his crib when he’s older? Probably. Just keep in mind that transitions are inevitable, so you might as well go with your instincts :) It’s really nobody’s business, anyway.

Michelle on

I always said I would never let my daughter sleep with me….and then she got sick with a bad cold at 3 months and since then its been back and forth. We finally got her to sleep in her crib and then we went on vacation, where she slept with us for a week. Now, we are having the hardest time getting her back to her crib!! The thing is now that she is bigger it is sooo much harder because she moves sooo much!! It is killing my back giving up sleeping space so she has more room. I say stop while you’re ahead!! The longer he sleeps with you the waaay worse it is gonna be later. And remember he is only getting bigger and is gonna start moving all over the place before you know it. And then your back is gonna be killing you like mine is. Plus, you and Scott need alone time too! If you don’t get any at night then I do not know when you will.

Liz on

My cousin’s baby died from co-sleeping. While they where asleep they pulled the covers up over her face on accident and when they woke up she wasn’t breathing. Also, to the lady who posted they shouldn’t sleep in a carseat unless in the car. My dr told me to let my children sleep in the carseat’s bc they had breathing problems and they where able to breathe better being propt up.

Jennifer on

While I understand the temptation to co-sleep, it is a fact that the majority of children who die from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) were co-sleeping. Removing the pillows from a bed is great, but sheets, the wall, and other individuals contribute to risk for suffocation. In addition, crib mattresses are firm and adult mattresses are substantially softer, also increasing the risk for suffocation. Until your baby is able to roll over and crawl it is NOT SAFE to co-sleep! Please wait until a baby is older to consider this! They also sell infant beds that attach to the side of an adult bed if you really want your infant right next to you!

LALA on

YES TO CO-SLEEPING!!!! Women have done it for centuries. It is such a short period in life that your baby will actually want to be that close to you. I love co-sleeping w/ my little guy and all of the La Leche books say it is safe. Obviously be safe and smart about it w/ pillows, maybe guard-rails, and no-no to alcohol.. But if you are breastfeeding that really shouldn’t be a priority anyways!

ANK on

I co-sleep with my 3 month old baby girl and absolutely love it! We have an arm’s reach co-sleeper, but I really only use it for naps. She sleeps much more soundly in my arms and it allows me to get better sleep.

Listen to your instincts and do what is best for your family! Everyone likes to share horror stories of kids not being able to sleep on their own after co-sleeping, but I know many people whose children shared their bed for a while and then had no trouble transitioning to their own beds when they or the parents decided it was time.

D on

Crib 100% so that my husband and I can have our time together, too!

Melissa the NY'er on

My husband & I coslept with our daughter, Alexandra until she was 10 months old (she’s 15 months now) & still do when she’s not feeling well (like now, when she’s cutting 6 teeth, including molars…ouch!!). We never thought we’d be the type to do this, but we’re happy that we had that time with her & it was definitely bonding. I had an emergency c-section & a rough recovery. My husband often works overnight shifts at the hospital so I’m home alone with her often. When I was recovering from surgery, it was so much easier to have her right next to me & I could get to her quickly & somewhat painlessly. I think she slept on my chest for my entire 3 months of maternity leave!
We were worried about transitioning her to a crib & don’t believe in crying it out. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. We just kind of went along our own way & it worked out. I still find that when she’s not in bed with me, I miss her. But I don’t miss being shoved to the edge with my bum hanging over or having a foot in my throat because she sprawls out across the bed! LOL But there’s nothing like that closeness.
I’ve heard all the stories about kids coming into their parents’ bed when they’re 6,10,…even 13! We just waited until we felt the time was right. The way I see it, when your child is all grown up, you will long for the days when you were able to hold them close & have them as a baby again. I don’t ever want to look back & think how I could’ve taken advantage more. :)

Amy on

It is so hard to break them of sleeping in your bed. We have our daughter sleep in her bed and then in the morning we cuddle in our bed for as long as we want and still get that bonding togetherness time. You and Scott need your own time together, too! :)

Leyla on

Dear Kourtney,

Just want to say I love watching your show, and find you to be funny intelligent, loving and responsible. Classic oldest child!

I have three kids. They are all five years apart. They all breasfed for about three years each and weaned themselves. They also slept with me and my husband. I loved the intimacy with my baby-I also slept better than I would have without them beside me. Responding to their need for milk was easier when I didn’t have to get out of bed. There were several things that now looking back I realize I sacrificed. One was sleeping alone with my husband-you can never regain those years but on the other hand being a devoted mom is attractive to a man. It’s just that now I find it hard sometimes sharing a bed alone with him since he was often kicked out for the sake of the baby/child and now ..well I sometimes find it hard to share my space. Just make sure you and your partner have another bed to go to-to sleep together or just talk or other things. It’s really hard but you must take care of your needs first-after the baby of course-in terms of getting enough rest, alone time self-care etc. If you start to resent the baby he will feel it. So the bottom line is to care for Mason in whichever way is best for EVERYone-especially you and Mason. He will thrive from your love no matter the sleeping arrangement. He knows you care and he’ll feel your intention of wanting to be the best mom for HIM-even if that means sleeping in a crib.You sound like a very good mother! Lucky baby Mason. Have confidence that you are doing the best you can for him-he will feel it and be fine.

Ashley on

While we were still in the hospital with my daughter our doctor came and told us to make sure we put her in her crib for our first night home. It was so hard but she sleeps like a champ at night. Still wakes up for feedings but she goes right to sleep every night.

I know of a lot of moms that do the co-sleeping and they love the experience. Mommy instincts are there for a reason and you clearly have great instincts! The proof is in that beautiful little boy :)

Sandra on

My daughter and son slept with us and I cannot say that I would change a thing about having them with us.

My daughter is very independent and when she got her own bed and own room she managed the transition effortlessly.

My son we did battle with him, but I think it was because he was realllly babied being a preemie and all.

I think sometimes babies just because they are out the womb still need our closeness and to hear our heartbeat, what is so wrong with that.. Good luck to you.

Kristine on

Cosleeping is the best. I have such fond memories. I slept with mine for several years. Yes, getting them “out of the bed” is a transition period – so what? You’ll never get that time back when they’re snuggly babies. When they’re older and don’t even want your kisses and hugs – you will treasure those sleepy nights together. Cosleeping is normal and natural – go with your gut!

shannon on

i co-slept with my daughter til she was almost 4 – single mom and i wanted her near at all times. this was great until i met my husband. he wanted nothing to do with it, so – she slept on the floor of our room til she was a little over 5. if you feel good about it and are able to help him adjust when the time is right – go for it. you will have those great – you and mason – bonding memories for the rest of your life (even if he’s too young to remember). my son (he’s now 4) sleeps with me when my husband is gone and i love it. we snuggle and i fall asleep so much easier knowing he’s right next to me. and the breathing pattern you mentioned is so awesome. still, after four years of him being his own person, when we lay in bed together, our hearts beat at the same pace and our breathing is the same. i love your posts. you are really proving a lot of people wrong by the way you’re mothering and growing as a person. great job, kourt!!!

Tonya on

I have 11 month old twins… They were born premature @ 31 weeks (boy & girl). I tried putting them in their cribs but due to some health issues I moved them to my bed to sleep to be able to watch them closer. I love the experience of falling asleep with them and should I wake up in the middle of the night I can steal their sweet kisses & smell their sweet babies skin. I also have a 10 yr & did the same co-sleeping with him. Yes it is hard to transition them to sleeping alone (2 yrs. old would be a good age), but the bond that I have with them is soooo worth the transition period I know we will have. Love every second of him being a baby because they grow up so fast!

MIA on

I co-slept with my daughter too, whom I was breastfeeding. She slept with me up until she was three. We had a conversation about it, and I explained to her how hard it was for me to sleep now that she was big. She was able to accept it pretty easily. She is now 6 and half years old, and only sometimes comes into my bed when her dad is out of town or when she has a bad dream. I am pregnant with my second daughter now and plan on doing the same thing. Many people try to stop before they are two but then I think the child just feels hurt. It was much easier for me to have a conversation with her about it, instead of dealing with the hurt feelings. You will know what is best for your child, as I did with mine. Any sooner and I would have devestated her. Your son might be more comfortable being on his own sooner, but if he isn’t you can wait until you can have that conversation with him. But you seem to have good insticts about being a mom and your childs needs. Don’t stress so much. No one has every been ruined because they slept with their mom too much (at least none that I know of ;P )

Shar on

To each his own I guess – but I dont think this is a good idea at all and I have had 3 kids. First of all it is not good for one’s marriage and secondly there is absolutely no reason for doing so. My children all came home and were put in a crib right off the bat and they were all great sleepers and have always been easy kids to get to bed. But if you want that I believe you have to start right from the start doing this. No child belongs in the marriage bed unless it is a night here and there if they are sick etc. but this is a habit that is really hard to break if you change your mind and dont want them in the bed anymore. I am really amazed to see just how many people do sleep with their children in their beds. I guess it is the new generation wave.

Sheri on

Hi Kourtney ~
I enjoy reading your blog so much. Thank you for taking tim out of your busy schudule to write it.

For the first month my son slept with us. It was alot easier. He always took naps in his crib.

My husband and i would wake everytime my son moved, and we were both a little scared we could hurt him in our sleep.

At one month, i put him in his crib to sleep and he did wonderfully. I think he likes it alot better, and we feel he is safer and that gives us a better nights sleep. I got a security system just for my son’s room with camera’s (TINY) in the master bed-room, kitchen,living room, and my husbands office in the house. We can keep a eye on him when he is asleep in his crib and can hear anything in the room.

I think you have to do what is best for your family as far as co-sleeping.
Listen to your mommy instinks they will never lead you wrong.

Mason is so cute. Your doing a great job as his Mommy and i am sure whatever decision you make will be the correct one for Mason, you and Scott. But Mason comes first..LOL..

PS- Even with the monitering stytem in place, I still check on my son atleast 3-4 times through out the night…

co-sleepin' mama on

My daughter can sleep right in my armpit until she’s 30 if she wants. It is rather annoying that even the dog seems to carve out a bigger sleeping spot than I do, but what the hay. I wouldn’t trade those quiet moments for the world — let alone for the opinions of insignificant strangers.

Amanda on

Kourtney, there is nothing wrong with having little Mason sleep with you, but as some people said once he gets older, he’s gonna have a hard time sleeping on his own in his own bed. I don’t know if this will work but try letting him sleep one week in his crib and one week with you. Hope this helps. :)

A Mother on

Let him sleep with you!!!!!!!!!!! It is one of the biggest regrets of my life that I listened to all the chatter instead of following my instincts. A “family bed” makes for happy children.

Of course safety is paramount, and I hope you’ll get many pov’s from professionals and other parents on how to make sure that you’ve done all you can to ensure safety.

stacey on

I would say yes to him sleeping with you becasue every mom wants to have the feeling of their child in the same bed with them but when he gets a little old or if you plan on having another bay then i would put him in his own bed. I have two child that are 3 year old and 5 year old and they both slept with me and my husband until 6 months ago and i think its nice having them in bed with you but it also nicer not to have them in bed with you. I wish they would have stoped sleeping with me years ago becasue it put my husband and i personal life on hold.

Cari on

I have co slept with my child since he was born. I also enjoyed the bonding, not to mention during sleep deprived nights it was much easier. Well, my baby is now 7 and he is still in my bed. I am used to it so I know no other way. He and I have an agreement that when he starts back to school in the fall as a 2nd grader, he will also be an independent sleeper. Its great to sleep with them when they are a baby, but the longer you do it the more difficult to change the situation. I gave up after he was 2 or so and just figured eventually he would want his own bed, but that’s not the case.
I wish i would have stuck with getting him into his crib as a baby, because now there is a part of him that is dependent when he should be independent. Not the worst thing as a parent that i could do as a parent, but thought that i would pass along my difficulty so maybe you can have a little easier go at it.

jackie on

Forget about the bonding aspects of co-sleeping and look at the dangers associated with it. There have been countless infant deaths because parents of small infants accidentally suffocated them in their sleep. You can still bond with Mason in a crib, and it is MUCH more safe. It is reckless for you to do otherwise.

Shannon M. on

For 5 years I worked in the Medical Examiners office (death investigations) and unfortunately saw several children die in that time due to co-sleeping with a parent.

As a mother of two I can understand the desire to be next to your baby … but the reality is it’s an unnecessary risk to take.

I felt terribly for the parents I dealt with – they will live with regret the rest of their lives. I would strongly ask you to reconsider co-sleeping.

Best wishes to you and your baby … he’s adorable! :D xo

Jessie on

As a co-sleeper I just have to chime in lol. I think you should always do what works best for you and YOUR baby/family. For us that is co-sleeping for the first year and transition was a breeze at a year old with all four of our older kids (7, 5, 3 and 1, we also have a 8wk old). I never felt sleep deprived, even during the first few weeks or teething. To both dh and I co-sleeping was rewarding and something we enjoy. As for intimacy and and time to ourselves well, first of all the bed is not the only place to have sex or connect with my spouse and second we felt MORE emotionally connected by sharing this amazing time with each of the children we created. The majority of co-sleeping incidents/deaths are from unsafe co-sleeping. If as a couple/family you chose to safely co-sleep with your child(ren) then don’t let the nay-sayers make you think your doing something horrible and bad.

