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Matthew Broderick Says Twins Are 'Pretty Tiring'

01/31/2010 at 08:00 AM ET
Robyn Layton

In his new film Wonderful World, Matthew Broderick portrays a has-been children’s folk singer and divorced dad struggling to maintain a connection with his only daughter. The latter aspect of the character held much more appeal for the real life dad-of-three than the former, he says in a new interview.

“Anything about a father and a kid becoming distant, definitely interests me a lot,” he explains. “The play I am doing now, The Starry Messenger, is about that too a little bit.”

Twins Marion Loretta Elwell and Tabitha Hodge, 7 months, are “pretty tiring” yet also “pretty good,” according to Matthew, 47, who adds that the girls are good sleepers.

“My wife [Sarah Jessica Parker] was away working [on the Sex and the City sequel due out this summer] and I was doing the play, so we’ve had to leave them a lot, so we still have a baby nurse, too. So I have to admit we are not doing it all ourselves.”

In addition to the twins, Matthew and Sarah Jessica are parents to 7-year-old James Wilkie.

Wonderful World is in theaters now.

Source: NewsBlaze

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Showing 81 comments

Ariana on

Try living a normal life most regular people do who have infant twins. I just don’t feel these two are qualified to comment about finding the twins “tiring” when they are “away working” and “leaving them a lot”. This is not the usual situation. And from SJP’s previous comments, it’s been like that almost from the beginning….the absences.

momof3 on

I can’t imagine adopting two new babies and then “going away to work on a movie” while they were still tiny babies and leaving them with a baby nurse. Sorry; I love SJP and Sex and the City (obviously) but this bothers me.

lara on

They just don’t seem to be enjoying these girls as babies. All you seem to hear from both of them is “it’s so tiring!” and “we have help, an lots of it!” sad!

ruby on

I always feel a little bad when a celebrity says something like “So I have to admit we are not doing it all ourselves.” How many parents are doing it all themselves? Just because you have a nanny doesn’t mean that you aren’t a hands on parent. Many people have a daycare provider, grandparent, sitter of some sort. It doesn’t make you a bad parent. It is nothing you should feel that you have to apologize for.

Elby on

I agree wholeheartedly with that statement! I have 2 sets of twins aged 3 and a half and nearly 2 and I still feel like I’m catching up on the sleep that I lost when they were new-borns.

kai on

ruby, totally agree.

it’s SO naive to think the parker-brodericks are any different from 95% of the people featured on this site. I like them a lot for being so honest, other than that I have no right to judge them as parents.

Alice on

Ruby, I totally agree! I think the majority of people are not doing it all themselves! This IS a normal life too, being away working. It’s so annoying the posters who always think they have it harder than everyone.
It’s true though that Sarah and Matthew have gone back to work a earlier than most parents (I think) but if they’d been trying to expand their family for a while they couldn’t just keep their schedules empty because “babies might happen one day”. Yeah, and they might not. Movies take a long time to get going, usually way more than 9 months.

At least they will be able to organise life around them later and be present when the babies are older and interact more.

Ashleigh on

For celebrities, it’s a situation where they usually get criticized either way. If they say they have help, the assumption is that they’re not good parents because their children are taken care of by someone else, 24 hours a day. If they comment on how much they enjoy the early stageshave with their infants, they’re accused of not telling the truth because, again, someone else must be looking after their child/children.

I am in no way saying that every mother on the planet has a nanny or baby nurse. I know for a fact this isn’t true. But the majority of parents, at one point or another, have additonal help in various forms, such as a grandmother, aunt, uncle, babysitter, or daycare provider. There’s NOTHING wrong with this.

Alice, I agree that there are some posters that feel they need to prove they’re better and more self-sacrificing parents than others. I don’t understand why. Each parent does his or her best and as far as this website is concerned, no one knows what type of parents these celebrities are so why make assumptions?

Something About Baby on

At least he’s honest about having help. I find it funny when many celebrities say they do it all themselves

E on

Ruby – you have made my day, and Im glad that so many people seem to be agreeing with you. Working parents and those that have help get a real lashing on this site, and I have always thought it is extremely unfair. Thank you for speaking so much sense.

alice jane on

lara, when did it happen that “tiring” equals SJP and Matthew not enjoying their daughters? It’s the truth; twins are tiring, especially when you have a 7 year old son and successful careers on top of that. But CBB has posted several interviews in the last few months where Sarah Jessica and Matthew have expressed tons of positive thoughts about their girls.

bettyboop on

Come on poster 2! They didn’t adopt the girls, they used a surrogate! The girls are their BIOLOGICAL children (not that it matters.)

Amanda on

I see nothing wrong with them having a nurse, it wasn’t as if they knew exactly when they would find the right surrogate, or if the pregnancy would work and you have to remember that both Matthew and Sarah were under contract when the babies were born. They had no choice but to go back to work after the twins arrived. They would have been sued for breaking contract and I highly doubt the studio would have let SJP just walk away from filming SATC 2 no matter what reason she had. So they have a nanny, I’d say 90 percent if not more working parent(s) have some form of help, be it a babysitter, nanny, family member or daycare. People with one child have help so I know someone with a seven year old and six/seven month old twins is certainly going to need some help.

