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Feb 04 2010 01:00 PM ET
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Nicole Kidman Was 'Ready' For Baby Later In Life

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She has been in the business since she was a teenager, but Nicole Kidman is prepared to leave that all behind for the sake of her family.

“I used to have a crazy schedule, but then I reached a point in my life where I didn’t want to live like that anymore,” she tells SHE magazine.

“I’ve worked since I was 14 … but now my priority is my family — my baby, my husband — and that’s non-negotiable.”

Refusing to be separated from singer Keith Urban for longer than a few days, the actress insists that policy stands true even when it comes to her work commitments.

“I’m not going on location unless we all go together,” she says. “I’ve worked hard enough — and now it’s all about resting and enjoying.”

However, when the couple do find themselves apart, they are always careful to leave behind a few reminders of their love for one another. “Keith and I never text or email — we write letters to each other,” Nicole shares. “We slip them in each other’s luggage and he hides them in my bag, leaves them under my pillow.”

Squeezing in as much family time with their daughter Sunday Rose, 19 months next week, is important for Nicole and Keith. Before the country crooner kicked off his tour last year, the trio — along with a few close friends — rented a villa in Italy for two weeks for a bit of rest and relaxation! “We ate, played music, swam, drove to nearby cities,” she recalls.

The feelings of “bliss” were only temporary! After nearly missing their flight back to the States — and later being stranded on the runway before take-off — Sunday made it quite clear that she was in no mood for their vacation to end.

“We had a nightmare journey home,” Nicole admits. “Sunday screamed all the way home. I walked up and down the aisle with her apologizing, it was awful!”

Click below to read about why Nicole wants to make it to 100.

Despite noting that Sunday is “not a baby who can sit still for very long,” Nicole is adamant that she won’t turn to medication for help. “I’ve spent so long wanting her that I won’t medicate,” she says after the interviewer suggests giving Sunday Calpol to calm her on future flights. After all, she notes, motherhood is all about embracing the ups and the downs!

“It gets harder and better at the same time. They don’t tell you that — the club,” she notes. “They don’t tell you anything — about the pain, the birth.” For Nicole, having the chance to experience pregnancy and delivery is one she will forever appreciate. Although admittedly “really frightened” at the time, she insists she wouldn’t trade the “magical” experience for anything.

“It’s why I’m glad I’m a woman. Men will never have a life inside of them — it’s why I’d never choose to be a man!”

And despite being an on-the-go baby girl, Sunday is making her parents proud when it comes to bedtime. “Sunday sleeps through now,” Nicole reveals. “We got lucky!”

Fortunately, her sleep schedule has made first-time fatherhood a breeze for Keith, who has endured “a lot of firsts” with Nicole! “She’s Keith’s first child — he’s 42 now, and it’s a big thing for a man to get to that age and have a baby — and get married,” she muses.

And while she may be Keith’s first baby, Nicole says welcoming Sunday later in life after also living through motherhood in her 20′s has made it that much more special. “At this stage in life I was ready for her. Ready for this,” she says.

“The joy it brings. The simplest things, Sunday smiling a toothless smile and then suddenly it’s a one-tooth smile — it’s divine!”

That said, mothering both Sunday and her teenagers — Isabella Jane, 17, and Connor Antony, 15 — simultaneously comes with a whole new set of challenges! “They’re polar opposites,” she confesses. “With Bella, I’m being someone she can confide in, while trying not to tell her what to do. With Sunday, I have to show her, teach her how to do everything … It’s really keeping me on my toes!”

According to Nicole, however, time spent with her older kids is often scheduled into their busy social lives. “[Sunday] is their second baby sister and they’re [17] and [15] only interested in their friends, but they’re good with her,” she laughs.

Parenting both ends of the spectrum at 42-years-old has only further motivated Nicole to strive for longevity in her life. Her goal? To make it to 100 and see Sunday become a mother herself!

“For Bella and Connor I was a young mother — and for Sunday, I’m an older mother,” she explains.

“It’s strange to have two dimensions. It makes me want to be healthy and be able to do things.”

Bella and Connor are Nicole’s children with ex-husband Tom Cruise.

Source: SHE; December issue

– Anya

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Comments (46) + Add a comment

I rather like this interview. Most times I can’t really get into what she’s talking about, but she seems honest and human here. I’m so happy she’s enjoying all her children :)

- Jen on

Great interview!!

- Melanie F. on

Jen, that is exactly what I thought. She seems real, “human” – especially the episode of a crying Sunday on the airplane left me chuckling somehow as I experienced exactly the same with my daughter when she was a baby – not in first class though…

- Elki on

i’m glad she mentioned sunday’s relationship with connor & isabella as well as the difference between parenting as a young mother compared to parenting as an older mother because i know a lot of people seem to think she totally abandoned her first two kids when she didn’t.