Jessie on

~~~~~it is a fact that the majority of children who die from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) were co-sleeping.~~~~~

WRONG. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is diagnosed posthumously when THERE IS NO OTHER KNOWN CAUSE. And most SIDS cases happen in cribs/bassinets. I am not surprised by the ignorance spouted on co-sleeping though, people seem to respond from an emotional standpoint rather than a factual/true statistical one.

Bar Beach Boy on

My wife breast-fed both of our daughters till they were each a year old; they both co-slept and had simple easy transitions to their cribs in their own room (they share a room). Most of the “never” crowd, are subjects of male insensitivity; how do you breast-feed if you have to go next door to get the child to feed? Co-sleeping – beyond the obvious bonding and feelings of security issues – makes life much easier; the adults involved, just have to get more creative to “live with it”. If you know what I mean!

JM on

WOW! i couldn’t believe when i saw how many comments this thread already has…. to me this was a bit of a no-brainer, surely each parent should just do what is right for them and their child. what’s the big discussion? i don’t co-sleep with my children. do i care if other parents do with theirs? nope, not one iota, it’s up to them. why the big discussion over what is supposedly better? every child is different, every family is different…

Larken on

Our baby girl,(who shares a birthday with Mason!)sleeps in the bed with us every night. We all love it! It makes nursing and getting sleep so easy! Plus, its so nice to wake up to her every morning. I believe that teaching her healthy sleep habits this way will actually make it easier for her when she moves into her own bed; we’re not in any rush for that though! I have so much respect for you Kourtney; you’re showing an entire generation of girls that normal birth, breastfeeding, and co-sleeping are great for parents and babies!

JMO on

The bonding time is great but it won’t be so great when there is no baby to bond with if he/she accidentally suffocates in bed!!
There are plenty of ways to bond and snuggle when not actually sleeping! Cribs and bassinets were made for a reason!
Most people co-sleep because THEY want the bonding experience with their child not necessarily the other way around!! Babies adapt to wherever you put them and they learn to sleep just fine. But I’d much rather have my baby and know he’s safe then risk the “bonding” time and wake up one morning to discover he’s not alive!

Morgan Mayes on

Kourtney,

I want to say that I’ve really enjoyed reading your thoughts on mothering. It’s so rare for celebrities to open up about their choices, and when they do it’s normally more “mainstream”. Your choices for extended breastfeeding and cosleeping are definitely ones that lots of people have various takes on, but it’s so encouraging to see you stepping out and being honest about the choices you have made.

My husband wasn’t a fan of cosleeping or bedsharing when our first was born. The first night she was born, he slept with her in his arms. When I asked him about it, he said it was just natural.

She’s now 17 months and still sleeps in bed with us. I’ve actually heard that the longer a child sleeps with their parents, the easier the transition to their own space will be, because they’ll know there’s a safe place nearby.

I suggest ‘The Baby Sleep Book’ by Dr Sears for thoughts on sleeping from an attachment-parenting position.

Keep it up and continue as long as it’s best for you and Mason! Don’t be discouraged by those who tell you it’s a mistake to cosleep. There are SO many benefits!!! Because you’re breastfeeding, it actually helps REDUCE the risk of SIDS..

so great!

Erika on

OMG almost 500 comments?!?! This has to be a record lol

I think its the mother’s decision but putting a baby in a crib or cradle seems like the safest option!

mayfairie on

My babies both co-slept with me for the first few months of their lives. My daughter was my first and I felt the instinct to sleep with her. Then my son had acid reflux so I would sleep propped up on pillows with him on my chest so his reflux wouldn’t bother him when he was sleeping. I didn’t have to “train” them to sleep in their own beds. I knew when they were ready to move because they would fuss and move more in the middle of the night than they usually did.

My daughter moved to crib exclusively at about 6 months and my son at 10. Even though they were quite young it was their cues that told me when they were ready to move. When I moved them to their cribs there was no fussing, no issues, nothing. In fact they both slept through the night after I moved them. One hint, I always put them in their cribs for nap time so they were very familiar with them and used to sleeping on their own.

Jessica on

I love Kourtney and her parenting style. SAFE cosleeping decreases SIDS risk, NOT increases. These stories people are posting about a baby dying suddenly in bed with the parents like it only happens when cosleeping are ridiculous, SIDS is also know as CRIB death. (Remember, SIDS is of unknown cause, NOT suffocation which is a KNOWN cause.) Of course some people shouldn’t cosleep, there have been several links posted about it.

We cosleep with our 7 month old and have since day 1, our midwives encouraged it! We still get intimate time, the middle of the night is NOT the only time you can have sex! No kids sleep in bed forever and even if she stays in our bed a few years, SO WHAT? They’re precious few years and soon she’ll be grown and we’ll miss our tiny baby in bed.

Ann on

First, co-sleeping is safer than a crib (a higher percentage of babies die in cribs than their parents beds and those that do die in bed are usually alone). I slept with both of my children and it was a wonderful bonding experience. They both moved to their own rooms between 2 and 2 1/2 years old when we could communicate with words that they could come into our room at any point if they felt sick or scared. I feel quite proud that they never cried alone in a crib or woke up alone covered in bodily fluids. This has to be better for their psyches! But only co-sleep if you are able to follow the “rules” – no alcohol, no medication, no pillows and thick comforters, breastfeed on demand, and put the mattress on the floor/against the wall so that the baby does not fall off the bed.

Second, whoever is reading this, please ask Kourtney to move the carseat clip up so it can function properly if he is in an accident. I’m sure some of these other 400+ comments mentioned it, as well..

Third, carseats can cause positional asphyxia and prolonged use correlates to prolonged periods of oxygen deprivation which is bad for their brains. Even now, I prop my toddler’s head up with a towel or rolled up clothing to keep his head properly positioned in his convertible car seat. It’s the same reason/function that had those Infantino bag slings recalled. Always take the baby out of the carseat when not in the car – if you want him to stay asleep, try a ring sling, wrap, mei tai, or soft structured carrier like an Ergo or Beco.

Sol on

My oldest (who is 5 now) coslept with us until she was 3. Moved into a twin size bed at age 3 and has been there since. We had some difficult with her sleeping on her own but no more so then my friends did moving their children from crib to ‘big’ kid beds.

We are co-sleeping with our 6 month old son Louis (also born December 14th!) and will continue to do as long as it is comfortable for my partner & myself.

Co-sleeping only works if it is the best option for all parties involved. Do what works for you and Mason.

Deanna on

Sweetie, I believe that you have the right to do anything you want but please, please becareful. I lost my grandson, who was almost 6 months old, due to a tragic accident of my son-in-law sleeping with him. He actually fell asleep trying to comfort him. Started off with him on his chest and then dad fell off to sleep…woke up screaming my daughters name. That happened in Jan and I am now in total tears. Please becareful dear and all who sleep with there young ones. I don’t wish this tragedy on anyone. This happened in Jan. and my sweet daughter is still having to deal with DSS in her life and the DA trying to find charges to bring on them. That’s here in Kenosha, WI where the DA is a DI.., anyway I know how wonderful it is because I had all three of my children sleep with me. I breast fed and then laid there with them. I am a very light sleeper, I don’t know if that is what prevented me from ever rolling on them. I just think that God wanted him back. Take care all and God Bless.

Sol on

Amazing all the comments about ‘sex’ and co-sleeping…funny how did all the co-sleepers I know end up with many more kids? Clearly they figured out a way to be intimate with their husbands!

carol on

Mammals sleep with their babies – it’s natural – (as long as you don’t drink alcohol or do drugs that knock you out), you’ll know instinctively where he is in the bed, where you are, etc.- it’s perfectly safe in my opinion.

Sarah on

Co-sleeping has been wonderful for us! We have co-slept with each of our three children and around 2/ 2.5 was the age they gradually went into their own beds. Our children haven’t had difficulties switching to their big boy/girl beds when the time came, in spite of what people told us would happen: that they’d be sleeping with us forever. JUST NOT THE CASE. Enjoy it, Kourtney. Co-sleeping is the perfect fit for a breastfeeding mommy. Follow your instincts.

Ebony on

My sister and I both had sons. My son has slept in a crib since he came home from the hospital, and then he eventually got a “big boy” bed. He goes to bed with no problems. My sister had her son in the bed with her. He’s now 4 years old, and still sleeps with her. He stays up late, and won’t go to bed until my sister does. I think I made the better decision.

jc on

I agree with co-sleeping. I always looked forward and loved feeling my babies next to me. I would not have done anything different. My boys are now 11 and 7, each sleep in their own bed. They are happy, vibrant, and very independent boys. I wouldn’t mind most of the advice on the blog, just go with your instinct and you won’t be wrong.

Sara on

i just wanted to say that i think co-sleeping is wonderful! our son is 19 months old, and he’s been in bed with us since day one. whatever you choose for you and your family is the right choice :)
also, about these studies? they never tell us what condition the parents are in when they place their child in bed with them. have they been drinking? or doing drugs? or are they just really heavy sleepers? and most of the time those are the reasons! check out those studies!! and we are the only culture that doesn’t believe in “same room sleeping”.
BUT there are so many safe ways to co-sleep. you can even get a co-sleeper that hooks to the side of your bed, if you and your husband aren’t comfortable with baby between you. there are so many wonderful options!
our son snuggles up to me, i make sure his chin is up and not touching his chest, or he is on his side, and we both drift off to sleep. (no blankets for him though)he’s such a happy kid too! i believe in it wholeheartedly.
wonderful and amazing things come from co-sleeping! :)

Sara on

i need to add one more thing – my husband and i have never had a problem with getting our alone time either. as a matter of fact, he says he wouldn’t be comfortable with our son sleeping in a different for the night :)
so it’s just what you choose, and you know best!

Cassandra on

Kourtney, what a wonderful topic!! I feel it really is a personal choice. Every parent has their own feelings on the subject, and it changes sometimes once the baby is born.

When our first son was born, we put him in his crib. I looked at my little guy in this big, empty crib and I scooped him up immediately! I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving him in there!!

He slept in our bed for the first three years of his life. He started out in a sleep positioner, and as he got older he would end up curled up on my right side, under my arm. I think he was as much a security for me as I was for him!!

He started talking about having a bed of his own when he was 2 1/2. We held off until he was almost three since we wanted to make sure that he would be ready to sleep in a bed of his own.

I agree with you that it is a special time. It’s so precious. They grow so quickly, that you want to treasure that time. Plus, I really wasn’t that concerned about whether or not there would be problems in the future as far as getting him to sleep in a bed of his own.

Our oldest son is seven now. He sleeps in his bunk bed while his younger brother (five) sleeps in his. There are mornings that I wake up and he is curled up next to me, almost in the exact same spot as when he was a baby. He’s a lot bigger now, but I cherish that time as much now as I did then!!

It really comes down to what choice is right for you and your family. My husband was fine with it. That really is the only approval you need!!!

Best wishes to you!!

mary on

I am currently safely co-sleeping with my third baby. We co-sleep until they night-wean, and then transition easily to their own spaces. Safe co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS, which was a major factor for me. It also makes breastfeeding so much easier. And we were able to conceive my son before my daughter was done co-sleeping- just not at night/in the bed. ;)

I also wanted to mention Mason’s chest clip is too low in that adorable picture- it should be at armpit-level. (I saw I wasn’t the first to say it- as a car seat enthusiast, it was the first thing I noticed!)

Quinault on

I have co-slept with all of our children so far. It is especially helpful when life is somewhat chaotic. My husband was deployed much of the last 7 years. Our eldest is almost 9. With the traveling I did (to hang with friends and family) the time changes and general chaos is was helpful to the kids and I to co-sleep. My husband just returned from Afghanistan. While he was gone I had all 4 sleeping like cordwood in our bed. (Our eldest sleep walked and would do it much less when she slept in my room). I tandem nursed our two youngest (then 2 and newborn) as well. Co-sleeping allowed me to get much more sleep and had our kids quite happy. Our two youngest co-slept for a week after my husband returned, then our 2 year old transfered to the floor in a sleeping bag, then into his crib. His older sister transitioned easily into the room with our eldest. She saw us set up the bed and wanted to sleep in there.

Co-sleeping is an individual thing. You will know if it is right for you. I saw your delivery, you have good instincts, trust them. No matter what anyone else says, you are Mason’s mom and know what is best for him and what he needs.

I wish you well on your journey of motherhood! God grant you many years!

anonymous on

My son just turned 6 months old and we have been transitioning him from our bed to his crib over the past few weeks. Some nights are easier than others, but generally things are going well. I would not trade co-sleeping with him for anything. I feel like I know him really well. We made our bed as safe as possible (important!!) and early on he and I both were able to sleep better between all those nighttime breastfeeding sessions. However lately we haven’t been sleeping as well – actually waking each other up more than anything. He is at the point where he can theoretically sleep thru the night without feeding…esp since he has started on solids. So, in the interest of giving him as much quality sleep as possible we are now trying to get him to sleep in his crib. While I really miss having him near me at night, I do believe that this is the right decision at the right time for us. Parents have to decide what they feel is best for their family.

Mark on

We raised our son via the attachment parenting philosophy. He co-slept with us until he was 4 and a half. It was wonderful to be that connected with him. Now he has moved on to this own bed and is very happy and well adjusted. I recommend co-sleeping. It’s a gift to all members of the family.

KSmomX5 on

Co-sleep or don’t but PLEASE people educate yourself & get real facts about the issues. In countries where co-sleeping is the norm SIDS is almost unheard of- it is solo crib sleeping that increases the risk for SIDS. Just as parents need to take precautions when using a crib(no bumpers, stuffed animals etc), parents need to take precautions when co-sleeping. Parents that are in an altered state- drunk or taking medications-should not sleep with their baby. A sober mother rolling over on her baby is a unfounded fear. If you are interested in the scientific facts about shared sleep check out Dr. McKenna’s Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab at Notre Dame http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/

Brandy on

My son slept in bed with us for two years and then we transitioned him into his own bed and it was FLAWLESS on the first night. I wanted to punch all those people out there who said that we would never be able to get him out! Good thing I never listened to them – I would’ve missed out on all that precious snuggle time with my son. Do whatever makes you, your son and your husband happy :)

Something we did that I think made the transition to his bed easier is that we had him nap in his bed (which was a low to the ground twin bed in his room) starting when he was around 18 months, so by the time he was two and we transitioned him into that bed at night, he was already comfortable with it and it felt like home to him.

Keep up the awesome breast-feeding a co-sleeping! It is great to see a celebrity out there who is going the more natural route – a wonderful role model for other mamas!

melissa Caulfield on

I breastfed my son for 3 years. Like Mason, my son started in bassinet next to our bed, but he was such a huge baby that it was hard to lift him in the night, so he ended up in our bed. Yes, it was hard to get him out! We eventually bought a cot (which should tell you he was “older,” and he slept on the cot next to our bed. That was the transition to him being in his own room. He is a well-adjusted 18 year old now! I adored that closeness, him feeling safe and secure. He’s an only child. If you have multiple kids, it might be tough. You get so much flack about breastfeeding, which is a wonderful thing to do for your child, and co-sleeping. I say do what works for you and your child and tune out the naysayers.

Jamie on

I swore, before I became a mother, that I would never get into the ‘trap’ of helping my kids fall asleep, and certainly not co-sleeping.

A nurse at the hospital, after my first was born, blew that all out of the water by tucking my tiny newborn in with me when he temp was down a bit.

I was not sure that I wanted to bring this ‘habit’ home with us, but my hubbie did, and for a week (paternity leave) he slept, swaddled, up between our pillows (away from the blankets and comforter.

We had a co-sleeper, and used it a bit, but for the most part, he slept with us. Around 6 months, I started putting him down in his crib (in our room) at night, and then bringing him into our bed when he woke up. We kept up this pattern for the next two years, through moving into his own room at 18m.

Now, #2 has slept in his crib — maybe twice? He’s 20 months. He wakes a lot, and we just roll with it. We’ll be trying the ‘putting him down in his own room’ thing (with an open door to our room if he wakes) in a month or so.

The best advice you’ve gotten so far is to follow your heart, and to not let what *might* happen in two years affect your decisions.

Co-sleeping is not unsafe. What gave me nightmares was finding my baby cold and still in his crib, and sleeping close to him, being able to hear, feel and see his breathing throughout the night — that was real security.

emily on

Sure, it’s cool to have your infant, then your toddler, then your 9 year old sleep with you. Just as long as you don’t care about a healthy relationship with your spouse… I don’t even let my dog sleep between me and my spouse!

Anonymous on

May want to check the position of the buckle on the car seat. Should be positioned higher.

Sarah on

Co-sleeping is the best way to go! I think its hard to take advice from people who say they have never done it. I think its great that you had one idea about it and then did research about it. I agree with the gal that said you should trust or instinct. Babies like to feel secure and when you put them in a crib they dont get the same security as if they are with you. I found it to be a lot easier to wake up and just nurse or tend to the baby when they’re right there. The adjustment is hard regardless if you go to crib right away or later to a toddler bed or new room so dont believe that argument. You can’t spoil a baby with you love. Getting time with your husband or man can be done not just at bedtime ;)wink. I have had 2 crib sleepers and 2 co-sleepers. My vote is for co-sleeping. You will NEVER get this time back enjoy that baby every minute!

Dena on

I didn’t plan on co-sleeping with my 4 week old son, but that is the ONLY way we can get him to sleep at night. We bought the First Years Co-Sleeper bed for him, so I feel a little bit safer knowing we won’t roll over on him, but I say… every baby and every situation is different. Do what works for you.

Carrie on

It’s a CHEST clip, it should be at armpit level, not at the crotch!!!

Jenn on

Neither of my daughters have ever slept in our bed/bedroom unless we were on vacation or in a hotel, and then only if there was no other option. They’ve both slept soundly through the night since they were still quite young (3 wks for our older daughter, almost 4 months for younger), and we truly believe it is because it was their own room. It’s what’s worked for us and our family, and I am a big believer in separate beds/bedrooms.

Ultimately, though, it’s up to the individual family members to choose what is right for them. If it feels right and natural, go with it. If you feel it’s time to give it up, then it is. Just be consistent with your decision to avoid heartache and confusion on the part of your little one. If you feel it’s time to give it up, decide on the day and do it. No exceptions, no excuses. It might be difficult for all of you, but the little bit of difficulty (and sleeplessness) will be worth it in the end.

Best of luck!

Erin on

My 2 1/2 yr daughter sleeps with us. We have a king bed and she doesn’t really move that much so it has been for the best. Plus, she did not really sleep thru the night til she got all of her teeth around 2 yrs. Plus, I nurse her so to get the most sleep for everyone this sleep situation has worked the best. I just night weaned her about 2 months ago cause I was really tired and I just told her that everyone/thing sleeps when the moon is out and when the sun comes out she can nurse again. It took a few days but ultimately it has worked (knock on wood). It is really nice when we go away to not worry about the sleeping situation, she just sleeps with us. She does not really fuss about sleep and is always happy waking up. I will miss her whenever we transition to her own bed. I think co sleeping is a really nice way to connect especially after a rough day together. Best of luck with your parenting choices.

stacy on

Both of my children slept with us until they were weaned. I loved it, and so did they…it created such a bond :) Unlike the warning from someone else, my kids were not at all ‘clingy’, they are 12 and 16 now and are very independent, confident, loving, healthy kids!

There is no right or wrong…do what your heart tells you and what works best for you and your baby!

Jackie on

When we hear about babies who die from co-sleeping we are mainly hearing about babies whose parents were inebriated or ill – they were essentially passed out and unable to wake up to a child in danger. This point is always left out by public health when they urge us not to co-sleep. This is because in order to save the lives of those in this situation, they must make a blanket statement for everyone. It makes sense to do this but it scares responsible parents from doing what they feel is best for their child.
Coming from an anthropological background, I tend to look at what has been done by people all over the world for thousands and thousands of years: co-sleep. Its only been recently that we could even afford a room for every child. I think our emotional and mental development depends on it. They say that kids these days are 40% less empathetic than they were a couple of generations ago. Maybe this idea of early “independence” is more indifference than anything. We co-slept with our first (and currently with our second) and he has been perfectly fine, wonderful even – independent, confident and empathetic. When he was ready to go to his big boy bed, he did and we were so proud of him (2 1/2 yrs).

Diana on

I don’t usually make it a habit to give other people my opinions about child rearing but since you asked…

I personally think that kids, even very small babies, are much better off sleeping in their own rooms. Think of how much better you sleep when you are by yourself and not disturbed by every noise in the room. As much as I love my husband, I slept a lot better before he came along! Kids who sleep in their own rooms also learn how to soothe themselves back to sleep instead of relying on you to do it for them. I have many friends who say they haven’t gotten a good night of sleep since their kids were born. Your son is young now but imagine him still waking you up in the middle of the night 3 or 4 years from now. I have 3 kids and they were all sleeping though the night by about 4 months of age. They only wake us up in the middle of the night if they really need us and I firmly believe that it is because we gave them the chance to learn how to be good sleepers on their own.

Christy on

thank you for sharing this with all of us Kourtney – you are a brave mama! It was hard for me to tell my family that my baby was sleeping with me because people dont understand and are so judgemental. I also had friends who co-slept with their babies and before I had mine, i though they were nuts. Never in a million years would I do that! Well well well …my little girl wouldnt sleep more than 15-20 minutes unless i was holding her or she was right near me and when you havent slept in a week or 2, you dont care if they are sleeping on your head, never the less in your bed so that you can get rest. So that is how it started and after a week or so, it just felt right. I also got the Dr. Sears book, The Good Baby Sleep Book (i think) as a shower gift, not knowing it advocated co-sleeping, so that was a huge help and support to me when I didnt have much other. You are doing the right thing!! Listen, you are not going to be going off to college with Mason, having to sleep next to him to get him to sleep so even if he is still in your bed at 3 (like mine is) so what?? They are only young once so enjoy every single second, whether awake or asleep! thanks again for sharing this :)

Laura on

It doesn’t matter if we as parents enjoy something or if our kids seem to like it, if it is dangerous, doing it is irresponsible.

Within the past year numerous studies have come out about the dangers of co-sleeping and the American Academy of Pediatricians *strongly* advise against it.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/26/the-risks-of-sleeping-with-your-baby/

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/123/2/533

My 15-month-old would probably love eating hotdogs or popcorn or nuts or (whole) grapes but they known choking hazards so of course I won’t feed them to him.

Casandra on

I’m a mom of 3 little ladies with #4 on the way. We (hubby and I) have co-slept (and yes I breastfed) with all 3 of our girls.
They all moved out of our bed on their own, when they were ready. We had a twin mattress in our room for transition, and they were always welcome in between us if they needed to be. Now, at ages 6, 5 and 2 – none sleep in our bed. But they all sleep together! Actually we just bought them a full size with a trundle for their room as we found all 3 squeezed into a twin every morning!
I’m quite sure baby #4 will be sleeping with hubby and I for at least a year and half… and we both look forward to it :)

– and a side note on the “special time with partner” aspect.. with 3 kids running around and my hubby working partial night shifts… bed time is SLEEP time! lol. But obviously alone time is plentiful since I’m due with our 4th baby in less then 7 years!

Hani on

When it comes to motherhood I do whatever comes most natural to me. It was natural for me to sleep next to my babies at night…I felt comforted hearing them breathe and being right there when they needed me when they woke up. I think it gives babies security and gave me a peace of mind as a mother. I’m Persian and we strongly believe in bonding with our babies and keeping them close at all times. No cry it outs either. My kids are all grown now, happy, healthy and sweet and sleep in their own beds.

Good luck. :)
xoxo

Karen on

I didn’t mean to co-sleep with my baby girl but I was so tired she would never sleep longer than two hours the first 6 weeks. I would fall asleep with her on the breast. I would always wake up in the exact same position. On my side my arm cradling her. I think my maternal instinct just made it easy for me, she sleeps soundly all night long with me. I love spending this time with her. When I go back to work I know I will treasure this time, as I am a single mom now and want to spend as much time with her as possible. She does sleep in her crib for naps just not as long.

Anna on

A baby I know died this way. He fell between the wall and the bed and suffocated while the parent was asleep. I would play it safe and keep him in a crib.

Trisha on

Our baby is almost four months and she sleeps in her crib. My husband doesn’t want her in our bed because he does not have control when he is sleeping and I agree he is all over the place. Wouldn’t want him to roll on her by accident. Secondly, I don’t want to get her into a bad habit. She knows we have our bed and she has hers. She can stay with us for a while but when it us time to go in her crib she doesn’t cry, which she had begun doing until we broke her out of getting used to our bed.

TamIAm on

It’s controversial sure, but every parent does what they feel is right for them. If new parents tried to find the non-controversial way to raise a child, they’d be put in a padded cell before baby’s first birthday because every single method has its critics.

Our baby slept in a bassinet for the first three months and then we transitioned to a crib. She was already a good sleeper, and would go eight hours straight. At about four months, we cut out the 11 p.m. feeding we woke her for, and she immediately started going 12 hours. I don’t think I could co-sleep myself because I would sleep too lightly. I just rest better with her in her own room. In fact we stopped using a monitor for that reason. If she really gets going, my hubby or I always hear her and wake up, however all of the little (and sometimes) loud noises babies make in their sleep consistently woke us up.

That being said, up until a couple of months ago, I would nap with my little one on my chest during her final nap of the day. I never worried about her since she wasn’t a roller. That time was so precious and I’m so glad I had that with her because now she’s too big and won’t sleep unless on her own. I miss that time with her. They get big SO fast!

Jane on

While mother after mother after mother will tell you that that they co-slept with their children and nothing ever happened, and while that time may be fantastic bonding with your child and makes breastfeeding that much easier, please understand that every time you co-sleep with your child, you are playing russian roulette with your child’s life. Who you do not hear from are the mothers whose children died while co-sleeping. EVERY DAY in this country, babies die as a result of co-sleeping, whether from suffocation due to bedding, the mattress, rolling into the crevice btwn the mattress and the wall, being rolled over by a parent or another child, or other suffocation. I work in an urban city and as part of my job have to attend monthly child fatality review meetings. ON AVERAGE, at least 3 babies die just in my city, due to co-sleeping. Please be aware that this is not a judgment for those mothers that do or have co-slept. There have certainly been occasions where I co-slept with my daughter out of convenience or sheer exhaustion. However, everyone needs to know the risks that you take when you make that decision for your child.

Jenni on

I also started out with my daughter (now almost 4 months) in a bassinet by my bed. When she was having trouble sleeping, I would bring her in bed with me and she would sleep and nurse throughout the night. Around 1.5 months we put her Moses basket into her crib to get her used to sleeping in her own room. This helped a lot. When she got too big for the Moses basket, we put her in her crib with rolled up towels and she did really well only getting up once or twice to nurse. I noticed on the occasions when I brought her in with me to the bed after sleeping on her own that she actually woke up more during the night to nurse because she could smell me. She is now sleeping in her crib through the night. Although I loved having her to cuddle up to and I loved listening to her breathe, we both get a better night’s sleep in our own beds. It’s a personal choice though.

Pam on

I have co-slept with both of my boys. I was breastfeeding and my boys were terrible sleepers. Co-sleeping isn’t for everyone. If I was a very heavy sleeper and moved around a lot I wouldn’t cosleep.
And I know someone else has mentioned it but Mason’s chest clip needs to be at his chest, not his crotch.
*Just in case Kourtney is actually looking at the comments. ;)

JJ on

Both of my children co-slept with me and both now sleep in their own rooms, in their own beds (age 9 and 3). Neither has ever had a problem sleeping or trouble adjusting to new sleeping arrangements. They both slept in the bed for about 2 years. There was maybe 1-2 weeks of adjustment, but nothing more. I believe this is a parental right.

kimberley on

when my sons came home both co-slept until about three. who am i kidding, the youngest is 8 and still arrives in bed after a bad dream. I too loved the special time we had falling asleep together, and the chats that come with that when the start talking, or should that be when they never stop talking.

Lola on

My boyfriend’s cousin actually rolled too close to her baby while they co-slept and he suffocated. I have a 6 month old myself and she never sleeps in our bed. SIDS is still my #1 fear since she’s still in that age gap of 0-12 months and co-sleeping definately doesn’t help. That way she can be independent and know that HER bed is where she sleeps, not mommy and daddy’s bed.

AB on

7 y/o, 5 y/o and 7 mo-old, co-sleepers all. Older kiddos transitioned easily and on their own around 2-3 years old. I wouldn’t trade a moment of our experience for anything, it’s worked wonderfully for us.

I keep seeing the comment come up that folks are putting their kids in cribs so they can have “time” with their spouse. Come on! Have some fun! If you’re only having sex in a bed, you’re missing all the other rooms in the house. ;)

Elisabeth on

Just as a safety precaution, I would use a moses basket and place it in the middle of the bed.

Wendy bellissimo used that method and once she wanted her girls to start sleeping in their cribs she got them used to it by putting them to sleep in their MBs and once they were sound asleep she’d move them to their cribs. Apparently her girls ask for their beds when their tired now and are good little sleepers.

Maureen on

Kourtney,

Don’t let anybody tell you this is wrong. Cribs can be very dangerous places, hence the name “crib death.” The fact that most people sleep with their babies is one of the best kept secrets in our nation. In many, many countries it is accepted and considered the norm.

We are the only mammals on the earth who think our babies should be able to survive separately from their mamas after birth and during infancy and toddlerhood!

I am a Mom of three. We did some degree of co-sleeping with each of them. With my third, we just slept with her. It was such a great experience. I felt total peace with her next to me. I breast fed too for a year. All three of them. When our daughter was about three she was still allowed to be in her room but on the floor on a futon. By age five or so she really was totally fine in her own room. Now, she’s 15.5 and we still “cuddle” sometimes! It’s totally appropriate and I treasure every minute of our closeness. It’s not creepy, it’s not weird. It’s natural and it’s wonderful.

I think you are a fantastic Mother. Keep up the good work. You won’t be sorry for the time, energy, and love you are giving Mason.

Celisse on

Kourtney,
I completely agree with the way that you’ve been doing things! I’m a 26 year old mom with a 3 y/o girl & a 1 1/2 y/o boy. My son, Brody, slept in bed with me for the first 9-10 months, & then on & off up until a year. My mom goes crazy over it & had a tendency to openly express the fact that I was “trying to put my child in danger”(??). One night I was staying over after I had my daughter & she walked in while she was in bed with me, freaked out on me & literally ran out of the room WITH my daughter! However, I think it’s fine as long as you’re making sure its a safe situation, which it sounds like you’ve been doing anyways. Just make sure to wean him off of it, because the older they get, the more attached, & Brody would get really pissed off when I put him in his crib, but you need to be firm & let them realize gradually that that’s where they need to be sleeping. Even if he cries & throws a fit, don’t give into it. Kids are smart, and when they become attached like that, they tend to think that throwing fits will allow them to get what they want & that can lead to an overly spoiled child. You don’t want to end up with a 5 y/o still sleeping in bed with you, you know?

Hope that helped some. Good luck,
Celisse

P.S.
Your son looks exactly like your brother & pics I’ve seen of your dad. It must great to feel like you have a part of him with you like that, seeing as how you lost your dad early on.

P.P.S
My son also enjoys sleeping in his car seat during trips. :)

Angelika on

I was SO anti-cosleeping when I was pregnant. I thought for sure my son would sleep in his crib from day one. Um – then guess what?!?!?! I had my son, and he didn’t sleep AT.ALL at night (or really during the day either) for 3 days. And the only time he would sleep was on my chest. So that’s what we did. Every mom has to do what is right for both themselves and the baby. And my son is 3 now and we didn’t have a hard transition at all with putting him in his own crib…and he really is the most stubborn kid on the planet. :)

Trinity on

FGS, do what feels right and forget what the “experts” say. All three of my children have slept in my bed and then their daddy moves them to their beds. My little guy is still nursing; so it just makes sense. All three start out in my bed when they go to sleep and end-up in their own beds. ;) It works for us and they get that bonding time. I don’t think my 14 month-old could just go to sleep without being held and nursed (although at day care, he is rocked to sleep and has no problem sleeping in a crib).

Times have changed. My Mother-in-law totally frowns on the family bed, but the heck with her. It feels right for us and our kids are well adjusted, loving children. I firmly believe it’s because they have so much cuddle time with mommy and daddy. :)

amandamay on

jane – many many more babies die every year in CRIBS than die from co-sleeping. does that mean you are playing “russian roulette” by putting your baby in a crib? and it’s been established that most co-sleeping deaths are from parents who were intoxicated/on medication/drugs or were extremely heavy sleepers (all of which are big no nos in co-sleeping) the truth is, co-sleeping is statistically safer than crib sleeping (you just don’t hear about all the sids crib deaths on the news- not as juicy apparently). but either one is a choice. please stop all of the fear mongering.

Sussie on

I have 4 kids and they all slept in the bed with me and my husband and still my 4 year old sleeps with me, I don’t think it’s a bad idea. It’s a bonding process when they get older it all changes. Don’t worry what others say you just go by your gut feeling your a new mom and your doing a great job day by day and enjoy this time they grow up fast believe me.

Alexandra on

Personally I couldnt do it. I’m too afraid that I would hurt my daughter. She’s 6 months old now and I just moved her into her own crib about a month ago. A lot of people were telling me that she was outgrowing her cradle and that it was time for me to move her. I just finally got the strength to do it. I do however check on her about fifty times a night just to make sure she’s alright. You have to do what’s right for you and you have to be REALLY careful when it comes to co-sleeping. Good luck! I know how you feel about letting them move to their own room.

Renee G.G. on

I think it’s great that you are co-sleeping. However, you really shouldn’t have Mason sleeping in his carseat unless you are driving with him in the car. More and more studies are coming out about how dangerous this can be because of the way the neck is scrunched down onto the baby’s chest. It doesn’t give them the room they need to breath. Also, please use the carseat “chest” clip properly. The clip should be at about armpit level. I really hope this isn’t the way you have him with you in the car. Regardless, you shouldn’t have a picture that shows him incorrectly buckled in. You have too many readers that look up to you and look to you for parenting advice. I’m saying all of this as a friendly FYI. GL.

shirl on

Kourtney, you are a great mom. All I want to tell you is that you are a great mom. But I just have to share with you what I have learned in my past 20 years of experience with infants and toddlers. CONSTINENCY! Children thrive when they know what is happening next. So if you choose to cobed with them that is what will they expect. It is really more your need than theirs. If you encourage them to sleep on their own life could be so much easier for you. I watch my niece and nephew 4 days a week in the summer and they are 2 & 4, they go down for nap so easy for me, and that is because they know I am consistent. All I’m saying is consistency is the key.

Melissa on

I kept my son (also named Mason) in the bed with me until he started crawling at about 6 months old. He was getting to the point where he would get up at night and try to crawl around the bed half-sleeping. After he took a tumble off the bed one day, I decided he needed a safer spot for both of our sakes! He transitioned really well to the crib – I bought a stationary-side crib which was nice and low to the ground (easy for us short people to lean in and place the baby in), and I started out by pushing it right up against my side of the bed so that he felt like he was still sleeping close to me. I could still reach over and pat him if he needed it, and he seemed just as content, if not more, than when he slept in bed with me. He’s 17 months old now and is a great sleeper!

Joe on

Our son was a co-sleeper until he was 2 1/2.
Once we set up his room with a twin bed and a
Lower bedframe (thank you IKEA) he really took
on the responsibility of having his own bed and
room.

Trust your gut Kourt!

Xx

DrMomma on

We sleep share for all the beneficial reasons for mom and baby – not to mention it makes life (and breastfeeding success) much easier. :)

There are ample research articles, resources, books, experiences, and links listed on this Healthy Infant Sleep page: http://www.drmomma.org/2009/06/truth-about-co-sleeping-how-stats.html

Cheers to you for following your gentle mothering instincts!

Melissa on

I have now shared sleep with 3 kids. My 2 youngest are still in bed with me and I love it. They are young for such a short amount of time that I want to savor this for as long as I can! My oldest child slept with me from day 1 and she is now a teenager that sleeps in her own bed, in her own room. Occasionally she comes back to my bed, but it’s fine with me. Every chance I get to snuggle with my kids, I take it. They’ll be grown up and gone before you know it!

Cayden's Momma on

My son is almost three and my husband and I did co-sleep with him. About two months ago, we decided that it was time for him to go to his big boy bed to foster more independence in him and he’s done very well. At first he would only sleep an hour or two in his bed then come to ours, but now if he gets up in the night and cuddles in bed with me, when he’s done, he goes and gets in his bed. I love having my hubby to myself now, and visa versa, but I still miss cuddling with my little man and I wouldn’t have changed anything. It was a wonderful bonding experience as well as a great nursing help.

RM on

I remember hearing a child speak about how when he needed comfort he would wake up and his parents would be right there but as he got older, he didn’t need that kind of comfort anymore so he stopped looking for it. It was that simple, in the eyes of a child.

I get nice cuddles all night from my partner so why shouldn’t the youngest of the house get cuddles, too? You’ll probably notice that babies have as much of a personality as adults and some adults want to be alone while some want constant love. Nurturing a personality is one of the greatest privilages of life. Take advantage of it now because they aren’t so little forever.

Loni on

It is all on how u feel when he sleeps with u and Scott. When my first child was born i wanted to spend every moment with her so I let her sleep in the bed with me and felt so at ease that she was next to me and that i can feel her little heartbeat and hear her breathe it made me feel like nothing would happen to her and i can make her feel safe. i eased up alittle with my son he sleeps in his crib but his crib is in my room. Sweetie just go with your heart and everything will be just fine. you can’t go wrong with your heart.

Farrah on

Glad to see a celeb leaning towards AP. Cosleep with your son as long as you’re both comfortable. We’ve recently tried to move out 10 month old out, but she’s not ready. I’m pregnant with number three and we’ll co-sleep until we’re ALL ready to be done. Our oldest (age 3) transitioned to his own bed just fine.

Sephia on

I co-sleep exclusively for the first 6 months, but then after that we try to phase it out. I really only co-sleep because I breastfeed and it’s so much easier to just roll over and pop a boob in the baby’s mouth and go back to sleep.

I had one son who co-slept for the first year and it was VERY difficult to transition him to a regular bed. (Ironically his name is Mason too, BTW)

I like my bed space and I sleep better without a baby/toddler in it. But if it works for others I say go for it. I just prefer to “wean” my children from my bed and into their own (which is usually in my bedroom still, LOL)!

Chantell on

Hi Kourt. Honestly I wouldnt stress too much about it. With my first child, we were super paranoid about everything and so focussed on doing the “right” thing that we never simply sat back and enjoyed our baby. Now with our son (born the same weekend as Mason!), we are alot more flexible and go with the flow….he is a happy baby, content and over all our family is settled and happy. They are only small for such a short time…just enjoy it and do whatever makes you happy :)

tobeornottobe on

What’s best is what works for YOUR FAMILY! 1 rule does not apply to all.

Lorus on

I just wanted to add that for rear facing seats the harness needs to be below the shoulders. Forward facing the harness needs to be above. Common mistakes which can lead to serious injuries.

My first fell asleep in the car within 10 minutes pretty much anywhere we’d drive. She loved motion! She was really high needs and was a very wired baby. She had trouble “shutting off” in order to go to sleep. She napped in the swing most of the time (it was pretty reclined) and we slowly transitioned her out when she was around 12 months. Once she hit 18 months old she became a pretty good napper.
My second child was also very alert and again didn’t “shut off”. I remember many days when she was around 3 months old where it would be 4pm and she had only napped for 10 minutes three times since waking up at 7:30am! She didn’t care for the swing and rarely slept in the car as well. The only place she liked to nap was cuddled up under my breast after nursing to sleep. She just liked the warmth, smell, and touch of her Mama. She started napping better as a toddler as well (around 13 months old).
Any habit can be broken but it just takes persistence and consistency. Motherhood can be so difficult so I more along follow the thought of whatever works right now is best as things will always change down the road. Follow your instincts. :)

prisca on

I think the biggest worry isn’t can he sleep alone later, its will you roll over on him in the middle of the night…

angelica on

I’m finding all the ignorance extremely funny. Anecdotes are not facts and there have been study after study showing co-sleeping – when done right – lowers the risk.of sids. I challenge anyone to find a case of a baby dying from.co-sleeping with parents that were not intoxicated, didn’t usually sleep with their baby, or were very heavy sleepers which are guidelines of when NOT to co-sleep. Do your homework people – just because you heard your co-workers best friends cousins baby died in bed doesn’t mean you know the whole story about the parent and if they had safe sleep arrangement.

Wendy on

First, I think it’s wonderful that you are speaking out about co-sleeping. I have 3 kids, the youngest being born at 32 weeks. All 3 have slept with us, even (and especially) the baby. It makes life so much easier, I don’t really have to wake up for nightfeedings, and looove the extra snuggles! I did have some trouble transititioning the older 2 to a bed of thier own when the time came, but it was more on my end than thiers! Good luck with everything!

stacey on

