Jenny McCarthy Hoping to Make Grandma 'Sound Pretty Good'

Yuri Gripas/Reuters/Landov

Almost four years into a relationship with Jenny McCarthy, it is no secret that actor Jim Carrey has developed an unbreakable bond with the actress’ 7 ½-year-old son Evan Joseph. However, in new interviews with Access Hollywood and PEOPLE, Jenny reveals that she has nurtured an equally strong relationship of her own with Jim’s daughter, Jane!

“I’d consider her my daughter,” she says. “I love her to pieces.”

And with Jane and her husband Alex Santana expecting their first child — a baby boy! — on March 3rd, Jenny, who calls herself “an absolute mother-in-law,” is more than ready for the next step!

“I’m soon to be a grandma!” she raves. “So that’s interesting, 37 [years old], I get to be called ‘Grandma.’ I’m going to try to keep in shape and youthful, so ‘Grandma’ sounds pretty good!”

“My biggest lesson in it will probably be to just shut up and just let her raise the baby the way that she wants it. I think grandparents can kind of overstep their boundaries. I’m going to try to be there as a friend and a cool grandma.”

Her first job as Grandma? Planning the baby shower, scheduled to take place next month.

“I have to try and think of those baby games. My mom did the chocolate Raisinets in the diaper but I’m not sure I can go there!”

Source: Access Hollywood; PEOPLE

– Anya with reporting by Isley Kasica

Comments

thats so sweet of her, you can feel how proud she is! best of luck to jane and her husband!

- alexis on December 7th, 2009

That baby is never going to stop laughing with Jim and Jenny as grandparents!

- jashmom on December 7th, 2009

Thats so cute that she wants to be the baby’s Grandma!! She sounds so excited.

- Molly on December 7th, 2009

I am sooo glad to hear Jenny has a great relationship with Jim’s daughter Jane, but how does Jane’s mother feel about Jenny saying she is “Grandma”? That strikes me as odd since Jane’s mother is around.

- Robin on December 7th, 2009

no reason they can’t both be grandma, the more the merrier

- sar on December 7th, 2009

What does Jane’s mother being the child’s grandmother have to do with Jenny thinking of herself as the baby’s grandmother as well? The baby will be blessed with THREE grandmothers and that is a great thing.

I was blessed with 6 grandparents myself. My maternal grandparents remarried when my mother was 3 years old. I have always seen my “step” grandparents as my grandparents since that is all they have ever been to me.

It is amazing that Jenny and Jim aren’t even married and they consider each others children their own.

- Erin on December 7th, 2009

Yeah I would say the same thing about Jane’s mother too, Robin. Although I guess Jenny will be sort of a step-grandma to Jane’s child. (At least that’s better than my one friend who was married to a guy twice her age over a decade ago, and briefly was a step-grandma at 19?!)

BTW how old is Jim’s daughter, Jane?

- Autumn on December 7th, 2009

i have a 2yr old niece who is very very lucky to have 4 sets of grandparents. My brother was with her mother and then they broke up and they both started to see the ppl that they are with today. all four sets love her unconditionally and would do anything for her. And also i hate the term step-grandparents does it really matter if the child calls Jenny Grandmom i dont think soo.

- Fallon on December 7th, 2009

Thats so awesome! Growing up I only had three grandparents, I got two more when my mom remarried, so that baby is going to be spoiled and loved to no end!

- Cassandra on December 7th, 2009

I, too, became a grandmother at a relatively young age. People still say I look about 10 years younger than my actual age, but I think part of that comes from feeling and thinking “young” while also having the wisdom my true age brings. I decided on “Grammy” as my moniker for the little ones because I was proud to be a grandmother, but wanted something that reflected me. Since then, several of my friends and associates have become grandmothers. I can’t tell you how many of them chose to be called “Grammy” after hearing my little ones call me that. For me, it’s the perfect name and hearing little voices call me that lights up my life! Kudos to Jenny for being as involved in Jane’s life as Jim has been in Evan’s. She really seems to have done an “about-face” in life as the result of being a mother and having a good relationship with Jim.

- FLMom on December 7th, 2009

My daughter considers both my mom and stepmom her grandmas. Having grown up with only one grandparent, the more the merrier!

