Sound Off! How Do You Discipline Your Children?

09/01/2009 at 10:30 AM ET
Celebrity Baby Blog Sound Off

Disciplining our children is a tough thing. From time outs and talking-tos to the silent treatment or even spanking, it can be hard to find the balance between teaching right from wrong and affecting your child too deeply. So how do you cope? Many of you spoke out last week against the effectiveness of time-outs, offering other alternatives to discipline. But what works for one family and child may not work for another.

So here’s your chance to Sound Off! Tell us how you discipline your children.


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Showing 43 comments

katherine on

I run a home daycare and i do timeouts for the daycare kids and my own. My daughter is older and i take things away since she is a little old for time outs. It works for us.

JMO on

oh no not another discipline debate!!!!!

Let’s just start off by saving everyone some typing by fully giving them the understanding that people will discipline to how they feel they need to based on each child!!

For me there is no wrong or right answer.

Some kids don’t respond to time out’s. Others don’t respond to spankings! It’s all how each child responds to whatever works for each parent. So for me as long as your not beating your kid do as you feel needs to be done.

I do not have kids but I use the time out method for the kids I watch. But truly all I need to give is the deadly look and that usually stops them from doing something they shouldn’t be. If they do something they know was wrong they get put into a time out for the age that they are unless it warrents extra time. For example my nephew the other day did something he knew he shouldn’t do then on top of it lied to my face when I confronted him. So he got 4 min for lying and 4 min for doing what he was told not to do. After I made him tell my why he was in time so that he understood why he was put there. Then we do apologies and hugs. Works for me. However sometimes his parents can’t get through to him like I can and they end up smacking him. What they do on their time is NONE of my business!

mamaof3 on

I have 3 kids – My 11 year old and 9 year old get grounded when they get in trouble. We do believe in spanking, but they really don’t have to be spanked anymore. Grounding is usually a much worse punishment for them. I also have a 2 year old. Time outs don’t work, unless we physically hold her down, she does not stay in time out. My husband can speak very sternly to her and that usually does the trick for him. Me, I have to spank. I usually can get her attention by spanking her then sitting her down and telling her why she got a spanking.

Gini on

I do time-outs mainly because they let me calm down – and being calm in my opinion is the key to effective disciplining. I give my kids an hourglass to help them keep track of their time-out time. We have hourglasses ranging from 1 to 15 minutes, and if they come out before they’re time is up they just keep piling up additional minutes. It works so far.

dawn on

My 12 and almost 14 year old get punished ex. privileges getting taken away,tv,cable box,games,etc… my 3 and 5 year old get time outs,and as a last resort spankings….

Jessica on

Let me start off by saying I’m very blessed to have really well behaved children. I have a 2 year old who gets into everything-just like every other 2 year old! My mother was always very strict and she keeps insisting that I need to spank him. Well I spanked him for the first time yesterday (not even that hard) and let me tell you I felt so horrible about it I cried, I know he didn’t learn anything from it, all I did was hurt his feelings-and mine! I will never spank my children again, it was sooo awful. For us, it’s easier to just explain why some things are wrong and we use timeouts sometimes. I had never felt so horrible about anything ever, it wasn’t because I hurt him, it was because I hurt his feelings, and that’s no way to teach a lesson.

JM on

I have five children aged 2 – 7. none of them are badly behaved kids but they are all very different and have extremely different personalities. however, out of fairness we use exactly the same discipline methods and they work. they are all respectful, polite, never hit other kids (i am not exaggerating). sure they act out every now and then. but we honestly don’t have major problems and when they do act out we can usually nip it in the bud pretty quickly. we use A LOT of positive reinforcement. we have reward charts and stuff and the kids enjoy it and understand it. even our 2 year old understands it. we use timeouts and taking toys away for punishment. we ALWAYS explain clearly why they were put in time out and we always get an apology afterwards (or the person the offended does).

spanking. is wrong. disagree with me fine. but if you spank you are operating on the imperative that sometimes violence (and it is a form of violence let’s not sugarcoat it) is sometimes ok and excusable. i want my kids to understand it is NEVER ok to hit another human being. no excuse. people will hate me for saying this but i don’t care, to me spanking is lazy parenting. you wouldn’t hit someone else so why your own kids whom you are supposed to love the most? there are other methods and they DO work. as i say, anyone is free to disagree with me, have a different opinion etc. i believe in freedom of speech. i just don’t agree with violence. especially towards someone, smaller, weaker and less powerful than you.