Matthew and SJP are being accused of not loving their daughters just because they go back to work, all parents have to go back to work. Just because they went back to work sooner than most like to that doesn’t mean they don’t love their girls and that doesn’t make them bad parents. I’m really tired of hearing these two get bashed for their parenting skills. I saw just one interview SJP did on David Letterman where she showed off a pic of the girls. The way she gushed and melted when talking about her daughters and son was just beautiful. She adores those kids so much and even talked about being on webcam when she was away from them and one of the twins was reaching for the screen trying to grab for mommy.

It’s not fair to bash these two just because they have help, they are very hard working parents and actors so give them a break people. They are tired, hello! Isn’t any parents who has kids? Especially when they have a young child and two babies. SJP and Matthew have wanted to expand their family for so long and they truly wanted these twins, they weren’t expecting to get twins but they did and they love it. So please cut them some slack, they aren’t the only parents in the world with help. People just make a big deal out of it because they are famous. If this were just some couple from suburbia no one would even care.

Tina on

Offtopic, but did Sarah Jessica use donor eggs to conceive the twins?

Mary on

I’m a SAHM with ZERO help from anyone other than my husband. I strongly feel that a mother should raise their child and not go to work. BUT I don’t feel anyone should be judging or assuming what these parents are doing because we just don’t know how it really is. When these actors aren’t working they probably see the twins 24/7. So it may not be a typical full time job but at least there are breaks when they can be with them more and around the clock. I don’t see the fuss.

dfgdfgd on

“I strongly feel that a mother should raise their child and not go to work.”

I agree that it’s nice to have a stay at home parent. But why does it have to be the mother? Why can’t the father stay home while the mother works?

dfgdfgd on

bettyboop, in many states you have to adopt your babies when they are born to a surrogate. Whether or not they are your biological children is irrelevant.

Catey on

I’m sure if I was interviewed constantly and asked all the time about my kids, I would say that it was exhausting too! Having worked in media in the past, the above comments were probably part of an 1 hour conversation and the interviewer has just pulled out these comments.

Sorry for this news flash, but HAVING KIDS IS EXHAUSTING!

Mary, great point. I work full-time, but when I am not at work I am with my kids. I would love to be with them all day, but we have made the decision that this is what our lives are so we make the most of the time we have together.

Amanda on

“I strongly feel that a mother should raise their child and not go to work.”

Well that may be nice for whoever said that not every parent in the world has the luxury to stay home with their child and not work. Sorry but that’s not possible for all parents. You can feel that way and I’m sure all moms would love to stay home with their kids and not work but not all have that options. Good for you if you can do that but I know I won’t have that option when I have kids I will have to support my kids and have a job to make money.

Lisa on

Why have kids if your going to be away from them THAT much? I understand we all have to work and along with that comes hiring help, but these people are living in the lap of luxury. They can both afford to be stay at home parents (how awesome would that be!) while these kids are growing up, it goes SO fast… such a shame they are missing out. Oh well, different strokes for different folks.

Tracieleigh on

TO MARY – Get out of the darkages….you can strongly feel anyway you want, but how high and mighty you sound. Maybe you want praise – to be put up on a pedastal b/c you get ZERO help from anyone but your husband…I find that to be very selfish of you. Bet some time alone or more help would help remove that arrogant attitude you have.

Anna on

I don’t understand how they planned these babies. They were not an accident, so definitely planned. So why plan to have them right when you know both of you will be away to work?

I do not understand people that have babies and go back to work the day after they are born. One of the parents should be the primary caregiver, not a nanny or nurse or daycare.

Alice on

Anna (and Lisa), when you plan it doesn’t always work right when you want it to! They said they’d been trying for a long time to have another child, by different means. Obviously they couldn’t be sure when/how it would work.
When they turned to surrogacy they needed to find the right person, and even then it’s the same, the embryos have to be successfully transferred, it’s not always the case, sometimes it takes several trials. You can’t just stop working for 5 or 10 years until you get your babies, because you don’t know if or when it will work. You just try and hope for the best. I assume by the time the twins were on their way, they were already both contracted. As I said movies take a long time to be made from the time you choose the actors and cook up the scenario to the actual shooting and release. Especially SATC2 which is a sequel, they were probably contracted from right after the first one was out, possibly before.

Being rich doesn’t mean they can just break their work engagements just like that, how is that so hard to understand?? Hopefully now they have their babies they can take a break and be with them and plan their future projects so that they are able to be more present. We don’t know how they plan their careers now that they have the twins, they are still adapting and just finished up what they had started before they added them to their family..

Liliana on

As a single mother, I have to work to provide for my family but even if I didn’t, I’d still keep my career. I’m lucky to have a job that I thoroughly enjoy and I don’t understand why I should have to give that up just because I’m a mother. My priorities are in my place and my children will always be number one but that doesn’t mean I can’t have an identity asside from that.

If a parent (not just a mother) wants to stay home, that’s his or her decision. As long as that person is doing what’s best for his or her family, I don’t see a problem.