- Emma on December 7th, 2009

Robin, there is nothing “odd” about Jenny being referred to as a “grandmother.” Children naturally have more than one of them if both parents’ mothers are living. In the current time of blended families, having more than two is not unusual, either! I should further add that my husband is not the biological grandfather of my little ones (I will not use the prefix “step”) and he’s been every bit the grandfather (if not MORE) to those children as their biological grandfathers. I will further add, Autumn, that my husband is 12 years younger than me. I don’t like it when people try to imply that there is only ONE way to parent/grandparent and that if it doesn’t fit “their” definition, it is weird or wrong. I find that people that judgmental are usually pointing the finger at someone because they have their own issues to which they should be attending.

- FLMom on December 7th, 2009

Autumn, Jane is 22. Nothing wrong with Jenny acting as a grandmother. The more people that love a child the better.

- Brandi on December 7th, 2009

Why is it bad that Giselle feels like a mom to Jack (who she actually has helped raise since he was an infant) but it’s cute when Jenny declares herself mom to Jane? Personally I think they’re both showing a warm embrace to their stepchildren but I find it weird how angry people got with Giselle and how cool everyone is being with Jenny. Maybe the negative comments will come pouring in soon and I’ll be proven wrong. Ideally though everyone would be like Giselle and Jenny and want a close bond with their stepchildren. I’ve seen it go both ways and the kids who had cool relationships with their step-parents really appreciated it.

- Basil on December 7th, 2009

Basil I was thinking the same thing, I don’t get the Giselle hate.

- Rose on December 7th, 2009

I was about to post when I saw Basil’s comment and I really couldn’t have said it better myself!!

- Deb on December 7th, 2009

I think that’s really awesome. My sister is in a similar situation. Her step-son is 16 now and she’s beein in his life since he was three. He lives with her and my brother-in-law and has always spent holidays and such with our family. My mother is his Grandma and I’m his aunt. It’s always been that way!

- maribeth on December 7th, 2009

I find it SO strange how mothers here get so angry about comments like Jenny’s (and Gisele’s). My god what do you want her to say? “I won’t be a part of the child’s life, I’m not biologically related to him or his mother sooo…yeah.” Like WTF?

- Natasha on December 7th, 2009

not that i like jenny mccarthy really but in this case i think she is definitely right. sometimes i think people just want to complain for the sake of complaining. i mean, to those of you who think it’s strange that she would think of herself as one of the baby’s grandmothers, can you imagine your outrage if she had said something like “this baby will have nothing to do with me whatsoever, i intend to treat it completely differently to any biological grandchildren i may have in the future, the only people who should act like a grandmother to the child are the two true biological grandmothers…” i’m sure then people would be complaining even more about what she said. if you break it down to the essentials, she is talking about a child that will soon enter this world whom she intends to love and care for.
but i guess the answer here is that you can’t win either way.

- JM on December 7th, 2009

Basil, I think people’s issues were more with what Giselle had to say about Bridget (that she wants Jack to have a good relationship with his mother). My perception was that some people posting here thought she was undermining Bridget’s role in Jack’s life. And personally I thought the uproar against Giselle was way out of hand, I think it’s wonderful that Jenny loves Jane and Giselle loves Jack as much as they do. But, if my memory serves me, that was (at least) one of the reasons why there was so much outrage after Giselle’s comments, and so far there hasn’t been a lot after Jenny’s.

Anyway, how can anyone complain about a child having that many more people to love him or her? I can only imagine what family get-togethers will be like for Jim, Jenny, Evan, and Jane and her family. Huge amounts of fun, no doubt!

- alice jane on December 7th, 2009

I think the only thing that would ever be odd is if Jenny and Jim broke up. I’d hope she still have a relationship if she’s becoming attached. And by no means do I ever want them to break up. I love them together!
I say the more grandparents the better! I grew up with one grandparent and well it may have been just as easier to not have any considering he never lived near me! I always wanted grandparents to spoil me! And Jim and Jenny are going to be wonderful g’parents!

