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Melissa Joan Hart: 'It's Emotional To Leave My Kids'

09/22/2009 at 05:00 PM ET
Russ Einhorn/Splash News Online

Appearing on Dancing With the Stars is a dream come true for Melissa Joan Hart, but now that her appearance on the hit reality show will coincide with her cross-country move to Connecticut, special preparations are being made for her two sons Mason Walter, 3 ½, and Braydon ‘Brady’ Hart, 18 months.

“It’s emotional to leave my kids,” the 33-year-old actress admits in a new interview with iVillage. Up until recently she has been able to practice with partner Mark Ballas at a local YMCA during the day; As a result, Melissa spent time with the boys in the morning or at night, was often able to do Mason’s drop-off and pick-up from preschool and was “always” home for dinner.

With the debut of the show on Monday, however, Melissa says “the hard part” has officially begun.

“Now I’m gone for a little over a week and then they’ll come see me for a week and then they’ll be gone for two weeks, and so on and so forth until the end.”

To help prepare the kids for her absence, Melissa acted on the recommendation of a teacher at Mason’s preschool and created a sticker calendar which shows the days she’ll be gone. She says Mason will also be keeping a journal for her, and that she left Post-it notes throughout the house “so every time they see a blue sticky note, they know Mommy’s thinking of them.”

In addition, the family of four — which includes Melissa’s husband Mark Wilkerson — will utilize iChat nightly. “Of course my husband is going to be TiVo-ing me on TV so they can watch and see what Mommy’s doing,” Melissa notes. “And they’re going to be coming out [to California] a lot.”

“We’re used to traveling. We’re always moving around. They’re used to a lot of flux in their lives, so it’s just another thing we’re going to have to get through, but it’s temporary. Even though it seems like it’s going to be forever.”

Click below to read about how Mason has adapted to being a big brother.

In addition to Mark, the boys will obviously have each other to lean on when they’re missing mom and Melissa says that their brotherly bond is strong. “[Mason] was excited” about welcoming Brady into the family, she says. “He carried around a baby doll and talked a lot about babies…From day one he was always like, ‘Can I hold the baby? Can I hold the baby?’”

Now that Brady is mobile, the two spend much of their day playing together. “They go on the swing set, they wrestle,” Melissa notes. “Now they can be buddies.”

The transition wasn’t as seamless for Melissa and Mark, however. “It’s a lot harder to be on your own” with two kids, she admits. “Right now we’ve got man-on-man coverage, but it’s so much easier when you can double team.”

At no point is that more apparent than when the Hart-Wilkersons board an airplane! “It’s so much easier to stick him in the seat between you and be able to take turns — whoever has the patience at the time deals with the child,” she explains. “Or one runs to get the diaper while one goes to do whatever.”

“Instead of having two of you being able to do it, it’s one-on-one, and you’re having to rely a lot more on yourself than someone else to help you out.”

There is at least one distinct advantage to becoming parents-of-two, however! “The good thing is they entertain each other too, except when they fight,” Melissa adds.

Source: iVillage

– Missy

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Showing 33 comments

brannon on

I know people do this every day but I just can’t imagine…

Shaya on

It must be so hard for her to be away from her kids for that long. I have a 5 month old and a couple nights ago I went to get my haircut while my husband stayed home with our daughter. I was only gone for an hour and that was torture enough for me. I couldn’t get home fast enough. :)

mslewis on

Oh, please!!! She’s doing a reality show. It’s not like she’s filming a movie or TV series. She can leave this dancing thing anytime she wants or she didn’t even have to take the job. It certainly won’t do much for her acting career, such as it is. I don’t have much sympathy for a woman who would leave her babies for weeks at a time to dance on a reality show. Wake me up Mel when you get a REAL job and have to leave the kiddies!!

Laura on

mslewis, I think Dancing with the Stars is something that Melissa has wanted to be on for a long time so it might be a dream come true type of thing and maybe she didn’t want to pass up the opportunity. It doesn’t mean she still doesn’t want to leave her boys, but maybe she’ll regret it if she doesn’t do this fun reality show when it’s a once in a life time opportunity. It is just really unfortunate that her going on the show happened to be right after she and her family moved across the country.

holly on

mslewis-I agree completely. RIDICULOUS to be away from your kids that long, especially when you do not have to be. It’s not like she’s in the military. They are BABIES! And sorry, they have no idea what those sticky notes are!!