My older daughter slept in my bed until about 12 months and then did half in her bed and half in mine. As time went on and she started sleeping longer there was more time in her bed than in mine. Around 2.5 she was sleeping through the night in her own bed (in our room — a twin bed). At 3 we moved her bed into her own room and she sleeps soundly there every night! We followed her lead and made sure she was comfortable with the transitions. Always do what feels right to YOU and not what the books or “experts” say!

Shayla on

Cosleeping is a very normal and natural way to parent. I am proud of you for following your mommy instincts! As a mother of five children, all who slept with me until they were ready to leave (ranged from 18 months to 3 years old), I can assure you moving them to their own bed isn’t difficult later on. I applaud you for listen to your mommy instincts, more people need to. Lucky Mason!

angie on

regarding co-sleeping, there is no best answer. It works great for some families, and not so great for others. If it works for this family, no one has the right to say “sleeping, ur doing it wrong.”

That said, we co-slept, I got great sleep in the early days of infancy. Both my daughters transitioned to their own beds perfectly fine.

Regarding private mom/dad time: us co-sleepers have found that we are very creative when we want to be intimate! It doesn’t always have to be in bed or at bedtime!

Elizabeth on

There have recently been numerous studies about the benefits of co-sleeping/bed sharing. Sure it can be unsafe if done improperly- but so can the millions of cribs that were just recalled.

I am thrilled that Kourtney is following her instincts to create a loving environment and strong relationship with her son.

LHM on

We followed our daughter’s sleep cues. She slept with us the first two months, in the co-sleeper for the next two months, and then back with us until she was about 10/11 months. When she was 16 months old, she decided to go night-night in her room and she’s been there ever since. If she wakes up early and needs us, she’ll come in. If she wakes up early and doesn’t need us, she’ll stay in her room and talk/read herself back to sleep. And she’s 21 months now and consistently does 12-hours nights. And that’s without any sleep training of any sort and WITH nursing to sleep at night (3-15 minutes tops of nursing, unless she’s not feeling well).

She’s as independent as they come and when she was ready to sleep on her own, she did.

Kudos to you for following your son’s sleep cues! (just make sure to put his seatbelt clip up by his shoulders when he’s in the car ;) )

Marisa on

My daughter is 16 months old and has been sleeping with us from day one! The misinformation people fed me about co-sleeping was absolutely ridiculous. People tried getting me to follow the “Babywise” method (makes me want to burn these books just for saying the word), which promotes detachment, insecurity and a lack of confidence, paving the way for an unhealthy development and future. People would ask me if I worried about rolling over on the baby, or being able to get her our of the bed when she’s older. I have found both to be absurd. Co-sleeping is not safe for everyone–women who are on medication or obese should not co-sleep. I have heard true horror stories involving both of these issues. But, healthy mothers SHOULD co-sleep. It encourages night time breastfeeding, confidence, attachment (love), and a sense of security. As for never being able to get Mason out of the bed–do not listen to these absurdities! Because co-sleeping is allowing him to feel confident and secure, soon too will come a feeling of independence. The chances are greater that he will decide to sleep on his own without having to be coerced, than having to make a huge production out of the matter, fighting him to sleep in his own bed. My advice is to not push him into anything–sleeping, weaning, potty-training. Babies are really smart–they will do things when they are ready. Forcing them will only instill feelings of resentment, anger and fear. You are doing a great thing for Mason, and you are setting a great example for American mothers, who are in the most need of a good role model. Thank You and keep up the great work!

Liz on

Our son slept with us in our bed every night until just after he turned two. We bought a full sized bed for him and set it up in his room intending that he would take naps there. From the very first night it was set up he asked to sleep there and has continued to sleep there the entire night. He would call out to me in the middle of the night and I would go into him and inevitably fall asleep in his bed with him. Between two and a half and three and a half he has increased the time between when he goes to bed and when he calls for me gradually and completely on his own. He now sleeps from his incredibly early bedtime of 5:30pm until 4 or 5am on his own. After he calls me in he usually sleeps for another hour or two. I am really proud of all of us for reaching this point without any struggle. I am so glad to have had all of that sleep time together and I am confident that it made us closer as a family. My husband said after he was in our bed for a few days that it seemed so natural because, “…we don’t stop being a family at night.” So, that was my wordy way of saying if your heart tells you to bring that baby to bed follow it…he will eventually sleep on his own in his own bed.

angie on

if you have a convertible crib you can try converting it to the day bed and parking it next to your bed, almost like a co-sleeper. you can buy some loading straps to “attach” it to the bed so it doesn’t move away. move the mason”s mattress towards you and fill the gap with the crib bumper or a blanket or such. now he’ll still be sleeping next to you but will also have the freedom of being in the crib and you will still have your bed space. my little one is 14 months and she’ll fall asleep next to me and then in the middle of the night she’ll move herself into the crib, its cute :-) best of luck!

Lisa on

I coslept with my daughter and plan to with my next baby (I’m pregnant now). I’m actually sad that we won’t all fit in our bed safely and comfortably or I’d cosleep with both children in our bed. We’re working on transitioning my daughter out of our bed right now into a big girl bed (she’s 2). I think if cosleeping works for you, then go for it. It’s such a wonderful experience, and much, much easier for breastfeeding during the night.

Nicole on

I did the same thing with my son, and I understand. It is a special bonding time, and babies have less of a SIDS risk if they sleep with their parents.

Unfortunately, this week, someone rolled over their baby and smothered it in my town, the poor baby died a few days later. All an accident by parents who loved their baby. . I’d just urge that neither of you ever drink alcohol or take medication that could cause you to sleep deeper.

http://www.gazette.com/articles/old-101001-week-springs.html

Kim Scott on

I noticed that a lot of the negative comments came frompeople who said things like “I know other families that cosleep and they have problems …”
My first child didn’t cosleep becausei was so afraid I would roll on her. I had read too many books on traditional parenting. So, she often slept on my chest in a recliner during the first 8 weeks, then moved to her crib. When I had my second child, I was able to relax and listen more to my own maternal instincts. She coslept with us for 18 months and then she started sleeping inherent own room, often still joining us in the middle if the night.
The bottom line is that both my girls are healthy, smart and confident. I did what I thought was best with the information I had at the time.
Kourtney, keep following your instincts, and thanks for sharing your story.

momma of 4 on

Kourtney, You have tons of women who are supporting you! Thank you for sharing your life as a mom with us.

I have co-slept with all 4 of my kids (my 8 month old is currently still in our bed) Although “weaning” them from the bed takes effort it really isn’t that hard. Each child was weaned off of co-sleeping when a new baby arrived. They were always allowed to come sleep on our floor if they really needed us. Right now my 3 older kids share a room, not because they need to but because they want to! They love having people nearby.

Keep up the great work. Do what *YOU* feel is best as a parent.

Jane Lewis on

I have a 14 mo old. I was hesitant about co-sleeping, too, but I did a part-time co-sleeping arrangement from the age of a few weeks through about 6 months and loved it! He would nap with me during the afternoons in my bed and sometimes at night. The snuggling together is so wonderful. That is such precious time to me – time I will never get back so it is a gift. He sleeps in his crib now as growing bodies get pretty squirmy but we still snuggle in the mornings in my bed after he wakes up in his crib. Also cosleeping is great for nursing – so easy! We’re one of the few countries that separate a child from his mother for sleeping. However, crib sleeping is probably the safest, especially as they get to rolling around. He did fall off of the bed once (not a far fall, but still). But overall, I loved our co-sleeping time together and would do it again.

Susie on

What ever sleeping situation allows everyone to get the most sleep they can is the right one, as long as everyone’s safe! Just remember not to let anyone sleep next to Mason if they’ve been drinking.

sandra on

None of my kids ever slept in bed with me, I had many friends who allowed their children to sleep with them, as much as they loved it, it became a problem when they got older, they were attatched and still sleeping in their parents bed as toddlers. My kids have all slept in a crib but I always enjoyed the morning snuggles. You dont have much privacy when you have children and knowing my kids had their own bed made me feel good just because all parents need “me time”. After a long day nothing feels better than crash diving into your bed knowing your kids are safe and its time to relax. Every mother is defferant and has differant opinions and views in the end as long as child and parent are happy thats what matters the most. Enjoy your adventure!

Kelly on

My son is 14 months old now, and he slept with me until he was about 9 months old. I had him in bed with me every night until then and his dad finally told me it’s time for him to sleep in his crib. I was really upset at first because I jsut loved knowing my son was right beside me all night! And you are completely right about the bonding experiance.My son did not have a problem with moving into his crib. He took regular naps in his crib so it wasn’t too hard on him. Now, he is 14 months old and has been sleeping in a toddler bed for about 2 months. Some people say it is too soon for him to be in a toddler bed, but you jsut know what is right and when. I would just follow your motherly instincts =]

Daniel P. on

I find it very interesting that all the supporters of co-sleeping all mention how much “they” love it. Yet they never mention how much their husband loves it. That is because men HATE IT! As a man I will tell you, it is NOT a fun, nurturing experience. My first wife had both kids in the bed till they were 5! I ended up sleeping on the couch most night because I could not sleep with wiggleworms in the bed! We did not get any alone time it was always the kids time. I lost the relationship with my wife because she was so focused on the kids, I didn’t matter anymore! I have a huge suggestion, why not put the needs of your husband into the mix, and put the kids in their own bed. Your relationship will thank you!!

Not to mention real studies done by actual DR’s and not quacks show that co-sleeping is dangerous and can be deadly!

I firmly believe women in this country are co-sleeping to fulfill their own needs, and not their children’s. It is selfish to risk your child’s life and your relationship by putting your own needs first.

Think about it!

Jessica on

I’ve co-slept with all my kids. My DD for about 6 months and my boys are still in the bed with us off and on. One is 6 1/2 and the other is 4. I LOVE it!!! Co-sleeping has been proven benificial to children if done in a safe way. I know the bonding I and my husband have with our children due to co-sleeping is something we will never forget.

I say to each their own and don’t judge others. We are all just doing what we feel is best for our children. How can you judge someone for that?!?!

Ella on

My son sleeps with us. I wouldn’t trade these moments that I have had the last 20 months for anything. One day he will want his space, and I will have these memories of sleep sharing.
I love that when he is sick I can feel his breath and feel him sleep.
Like the song “you’re gonna miss this” and “It wont be like this for long” I choose to err on the side of closeness. Besides I got married to sleep with someone- I wouldn’t want to sleep alone- why make my poor frightened child sleep alone..
Sleep sharing is so wonderful KUDOS to you!!!

jd on

While I think it’s fantastic that you’re able to bond with your son in this way, the whole idea just scares me. Quite honestly, I’ve heard one too many stories where an infant has suffocated in a situation like this. The point is, if something where to go wrong, you can’t take it back, and though it’s probably not likely, for the safety of your son, I’d stray from doing this on a regular basis.

Mary on

You as the mother need to decide whats best for you and your family. Cosleeping has been proven to be a safe alternative to crib sleeping and family bed sharing is common all throughout the world. So the decision for you to cosleep is not a bad one. If you need to put your baby in a crib, then that is also a good decision. Again you as the mom have to follow your instincts. Us Americans have lost that motherly instinct to do what is right for our families and I pray it comes back.

As for those that say cosleeping is so dangerous. Have you done your research enough? If you had, you would see that the rate of infant deaths in a crib are equal (if not slightly more) than a cosleeping infant. The fact is, the parents are taken out of the equation but there is now a crib to throw in. Cribs are mass recalled ALL THE TIME because of failures causing injuries and deaths. Majority of the time, cribs are in another room with a baby monitor but if your baby stops breathing, you will not hear that on the monitor. Again my point is… you cant point a finger at one method and deem it dangerous without looking at both sides. Moms need to learn to make INFORMED decisions… not blindly follow a crowd.

Jennifer on

My husband and I co-sleep with our 11 month old and it’s the best arrangement for us. We’re in it for the long haul, until she’s 3 or 4. The easiest way to transition them to their own bed is to have a sibling bed where they sleep with their brothers and/or sisters instead of with mom and dad.

Diane on

I have a 3-month old daughter who sleeps through the night in her crib (from about 9pm-6am) every single night. I used the Babywise book and it saved my life. She’s happy, independent, and confident already, as well as easily cared for. Plus, frankly, mommy and daddy’s relationship comes first, including a healthy sex life and good solid sleeping. No co-sleeping!

Amy on

Our little Mason slept in the bed with us until he was 2 months old. I loved it too! Now that I’m back at work, we have family nap time on Saturdays and Sundays!

tawny on

co-sleeping is the best! if you ever want to know the real benefits go to askdrsears.com and he is pro co-sleeping and breastfeeding! my son is a year and has never slept in a crib or bassinet and i am still breastfeeding. we all sleep so much better and this time is so short they have their whole lives to sleep alone.

Leah Bunger on

Do what’s best for you and your child!

Sarah on

My son slept with me from the day he was born until the age of 3. It was the most wonderful feeling as he hugged me so tight each night we went to sleep and as he got older he would say hold me tight mama….I cherish those words. Although, when he turned 3, we felt it was time for him to sleep in his “Big Boy Bed”. It proved to be a little difficult getting him to sleep there, (and a bit heartbreaking I must say). It started with him sleeping there until about 3am. But we started reading bed time books to him and bought a fun night light and Ta Dah! He now sleeps in his bed with no problems.

It is possible to enjoying your sleep time with your son. Just make sure that you and Scott remain on the same page about it. It can eventually lead to relationship problems if it one changes their mind about it as well.

Corie on

All I have to say is that my daughter will be 7 in August and I can’t get her to sleep in her own bed to save my life! It’s to the point now that I don’t get any rest at night because she kicks me and flops all over the bed constantly. I’m a single parent, so it’s just the 2 of us in bed. I loved it when she was little, but now I want my bed back!

Sydney on

Hi Kourtney,
Mason is sooo adorable! He looks so precious when he is sleeping.You are very lucky!!Kourtney just wanted to tell ya that you are my favorite Kardashian sister:). I watch “keeping up with the Kardashians” all the time;also I watch”Kourtney and Khloe take Miami”.Their both good shows! good luck Kourtney:)!BIG blessings to you,Scott,and Little Mason!
XOXO:)

mama2ian on

I feel bad looking at that picture…what improper use of that car seat :( In an accident that baby would fly out of that seat, the chest clip needs to be up at his arm pits…

Lindsey on

Hi Kourtney,
My baby Isabelle is the same age as Mason,born 20 Dec 09. Like you I tried her in her crib beside our bed at night but over time found that once she was beside me in the bed she slept all through the night doing us both the world of good. My boyfriend was forever telling me to put her back into her crib as she would get too use to it but i felt lost without her beside me. Now that she is bigger and moving alot more I have recently put her into a cot beside us,she has more freedom to move and stretch out and most impostantly she loves it.
Im with you on all your questioning,i doubt it will ever go away…its call parenting!! We are forever doubting ourselves,all new mothers have different techniques,there is no right or wrong its 100% what works best for you and baby.
Enjoy Mason,live in the moment with him as im sure you know time goes by too quickly with them.
Kindest regards
Lindsey

ML on

I was rigid and didn’t let my firstborn sleep with us because of the “separation” issues. He grew up insecure and had a hard time when he was young when I took him to daycare. I let my youngest sleep with us. He is very secure in himself with a lot less anxiety. Basically I’m saying that I have 2 examples of the opposite of what “they” say will happen. Do what makes him sleep the happiest. Take your queue from his happiness. When he starts pushing you away to gain some independence, you’ll know to let go a bit. Never turn away a hug or cuddle, even if it is t 3 in the morning. Pay attention to his needs over yours and you will know the right thing to do.

Lola on

I used to have my baby sleep in the bed with us when she was a newborn but now at 7 months old she sleeps in her crib, in her room and ultimately she gets a better sleep and mommy and daddy get a better sleep as well, but I think everyone should follow their own insticts. Keep up the amazing blog Kourtney!

ebeemama on

i love it. :) :) way to go girl! and TRUST ME he wont be sleeping in your bed when he goes to college. just put into perspective the short short time he will want and need this and you will realize that even if its 2 or 3 years, its worth it in the long run.
way to go!!!

kathy on

All 3 of my now young adults slept with me and each other until one would decide it was just too crowded or they needed to strech out more. Do whats right for your family, forget what people tell you you should or should not do. Isnt being a Mom the best!

Ann on

I’m not currently a mother. I am trying to figure out how anyone has any kind of intimacy with their spouse if there is a kid in-between you. Also, how many of your spouses are excited to have a kid in the bed? Are they just humoring you? I’m just curious.

Also, how can you sleep very comfortabley? I let my two dogs sleep in the bed with me awhile because I was working so many hours and wasn’t getting to be around them much & they were puppies who didn’t want to be alone. One day it occurred to me that I often woke up slightly sore from contorting around them. I did a trial run of having them out of the bed and I got so much better sleep and felt so much better. I really cannot do a very good job at work if I am so tired.

Amy on

I’ve bedshared with all three of my children, my youngest is still in our bed right now. It’s not harder to get them to sleep in their own bed because they feel more secure because you coslept. Every mammal on earth sleeps next to its young. And really for the majority of our lives we don’t sleep alone. I truly believe we were meant to sleep close to our babies. If there are circumstances that make it unsafe to have them in bed with you there are other ways to sleep close. Cosleeper beds and sidecarring a crib for example.

Jennifer on

Wow Kourtney! Do you actually read ALL these messages? There is a TON this week. You know, before Mason was born I would have never taken you for the co-sleeping, exclusive nursing type of mama. Of course i dont know you personally, only from what I have watched on the shows, but it’s amazing to see how much that little guy has transformed you! Looks and sounds like you are doing a fantastic job in your new role as Mama.

Now on the co-sleeping subject, I think it is a personal decision. But from reading the mini-study that Dr. Sears did, there are several great benefits to co-sleeping. I co-slept with my son until he was 6 months old, then transitioned him easliy into his crib. I was still nursing him, so he would always end up in bed with us by morning until I stopped nursing. My daughter on the other hand has not been so easy to transition into her own bed. She is 15 months old, still nursing, and I would love to continue sleeping with her, but baby number 3 is on the way and our bed is just not big enough for the four of us. I think I might try that sidecar trick that another poster was mentioning though.

Melissa on

Both my kids slept with me up until around age two, and transitioned beautifully into their own beds. Easy peasey :) I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

Nate, Seb, Miko & Gabe's Mom on

I’ve coslept with three of my children, and haven’t had problems weaning off any of my kids into their own beds. With my eldest son Nate, he was into his own cot by 13 months. Both my husband and I felt much more comfortable knowing that baby was safe and sound with us; plus, everyone got a better nights sleep overall. With our second son, Seb, he went straight into the cot. We tried co-sleeping, but he didn’t agree with it and slept in a bassinette from about three days old. Then, with our twins, both are still sleeping from us at 3 months old.

What I’m basically trying to say is that all kids are different and all experiences are different. Personally, I felt that it was the safest thing in the world. Even with two wrigglers in the bed, DH and I both know the boundaries and where to sleep, so I feel incredibly comfortable with the kids in the bed.

Angela on

“You know, before Mason was born I would have never taken you for the co-sleeping, exclusive nursing type of mama. Of course i dont know you personally, only from what I have watched on the shows, but it’s amazing to see how much that little guy has transformed you! Looks and sounds like you are doing a fantastic job in your new role as Mama.”

Jennifer said it better than I could :) But I agree with that.
As for us, my son is 8 months old now and we did co sleep when he was younger. He used to nurse every two hours so it was so much easier to just roll over and nurse and roll back over once he was done. But once he started crawling at about 6 months old, I had to transition him to his crib. It is in our room, but for his safety he needed to not be in bed with me. And now, he can’t sleep in bed with me… Like, he is physically unable to fall asleep in my bed now. All babies are different though, just do what works best for YOU and YOUR SON and to heck with every one else :)

Yolanda on

If you ever burried a baby like I did and if you ever listened to a mother’s cries because she woke up to her baby lifeless in bed with her you would understand. We use car seats for safety we have to think of the crib in the same way, what does everyone have against cribs? I wish I could have my son back to hold instead I have a life of guilt. It can happen and it does every day….

Carole on

I have a 5 year old son. When he was born, he slept in the bassinette till he outgrew that, then he moved to his crib. Every night btw 12 and 1, he would wake up and I would spend forever trying to get him back asleep. I was determined not to take him to bed with me because I watched my 9 year old niece still have to sleep with her mom, be rocked to sleep and absolutely freak out if someone suggested she sleep in her bed and keep her mom up half the night. Well after months of falling asleep on the way to work, I finally caved and took him to bed with me. So every night, he’d wake up in his crib at midnight and go back to bed with me. He was a horrible bed partner so I still wasn’t sleeping. I finally had to just let him lay in his crib and cry and after 2 night of crying himself back to sleep, he started sleeping through the night. He was almost a year at this point. Then his daddy went to night shift and I let him start sharing the bed with me again. It was easier and made me feel safer. But when his daddy was home on his off nights, we had no alone time so we had to battle him back to his bed. But now at 5 years old, we have a good arrangement. He sleeps with me on nights his daddy works and knows if he’s at home, then he (our son) has to go to his own bed. He never tries to get in our bed and sleeps all through the night. So I guess what I’m saying is my son acted different at different ages and what’s right for one family isn’t for another famly. Follow your heart. And as my mom said once, they’re only little once. One day we’ll be clinging to them, wondering how they got to be grown. Enjoy him now.

Blanka on

@amandamay

I agree 100% we should go back to all things NATURAL ! Nature rules and nothing man made will ever come close.

I bought my 24months old a double bed so mommy can snuggle with him or he can snuggle with mommy whenever he wants !
The time in our children’s lives when they need us so much is so short, before you know they will be asking you to leave them a corner away from their school so they can arrive without mommy so…

ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS !

stefanie on

co-sleeping is great! it enhances bond btw mommy n baby! it gives baby more access to milk, and best of all DECREASES SIDS! :) i cosleep w/my son, not in a hurry to get him to sleep all by himself. its lonely in the cage- ahem -crib. eventually, all kids move to a bed, im letting him decide when is best on his own, without pressure or force.

Veronica on

Both our boys co-slept with us.
My seven year old was almost three when we transitioned him to his own bed without any trouble. He is secure, confident and independent.
And we transitioned my three year old about four months ago. He is much happier in his own space as he likes to move all around the bed and we just kept getting in his way when he slept with us. We had not trouble with him either.
Nothing beats sharing this with your children and we enjoyed every minute of it!
You are doing what comes naturally for you and Mason so keep up the great mothering!

Gina Russo on

Kourtney,

I think you should do what you feel is right with your little one. I have a 6 year old who I wake and thank god for everyday, he still sleeps with me. When he was little I loved it, not only did we have mommy bonding time but I would wake up in the middle of the night and not have to get out of bed, not to mention he’d sleep better. It’s actually really funny now cause there were a few times where he’d sleep in his own bed and one time I woke up and totally freaked out cause he wasn’t next to me, I thought he wondered out the front door, when in reality he wasn’t with me at all, he was with grandma. It was so scary. Anyway, I would recommend being like me and letting him sleep with you till he’s 6 (believe me my sons’s days are numbered) but when he’s little it’s your choice. He will only be little for a very short time and your going to blink and he will be 6. Good luck doll.

Lola Monroe on

Kourtney! I looove reading your blogs & seeing new pictures of Mason, he is such a doll. Anyways, I think you should make this baby blogging business a permanent thing, I dont think ive seen this many comments on ONE post since Brad & Angelia had their twins….haha!!!

Gina on

I let my kids sleep with me whenever – much to others dismay. I don’t care.. my general thought is that when they are ready they will go sleep in their own beds… they aren’t going to be 30 y.o. sleeping in your bed, you know?

My daughter slept on/off with us until she was about 4 (she is 9 now)… my son is now 6 and will still crawl into my bed about 4 nights out of the week. I love it. A bond is created. It’s natural. In my instance, it worked. My kids are happy and healthy – sharp as a tack and hilariously funny. I wouldn’t have done it any other way.

It was the correct decision for us. So far so good! Good Luck!

ariana on

he’s looking more and moer like scott each time we see him! so handsome!

Amber on

Our son (also a Mason) co-slept with us until around 2-3 months. He started in a bassinet but after cluster nursing all through the night I was too exhausted and just left him in bed with us. Once he started sleeping 6-7 hour stretches through the night we moved him to crib. It took a little longer to get him napping in his crib, but he was fully sleeping through the night in his crib by 4-5 months. After we had moved him to his crib I tried bringing him back to bed with me when my hubby was away and neither of us slept as well as we used to, he had become accustomed to having his own space and was used to the sounds in his own room. He’s now 14 months old, and Baby #2 will be arriving in August, and we intend to do the same this time around as well.

Laura on

amandamay-

I don’t know what statistics you are referring to but Jane is not fear mongering and appears to be in the child safety field.

I’m sure that the American Academy of Pediatricians and CDC are well aware of all of the statistics and they have advised against co-sleeping. They have expertise and studies that we do not so it is smart to follow their advice.

If there are “more” crib deaths it is likely a statistical probability because more babies sleep in cribs, like there may be more deaths due to car accidents than motorcycle accidents because more people drive cars but motorcycles are more dangerous (don’t know if this is true, just an example).

Yes, there are ways to use a crib irresponsibly– heavy bumpers, pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, etc– that increase the risk of SIDS. But child safety experts clearly sstate that placing a baby to sleep on her back in a crib that meets safety regulations and is free of loose cloth and objects is the safest. It’s unfortunate that people choose to disregard safety advice to satisfy *their* own needs.

On a side note, as a doctor of psychology I constantly see families struggle to break the habit of their children sleeping in their bed, and more importantly, the negative impact on self-confidence that older (5 and up) kids have when they are too scared to be in their own rooms.

It is one thing to be unaware of the data but to be aware of it and dismiss it is troubling.

Beth C on

My 9-month old started out in a bassinet next to my bed, then transitioned to the pack and play across the room at 4 months, and finally into his crib at 6 months. We are still going strong on the breastfeeding, but I was never able to feed and sleep at the same time. He sleeps through the night, and have only had a few times where he didn’t sleep through the night after those first 3 months. We do not co-sleep through the night–never have. but we do co-sleep for the morning nap–he wakes at 7ish, comes to bed with me, I nurse him, and then we nap together for about 2 hours. At first, i was really nervous, and I didn’t sleep–just stared at him, lol. But I got more comfy, and we do both sleep. Until last week–when the little bugger woke up before mommy and crawled off the bed! Stopped my heart and scared the stuffing out of me! So no longer–he naps and sleeps in his own crib. I love the nap time together, but I am just too scared that he will hurt himself. I do want to commend you for the extended breastfeeding tho–I am loving every minute of it too, and really don’t anticipate stopping any time soon. It’s such a special bonding time, and I don’t want to give that up. You’re a good Mommy Kourtney, keep up the good work!!!

Stephanie on

I let my first son (almost 6 now) sleep in the bed with me until he was 4. Then, it just got too tight in my bed and he tossed and turn horribly. I realized quickly that breaking him of the habit wouldn’t be easy and I had essentially created a bed hogging monster. But, after 3 or 4 really long nights of tears, whining and putting him back in his own bed every 30 minutes he was cured. Now I only have to deal with him sneaking in our bed ocassionaly (storms, bad dreams, etc). Now I put my 9 month old in his own crib for naps and bedtime. However, my problem now is my baby has to be rocked or held until he gets to sleep and won’t self-soothe himself. Any ideas for that one?

Greta B on

Do what you think is right for you and your family. It’s really a matter of opinion as there are supposed risks either way.

We are co-sleeping with our son and he is 3 and a half. It just seemed unfair to us to make him sleep alone when we were sleeping together.

The warnings are for obese or drunk people. Enjoy your son!! Good on the breast feeding too! We just stopped – well my son did on his own – a few months ago.

Best of luck!

Alicia Litchfield on

Kourtney, First..Congrats on your beautiful son, Mason. It makes me so happy to see new moms asking for thoughts and valuing others opinions. We definatly do not come with a manual, so kudos to you… My daughter always stayed in my bed, as bad as people say it is, it can be very dangerous for your little one. A baby in my state was rolled on top off and suffocated by his father who happened to be intoxicated. That poor mother, losing her first baby, but then shame on her for leaving her baby with someone so irresponsible. Safety should take precedence…When my little one was almost 10 months old, she rolled out of my Queen sized bed, onto a stack of pillows (THANKFULLY), however, it could have been very serious.
My advice is to keep in your bed until he falls asleep, then transfer him into his own bed. Good Luck. We love your family and your show.
Alicia Litchfield, Athol, MA

Michelle on

I still can’t understand why you would want a 4 year old in your bed. It is ridiculous…parents are way too self serving.

Steph on

My 18 month old is still nursing, and sleeping in our bed. I’m 3 months pregnant with my second, and I’m perfectly happy this way. As long as you and your child are happy co-sleeping, there’s no reason to stop. Your baby will stop all on his own when he no longer needs that extra night time comfort.

As for the need for privacy in the bedroom, I have to assume most people have more than one room in their homes ;) Get creative and enjoy yourselves. My daughter is perfectly capable of napping on her own in our bed, as well as at night before I go to sleep. Congratulations Kourtney, a mothers instincts are usually right, and if it feels wrong, don’t do it.

Mommy's Seven Kids on

I’m the proud Mama to seven little darlings, ranging from 6 to just under a month. Like the user “Nate, Seb, Miko & Gabe’s Mom”, I’ve had different experiences with each. With my eldest three, I was a proud advocate of the cot straight away. Lexi, Grayson and Seamus were all healthy babies, all over 7lb, and we had no problems with their health, they went straight into the crib from a couple of weeks old. I’d never co-slept because I didn’t see the need.

However, my fourth and fifth children were twins. Maggie and Jack were both premature, under 3lb, and obviously we were all incredibly worried about them for the first couple of weeks of their lives. When we finally brought them home, I felt insecure leaving them alone in their nursery. I tried co-sleeping, and discovered I loved the quality time between myself and my children. Also, being a mother to twins for the first time, I found it easier having both babies there when I needed to breastfeed. Maggie and Jack are healthy 17 month olds in their own cots now, but I feel grateful for the extra time that I’ve spent with them.

With my next two children (another set of twins), I wanted to recreate that valuable time I’d spent with my other kids. I’d also found myself regretting that I hadn’t co-slept with my elder three kids (who, emotionally and mentally, are no different to the twins). When Jensen and Michael arrived, I decided to continue co-sleeping. Nearly a month on, I feel fully refreshed and the babies are thriving.

Those are my experiences of co-sleeping. My mother had my brother, sister and myself in bed with her and Dad. We’ve all turned out fine. My sister does it with her son. I am a convertee to co-sleeping and am glad that I discovered it before it was too late.

Pauline on

I say follow your instincts and don’t worry too much about what other people say. It sounds like you and your lil man have a nice arrangement that’s working for everyone and that’s all that matters. Plus, every baby is different. My 9yr old slept with me until she was about 6. I have to admit she was a little on the clingy side when it came to bedtime as a baby and as she got older, but I never complained because she was the happiest and most pleasant little girl throughout the day! To this day she’s just a cuddly kid, it’s part of who she is and I don’t think I could have changed that by making her cry herself to sleep in her own bed every night. When I was prego with baby #2 I said I wasn’t going to get her used to sleeping with us, but then she was born and that idea went out the window! I realized quickly that I got the best nights of sleep when she was sleeping right smack in the middle! Not only does it reduce the risk of SIDS, which I’m very paranoid of, but I feel so much closer to her. She’s now 8 months old and there’s nothing sweeter than waking up to her big cheesey smile every morning as she crawls all over us! I did learn a lil from my first and made sure I got her used to her crib. She naps perfectly fine there and when we need her to sleep in it at night, she doesn’t give us a hard time at all. We were blessed! They grow up so fast, I say just enjoy every second you can with him!! When the time is right for him to move on to his own bed, whether it be a month or 5 yrs from now, you will know!! : )

Yolanda on

There really seems to be many of you that truly believe in bed sharing. I wish you all the best of luck in life. I myself know of a mother personally that felt like so many of you, she shared her bed with all seven of her babes, the last one (the seventh) died in bed with her. She was not drink, she was not obese, there were no blankets or pillows and her husband was not in bed with her. Her arm slung over the little guys face and smothered him, take your arm and see how easy it is to cover the mooth and nose of a little one. Please educate yourselves in the triple risk model for SIDS, and contrary to pulblic belief bedsharing does NOT reduce the risk of SIDS. A coroner will not call a death of a child in bedsharing SIDS because they cannot out rule suffocation, therefore it is listed as “unknown” or “undertermined” words that haunt us SIDS mothers for the rest of our lives.

Shay Furnari on

For me, I never even thought about putting my baby in a crib. In another room, seperate from me? No. I couldn’t even fathom it. My baby slept with me for 9 months. I nursed and slept at the same time and it was wonderful, a beautiful experience that I’ll always look back on. By 9 months I was ready to be with my husband again and regain our bedroom territory. I never knew it to be controversial either. It seems more odd to me that people seperate themselves from their newborn babies.

JMF on

I say do what you like- I did cosleeping with all of ours and it was divine. Since you will never get this time back always enjoy!

Teri on

My daughter co-slept with us for the first 17 months and then went straight into her little toddler bed without incident. I loved that time and it made sleeping and nursing so much easier as well. My little girl is happy, well adjusted and knows that Mommy and Daddy love her. Crib sleeping is relatively new to our society (it began a little over 100 years ago) and prior to that it was expected that children would sleep with their parents for safety, comfort and warmth. It was the wealthy who created first cribs and then separate rooms (nurseries) for their children in an effort to create a class distinction between themselves and those without the means to do so. Good for you for doing something so wonderful for your son!

Michelle on

With my first DS, I fought the battle many nights to get him to sleep in his crib. It was exhausting. I also did a lot of research on co-sleeping and around the time he was an older baby we started trying it and FINALLY we all got sleep. :-)

With my second DS, I started out co-sleeping and it has been so good. He is now 18 mo and we get him to sleep in his crib each night just fine. There was no struggle with that. He does wake some nights. When he does, I go get him and bring him to bed with us and we all sleep soundly the rest of the night. He is still so young, I can’t stand for him to wake up scared and wondering where I am.

I have no regrets in co-sleeping and feel it has helped us to have such a great relationship with both boys. The oldest, now 3, sleeps in his own room. Co-sleeping is a great way for us to reconnect at night. The time they are little is so short lived. To wake next to his sweet little body is wonderful! When he wakes me smiling even better! Wouldn’t change it for the world!

God bless you and your little baby and here’s hoping for many happy nights of cuddles together! :-)

Vanessa on

My first baby slept with me during his first trimester (it was the best time ever!) and then he started sleeping in his own crib…in his own room…
It wasn’t the same story with my second baby…she has seemed to be more independent, she is very kind and gentle, she doesn’t cry at all and I was more confident with this attitude, thats why she slept in her crib and room right after her first month!!!
I say do what your instinct tell… you will never regreat!!!!

Ray Miller on

People, do you wake up in the same position you fall asleep in? Don’t risk smothering your baby.

Dr. Ray Miller

Melissa on

I agree with others that sleeping arrangements should be whatever works best for the baby and parents. My husband and I really like the idea of co-sleeping (it seems like the natural thing to do and promotes parent/child bonding) but only co-slept with our baby for about the first week. We found that we all weren’t getting very quality sleep because our movements would wake each other up and I was also really paranoid (waking up constantly) to check on him. We moved him to a bassinet by our bed after the first week and that worked so much better and allowed me to sleep more. Then at about 7-8 weeks we moved him into his crib in his own room. I felt a little cruel at first putting him in his crib in a separate room but he didn’t mind it at all and it allowed us to all sleep better. We could still hear him clearly when he needed us, but didn’t hear all of his little noises and movements. I think that each family should figure out what works best for them and yes, go with your mothering instincts! Either way, they will turn out to be happy and healthy, and they know when they are loved.

co-sleepin' mama on

There is NO WAY I ~wouldn’t~ co-sleep. I’d be way more terrified of this SIDS blanket boogie man snuffing her out and me five miles down the hall none the wiser until morning. And I thought there was a gene that pre-disposed to you to SIDS anyway, no? And that they pull you aside somewhere waaaay before the baby is even born to discuss it with you?

My 3 1/2-year-old can sleep with me until she’s 30 if she wants.

co-sleepin' mama on

Dr. Ray Miller:

Please. Save the unsolicited “advice” for the pharm reps you spend more time with than patients.

Katie on

Like you, I am a working mom and also felt the time we spent sleeping at night together was great and valuable bonding time. I slept with my son in my arms, until he was nine months old, and I could tell he was ready to move to his crib. I could tell because he wasn’t sleeping as well with me anymore. So, we moved him to his crib and he did great with the transition. I know it’s a hot topic and can be considered unsafe and believe everyone has the right to their own opinion on it. But, for me and my son, it worked great!

co-sleepin' mama on

One of our nannies was from some South American country/island/whatever and she always said it was tradition in their culture kids sleep in the bed until they are 5. The “controversey” (a.k.a. the guilt and shame hoisted upon you by irrelevant strangers) ~vanished~ the moment I heard that. Look at Americans. Are these really the people you want to be taking advice from?

Lori on

I think the baby needs to sleep in his own bed, in his own room. I understand the bassinet in your room early on, but he needs to learn how to put himself to sleep and how to sleep without anyone around. The longer you let him sleep in your bed, the harder it will be to break him of the habit.

annette on

I have co-slept with all my kids and can not imagine doing it any other way. They never had issues transitioning into their own beds, since I let them do it when they were ready and I never pressured them to ‘hurry up’ and be a ‘big kid’. I think it’s different for everyone and every child…if you are enjoying co-sleeping right now…then ENJOY it! They are only little, for a little while, lifes too short to live with regrets, so savor every second with him next to you!

co-sleepin' mama on

because a THREE-MONTH-OLD needs to be more INDEPENDENT!

**cuckoo**cuckoo**

PeacefulSleeper on

We tried cosleeping when my son was born in 2000. It lasted 3 weeks. At that time, I awoke from a hard sleep with my arm draped over his upper chest/neck area and it scared the living daylights out of me. I sleep hard most of the time and that doesn’t work well with a newborn/infant in the bed. We got one of those bassinets that opens on one side to the bed and that worked well for all of us. He was still close enough for me to put my hand on him when we fell asleep but off the main part of the bed so I wouldn’t smother him in a deep sleep. It also made it very easy to transition to his crib when the time came.

I had no fear of SIDS because we had nothing in his crib but him. We were also able to teach him to self-soothe while in the bed-attached bassinet (he’d start to fuss and I’d reach over and put his fingers… not his thumb… into his mouth. After 2 nights, he was doing this on his own. He outgrew this in about 4 months and it was never an issue. We are SOOOO glad we didn’t continue to co-sleep because peaceful sleep is a necessary part of daily functioning and we are all peaceful sleepers now.

Dorena on

First, I need to say that I want to kiss Mason’s precious chubby feet! You have so many comments, I doubt you will read this, but in case you do, you will decide what is best for your son. I have a 2-yr old son, and I read so many books on sleep habits for babies. In hindsight I realize it is a personal decision, and dependant on the parents and babys’ personality. My son always slept on his own in his crib, from day 1 (some mornings though he was in bed with me). Now that he is a toddler, in a “big-boy” bed, he can get out of bed and come get me or yell for mommy from his room. We now spend more time sleeping with him than when he was a baby. So expect the unexpected, and things to always change. I know he will grow out of this phase, and all too soon want nothing to do with cuddling with his mommy, so I cherish this precious time with my angel.

Nadia R. on

Hi, i fell just the same as Kourtney. Me as a working mom of a 7 months old baby boy love to spend the evenings with my son, But my husband doesn´t like too much that we all spend the night in the same bed, so what we do is that the crib is near our bed, so he sleeps in the same room, but some nights he sleep with us…. half an a half… WHen he slepps eith us we take all the measures we can to make the experience safe for the baby!

April on

Mason looks just like Rob! OMG! I personally do not agree with allowing a baby to sleep in the bed with the parents. It is hard to break them from that and when you are ready for them to sleep in the bed by themselves, they tend to wake up in the middle of the night to crawl in the bed with mom and dad. I value mommy and daddy time…alone..

co-sleepin' mama on

>>>As a co-sleeper I just have to chime in lol. I think you should always do what works best for you and YOUR baby/family. For us that is co-sleeping for the first year and transition was a breeze at a year old with all four of our older kids (7, 5, 3 and 1, we also have a 8wk old). I never felt sleep deprived, even during the first few weeks or teething. To both dh and I co-sleeping was rewarding and something we enjoy. As for intimacy and and time to ourselves well, first of all the bed is not the only place to have sex or connect with my spouse and second we felt MORE emotionally connected by sharing this amazing time with each of the children we created. The majority of co-sleeping incidents/deaths are from unsafe co-sleeping. If as a couple/family you chose to safely co-sleep with your child(ren) then don’t let the nay-sayers make you think your doing something horrible and bad.

– Jessie on June 29th, 2010