- JMO on December 7th, 2009

When I read the quote about her being a “grandma” I thought oh boy! Here comes the “that’s not fair to Jane’s mother” comments. I think it’s wonderful that Jenny and Jim have such a lasting, loving relationship and she feels as close to Jane as he seems to feel with Evan. That baby will have several sets of grandparents and that is fantastic. The more people who love the little guy the better. God-Bless this entire family. Can’t wait to see him with his grandpa and super hot grandma!!!

- I♥CBB on December 7th, 2009

I think the difference between Gisele and Jenny is that Gisele’s comments were about a young child versus Jenny coming into Jane’s life when she was a teenager. Young babies are more impressionable when it comes to the roles of adults in their lives. Gisele made comments about Jack and Bridget that came out wrong (I don’t believe she was trying to be malicious, it was probably a language thing). It’s a lot less threatening (to the bio mom) when a step mother comes into a teenager’s life since the teen has had that long bond with only their mother as the mothering role.

Anyway, I think it’s great that Jenny and Jane have a strong bond. My children have multiple Grandmas as well since my Dad got remarried. When it comes to children the more love they receive the better!

- Lorus on December 7th, 2009

I come from a blended family and have had a very positive experience with it. Blended families can be beautiful and loving or full of anger, frustration, jealousy, etc. It all depends upon how the adults choose to respond. Jenny’s positive attitude will be nothing but a blessing to this new baby. The more the merrier as far as love and family are concerned.

- Blue on December 7th, 2009

Lorus, you took the words right from my mouth! That’s what I was coming here to explain–there IS a difference when it’s a young child versus a teenager (I would know…my stepfather came into my life when I was young while my stepmother came into my life when I was older–and I definitely feel there was a difference to the role they played in my life). But the difference between these TWO is what and how Giselle said it…

- Melanie on December 7th, 2009

I think it is great that Jenny wants to be a part of Jim’s grandchild’s life. I would imagine that this has probably already been talked about between Jim, Jenny, the ex-wife and daughter and if there was a problem Jenny wouldn’t have made the statement.

My husband’s parents divorced when he was in high school and are both remarried. Our one-year old daughter calls them all by grandparent names (Granna, Grandpa, etc) as they are all an important part of her life. My mother-in-law does not feel threatened in anyway by my father-in-law’s wife and vice versa. We are blessed that everyone gets along well and we have a huge family to love her.

Congrats to the WHOLE family!!

- Lee on December 7th, 2009

Nothing wrong with Jenny calling herself “Grandma.” I’m in a similar situation. My fiance’s parents are divorced and his mom has been in long term relationship with someone for the past 10 plus years. My fiance does not him “dad” or any thing along those line, although they do care deeply about one another. We don’t have children yet, but we do have a dog and the dog knows this man as “Grandpa” and I know when we eventually do have children that his step-dad will no less be Grandpa to those kids. I don’t believe it’s blood that keeps us together, but the bond. And does biology really matter at the end of the day as long as the child is loved and cared for.

- Tams8312 on December 7th, 2009

I don’t really think there’s anything wrong with young grandparents or step grandparents, if you stick with the person and give the children love.

I just thought it was sort of odd (and rather sad) when my friend suddenly married a guy who was 20 yrs older than herself right after her father died, (becoming the guy’s 3rd wife) then became a technical step-grandma at 19 when her husband’s teenage daughter gave birth, then she broke up with her husband within a year after their marriage.

Sadly I don’t think “Ange” even had anything to do with her teenage step daughter during the brief period she was married to her father, (because the girl lived w/her own mom or a boyfriend?) so she wasn’t much of a “grandmother” to the girl’s baby.

Jenny McCarthy though will make a great and quite funny grandma to Jane’s child. LOL!

As far as why Jenny never had any kids with Jim, I know her son has Autism, and I remember reading somewhere that there may be a genetic link to this disability, so maybe Jenny didn’t want to risk it by having another child? It’s only a guess.

- Autumn on December 7th, 2009

To Basil and Natasha-

At the root of this is jealousy, insecurity, and a lack of maturity.

Women are very mean, intolerant, and rude if they feel another woman may threaten their place in any area of life.