Criticizing Sarah and Matthew’s parenting based on interviews is ridiculous. Unless you visit them every day and take note of their interactions with their children, I’m going to assume you don’t have a clue about their life. Since that’s the case, I don’t see how a person is capable of passing judgement.

moose on

Sorry, I like SJP and her husband but I don’t see how both his play and her movie could be impossible to delay. I am sure they could have cast someone other than Mathew. They don’t need the money and they have had more than 9 months warning. Its not a criminal offense, but to me it is bad parenting and strange priorities.

Jessicad on

I love how honest they are, I would have help if I could afford it, and I would probably work a little bit too. Not all women want to stay home 24/7, even if they could. Who wouldn’t take help if you had the money though? Seems like we’ve seen pictures of SJP with the twins and her mother, and didn’t she say the loved the smell of diapers or something? Some of you guys are acting like neither of them are home with the kids and they don’t care about them at all, a tad dramatic. Their situation sounds perfect to me, I’m jealous!

fuzibuni on

tracieleigh… you might want to listen to your own advice.

NikNak on

These babies aren’t adopted, correct? I thought biologically their parents are SJP and MB.

Claire on

Man,some of you can be so judgmental. I’m sure the babies were with her on set and she had a baby nurse with them. She is always very involved with her son and I’m sure she is just as involved with her two girls. Many women, hell, probably 80% of women in the US that are mothers work away from the home. Does this make them all bad too? My coworker and neighbor had to leave their 6 week old babies with daycare providers recently so that they could go back to work. They leave at 7am and get home at 6pm, I”m sure that SJP sees her daughters much more than that. How dare you all attack her when this is commonplace everywhere you look.

SAR on

Oh please. My mother “did it all herself,” with my sister and me. My dad left when I was a toddler, and my mother had to raise her two kids alone, while working full time. If anyone could say that having kids was “tiring,” it’s her. Matthew and Sarah are filthy-rich and have all kinds of help, so forgive me if I have little sympathy for Matthew complaining about the twins being “tiring.”

lina on

th sound of their interviews sure doesnt ring commitment with these children.Maybe is a wrong impression, but for me whenever I read a interview from them about these babies, I think is like a secondary thing in their lives

katie on

claire: are you serious?? is it legal to put a 6 week old baby in daycare in the US? the thought makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Ashleigh on

Katie, are you serious? It is not endangering the child by putting them in daycare at that age. What other options did those mothers have?

CelebBabyLover on

katie- Yes, it is, and unfourtnately, sometimes it has to happen. Maternity leave in the U.S. is often only six weeks.

lina- I doubt they would have gone to all the work they did to have the twins if they didn’t really want them. :)

Tina- They haven’t said, but SJP shared a picture of them on some show (I forget which) a couple of months back, and a lot of people commented on how one of the twins (I think Tabitha) looks just like James as a baby (I’ve never seen good, full-on face pictures of James as a baby, so I can’t comment myself), so I’m guessing the babies are their biological children. :)

If I’m remember correctly, SJP and Matthew have been open about the fact that they used IVF to concieve James. I’m guessing that they probably had some frozen embryos left over from that and had those put into the surrogate. :)

Anna on

Katie, I think it is legal. I know there are even 24 hour daycares for people that work irregular hours. I saw a documentary about it once. Children (and little babies!) were taken from their beds in the middle of the night and brought to day care and than picked up during the day. Why do people have children if they are not willing to give anything up for them?

Luna on

The fact of the matter is, sometimes daycare is very necessary. If you have kids and would like to have a house and food, you need to work. If you can afford the luxury of one parent staying home, fantastic. Great for you. But if the kids are watched by grandma or a daycare or something, its not that you love them any less. You just want them to be provided for.

SJP and Matthew Broderick do not need to work like some other parents but i’m sure they love their children just fine.

sil on

“My coworker and neighbor had to leave their 6 week old babies with daycare providers recently so that they could go back to work. They leave at 7am and get home at 6pm”

6 weeks and already in daycare? wow! I think here in Italy that’s not possible….I’ve always heard that people leave babies on daycare from 7 – 8 months, which is very sad too but 6 weeks is just wow! i can’t believe it…

momof3 on

Katie,
I totally agree…6 week old babies do NOT belong in a daycare situation. Actually, I think they shouldn’t even be with a nanny at that stage but rather bonding with their mom/dad. In canada everyone has the option of a year long maternity leave…although obviously some people do not choose to stay home that long. I’m all for women having choices and families doing what’s right for them but leaving babies at that age is just fundamentally the wrong thing to do, I feel. Obviously, some moms/dads are forced back to work early out of necessity. I don’t think that SJP is one of them and I think it sets a bad example.

Zed on

katie: Unfortunately, in the US, many mothers have to go back to work when their babies are 6 weeks old – that’s all they can afford. Very few companies offer maternity leave, and even if they do, it is often unpaid. I will be lucky enough to be able to take off 4 months unpaid from my job, which I still don’t think is long enough, but I’ll take what I can get and be grateful for it.