JM on

Jessica, you are a strong and admirable person to be able to admit you did the wrong thing. i think it’s great that you understand what you did and that you will never do it again. you obviously really love your son. it takes a lot of courage to admit that and i’m sure your son will respect that you made the brave decision to never spank him again. well done!

Micheley on

I do one warning, I think in general they should know not to do something so Im not a huge fan of warnings but I know they are important. Then they get time out, time based on age. Privlages get taken away, and as a last resort Spanking. I do believe in spanking, I understand why some don’t and I think its every parents choice. I also think their is a certain age (ie. to young, to old) And from my own personal experience, it is important not to spank out of anger, if that makes since.

Jessica on

JM, thank you for the kind words. I knew in my heart that I was not a “spanker”, but I’m still a young mom (23) and every now and again, I let my mother or someone else who I think is more experienced than me sway me. I really appreciate that you’ve made me feel like I’ve made the right decision. I think it’s really important to parent out of love, and I think when people spank, they’re parenting out of anger. I remember being spanked as a child and it never taught me anything but to be afraid of my parents, and it was humiliating. I don’t know what happened yesterday, a good friend of ours had been brutally murdered over the weekend, so i think the stress of that may have had something to do with it-but man, that’s guilt I don’t ever want to feel again.

JM on

Jessica. i am very very sorry about your friend. that is terrible. how good to know that in this world where some people do terrible things you are trying to raise your son to be a good person and leading by example. well done.
no parent, no matter what age always knows what is right. sometimes one of the best things we can do for our kids is realise when we’ve done something wrong and admit that we’re learning on our feet and still trying to figure it all out. i meant what i said and i think from your own experiences you must know, your son will respect you so much for making the decision to never spank him again. you show him violence is never ok and know that you are giving the world a young man who knows this and will hopefully never find an excuse to be violent.

louisemom3 on

My husband who is a police officer was talking with some other officers about spankings while they were waiting to book some prisoners. My husband asked the other officers if they were spanked when they were little and they all said yes, then he asked all the prisoners if they were spanked and they all said no. Maybe a spanking every once in a while isn’t so bad after all.

April on

Interesting Louise! We do a combo of gentle discipline with preventing, redirection, time-ins/time-outs and restriction of privileges. I have smacked my 3 yo a few times that were very well warranted and didn’t feel bad about it what so ever. For us, we resort to physical punishment as a gut reaction (ie – when he ran into the street with cars coming) or as a last resort. It really just depends on the situation and child. I said I’ll never spank, but then my child got older and then I had another one and sometimes what I’d like to do just doesn’t work out.

Aaron on

Discipline is not a “one size fits all.” I always try to let the punishment fit the crime. If my son hits a playmate, obviously I can’t turn around, spank him and then tell him he can’t hit. Or if he would throw the typical toddler tantrum, spanking wasn’t an option, either. But when my three-year old son yanked himself out of my grip one day and ran into a busy parking lot with me frantically running behind him, you’d better believe that once I caught up to him I gave him a little whack on his bottom. You can call it violent or “lazy parenting” all you want, but in that instance the spanking was definitely better than the alternative. And he never again tried to make a break for it when cars were around. Of course, I also took the time to explain to him WHY I had spanked him and he got the message loud and clear. As a parent you just have to do what you think is best for YOUR child, and if it doesn’t jive with what another parent would do, then that’s okay. Besides, we’re all just another parenting book away from being labeled as pathetic parental screw-ups…I just stick to what I know works for my children.

MZ on

My mom always used direct phrases to nip minor issues in the bud, and I’ve seen myself adopting those as well. It’s kind of hard to explain, but for an example, say a little brother is hitting his little sister, Mom would say “Little sisters are not for hitting. Little sisters are for playing with.” Recently I was working with teens and they’d found a wheelchair and were playing around with it. I said “Wheelchairs are not for playing with. Wheelchairs are for people who need them” and they immediately stood up and put the wheelchair away. Obviously as kids we got time outs and things, but phrasing things like this nipped more problems in the bud than not, especially in the early years when we were still learning rules.