I think some women are threatened by the thought of their child(ren) loving their stepmother/father’s girlfriend/fiancee’/partner, and feel they’ll be replaced in their child(ren) eye’s. They feel insecure. The thought of their child(ren) loving that person as much or more than them frightens them. That’s when you hear:

“She’s trying to steal my baby or child.”

They never consider the other alternative- a stepmother/father’s girlfriend/fiancee’/partner who will restrict the access of the father to the child(ren), treat the child(ren) poorly, and attempt to push those child(ren) aside when she and the the father have their own children because she is jealous and insecure that her boyfriend/fiancee’/husband/partner has child(ren) with someone else.

At first I thought it was limited to simply Gisele because she represents a certain demographic, but once Sandra Bullock got trashed and accused of being a child-stealer despite the fact the child’s mother married a convicted felon who distributed meth whom she met in her halfway house I realized it’s always about stepmothers in general. Stepmothers will always be hated and viewed as child-stealers. It is what it is.

Here’s an article-

http://jezebel.com/5398093/the-wicked-stepmother-just-another-way-of-keeping-women-down

FYI-Jenny is getting trashed on other sites for the grandma comment so…

- Marissa on December 7th, 2009

I love this!! I think it is wonderful that Jenny is so excited to be a “Grandma” – she and Jim obviously have a really strong relationship!

As for any issues about having multiple grandparents, who cares about genetics? A family is what you make and build (through marriage, adoption, etc), regardless of biology. My dad’s parents split up when he was a teenager, so I have always had two sets of grandparents on his side: three grandmas, three grandpas… It didn’t matter to me – more love!!

Again, kudos to Jenny! And congrats to the family!

- Sarah on December 7th, 2009

Huh, wouldn’t have guessed that saying you were excited to become a Grandma was a bad thing. Jane is a grown woman. If she didn’t want her child to call Jenny Grandma I’m sure that would be that. My brother’s wife has grandchildren and they call him grandpa. And my brother is 32. He loves them and would do anything for them. He is not taking the grandpa roll away from anyone, just adding more to their lives.

- kris on December 7th, 2009

I’m having this issue right now and it’s so bad. I’m 32and my father’s current wife (number 4, but who’s counting) is only 5 years older than me, she’s 38. I can’t stand her and she can’t stand me. My mother also can’t stand her. The only person that thinks she is heaven is my father. Now the drama. My baby shower was a couple of weeks ago…frst grandbaby for all on both my side and my husband’s so everyone is super excited. My father’s wife, the darling she is, is referring to my baby as her first grandchild. This is driving me and my mother crazy. More my mother. I’m sorry, call me petty but I don’t consider her anything to my child…she is my father’s wife. That’s it. I won’t be the type to not let her do things with he/she, but as my mother would say “it’s not that kind of party”.

- Amber on December 7th, 2009

Autumn, Jenny has said that she does not want any more children after how hard she and Evan had it when he was first diagnosed. And, I guess after raising a child already Jim doesn’t want to start again either.

I see no problem with Jane’s baby calling Jenny “grandma”. You can never have too many!

- Sarah K. on December 7th, 2009

My kids actually have 4 grandmothers – Nanna Alice, Nanna Ann, Nanne Mary and Nanna Jo. Both me and my husnad parents are remarried, and while I don’t refer to my step-mother as my mother, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t a grandparent to my kids.

Years ago, divorce wasn’t as prevelant and families were simple. Now I have a step-step cousin (our step-fathers are brothers), who I catch up with once a month (our kids are the same age) and my family Christmases get larger and more crazy every year.

Love is all that matters and ensuring your children are happy is the most important thing. My husband is not fond of his step-mother, but my kids LOVE her, so he makes the effort. Isn’t parenting often about putting yourself second?

- Catey on December 7th, 2009

Call me old-fashioned but it just doesn’t sit right with me when someone takes on a title like grandma when they’re not actually married to the grandpa. Although I agree that you can never have too many grandparents — love mine to pieces!! But what happens if Jim and Jenny break up? This is Hollywood and the odds are against them.