Shannon on

#35-”Why do people have children if they are not willing to give anything up for them?”
I have my kids in childcare full-time during the day, and let me tell you, I have given up EVERYTHING for them. To imply that I am not giving enough to my kids b/c they’re in daycare is downright INSULTING. I have given my whole life, my dreams of being a stay at home mother, the career I wanted to have, all of it, just so I can provide for them. I have a job I hate, and it takes me away from them far too much, but it’s what I have to do so they have the things they need. Not everyone is able to stay home, sometimes people face unforseen situations. For me it was an alcoholic abuser of an ex husband who ran out on us to another stare and refuses to help me. Does it then mean I’m not giving anything up for them b/c I was forced to work? I don’t think so. Some people need to start watching what they say. I’m all for having your own opinion, but some of you are just rude and insulting, and usually have no idea what you’re talking about.

And yeah, here in the USA, not only is it legal for a baby to enter daycare at 6 weeks old, most of the time for working parents, it’s the norm. We don’t have the luxury of year long paid maternity leave like most of the world. By law, we get 6 weeks unpaid, and that’s only for certain companies. Some places don’t even have to give that. So before you start harping on parents putting their kids in daycare so young, keep in mind that it’s not the parents’ fault that our country hasn’t yet caught up to the rest of us, and they also don’t give a crap about bonding and attachment. Unlike the rest of the world, the US is a very separtist country. It’s all about being independant, starting right there at birth. Which sucks like you wouldn’t believe, but again, don’t blame the parents for the crappy laws in place here.

Allison on

I am a SAHM and it’s been the right decision for me and my family. I understand some women wanting to work, but what I dont get- the women who want to stay at home and their husbands work, why not live within the financial means of your husbands salary so that you can stay at home? That is what my husband and I decided to do. In fact, if I worked, I would make more money than that of my husband, but I wanted to be with my 2 kids! You have to make priorities in your life.
BTW- I know that if you are a single mom, this does not apply to you so no bashing!!!

Amanda on

I never understood how SOME people say i HAVE to work to support my children..unless you are a SINGLE MOTHER or the SOLE BREADWINNER or you make A LOT of money at your career, there is NO WAY that GOOD QUALITY daycare is less expensive then what you make at your job, especially if your child is there from 7 am til 6 pm. Why even have kids??? You are barely raising your children yourself and then in turn you are probably the same people that bash other people about their parenting skills. I CHOSE to be a stay at home mom, because it’s what I would have preferred but also because I didn’t make anywhere near as much money at my job as I would have been spending to send my child to daycare. For a job that I liked mediocre at best, it was not worth it. We took one car off the road, saved on car insurance and because I was home with my child we actually were able to save more money. NOW, if a woman LOVES her job/career and its a passion in her life, then yes I think she should be able to pursue it, regardless of how much or how little money she makes at it, but don’t go around saying YOU HAD to go back to work…say YOU CHOSE..there is nothing wrong with that.

Anna on

Shannon, I am sorry you cannot be with your children more. I hope you can understand that I was talking about people who choose to be away from their children. I know families where both parents work more than full time jobs so they can keep their luxury vacations and 2 cars etc etc. They hardly see their children. For me money is less important than luxury. SJP and her husband have millions, if they are not seeing their babies grow it is a voluntary choice.

Also, year long paid maternity leave is not the norm in most of the world! Please don’t think it is.

Mi on

Anna,
24 hour daycare is a necessity for many parents working odd hours, what would you suggest they do? Quit ther jobs and live off welfare? No, it’s not an ideal situation and I do not think for a second that the parents feel that either, but in some cases it’s the best they can do.

Fiona on

Yes, I CHOSE to go back to work when my son was 4 months old so I could provide food for him, give him with quality health insurance and a roof (a very modest one, indeed) over his head. These are all things I CHOSE to do.

I’m so tired of this argument. We villainize each other if we do work, we villainize each other if we stay at home.

I work hard – and put my son in daycare – so lots and lots of people can stay home and collect welfare.

Sally on

Shannon – the government does not OWE you anything, including year-long paid maternity leave. The government has no money – it only has your money and I, for one, have no desire for the government to take more of my money and make decisions for my family. Nor is it the government’s or any corporation’s responsibility to subsidize your or my choices. My company is there to provide a good or service – if I am not contributing to that end, they should not have the responsibility to pay me. I am willing to bet that not only would you expect a year-long paid maternity leave, but would scream bloody murder if the man or woman who had been working that whole year got promoted ahead of you.

I have been both a SAHM and a working mom. Both have their benefits and their downsides. My two older kids were in daycare at 6 weeks, my two younger kids had me home full time for the first 6 years. Guess what – they have all grown up to be well-adjusted and successful.

Also, Matthew and SJP also have jobs that create jobs for other families. Pulling out of a project at the last minute means dozens of other families would be scrambling to find other jobs – most people in the film/theater industry only get paid when they are working.

eva on

Before becomming a single parent and sole provider for my child I worked and loved it. I have no desire to pretend that I hated myself for working and having my daughter in the daycare or at her grandparents’.Now I no longer have a choice but my sentiment towards my work has not changed.I love it.It’s part of my identity to work because,unlike many other people,I’ve never seen work as a thing to do.I see it as a privilege and a reason to be excited.

