Moms & Babies

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Kelly Rutherford Recalls Difficulty Nursing Hermés

08/19/2009 at 06:00 PM ET
Neill J. Schutzer/Ramey

Although Kelly Rutherford went on to enjoy a lengthy nursing relationship with son Hermés Gustaf Daniel, 2 ½, things weren’t always so easy. In a new interview with Best for Babes, the 40-year-old Gossip Girl star reveals that she had “every problem” imaginable during her first few weeks postpartum, including chafing so severe her toes would curl when Hermés would latch! “You’ve just had a baby, and you want everything to be perfect,” she says. “You want to give your child everything you can, so I called everybody.”  

Unfortunately, the advice she received was often either incorrect or off-the-mark. “One person told me the skin under the tongue might be too short and might have to be cut, and even though it freaked me out, I got it checked and ruled out,” she explains. “And I had some woman tell me I had to pump because I was engorged, but I wasn’t even that engorged, and I should have just breastfed him.” Kelly goes on to recall,

“At the beginning you don’t know, you’re just so new, and everything is so overwhelming, and everyone is telling you something different, and your husband is sitting there looking at you, and he’s trying to figure out how the pump works in the middle of the night, the whole thing is just cuckoo.”

With the birth of daughter Helena Grace, 10 weeks, Kelly has benefited from the experience she gained with Hermés. She singles out putting baby to the breast immediately after delivery as the most important step in establishing a good breastfeeding relationship. Helena went “right on the boob” and Kelly says she’s “had no problems” as a result. “It was a big difference from the first birth, with my son, which was a very long one, so they thought, let me rest a little bit, but then by the time I breastfed him it had been a few hours,” she explains.

“With my daughter — obviously the doctor made sure that everything was okay — but I didn’t do all of the procedures they recommend right away. I did the least amount that was necessary that was still healthy, so that my daughter would be able to latch right away.”

Hermés and Helena are Kelly’s children with estranged husband Daniel Giersch.

For more from this interview, including Kelly discussing tandem nursing and her best advice for a successful experience, visit Best For Babes.

– Missy

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Showing 65 comments

Paola on

my baby is 2 monhts old and im having every possible problem with BF as well. I though have tons of supportive people around incl health professionals. My sister though said breastfeeding is gross and “she would never do that to her children” and pushes a lot towards formula. She doesnt know or care about benefits of breastfeeding and says my milk is bad and i must stop. She also calls it being supportive. Too much pressure on a women who just gave birth. There is also lots of other pressure towards bresatfeeding mothers, like formula commercials, sending free samples etc. We choose to go the natural way and even though we still struggle, we are getting there and its absolutely beautiful (and always ready) You wouldnt believe the places my baby has already nursed

Skipsie on

Wow, she’s breastfeeding both her children. I really admire women who do that.

Christa Bledsoe on

Poor girl. Luckily my baby got the hang immediately. Of course he was 11.7 so he was probably really hungry.

Lisa on

Not that this article has anything i feel is wrong in it and i love this site and i rarely say anything negative i always find the positives.. but for some reason she rubs me the wrong way!!! dont no what it is!! im sure she is a wonderful mother but what ive seen of her i dont really care for. she does have gorgeous kids though. just my opinion a lot of people dont care for tori spelling, denise richards, etc .. for me its Kelly Rutherford.

Mary-Helen on

Normally I don’t care for Kelly Rutherford, but kudos to her for talking about how difficult nursing can be in the beginning. With my second daughter, I just couldn’t get a good latch and it stung the first few times and I was so frustrated and I couldn’t get any advice anywhere. Fortunately, my midwife offers alot of breastfeeding support, so it should be easier with my newest arrival. Nursing can be very trying for alot of new moms, who end up very frazzled.

Trish on

Yuck! Tantem nursing your 2 1/2 year old with your new born is just wrong!

UggaMugga.com on

I can completely relate with her…I had tremendous trouble in the beginning when nursing my first born…and consulted many lactation consultants. I had to triple feed him for the first 3 months (which was made increasingly difficult since he only slept for 45 minute intervals). But once we figured it out, we continued til he was 15 months old…and my persistence was completely worth it for my son and me.

Breastfeeding my second and third children were a piece of cake…not transition necessary! Funny how children are different from the word GO!

If any of you are having trouble nursing or are pregnant and thinking of nursing, know there may be problems, but almost all can be solved with persistence and patience (of which I have much more of one than the other ;)

Kami on

#6 “Yuck! Tantem nursing your 2 1/2 year old with your new born is just wrong!”

It’s judgemental comments like this that make it difficult for women to seek assistance when they have problems breastfeeding.

There is nothing wrong with a 2.5 year old being breastfed.