Micheley on

Louise I find that very interesting as well!!
I know that spanking doesn’t always work and like I said earlier I know it is not for every parent or every child and that its not the perfect punishment for every wrong doing.
But I was spanked and knew that when I got spank and my parents resorted to that, I had done something seriously wrong and/or dangerous (My parents also explained what I did wrong and how I should have acted, it wasn’t just smack and your done) And my mind can’t help but wonder to the fact that spanking was common in the past and the way people and children acted was much different then how they act now.

Kelli on

I was spanked as a child and I do spank my son when the bad behavior calls for it. He’s 3 so I also ignore some things because it may annoy me but its not bad behavior. Sometimes people don’t recognize the behavior for being appropriate for the child’s age and because the parent doesn’t like the behavior, the child gets punished for it. I try my best (I’m not perfect) to not spank him for things that are small in nature and all I have to do is tell him to sit down to solve the problem.

momto2andahalf on

The question was how do you disipline your children, not what you disagree with. Thank you for all the people who actually answered the question.

JM on

louise, i know you weren’t necessarily suggesting it, but obviously your husband’s specific experience actually says nothing about the actual effects of spanking or not spanking. to suggest that it does would be a classic example of “bad science”, something which appears all too often nowadays. i know children of police officers, my friend’s dad is actually the chief of the police department i know she was never spanked. equally i know kids who have gone off the rails who were definitely spanked if not more at home. so there is definitely NO evidence at all that suggests that spanking makes your kids better behaved citizens. (again i’m not suggesting that that was what you were implying, just clearing up the matter).

i guess i just like the idea that i know if i asked any of my kids whether it was ok for anyone to hit someone they would all say no. my oldest son was out with hsi best friend and his best friend’s mum recently at the park. his friend misbehaved and his mum spanked him. when my son Dylan came home he asked me why she did it. (his friend had answered his mum very rudely and ignored her request for them to get ready to go home which was the reason for the spanking). i try to be respectful of other parents and i don’t like talking badly about other parents especially in front of my kids as i know kids are likely to take on their parents opinions. so i explained that different parents have different ways of dealing with their kids when the kids are naughty. but he couldn’t really understand. he’s a bright child with a tendency to be very curious about most things. so a lot of questions followed: “You said it wasn’t ok to hit anyone, especially someone weaker. isn’t ‘friend’s name’ weaker than his mum”, “Does that mean that he gets to hit her back?”, “Do you think he might hit me?”, “Would she hit him if he was a girl?”, “What else does he do that makes her hit him?” etc etc
many of these questions i sadly couldn’t answer because i don’t understand it myself. i just promised him at the end that his dad and i would never ever hit him and that seemed to comfort him.

the most common reason i hear for spanking IS when a child has done something that put them in danger, or that it was just a gut reaction to some extreme behaviour. that is an explanation but not an excuse. it still sets the imperative that violence is sometimes ok. and i do think there is a difference between recognising a gut reaction and admitting that it was wrong and hoping that you never react that way again. and saying something was a gut reaction but also entirely excusable.
just my opinion….

Sam on

JM- although i dont agree with you, i am not going to hate you. i do not know why people get so worked up about these topics that if someone disagrees its like okay they dont agree with me i have to hate them. Like i said i dont agree but thats fine everyone has there own opinion, but i dont like how you state it that only yours is right..sure it works for you but it doesn’t mean spanking is bad or wrong its just not what you would do. I just wanted to know if you have ever been spanked as a child?

Jessica- You need to relax a little bit. you can’t get so worked up about it. trust me your child is not going to hate you because you spanked them. I have been spanked and so have all my friends and its funny because sometimes we share our stories of how we got in trouble when we were younger. Spanking a child does not affect them badly, beating them would obviously, but if a child is misbehaving and they are told to stop or they will get spanked and the child continues, well then I would have no problem in spanking because then they realize that if they continue to do that they will be in trouble. but of course its your choice and i just wanted to say to not feel so guilty and to relax because it will do no harm to him:)

JM on

Sam – i by no means hate you at all either. certainly not just because you have a different opinion with me on this issue. the reason i state that mine is right is kind of obvious, because to me it is right. i mean if you work on an idea of categorical imperatives then it makes sense to say that by parents showing violence of any kind towards their kids they ARE setting the categorical imperative that violence is SOMETIMES alright. all i am saying is that that is not something i want my children to believe. and i’m sorry to me spanking IS wrong, just as i stated before and i explained why. it’s not as if i made an unfounded statement, i gave reasons for it in a previous post. that doesn’t mean i am going to MAKE you agree with me but i do believe very strongly in this and i don’t think there is anything wrong with emphatically arguing your opinion.