I never knew how hard and easy to judge this would be for other parents until recently.I thought that by being ok with SAHMs doing their thing and making their decision I would not have to justify myself and pretend to hate being a working mother to please the crowds.However,the motherhood mafia is always out there to point fingers.

Modesty aside,I am a great mother.My intelligent and happy daughter is living testimony to that. I got a lot of help and continue to get it,from my late husband,my family and my friends, but my child is my masterpiece.I did not use SAHM’s magic formula for perfect child of staying at home and following my child’s every step from the minute we met,many times I didn’t cook her dinners and there were others when I didn’t put her in bed because I had to work extra hours.Extra hours to educate other people’s children in need.I knew K was going to be ok without me for a night,not every single passing night but one night once in a while was fine.Sorry to tell you OCD SAMHs but there are other paths towards a happy and fulfilling childhood,and children can still grow adjusted,healthy and feeling loved with working parents.Yes,I know that your children’s childhoods and your own experiences are a thousand times more real and legitimate,and that working mothers who love their work are just pretending to parent.

In the end,the results are there:happy kids who have had great memories of growing up and having a close relationship with their parents,regardless of where and when you work.So yes,even if I was not a widow earning every penny to feed my little one,I would work and I would not feel bad about it.I am not cut out to be you and you are not fit to be me,and that’s great because neither one of us wants what the other has.

B on

Honestly I am so tired of Mothers putting down other Mothers. Yes some of us have the opportunity to stay home but there are other Mothers that don’t have that opportunity or they actually like their jobs and feel like they taking care of their children by providing a life in the future for them. How dare anyone say why have a child if you are just going to put them in Daycare and yes there are some mothers who HAVE to work to support their children. My mother was one, she didn’t have the option to stay home and she was (is) a wonderful mother.
I just have one question why are you judging mothers for putting children in daycare when they grow up and go to school. I wish that there was more respect between women, mind your own business and raise your children the way you feel is best for your family and let the rest of us do the same. Get off your high horse and realize that we actually know what we are doing.

Laura on

I’m glad they admitted there is a nurse that helps them. nothing wrong with it, I’m just glad they don’t lie and say they do it completely by themselves.

I am surprised we are still having this SAHM vs. working mom debate. It is 2010 for goodness sake! We as women have more choices than ever now, and instead of the men being the ones to say “you can’t do it” our own gender is saying that?? I personally would LOVE to be a SAHM someday. Not because I think it’s better for my children, I see nothing wrong with daycare. I went to daycare from the time I was 6 weeks old until I entered school fulltime. I turned out just fine! I want to be a SAHM because that is MY dream. If it doesn’t work out, and I need to have a job so I can support my kid(s) then I will do it. I’d certainly rather be a working mom than not a mom at all. And if people enjoy having a job and want to work then why shouldn’t they? Or if they have to work for financial reasons. Whatever I end up having to do later in life, I will not question the other mothers around me as to why they choose their path (be it SAHM or working mom) because I personally don’t care! I’m going to do what I feel is right for me and my family and that is all that should matter!

Ashleigh on

Eva and B, I completely agree with both of you.

Each mother does what’s best for her child/children. How dare anyone have the audacity to judge them for that. Whether a mother stays at home or works has no bearing on whether or not she’s a good parent so long as her top priority is her children.

Both my husband and I work so our children attend daycare three days a week while my husband’s step mother watches them the other two since it coincides with her work schedule. I’m currently on maternity leave but will return to work when my son is eight weeks. Despite everything, I thoroughly enjoy my job. I’ve worked hard to achieve my goals and that didn’t change when I became a mother. My children come first; that’s a no brainer, but my career is important to me. I refuse to apologize for that. Just because I enjoy being a working mother does not mean I’m a bad parent who shoves her children off on the first person who’ll watch them.

To make the comment about “why even have kids” is completely ignorant. Despite what you may think, I can have children and a career. I do and it’s what works best for me. Staying at home works best for others. As long as we’re striving to be the best parents possible, why does it matter?

Kerri on

When I have children, I’ll return to work, regardless of whether or not I have to. You don’t stop being an independently functioning person just because you start being a mom. It’s OK to still do things for yourself. In fact, I’d argue that it’s more than OK; it’s HEALTHY. You don’t stop being who you were before you had kids. Kids just add a new element.

Belle on

So sad to hear these comments. Why does anyone care what another mother chooses to do with her children? How about just supporting one another, since all us moms know how difficult parenting can be at times.
My friends all live different lives, some work part time, some full time, some, like myself, stay home. we all love our kids very, very much. I support them and their decisions, and pass no judgment.
Hopefully some of you ladies can start doing the same.

Also, I am so fortunate to live in Canada. We get a full year maternity, paid leave, if we choose to take it.
I am sure it must be hard for many women going back to work so early. We just do what we got to do!

momof4 on

In case some of you are not aware, not being raised full-time by a loving parent and put in daycare at a very young age causes lots of children to develop attachment issues which MAY result in any number of emotional or psychological issues in adulthood. So to say that it’s each families choice is not exactly accurate because as a society we are all affected by this.