Given the appalling low rates of breastfeeding in the Western world mothers should be encouraged to breastfeed for as long as possible.

millefleur on

I really love her outspoken advocacy for breastfeeding.

millefleur on

Trish says “Yuck! TANTEM {sic} nursing your 2 1/2 year old with your new born is just wrong!”

I say: Wrong for who, you? Then don’t do it. Nobody is asking you to do it. But don’t judge others who do TANDEM nursing until you have read about all of the benefits of long-term breastfeeding. Everyone can make their own decision about what is best for their children.

MZ on

“And I had some woman tell me I had to pump because I was engorged, but I wasn’t even that engorged, and I should have just breastfed him.”

Sometimes this *is* the issue. I couldn’t tell but it sounded like she was just saying this was bad advice and while it wasn’t the issue for her, it was for me. The lactation consultant showed me how I was too engorged for my son to latch.

I think what we take away from this is that there are so many things that can go wrong in the beginning but that are fixable, so women who are having trouble should look up a lactation consultant or a BFing support group like La Leche League. :-)

Jenn on

I love that she is very pro-breqstfeeding.

Li on

–”Yuck! Tantem nursing your 2 1/2 year old with your new born is just wrong!”–

Wow. I tandem nursed my daughters. I’m still nursing my youngest (2 yrs) and I breastfed her older sister (now 4) until she was 3. So, I spent a year tandem nursing and it was wonderful for us all. Ignorance like yours is the reason we have such low breastfeeding rates in the U.S.

Samantha on

Thank you Kelly! Thank you for speaking candidly about tandem nursing.

The people who think there is something wrong with it are ignorant and they make me feel sad for many infants and mothers.

mrswilliams on

Yuck! Tantem nursing your 2 1/2 year old with your new born is just wrong!

trish how dare you, YOU are the reason so many women feel ashamed breastfeeding, so what he 2 and a bit …so at that age he should stop just because theres a newborn..oh yeah that will help him get used to his new baby sister! keep those nasty narrow minded comments to YOURSELF , As midwife it makes me sick when i see women stop breastfeeding when they enjoying because of people like that, if women struggle or they can’t and they want to bottle feed thats fine but if they want to and can no one BUT NOONE TRISH should judge, nor is there right time to stop, how wonderful it must be for kelly to sit with her tiny daughter and lovely boy and feed them together, i think it must help bond brother and sister too.

a wonderful interview.

planetjen on

““And I had some woman tell me I had to pump because I was engorged, but I wasn’t even that engorged, and I should have just breastfed him.”

Sometimes this *is* the issue. I couldn’t tell but it sounded like she was just saying this was bad advice and while it wasn’t the issue for her, it was for me. The lactation consultant showed me how I was too engorged for my son to latch

the problem with that advice is that it will only perpetuate the problem, your body will still think it needs to be producing the milk you are pumping, you know? I am happy to hear that it worked for you though, but I (as someone training to become an IBCLC) understand what she means when she implys tht that was the wrong advice. It might not have been given with the correct information to support it(like you probably had, ex. only pump or ideally hand express a small amount to releive pressure).

I dont know enough about her to form an opinion, but I love her open-ness about BFing a toddler and the troubles of initialising & suppourting BFing, as they are both very real, and common.

SAR on

Helena is such a gorgeous baby. Look at all that hair.

Many women find that breastfeeding is easier the second time around, because you know what to expect.

Although Kelly is obviously going through an emotional time, what with the separation from her husband, I think that in a way she’s more at peace than she was when she had Hermés. Instead of trying to make a failing marriage work, she knows it has not worked, and is structuring her life accordingly.

Sarah on

I wonder what she means when she says ‘all of the procedures they recommend right away’. I’m a midwife in England and if a woman wants to breastfeed, then that to me is the most important thing and should be done straight away. I put the baby skin to skin as soon as it’s born, if that’s what the mum wants, and a lot of them feed really well straight away. I can understand the delay if the baby needed support from a paediatrician with breathing etc after a difficult labour, but what other procedures are there that take a couple of hours and are more important than feeding?

nina on

Maybe all of you breastfeeding proponents shouldn’t judge someone who doesn’t feel comfortable nursing a 2 1/2 year old and a new born at the same time…..

You guys all like to THINK you are SO open minded and accepting of others!?? Or you like to pretend you are, at least. It is people like you who turn mothers off to breastfeeding because you make them feel bad about themselves.

To me, it appears to be the pot calling the kettle black.

Every woman has a right to make the choice. Yes, nursing is GREAT for babies, I chose to nurse both of my children, but I pesonally would not have been comfortable nursing a 2 1/2 year old at a point when they are eating solid regular food in a country where we can provide very nutritional food. It is not an issue of bonding or comfort for teh child- I am thoroughly bonded with my children and can comfort them many ways….so what do they do when mom’s boob is not around for a little ‘comfort?’