in answer to your question i was never ever spanked as a child. my parents never really had problems with discipline though. my brother and i were very well behaved children and that continued when we were teenagers. we had/have a very open and respectful relationship with our parents and my parents say they never even considered spanking us. even though, to be honest, i grew up in a culture where spanking is not at ALL rare. i had many more friends who WERE spanked than who worked. i haven’t spoken about it with all of them but the ones that i have spoken about it with say it did bother them that their parents spanked them, they largely didn’t really learn anything, it still bothered them that they had been spanked and i can’t think of a single friend of mine who was spanked who says that they would spank their own children. statistically this means nothing, just thought i would share.

again, i don’t hate anyone here, honestly, but this place is about opinions and i think sometimes people confuse someone strongly defending an opinion, with denying other people the right to have a different opinion. that doesn’t mean that i have to accept that they are “equally right”.

Alex on

I very much agree that discipline is variable depending on the child in question. However, in my mind it is never ever okay to hit a child. You can dress it up and call is spanking if you want to, but it all boils down to the same thing. A child may learn to behave when they are under the threat of being physically hit if they do something wrong, but they aren’t learning respect for their parents, they are learning fear. I do not want my children growing up fearing me or their father, simple as that. Hitting a child is wrong. We need to teach our children that violence is not the way we solve things, we can only do that by setting the example and not bringing violence into the home.

I discipline by using warnings and then a naughty spot. It is enough for my children. This might change when they get older, we may need to use grounding but at the moment the children are too young for that to be necessary. They rarely need the naughty spot anyway. I’ll never hit them though, of that I am certain.

JM on

alex that was very eloquently put. and good point about kids fearing rather than respecting their parents.

Micheley on

JM- I agree that is very contradictory for parents to respond to violence with a spanking, and I do understand where you come from in being anti-spanking. But I know that if anyone were to ever ask me if hitting or violence was okay or if my children were asked, the responce would be no, because their is a difference and I/they know it. It all depends on how you were raised and how the spanking is given. My cousin was with a man who was very agressive (mainly towards her but he also used spanking as the only form of punshiment) and as a result her son was very agressive until he was about 9 years old. My oldest is probably spanked a handful of times a year maybe less, because it is literally last result, your actions are dangerous behavior.

Lea on

This is ridiculous. The question asked for how you discipline your children, it did not ask for epilogues on how spanking is medieval and what neanderthal parents do.

My son is 3 years old, if he misbehaves he goes for a time out.
If he comes back still misbehaving, I take away most of the toys he plays with.

No spanking because I know it wouldn’t work for us, the method we have seems to be working, but I know plenty of parents who spank (Spank being the operative word, not “beat the living hell out of your child because you are an angry parent” that seems to be implied on this forum-a lot”) their children, and their children do not resent them, and in my eyes are very well behaved.

louisemom3 on

JM- My husband is a police officer in the inner city, and when he asked the juvenile prisoners if they were ever spanked they answered “no way, I would call the cops on my mom if she did.” Kids are growing up nowadays with no discipline. A little smack on the bottom is okay if the situation calls for it. I am sorry but in my opinion you are very wrong and I hope your children do not grow up to be juvenile delinquents.

Mary on

When my children were younger and they did something wrong, I would pull them aside, get down on their level, look them dead in the eye and explain to them what they did wrong. I would then tell them that because they did something wrong, they had to be punished. Depending on their temperment it would be a time out or go to bed early or have a toy taken away. As they got older, my husband and I devised what we call points. It goes along with their allowance. If they do something wrong, then a point gets taken away. A point is equal to a dollar. When they get even older (dear Lord) they will be grounded.

Oh, boy, okay. As for the whole “spanking” issue, I am not against it. I have spanked my children when I felt it was appropriate. It is a sharp, immediate, direct point. To be honest, I’ve only had to spank each of my children maybe once or twice and the simple threat of a spanking keeps them rather behaved. It’s deductive reasoning: I did this, so I got spanked. I did this again, and I got spanked. Therefore, if I keep doing this, I will get spanked. While perhaps it isn’t the best option and some people see it as “beating or traumatizing” your child (I totally disagree), it is direct to the point.
And to answer any questions, yes I was spanked as a child. Did I hate my parents? Absolutely not. I don’t even remember 99% of the times I was supposedly spanked and neither will your child. Trust me, there are other longer lasting things that will effect your child. I can remember one time when my mother spanked me and I said, “You’re a mean mommy!” and she replied, “You’ll understand when you have kids one day!” And do I ever!