It has been greatly researched that babies and young children benefit incredibly from having a parent with them full-time to bond with and conversely that not having the stability of a parent caregiver causes stress in children.

I’m sorry if this seems to some working parents like a statement of non-support but the research is there to support this. In Europe or other cultures where mothers are more supported and given longer maternity leave and the culture values this bond, babies are breastfed longer which results in better physical and emotional health. I wish the U.S. valued this, as well, but we live in a country that places more importance in the workplace.

I find it incredibly sad that SJP left her newborn twins for an extended time and that one baby was reaching for her through the computer screen. The image of that is painful. Those babies needed her to hold them, feed them, provide them with stability. It’s not just an opinion, it’s a biological need.

eva on

Well,research on!because some of the most bratty,spoiled,insecure and lazy adults I’ve met were raised by full-time stay at home mothers.I’m not saying that it’s because of their mother’s decision to live at home but no matter how much comfort SAHMs get from these “studies”,the truth is that you are not insured for life with a happy and well adjusted kid.I have also read my handful of studies that say very different things about children who learn to cooperate and mature faster in day-care experiences but they’re not my bible,nor do I think it’s the ultimate truth.

It’s really too bad that scholarship is used as a tool to evaluate the emotional stability and future productivity of our children.So very judgemental and conventional of SAHMs to think that our kids are screwed for life because they live differently.Endless studies say infinite amount of different things,all the time, everywhere,depending on the agenda and time when they are conducted.Besides,staying at home does not mean the child has a loving parent or that being at work prevents us from fulfilling their biological needs. To play the game,I read in a recent studies that working mothers spend a greater amount of quality and bonding time with their children because they have to prioritize and organize their time around them.

For me this has nothing to do with SJP or her children.Some working mothers are great moms, and others are not so great,how to know which one is SJP? and why should we care for that matter? We’re talking about celebrities and their children here,so everyone must think very poorly of all the parents they see here, or at least the mothers.For me,this is about spreading the truth about the SAHM vs Working mom debate.It’s unproductive,self-righteous and immature to validate your choices and lifestyle by diminishing and judging others who are different.

momof3 on

This makes me so upset. I don’t care how much you love your career, I can’t imagine leaving my child at 8 weeks old. Am I the only one? We’re talking about very young babies–not toddlers or preschoolers. It seems so selfish to me to leave a baby that you just had a few weeks ago if you have the OPTION of you or your partner staying at home. Plus they are so needy at that stage and as a mom you’re still exhausted. How are you benefiting your family? Sorry. I don’t get it unless there is an absolute financial need.

Shannon on

Sally, I wasn’t trying to say the government or a job owed me anything. I was trying to point out to people who were freaking out about moms having to return to work so soon that we don’t necessarily have a choice. The fact is, most developed countries give parents a long (6-12 month) paid maternity leave. This is so parents can spend time bonding with and caring for their children. So many other countries place much more value on families than the US does. That much is obvious. Please don’t start tearing people apart when you completely missed the point they were getting at.

And for the record, I was passed up for a promotion while I was out on maternity leave, by someone who had a lot less time and experience with the company than I did. That’s the way it goes. They were here and working. I was not. Oh well. :)

AnaLu on

Gotta love a website about working mothers (actresses and singers) that SAHMS use to slam and destroy working mothers. You can’t make this up!I think it is time for someone to come up with a specific blog for working moms so that we may feel appreciated and valued as mothers from time to time.We’ve got celebrity babies and black celebrity babies,time for celebrity babies for perfect,flawless mothers and celebrity babies for women not interested in judgement.

AnaLu on

and also,we need that new blog so that mommies don’t have to feel sad,distraught,terrified and offended by what a perfect and total stranger with no relevance to their lives do with their family lives.

Allison on

MOMOF3— I AM SOOOO WITH YOU!

Jessicad on

I doubt she could put the new Sex and the city movie on hold, and most of us don’t live in a world of having millions of dollars so how can we compare? If you made that kind of money you probably wouldn’t maintain the lifestyle you had before, you’d live in a bigger house, buy nicer things, and live within those means. I’m sure actors have a ton of pressure when it comes to work, you can’t just walk away from that job for a few yeas and think it will be there when you return.

I understand that it upsets some of you, but why do you have to rip her for her choice? I’m glad she went back to work, trust me I’ll be getting a babysitter and enjoying a break from my daughter while I watch her new movie. And again it’s not like she up and left her kids for months at a time, she shot a movie in the city she LIVES IN and probably had them on set all the time anyway.

sat on

whoowee, glad I just have a dog! And even he is living at grandpa’s house right now while I travel ;) BTW my best friend who is a single working mom of twin girls is the best mom I know, hands down.

