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Sep 08 2009 11:00 AM ET
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Michelle Stafford Expecting – By Surrogate!

Russ Einhorn/Splash News Online

Thanks to the help of a surrogate, The Young and the Restless star Michelle Stafford is expecting her first child — a girl — this December.

Michelle, 43, who has won two Emmys for her role as scheming Phyllis Summers on the CBS daytime drama, tells PEOPLE that she relied on a surrogate after struggling through fertility treatments and surgeries.

“After a three-year journey through hell, I’m elated, ecstatic and feel ultimately lucky to be able to announce I’m expecting my own child via surrogate in December,” Michelle says in a statement.

Michelle, who is single, tried artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization and also looked into adopting after deciding to start a family on her own. Four surgeries and three egg retrievals later, she finally arrived at the surrogate option. “I never wavered in my desire to be a mother,” she says. “But I did waiver on aspects of the process. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

The actress, who worked with Los Angeles-based IVF specialist Dr. Buylos and the surrogate agency Fertility Miracles, plans to be in the delivery room when her daughter is born in December. In the meantime, she’s already looking forward to a baby shower at the home of pal Kirstie Alley — and readjusting her take on the dating world.

“This entire process has been very, very difficult to do on my own,” Michelle says, “and has made me realize the importance and reason for a partner.”

“Dating men and telling them I’m expecting in December is a little different,” she adds. “I know I just need to find someone who wants the same things as I do.”

– Mark Dagostino

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I’m young but I’ve always been a soap fan. Love Y&R (my fave is GH) and the character Phyills. Congrats to Michelle!

- Lola Marie on

bravo for her! I could never do it on my own. She is a brave one…

- Sarah on

Good for her! Just because she is single doesn’t mean she can’t be a mom. Plus she has the money for extra help, if needed, that alot of us couldn’t afford (nanny, etc., so why not?

- Tiffany on

Wow, congrats to Michelle!! I am so happy for her, love you on Y&R!!!!

- Kristen on

Oh my gosh, this is fantastic news!! Congratulations to Michelle!!

- Thrifty Sisters Coupon Clipping Service on

Wow, considering her charecter’s fertility struggles previously, it must have been even more frustrating for her when her journey didn’t magically end in pregnancy like on Y&R. I know everyone understands that soap land is different, but when you’ve played such a similar role and then live it in your personal life, it must be that much harder.

However, congrats to her for persevering and looking forward to the child she obviously wants so desperately. I think she is being very frank and open about how hard being a single mother is going to be and her search for a like minded partner and it’s refreshing to see someone so honest about the struggles and fears that go with it.

- Mary-Helen on

Congrats to her!! How exciting!

- Erika on

“This entire process has been very, very difficult to do on my own,” Michelle says, “and has made me realize the importance and reason for a partner.”

…Hmmm… Then maybe she should have found a partner, and THEN had a baby. It’s only my OWN OPINION, please don’t fault me for it.

However, I do feel for her with her fertitily battle. That must be so incredibly difficult. I would never wish that upon anyone and hope that the pregancy continues to go well.

- Lis on

I agree with the importance of having a partner- and someone to share the pressures of child-rearing with. However, Michelle is 43! She didn’t have a lot of ‘time’ left to find a partner before her options were minimized! If she is anything like some of my own friends, she has been looking and hoping and waiting for a partner to have a baby with…and he hasn’t appeared yet! best of luck to Michelle!

- Essi on

plus..do you know how hard it is to find a partner in Hollywood.??..seriously..next to impossible!!!Good luck Michelle..hope you have the cutest red head in town!!

- Lisa on

She should have a child, it’s her choice. She’s not some immature 16 year old who has to grow up fast when the baby is born. She’s 43 and lived her life, she deserves to be happy. I’d rather be single and a mother by choice than to be in relationship that goes nowhere and be childless.

- Sandra on

Hmm, I though she already had a child? Maybe it’s just because her character “Phylis” does on the show?

- Patrice on

Lis: I couldn’t agree with you more! But I also (surprisingly) find myself fully agreeing with “Essie” on this one as well. Congrats!

- Patrice on

I love you Michelle, you are a dynamo on screen & off, & it is he’ll going through infertility, not to mention trying to find that “special someone” so you go girl, you rock!! How brave to come forward..PS you so do not look 43!! Keep kicking a** as Phylick…we need ya!!!!