~~~~~it is a fact that the majority of children who die from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) were co-sleeping.~~~~~

WRONG. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is diagnosed posthumously when THERE IS NO OTHER KNOWN CAUSE. And most SIDS cases happen in cribs/bassinets. I am not surprised by the ignorance spouted on co-sleeping though, people seem to respond from an emotional standpoint rather than a factual/true statistical one.

– Jessie on June 29th,<<<<<<010

co-sleepin' mama on

To hear these baby-banishers tell it, maybe you might avoid taking photos next to TREES, too.

PeacefulSleeper on

FYI, I was sober when I woke up with my arm across my beautiful son. I was not intoxicated in any way, shape, or form, so to insinuate that ONLY those who are intoxicated risk smothering their child is nonsense. Those who are advocating for ONLY co-sleeping and making the rest of us feel like subpar parents are just as dangerous as those who insist all babies should be put to sleep in a crib from day 1. What works for one child may not work for the other, even those in the same family. My son hated to be swaddled much less closely cuddled from the day we brought him home. Now, at 10yo, he only really cuddles when he’s not feeling well (the best way for me to test his “I want to say home from school, I don’t feel good” is to try to hug him!).

For those citing studies against crib-sleeping, I can find just as many studies against co-sleeping. Do we really want to play that game here when Kourtney is just asking for advice on what we individually do?

Acknowledge that the right place for a child to sleep is the decision for each family. We would have loved to cosleep and it never occurred to us that my hard, dead-to-the-world sleeping pattern would be detrimental to our child. We learned and adjusted accordingly. Some parents need more sleep than others. Some are attached at the hip to their kids and the kids love it… others, it doesn’t work that way.

Be tolerant of the decisions of others. Life would be so much better if we all acknowledged that it’s okay to do things differently.

PeacefulSleeper on

Co-sleepin’ Mama… please think before you speak to others. Your comments are offensive and denigrating to others with a difference of opinion. No one “banishes” their baby or is trying to raise their children wrong. It’s called being different and doing what works for your family.

You do what works for YOU… and let others do the same.

co-sleepin' mama on

To All Baby-Cuddly Lovers:

Next time some unsolicited intrusive stranger attempts to belittle your co-cleeping instincts, simply feign an interest in their misguided, processed, genetically-modified ignorance, and ask, “So.. what kind of juice do you recommend?”

“Ahhh.. 100% high-fructose corn syrup. Riiiiite..”

Then, backing away as slowly as you can away from the crazy person, Leap, Hop, Skip, or all three!, all the way home in your co-sleeping vindication.

43% of modern Americans will die from cancer in this country, afterall. Or isn’t it easier for them to try to change others than their own Smithfield-Ham-Kill-Floor-squeel eating selves.

Thaaat’s what I thought.

Toni on

My daughter always fell asleep with while we were still up and then we would take her to her room..we still got that amazing bonding time but in the end she still knows what sleeping alone is like..i truly started this bc i wanted to cuddle but my hubby is a very light sleeper so you just never know when he could mistake the baby for the pillow…just be careful of that otherwise enjoy the time that he is small enough to fit perfectly on your shoulder…your a great momma!

Ashley on

My daughter is 2 years old. She co-slept with me until she was 14 months old. I was always rested better and so was she. I moved her into her own bed when she was 17 months old. She has never ever fought me or cried over not sleeping in mommy and daddy’s bed. She and I still co-sleep atleast once a week. She is very independent and smart. I believe that it is on a individual basis on how a child handles being in their own bed. Not all children are hard to break of the co-sleeping habit. I think Kourtney is doing a great job. I think the easiest way to transition is to do it while they are still too young to fight it much.

Laura on

As a mother of 4 I can tell you that you should get that baby sleeping in his bed before he’s a year old. It’s nearly impossible after that for 2 reasons. You get just as used to having him there as he is to sleeping with you. Our youngest was allowed to sleep with us and even when he was 6 and 7 he was still trying to creep into bed with us. It’s not fun when they get big and insist they can’t sleep in their room!

It’s a great thing to sleep with them but it’s a really tough habit to break and I think you’re doing a great job.

Angela on

It is really not about what other people think. You have been blessed with this gift to do with what YOU think is best. It is the most amazing feeling, being a mom, and you should spend the time however makes you feel the most connected to your child. I have had 3 children and all of them have slept with us. The oldest is now 15 and they are all perfectly fine. Some people can not understand the emotional bond between a mother and her baby…especially when you are a nursing mother. To me, it is the most innocent, pure feeling I have ever felt. The love that you feel is hard to describe, because it is so intense. I wish you the best of luck in raising your son. Time goes by so quickly!! Enjoy ever moment and live it the best YOU know how too.

co-sleepin' mama on

I can live with that.

D on

As a past Coroner Investigator and Criminal Investigator, I’m amazed at how many people still do this. I’ve been to too many scenes to count where the mother, father or other sibling has accidentally smothered the baby while sleeping in the same bed. Also babies can also easily be suffocated by bedding and pillows, as they do not have the muscle control or strength to move themselves away. You would think that a parent would do whatever they could to keep their children safe.

Stephanie on

With my first, I did not co-sleep. With my second, I did. She is now 2 and sleeps most of the night on her own. When she was a few months old, we put a big mattress on the floor of her room and I nursed her to sleep there. Then I’d leave. When she’d wake up a few hours later, I’d join her. That way, she still has some practice with independent sleep, but I can easily co-sleep if she is needing some comfort. I never would have imagined myself being a co-sleeper, but it has worked best for us (and her!). She is so confident and independent – much more so than the child who slept in a crib from day 1.

co-sleepin' mama on

Ya.. and you’d think that coroners would know that Michael Jackson and Britney Murphy didn’t die of “natural causes” too, wouldn’t ya?

Welp. That’s what ya get for thinkin’ :o)

Lynda on

I have 3 children! They slept with me off and on! Especially when they are sick! I say that everyone parents different and if that is how you like to bond go for it. My son rarely slept with me as a baby because he like his own space and now he is 5 and is going through a phase where he thinks there are monsters in his room so he climbs in bed with me now. So I say do what you feel is best for you and Mason!!

Chrystal on

I remember contemplating the same issue with my little boy. We ended up letting him co-sleep until he was about 3 years old. Once they get bigger it gets a more uncomfortable though. A couple of months ago we got him a big boy bed. I was worried that he wouldn’t want to sleep in it, but he loves it. So, the transition went seamlessly! I think being used to sleeping in a bed helped him like his big boy bed and stay in there throughout the night. Plus the co-sleeping makes for a really amazing bond!

D on

Ignorance is bliss, until a fatal accident happens. On that note, I obviously won’t change anyones mind, so that’s the end of my posting on this subject.

PeacefulSleeper on

Again with the nastiness, Co-sleepin’ Mama. And to a professional who was giving you his educated and experience-wizened opinion. Take it or don’t take it, but there is no call for the hatefulness you are projecting. It does not help your case at all.

Again… to each family their own sleeping arrangements. If you want to judge others, start with yourself. And if you can’t see what’s wrong there from your posts here, you need professional help.

co-sleepin' mama on

I see.. and so what were those parents in Central Park last week in your view, Dr.? Ignorant?

Of a falling tree?

Niiice!

Kidnurse on

It looks as though you have received a ton of information and opinions on the topic of co-sleeping, so I’ll keep it short and sweet. As an RN, I have to counsel new moms every day on the dangers of sleeping with their newborns, and yet, they begin doing it right in the hospital. I had a mom who fell asleep with the baby on her chest, and the baby slid face down under her armpit. Newborns don’t have the neck strength to move themselves out of harms way. It’s not the term SIDS that kills co-sleeping babies, it’s the fact that they can’t push a 100lb.+ adult out their way.

co-sleepin' mama on

And, sorry, that was just too good to not review..

“Ignorance is bliss until a fatal accident happens”

Noo! Ya don’t say!

Of course, that is why they call them *accidents* afterall. To seperate them from the screwball *intentionals* you’d sooner lump them all together with…

Vanessa on

When i had my first baby i didn’t want him to leave my side so he was always with me even in bed. By the time he was 2 I was ready to deliver my second son and I bought him his big boy bed and placed it next to my bed until he was ready to be in his room by himself,and I had no problem. So just go with it,you are a great mom so you know what works best for you and Mason!

co-sleepin' mama on

again with the lumping drunken obese people in with the rest of normal, healthy society. way to lower the bar, peeps. good lookin’ out..

Kat on

About a month ago we moved our son into his own room and into his big boy, big boy crib. He co-slept with me for about 9 months. It was time to move him because he learned how to crawl and I was worried something would happen. It was a rough few nights at first, I even slept on the floor in his room for the first two nights but now he is sleeping all the way through the night most of the time (still wants to nurse every once and a while) 12 hours!! But do what is best for you and Mason, and then think about Scott…mommies always know best!! :0)

AliTheGreat on

i slept with my son in the bed too. bc i nursed him, it was just easier for both of us, when he fussed, to snuggle him in for a meal. utter bliss! i was sometimes scared i was going to squish him or that he’d roll onto the floor but he never did.

now they have those co-sleepers (they prob’ly had them then too, but i was B-R-O-K-E, nursing so i didn’t have to buy formula!) which are brilliant and, imo, the best of both worlds. you can get him out when he gets too big, but it prob’ly won’t be easy! do it before 12 months, imo, for best results, or you’ll have a 5yo in your bed w you.

he’s 11 now and we are incredibly bonded. he’s always the kid who never gets out of the pool until it’s time to go home, he doesn’t whine, and has the most steady internal compass of any kid i know, will not be swayed by peer pressure. of course i attribute this to him having internalized his mother’s unconditional love from all that snuggle time! ;)

good luck, motherhood is no cake walk, just the hardest job you’ll ever love.

Sarah on

Enjoy your time sleeping with Mason! I wish my Devin would co-sleep. We’ve tried and tried, but he prefers to sleep in his crib at night – though he loves to sleep wrapped on my back or in my arms during the day. And don’t worry, all of my friends who co-sleep have had their children move to their own beds around 2-3 years old. It’s a gradual transition as the children get more independent. On the plus side, a strong parent-child attachment makes for a more independent toddler/preschooler.

Jack on

I agree with D and Kidnurse.
According to co sleeping mama’s line of thinking we should let our children swim in a lake without life jackets, and leave loaded guns around children – well because accidents happen right? Yes freak accidents happen, but easily PREVENTABLE accidents like smothering of a baby by co-sleeping is a shame and negligent. Ignorance may not be bliss, but knowledge is power.

Crystal on

Well I am sure you don’t need over 600 people telling you their opinion but if anything you will find that whatever is best for you and Mason may not be someone else’s best.

I was always too stressed about waking my Ruby up that we never co-sleeped. She slept in bassinet for 4 weeks in our room then in her crib ever since. She also happens to have been a GREAT sleeper since the beginning so maybe that made the transition easier.