Bieta on

Funnily enough, my mom was telling me about the times I had to be spanked. I don’t remember any of them, but one involved me throwing my “timeout chair” out of the window and it hitting someones car. I guess I figured no chair no timeout! Just…spanking. So like Mary said I don’t remember most of these spankings at all.

Alex on

I have read all the comments here, for and against hitting a child, and my mind has not altered one iota. If parents efectively discipline a child, violence does not need to come into the dynamic. And that’s what it is. Smacking, spanking, tapping, whatever it is, it’s physical and it’s done in anger or punishment. Not acceptable in my house, will be never acceptable in my house. And yes, I was hit as a child and yes, I did grow up fearing my father because of it. He and I have a very distant relationship now and I have no doubt that his harsh punishments are a contributory factor. None of the things anyone has said here are a justification. There is no real difference between a smack and a punch in terms of what a child learns from it, which I gather is the reason some parents use physical punishment (besides, even if you could justify it, where do you draw the line between your anger and your child’s punishment? Exactly). It’s not a decent last resort punishment either. It’s just a way of telling a child if I can’t get you to do what I want, I’ll just hit you instead. What a great example that is. I’ll never do it and I’ll never think it’s right. Like I said before, every child needs something different by way of discipline, but that never needs to include violence. It’s a poor example to send our children into adulthood with.

JM on

alex, good point well made.

lousisemom, see this is exactly what i was talking about. your statement is simply what is called bad science. unfounded, untested, unverified. it is anecdotal, sure but statistically, scientifically and factually, that means virtually nothing. this is not my opinion that is just basic science understanding. i understand your husband has had specific experiences btu that does not mean that my kids are more likely to grow up to be juvenile delinquents (that suggestion is actually bordering on offensive). i mean a basic understanding of logical reasoning should tell you that.

furthermore, it is true that spanking your children means you DO operate on the categorical imperative that violence is sometimes ok. that is up to you to operate like that, but you can’t deny it. i’m sorry but that’s they way it is. personally that is not the kind of relationship i would want with my kids. growing up, when my friends told me how it upset them that their parents spanked them (and yes that included even a light tap on the behind) i was proud to know that my parents would never hit me. it made me have tremendous respect for them. my brother and i have never even come close to being in trouble with the law, we have never had any problems with drugs, alcohol etc. never even had a speeding ticket for crying out loud. i love that my parents were strong enough to find other ways to discipline us and i respect them for it.

so far not spanking my kids has not had any negative effects. people often comment on how well behaved they are and i just hate the idea of my kids ever being scared of me. how could i look at their little faces, knowing they are smaller and much weaker than me and that they just don’t always understand what they are doing, how could i look into the eyes the human beings that i above everyone else am supposed to protect and lash out at them, knowing it is going to cause them pain.

i would rather my children learn, than that they are scared.

MU on

JM–do you do anything besides sitting around all day waiting for people to respond, so you can shoot back a rebuttal?

Alex on

JM – thank you for your two responses to me :).

JM on

🙂 MU i have 5 kids so yes i do. sad though to resort to a sly dig just because you disagree with someone.

alex, you’re welcome. i just like seeing someone actually making a genuine argument and not just an emotional or irrelevant response.

Leto(Gaia's mom) on

Actually JM her post isn’t anymore relevant because she’s talking about how she doesn’t discipline her children and giving her opinion on how others raise their kids.

Is violence sometimes not okay? How do you explain wars, why cops have guns, boxing, mma fighting, movies, video games football? There are so many examples of violence being accepted and embraced within societal bounds that any other opinion is just naivete. Secondly it is debatable if spanking constitutes violence at all.

And I did have a bit of fear of my mom as a child, that didn’t stop me from talking to her about my problems, hugging her before school and loving her unconditionally. And it wasn’t a fear of being spanked, but the fear of falling out of her good graces. I know longer fear my mother, but I do respect/ revere her like no one I’ve ever met and we are very close. To me she was my leader and in an authoritative position.

