Layla Kayleigh’s Blog: Pretty in Pink!

Courtesy Layla Kayleigh for use on CBB

America’s Best Dance Crew co-host Layla Kayleigh is letting CBB readers follow along as she tackles first-time motherhood — daughter Melody Rain is now 3 months old.

If you missed Layla‘s prior entries, click here to read!

Pretty in Pink

Growing up I was a tomboy — not by choice. My mom would shave my head (she said it would make my hair thicker), put me in overalls and would tell me that big strong girls didn’t wear frills, pink bows and things of that nature.

I didn’t turn out so bad I guess, although I think I love to play dress up myself now for all the years I spent being mistaken as a boy!

When I had Melody, I made a promise to myself that as she gets old enough to understand, I will let her form her own identity. I’ll just be there to encourage and support her without exerting my opinion on her one way or the other.

Whether she wants to dress as a cowboy or a ballerina! Or if she chooses to take dance classes or to play baseball, I’ll be there cheering her on no matter what.

I feel it’s important for children to be themselves, to find their own likes and dislikes without being pushed into anything. But what do I know? I’ve only been a mom for a couple of months! Maybe down the road my feelings will change and I’ll turn into a dictator of a mother! (Let’s hope not.)

More from Layla (and the story behind that dress!) below.

Anyhoo, a few days ago I was going through her closet sorting through all the lovely clothes we had been sent as gifts and I came across this pretty pink dress that was for 3-month-olds. It looked like she had already outgrown it (she’s barely 3 months and most of her 3-6 month clothes are too small for her!) I decided to try it on her anyway.

She looked so adorable I couldn’t resist snapping a few pics for her baby book. I thought to myself, ‘The moment she starts to fuss I’m going to take it right off,’ but she actually seemed to like it. She was in a bad mood that day and when I got her dressed up she was all smiles for the camera. Maybe she’s practicing for a career in showbiz!

I can’t imagine dressing her like this every day as a baby because it just doesn’t look like it would be comfortable. Steven really liked it though — I feel he thinks that he and Melody are so much alike he sometimes forgets that she’s a girl! So seeing his little princess all dressed up was a treat for him.

How do you guys feel about how you or other parents dress their babies/children? Is there something that you really like or something that you feel is inappropriate?

I’d love to hear your feedback. In the meantime, here’s a picture of Melody in pink, frills and all!

Much love,

Layla

Comments

adorable!!! absolutely gorgeous!

- chrissy on January 27th, 2010

Shes gorgeous! the most beautiful little thing! the dress is lovely goes with her skin really well, her hairs getting so long now! and i totally understand what she says i like how the Jolie-Pitts let there children dress there own way i think it helps them become who they are, great blog

- Emma on January 27th, 2010

Ooooh she’s so scrumptious! Make the most of being able to dress her up in cute outfits while you can cos they’ll become really impractical soon enough. I love cutesy outfits like that and my 3 year old daughters love to play dressing up but for everyday use climbing trees, riding scooters, playing in the park etc it’s not so good. Though convincing a 3 year old of that fact is not so easy!
My 21 month sons have yet to voice much of an opinion on clothes thankfully so I’m all about jeans, trousers or dungarees with t-shirts and a jumper. They can run, jump and play to their hearts content which makes me wish my daughters were a bit less girly sometimes. Obviously I’m happy with them being who they are and support their choices as much as possible but 3 year olds don’t think practically especially when they’ve got their twin sister to back them up!

- Elby on January 27th, 2010

I constantly have to remind myself that it’s really not my business how other people dress their children. Still, I really think it’s human nature, given our ability to think and reason, that we form opinions and make mental comparisons about almost everything we encounter.

My personal taste probably comes from growing up hearing my mother lament that little kids are so often dressed as miniature adults. Like her, I tend to believe that babies should dress in clothes that is unique to their age. So, I’d favor light colored clothing, booties, and bonnets, etc.

But, I hope to also be aware not to force gender stereotypes on my child (though I realize it is in some ways unavoidable, and that I will never be the only influencer in their lives) and I truly hope that I’m OK with and encouraging of a little boy who likes pink, or a little girl who refuses dresses.