- waffle on

I’m glad she talks a bit about her other kids. You sometimes forget as they always seem to be with Tom.

- JMO on

“I’ve worked since I was 14 … but now my priority is my family — my baby, my husband — and that’s non-negotiable.”

Can’t she have said my kids instead of my baby…I just did not like this statement. Not wanting to start anything but I find it sad. Seems both Cruise and Kidman place their “babies” above the older children as their focus. Yes, they are older but they need the same love and respect.

- Vida on

Vida-
That stood out to me as well. She should have just left it at “my priority is my family”, if she didn’t want to include her older kids in that statement. That really rubbed me the wrong way.

- J.D. on

I really enjoyed this article, she was honest and really let her gaurd down. The Urbans are such a cute family and I like the part about the little love notes!

- Kelsey on

wow vida, i almost copied and pasted the same quote before i read your post! i completely agree. i think she sounds rather negligent of isabella and connor with a statement like that. i almost feel as though, at least with how she and the media portray it, that they’re second in line to her “new” family. i hope this isn’t the case.

- kmb on

i remember her saying in an interview that her older kids don’t like being talked about much. we also don’t know what the question was.
we can’t judge if she includes or compares her children. in my impression she loves her three kids it’s just different how she talks about them or how much she shares with the public about each kid.

- denise on

Their daughter is the cutest thing I have seen in a long time.

- Bleriana on

I think people read too indepthly in interviews. Michael Douglas just said that like last week, how as an older parent he’s more patient and has more time versus as a a young parent he was so focused on his career he didn’t have the time with his child(ren). And he was praised for it but a women says something similar and people don’t like it. I’m NOT trying to start a fight but I do/did find this to be a good article on her.

- kate on

Well, really the older two don’t live with her. She has to schedule time to spend time with them. She is not responsible for them on a daily basis. This is true of any non-custodial parent that does not live near their children.

- Jen on

also in the end she only talks about wanting to see Sunday becoming a mother herself. I think here she could have said seeing Bella becoming a mother herself since is likely this will happen first

Still seems a rather odd and distant relationship. I dont want to pass judgment and maybe really works well for them.. but still sounds distant.

- lina on

There has always appeared to be a disconnect w her feelings for her adopted kids w Tom, vs the bio baby w her current husband. Tom always seemed to adore them, while she just kinda went along. I bet if she and her hus split, this daughter wouldn’t be living with her father…

- m-dot on

@lina

Bella is 17 and she knows that she will be there for her, she is just afraid that for her age, she won’t be able to see Sunday as well.

- marina on

Her relationship with her elder children causes me to worry…I know that’s stupid cuz it’s none of my business but it seems odd.

- Jennifer on

Kate, I don’t think Michael Douglas was exactly praised for his stance on parenting earlier in life vs. later. Along with the post about Harrison Ford making similar comments, many people said they felt sorry for their older children because they seemed to be the “starter” kids.

- gracieandholdensmom on

“Despite noting that Sunday is “not a baby who can sit still for very long,” Nicole is adamant that she won’t turn to medication for help. “I’ve spent so long wanting her that I won’t medicate,” ”
I should hope not! It is perfectly normal for toddlers/young children to not want to sit still for any length of time. What kind of idiot would even consider turning to drugs?!

- Kami on

Well, as it’s mentioned already, i also notice how distant and no mention at all of her adopted kids as her family. Is it really Tom Cruise the one who’s go the full custody and why?? It’s so wrong, i don’t know. The situation with Bella and Connor doesn’t look that happy at all.

- Bugs on

I think it was a good interview. My feeling is that the interview was probably focused more on Keith and Sunday, or her day-to-day life, and that’s why she might not have elaborated very much on her relationship with Bella and Connor. This would be especially true, too, if they don’t like her talking about them very much. You never know, Tom might also have an issue with her discussing Bella and Connor in-depth.

Clearly she doesn’t live with Bella and Connor, so while I doubt it would make them insignificant in her life, the family dynamic would be different and therefore her day-to-day family unit is, in fact, Keith and Sunday.

I get the sense it’s not about neglect so much as simply the custodial arrangement that they have. Clearly, from the comments Nicole did make about Bella and Connor, she still has a very motherly, loving relationship with them, which at the end of the day – no matter their living arrangements – is the most important thing.