- Elle on December 8th, 2009

My older two children are blessed with six sets of grandparents, including the parents of my second husband their dad’s wife. Even my younger two children with my husband call my ex husband’s parents grandma, grandpa, grandma, and grandpa. Not only is it less confusing for my young children, I am also of the belief that the more who love your children the better. It also projects a level of respect from my children versus just calling adults by their first names. All four children also calls our friends “aunt” and “uncle” as a sign of respect and also the importance of family. I see nothing wrong with this child calling Jenny grandma, in this child’s mind, Jenny will be her grandmother in all the ways that count.

- KD on December 8th, 2009

I must say I am right on board with Marissa. I grew up with four parents. My mother, my Stepfather, my Dad and my Stepmother. I love my mom but we never had a mother daughter relationship. I respect my mom but I view my stepmom as my mom. DNA does not make a family for me. I realized my mom was jealous of my relationship with my stepmom. Luckily I was adult in the case like Jane and told her to knock it off. I am lucky to have four loving adults as parents. Its either the father is not involved because of the 2nd wife or the mother has issues with the stepmom being kind to her kids. Its never enough for some women. It comes down to self-esteem. It really does and man women, this is the reason we why we are not considered equal. Men never bash each other like this, women are so catty and I must admit as a woman I am getting sick and tired of it. Who cares. If people love their kids why can’t we all just get along.

- Kate on December 8th, 2009

I say the more the merrier. Love is love. I think the difference too with Jenny’s comment verses what happened with Giselle is that Jane Carrey is an ADULT. Giselle was making comments about a very young boy who has a loving mother. Tom and Bridget still have to ‘share’ him where as Jane has a choice whether she wants to have a relationship with Jenny and judging by this article, she does. Its cliche, but it takes a village…

- Erin on December 9th, 2009

>Call me old-fashioned but it just doesn’t sit right with me when someone takes on a title like grandma when they’re not actually married to the grandpa.

Guess I am old-fashioned too. I feel the same way. We didn’t start referring to my mom’s BF as my DD’s grandpa until my mom and her BF got married.

Also, I think unless the step-grandparent has practically had the role of a bio-parent from the time the baby’s parent was young, both sides need to have an open discussion about what they will be called. For a new stepmom to unilaterally declare herself a “grandma” like in Amber’s situation is inappropriate IMO. And I never would have started calling my 40 year-old childfree stepmom “Grandma” to my DD w/o asking her about it first. I approached the situation by asking both my parents and their spouses what they would like to be called so I could start referring to them as that in front of DD before she could talk.

Personally if I were a smokin’-hot 37-year-old like Jenny I’d love to be called “Grandma” just for the fun of it… I wouldn’t be so excited about it if I was 40 and looked 50 or 60, though.

- Sami on December 9th, 2009

sami, how do you know that jenny and her family haven’t had such a conversation. jane’s real mother might be absolutely ok with jenny also being a grandma. and as i said before, would you prefer that jenny said she DIDN’T want to love and nurture the child and that she would only be a grandmother to her BIOLOGICAL grandchildren? that’s sad.

- JM on December 9th, 2009

I know JM that is what I am saying. How can you make judgements. I so think Jenny would have enough sense to not call herself a grandmom if she hadn’t already talked about it with Jane.

Who the bleep cares if they are married, they have been together for four years and are in a committed partnership. I have two kids and been in a 15 year relationship wtih my partner. I will not get married. I have seen too many divorces and honestly to me its just a piece of paper. I am still in the same relationship while many of friends have been married and divorced and have remarried. Yet I constantly get critized for not being married when my kids have two loving parents. People stop judging only God and can judge and my fellow humans you have no right to judge me. Unless you have the power to decide which children of yours can go to hell then talk to me about my life. Only my Lord and Savior can judge me. Peace out.

- Kate on December 9th, 2009

I’m not saying Jenny shouldn’t be “Grandma”, just that she shouldn’t be w/o talking about it with Jane first, which I’m sure she has, being that both Jane and Jenny seem like reasonable, considerate people! When I said, “inappropriate”, I was specifically referencing Amber’s post above, where her stepmom just started referring to herself as Grandma without any prior discussion with Amber.

And I didn’t mean to come off making a moral judgement about marriage, sorry if it came out that way. My uncle has been with his partner for almost 15 years and she has never been referred to as aunt to me or my DD. To me it would seem odd, but I never meant to imply it was morally wrong or anything.

- Sami on December 9th, 2009