Matt Damon Says Children Aren't Naturally Prejudiced

George Pimentel/WireImage

In his new film Invictus, Matt Damon portrays Francois Pienaar, captain of the South African rugby team as apartheid in that country was coming to an end.

The 39-year-old actor says that as a father, teaching tolerance is a priority — but there isn’t much to be taught, for he doesn’t believe “it’s a natural state for children to be prejudiced.”

Citing stepdaughter Alexia, 11, as an example, Matt tells PARADE he recently attempted to explain the concept of segregation without much success.

“We talked about Alabama in the ’60s, and she was utterly baffled,” he reveals.

“Alexia is very dark — her father is Cuban, and my wife’s Argentinean — so I tried to explain that she probably would not have been able to use white water fountains. She goes to school with all types of kids and plays with everyone, so it was a lot for her to grasp.”

Matt and wife Luciana are also parents to Isabella, 3, and Gia Zavala, 15 months. Invictus is in theaters Friday.

Source: PARADE

– Missy

Comments

I agree with Matt Damon. Tolerance IS a priority.

- nettrice on December 10th, 2009

My almost 7 year old niece had a similar reaction when my grandmother (her great-grandmother ofcourse) told her how she wasn’t able to go into certain places when she was a little girl b/c of her color. My niece goes to a predominantly white school in Minnesota and she was just perplexed that people would treat each other differently b/c of their skin color. She rightly stated, “Well, that’s dumb!” So simple, so true.

- dee on December 10th, 2009

Agreed…

- Lola Marie on December 10th, 2009

I beg to differ. Matt might want to spend a day at the playground with me and my special needs niece (who is smart as a whip, she just looks different and can’t walk as well as “your” kid). Watch boys circle around her like vultures, making fun of her face, and watch girls tell her to get away from them, to play with someone else because they aren’t her friend. Trust me, once kids hit about 5, they do hit a stage where prejudice and discrimination based on looks is an issue, and as parents/teachers, we have a responsibility to educate them about kindness and tolerance. Please don’t assume that your kid is an angel and would never do that. There is some form of “different” out there that will scare your kid, and that’s when your kid will become a bit of a bully.

- janelle on December 10th, 2009

I don’t think we should assume our children are neither angels nor bullies. All we can do is teach them right from wrong, kindness from mean-spiritedness and hope they use our teachings wisely. I think some children are naturally more open and accepting than others; regardless of whether or not their parents teach them to be or not.

- mommaruthsays on December 10th, 2009

Great post, janelle [we have the same name, different spelling, tho ]…

- J on December 10th, 2009

janelle:

I agree that no one should ever assume their child *can’t* be a bully because kids can definitely be cruel. But at the same time, I agree with Matt in that children are (almost) never prejudiced by nature–it is a learned behavior from environmental factors, but mostly parental modeling IMO. I think kids are born with certain personality tendencies (ie some are naturally more talkative than others) but prejudices like sexism, racism, elitism…a child won’t demonstrate those unless they were taught to by word and/or action of their role models. I blame the ignorant parents of the kids who mistreated your niece.

- Erica on December 10th, 2009

I completely agree Erica. It’s a learned behaviour whether from their parents or other children (or TV, etc.). I’m sorry that happens to your niece Janelle.

- Natasha on December 10th, 2009

I have known Matt Damon to be an intensely private person who very rarely speaks of his children. I find it very funny (read: disappointing) that all of a sudden he choses to open up about how “very dark” his wife’s daughter is in an attempt to promote his latest film – I guess he just ran out of things to say…

- Chicki on December 10th, 2009

I’m kind of in the middle- if a kid notices something different about a child, it is sort of natural for them to either be curious and hang around them more, or just stay away. Parents need to enforce positive behavior.

- Erika on December 10th, 2009

I agree with Matt. I’m Caucasian. I nanny for a Caucasian family with a biological 4 year old son, they just adopted a 1 year old girl from Ethiopia. The little girl is fairly light skinned, but you can still definitely tell that she’s African American! She is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!! I just hope that neither she or her brother have to deal with too much prejudice simply because they are now a mixed-race family! All I’ve heard so far from anyone is “Oh, she’s so beautiful!”. There are sometimes questions, of course, but I haven’t heard or seen anything negative thus far. (I don’t mean to offend anyone with my terminology, it’s hard to tell which descriptions are politically correct sometimes. )

- Sarah M. on December 10th, 2009

How can him saying Alexia is very dark be construed as a negative? If he was trying to give her an example of racial discrimination and used her complection as part of that example then what is the problem? Would it be better if he said “not fair skinned”?

- bre on December 11th, 2009

I love matt Damon films and am def gonna see Invictus.

And he is totally right about the children not prejuduice part as it’s unfortunately something learned :/

- Kelly on December 11th, 2009

I guess I’m in the middle, too. I also believe that teaching tolerance is a priority but I also think that it does need to be taught and modelled. I’m not sure that it comes completely naturally.

Newsweek had an interesting article recently on children and discrimination:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/214989

Below is an excerpt:

It takes remarkably little for children to develop in-group preferences. Vittrup’s mentor at the University of Texas, Rebecca Bigler, ran an experiment in three preschool classrooms, where 4- and 5-year-olds were lined up and given T shirts. Half the kids were randomly given blue T shirts, half red. The children wore the shirts for three weeks. During that time, the teachers never mentioned their colors and never grouped the kids by shirt color.