Mothers are more than just milk machines for their children and just because she chooses not to nurse her toddler doesn’t make her a bad mom! We make choices EVERYDAY that go beyond breastfeeding that are good or bad for our childrens lives, but NO one seemes to mention those!

As a matter of fact, just beacuse a woman doesn’t nurse her child AT ALL doesn’t make her a bad mom..

Educate women of the facts, support them as much as you can, but let them make the decision on what is best for the whole family unit, and RESPECT people for their choices. NOW… try and be a little less judgemental toward others.

Shannon on

Trish your comment just represents one of the biggest reasons that moms today have such a hard time breastfeeding. There is nothing wrong with a woman nursing her 2.5 year old child. I am not a fan of Kelly, but I do have a lot of respect not only for the way she chooses to parent her children (AP and extended tandem nursing) but also for the fact that she isnot the slightest bit scared or ashamed to discuss it openly on a public forum. Great job to her! You should really learn that just b/c you don’t like something doesn’t mean you have to throw comments like that out there that can seriously do damage to another mothers’ nursing relationship with her child.

Moms who are having troubles nursing or would just like a support group should check out http://www.llli.org mother to mother forums!!! Los of great advice and support from other moms going through it!

Mary-Helen on

I think breastfeeding is a hot button issue and Trish has the right to say she would be uncomfortable tandem nursing a 2.5 year old with a newborn. I think the reason that breastfeeding rates are so low is a combination of lack of support for women and a lack of understanding for women’s comfort levels too. My SIL refused to nurse past 6 months and that’s her choice. Kelly is tandem nursing and that works for her. But the more pressure that women put on other women to nurse makes it harder for women to be able to enjoy nursing, especially if they struggle. It becomes about guilting the new mom into keeping it up to the point where alot of women will just choose the formula because there’s less frustration involved and bypass alot of the struggles.

Not every woman is going to nurse for 3 – 4 years and that’s fine. Instead of attacking women for having a different comfort level when it comes to nursing, why not all support each other in whatever choice they make. After all, being a new mom is hard enough.

Colleen on

The person who gave her advice about the possibility of Hermes being tongue-tied turned out to be false in his case, but could be possible in other cases of infants who have difficulty latching. Tongue tied children are actually being “diagnosed” later because so many do not breastfeed- it is harder to notice until a child begins to talk if they bottle feed.

Samantha on

I think people should feel free to feed their children as they see fit. I had all intentions of exclusively breastfeeding for as long as my daughter needed, but never got past one week. She was born with such severe GERD that as soon as she would try to eat, she would get very upset, pull off and bite! She just couldn’t be made to stay on. Eventually my doctor told me to try pumping, which I sustained for a while, but had to stop once my husband returned to work and I was alone all day with a screaming baby. Eventually, her idiot pediatrician agreed to try some meds to help, but by then I had dried up. I could beat myself up about it, and I do still wish we were breastfeeding, but that’s life. My best friend from work was pregnant at the same time as me, and she didn’t breastfeed at all. She thought it was “gross” and I wasn’t going to try to change her mind. She knew the facts, but it didn’t matter because she just didn’t want to do it. I don’t think any mother should judge another based on the breast vs bottle debate.

And although I don’t usually like the Kelly Rutherford articles, because she rubs me wrong too, I actually thought this was a nice one.

planetjen on

Of course she has the right to voice her own personal opinion that she isnt PERSONALLY comfortable BFing a 2.5 yr/old.
But making a comment like:
“Yuck! Tantem nursing your 2 1/2 year old with your new born is just wrong!”
goes beyond the realm of just stating a personal opinion. Its implying that people who DO bf for the recommended amoutn of time (2+ years) are gross (implied by use of the word YUCK) abd she blantantly stating that it was JUST wrong. Not ‘wrong for HER” personally..but generally WRONG.
I respect every woman’s personal choices about breastfeeding. What I don’t respect is harsh judgement.

Miche on

“Trish has the right to say she would be uncomfortable tandem nursing”

Trish didn’t say she would be uncomfortable, she said “Yuck! Tantem nursing your 2 1/2 year old with your new born is just wrong!”

That is a judgemental statement. I don’t see anyone here saying “Yuck, formula feeding is wrong.” Trish’s statement is judgemental. If she said “Tandem feeding makes me uncomfortable” then that would be her opinion. But she didn’t. She made a sweeping statement that was negative against all tandem breastfeeding. Her statement should not be defended.

Shannon on

Anon, at that age, I’m sure Hermes is getting almost all of his nutrition from regular foods. Beyond 2 years, nursing is more about comfort than nutrition, from what I believe. Kelly said long before her and her hubby seperated that she was an AP parent and that she planned to do child-led weaning, which means she would let him decide when he was done. So I don’t think her decision to tandem nurse has anything to do with her trying to get more custody.

Lis on

Although I have no children yet, I am a HUGE supporter of breast-feeding and fully intend to do so when I have children.