- Alesha on

Good luck to her! I am also pleasantly surprised at the comments here.

- Terri on

As another (fingers crossed) soon-to-be single mom by choice (I’m 6 weeks pregnant after undergoing IVF), I’m thrilled that Michelle is sharing her story.

Congrats, Michelle!

- Terri on

I already commented but congratulations and good luck to you too Terri!!

- Erika on

Congratulations Michelle!!! She is absolutely fantastic on Y&R and I wish her all the best in this new journey as a parent.

- Susan on

Thank you very much, Erika!

- Terri on

Terri, I’m happy for you! In my circle of friends I have two who made the same decision as you and are doing great. It’s obviously a serious decision you’ve made and I just want to lend my support (even though I’m a stranger!)! Good luck to you!

- Erin on

omg yay! i was wondering when she was gonna have a baby! i am so happy for her! Y&R is one of my favourite shows! yayyyy! :)

- Tina. on

congratulations terri! and good luck! :)

- Tina. on

Michelle is one of my favorite people in the whole world and I am so happy that her dream of becoming a mother is coming true. She will be a great mom!

- Mara on

I am so excited for her! She is my fave actress on Y&R. Happy, happy, so happy for her! :)

- Jennifer on

Congratulations Michelle!! I am so so happy for you! You’ll be a great mom. Remember, two parents doesn’t always mean a happier child or family..it’s the love that counts.

- Sil on

Michelle is amazing on Y&R and even more amazing in real life. She is one of the greatest. Being so open and honest with her struggle to have the child she has always wanted makes me love her even more. She will be a wonderful mother to that baby girl. I can’t think of a better mother.

Congrats Michelle!! You deserve all the happiness in the world. I am so happy your dream is coming true. :)

- Megan on

Congratulations to the luckiest baby girl out there! Michelle, all of your Phick girls are thrilled with your news. You are going to be a great mom!

- Susan on

I am so thrilled at the fantastic news shared by Michelle, I offer my sincere congratulations and joy at her news, Well deserved.

The fullfillment of a dream is priceless

- Dothlyn on

Children are wonderful, but this little girl deserves a father in her life. Maybe she should have looked for a man earlier and she wouldn’t have had to feel rushed in having a baby at 43. I’ve never heard about this actress dating anyone or being in a long term relationship. If us “normal” people can do it, then why not her?
Did she grow up with a dad-why wouldn’t you want the same for a child? My daughter has a good relationship with her dad-I wouldn’t want it any other way-she deserves the chance. Yes, widowed women raise kids every day, but two parents is better IMO. My opinions have nothing to do with her soap character-I just don’t think it’s in the best interest of a child to be raised without one parent.

- lynn on

Lynn, I find your comments extremely disturbing.

- April on

Great news for Michelle. Her character on Y&R is one of my mom’s and my favorites. She’s going to be a great mom and that little girl is going to be so beautiful.

- Paige on

I think everyone’s hope is to find a partner and have a child together with him or her but sometimes you just don’t find that men/women. I’m not sure what my decision would be but I can understand the decision to do it on your own.

- Anna on

Anna, exactly! Men are not like picking out apples. You don’t automatically just happen upon a great man during the age of 25-40! For every woman who decides to go parenthood alone, there are an at least equal amount who settle for a man/partner less than what they really want/need/dreamed of! What’s worse? Raising a child as a single parent or raising one with someone you probably wouldn’t be with if not for the kid? Those of us lucky enough to have a great partner who also happens to be a great parent should should thank our lucky stars!

- Erin on

Lynn, your comments are insulting. I am sure you did not mean them that way. I am preparing to go down the path of single-motherhood. My first choice would obviously have been to meet the man of my dreams and create the all-American family unit, but things don’t always work out the way we hoped or planned. Sometimes you have to play the cards you are dealt.

- michelle on

Congratulations to Michelle. I remember the flap Ricky Martin raised when he had children via a surrogate, and he was a single guy. I hoped this wouldn’t happen for Michelle, coz she’s a single woman, but alas, people like lynn, Lis, Patrice, Carlene had to be catty about this. What do they say about singl women like Sheryl Crow that adopt? It is the same thing.