J.D. on

Some of y’all need to get off your high horse. They’ve worked it out as a family and that’s all that matters.

angelbaby33 on

I am confused! Are they moving to Connecticut? Didn’t she just open up her store in LA? Is this a permanant move or for a movie or something? Thanks in advance!

Anna on

I don’t understand it either. It must have been a very big dream of hers to be on that show otherwise why leave your children for it?

I think her children are too young, 2 weeks will be hard to grasp.

Wowza on

I believe her mother has been diagnosed with cancer, so they are relocating to be closer to her mother. Yes, she does own a store in LA. Just because she owns it doesn’t mean that she manages or works at the store. MsLewis- what do you consider to be a REAL job? For actors and actresses, they’re real jobs are the ones that seem unconventional to us. Melissa worked very hard to lose her baby weight and has talked before about being on DWTS. Her husband will be at home with the children. Would you make the same comments if her husband was going to be away for a week? I doubt it. Everyone on this site needs to stop being so judgmental. Mothers should support other mothers, no matter what their occupation is.

alli on

She’s getting paid to be on this show…it doesn’t make it any less of a job just because she happens to love it. Jeeeeez people why so judgmental?

angelbaby33 on

Oh, that is too bad about her mom. I only wondered about the store part because she seemed to be very involved to just move across the country for no reason. Obviously though, she has a very important reason. Thanks for the info.

Erika on

Wait, why couldn’t they stay in California? They’re not in school yet, so what would be the difference?

I think those boys are so cute and I love the name Braydon, but I don’t understand why there weren’t other options.

Kelly on

Melissa has campaigned to be on Dancing with the Stars for a long time. Last year, when she wasn’t asked on, she “Boycotted” the show. She did a number of interviews kinda bashing it.

If you look up Melissa Joan Hart boycotts dancing with the stars, you will see.

Her kids just moved to a new area, her mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I feel SO bad for her, but I think her priority should be her family and she should stay with her kids so they could get used to living in a new home/state.

robinepowell on

Well another thing Melissa could have done, was rented a house (assuming her old house has been sold), so that there wasn’t any travelling involved. ;)

She’s moving to Connecticut? What happened to New York and what about her candy store? I’m curious as to what’s in Connecticut, I thought she has originally said she was going to move to New York. At least there’s she has her family to help them out. :)

Lucindaloo on

I’ve always wanted to be a Sherpa in the Himalayas and I have small children- what to do, what to do, what to do…please! Some dreams have to be done before kids, or after they are grown…grow up.

Sadie on

I agree with MSLewis. If MJH wants to leave her kids for weeks on end with sticker charts as company, so be it. But why bleat about how “emotional” it is to leave her kids? Duh – don’t leave them! Put them before fame, Melissa.

Stacy on

It sounds pretty obvious to me that when she signed up to do this she had every intention of being in LA but then they found out about her mother and wanted to get closer to her right away (think about what a morale booster having your grandkids around can be for someone who is sick). Obviously when you sign up for any show, there is a contract involved. Calm down people! It’s obviously something she’s wanted to do for awhile anyway. Isn’t there something I’ve heard about not losing yourself after you have kids…

Stella Bella on

Mason’s going to write a journal for her? At 3 years old?

Sallie on

She annoys the stew out of me…I’m confused – did someone force her to do the show?!?!

pelin on

it’s her job!I think its a life time experience ad its right to use this chance,what you expect,or what will you do if you have a chance to be a part of a show like that.ı think dont expect from moms to abondon their ambitions.in my opinion,shes a great mom and hope she will win that competition,good luck to her!

Amy on

I never had issues with MJH before, but it just irks me that in every interview she does about DWTS, she assumes she’s going to last on the show until the end. Think highly of yourself maybe? In reality she could be gone the first or second week and then this whole cross country traveling is done.

Brandi on

#14 her family is in long island, ny which is a short drive to conn. (or you can take a ferry).