Mar on

All three of my children slept with us in our bed, and I, too, treasured the time. They all sleep well in their own beds and rarely woke up in the middle of the night unless they were sick once they moved. I think I got a lot more sleep than my friends who didn’t do that; I didn’t have to fully wake up to nurse them. What you describe about you breathing together with him actually is one of the most beneficial things about cosleeping; your regular breathing keeps your baby’s regular, helping to prevent SIDS (see Dr. Sears).

Catca on

Can I just start by saying how darn cute Mason’s feet are!!! As far as co-sleeping goes, my son is 1 mo younger than your son. He has never co-slept because I am so paranoid about SIDS and supposedly while you can make it safer, it’s never actually safe (according to the SIDS alliance and American Pediatrics Association), but my goodness am I jealous of the mom’s who do it. And, I will also say my sis is a doctor and she co-slept with my nieces and they were fine (although she could never get them to sleep in their cribs and they still giver her problems about sleeping in their own beds and they are 8 and 6). I’m waiting until he’s 1 year old and then I’ll let him sleep in my bed if he’s not feeling well or scared during a thunderstorm, etc. I will say he’s an amazingly good sleeper – has been sleeping at least 9 hours straight every night (sometimes as much as 11 hours) since he was 3 mos old and he self soothes himself to sleep (we have a regular bedtime routine).

Charleen on

I realize this may be lost in the over 600 comments this blog post has attracted but I wanted to make a comment about the issue how easy it will be to move your child to his own bed later in life. I think one thing that a lot of people fail to realize is that when it comes to children and sleep, personality plays a large role in how the sleep and how easily it is to get them to sleep on their own. Some children will naturally sleep well on their own as infants, with some sleeping better in their own bed then when co-sleeping in bed with mom. Others do not sleep well on their own but sleep much in bed with their mom. Finely, there are kids who never slept well at all since the day they where born whether bed sharing or in their own crib/bed. If you have a child that seems to sleep well while co-sleeping but doesn’t sleep well once they are moved to their own, some people might assume it’s due to co-sleeping (or co-sleeping for too long) when in reality it’s may simply be their personality. Those are the types of children the non-bed sharing parent often ends up using sleep training methods like CIO on in order to get them to sleep on their own. had they co-slept and did the CIO when was older it likely would have been no more difficult then if done as an infant. So don’t worry that you will miss some magic window for moving your child to his own bed after which your child will never want to stop co-sleeping ever.

Carla on

So glad you are speaking so openly about having a family bed. My husband and I share our bed with our daughters (1 and 3) and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Like you, I followed my instincts and it is what feels natural and normal for our family. You will get lots of advice as a parent. Trust yourself, trust your instincts. It’s the norm in a lot of other countries for family to co-sleep. But our culture isn’t one that celebrates this concept. We believe in “independence” and teaching them from the start. Your baby will be little for only so long. Before you know it, he’ll be running off to have his own life. What’s the rush? And yes, it is completely healthy. Your kid will be just as independent as the kid who sleeps on his own. You make the choices for your family. You are wired by mother nature to respond to your child’s needs. Ignore the skeptics – they’re just trying to justify the choices they’ve made. You’ll notice most co-sleepers won’t judge the choices of others but most non-co-sleepers jump at the chance to jump on their soap box. I’m rambling now but I think it’s wonderful you have shared this.

I could go on forever but I’ve said it all before:

http://mamaheartsbaby.com/mamahood-tuesdays-our-family-bed/

http://latina.com/blogs/mami-diaries/sweet-dreams

Enjoy your precious little man =)

melissa on

I love it that u blog! I am a new mom myself of a 4 month old baby girl. she slept w/ me up until daddy got her crib up about a month ago. she started sleeping 6 hrs at that point so it was a good time for me to have the bed to myself and play catchup. i am so lucky she is a hard sleeper like me and loves to sleep. she sleeps in her crib no prob. but if she wakes up about 3, most of the time im too tired to put her back in the crib so, she will sleep w/me for the next couple hours til time to get up.

M on

We never let our son sleep in the bed with us until I was on bedrest with my second pregnancy and my husband starting letting him sleep in the bed with him while I was in the hospital on bedrest. He was 2.5 at the time. Now that he is 4, he falls asleep in his own bed at bedtime but at some point during the middle of the night he makes his way to our bed and we don’t mind at all. We have the best of both worlds. He sleeps in his own bed, we get our alone time and then we get to see his smiling face in the morning when we wake up. I really enjoy snuggling with him in the morning. Our daugher who is 14 months old still sleeps in her crib but I’m sure at some point when she’s older and sleeping in a big bed she will also make her way to our room in the middle of the night. I figure they will not want to sleep in our bed with us forever so for now I’m just going to enjoy it! :) Go with your instincts and do what is right for you and Scott! Good Luck!

lisa on

my son slept with ma alot, almost every night. He is 3 now and no longer needs to. S I sat go for it, just start cutting back. Like always have them in the crib at first then when they cry bring them in, pretty soon only let them in after 5am then at some point they will just come in after they wake up in the morning.

Jenn on

I am not a fan of co-sleeping but I say whatever works for you. However, I do have a friend that did the co-sleeping thing and he ended up suffocating in her bed in the middle of the night. Too risky for me but it works for some.

Momof7 on

Do what works best for you and your child! I have co-slept with all my kids and when they reach about 2 -3 they have gradually moved into their own beds by their own choice. Yes occasionally ( usually only during a thunder storm or if they are not feeling well) we wake up and have a couple of 6 year old’s and a 3 year old in bed with us plus the 1 year old but that is why we have a King Size bed. ;) My older kids ages 11, 10 and 8 are great sleepers. We never had to deal with nightlights and or really nightmares either. They feel safe going to bed. They all know if they need mom or dad that we are here for them, regardless of where they are sleeping.

Cassandra on

I believe that a mother should not listen to what everyone else suggests…but listen to your baby and your heart!

My son, who is 17 months old, just started sleeping in his own bed only 2 months ago. The only reason why I began transistioning him to his own bed is because I am 5 months pregnant with our 2nd son…and I need all the room and pillows in our bed that I can get! Lol! Most people told me that I was creating a disaster by allowing our son to sleep with us. I was told that he would grow up to have separation issues and dependency issue! Well, I beg to differ! My son is VERY independent, happy, healthy….and most importantly, he has a great bond with mommy and daddy. I thank co-sleeping for this bond. And as far as the transition…he did GREAT! He barely cries and falls asleep almost immediately.

So bottom line: don’t listen to negative comments. Follow your heart and your baby’s lead!

Joanna on

I have a 5 year old and when he was a baby he always slept in his crib. I am very greatful for that because that gave me and my boyfriend that special bonding time at the end of the day, you dont want to take that itimacy away,you need that time together….and you can cuddle and bond with your baby all day long, they arent going to remember sleeping with you. You will be sorry if you continue letting the baby sleep in your bed, he will become dependent on sleeping with you and will give you a hard time in the future about going to bed, because when they are older and start school they need that 830 bedtime and mommys and daddys dont go to bed that early and he will want you to if he continues to sleep in bed with you, my neighbors kids wont fall asleep unless they are in their parents bed with BOTH parents. Mason is still young and you are still breastfeeding so when you ween him out of the breast milk, ween him from the bed too!! best of luck! youve got a handsome little guy!!! -joanna

Jenna on

I had totally different experiences with co-sleeping. With my first daughter, I always put her in her own bed and she did just fine. In fact, she would actually sleep better in her own bed than in mine. I had another daughter just 16 months later and she did not want to sleep in her own bed no matter what we did. She ended up sleeping in my room but in her own little bed. Then when she was bigger and we put her in her own room in her crib, she screamed until I took her out and would come into my room every night. This became an every-night situation until she finally ended up sleeping in her sister’s room. I can only say you have to do what is best for your own situation: if the baby won’t sleep unless he’s next to you and you need your rest, too, then let him. There isn’t much you can do, but I will tell you it is extremely hard to get them out of your bed when they get older.

Evie Garone on

I let both of our infant boys sleep with us as I breast fed them. It was a nice time I shared with them and their father plus I was also sooo tired. But as they grew older I called an end to this as I wanted privacy and intimacy for my husband and I to be reestablished. I am sure you will know what is the correct path for you and your family. Follow your maternal instincts! Good Luck!

Claudz on

i agree with everyone saying trust ur instinct. my daughter is turning 3yrs old this month and she’s sleeping in the bed with us eversince she was born. it’s normal for us; no big deal. im glad that she’s independent contrary to what others will say that a child will become too attached bcoz of it. i love the feeling that she’s just beside me. i read her bedtime stories; she sometimes want to be scratched on the back etc. i also find it cute that my husband and i sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night finding our daughter’s feet on my face and her butt on my husband’s face lol! i love it. i want to savor the moment that she still sleeps with us because eventually time will come that she wants to have a room of her own and doesnt want to be bothered :-)

Kari on

I totally agree with everything that “amandamay” wrote on her June 29th comment. I couldn’t have said it better. Our son is 5 and he is just like amandamay described her 7 year old. Independent, bright, well rounded, considerate of others feelings even at his age and just a joy to be around. He sometimes sleeps in his own bed, in his own room across the hall but knows he can come in with us at anytime. Sometimes when I hear someone talk so negative about children sleeping with their parents, I have to wonder just how do they explain to their child that it’s “wrong”. In a childs eyes they see mommy and daddy sleeping together, they want to be part of that too. It’s comforting and it’s really one of the most natural things to do in life. So, whatever you decide….go with what you feel in your heart….enjoy every minute and every day. Mason is a beautiful baby and you’re a wonderful mom.

Becca on

I feel like each parent should do what they feel in their hearts, but I do not agree with co-sleeping. My daughter is 18 months old and she sleeps and naps independently in her crib. She was in a bassinet beside the bed until 3 1/2 months but transitioned beautifully to her crib and she has slept there every night and I am so thankful. I love her, but our bed is for my husband and I. I can understand the argument about wanting to be near your baby, etc. but I spend the day with her and make sure to play and cuddle with her during awake hours as does my husband. I don’t really want her to feel the need to be with me constantly. I honestly don’t think that its beneficial to the child, I think that the parent is doing it for themselves and putting the baby in danger in the process. I was fearful of rolling over onto her and I just quite frankly wanted that alone time with my husband. It makes the moment I walk into her room in the morning so much more special now because I am refreshed and we are equally happy to see each other! It also allows the baby to form some healthy independence and learn that Mommy and Daddy are going to be there, but not always RIGHT there. Co-sleeping in the end makes it harder for the toddler or older child to learn to sleep alone in their bed and I just don’t see the benefits out-weighing the negatives. Think about your spouse or partner and yourself. I love my husband and at night in bed is the only time we can really reconnect as a couple without interruption! Why further the distraction by a baby in the bed? I’m sorry but a footed pajama clad toddler is not my idea of romance! :)

Nancy Cavallaro on

As a Mom of 4(3 boys and 1 girl and in that order), who is now 60, all of them slept in bed with us and in their bassinet and then crib that was kept close to our bed until they were 5 or till the next child came whichever came first. When they were older if they had a bad dream or couldn’t sleep they would climb out of their crib and slip into bed with us cuddle and go to sleep. My husband and I still had our private moments, just a little more selective of where and when. As they all grew, Saturday mornings (6 a.m.) everyone climbed into our bed to watch cartoons. Enjoy him now for he will grow up too… too… fast. Hold him, kiss him, tell him you love him every moment you can…now and always. Enjoy every moment you can because… before you know it he will be grown and in another womans’ arms and bed and then you will be a grandmother..lol Life goes on…. Best Wishes and Best of Luck and Love…..

Jen on

When my son was first born he slept in his bassinet in our bedroom. However we learned pretty quickly early on this was not a good idea. Our soon kept us up w/his noises and we hardly caught any sleep; which was disasterous b/c we were already sleep deprived. So at night our son slept in his crib and he’s been fine w/it ever since. There are times my son (who’s now 13 months) sleeps in our bed w/us during naps but never throughout the night in our bed. He sleeps like a wild man and rolls and kicks everyone so that would not be good. As a mother you have to do what’s right for you and your family, however when you do try to get him to sleep in his own crib, you may find it harder to transition since he’s gotten so used to sleeping w/you. Good luck.

One person on

I rarely comment but I’ve got a day off and I feel very strongly on this issue:
Please do not co-sleep with a young baby. As a doctor, the saddest thing I have ever seen is a baby who came into the ER dead. Mom picked him up from his crib during the night to feed him and put him in bed next to her to calm him for a while after he was done. He rolled over that night and ended up face down on the mattress and they found him dead the next morning. I know this is a horrible story to share and that it doesn’t happen often but this was a good mom and it was devastating for her to lose her firstborn this way.Your baby is too precious to take this chance.
Obviously, this is your decision. I just wanted to share this one experience.

Emily on

Cosleeping is good. My daughter still comes to my bed when she is home from college.

claireabelle on

Co sleeping is getting quite popular here in the UK and I know a lot of friends who do. but I didn’t and never would. In fact my son went into his own room at 6weeks which may be controversial in itself!!
My son hated his moses basket and would not settle and I didn’t want to take him in bed with us for various reason – risk of harming baby, I’m a light sleeper, wanting him to self settle etc.
Ok so it took a few months for baby to sleep through (about 8) but most babes do but he goes down in his own bed awake and sleeps for 12hours then wakes and comes in our bed each morning, he is the most happy, loving boy I know and certainly doesn’t suffer from any separation anxiety

victoriacounsellor on

I too was really interested in co-sleeping when I had my son, but it was discouraged by the nursing staff at the hospital.
From what I understand of the research, there is an increased risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome when infants sleep with their parent(s). Ultimately I decided to follow the nursing staff advice, for safety’s sake. It was hard at first, but I feel I made the right decision for us — and it certainly helped him be a good napper and sleeper later on.

Over the years I have had many clients who regretted co-sleeping, particularly when their child was 2-5 years of age, and still not sleeping in their own bed. Having a toddler or preschooler in your bed on a regular basis can really interfere with your sleep, ability to cope with stress, and relationship with your partner.

It feels so good to snuggle and bond with your baby, but there are lots of opportunites to do this without co-sleeping.

Michelle on

I co-sleep with my little one. We both love it. I do worry about switching her to a big girl bed. But I’m a single mom, so it’s nice. We go to sleep together and wake up together. It also came in handy during breast feeding time.

stefanie on

Both my boys slept in bed with my husband and I. They are now two and four.Our four year old sleeps in his own bed (in my room)and the two year old still sleeps with us.I like knowing they are right there next to me. It makes us all feel safer.If jason and i need adult time we have a whole house.

MNmomof1 on

I don’t normally post on such things because every parent should do what works best for them, but I did want to say that I do not like the idea of co-sleeping. My husband is an EMT and has sadly responded to SEVERAL calls of a parent rolling over onto their child in their sleep. The children were not necessarily fragile newborns either. None of the children survived in these cases. I do understand how nice it is to snuggle with your child, but I would suggest you make it a routine to let them lay in bed with you for a little while after you have all woken up in the morning. Whether you talk, read books, etc. it still allows you bonding time. Our daughter gets to do this on the weekend and it’s nice for all of us. She also is independent and puts herself to sleep at night and sleeps all night long. Quite the opposite, my sister, who co-sleeps with her daughter, has a child that CANNOT even nap on her own in her crib. One parent must sleep with her at all times. I hope they still think it’s cute a couple of years from now.

jess on

cosleeping is great for raising a healthy happy attached child who feels safe and secure. Cosleeping is also the norm throughout evolutionary history and around the world. few cultures use cribs. Keep your baby close and your baby will be free of fear.

Jennell Cardin on

http://www.naylenshope.com
I am commenting on this because it is a deeply personal issue for me. Having read all the comments listed above I have very mixed feelings. I was a staunch advocate of co sleeping. My first two children slept with me exclusively for the first two years of their lives. I breastfed, it was convenient. I felt it encouraged bonding and honestly a lot of the time it was just easier. The downside to it was this, I had to lay down with my children to get them to go to sleep. So inevitably every night I would fall asleep with them and get nothing accomplished. I couldn’t find that “me time”. When my third daughter was born I didn’t even get a crib. We had a bassinet for downstairs but in our room from day one she slept in our bed. And I was a vocal advocate of it. The day before she turned two months old that changed. Everything did. We put her to bed that night right in the middle of us and drifted off. We were not obese, drunk, on drugs, or any of the other “risk factors”. I woke up and found her dead in between us. For a long time we didn’t know how she died, if it was SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) or asphyxiation. She was not obstructed by pillows or blankets, there was nothing covering her face. But we still felt responsible. When the autopsy report came back it said SIDS. It also had a disclaimer “because of history of cosleeping rollover cannot be eliminated”. So we were still left with no answers. The more research I did the less answers I had. SIDS is not a disease. It is a syndrome which literally means pattern. It is diagnosed when no cause of death can be found. So it basically means an unknown cause of death. There are just so many of them that it is a pattern that babies die in their sleep from unknown reasons. It is only with a complete autopsy, a death scene investigation, and a health history that SIDS can be diagnosed because then they can assure it fits the pattern.
But co sleeping is thought to be linked to SIDS. An adult bed makes it 40 times more likely. The current leading theory on SIDS is that babies are born with a brainstem abnormality or an immature brainstem. This is not something that can be diagnosed in check ups or even with extensive testing. The abnormality would be in the area of the brain that regulates serotonin. Serotonin helps to regulate breathing. So if a child had this brainstem abnormality they might not get an alert that basically tells them to breath. The abnormality wouldn’t cause SIDS, rather a trigger would. The two most common triggers are thought to be overheating and rebreathing. Rebreathing is where a child breathes in their own carbon dioxide. This is something that could easily happen in an adult bed as the mattresses are typically softer (creating pockets for air to become trapped) there are more blankets, pillows, and their are adult bodies also exhaling carbon dioxide. Overheating too is much more common in an adult bed. Same reasons.
Where I am going with this is that co sleeping can be dangerous and not just because of rollover or asphyxiation. It is dangerous because it is an environment that could trigger SIDS easily. Over 50% of all SIDS deaths are in adult beds. You can verify those statistics with a basic search in google or at http://www.firstcandle.org. http://www.sids-network.org, http://www.sids.org. The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend co sleeping but rather room sharing. A bed in the same room as an adult for the first six months.
The real kicker is that by not co sleeping you can completely eliminate the risk of asphyxiation or rollover (if you provide a safe sleep area) and you can significantly reduce the risk of SIDS. If a child with a brain stem abnormality was never presented with a trigger they could outgrow it.
Not all SIDS deaths happen in adult beds, children do die in their own cribs, in completely safe sleep areas. SIDS is a real biological entity that cannot be prevented. But you can reduce the risk.
Why take the chance?
And then another minor point in comparison. After we lost our daughter we did have another son. I made the choice not to breastfeed him and to never co sleep with him. I chose not to breastfeed because I didn’t want to make cosleeping too convenient. From day one he slept in a separate safe sleep area in our room. The side effect of that was that he could put himself to sleep, had a regular bedtime and naptime, and I got “me time”.It set a standard for him to have a routine. He is still at two now a child who can soothe and occupy himself much better than any of my other children. It did add to his independence even as an infant. And for me it was the only choice I could make. The convenience and the “bonding” was not worth it. I will forever mourn the loss of my daughter. I will forever wonder and second guess my decision. And that bonding I was so fond of cost me a lifetime with her.
We have started a non profit organization sharing our story and trying to supply low income families with safe sleep areas. For more information you can check us out at http://www.naylenshope.com.

Danielle on

I have a 5 year old, soon to be 6 year old daughter. I always used to rock her to sleep at night when she was a baby and then placed her in her own crib for the night to sleep by herself. Approximately, around 1 year old, she wouldn’t let me rock her to sleep anymore, so I started laying down with her in our bed at night, she would fall asleep on my chest and then my husband would carry her over to her bed to sleep for the night and she would sleep in her bed all night by herself. To this day, at night, she still climbs in bed with me we snuggle together, read books, chat or watch tv. She eventually will fall asleep snuggling with me and my husband will pick her up and carry her over to her bed to sleep for the night. Some friends have given me a hard time about not just letting her go to sleep by herself. But, you know what? I enjoy that time together I look forward to it, it’s a nice way to end the day with my “baby”. I always tell my friends, I surely won’t be sleeping with her in bed when she’s sixteen, so get over it. It’s what we both enjoy and it’s what’s right for us. Only you can make the decision that’s right for you and Mason.

dana on

i would have had Hayden sleep with us but my fiance insisted that our bed be our bed and his bed be his bed. at first i wasn’t into it but now Hayden just turned two and at 8pm i can say “ready to go nite nite?” and he will walk in his bedroom, turn his lullaby cd on and try to climb in his crib. he sits and plays with his pacifiers for a while and goes to sleep and sleeps 12 hrs. i think that was the best thing we did for our relationship, giving him a set bedtime. that gave us time to be together and still be a couple.

when friends that are having babies ask me for advice that is only advice i give. i think everyone has to do what works for them and this really worked for us.

Melissa on

I had a baby 9 weeks ago and I have been so interested in reading your blogs. I have struggled with the same dilemma of co-sleeping versus a crib. When my baby came home I could not bring myself to put him in another room by himself and try to let him cry it out. I am breastfeeding, so the most natural thing was for him to sleep in our room. He did not like his bassinet, so he ended up with me in the bed. I have found it to be a great experience, although I find myself defending it to several of my friends who have lived by the “Baby Wise” book. I want what is best for my son as well, and for right now, this is what I have decided. Mason is adorable!

heather on

Good for you. Don’t let “them” tell you what is right for your baby. Go with your gut. You can’t go wrong. I know I have let “them” tell what is right and I have regretted it. Co Sleeping and Breastfeeding for as long as possible is the way we chose to go and NO it didn’t get in the way of relationship with my man one bit. We have pleanty of babies to prove that.

Heather on

You are such a breath of fresh air, I’m so happy to read about your parenting, it’s so similar to my own! I don’t read too often about celebrity parents who breastfeed/cosleep so it’s great to read your blog entries!

I’m a firm believer of “do what works for your family and leave the rest” What works for some may not work for others. I cosleep with my 11 month old, and it has been amazing. Breastfeeding at night goes so much smoother I think when you co sleep!

Don’t let people get you down. I’m sure you let the negative stuff roll right off your back. Good for you, and thanks for being so open about all of this stuff, I’m sure it helps others out there who are doing the same thing to know “hey, celebrities are just like us!” sort of thing.

Yolanda on

Jennell I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am very happy to hear that you were able to move on and have another child. Every since my son died in 2004 I have been speaking to people about safe sleep some will not ever change their thoughts, only when it happens to you and you have to say goodbye forver do you look back and say “was it worth the risk”? You cannot heal death like any other boo boo a baby gets, I still have to ask, what is so wrong with a crib????

Roxanne on

Kourtney,

Every time I read your blog, I get a little teary. You are the epitome of what it means to “become a mother”. You are letting your natural maternal instinct guide you in caring for Mason. It is amazing to see this transformation happen in a woman. In my own personal life, I have seen it happen in both of my sisters and a close friend. I think it is incredible to see it happening in a public figure. You are setting a fabulous example for young mothers who may be inclined to listen to advice to ignore their instinct in favor of “convenience”. You know what? Babies are inconvenient! LOL But if we let them, they can teach us how to mother them in the most natural way possible.

Keep nursing Mason as long as you both want, and enjoy your time co-sleeping. And remember, attachment care-giving doesn’t have to end with infancy.

I was 17 when my first son was born. I nursed him, and we co-slept out of my desperation for a few hours of sleep. We went on to nurse until he stopped asking at about 24 months. We co-slept regularly until he was 4, when he asked for his own room.

Seven years later I had my second son. Of course we nursed, and this time I didn’t even bother to set up a crib. My younger son nursed for 60 months (Yes, haters, that’s FIVE years! LOL) and had his own bed at age 4, but didn’t use it every night until about age 5.

I don’t regret one bit that I made these attachment-promoting choices. You won’t either. Keep it up, you’re doing a phenomenal job. :)

Oh, and tell Kim that I agree that diaper changing should be done in the bathroom, but I nursed in public ALL. THE. TIME. and if I had seen someone giving me The Look I would only have uncovered more. LOL But I bet that with your great example to follow, Kim and all your other sisters will make superb choices as mothers. I am the oldest in my family, and nothing made me feel greater than my little sisters breastfeeding and attachment mothering and then telling me it was because of watching me and my sons.

co-sleepin' mama on

More babies die of SIDS in cribs than from co-sleeping with parents. This factor should have nothing to do with your decision. Listen to your heart and not irrelevant strangers.

Mia on

My daughter’s 23 now. She co-slept with us for the first two years and then, off and on for the next three. She had no trouble sleeping in her own bed, going to sleepaway camp or going off to college (she got her BA at 19!).

Do what’s best for you. Don’t worry about what other people think. Only you know what’s best for your baby and your family.

Anonymous on

Guess the health department must be wrong when it advises on the danger of co-sleeping as a large factor in infant death. But, ask my neighbor and they will tell you it isn’t worth it. If she had it to do over she would have never put her 8 month in bed with her. The child suffocated in the blankets one night.

Marianne on

Kourtney,

I think that is great what you are doing. Not everyone will agree with it, but do what feels right to you. This is your time with your son. It is not anyone else’s business but your own what you do with that precious little boy of yours.
Enjoy it while you can.

Pris on

I know a couple that did that and the mother accidentally rolled over onto the baby and caused his death. She will never be the same and she has to live with that for the rest of her life. Based on this alone I would say no. But also from my own experience. To sleep with them when they are angelic babies is delicious but soon come the toddler years where they kick have tantrums and it is not such a delicious experience anymore. Get him used to his own bed and try to find other ways to bond.

If you dont you will regret it.

Anonymous on

Always has the baby to sleep in the crib. You need alone time with your boyfriend/husband after a long day of work. Relationship takes lots of work, having a baby in between you two ain’t gonna help. I know you love the baby and all..who doesn’t. But if you and your partner don’t exist together, then the ” family” don’t exist to the baby. That will hurt him more in the future..for sure!

Becky on

You seem to be really into being a mother, which I think is great. I also think you’ve made a great choice to follow your own instinct.

My son is 2.5 and slept in our room for a while, in a bassinnette. He slept better when we moved him to his own room around 8 weeks old. However, now at 2.5, he loves to nap with us or when we all cuddle in the big bed, and sometimes ends up in bed with us at night. I don’t mind; he’ll only be little once. I highly doubt I’ll look back on my life and wish that I’d had him sleep in his own bed every night! I’m due with my 2nd in October and plan to follow the same advice – my own instincts about what my baby needs.