There are times when one is really wanting to be a parent, but no where near a relationship (which can take years to nurture before bringing a child or children into it). It is not like she doesn’t want to find someone, she does, but right now her priority is her child.

Kudos to Michelle and good luck!

- eternalcanadian on

Lynn

Maybe she is not lucky in the love department, or she tends to choose the wrong guys, so because of that she doesnt deserve to be a mother? who are you to judge you dont even know her circumstances.

I am happy for her he is very brave

- Brenda on

I am surprised CBB would allow such insulting remarks on a story that is obviously so joyful. Lynn, your comments clearly demonstrate you have no idea what you are talking about here. Your post makes a lot of personal assumptions about Ms. Stafford without a shred of fact or intimate knowledge of her history. There are many ways to make a family. Why should those who have met the man of their dreams be the only ones allowed to enjoy the gift of motherhood? How is that fair? It’s not.

- Susan on

Oh, and to Terri, #17 on this story, good luck. I hope it all goes as planned and you too are blessed with a child. :)

- Susan on

Congratulations Michelle!!! We ALL look forward to your little bundle of JOY!! Your openness about the entire situation and procedures touches my heart and soul. As you walk down this path, you will know that you have a legion of “tweeps” that stand next to you and behind you 100%.

Lynn – it is 2009 not 1909!! Women are their own individual’s and have the ability to do anything and everything on their own without “a man” to “show them the way”. And by the way “normal” people understand the want and the need to have a child, by whatever means.

- marla on

Lynn, I am somewhat insulted by your remarks because we aren’t all priveleged to have a wonderful father in our lives. Michelle is doing an honorable thing and I for one am very excited and over joyed for Michelle and her blessed child. I say more power to Michelle for taking a stance and weighing all her options before making this huge decision. I say more power to Michelle for doing what some are forced to do in life and raise a child on their own.

Michelle, may this little girl fill your heart with so much joy that you will never regreat a single day of becoming a mother. :)

- Tasha on

this is the greatest news of the month! I couldnt be happier for Michelle. she deserves to be happy and nothing is better than having a gorgeous healthy babygirl (with Red hair?).
she’s going to be a terrific mom! I know Y&R is just acting but to see Phyllis with Daniel & Summer just melts my heart. it shows she is a natural. I feel for her story & storyline even more now that I know what she had to go through personally as opposed to on-screen.
also, way to go on being open & honest. I’m sure many women can relate and feel supported.
I love her and I love Courteney Cox as well. CC had so many setbacks and heartbreaks trying to have COCO, I was beyond ecstatic when her dream came true and now to know that Michelle is going to have this fulfilment as well make me so happy.
TheStafford is dynamite: they are both so lucky that they’re gonna have each other.
mommy princess is for real! YAY! CONGRATS!
one of your loving Tweeps!
Mag

- Megabby on

Congrats, Michelle, on your little bundle of joy, and for sharing your story. It’s encouraging for so many who have similar struggles. What is important to note is that we each have our own lives and must make our on choices, and opinions are just that–opinions. They are likely to never have any bearing on the decisions or choices we make, or struggles we must face.

Again, congrats, Michelle! I know your daughter will bring you much joy and light, and will be so very loved!!!

- tsc on

I wonder was that the real Michelle commenting (#29)??? I’m sure celebs come to this site just like us regular folks.

- Lola Marie on

I thought she already had two sons that she adopted. I know I read that somewhere. Congrats to her.

- kelly on

kelly- You’re probably confusing her with someone else. :)

- CelebBabyLover on

i agree with Lynn. Yes, it is 2009, but one thing that will NEVER change is the fact that the best way to raise a child is with a mother and father. There is so much evidence that proves this and no psychologist or psichiatrist would tell you any different. There are circumstances where being a single parent is inevitable, such as a surprise pregnancy or a widow, and I truly admire those parents for doing the best they can. But going to the extreme of renting a womb to have a child you know will not have a father is purely selfish.

- leonor on

Wow, Lynn, I’m sure Michelle wishes that she had found her prince charming waiting on her door step the day she turned 21 but things don’t always work out as we wished they would. I hope to one day be able to marry and have kids, but if the right guy doesn’t come along I may make the decision as the other Terri.