Elby on

Whoa! What an argument.
The whole nursery v SAHM thing is surely old now? Some women work, some don’t, given that it’s 2010 we can get over this right? Each family/parent needs to do what they feel is right for them, 3 years ago my husband negotiated with his company to condense 5 days worth of work into 4 days, although this sounds crazy it means he’s actually at home more; he works in the City, leaves early Monday morning and comes home Thursday night. If he still did it the old way he’d leave early every morning, come home after kids bedtime each night and only see the kids at the weekend. I work all day Thursdays and Fridays, Thursdays the kids are at nursery and Fridays my husband cares for them. And we get a nice relaxed family weekend, with 2 happy, unstressed parents and 4 happy kids. That’s what works for us right now if in the future it stops working we’ll reconsider and arrange something new.
Instead of jumping down each others throats let’s celebrate our achievements as mothers.

acmommy on

Are some of you forgetting that while yes, they both were working on projects, they were both working on them in the same town that they live in? I saw many pics of the twins on set with their mother. I’m sure she spent some of her down time with them (and yes with the nannies too). Some of you are acting like they packed up and left to go film on location for three months. I’m sure those are the same ones who complained of seeing pics of them walking their son to school EVERY day. Obviously they were around even though they were working.

Ashleigh on

Momof3, eight weeks is the period of time I’m allowed maternity leave. This was the case for my daughter two years ago and she is a happy, well-adjusted toddler. Just because you wouldn’t go back to work, you do not have the right to call me selfish for making a different decision. Regardless of what you may think, I love my children just as much as you do but I don’t adhere to the belief that because I’m a mother, I must stay at home and look after my children.

In many ways, having a career is something I do for myself. I enjoy it immensely and constantly feel like I’m bettering myself as an individual. That, in return, benefits my family.

Alice on

Their situation is temporary. It isn’t like working parents who have to go back to work for good. They can take as much time off as they want just by stopping taking on new projects. They are not depriving their babies of anything they need. As far as I know SJP has no other film project after SATC2 is done.

It isn’t possible to delay/cancel a (big!) movie just like this, especially not for actors, because they can bring their children to the set and be with them between takes.

DiamondGirl on

I don’t know where people are getting the idea that SJP had the twins on the set of the movie.

Matthew says above that “she was away working” and had to leave them a lot which sounds like she was not with the twins during that time.

As a side note, I never realized how much James Wilkie resembles Matthew until I saw WarGames again recently, with Matthew very young in it. Very clearly father and son !

Lee on

Diamondgirl-There are plenty of pictures of the twins on her set

Momof3-I don’t get what you are trying to do. Insulting working mothers isn’t going to change things.

Laura on

I think people are missing the part of this where dual working celebrity parents are typically absent from their children for WAY more hours than a typical 40-50 hr week “normal person” job. As a SAHM who rarely separates from her babies when they are little, it’s shocking enough to think of 6-8 week-olds in institutional daycare for the overwhelming majority of their waking hours, but in SJP and MB’s situation, it sounds like (we don’t know for sure, just based on typical time on film sets) one or both of them was probably away for 14-16 hours a day.

Considering young babies sleep about 15 hours a day or more, it really doesn’t leave much overlap for them to have meaningful interaction with the twins. Maybe some people are fine seeing their infants for 30 min a day or less – maybe that’s satisfying and feels normal to them, like just a little side time with their kids – but it’s sad to me that that is what passes for good parenting. I know people object to hearing about children “raised by nannies”, but when 80-90% of your time is spent with a nanny, let’s just be honest here….the nanny is the primary attachment and the parent is peripheral. Babies are hard-wired to bond with their primary caretaker; the research is very clear.

Also, I think the reason people feel there is a difference between the “help” that “normal” people get and the baby nurse situation of celebrities is that “normal” working parents come home, take over child care, cook, clean, etc. With celebrity parents, the baby nurse/nanny is often there round the clock. It’s a level of help WAY beyond the norm. Coming home at 8:30pm (if that) to a maid-cleaned house, a nanny who has fed and bathed your kids and tucked them in, waiting for your contribution of a story and goodnight kiss, and then having an assistant to handle all of life’s parenting and domestic minutiae is NOT the same as the average working parent. Having someone who wakes up in the night with your babies, shuttles them to activities, oversees their homework, packs their lunches, laundry, keeping a house clean, and all the other mundane but exhausting things a “normal” parent does (in addition to either that day at work or that day at home with kids) is help FAR beyond what the normal person realm.

I think THAT’s what people are reacting to. “Regular people” nannies/babysitters aren’t the same as their celebrity counterparts. And life with hired help to outsource everything but work and what little parenting can be jammed in around it is not the same life that most of us are living.

CelebBabyLover on

DiamondGirl- Well, the twins WERE seen on set a few times. That’s why people are pointing out that she had them on set. :) I think Matthew just meant that they had to rely on the nannies to watch the twins a lot, both on set and at home. :)

Jessicad- I couldn’t agree more. I highly doubt SJP could have just walked away from SATC 2. We need to remember that actors are bound by a thing called a contract! :)

Anyway, in regards to the comments on this post, especially the SAHM vs. working moms ones, I think we all need to take some deep breaths, calm down, and re-read Jennifer Garner’s comments from a week or so ago (about how we women should take care of each other and not constantly tear each other apart). :)

Sadie on

Never mind judging SJP and Matthew, I actually feel sorry for them. They’ll never get this time back with their babies again. Each to their own, but leaving my newborns with a baby nurse for long hours when I had the finances and power to spend the time with them myself is something I would always, always regret.
My heart goes out to mothers and fathers who have to work and leave their babies for long hours in the care of others. It is a situation which is not nice for anyone. But when you’re ridiculously rich and don’t “need” to work, and put your children in long care? Well, that’s priorities all wrong to me.