As others have mentioned – the chest clip on that baby’s carseat needs to be moved up to armpit level. Also, please do consider extended rear facing for your son; my son is 2.5 and still rear facing, and the AAP now recommends leaving your kids rear facing to at least two, and preferably to the limits of the carseat! :)

Just my $0.02. Your son is gorgeous.

Amanda on

I have 6 month old as well, I still nurse at night. After I get home from work, and bedtime. I am only in favor or co- sleeping for that reason. I have a 13yr old and 12 yr old and did the same thing. After night time feedings have gone to just one, then I move them into there crib in Another Room. I love my time with my daughter, however daddy and mommy need to get back to having a normal sleep cycle as well. For Heath, Sanity and Alone time.

Janice on

My daughter is 25 she co-slept from the hospitalwhere she slept through the night every night to when she was weaned at 2.5 there were no terriable twos no horriable teenage years we snuggled every night in my bed until she was 18 and about to be married and she went to her own room with her own bed never had a crib.shes now a mom with a 2y/o who co-slept but now shes in her own bed its natural.and now when she vists me at bedtime we still snuggle the three of us plus her daddy of course.

gael on

My son is five. We co-slept until he was two. Today he has his own bed. Several times a week he will wake up around 2am and wander into my room. One day our co-sleeping days will come to an end. Sadly.
I admit though we were very concerned about safety. I always tossed out the pillows until he was two or so and slept lightly never drinking or taking medications I thought would cause me to sleep deeply.

Katie on

Kourt,

Souonds like Mason has a wonderful Mommy. What a lucky little guy. Both of my children – Mia, 4 and Caulan, 8 slept with us exclusively for the first 2 years. Around age 2 we began to discuss with them the possibility of moving to their own bed. We made it a “project”. Let them pick out what kind of bed and bedding they wanted and made a really big deal about what a “big kid” move it was for them. Of course all children are different. My little girl was independent and the move was easy. My son was a little more Mommy attached, as many boys are and he took a little more convincing. For those first few months I would stay in his room until he fell asleep. (I think this also helped me make the transition actually.) But both are great independent sleepers now. They do wind up in our bed now and then (thunderstorms, bad dreams, etc.), but I am so glad that they feel comfortable about coming into our bed when they need comfort. Good luck and have fun with that beautiful boy. And no matter what you should do what is in your heart. Every Mommy knows what is best for her baby.

Danielle on

My son slept with my until he was four, and I looked forward to laying with him everynight! He used to fall asleep playing with my hair, it was so sweet! There is nothing wrong with it!!!

jams on

A friend of mine buried his 1 month old grandson a week ago. Cause of death: accidental suffocation while in bed with the parents. So, so sad and so, so preventable. They are both loving responsible parents who made a mistake that they will have to live with for the rest of their lives. Please think about this and research how often this occurs before you start this habit. This happens more often than you think. It also occurs when parents fall asleep on the sofa and the baby becomes trapped between the cushions. I know it’s tempting to do this, but the safety of your baby must come first.

Shannon on

I had it all planned out-I was going to let our babies sleep in their cribs, cry themselves to sleep, and be the tough love mom. We brought our Sophie home a few hours after she was born (I wanted a home birth but who wants the clean up! We left as soon as the baby was born and I caught a shower.) and as I went to place her in the crib my husband took me to task. “You would NEVER let a baby animal sleep alone or cry themselves to sleep! What are you doing?!” It became crystal clear right away, and we gave away the crib a few days later.

Both of our daughters slept with us from birth through about 18 months to a year and neither had any issue about moving to a bed in their own room. They now sleep together like little rolling kicking puppies and it is so sweet!

Every mom makes their own choices, and everyone else is out there to tell you their opinion or how you are doing everything wrong. You seem like a truly organic mom, one who takes cues from her baby and is just so in touch with what works for you. Sorry you have to do it in the limelight, but every mom gets an earful from everywhere! Chin up and love that baby!

And breastfeeding? Google secret extended breast feeding! You are still way in the normal range. My 1st quit me at 14 months and my second, who turns three this September, call the boob her best friend-she is limited to morning and night, but come on-this is going to rank VERY low on my list of worries when my daughters are in their teens and late for curfew! Each kid is different and some are lucky enough to have mom’s who can run with nature rather than the latest book.

I love watching how you love your baby-keep up the hard work!

eric on

My ex wife slept with my daughter who is 6 1/2 every night and still does. She called it attached parenting, I called it detached parenting. Psychiatrists call it Post Partum Psychosis and it destroyed our marriage.

Jules on

We are having the exact same delimma with our 9-month old daughter Stella – she has co-slept with us since she was born – first in a Snuggle Nest co-sleeper between her father and I and then in an Arm’s Reach co-sleeper next to me. She was very easy and would sleep all night without waking up to nurse once – 12 hours usually! Whe she started being able to flip over and crawl at 6 months that began disturbing her sleep and she would roll over and wake up but I was usually able to put her back to sleep with the breast. Then at 8 months she began pulling up in the co-sleeper and wanting to play – she wakes up at midnight and 4 now and it is really hard to get her back to sleep! I really LOVE being so close to her and I firmly believe in all the benefits of co-sleeping but EVERY mother I talk to tells me that moving her into her own room in her crib will stop all the night waking and that we will all get a lot more sleep. I am going to try the transition this weekend. I am very sad about moving her out of our bed. I think that every child is different and if you and baby are getting enough sleep co-sleeping keep it up girl! But be ready to re-think the idea if your baby starts having sleep problems as he gets older.

Julie on

As appealing as the idea is (it does seem like a very wonderful and natural experience), I dont think it is a good one.
I used to work at a Medical Examiner’s office and during my 9 months there we saw quite a few infants who had died from suffocation when a parent accidentally rolled onto them. It doesnt take much to suffocate a small baby. Sometimes it was because the parents didnt notice the baby sleeping in a bad position, which can usually be avoided when they are alone in a crib. The doctors that I worked with constantly complained about mothers who let their infants sleep with them. I think this really depends on the age of the child. Once they become toddlers I dont think this is very likely to happen. Another reason is that children can adjust better and become more independant if they are used to sleeping in their own beds.

Christina on

My daughter went into her crib at 6 months. I continued to breastfeed her, but I needed her in her crib. It was tough for the first several days, but it was so worth it. Now she is 3 1/2 and loves her bed. Sometimes I find her cuddled around me. She sneaks in during the early morning hours, but those are rare.

You know what’s best for you, but your friends are right, the sooner you put him in his bed, the better for everyone.

good luck!
Christina

carrie on

I co-slept with all of my boys! By school age they are out of my bed. Right now my 3 year old starts off in his bed BUT ends up in mine by 4:30am. When they are sick they still climb into my bed. They slept all night from the start of sleeping in my bed. I found I slept better knowing I could here any cry or whine, cough or sneeze. I loved it… my husband hates it!!

Sara on

I have 5 kids – now 16,14,12,10 & 8. They all slept with us until the next one came along. When they are 2 you can actually talk to them about being a “big boy” and put them directly into a small bed. Some people may disagree, but our kids are very bonded with both of us and it is not uncommon to find them deciding to camp out in each others room for sleep as well. I guess it made them kind of hippies – but that is a open mind that I am proud of!

co-sleepin' mama on

The more you read the comments, the more bizarre the whole concept of this psuedo-“controversy” becomes.

To be honest, until my BFF had her own son and had success with him in his own crib, I thought those non-co-sleepers were horrible mothers.

I was wrong. It’s not neglectful.. it really is just whatever works.

co-sleepin' mama on

“Guess the health department must be wrong when it advises on the danger of co-sleeping”

Not the people who brought us involuntary flouride! What gave it away?

Renee Chapman on

Kourtney,
Both my girls slept through the night by one month of age. My eldest daughter is 8 she was in her own crib in my room until 6 months old. Then, we jacked up the baby monitor when I moved her into her own bedroom. I am not saying their haven’t been times when she slept in the bed with myself and my husband but we set boundaries with her. My youngest daughter is 2 and I was a little more paranoid with her as she would sometimes choke on her spit-up. She slept in my room whether in my bed or next to it in a playpen (rolled in linens of course and comfortable)until over a year old. BTW…for my second kid I refused to put her in a crib because they are dangerous. My eldest got her leg stuck in one and was crawling out of it…no joke. My girls love sleeping in my bed and I never have trouble getting them out of my room when I want alone time. Just set boundaries when Mason gets old enough to comprehend. Just keep the bed safe, no pillows… like you have been doing is fine. Make sure he is in the middle. Do you actually read all these responses?! Geez…you have to be a speed reader by now.

Denesha on

in my opinion: I have 3 kids and all of them from day one slept in there beds. They are 9, 6 and 11 months. They sleep from 8:30-7:00 am. My little son goes to bed at 7:30 sleep til 8 am. And takes 2 naps aday and my oldest take a nap daily. But,I did all the research on both ways. Co sleeping or crib only. Talked to friends also. We chose crib only. You have to remember what will happen in the future when you want that alone time with your husband and when your child is too old to sleep with you. The older they get the harder it will be to get them to sleep in there own bed and room. Its easier to break habits (cosleeping) when they are younger they don’t remember as much. Also I was told you want to raise healthy sleepers. They need to learn how to fall asleep on there own. Mark my words when you try to get them to sleep in there own bed and they are able to run.. You will be chasing him down the hallway and he will be crying becuase now he has to stay in his own bed. Another research idea is the effects of a tired baby/child and how they will function? rest, sleep is very important to a baby/child. Especially with brain function and mobility. What did your mom do?

Phoenixmama on

Good for you Kourtney! You should do whatever feels right for you and your son, you know what’s best for him better than anyone else. I went through the same thing with my son Phoenix, everyone told me that I should put him to sleep in his crib, and that it’s a bad idea to let him get used to sleeping in my bed. But I know that the time I spend with my son sleeping in my arms is special for both of us, and like you, I look forward to that time. My son is 10 months old now and we’re super-bonded, plus he takes all his naps in his crib with no problems. Keep up the great work, your son is beautiful!

Tracy on

My son usually falls asleep in his car seat or in my arms. Once he’s asleep then I move him to his crib. Then I go to bed and get a few hours of really good sleep. When he wakes up I bring him to the bed. I think he will eventually go all night in the crib but until then the time we have together in the bed is the time that I think we do some of our best bonding.

new mama on

Kourtney, we have a good system- first we had the arm’s reach co sleeper- the sleigh bed version
And now a sidecarred crib. Google sidecarring a crib or sidecarred crib. (it is v easy )

T- on

My daughter is 9-1/2. She slept with me for many years. We are very very close. Sleep with you baby until you are comfortable or until the litte arms, legs and feet become a problem! Its not that hard to transition them back to the bed.

Dr. Ray Miller on

- co-sleepin’ mama, my time with “pharma” reps has nothing to do with babies who are accidently smothered by their parents. I do believe in survival of the fitest and a parent dumb enough to sleep with an infant…

Yolanda on

Dear co-sleepin’ mama
You have your opinion and your experience and that is great for you. I do not see any reason that you have to make negative comments to every medical professional and “irrelevant strangers yes it is up to every individual what they want to do. It is also very important for every parent to do their homework before they make their decisions. You commented that more babies die in cribs of SIDS then in beds that is because a bed sharing death is not classified as SIDS (and I should know I buried my son). So please keep your negative comments to yourself, it is very hurtful and a slap in the face to all of us mothers that had the sad task of holding our lifeless babes.

Miranda on

I agree with most that it is all about what works for you and your baby. My first born was (and still is at age 4) a huge fan of sleeping with mom and dad/crawling into bed with us at night. My second (at a year) prefers her crib, and when we try to lay her in bed with us she clearly isn’t comfortable. There are actually studies showing that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS, and it’s what the earliest humans naturally did. My only concern is that I’m getting more special time with my oldest daughter since my youngest isn’t interested…I’d appreciate any input on this from other moms as well!

Kiki on

Do what you think is best, you are his mother and only you can decide what works for both of you. I co-slept with my daughter for one year until I night weaned her. It was a rough two weeks while I weaned and taught her to sleep on her own in her crib (I slept on a mattress on the floor in her room during the transition). Co-sleeping wasn’t popular with anyone in my family but it was the right thing for us and I wouldn’t have traded any of it. Today my daughter is four and she puts herself to sleep in her own bed and sleeps through the night. Truth be told, I’m a little sad she’s become so independent.

Brianna on

Kourtney, the best thing to do is to allow him to sleep in his crib for security reasons. God forbid you roll over on him.

Melissa on

Regarding the SIDS and “You might roll over on him” comments…

I have been co-sleeping (safely!) with my son since he was a newborn. He is now 19 months old. Please, Kourtney, don’t listen to the commenters who say co-sleeping is dangerous with no information or statistics to back up their claims!

Go to this site: http://mothering.com/sleep and please read through some of the wonderful articles on co-sleeping, complete with research, statistics, and safety information.

I love your blog posts! And yes, follow your instinct. That is all we can do at the end of the day as mothers! :)

xo Melissa

Suzanne on

I had a c-section so when my daughter came home with me she slept in a co-sleeping bassinet which was attached to the mattress. She slept in bed with me and I nursed her all night, and then just half the night after a year old, until she was 18 months old. At that point I wanted my bed and breasts back! Also, she wasn’t too big to be able to get out of her crib, so it’s good not to wait until their too old or else they could fall out of their crib. She cried for about an hour and fell asleep on her own, and slept all night. She is a wonderful sleeper and has excellent health, and I’m so glad we got to share such a wonderful bonding experience!

julie on

Western society is the only one that puts babies in little cages at night. I slept with both my kids and nursed them exclusively. They are now both healthy, independent and intelligent children. I followed my instincts as a mother and I wouldn’t change a thing. I fully support her decision.

Jessica on

I co-slept with my oldest until she was around 5 and there are still nights she crawls in my bed. I currently co-sleep with my 3 yr old twins and they (nor I) wouldnt have it any other way. I think you have to do what is best for you and Mason. I wouldnt say I recommend it but I certainly wouldn’t frown upon it. Good luck with whatever you choose.

Lori on

Co-sleeping may be something that a parent enjoys, but why would anyone be so selfish and partake in an activity that could put your baby in grave danger. Even if you don’t roll on your baby, the baby could smother in the pillows. My pediatrician told me a story today about a patient who recently smothered her baby while co-sleeping. How could you live with your self if you ever harmed your baby?

Christa on

My daughter sleeps with me. She is 10 months and has slept with me since she was 7mths.I cherish this time with her soon she will be big and will want to be independent.I think it is so natural to keep your young close we are the only speices that as soon as the baby is born we put them in another room. This is just my opinion and I have heard many but my husband and I decided this is what we want for us and our child. I love being so close with her and she is a wonderful sleeper.

Felicia on

I’m a big fan of co-sleeping. I am a mother of 3 and each time I say I won’t do it but I feel better knowing my baby is beside me. I can’t say it’s always been easy to get them out of the bed when it was time to move to the “big kid” bed but I wouldn’t change it regardless. My 4 yr old still joins us in the bed from time to time if he has a bad dream but goes to bed in his room. You do what you feel is best for you and Mason. You are his Mommy, you know whats best.

Misty on

I tried to whole co-sleeping thing with all three of my children. After my second son was born my 2 1/2 year old would not sleep in his bed because the baby was in mine. When they were 5 and 3 they finally slept in their own bed and shared a room. When my daughter was born I told myself I was not doing that again. So she started sleeping in a bassinet by my bed. That was until she was three months old and I had a terrible things happen where a friend of mine’s little girl who was 6 months old passed away in my arms after she stopped breathing and I gave her CPR. The doctors said it was a valve in her heart that closed off and was undetected at birth. To me that is the worst feeling ever and will always remain with me. So then I was scared of my daughter being away from me so I put her in my bed with no pillows and no blankets. She is now almost 6 and refuses to sleep in her own bed. I think it is up to the parent and how they feel about their children being in their bed and having to share. Personally if I had another child they would sleep in med because then I know they are fine and I can hear them breathing all the time.

Lynda on

Kourtney, You have the most beautiful baby boy!

JC on

My son who is 19 months has been sleeping in our room since birth. He had a lot of health and reflux issues so being close to us made it easier. Finally we put 2 queen beds together so he has a bed and we have one. That way he is close to us and we have our own bed. Try that. I have found he sleeps better now on his own when he has more room.

Lara on

I have my two boys in bed with me right now! theyre 4 and 1, and although theyll both sleep through the night just fine in their own beds, we all sleep more restfully when were together. Its a good idea to get them used to the crib/ bed so that when you want your privacy or go out and leave them with a sitter, its not a traumatic expierience for them, but theres nothing better than a night of snuggling with your babies, in my opinion!

Tabatha on

I am the mother of 6 kids. My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 7. All of them slept with me. Some lasted longer than others. It just depends on the child and your instincts. I loved having them in the bed with me especially while breast feeding. For me it was so much easier. I am glad I did it. You need to go with what YOU FEEL as his mother. Just because he is your first doesn’t mean you don’t know what is right for your family. Instincts are an amazing gift that we mothers have. Enjoy every single minute of having him to yourself because he will be grown before you know it. So, I say keep him in your bed and smother him with kisses and love.

zori on

Hi, I normally never write comments in these things but here’s my 2 cents. Do what you feel is right. No one but no one knows what’s best for their child than a child’s mother. My daughter slept in my bed with me until she was 5, yes five. And she is the most independent, nicest, responsible and well behaved child that people in school and in our neighborhood make it a point to tell me so. It’s about how you raise your child, the rest is other’s opinions.

Marisa on

This is in regards to all those who are worried about, have experienced or know someone who has experienced SIDS. SIDS happens whether in a crib or in a shared bed. It often has nothing to do with suffocation. If you vaccinate, you are putting your baby at risk of SIDS no matter where he sleeps. E-mail me at MarisaG17@hotmail.com if you want more info.

Cindi on

I too slept with both my children when they were babies. Mostly because of breastfeeding. The horror stories you hear are from heavy sleepers or people on meds that make them extremely drowsy and from people who maybe had too much to drink that night. But, amazingly, your body stays alert and so did my husbands. We did have issues getting my daughter into her crib later, but not my son. Same amount of time cosleeping for both, so I would say , getting them into their bed might be more about their own personalities…But, I’m no expert, just a mom, who can honestly say I miss sleeping with my babies. They will be out of the house soon enough, enjoy every moment, and follow your heart always!

Blanka on

I love co sleeping with my son, when my spouce styarted protesting Igot him a double bed that we can both sleep in, while I am the ONLY one in my cycle pf friends with kids who advocatee co-sleeping, I stongly believe that any argument aganst it is bogus!!! My son who just turned 2 is starting to fall asleep by himself and UI trully do not understand parents lettinf their tiny ones cry themselves to sleep…. just like ORPHANS!!!

my job as I see it is to BE THERE for my son when he needs me cuz soon enough last thing he will want is to sleep with his moma lol

happy to read that there are many momas just like me ;)

Jessika on

I think co-sleeping is terrific! And honestly I think there is nothing wrong with it. My son is almost 18 months , and has slept in bed with me since he was born. I remember in the hospital when the nurses came in all freaked out because I was holding him while we both slept. I held him in my arms and slept with him until he was about 6 months old, and he would squirm around to have his own place in the bed. So now he has his own little pillow and spot on the bed.(I am a single mom, so I guess it makes it easier not having to worry about 2 people potentially squishing him.) All in all, I would not change it for the world, it has been the best bonding, and makes for silly sleepy play time in the morning ensuring we both wake up in good moods :)

Bren on

Wow, buckle your baby correctly!

Talor on

Kourtney,
I have read alot of your comments, not all of course, and I hope you read this one. I did not let my son, who is 1 now, sleep with us because of the dangers of rolling over on him and sufficating him. Obviously, this isnt a worry anymore because Mason is big enough for you to know when you roll over and feel him. I napped with him on the couch, but that was about it. It happens alot, rolling over and sufficating the baby. So in the future if you have more, just be careful with that. I treasured every moment I spent with him on the couch though, so I know how you feel, it is the best time. But I also lost my sons twin brother at birth so I was VERY protective of him and thats why I didnt sleep with him in my bed. So just some advice from a different perspective. Good Luck, I love watching you guys!!

baby lover! on

Growing up, my mom had always put us kids to sleep in her bed. There was NEVER a crib. I think that if you’re a good parent, transitioning your child to your bed to their own wont be that hard.

It just really depends on the parents. If the child is neaty and the parents are non-assertive (too loving instead of “tough love”) then of course their child will cling onto them longer than they’re suppose to!

I don’t understand what the controversy with babies sleeping in their parent’s bed is really about..hmm, I guess ill have to ask around or google it! :)

Mason is such a cute baby :D

Candice on

My first 2, now 15 and 16 years old, slept with us for around 9 months each because I breastfed and it was so much easier and they did fine when switching to cribs and big beds. My 3rd, now 10 years old, woke up every time either of us moved so he slept a lot better in his crib.
Whatever you do, just enjoy the time you have with Mason, he’ll be grown before you know it! :)

Meghan on

I think it depends on what you want to get out of it, and what’s more important to you and Scott in the long run. Is the time spent bonding with him more important to you than having him be a well-rested, pleasant baby during his time awake? He may seem well-rested now, but in the long-run, that will go away if you keep him in your bed at night much longer. But the bonding with him may be more important to you. My advice: see if you can come up with another creative way to spend quality time with him that lends itself to good bonding, and then gradually move him over to sleeping in his own crib. He’ll be a happy little guy when he’s awake for you having done that, and then your time spent during waking hours together will be quality, because he won’t be super fussy, but rather a fun and happy little guy.

JENNIFER on

My son Blake was born on December 8 so he is a few days older than Mason. Blake NEVER sleeps in the bed with us because I read that it was one of the causes of sids. I’ve known of several babies in my area who have died of sids and it just terrifies me to no limit worrying that one day I may wake up and find my baby not breathing. Blake is the most amazing blessing in my life and I love spending all the time i can with him. Maybe when he gets bigger I wouldnt mind him sleeping in the same bed with us every once in a while..but right now it scares me. I’m not saying that doing it while they are young is wrong at all…Just like all babies…every mother is different as well! Mason is beautiful and I hope you guys have an amazing time with your bundle of joy

Rachel on

Oh my gosh! I actually did the exact same thing when my son (now 21 months) was home from the hospital. We had a co-sleeper set up right next to the bed (so it was separate like a bassinet, but still a part of the bed). My son Andrew would have nothing to do with it. He would only sleep in our bed, or in his car seat. Eventually when we bought a baby swing, he would sleep in that as well. I started out just holding my son for the first 8 weeks of his life (even while we slept, so I slept sitting up). That started getting too tiring, and I wasn’t really getting any sleep, so I finally laid him in the bed next to me (I was breastfeeding at the time, and still am actually). I would say put a tiny little pillow under the baby’s head or make sure he can move his head so it doesn’t start to get a dent on one side (from sleeping on one side for too long). It does definitely make it that much harder for baby to fall asleep on his own, but let’s be realistic: you do anything you can that first year to be able to have a decent night’s sleep! My husband and I tried getting Andrew to sleep in a crib (even trying the Ferber method) and I just could not stand to listen to him in hysterics because he couldn’t fall asleep by himself. Dr. William Sears actually recommends co-sleeping for the first year or so, so I would actually read his advice on the topic. I chose co-sleeping with my son for the closeness it provides, and the ease with breastfeeding. Now at 21 months, my son takes naps in a pack n’ play and sleeps in bed with us at night (and is now down to one feeding at night)! It does get easier, and I would say weigh the pros and cons of each situation, then decide what’s best. What is best for one mom isn’t right for another. But for me, co-sleeping worked out the best for our family. Now if only I could get Andrew to stop saying “booby” when he’s tired if we’re at a restaurant! :)

jennifer on

you have all the advice you need so i wanted to say mason is so adorable! to me he looks alot like robert. you’re doing a great job mama!

chelsey on

Our first daughter slept with us until one month before our second daughter was born. Then we moved her to a big girl bed, she was 2. Problem was our oldest still wanted someone to sleep with her, so for a year my husband and I played musical beds. I agree I love the special bond you have with your little ones, but it is hard to get them to transition to sleep on there own. Now that our youngest is almost 2 she is sleeping with her sister, so my husband and I have our bedroom back!!!

Audrey on

I never had my son sleep with me and my husband in bed. I just felt that it was unsafe and that it would be very hard for him/us to stop the habit. I want that to be my husband’s and my space for us.

Bonnie on

I think that co-sleeping is great for bonding, but it is also a safety issue. As a nurse I have seen too many freak accidents with parents sleeping with their babies: one rolls over in the middle of the night and accidentally crushes the child. Not worth it to me.

Jen on

RE: KATTIE

You said:

“Also, that chest clip needs to be moved up to armpit level and he shouldn’t be sleeping in his car seat unless you are in the car.”
– Kattie on June 29th, 2010

Do you really think your comment is necessary? First of all, you have no idea if the clip was moved to take a better picture while the car was stopped, or if he wasn’t even in a car to begin with?? And mind your own business about whether or not YOU THINK babies should not sleep in a car seat unless you are in the car? There are many articles and research that both agree with your comment, and disagree with your comment, pretty much just like everything else. Your comment was bitchy and unsolicited, so keep it to yourself, as I doubt you know what is best for most children just b/c you read an article on the web.
Have a great day searching the web to see how many people you can offer your unsolicited, ignorant advice to.

mya on

I can’t begin to tell you how many people tell me I need to get my son out of our bed!!! I smile and say he’s sleeping with us not you!!! My son will be 5 in october and he still sleeps right in the middle of mommy and daddy and I LOVE it!! I know he is safe, I know God forbid something happens we are all together… And this is the most independant loving boy you will ever meet. He has had beautiful bedrooms whether it was his nursery to his toddler bed, to now his big boy room!!! I enjoy decorating!!! LOL I travel and I remember my husband would sleep on the floor of my sons nursery to get him to sleep in his crib… and as soon as I came home he was back in bed with me…… My husband was never fond of it, but he has respected what I wanted and he knows that he will be in bed when he gets home… That was the other issue he doesn’t get home until 2 am , so the baby went right into bed with me!!!

