I apologize. It wasn’t my intention to slight teachers and their genuine dedication to children and their students. I should have clarified a little better. My main point was that many people working in the childcare field are not invested to the degree that a parent is.

Childcare providers and teachers are in two different classes. The job of a teacher is to teach, not to provide the broad range of care that a developing infant and toddler demand. Most teachers went to school to join the profession because they had a true desire to make an educational difference in a child’s life. This is not always the case in a daycare setting. Many childcare providers are not required to have any secondary education or special skills. Beyond a background check, it doesn’t take a whole lot to get hired as a childcare provider. Many people in the childcare field are there because they happen to like kids, but it often comes down to a paycheck. Your child will not necessarily mean any more to them than the next. A childcare provider isn’t necessarily going to pick up on your child’s individual needs and address them in a positive manner. A childcare provider isn’t necessarily going to notice your child’s unique skills and talents and hone them.

As a full-time, at-home mother I agree with you and appreciate your comments.

As a former teacher I disagree with you. I know I wasn’t the only teacher out there pouring my heart and soul into my students, their lives, futures and well-being. I felt my job was as much about loving and inspiring my students as it was about teaching a core subject and I can honestly say I was surrounded by dedicated colleagues who felt the same.

Peace.

We have created a society dependent upon technology that has ironically limited us in so many of our fundamental choices as human beings – primarily our ability to raise our children through the first years side by side.

There is a great misconception about being with your children for the first few years as being non-”work”. There are a million ways in which we contribute to our families, whether that involves money or just our time and effort, that include our children. I think the women of the past would be absolutely appalled at the way children are farmed out to others for the bulk of each day, with no ability to interact with their family members.

Here is the bottom line: People employed in childcare facilities, daycare centers, after-school programs, preschools, and many in-home nannies simply do not care for your child in any special way. It is their job, not out of any altruistic desire to better humanity, but to earn a paycheck to pay their own debts and bills. A child in these settings is a number, not an individual. How in the world is a baby or toddler supposed to form real attachment bonds with someone who isn’t deeply invested in their outcome?

The quality versus quantity theory reminds me of a kenneled animal – one that an owner keeps in a cage all day long and then lets out at night for a walk, run around the park, a few throws of a frisbee. Except that humans aren’t animals. A dog may not remember the bulk of each day, and be perfectly thrilled to spend those few hours with its owner, but a human records everything and it has a profound impact.

I think the debate is so heated because there is defensiveness. Presenting defensive arguments tends to suggest that one doesn’t possess deep convictions about their path, that perhaps on some subconscious level they are trying to convince even themselves that everything is okay. And it’s incredibly unfortunate when one feels they have NO CHOICE! What is a mother to do when she has student loans, house and car payments, insurance costs, medical bills, etc. etc. and wants to provide shelter, food, clothing and the possibility of a little money for college for her children. There doesn’t seem to be much choice in that, and so we do what we have to do as women. And maybe we feel the tiniest twinges that something isn’t quite right when we are returning to work six weeks post-partum, but we bury those doubts, because we have to in order to cope. Or the woman whose identity is so deeply entrenched in her career because it’s the only thing she’s ever been truly validated for – her success as a CEO or lawyer or doctor. And her parents always told her to pay her own way in life, that one must contribute financially to society at large in order to be a worthy citizen of the United States, while no praise was ever given for the “simple” task of mothering.

I realize some are going to jump all over what I am saying…but perhaps there are shards of truth in some of these words. Thousands of years ago mothers birthed children and never conceived of leaving them with non-family members for the bulk of each day, especially not in early infancy, and look at us today! A child’s brain has not changed what it is hard-wired for, yet we have changed dramatically what we expect of our infants and young toddlers. Our societies experience a million-fold the dysfunction of our more primitive counterparts. Are we making progress? Yes, we live more comfortably in many ways, but are the psyches of our populace healthier, stronger, and more certain of their purpose and place in the great scheme of life? I think perhaps not.

I certainly do not rest the entirety of our societal dysfunction upon farming out childcare – there are a myriad of factors at play. However, the bulk of today’s children experience farmed care and I believe there is a connection. Please check out the following site: http://www.naturalchild.org/

The real question is, what are we as mother’s going to do about it? Each one of us has the capacity to vote each and every day with our actions and words. Use them well!

Join http://www.momsrising.org/ and other pro-family advocacy groups. Support one another, regardless of our choices. Make a difference in your local community, neighborhood, etc. by finding advocacy groups in your town or city.

Go forth! Do good!

Ash,Who says we don’t have lawyers and doctors on this board???You might be suprised at who you are talking to..we all don’t start our posts with>>>Being a lawyer you should listen to me..Plus yes ,doctors and lawyers make these same choices..they are not immuned from daily decisions…unfortunately!
and believe it or not..you can actualy practive law and medicine part -time.I know for a fact!