- Emily on

Kami, what would be the big deal to give a little Benadryl to put Sunday out of her misery? I’m not saying OD her, but your pediatrician can give you the proper dosage. I wonder how she is with her other kids. I don’t think they are very connected, but the kids may be ok with just Katie and Tom and Nicole as more of an auntie. I wonder if it was just Tom that suddenly adopted them or something? Very strange stories behins that it seems.

- Reader on

I don’t see why she wouldn’t be around to see Sunday getting married – she’ll be in her sixties/early seventies – that’s not that old today (not to mention in 25 years…)

- Maya on

#22 “Kami, what would be the big deal to give a little Benadryl to put Sunday out of her misery? I’m not saying OD her, but your pediatrician can give you the proper dosage.” Are you aware of the potential side-effects of Benadryl (even when taken at the correct dosage)? Not something that I would do to either of my two children regardless of how unsettled they are.

- Kami on

Nicole knows she will be around to see Bella and Conor become parents. She just meant she also wanted to live long enough so she can also see Sunday become a mother. I don’t get why some people seem to not understand that. Bella could get married at 18 and become a mom in the next two years. Sunday is only 18 monnths old!

- sarajane on

What a lovely artcle. I always feel sad that people give her such a hard time about her older children, but none of us know anything about it really. I honestly believe the things I have read about it being the choice of the older two to stay with Tom and his family that all at different times live with him. I have read Nicole say several times that her life became sad and all about work because she felt that was all that was left for her to control. It may seem to some that you should insist, but I know from personal experience that does not always work. They are a lovely, happy couple and I am happy for them!!

- Ann Johnson on

#26 Ann, I agree with you. I have always felt it was a decision that was possibly not Nicole’s to make. I for one am glad she and Keith have finally found love and happiness and they can raise Sunday in nice quiet Tennessee.

- Marnie on

I enjoyed reading this, Keith and Nicole are excellent parents, I admire them and their honesty about the children. When kids beome teenagers they go places with their friends, like Nicole said, plus they can see Sunday too, this is good for all. I am glad that Keith and Nicole are happy.

- gladys on

I love Nicole’s comment about being someone for Bella to confide in! :)

- CelebBabyLover on

If anyone COULD have an issue concerning Nicoles older children, it’s me, having grown up with a stepmother and younger half sister that got all the attention. I TRUST Nicole and wish she could have been my stepmother! To me, she seems smart, sweet, loving and FAIR! Give her a break!

- FAIR on

whenever I read her interview about parenting/kids/life etc… it always focuses on Sunday and how amazing she is (im sure she is) and blah blah blah.. I just want to stop mid interview and scream YOU HAVE TWO OTHER CHILDREN!? And yes she mentioned their hectic social lives but honestly you can see through the interviews the differing responces to her older children and younger children.. The quote Vida pointed out is EXACTLY what I mean.
It. Drives. Me. Crazy.

- jessica on

Maybe it was the question she was asked and how it was worded but it does seem a bit odd that she is a bit disconnected to her older children. Hopefully its not true and its just how it seems in the article.

- Diana on

i knew you people would slam her for this interview… unbelievable… celebs cannot win…period…

- btw_2010 on

For everyone’s information, I heard Tom say on Oprah that he and Nicole have JOINT custody of the two older children; they have chosen to live in LA with Tom because that’s what any kids their age would want to do (as opposed to a farm in Tennessee). I think you people who are being so critical of her should get busy (like making sure you’re being good parents to your OWN children) and stop obsessing over people you don’t even know. How would you like complete strangers criticizing every move you make?!

- mary on

@Reader-I agree. Benedryl helps the children sleep and you wouldn’t have to walk up and down a crowded 7+ hour flight apologizing for your screaming baby.
@Kami-There are side effects to all medications. I think that’s a silly reasoning. People are going to find fault in everything. That’s why mothering is on an INDIVIDUAL basis. You do what’s best for you.

- I♥CBB on

I don’t think anyone understands. At 17 or even 15 you don’t really want to be near either of your parents. You have friends, school- a life. We do not know the circumstances and only reading and seeing what is being published. There is obviously more behind the scenes.

- Lyssa on

Lyssa-

General statements like that are not always true. My mother and I have always been extremely close. I’ve known quite a few people who are the same way.

However, that’s not even my issue. My issue is how she blatantly left Bella and Connor out of her “family.” I don’t care what the question was. She said her focus was on her family and went on to clarify that she meant her baby and husband. What about her two older kids?

- J.D. on

I also wanted to say we don’t know the the exact question that was asked. I like Nicole and I respect her as an actress and a mom. I’m sure she did not “purposefully” left out her older children. She was probably answering direct questions about Keith and Sunday. People on this board can be so judgemental and cruel. She’s a good mom. She loves ALL her children. Let’s just leave it at that.