Sarah K. on

I fail to understand why women are always holding each other back. We have fought and continue to fight to have an equal say in the world and to be able to make our own choices. It’s just sad that women are always criticizing each other. I find it pretty disturbing that although this is an interview of Matthew, most of the bashers seems to be targeting SJP as the one who “left her babies.” Does Matthew not share in parenting responsibilities?

I have seen some bad parents and SJP and Matthew don’t even rank. Their children are well taken care of, loved and in a stable home. James seems to be a well-adjusted, unspoiled child. There is no formula for raising children and I’m pretty sure a lot of SAHMs aren’t so perfect themselves so get off your high horse.

momof4 on

I really don’t understand the argument of, “let’s support each other and not tear each other down”.

As someone who feels strongly that babies and young children should not be put into daycare why should I not express my feelings on that?

I honestly feel very sad when I hear of babies that are separated from their mother. I feel that it is every baby’s right to have its’ mother’s full-time care and presence in the first years of its’ life.

I wish that more women valued that sentiment and did the research on this to realize how much babies benefit from this and what the ramifications of not having this attachment are.

I think it does women a disservice to say things like, “it’s 2010, women have a choice.” I don’t care what year it is or how equal women are in the workplace, the fact that babies biologically need their mothers doesn’t change. We birth them. We nurse them. We are hard-wired to care for them.
I consider women to be the lucky gender because of that and I feel honored to embrace my role as mother.

mrsh on

I’m a SAHM, and I have no help. I stay at home largely because my old job didn’t pay me enough to make going back to work worth it, and I don’t have help because I’m a control freak (yep, I admit this freely) and refuse to accept help even from my parents. I am one of those people that lives by the motto, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” It’s just how I am, and I honestly wish it weren’t. Taking care of my kid without assistance is exhausting. Most people aren’t like me, and I think they’re better off for it! I think it’s easier to enjoy your children when you aren’t with them 24/7. At least, that’s what my husband always tells me.

Ashleigh on

Momof4, that’s your choice to stay at home with your children but it shouldn’t make you feel like the superior parent because of it.

Going by your sentiments, working mothers, who are employed by choice, should not have a career because they need to be with their children 24/7.

While you may feel sorry for infants and toddlers in daycare, most of the time, you can save your pity.

I did give birth to my children, nursed them, am bonded to them, and do take care of them. I also work. My children are not worse off because of it.

Also, not only mothers or females “are hard-wired to care” for children. If a father is present, he can do the same. Does that mean fathers who stay at home with their children aren’t bonded to them because they’re not “wired” for that type of duty?

momof4 on

Ashleigh said, “Going by your sentiments, working mothers, who are employed by choice, should not have a career because they need to be with their children 24/7.”

Yes. I feel that the babies and young children should always be with a parent if the financial means are there to support that.

Are you saying that you do not value the important bond of a mother or father being home with a baby or toddler full time? Being in daycare for several hours a day is not detrimental at all and is equal to being with a parent?

Ashleigh on

I’m not saying that at all but bonding with children does not necessarily mean one must be with them every moment of every single day. That’s where your opinion and mine differ.

I’m with my children far more than they are in daycare and I’ve had no bonding issues nor have my children experienced detrimental effects because of it.

We’ll just have to agree to disagree. You do what’s best for your children; I do what’s best for mine.

Lee on

momof3, you still refuse to get it. You come across as someone who enjoys putting down other parents.That’s never okay and you should know that. It’s not about being concerned with the children, it’s all about enjoying feeling like the better parent

momof4 on

Lee, did you mean me (momof4)? If so, perhaps I struck a nerve and you are taking this personally? I do not enjoy “putting down other parents” at all. I am indeed concerned with children and I have seen firsthand the effects of children lacking a proper attachment due to early separation. This discussion is about differing opinions on leaving babies and small children in daycare while parents who might not necessarily need to work do so. I don’t agree with it and others don’t see the harm in it. Please do not accuse me of simply putting down others for the sake of it.

Lee on

Actually momof4, you didn’t hit a nerve with me. I believe I hit a nerve with you. I just don’t understand why people like you think it’s okay to judge other parents. I think your comments prove that I’m correct when I say that you do this to brag.

momof4 on

How is this topic hitting a nerve with me, Lee? I am confident and content with my parenting decisions. You know that I’m a SAHM of four children and you know my stance on this topic, what is your situation and why do you feel the way you do? Are you a working parent of a young child?

Obviously my opinion coming across as judgment to you indicates that I am hitting a nerve with you.

You seem more intent on attacking me than on backing up your opinion on this topic, whatever that is. I am curious why my opinion causes you to insult me. Are you content with your choices?

CelebBabyLover on

momof4- I understand what Lee’s saying. It’s fine to have an opinion, but, IMO, you don’t seem to be tolorating OUR opinions very well. Your posts come across (again, IMO), as, to be frank, bashing everyone that has a different opinion than you.

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