And yes everyone said oh what kind of sex life are you gonna have…. a good one!!! we recently welcomed a baby girl she will soon be 5 months, she is in a co-sleeper, I wish they made a bed bigger than a california king, because I would have it, yes my daughter naps in her beautiful nursery, but she sleeps right next to me…. Everyone told me oh you wait when the baby comes your son is going to be soooo jealous because he sleeps with you guys and has all of your attention…. My son absolutely LOVES his sister it is by far the cutest thing in the world and he knows that when his baby sister needs something he will wait for her to be done.

It is also proven that children that sleep with there parents are more loving as adults and most of the serial killers were children that were left to fend on their own, like letting them cry for hours and thinking they are helpless children….

George Lopez once said he will never kick his kids out of his bed because one day you will wake up and they will be on their way to college!!!! kids grow up fast…..

So kourtney do as your heart tells you to do….. these babies are only babies once!!! Good Luck your son resembles my daughter its so funny!!!

Molly D on

Hi Kourtney :D

My now 3 year old daughter co-slept with us until we brought her sister home from the hospital at 2.5 years. My 3 year old sleeps in her own toddler bed in our room. She has no problems going to sleep on her own. I nursed my 3 year old until she was 19 months. She is a solid sleeper~12 hours yeah :D
My second daughter is 11 months old. She co-sleeps with us as well.
One choice won’t fit every parent. You are doing great~don’t worry about what other people say; everything works out in the end.

RJM on

Both of our kids slept with us. They left our bed when they were ready to sleep on their own. They are now 18 and 22 years old and happy, confident, self assured and not sleeping with Mom and Dad. I loved the time spent with them. And one plus for us here in earthquake country…. When the Northridge earthquake hit, we did not have to run across the house to make sure they were safe. They were safe in bed with us.

DG on

My daughter shared our bed for many years…Hubby traveled and she was always by my side. Other times she was right between us and we both agreed “what could be more wonderful and beautiful than waking up to that perfect little beautiful face” first thing in the morning and cuddling. We Both came from large families and having 11 siblings, there was always one roaming around looking to get into bed with my parents and they were always welcome with loving arms. It was my beautiful Mother that would finally get up when the bed was full, and sneak into one of the older one’s beds. I still remember feeling so loved and special when she would sneak in with me! Wishing you everything wonderful.

Katie on

Courtney said:
“To each their own. I thankfully had a baby that slept peacefully in his bed from the day he was born. People say co-sleeping is safe and they make the bed safe for their babies and they don’t think that anything bad will happen to their child. In my opinion you can not make co-sleeping as safe as a crib. That’s why there are standards for cribs.”

Have you seen how many cribs have been recalled lately? Children have gotten stuck and even died from these cribs.

Do what is best for you and your baby. Co-sleeping can lower the risk of SIDS because you are helping your baby regulate his breathing and heart-rate.

As long as you haven’t taken any sleeping pills or been drinking your body is aware of your baby sleeping beside you.

Monica on

My babys 8 mnths old, i started to get him to distinguish day & night as soon as he turned 3 wks old, which helped later on in the process…anyhow, he slept in his bassinet as well, and till this day he sleeps in his own bed in his own room. I am a firm believer of teaching them who is whos bed, but I dont see a harm in having baby sleep with you once in a while. I know sometimes I just miss him and in the middle of the night I just get him and put him next to me. Hope this helps, God bless you and baby!

gaylee on

I swear, Mason is adorable.. But he looks like a lil Rob, or your Dad!!

Ang from PA on

It all depends. Since you are breast feeding, I would say let him sleep with you until you are done. That’s what my friend did. I personally didn’t co-sleep because I roll too much, so I wanted to be safe. My son wouldn’t sleep in my bed. He knew which was his and what wasn’t. Best thing to do is more his crib in your room and try it. If he likes it, more it out but still close enough in case have to more it back. And slow you will have him back in his only room in his crib. Good luck and you are doing a great job. Glad to see you are taking more interest in feeding Mason and stopped drinking. Now to get Scott to stop drinking. That isn’t safe around Mason. Scott to get together with AA,if not for himself for Mason.

Rita on

I, like you and many others, would have never thought to co-sleep with my baby until becoming a mother. I’m not against co-sleeping but I chose to have my son, Kingan, in a basinet in our room until 2 months old. Then, it was off to his own bed. I didn’t plan on him sleeping in his crib so soon but he was so loud, he was keeping my husband and I awake with his sleep noises (grunting etc..). He now sleeps a very sound 12 hours straight through the night.
Only you know your baby and can make the right choices for him. He looks happy and heathy to me so keep up the fab mommy-ing!

Joann on

Another way to go from this momma! I too didn’t want my son to sleep in bed with my husband and I as I thought we would possibly roll over and hurt him. So when he first came home from the hospital he would sleep in his crib, but, living in MN means cold winters. So he wouldn’t sleep in his crib since it was cold. So from then on we kept him in bed with us, which made him feel safe and could go back to sleep. You Rock Kourtney, keep up the good work!

Kara on

They are only young once…..they grow up sooooo fast! He will eventually want nothing to do with sleeping in your bed or cuddling with you at night. Enjoy this time with him because one day when you are waiting for him to come home late at night after being out with his friends you will wish you had this time back:-) Don’t worry about the future just cuddle him and love him now:-)

coco on

Read “The Family Bed: An Age Old Concept in Child Rearing”.
Kourtney, you are doing the right thing and when Mason is ready, he will find his own bed!! Keep bonding with that baby!!!

Donna Ray on

Your little one is so sweet and adorable. My kids are now 12 & 8 and have always slept in their own beds. Even when my 12 yo had colic he slept in his own bed. My daughter had reflux and had to sleep with her crib at an angle and up right. It was pretty beneficial because now they just go to their rooms crawl into their beds when they are tired and go to sleep. They both have done that since they were toddlers. I have never had to fight them to go to their rooms and get into the bed to sleep. Good luck and whatever you do it will be the right thing for you and that is all that matters.

momma on

I think each child is so different, and that being said, you never know how they are going to react. My first son never wanted to sleep in our bed, however at 3years old now, he always wants to sleep with us. Our youngest is 11mos. and he sleeps in our room (in his own bed) and we all sleep fine. I love that he is right there and I can always look over at him when ever I want. I don’t think you can predict whether or not your children will have trouble sleeping in their bed later. If you love sleeping with Mason, then sleep with him! You are his mommy and if you both love that time enjoy it, he is going too grow up so fast.

Shantece on

I co-slept with both of my children. My daughter just turned 3 in March and sleeps on her own in her own bed. Although she loves sleeping with mommy and daddy she feels like a “big girl” in her bed and she loves it! I love cuddling up to my little man (2yr old son) after a long day. I like knowing my baby feels safe, warm, and loved.

Amy on

I agree. Do whatever feels right and natural to you. My son (who is almost 3) sleeps with us. People have said it makes children clingy but I found just the opposite. I find that he gets mommy/daddy time in bed, he doesn’t need it as much during the day and is more independent. I recommend the site http://www.askdrsears.com :) You are doing great!

jessica on

Co-sleeping mama here as well ! My son just turned a year, and sleeps next to me every night. Those who try to scare you off with SIDS stories, or tell you that he’ll never want to sleep on his own are wrong. SIDS happens when an infant suddenly stops breathing, which is different than suffocation. Isn’t it intersting that in the US, we have one of the highest SIDS rates, and we predominately use cribs, versus other countries were SIDS is low/non-existant and sleep sharing is the norm ?

I think it’s very natural to want to be close to your baby. Trust your intuition. It sounds like you’re an amazing mama, and I applaud you for being one of the few celebrities to publicly talk about breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Such a breath of fresh air from the usual bottle/nanny standard !

Susan Andree on

I never thought that I would have my son sleeping with my husband and I but we did. The first few weeks after my son was born I was getting really exhausted constantly getting up to breastfeed, etc. I finally moved him into bed with him and I’m glad we did. It was wonderful to bond with his even more and I watch his every move. I especially remember my son waking up in the morning and looking around until he saw me and then he would give me a huge smile. I breastfed until my son was 27 months. I then decided that he needed to move to his own bedroom. We put a double bed in his room with bed rails in it and I changed the decor. He was so excited and wanted to sleep in there right away. I did spend a few nights in his room initially putting him to sleep but each night grew shorter and shorter for me. He is now almost four years old and sleeps by himself. He is though such a friendly, affectionate, sweet little boy which I credit a lot to the fact that we had such a close relationship with early on that just grew.

chell on

It will be harder to break him from wanting to sleep with you the older he gets. You will experience the same anxiety that the baby feels, especially when you hear him cry. It took me 7 years to break my daughter. I started by putting a little bed in my room right beside me so I could touch her if she woke up. Then we transitioned her to her room. We would spend most of the night taking her back to her bed (this was the worst part). I would sleep in her room on an air mattress and she would wake up and look for me. I resorted to spending more time with her in the daytime in her room so that she would begin to enjoy her space and it worked. Best Wishes

MM on

I slept with both my kids and they are fine and everyone said I’d never get them out of the bed…well they are teens now and I haven’t slept with them in years and years….PS: just make sure you don’t mix alcohol with sleeping with your baby….

Raven on

Dont listen to the American hype. Many other countries let their babies sleep with them. My kids didnt want their own bedroom til they were in 8th grade. They used to sneak in my room and sleep on the floor. I thought it was beautiful. Yes, they are in their own rooms now but I miss the days that they loved to hop in. Listening to them sleep often helped me to sleep and to look at them at night, and see that they were safe was important to me. They grow up fast and the sweetness of them being dependent on us goes away especially when they are teenagers, haha.

Sue on

We have co-slept with 3 of our 4 kiddo’s and you’re absolutely right – the bond between you and your child is brought to an even higher level when you co-sleep. I wish we had the opportunity to go back and co-sleep with our oldest when she was a baby (which is what we felt was the right thing to do, but let ‘experts’ talk us out of it).

Our middle 2 children slept in our bed until they were about 3 or so, but really each child is different and he’ll let you know when he’s ready for his own bed. In the meantime, enjoy every minute of it. Our youngest will be 1 this month and we don’t even own a crib for her. And she’s the happiest baby out of the bunch…hmm…wonder if that is a coincidence or not? :-)

I think you’re doing an awesome job as a first time mom. Follow your instincts – you were made to be a mom! <3

Mandi on

My husband & I made the decision to keep my daughter in our room when we first brought her home from the hospital. We couldn’t afford a crib, so she slept in her pack & play next to us. I had a c-section & was breastfeeding so when my daughter would wake up for the midnight feedings, he would get up, change her diaper, then hand her to me. I would lay on my side, plop a pillow under her & let her nurse herself back to sleep, & she would be in bed with us for the rest of the night. I always started her in her own bed. I was only able to breastfeed for 5 1/2 mos, & by the time she was 6 months hubby felt she was old enough to go into her own room. The transition was harder for me than it was for her. She’s 20 mos old now & loves sleeping by herself. She loves to cuddle, but she can’t share a bed because she moves around so much. I keep a radio on for her, so she has some background noise & is really good at putting herself to sleep. She’s still sleeping in her pack & play too which makes it easy when we travel, her bed goes with her. It’s familiar & comfortable for her.

Mandi on

One other thing to consider is babywearing. Around the time I moved my daughter into her own room, around 6 mos, I bought an ergo babycarrier. I think it helped with bonding with my daughter after I finished breastfeeding & no longer co-slept with her. She was close, & I think it helped her become for secure & independant. It’s another option if you want to keep your baby close to you while transitioning them to their own bed. You can also use it while breastfeeding!

Melissa on

The CHEST clip in that picture is dangerously low! It needs to be at arm pit level. :-) Would hate for anything to happen to him because he wasn’t in his car seat correctly.

Karri on

My friend co-slept with her 1st child. They were unable to get him out of their bed until he was 5 and their 2nd child was born. Her and her husband had to be ummmmmm creative to find that special alone time. Sometimes they had that intimate alone time with their kid in the bed- while he was asleep! Just be careful how long you let Mason hang out in the bed.

nat on

Mason and I have the same birthday. We were both pregnant together, but my daughter was born in November. i uswed to let her sleep with me almost every night, until my husband came home from deployment. now she sleeps in her crib. it wasn’t as bad as people said it would be to transition her. so whatever works for you girl.

Melissa Hope Kaspszak on

I let my baby sleep with me I felt the same way. She is 7 yrs old now and I am fight to get her in her own bed. She crys every night. Not to mention what it does to your sex life, That might have a little to do with the divorce we R going through

Vanessa on

My daughter is two years old and since she was born there has only been 3 nights that she has stayed away from me (With her grandparents) and those are the only three nights that she has not sleep in our bed. I feel that she is safer in bed with me and I love the time that we spend cuddling before she goes to sleep and even during sleep. When the time is right we will work on getting her into her own bed, but for now, I don’t want to waste a single second of being with her.. she isn’t going to be little for long.

Hilda on

I have a 17 month old who has been sleeping with my and he father since the very begining, and she takes her naps in her crib. I’m starting the weaning process and I tend to see that the longer she goes without breastfeeding the more independant she becomes. All Babies are different so it is up to you and Mason’s needs.

Tracy K on

My husband and I co-slept with both of our children. Our girls are now 5 and 2, they both sleep in their own beds now. It was a positive experience for both of us, I breastfeed and it just made sense to us, the cuddle time was great too! My girls let us know when it was time to sleep on their own. My first left our bed at 1 1/2 and our second just a few months ago…sad at first but they love their new big girl beds when they get them! Mason is beautiful and you sound like you are doin an amazing job as a Mom…keep up the awesome job Kourt!!

Hayley on

I work in a Childrens Hospital and am always so sad when we have an infant come through, where he/she has suffocated by their parent in bed. No matter how many pillows, blankets etc.. you have in bed, it is never safe. It is devastating when this happens. There are many other ways to bond with your little one. You do know what your baby needs and I am sure you have the best intentions but please be safe. Many parents think it will never happen to them but I can attest it does happen. God bless.

savy on

hi,
I don’t think that having the baby sleep in the same bed with the mother is harmful. it creates a very strong bond between mother and child.When I had my last child who is 9 now, me and him slept in the same bed for six years. he is like any normal child his age , and i didn’t have a problem with him sleeping on his own. we have a very strong bond between us.

CISSY on

I have 3 boys now (ages 15 to 9) and I so understand that connection w/ your child as they sleep. I, too, breastfed my boys and having them sleep w/ you makes it so much easier for Mom and child. That’s from my own experience.
But, It does get hard to break them from sleeping in the same bed. My oldest son,when he was younger, would wake up every night anywhere between 12-2 and crawl into bed. But if it’s what you desire and what your motherly instincts tell you, then that’s what is best for you son!

Sadie on

I believe you have to read your child, some babies want to sleep on their own (in a crib) and sleep just perfectly! Other babies need their Mom’s and Dad’s to sleep next to them to get a good nap/good night sleep.

I have a 27 month old son who has never wanted to sleep on his own (away from me) I could never get him to sleep good or a long time in his crib but if he napped on me he would get a 2 -3 hour nap in, at night he would sleep 10 – 12 hours! He doesn’t need to sleep on me at nap time to get a good nap since he was about 18 months. But at night he still sleeps in bed with me.

If that is what is working for you and Mason then don’t listen to other people and do what is best for you guys! He will sleep on his own one day and not always need you right there next to him.

Susan on

The majority of the comments I read are very positive about co-sleeping, unfortunately I have to disagree. I have a family friend who lost a baby when she was cought inbetween the headboard and the mattress of her parents bed. I know that cribs are constantly getting recalled as well, but adult beds are made for adult bodies and have no regulations for infants and children. Putting your child in bed with you because it is easier to feed him/her is a selfish reason to co-sleep. As parents we should put our children’s safety first. It would be hard to bond with them if they are dead. Bonding can happen at any time and anywhere, not just in the bed at night. SAFETY FIRST. My three girls all slept in their own cribs/beds and we are still bonded forever. I have no regrets for not sleeping with them and am proud that I put their lives first and got up to feed them in the middle of the night no matter how tired I was. I nursed and bottle fed and it was no problem to get out of bed for their safety and well-being.

jcruz on

never feel guilty for spoiling your baby with love. the american culture focuses on making our babies independent and being on their own, and forget that they are afterall BABIES.
especially if you are a working mother, that time of snuggling and cuddling and being together is very precious. id much rather “spoil” my daughter- because that what a lot of parents call it when they dont sleep in their own bed- this way than buying her every toy available or giving in to her tantrums. eventually all babies grow up and want to sleep on their own. i dont know any 13 year old who still wants to sleep with mom and dad.

Sabrina Zareo on

My son is 6 months old & sleeps between my husband & I at night. It’s just easier when he gets fussy (teething) and plus i just love cuddling his little body at night & waking up to his beautiful face beside me every morning. Do what you feel is right & don’t let others place judgment upon you.

D on

Your little man is the spitting image of his daddy! He’s a cutie. My oldest had days and nights reversed until he was almost 3…. so, the only way I ever got any sleep was to let him sleep with me. My daughter came home from the hospital and slept 8 hours a night in her crib, she preferred her own space most of the time. Youngest son finally starting sleeping in his own bed when he was 6… If at all possible, get your little man to sleep in his own bed sooner rather than later – you really need to get a good nights rest and some alone time with your honey.

Mia on

All three of our kids slept with us their first year… and I agree with you! It is a special time and isn’t forever.It is also much easier if you are nursing him. I did with all of mine and that part made cosleeping really much easier for feedings. I would say that having them sleep in your bed too long is harder to get them to their beds sleeping on their own. We learned that with our first son and made sure not to do that with subsequent children. Trust your instincts and try not to stress about it! :)) Good luck!

Kathleen on

When my son first came home I would try to let him sleep in the pack and play next ot our bed, but when he would wake up one of the only things that would calm him down was to sleep next to him. I slowly got him to sleep in his crib but would still sometimes take naps with him or let him sleep in his bouncy chair…We had a little bit of a different situation because when my son was 6 weeks old my husband left for his deployment in Iraq. So, it felt good to have our son next to me bc his father was so far away. But, I eventually got him on his schedule and started to let him calm himself into sleeping in his crib. I am glad I did because when my husband returned our bed was our space and our son never thought of it as an option to lay with us. I think it is especially important after a baby to keep some mommy and daddy time and work on your relationship as well as co parenting.

But, I agree with many of hte other women, you are a great mom and it is all instinct and your baby will definately tell you when he is ready to sleep by himself. Good luck :)

Jenny Lynn on

I have always had both my kids in bed with me and my husband , I agree it is a bonding time. My kids Jake now 7 and Madison now 4 are fine sleeping in their own beds it did take a lot of nights reading to them is their beds and laying there till they fell asleep, and I’m not gonna lie we do wake up still with a little person in bed with us :) Ya know, but who cares they are only small for such short time I say spend all the time you can as close to them as you can, cause soon enough there in there own rooms with the door shut doing their own things, so enjoy this time while it lasts :-)

jill on

honestly it is a very bonding experience in the beginning, but you always need to think ahead. i am a parent of 3 children ages 18, 11, 7 ..i allowed the youngest to sleep in my bed for 3 years and he still has difficulty sleeping alone.
Just as we need to bond and nurture..we also have an obligation to promote and set the foundation for autonomy and independence and I found out the hard way habits are hard to break years later. Depending on the child’s personality, it can be very difficult to break the habit of co-sleeping. We all need to be able to be alone and be ok with it as some point in the day, so after trying it, i think we need to set boundaries at night and children should sleep in their own beds. We are adults and they are children we all need our privacy and space at some point, especially when you are in a relationship or married. You also need the time to nurture the relationship with your partner.

Alyssa Clements on

I have a 3 mnth old son and I would love for him to sleep in bed with me. My husband had a cousin who , was not under the influence of ANYTHING, and accidentally rolled over on her daughter when they co-slept. She awoke to find her baby dead, she was 7 mnts. I was heartbreaking. So we just dont risk it. I will say, he sleeps in a nap nanny in the middle of our bed. This way I have him close but in his own space. We have a large enough bed that we still sleep comfortably with this obstruction. I will say in the middle of the night when he fusses I grab him and lay him next to me in bed, but i make sure i am awake. When he falls asleep, I place him back in the nap nanny and head to dreamland myself.

Beth on

I’m not sure his sleeping arrangements should be your first concern right now – I can’t even watch the show anymore and see what an example is being set by his father. There are far more safety issues in that relationship than lie in anyone’s crib or bed. Best of luck – you deserve the best, and work hard for what you have. Don’t let someone take it away.

Megan E. on

This is a battle my husband and I had for a while. I really loved having my son in my bed, but my hsband thought the bed was for us and should remain a romantic place for him and I. But we came to an agree ment that our son is allowed 20 minutes in the bed at night to fall asleep or at least get comfortable enough to fall asleep in his crib and he is two now and it has worked out amazing for us!! Good Luck!

Margie on

Coming late to this but I have to laugh at the people who say the longer the child stays, the harder it is to get them out. Maybe it is harder if you consider that kids who are more mobile than infants or more able to communicate will be more able to let you know how they feel about the change! But no child wants to sleep with mom and dad forever.

As a working mom, I was away from my child a lot already, and adding night-time separation to that didn’t appeal at all. My baby slept with us, and as a toddler she usually slept with us, and as a preschooler she had options. Once she was in grade school she slept in her own bed unless she felt especially needy – after a move, or for a few weeks after some fool let her watch Jurassic Park. :-/

I think the important thing is to recognize that babies are human, with the same needs as other humans. It’s natural to want to feel safe and secure with the closeness of other people. Once they’re old enough to mentally grasp “Mom is just in the other room” that’s different, but babies developmentally just don’t know that.

Jennifer on

I just found your blog! I’m also a new mom and my baby is 3 months old. I was told by a friend that I needed to move her out of our room and to the crib at this age, but I’m so sad to do it! I thought they slept in the room with you until they were at least 6 months, but she said they become more aware. She’s still in the bassinet next to our bed.

I’m sleeping in a bit late since she is up at night some, so after her early morning feeding, I put her on the boppy in the middle of our bed and I nap beside her. She has acid relux, so she naps well at an incline. I also do what you do…take off all pillows and push my comforter down. I scoot far down so the covers are far from her and I stay a couple feet away too. ha! I guess I am paranoid, but I do like that I can see/hear her. I don’t move when I sleep, but my husband does, so he isn’t allowed to nap with her. I guess I will be moving her soon to her crib. I should probably start having her nap in her crib to get used to it.

I’m glad you posted about this because reading other people’s comments helps! Love your show, by the way! You have such a nice close-knit family.

Deborah Gillespie on

My son slept in bed with me til he was 12 months when he was weaned to a bottle and then I put him in his own room in his own big car bed ( made a big deal of his new car bed – he loves cars ) and he has slept in there from 7pm til 6am for the last two yrs he is now three, it was easy to get him out of the bed, it took maybe two or three nights of him going to bed a bit later getting used to a book in his own bed, leave the light on for him and door oen and he reads himself a book and nods off and comes in for cuddles when he rises. I WOULD not take back that time of having him sleep with me at all, it is something precious you never get back, and nothing compares to having your little babes sweet little face lying right next to you, its really something I am so glad I did! He transitioned fine and many mums I know have been able to transition easily, also some babes that slept in their cribs when they get to toddler age and are mobile are just as likely if not more to start climbing into mum and dads bed once they are walking and limbing and becoming more vocal, infact my friends child who is three now slept in a cot from the start ad he is now three and will only sleep with mum and dad now, so it really doesnt matter they will do what they do at different stages regardless and the time you share now is forever special, it really was the highlight for me in that firs yr. You make there ‘new room and bed’ and exciting place to be, and you can read to them in the bed and just make it comfortable and a fun thing can pop a new toy or get them a fun bed, a special big boy bed with lights on or dimmed and door open and they really will get used to it. At the end of the day you just do what you feel comfortable with and everyone has there opinions but I know many kids who sleep with their parents later and all slept in cribs, my son co slept for a yr and has never had any trouble with sep anxiety around sleep time, he actually likes getting in his car bed and going to sleep, its exhausting being a toddler :) Good luck with your bub

HL on

Courtney, on a different subject, I just wanted to point out that when Mason is riding in the car he needs to have his chest clip at armpit level, not over his abdomen. This is the keep the harness in the proper position in a crash. It’s dangerous to have it over his soft belly.
Also, please look up extended rearfacing for after he’s a year old. The AAP now rec. at least 2 yrs and 30#. My son will until he’s at least 3. It’s 500% safer.
I applaud you for breastfeeding and being dedicated! :)

Penny on

I have eight children, youngest is 11 months and they all slept with me till they were two. Naps were in their cribs. It was hard to wean a couple of them but having them there was worth it all

Amy on

If only my sweet little 14-month old daughter slept through the night! She is definitely getting better as she gets older. Crib for naps and for nights that daddy is home, but when he is on a trip for work, she shares our bed. Unfortunately, she still wakes in the night whether she is sleeping alone or with me. Good luck. Trust your ‘mommy instincts”.

Patty on

Every mom and baby is different. You really should do what feels right for you and your baby. I tried co-sleeping with my son but he would fuss. Also I felt that it was very unsafe. So I saw no use in trying again having him sleep in my bed if the baby didn’t seem to like it and I felt uneasy about it. He’s been happily sleeping in his crib since he was a newborn- in his own room. But that’s me- and like I said you should trust your instincts and do what works for you! Don’t listen to people who tell you the pros and cons of different parenting decisions. I have a 5 month old and it was just recently that I learned to stop comparing myself to others and their parenting and just do what I think is right for my family, and that goes for just about everything…feeding, sleeping, vaccinating, ect. I’m a new mommy too and I know how hard it is, Kourtney, you’re doing a great job!

Melinda on

Our little punkin’ goes to sleep at night in his bassinett as we usually go to bed later than he does. Then, inevitably he wakes about about 11pm for his next feed. I love this moment because I bring him into bed with us for the rest of the night. I guess in my mind I feel like I’m getting the best of both worlds. At the very least, he knows what his own bed smells like ;)

deb on

we let our son co-sleep. he’s going to be a year on july 15. i never thought i would let my baby sleep in bed with me, but those first few weeks with little sleep made me desperate for sleep so we did it. my only concerns now are getting him to sleep in a bed! i’ve heard that the longer they do it, the harder it is. that is ringing true right now. he also likes to nurse a lot throughout the night when he’s feeling crummy or when he’s getting teeth. it is a great thing, and statistics say that almost all families do it at some point. but you’re right – the bonding time is something that i’ll always cherish, even when my boy is 15! good luck!

deb on

by the way, i am so proud of you for breastfeeding! i think it’s extremely positive “press” for breastfeeding and you’re doing a lot of people a lot of good. our society seems to push formula and that’s just not me!