- I♥CBB on

I love the Urbans, they seem so happy & comfortable with their lives. I’m so glad they were blessed wtih Sunday! It doesn’t matter what comes out of Nicole’s interviews, someone will take it out of context. If she would have said exactly what all the negative posters wanted then the other half of the posters would have found something negative to say. You can’t please everyone, lol!

- Trish on

To Sarajane:

It’s not at all certain that Nicole will experience Bella having children, but maybe not Sunday. Bella might be 16 years older, but what of Bella has her first baby when she is 40 and Sunday when she is 20?! I think Nicole should have mentioned that she wanted to live long enough to see both her daughters having children. and i find it odd that she always is talking so much about Sunday, her pregnancy and the miracle of life experiencing a pregnancy, when she has an adopted daughter. it’s like it was more of a miracle with sunday and that she loves being mum now, but not with her older kids. Very strange.

- Jennie on

I agree with Jennie. It is very odd that she talks so much in every interview about the miracle of being pregnant. While this is true, it is odd that she would focus on it so much when she has adopted children. Maybe those conspiracy theories are true that Bella and Connor are Tom’s biological children and therefore Nicole sees them more as his children than hers.

- Olva on

If you look back, Nicole was VERY publicly “into” her two older children when they were younger. I think what is going on now may have to something to due with 1) her older children’s wishes as far as her speaking about them and their life in general 2) something “went on” during the end of Tom and Nicole and their divorce 3)we don’t know their custody agreement obviously someone decided (whether the kids or their parents) that they would live in LA with Tom (and now Katie as well) 4) religion – i.e. Scientology may have something to do with all of this as far as the older kids go.

The one thing I have to praise both Tom & Nicole for is that they are not slamming each other in the media, etc. as parents. There are too many people that do that and the children suffer. The only really “public” and “pointed” comment that was made after their relationship ended was the one when Nicole suffered a miscarriage and she said something to the effect that Tom knew the truth (even though he wasn’t there for her and sort of seemed to write her off).

I’m happy Nicole is happy in her life now and that Tom also seems to be happy as well. Children do much better is their parents also feel settled and happy.

- Alice on

J.D. and Lyssa- I actually agree with both of you! I have always been very close to both of my parents, even when I was a teenager. My brother, on the hand, has always had good relationships with our parents, BUT was much more the typical teenager. He was very much into his friends, and also involved with quite a few extracurricular activities. At Bella’s age, he was pretty much usually only home to sleep!

So I definently understand what Nicole is saying when she says that her older kids want to be mostly with their friends. :)

Olva- I highly doubt that Bella and Connor are actually Tom’s biological children. This for two reasons:

1. As famous as Tom is, I think it would have come out by now if Bella and Connor were actually his biological children.

2. I doubt the conspircy theories about Tom not being Suri’s biological father due to being sterile would have started up if there was any truth to Bella and Connor being his biological children.

Also, As for Nicole talking mostly about Sunday in her interviews, I want to point out that Tom also talks a lot more about Suri in his interviews than he does about Bella and Connor.

I think it mostly boils down to the fact that the interviewers are asking them mostly about Suri and Sunday, because they’re the children the media is more interested in.

- CelebBabyLover on

i love nicole. and i don’t usually jump on the bandwagon of criticizing celebrity moms on here. but it drives me NUTS that she talks about sunday like she’s her only child. :(

- Trinh on

Until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes, don’t judge! I understand Nicole’s joy over her new chance at love & motherhood, she deserves to express it!! I have battled with fertily problems since my 20′s, we adopted our son (now 13),and I’m almost 40. We struggled to get pregnant, never happened, we divorced. I’m a single mom, happy with my son!! But,if I was blessed to find love again, and a chance to have a biological child, believe me,I would shout my happiness to everyone!! That’s not saying I don’t love and enjoy my son, it’s just that having all those things in my life would make me elated. I see why Nicole feels so blessed, I wish people wouldn’t judge her like they do, she’s only human!!!

- Chrissy on

To be quite frank, she spends every moment you can with her adopted children. And if any of you posting on here your negative comments as to her “priorities,or distance” should say nothing because you know nothing. And if you happen to be parents of teenagers you certainly understand where she is coming from. Teenagers want to live their own lives even though they are not of age, they know everything there is to know. If your a parent of a teen, you know this. There is a sense of distance between parent and teens vs. parent and new born/infants. It’s part of growing up and wanting to be independent. Judging her for faults that are NOT there is purely ignorance.

- Judy on

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