Now to the revelant part of my post. My daugter is a good listener at 16 months old, and she’s not very stubborn and like me she tries very hard to please. I don’t foresee spanking being apart of her future, but I’ll discipline as I see fit. I don’t see being anti-spanking as a higher learning form of discipline. I’ll do what I think will lead to an intelligent, repectful, composed and clever human being.

Sam on

Mary-excellent point. children will learn they continue the bad behaviour and they will get a spanking. And of course you would not grow up hating your parents.

JM- I find it a little hard to believe that all of the people you know were some how negetively affected by spankings, because honestly everybody i know has been spanked and has no resentment or hate toward there parents, like i said everyone jokes about it now as like the worst thing i did when i was a kid…and then my mom chased after me..etc. maybe its that i’m italian that we dont view spanking as something terrible i dont know, but really like mary and others have said you dont even remember half the times you have had spankings, and as for alex and her distant relationship with her father, it doesn’t make sense that it was solely because of spanking there may be other issues involved and i think that if people have been bothered by parents physical discipline maybe they weren’t spanked. like i said obviously beating a child is wrong but a spanking on the butt has never caused any emotional issues and works well in reprimanding bad behaviour, and its usually people who have never been spanked before who will say that it is so terrible which is why JM i asked you if you have been spanked because people like mary and i who have been spanked know that it does not cause any problems between parents and children I have had a very open and close relationship with my parents and i have been spanked, my cousins get spanked and run and get so excited when there parents get home, so as far as i have seen spanking does no harm and on my children, time outs, spanks, toys being taken away are what i would do.

Sam on

Leto-I would just like to say that was very well put. and I love your look at disciplining.

LindaLou on

We use positive discipline. Our kids are 12, 9, and 4. They are great kids ~ good students, active in sports and the community ~ have never been in any trouble at school or anywhere else.

I do not believe in striking children. The very idea makes me ill. And “Louise”, I think you’re just making up tall tales to try and support your POV. There have been many studies focusing on prisoners and the fact is that the majority of them were neglected and abused as children. I think trying to pretend that good parents who do not resort to hitting their children in the name of discipline are some how responsible for raising criminals in such a load of bull that you just look foolish saying it.

louisemom3 on

LindaLou- You are obviously not a very intelligent person if you think I would make that up, would you like to speak to my husband personally and have him tell you? There were about five prisoners waiting to be booked, not the whole prison system. I thought it was interesting they all said no. Your comment makes us see who is really the foolish one.

Micheley on

Just so you know spanking and abuse are not the same thing. So yes alot of prisoners were abused, but just becuase you spank a child doesn’t mean you abuse them.
And you need to get off your high horse because physical, isn’t the only kind of abuse. I remember my best friends mother was the most vocal anti-spanker ive ever met and she was also one of the most verbally abusive parents I had ever been around. Now Im not saying that of all anti spankers or that people who spank are saints or anything because I know of parents who are quite harsh verbally as well as spanking. Im just saying that physical abuse isn’t the only thing that affects a child.

S on

I don’t know why anyone can advocate violence in their home. We don’t and won’t use any physical form of discipline, because words are the strongest tools we will ever have.
There should be laws forbidding spanking or any form of violence in the home, whether you “deem it necessary” or not!

Jen on

I have 3 boys… 5,8, and 10.

They get their butts spanked when necessary. I make no apology.

I think it’s much more humane to use some harsh discipline when it’s needed now, so they don’t have to endure being locked in a cage (prison) with real violent people, fearing for their life, only to get raped and “shanked”.

Kids go to juvi and get pepper sprayed when they act up, but thats ok. Just don’t paddle your kids butt and follow it up with a hug and discussion about how to behave next time. That makes you a violent person lol.

Yes, I work with juvenile offenders. Yes, the other person is right, most did not get spanked. Some were beaten, most were neglected. Hadley ANY got spanked by a loving and concerned parent.

If you don’t want to spank your kids, fine… don’t.
But don’t tell me I can’t spank mine.

Sam on

Jen-very well put

jacque on

Kids today dont respect authority at all. Its all because they know that they can have your arrested for hitting them. Growing up I had a respect and healthy fear of parents and anyone in authority because I knew if I did not behave I would get my ass kicked. That is the downfall of the kids today and that is why there are so many juvenile deliquents out there. And yes I know, I have a teenager who has threatened to have me arrested but I smack him anyway.