- Xan on January 27th, 2010

What a beautiful little girl you have Layla.

- Brandi on January 27th, 2010

She is adorable!!
I agree that babies should be dressed as babies. Though I don’t judge when they are dressed up, because I too have little girls and sundresses were and still are a favorite item in their wardrobes. More dressy types are okay on special occasions too.
I guess I do have a problem letting kids choose their own clothes because they don’t always choose appropriate clothes. I seriously dislike character clothing and if we are leaving the house I do make sure my kids are dressed in clean clothes that match….if we are staying home for the day they can wear whatever they would like. I don’t buy those kinds of clothes though and if something is all stained I usually throw it away or cut it up to use as a rag. I wouldn’t buy my teen daughter clothes that show her midriff or cleavage or clothes for my son that show his underwear or make him look like a ‘gangster’, but hopefully I’m raising them in a way where they won’t even want to dress like that.

- Amanda on January 27th, 2010

Gorgeous. She looks like a little doll.

- Shan on January 27th, 2010

She’s beautiful!

When my daughters were younger I found anything that WASN’T a onesie to be a pain in the butt for everyday wear…everything else seemed to “rise up”, but I did look forward to special occasions where I could throw on a fancy dress!

Now my girls are 8 and 5 and I pretty much let them wear whatever they want as long as it is appropriate for school and the weather. Some of the things they put on are hilarious, but they seem full of confidence in it so I let it go!!

- Deadra on January 27th, 2010

Funny-this topic came up just as I’m writing a paper on various pychological theories of gender development, including a principle which states that toddlers would just need to change clothes, toys, and haircuts to change genders. This is a hard topic; gender stereotyping is something that has passed down for so long that there’s little to nothing we ca do to stop it. The best thing we can do is be aware of it so that we can use it to our advantage instead of feeding into mindless stereotypes about boys and girls. This is especially important since boys and girls learn “gender appropriate and inappropriate” behavior from a variety of role models of both sexes. So talking about these stereotypes with them on their level as soon as they’re toddlers will help a lot.

Personally, fashion is my biggest vice, and the thought of dressing a daughter makes me giddy. I also know that she may not have the same affinity for earrings and ruffles that I do. And putting aside my own desires to satisfy her as a person would be hard. Nicole Kidman once said the hardest part of parenting is not forcing your own ideals on your children and allowing them to be who they are destined to be. I think that’s very true. But I also think Melody looks SO CUTE in that dress.

And now, back to my paper…

- Lauren on January 27th, 2010

As a mother of four children, I’ve noticed that each one, from very early on, has their own distinct personality. As they get older, their personal preferences are reflected in a multitude of different ways.

My youngest two, ages 2 and 15 months, are mostly too young to have a stance on what they will or won’t wear. Since their opinions aren’t formed as much as my older children’s, it’s much easier to dress them. Unless a special occassion occurs, I try to find items that are comfortable and can face the wear and tear of toddlers.

My older two are another story. I think it’s extremely important for children to create their own identity and at 6 and 4, versatile clothing options are one of the most common ways for them to do so. My 6 year old has always loved sparkles, frills, and dresses while my 4 year old refuses to wear skirts, dresses, the color pink, or anything with butterflies, flowers, etc. Today, my eldest wore a pink, sweater shirt with heart leggings while her sister wore her favorite Batman t-shirt to accompany her usual Spiderman backpack. They’re polar opposites but that’s okay.

As long as their clothing is weather appropriate and not obscene or offensive, who cares?

- Nina on January 27th, 2010

She looks like a doll. She is beautiful. God Bless her.
Benigna Marko

- Benigna Marko on January 27th, 2010

Oh gosh, that is just the CUTEST thing!

It’s cuties like those and blogs like this that give me and my husband the baby itch! We can’t wait to get started on our own!

- {JeLisa} on January 27th, 2010

And by the way, one of the things I look forward to the most is finding out what my {future} kids are into. That definitely includes fashion.

