Kelly Rutherford: New Moms Need More Support
 Courtesy Working Mother |
For many couples the biggest surprise of parenthood is the strain a new baby puts on their previously rock solid relationship.
Kelly Rutherford lived it — and learned from it — following the birth of Hermés Gustaf Daniel, 3.
“I saw red flags, but I was in love,” she tells Working Mother of ex-husband Daniel Giersch.
“We tried therapy. I stayed in the marriage as long as I could so that I could look at my son and say that I tried everything.”
Noting that new moms “often need their husband’s support more than they get it,” Rutherford, 41, says that if she does harbor any hard feelings she won’t make them known to her son.
“I want Hermés to know that he’s loved in both homes. I tell him every day, ‘Papa loves you.’”
It was Hermés and his sister Helena Grace, 9 months, who motivated the Gossip Girl star to end the marriage, however.
“I realized staying would have been unhealthy for the children,” she explains, clarifying that she is “certainly not advocating divorce.”
While it is “extraordinary to share your life with someone,” Rutherford notes that at the same time, “you need communication and respect.” She adds,
“If you’re not getting that, if you’re not getting support, if your partner isn’t honoring you, then you need to think about the fact that you’re setting that example for your kids.”
Click below to learn Rutherford’s greatest wish for Helena.