The kids didn’t segregate in their behavior. They played with each other freely at recess. But when asked which color team was better to belong to, or which team might win a race, they chose their own color. They believed they were smarter than the other color. “The Reds never showed hatred for Blues,” Bigler observed. “It was more like, ‘Blues are fine, but not as good as us.’ ” When Reds were asked how many Reds were nice, they’d answer, “All of us.” Asked how many Blues were nice, they’d answer, “Some.” Some of the Blues were mean, and some were dumb—but not the Reds.

- Sami on December 11th, 2009

Erica, I don’t think it’s ALWAYS the parents’ fault. Prejudice can be learned elsewhere. My much younger cousin, like myself, is bi-racial. One day the principal called my aunt, saying my cousin had told another girl she couldn’t play with her because she was Black. My aunt was MORTIFIED! She said to the principal “My own daughter is biracial. I can’t believe she said that!” My aunt, uncle, and cousin had a VERY long talk that night, needless to say. My cousin felt terrible; she’d had no idea what she said actually meant. So I agree that prejudice is taught, but don’t be so quick to place the blame on the “ignorant parents.”

- marfmom on December 11th, 2009

I agree with Janell! As a special education teacher of preschool aged children, I believe that although young children don’t necessarily act “prejudiced” as an adult would define it, they do notice differences among themselves and others and often question those differences. It is up to the adults in their lives to TEACH them about those differences and how to be respectful of them. There are many educational programs regarding “teaching tolerance” and I believe that they should be taught and in action in every preschool program, elementary, middle, and high school in this country.

- michelle on December 11th, 2009

I think Janelle’s right, unfortunately. It seems to be a part of development that all kids go through – they’re acutely aware of what makes everyone similar or different and are trying to sort it all out. It’s not pleasant from the outside, but as long as the adults around them don’t enforce the behavior, they grow out of it.

- Molly on December 11th, 2009

Ouch, I think that was inappropriate to tell his step daughter that she wouldn’t be able to use a drinking fountain during segregation. He shouldn’t have singled her out like that and made her feel like maybe deep down there is something wrong with her just because of the color of her skin. If he used a general explanation, that would be better. I just think that was wrong to tell her. Harsh parenting.

- Mary on December 11th, 2009

I think it’s good he made them aware. I also think it’s a learned behavior from parents or other kids, mostly. Of course we are aware when people look different than us, I’m trying to make sure my daughter to treats everyone the same.

I was born in Selma Alabama, a lot of racism still exists there. I moved to northern Alabama 15 years ago but I have family in Selma and still visit. I had a lot of black friends when I was little, but one of the mothers told her daughter she needed to hang out with more black people and couldn’t see me anymore. We were both so hurt and didn’t understand why we couldn’t be friends. That affected me for years, I felt like something was wrong with me. It’s so stupid, we are all people. I would never tell my daughter something like that. I always look for her mother whenever I visit, so I can politely give her a piece of my mind!

- Jessicad on December 11th, 2009

I agree marfmom, it’s not always the parents, I just said that because they often are the influence and the one’s teaching their kids. Didn’t mean to be offensive.

- Erika on December 11th, 2009

Thanks Erika

And Mary, I disagree. I don’t think that’s what he meant to do at all. I’m on the darker side, like his daughter. My parents talked to me about segregation here and I heard stories about what happened to my mother as a Latina immigrant. Heck, some of those things happen to me now, and this is 2009! The daughter in question is a teenager. I think she’s capable of understanding that the point of Matt’s conversation was not that there is anything wrong with her, but the opposite: segregation was terrible b/c there is NOTHING wrong with being a different color. I also disagree with the poster that said it was disappointing that he brought up the color of her skin. I obviously don’t speak for all people of “color”, but I myself have no problem with people describing my skin color. It’s a pretty obvious part of me, just like my hair color. Should we just pretend skin color doesn’t exist? In my opinion, no.

- marfmom on December 11th, 2009

It is not always the parents but 99% of the time it is. For example, when you are watching something on TV and someone makes a racial or homophobic joke or joke pertaining to religion that is inappropriate, and you laugh. Put a strike in the promoting prejudice column. Of course kids notice differences and that is when a parent steps in and explains how you should judge people on an individual basis and not based on race, creed, color, sex etc… For some people that is simply to hard or not within their moral fiber.

- Shirese Franklin on December 11th, 2009

I find very weird that he would explain his stepdaughter’s dark skin tone to the fact that she is of Cuban-Argentinean descent; Latinos range from blond-haired, blue-eyed (as Cameron Diaz, of Cuban descent) to darkest of dark (as Celia Cruz, also of Cuban descent). Also, as Sami has previously mentioned & cited, children do have preconceived prejudices; once again, it is nature AND nurture that will play a role as to how far these prejudices or preferences go.

- mvg on December 11th, 2009

marfmom- Actually, the post says Alexia is 11, so she is still a preteen, not a teenager. Still, I agree with your comment.

- CelebBabyLover on December 12th, 2009

@ Chickie – I would refer to my children as very dark (my husband is Maltese), with olive skin, brown eyes and thick dark hair. Particularly against my own pale Irish skin and green eyes! I don’t think he meant it in a mean way, she just happens to have dark colouring.

And Mary, sometimes it can be difficult for children to understand something which they can not relate to. At my daughter’s school, they are often asked to imagine what it would be like to be a different person in a different situation to themselves. The whole “live a day in another man’s shoes”. At 11, I think she is more than ready to learn such things and more so, I believe that decision lies with her parents.

- Catey on December 13th, 2009