Of course it is hard for anyone to be away from their children but it sounds like a great opportunity and that they will be visiting often. Melissa did a nice job last night although I think she will improve as time goes on.

drea on

What makes her acting career any less of a “REAL” job than the next persons office job. Just because their lives may be a little more ‘glamorous’ and they have more money doesnt make being a parent any easier! Everyone needs to get over themselves! Stop judging people because your envious and have nothing better to do with your time!!

drea on

People keep saying that no one forced her to do the show so she shouldnt complain…no one ‘forces’ us to go to work everyday and be away from our children but i would bet that every single one of us has complained about it at some point. She may have more money than the rest of us, but i imagine whats in her bank account isnt going to last forever…so, like the rest of us, she is working to provide for her family, not because she was forced or would rather be away from her kids but because its a neccessity.

robinepowell on

#22 Thanks for the 411. ;)

Maeve on

i hear u Wowza!

Jana on

Drea, just like the rest of us, yes, Melissa has to work. However, no one forced her to take a job that will take her away from her family for long periods of time. Many actresses turn down jobs that will mean weeks away from their families. Since Melissa rallied to be on the show, it just seems a little weird that she’s complaining.

mrscal on

If you read all of the different post, this family did live in LA and MJH fully planned on living in LA while on the show. Due to the fact that her mother now has cancer, why wouldn’t she want to move closer to her! MJH is an adult and had previous commitments before the family decided to move, which in Hollywood those commitments usually include contracts. I don’t understand why people are so judgemental of others that they don’t even know. There are working woman on different pay scales all over the world, but it doesn’t mean they are abandoning their children, working mothers are trying to provide for their families.
MJH just stated that it was going to be emotional leaving her children, I don’t know how people turn that into complaining but she was just stating a fact that many mothers would agree with. Its not like she is leaving her children with a stranger for a week and a time, they are going to be with there father and I don’t see how a week is going to tramatize a child yes it might be hard to understand right at first but if anything the child will learn a little independence and the father/sons bound will have a chance to get stronger. This family might have celebrity status and more money than most, but the simple fact is that there are a normally family just like everyone else. Just because they have celebrity status doesn’t make them super-heros, they are people with feelings and they have to face the same problems everyong else does (health problems, working to provide for their family, etc) We are always going to live in a judgemental society but at least this family is trying to do whats right for them no matter what anyone says.

Patrice on

I thought the whole point of Melissa moving to the East coast (we’re happy to have her!) was so that she could take care of her “very sick mother.” It seems then, a little bizarre to me that she would immediately take on the “Dancing with the stars” gig so soon after starting the move. This will no doubt be a lot of change for her boys, but they are very young (and probably won’t remember any of it) and children are remakably resilient. My only question is, who is attendidng to her Mom while she is in L.A.? What was the point really? She didn’t ever actually really re-locate to Conn. yet at all.

Jan on

Her mother is in LA right now with Melissa.

Melissa hasn’t seen her boys since September 17, and probably won’t see her kids or husband again until October or November

Jan on

correction on that

She has Twitter that her mother is in LA with her

Her husband and kids maybe visiting this week or in October

acidstars9 on

I have to ask- would you guys be crticizing so much if she were a father and not a mother? Obviously the children have a great father at home to take care of them.

MiB on

Off cours she will miss her children as much as their father probably does when he is on tour without them, but previous obligations are previus obligation and contracts are contracts and not that easy to get out of (they can even be costly to get out of). I think she is doing great preparing the kids for her absence, my dad, who spent a lot of time on the road, would send me post cards and leave little notes, and gave me a teddy telling me that every time I gave it a hug I would give him a hug because he put all his love for me in it (this was way before skype, when over seas calls were very expensive). The little blue post it’s are the same thing, and little kids can understand that (no doubt she has told them what they symbolize many times before, and it will be something they can use in the future too, a little blue post it in the lunch bag to say I love You, how sweet a thought!). Mason is old enough to make a diary, either through pictures or by telling his dad what he thinks and let him write it down, he could also have a digital recorder and record his thoughts (I had one and my dad had one and we’d send audiotapes across the world to each other). He is also not too small to understand a cticker chart calendar and cross out the days until he can see mommy again. Sometimes situations don’t work out as planned, and then all you can do is to do the best about it. Heck, my mom left me at an aunts for a month one summer, when both my parents had to work and I was to small to be home alone all day. Did I miss my parents? you bet I did! Did they miss me? You bet they did! Did I have a blast playing with my cousins and visiting my grandmother all summer! You bet I did! Do I suffer any long lasting ill effects from that month? Not the slightest! Did I think my parents had abandoned me? Not what I remember! But what do I know, I was three!
I wish her luck with DWTS!

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