Margie Perez on

I had my son late in life I was 38yrs old. He’s slept with me and my husband since he was born. I don’t see anything wrong with him sleeping with us. People also told me that if I didn’t get him out of our bed asap we were nver going to get him out. Well they were right!! Jaden is now 7yrs old and STILL Sleeps with us!! But we really don’t mind, I figure the time will come when he’ll want to sleep in his own bed. Till then I enjoy the time we have with him. They grow us quickly, the day will come soon enough when he’ll rather be hanging out with his friends than sleeping with his folks. SO ENJOY THEM, They are only this little once!!!

Jennifer on

My almost 3 year old daughter was breastfed for almost 2 years and bed shared the whole time. Now she’s in a toddler bed but ends up in our room in the night. I like being able to go to sleep without her in my bed now, but I can’t say I don’t enjoy waking up in the morning to snuggles and hearing “Good Morning Mommy”. Funny thing is that she’s fiercely independent and if she thinks she can do something on her own you best not get in her way or you’ll get a stern “No! I do it myself, you don’t help me!”

Liz on

My son is 3 months old and since the day he came home from the hospital he has slept in his crib. Personally I am terrified of having him in bed with me I have had bad dreams that I roll over on him so I keep him in his crib. When he takes naps during the day I put him in my bed because for some reason he wont stay napping in his crib but in our bed he will.
I have also discovered that by giving the baby a daily routine helps him sleep better. I give my son a bath every night between 6-7pm and by 8:30pm he is asleep until 2:30-3a. When I know I will not be home to give him his bath I give it to him before leaving the house and he will still fall asleep where ever we may be.
Your son is adorable and love watching the show Scott cracks me up I think your family is way to hard on him.

Rebecca A. on

I never intended to co-sleep, honestly it terrified me. But I breastfed my son. I often woke up in the morning and there he was asleep on my chest. Finally I just laid him next to me and thats how it happened.
The transition to his crib was surprisingly easy. I put him in there around 13 months old.
Only you know what is right for your family.

Kate on

It’s a battle within… My little girl slept with us maybe two/three times total as she didn’t like it. I “read” her. While she likes to cuddle with us she likes her own bed. So, you and Mason will sort out what is best for you both.

Leslie on

Go Mama!! I am 23 year old first time mom now pregnant with #2 and our first born still sleeps in bed with us. Once this new babe is born she will sleep in a bassinet attached to our bed and move in to bed WITH us once she gets a little bigger, unless I give in right away which I might but as long as you do it safely I think its one of the best choices for you and baby. As a breastfeeding mom myself, it was just easier when it came to nighttime feeding not having to get out of bed or even get up! If you read the articles written by Dr. Sears he explains how you reduce of the risk of SIDS and your baby does not fall in to too deep of a sleep where they forget to breathe because they have mama right next to them. <3 yay for another co sleeping mama!!

joy Brooke on

Do whatever works, Kourtney. It changes so much from month to month.. week to week, and even day to day. Right now it feels good and is working. You are probably getting more sleep and you are enjoying the time while creating a bond. This is most important. Children are all different sleepers no matter what methods you use, jammies you put them in, blankets they hold.. whether you co-sleep or don’t. I breastfed both my babies, co-slept with my first for a year because he needed it and I enjoyed it. With my second, I did for the first three months and then we both seemed to sleep better apart- her in her crib and me in my bed. You just have to do what works for you and listen to your heart. You know best and you know what Mason needs and wants most because you are his mommy. There may come a time when you are ready not to co-sleep and you will deal with the transition then… no need to worry. Welcome to the world of parenting where everyone has an opinion on everything. You just need to follow your heart because it seems like you are doing a great job as a new mommy.

cynthia on

my leebug slept with us the first 2 months of life and one night we simply put him in his crib and he slept thru the night. although his crib is at the foot of our bed, I still feel it was the right move @ the right time. currently on vacation, we brought his play-pen and does perfectly well @ night (even in another room). naptime is different; we lay with him and keep him in our bed. good luck! <3 you and your family!

Anonymous on

Co sleeping is the way to go, especially if you are breast feeding. It’s the way nature intended it to be!

Andrea on

I knew before I had my baby that she would sleep in the bed with me. I noticed that she seemed to sleep a lot better with me than in her bassinet. The bonding time I got to have with her and being able to smell her sweet baby skin and listen to her breathe was like no other. Eventually, she got to a point where she would roll over and push me to the far edge of the bed. As much as I wanted my little one to sleep with me and continue the bonding, I realized she needed to be in her own space to move around freely without me feeling confined to a little space. I moved her into her crib a little after four months and she does very well. She started sleeping 10-12 hours not long after. To keep the bonding time, I still manage to put her in bed and snuggle right after bath time and keep her there till she falls asleep next to me. I just make sure to move her back soon after. I wouldn’t worry about the issue of keeping him in bed versus putting him in a crib debate. Do whatever is comfortable for you and it’ll all work itself out in the end.

Mary B. on

I chose co-sleeping and never, ever regretted a second of it. The first few years fly by and I could never regret any extra hours spent with my little girl. She is confident and healthy and is now, at 4, in her own bed for most of the night. She loves having her own bed and is very proud of it. I would have switched her earlier if she’d shown any interest. Major snuggler!

Robbie on

Now I may be foreign to the topic because I don’t have a kid but can’t you smother a baby like that? I would be more worried about sustaining the child’s life and less worried about bonding time. If you want bonding time, take him to a ball game….

Michelle Rodriguez on

Hey kourt,

I have an almost 3yr old daughter that has been sleeping with me since the moment she came home from the hospital. She is so used to it I can’t get her out of by bed. I have tried many things but she is so attached that it breaks my heart hearing her cry when i put her in her room by herself. The best thing to do is get him used to his bed now cause in the end the three of u will suffer the process of getting him out!!!!!!! Take Care and he is such a cutie pie….

Czubby Mom on

I have a 5 week old daughter and she sleeps in her bassinet in our room. If she has a night that she’s particularly fussy, I’ll move her to our bed and she settles down. I think sometimes she just needs extra cuddle time and to know that her mommy and daddy are close by!

Terra on

We do the ‘family bed’ in our home. We side car’ed our crib to the bed to add space. It’s been wonderful all around and a wonderful bonding experience with our 3 and 2 year old :) Our 3 year old [will be 4 in November], transitioned all on his own bed. He just started falling asleep there. Usually very early in the morning he’ll climb back in bed with us.

My 2 year old of course is still with us and nursing.

It’s only in our Westernized culture that bed sharing is not favored or truly understand. It’s a natural way of parenting and has been done this way through out the world for centuries and centuries. Humans were not made to be devoid of human touch and contact and to ‘self soothe’.

And so often so many people expect things out of their children that they do not even expect out of themselves.

I am quite sure that an adult would not like someone coming in and saying “you know what, you can no longer have your nightly ritual of [insert comfort] [cuddling with your spouse, sleeping on your favorite people, watching TV, listening to music....to fall asleep], yet unfortunately everyday people expect there babies/infants/children to be in a completely separate room without the ultimate comfort, human touch, especially from those who love them most. It doesn’t really make any sense to me.

Kudos to those who listen to their instincts and follow the natural way of parenting.

MommyHJCCMM on

I think each child and each situation is different and should be looked at as such:

With my first, second and third, I was unable to breastfeed. They each slept in their own cribs, from day 1.
My fourth, I breastfed, for 5 months. He slept with me, until he was on formula. Once on formula, he slept in his crib, with no trouble transitioning.
With my fifth, I breastfed, for 9 months. He slept with me, for the first 6 months, then had a hard time converting to his crib. He would only sleep on his belly, if he was not with me. (bought “Angel Care Movement and Sound Monitor” to feel better about tummy sleeping).
Now, with my sixth, I am currently nursing. He is only 5 months. He still sleeps with me. I am in the process of converting him to his crib, but he will only sleep for about 3 hours. When he wakes up to eat, he will not go back to sleep, in his crib.
Swing or Mommy. :)

Lindsay on

Our 4-month old sleeps in his crib at night. Sometimes if he wakes up extra early in the morning, we bring him in bed with us for a few extra hours of sleep. We love this time that he lays with us, but we try and not do it too often for the fear that it would be hard to break him of the habit. I think you should do what you think is best for your little man, but I also agree that the longer you co-sleep, the harder it may be to transition back to the crib. Mason is a doll – little boys are the best~!

A Coll on

All 3 of my kids (now 14, 2.5 and 1.5) slept with me until they were comfortable with sleeping in their own beds…my two youngest will come in our room – not every night – if they wake up and climb in bed with us…it’s usually close to the time we have to get up in the morning, so my husband and I are both ok with it. When they were just born and under 1 years old, I believe we wanted to make sure that they were ok during the night…use a firm mattress and like you said – no pillows – and I believe everything will be just fine! The bonding and the love – something you will never forget!

crystal on

My son is 5 months now and I am always worrying about the same thing … but i feel better when he sleeps in the bed with us and he sleep the night when he is in the bed if i put him in his room he doesn’t sleep the night . With that said it think its gonna be hard to get him to sleep in his bed when its time to but we deal with that when its time …. i say just enjoy the moment while you have it :)

yazetann on

Hey kourtney I was wondering what kinda crib do you have for mason, the one that’s in miami with you at your hotel. It looks so easy and small and doesn’t really take up room. (: I really want to know. Please get back at me. Thanks, oh & my baby still sleeps with me I know its scarry but I love her sleeping with me I’m like more afraid of her sleeping in her crib, to me I feel more safier with her with me. <3 -

ellemm on

For me, I walways thought co sleeping was not for me. When my lil. One was first born, he slept in a bassinett next to my bed then transitioned around 6 months to his own crib. It was great but I will be honest and say I missed him as he was growing so fast. At a year, we moved. We had to downsize from our very large home to a one bedroom apartment. The move was hard on all of us. My lil one no longer wanted to sleep inh his crib. With so much going on, I put him where he felt most secure….with me. He is a happy confident 2 year old. Yes, when we move and transition to his own room, it will be hard but such is parenting. I did what was best for us. You are the mum. Everyone has their own opinion but yours is the only one that counts for your son. Love him and cherish every moment, they grow fast! Ellemm

Lisa on

I let my son fall asleep with me everynight. We snuggle up and watch tv or read a book. I let him drift off, but then put him in his own crib for the night. I love the time we have but I also want my own time too.

Sandy on

Hi Kourtney,

I have a 4 1/2 year old and an 11 1/2 month old, both boys. I did let my older son sleep in the bed with me a lot in the beginning because I went back to work when he was 3 months old and I loved the bonding time. I used to feel guilty because I couldn’t be with him all day that the least I could do was be with him at night. I loved every minute of it! However, it was absolute TORTURE to get him to sleep on his own. It was hard for him and hard for us too. Finally at about 2 years old he started to sleep in his own bed. With my youngest I kind of learned from my previous mistakes. I am now a stay at home mom and I only let him sleep with me for short naps in the very beginning. Now at 11 months old he will ONLY sleep if you lay him in his crib. He will not even fall asleep in anyone’s arms! I miss the feeling of having a baby fall asleep on my chest, but I am also getting a better night sleep myself :-) Good luck in all of your decisions!

Vivid on

From day one my daughter’s been a great sleeper, I’m truly blessed in that department. I’ve always been nervous about the idea of co-sleeping not to mention my little brother slept in bed until age 12! I put my daughter bed in her crib & feed her usually once @ night in the rocker in her room. I just recently started bringing her into my bed for her morning feed & we catch a few more hours of z’s after daddy leaves for work. It is amazing snuggling with her, I just hope it doesn’t backfire on me & she starts to reject her crib!

I just wanted to say your a real inspiration. I’m a first time mommy to a little 2 month old girl & am too breastfeeding exclusively. I’m a nutritionist & knew before becoming pregnant it was a must for me & my baby. Despite my encouraging only myself and one other girlfriend of mine is breastfeeding, out of the seven of us that were pregnant all around the same time..you’re definitely an encouragement!

Crystal on

Hi Kourtney,

I have a almost 7 month old baby and he was sleeping with us in the bed until 4 nights ago. So far he has been doing great in his own crib. I did the same thing like you, I was having him take naps in his crib and sleep with us at night, so I think he got use to his crib from the naps. I put him to sleep around 9:00 and he wakes up around 7:00 and I bring him to my bed, so I can sleep a little longer. I am glad we tried putting him in his own bed because now it is giving my husband and I some much needed alone time, but I still have the video monitor right next to me the whole night!

natalie on

I had my oldest in the bed with me until he was 2 i loved it plus i was single then when i had my last i couldnt put him in the bed dad said no he’ll act like a nancy (girl) i still did it when he was working nights (military) and he turned out fine so i say you do what feels right for you don’t worry about what people think or say you’ll know when to end it…..mothers and babies bond is the best thing in the world!!!!!!!!

Mary on

My mother had me sleep in bed with her, she also did that with my other two sisters. As long as mason seems comfortable then it should be fine (:

Fabiola on

I really understand where you are coming from I just went thru that myself, ever since the first day my baby was born he was sleeping on his own ( he is 2 years now) about 6 months ago he got a cold and I didnt want him to sleep on his own since I was afraid he would get worst during the night, well that whole week he slept with my husband and I and now 6 months later he gets up at 2 am and moves to our bed, I love the fact that even at 2 am he looks for the side where mommy is at but, he is not sleeping as well as he should and honesty neither is mommy or daddy, we havent been able to get a goodnights sleep in 6 months which before we were, now we decided that he has to move out of our room and back into his, and its soo hard for him and for us, and this started all in just one week now imagine doing it becouse you want to and then in 2 years trying to move him into his own room, its better that try to start on that habbit as soon as possible cuz girl later on you wont be able to.

Sarah on

I know this is an old blog but whatever. I am a professional nanny and a mother to an 11 month old girl. From a professional’s point of view, it’s better to not have your child in bed with you. The baby could roll off the bed, you could roll over onto him, if you have a blanket it could smother him, a body part could get trapped between the mattress and headboard or mattress and wall and the risk of SIDS goes WAY up.
From a mother’s point of view I can understand why you would want that bonding time with him. My daughter has slept in her crib in her room since day 1. My husband and I still need OUR grown up space. HOWEVER my daughter has joined us in bed in the mornings for some good snuggle time, and when she has been sick she slept with me on the couch which is actually worse than sleeping in bed with your baby, but then again since she was sick neither of us slept much at all. Now it would be next to impossible for my daughter to sleep with us, last time she came in our bed in the morning she formed the letter H between my husband and I. Very uncomfortable.

Sarah on

Oh…raise that clip to armpit level. Learn your car seat safety rules and make sure that carseat in installed in your car properly!

Sarah H. on

Hi there! First off, this is my first time finding your blog, how nifty! Congrats of course on the new little one! He is a darling. :) Now as to your question about co-sleeping…

I have three children and they have all slept with us in our bed. My husband is in the USCG, and having that time to bond is great as well as being much easier for me to nurse at night. We all get more sleep this way. I am a firm believer in co-sleeping. Did you know that in places like China, where co-sleeping is the norm, their SIDS rate is like 1/10 of what the US’s rate is? My husband adn I both decided early on it made sense to cosleep. My children are all in their own beds now and it was not a problem for them to transition. This idea that it will be hard to get them out of bed is nonsense to me. When cosleeping becomes an issue for everyone, then there are gentle ways to discourage it and allow the child to feel comfortable in their own bed. My advice for what its worth(and I realize its probably not likely to even be found since I am perhaps the 800th something person to comment lol)is to do what your heart tells you. Being a mom is hard enough, and I imagine it must be very hard when you know the whole world is watching questioning your every move. Kourtney, I believe if its good enough fro Jesus, its good enough fro your little baby! lol ;) God bless hun!

Sarah

Nicole on

Hi Kourtney, I just want to say that I’m a teenager, and when I was a baby that’s what my mom did. So, I would always be scared if my mom made me sleep in my own bed, and I would always end up in hers. This is embarrassing, but because I always slept with her, I didn’t sleep alone until I was 12. Don’t ask me how my mom did it, but I finally realized that I had too. So I’m telling you right now, make him sleep in his crib.

Anne on

I’ve co-slept with both of my boys. It is so wonderful for parents and children. Google Dr. James McKenna for lots of great information about why co-sleeping is so beneficial. Dr. William Sears has tons of good info as well.

My 3 1/2 year old still co-sleeps with his Dad, and I co-sleep with our 15 month old. Most adults want to sleep next to another person, why shouldn’t children get to as well?

Melissa on

I love the people who declare that your child will CERTAINLY end up in your bed forever and then admit they’ve never co-slept. I have four children and ALL of them spent at least their first year in my bed. My youngest is 10 months old and is happily still co-sleeping (and definitely will continue until we stop breastfeeding). The other three have easily transitioned to their own beds when they stopped nursing. It’s one of those things where you have to follow your mommy instincts. They’ll lead you the right way. I have so many friends who complain about being sleep deprived after baby is born. Not me! We’ve all gotten plenty of sleep because baby is safe and cozy with mommy right beside her.

Sonya on

I think you are a wonderful mom and do the best by Mason, I have followed you and your family on the Kardashians and your Miami show and I feel I have got to know all of you personally, everyone has thier ups and downs but do what makes you the happiest. I learned with my 3 kids that my first one that I had in 1997 slept with me when he was a baby and he slept with me until he was 9, my other boy who was born in 2002 never slept with me and my husband and has always slept in his own bed. My daughter who was born this December along with Mason has never slept with me and my husband and sleeps good in her own bed, the only future issue I would see is having a hard time getting him to sleep in his own bed when he is a little older, when you and Scott would want to spend some quality time. Thanks Love you all

Kim on

The only reason I didn’t have our newborn daughter sleep with us was, mostly, due to safety concerns; I was so afraid one of us would roll onto her. However, now that she is almost 2 1/2 years old, if she ever awakens in the middle of the night, I immediately change her diaper and put her in bed with us…that doesn’t happen often, because she normally sleeps through the night. I, also, have my reservations–in addition to my continued safety concerns–about children sleeping with their parents. As you mentioned, I would think it would be more difficult for them to sleep in their own beds, if they’ve become accustomed to sleeping with their parents. Besides that, I really do feel that EVERYONE is happier if each is sleeping in his own bed. Just my humble opinion.

Jill on

You have always done what is best for Mason and I do not think you are doing anything wrong when it comes to letting your infant sleep in the bed with you. My son sleeps in the bed with my husband and me, not all nights but any night where he ends up there. I believe that as long as you make any transition with your child comfortable the child will not act out negatively. Whether it be from the bottle to a cup or training pants to the potty rest asure it will happen.
Personally I placed my son in his bed one night and told him I loved him and good night and he slept in his bed. Another time I handed him a cup and say this is yours and showed him how to hold it and it was that easy. If you do not get super emotional neither will the baby.

Laura on

I am a new Mommy for exactly a month now, and I do allow my baby girl to sleep in the bed with us. She starts off in the bassinet and when it is time to nurse her in the middle of the night, she sometimes stays there until morning. I always told myself that she would never sleep with us in the bed, but I love the bonding time spent with her!

Danielle on

I just had a baby myself almost 6 months ago. She is smart as can be, my husband and I did the whole Co sleep thing for the first few months, the baby would wake up in the middle of the night in her crib and we would put her in bed with us for the rest of the night. It got to the point that she knew which bed she was in and refused to sleep in her crib. At that point we decided that she needed to be in her crib 100% of the time. That gives my husband and I our alone time, and my husband gets better sleep because he is not paranoid about rolling over on to the baby.
I think Co sleeping is amazing for bonding but I also think that you need to put the baby in the crib before they refuse to sleep without being in the bed with you.

Nina on

I don’t co-sleep with my son on a regular basis. I bring him to bed with me only when he’s not feeling well or wakes up crying. I cuddle him until he falls asleep and then I place him back in his crib. I find it hard to sleep with him in bed, I just don’t sleep!

Holly on

I let my son sleep in my room but he is almost 3 now and he refuses to sleep in his crib, he tells me he is scared and that there are monsters in there, so now Im at the point where its like what kind of mother would make her son sleep where he thinks that there are monsters somewhere, if he’s scared do i still make him go. And now I am 10 weeks pregnant with our second child and I know that there is no way that I can fit us in the bed together once im a little further down the line, I think that you should go with your instinct on this one but think about it do you want him in there with you when hes 3? Just enjoy it now but be sure to make the transition from bed to crib before he is old enough to get out of his crib or guilt you into letting him stay in thetre. Good Luck!!!!!

Kris on

You know Kourt, I have a 14 month old and for the first couple of months she slept in a bassinet next to my bed but, after two months I had her sleeping with me and I have to say I loved every second of it the way she would turn to me and put her face next to mine was priceless, she sleep in her crib for naps but at night she knew that she would be with momma and the mister, we allowed her to do that until she turned around nine months when she began to walk, and basically move around alot in her sleep, but there was no prob getting her to do that I believe she actually enjoyed it, which broke my heart her dad held me for about a week and a half from me crying because she just started to go up, but my point is I think you should let mase tell you when he is ready and as his mother you will no better than anyone I love you too take care of you Kris and Rayden

Helen on

Hi Kourtney, I have three children, youngest being 7 months at present and I have co-slept on and off with all of them. I think it is a beautiful time to build that bond with your child and when they grow you will never get that special time back. My doctor always gives me the funny look when I tell her we co-sleep but it is my decision and I feel the right one. My eldest two (boys) never had any problem transitioning to their own beds and slept wonderfully, only the odd night when they are unwell or had a bad dream would they sneak in and snuggle into bed with us. Well done on baby Mason and may your motherhood journey be as wonderful as it should be:)

Tina on

We have coslept with all of our children and I feel that for many breastfeeding moms it may be a solution! We have weaned all of our kids around 18 months to 2 years and while our 3year old has been the most difficult i believe that it has worked wonders to help me get sleep! Also Kourtney, relax, getting pregnant IS sometimes science! Have him drink a cup of coffee before you go to bed and get *busy*! Remember that if you want a girl next you should stop trying to concieve near ovulation and make sure to temperature chart! California is one of the best states to seek reproductive help. Its not embarrassing and sometimes the man has a low sperm count. Also remember that while breastfeeding it is EXTREMELY hard to get pregnant, your hormones whether mensing or not are low and dont produce enough *juice* as you call it to allow sperm to travel effectively and also remember that alot of lubes actually KILL sperm. You need to use a fertility lube to help!

Thea on

Several studies have shown that children that were early co-sleepers were happier, and much more independant when older. They dressed themselves earlier, and made friends more easily. We cosleep with our 6 month old son, and he is the happiest kid on the block! We frequently get comments on how happy of a kid he is. I know this is because of the co-sleeping. I see many other babies that are left to cry it out, and they are not happy babies.

Co-sleeping: Help or hindrance for young children’s independence?
Meret A. Keller, Wendy A. Goldberg

Jana on

Let Mason sleep in the bed with you Kourtney. Dont listen to those moms who say – I could never have my child in the bed with me. There will come a time when Mason will not want to sleep with you, so enjoy it now. I had my son a year now and thought the crib was the best thing. He cried and cried. I took him into my bed and he is still there. To feel him reach out at nights and hug me and then hug Dad…its priceless. Follow your heart. Some people just want to look as if they are better at parenting. But like I said, he will want his own room soon.Enjoy it girl……..

stacey on

I feel that it is a good bonding experience I just was blessed with another baby boy he is 6months old he sleeps in his crib but if I knew it wouldn’t be difficult to break him of that habit I would let him sleep in my bed,but then I would feel sad for him and myself for hurting him by making him sleep in his crib after I let him sleep with me..But that is all your dicision Kourtney!!!

A Chic on

Okay so here is my deal with co sleeping. I asked this question a lot when my son was first born and got a bunch of different answers. A story a woman told me finally felt right so I went with it. It was basically that a family that she knew allowed their kids to sleep in the bed with them until they were pre adults. The kids lived at home with there parents and went on to college to become a doctor, a dentist, a teacher and some other things while still living at home until they were ready to move or they were married. They were happy, had fulfilling lives, AND were really close as a family(something you rarely see anymore). My baby will be four soon and he still sleeps with me. I have found as a boy he is definitely more affectionate and aware of his feelings but that doesn’t take away from his “boyness”.

I did take the time out to teach him how to soothe himself and give him a nightly regimen so he could feel secure and have a sense of confidence of being able to take care of himself but he still sleeps with me a couple nights out of the week because “he loves his mommy and wants to sleep with her”. I come from a biracial background so I know in some cultures it is unacceptable to sleep with your kids. I was brought up that way and had trouble sleeping until I was 6. Some other cultures don’t give kids enough room to grow and experience a sense of themselves which is also not good either. The combination works really well and is in line with the morals and values I want to teach my child.

mary on

I have a year and a half year old daughter and i set up a toddler bed right next to my bed and if she wants to come in our bed in the middle of the night she can most of the time she stays in her bed but wakes us up and it is the cutest thing. I see not problem letting kids sleep in the bed with you its not like the baby is going to be 15 and still wantting to sleep with you they will grow out of it. I do think if you are going to have more kids you might want to condsider to starting new sleep patterns just because haveing two in the bed might be a little much

bumgenius 4.0 on

I think Mom should always sleep with baby. Presences of mother is always important for baby. baby feel safe and secure with there Mom.

Kerri on

I had a c-section in January, therefore moving around was difficult for awhile. That was my excuse in the beginning for having my son sleep in bed with my husband and I. Then I went back to work after nine weeks and I so looked forward to sleeping nose to nose with my little guy. He naps in his crib without any problems. My husband and I have our “moments” when he is napping. He is now 7 months old and curls up next to me so naturally. I am hesitant in telling people that he sleeps with us. People are very outspoken and aggresive. He is our perfect little angel. We do not know what the future holds. I will probably start putting him in his crib around his first birthday when we start trying for number 2!!!!! To be continued…………

sandra on

I say sleep with your baby as long as you want. They are going to fly away when they are ready. My 8 month old Kayra sleeps the whole night with me. I fell babies need to sleep next to mom, they feel more protected. All these rules people put are BS!!!

Lindsey on

My baby is 3 months and we co sleep on and off. She sleeps from about 10-11 pm to 4 am in her crib or pack and play and then I nurse her in bed and we fall asleep together. It is great and I love the bonding time at the same time she is also having time to get use to sleeping on her own some too. I was good when she was a newborn about sitting up with her and feeding her, swaddling her, and putting in her pack and play, it’s easier to co sleep when they get a little better at breast feeding.

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