- {JeLisa} on January 27th, 2010

I feel like my girls personalities are ever-changing. They never really stay the same from month to month. But as long as they are happy!

- lilireese on January 27th, 2010

Ahhh! She is sooo cute! I can’t wait to have kids! I’m way too girly! If I had a daughter it would be fashion, fashion, fashion! I’m 14 so i have a while to go, but i am looking forward to it!

- paige on January 27th, 2010

The baby is super pretty!!!!Well, as a twin me and my sister used to pick our clothes and although they were very similar we always chose different colours, me the girlie ones and my sister the boyish ones!!!And it still goes like that!!!!I’m very happy that she let us wear whatever we wanted!

I think Layla that although you don’t want to make your mother feel bad that you didn’t like the way she handled the matter, it seems that it’s a bit of a traumatic experience for you, so I think you should do what feels natural to you!Every mother makes these decisions based on her character and her child’s character!This isn’t a matter of tradition, so forget what your mother would do and think about what you want your daughter to say about you when she’s older!

From the blog I think anyone could tell how much you and your husband love this child and that’s so wonderful that even if you make mistakes along the way, your child will always remember the love, not the mistakes!!!!!!

- Christina Greece on January 28th, 2010

I’ve always liked dressing kids in full out gender stereotypes because, honestly, the most annoying thing in the world to me is when my daughters were mistaken for boys. Hello, two little girls, blue hair bows, t shirts with blue flowers and cute little gardeny pants and I was asked, how old are your BOYS? So i decided that until they look like the gender they are, boys blue, girls pink. Not to say i won’t cross over every so often but it’s usually stereotypical. My older ones are another story. Weather appropriate? Not obscene? No going to hurt them (i.e. long, long pants for tripping)? Go ahead.

- Luna on January 28th, 2010

Hey Luna! I have been out with baby/toddler girls dressed in pink dresses and have still gotten that question!

- MiB on January 28th, 2010

OMG, she is so precious!! Makes me want another girl sooooo bad!!

- Delaina on January 28th, 2010

How amazing that a three month old can put on a dress and feel beautiful! She is a gorgeous little girl that’s for sure.

- Deanna on January 28th, 2010

That baby is so adorable!

As for how OTHER people dress their children… I cannot stand it when people put their little 3 year olds (like Suri Cruise) in high heels! UGH! Let them be children!

My daughter is about to be 11 months old, and while I love dresses and all things girly, I dress her comfortable but cute. A lot of times that means just little cotton t-shirts and pants, and I already have a bunch of short-sleeve cotton dresses from carters for this summer… I think you can always dress your child cute, but remember, they’re a CHILD. Dress them appropriately!

- Amy on January 28th, 2010

This little girl is adorable!

- J on January 28th, 2010

I totally agree with you amy my 11 month old is always dressed cute but comfortable carters is the best

- Sarah on January 28th, 2010

i think a lot of people would agree with Luna, and hence the prevalence of pinks and bows for girls, and blues for boys. it’s also probably why people get bent when a little boy has long hair. we like it to be very clear what gender a child is. confusion is uncomfortable for many.

personally, i don’t think it should really matter when they are that young. i wouldn’t be offended if someone mistook my baby for the wrong sex… it’s no big deal. i wouldn’t put a bow on just to make it clear. there will be plenty of time for the baby to grow up and show the world who they are in the future.

that said, i don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with putting a dress on a girl… layla looks pretty cute here, and really, it’s just a dress. but when people start telling their children to “act like a lady” or “be a little man” things can get complicated.

- fuzibuni on January 28th, 2010

Melody is just a yummy angel! All smiles and I think that was a wave of the hand! I adore her!

- FC on January 28th, 2010

What a pretty little princess!!

My daughter has been opinionated about clothing choice from about 18 months old. I try to provide her with comfy yet stylish clothing, then let her choose what she wants to wear. Actually I make a lot of her clothes. This works out well because she shares my love of beautiful clothing and I can let her help me choose fabric.

- Krystin on May 17th, 2010