- Terri on

She’s HAD relationships that didnt work out. She struggled for years and a baby wouldnt grow in her, so this is how she chose to be a mom. We are fortunate to have these choices/medical technology, rather than be sad and childless. She worked hard at this dream…let her have it. “Shopping” from a sperm donor book..is a far out thought at first, but it serves a purpose. Look…good men, and a good realtionship you really want to be in is VERY hard to come by..esp. in this town. So many ‘relationships’ dont work out and kids have broken families…I think THAT is more damaging to a child than a child with a loving devoted mom, which is what Michelle is doing. Better a child knows a committed loving mother’s love , than a broken household or a home with tension and bickering or divorce . I , through NO choice of my own…have raised my 2 children completely by myself. My son is is a straight A senior in a christian highschool and eagle scout, and my daughter is a straight ‘A’student, kind hearted, hilarious, happy girl with a heart of gold. SO DONT JUDGE! “Father” is an EARNED term, and rather than expecting or depend/relying on a man ..which too often is like building your house on quicksand… I chose to go it alone. My children are beyond happy and miss nothing! Don’t romanticize fathers… Better a child has a mother that never lets them down, and is there 1000% than seek a ‘dad’ because kids are ‘supposed’ to have one! GO MICHELLE! I personally have lived this fact! Positive male role models, and values can be given and shown to children, through frined, leaders, school. Kids of single moms should not be made to feel that they are ‘missing something’. We all can’t find/have the ‘ideal’ and there are OTHER paths that lead to happiness. Sometimes you have to find alternatives…or make the best of the hand you are dealt.

- monica on

You go Monica! Very well said :-)

- Lola Marie on

I love Michelle and I am very very happy for her.
CONGRATULATION!!!!

- Patsy on

YEA!!!Many congrats to Michelle for her baby news!I love her on Y&R and wish her all the best!!She is my fav character and look forward to watching her every day!!Many blessings and happiness to her and her soon-to-be baby girl!!!!Best wishes….

- christie on

You go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good for you, Michele!!!! We need more women like you in the world!!!!

- Mary Pillsbury on

To Leonor: Renting a womb? Did you really say that? You sound very ignorant and I find your comment extremely offensive.

- Cathryn on

monica- You go, girl! :) People need to realize that familes come in all shapes and sizes. :)

- CelebBabyLover on

Cathryn:
why do you find it offensive? that is exactly what she is doing, Paying someone to have a baby for her. Why do you think it’s ignorant of me to have an opinion different than yours?

- leonor on

leonor- Obviously I can’t speak for Cathryn, but I’m pretty sure that what she meant is that surrogacy, at least to most people, is so much more than just “renting a womb”.

Most surrogates, from what I’ve read, consider carrying another woman’s baby to be a labor of love, and from the comments I’ve read from people who have been surrogates (in various places, not neccesarily here on CBB), it doesn’t sound like they would say someone was renting their womb. To them (and to people who use surrogacy), surrogacy is lots more than “renting a womb”.

To put it another way, you wouldn’t say that someone adopting a child is “buying a child”, even though adoption is certainly not free.

- CelebBabyLover on

Leonor, I think it is ignorant of you to phrase it that way because it is illegal in a lot of countries (i.e. Canada) to pay a woman to be a surrogate, hence, you are not “renting a womb” as you so crudely put it.

I also think it is ignorant of you to phrase it that way because it shows a complete lack of understanding and compassion for what some people have to go through.

If that doesn’t make sense, CelebBabyLover’s post might clue you in.

- Cathryn on

Cathryn- Good point! In some cases, the surrogate isn’t being paid to carry the baby (in fact, I’m guessing that’s almost always the case when it’s a family member, such as your mother or sister, who’s your surrogate). In fact, I’ve read that a lot of surrogates do surrogacy because they enjoy being pregnant and they enjoy helping others, not because they want (or need) money.

Usually, from what I’ve read, the parents-to-be pay the surrogate’s pregnancy-related medical expeneses, but they don’t pay her just to have their baby, per se.

- CelebBabyLover on

Congrats michelle! You are my favorite character on Y&R I only watch for you. Congrats again!.

- janie on

I think Michelle’s character is awesome, as is the rest of the cast of Y&R, and since I must be her biggest fan, I would like to say I am so glad she is about to experience the joys of motherhood. Why does she need approval to follow a dream? Lots of love and luck to you, Michelle from an old lady of 75……

- margo holmes on

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