HOWEVER, I have to agree with Trish. And I think Nina helps illustrate the arguments. I don’t think (and I don’t that Trish meant this either) that breatfeeding is gross…just that with an infant and a 2 1/2 year old…it’s a bit much.

And I’m not educated in this, so feel free to enlighten me, but I didn’t think breast-feeding provided that many more benefits once the baby is around 12 months (which is how long I plan to BF).

Allison on

Trish- I agree with you. And we DO have the right to our opinion. A 2 year old should be getting proper nutrition from regular foods and has no need for breast milk. IMO this was just Kelly’s way of getting more custody of her son than her husband. I think this woman knows exactly what she is doing and it is sick.

Trish on

LOL! Thanks to those who stuck up for my comment about tandem b/f being wrong :) I do think I have every right to my opinion. Shocker but I did not breast feed my children & surprise surprise, they are very bonded to me! I think if people want to breast feed that’s great but the sad thing about many pro breastfeeding people is that they get positively rabid at the thought that anyone wouldn’t do it just because they don’t want to. THAT’S narrow-minded! Strangely enough those people have every right to state their strong feelings.

dearling on

Trish – it’s not your opinion that has people up in arms, it’s the way you expressed it.

Bree on

Lis, breastfeeding’s benefits do not end at a year. Breastmilk still has all the same nutritional components, antibodies, and other beneficial substances beyond one year; it doesn’t expire at a year and neither do children’s need for the breastmilk. There is plenty of info out there if you would like to research this further; I’d suggest starting at Kellymom.com.

Trish, you are certainly entitled to feed your children however you want. But you didn’t say that you wouldn’t tandem nurse your own children. You said tandem nursing was wrong when clearly it is not.

Human milk is the biological norm for food for human children. Their need for it doesn’t end at year, and many children nurse until they are 2, 3, 4 and beyond. If you don’t want to nurse your kid that long, fine. But it is far from yucky and wrong.

Shanta @ Natural Mom Loves Prada on

The facts are this:

There are major risks with formula feeding – it is NOT an equal substitute to breastmilk which is also called HUMAN milk.

It should be every baby’s right to receive HUMAN milk and if you are not willing to breastfeed because you are not aware that a baby’s latch is the opposite feeling of nipple stimulation that your husband may part take in in your intimate moments, then it would be your responsibility to find a way to provide your baby with HUMAN milk via means of pumping, a wet nurse, or HUMAN milk bank.

Of course there are women who honestly struggle, and a better more educated support system needs to be available to these women. For the amount of women who do seek out help, their success rates are terrible in my opinion.

The WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION recommends breastfeeding till after the age 2. So this actress seems to be following the recommendations of a very trusted health organization.

And a mother who CHOOSES to not breastfeed may not be a bad mother but is a very uneducated mother.

Get educated before you make comments – here’s a start:

http://vimeo.com/6182741 – notice the high risk of death for formula fed babies

and

https://admin.acrobat.com/_a771552914/p28814510/ – how many babies died in Katrina because of the low breastfeeding rates in North America?

Facts are facts. You can CHOOSE to ignore them but they are facts all the same.

Momseye on

Thank you Bree. That was well said!

It is one thing to have an opinion and another to say that someone is wrong and “yucky” for doing something that is right for her own family. If you find it “yucky”, fine, don’t do it.

As long they are both willing to do it, breastfeeding a 2.5-year-old has absolutely no negative effects on him or on his mother (despite what you may think), so what exactly makes that wrong?

mary on

Great article, I admire her but why so so many women not like Kelly and say she rubs them the wrong way? Am I missing something?
Articles like this will hopefully encourage moms to nurse and for longer periods of time.

gaia's mom on

Its Tish’s righ to say its gross and its my right to say her opinion is ignorant and stupid. Its one thing if you can’t breastfeed or if you don’t want to because of something serious but because its “gross” and makes you uncomfortable you won’t do what’s nutritionally best for your child? I have a difficult time fathoming that and its really hard for me not to place judgement to be honest. I’m not one of those breastfeeding fanatics, I didn’t know I would until the day she was born. To me it just seems unapologetically selfish. You could do something really really good and with lifetime benefits for your child, but you won’t just because you don’t feel like it..or it makes you feel icky. I personally couldn’t justify that to myself and I didn’t enjoy or revel in breastfeeding.

MZ on

@planetejn yes that is absolutely right. i think it ends up being a fine line. i never did a full pumping session. i would pump for just about a minute, just to take the edge off and give the baby enough room to latch. after 3 weeks or so everything settled down and my body was making just the milk it needs.

i am really interested in becoming a lactation consultant. how do you go about it?

TripletMama5 on

@ Shanta-

Do you plan to PAY for a human milk bank for every baby? It is INCREDIBLY expensive! Not to mention the fact that not ever mother has the resources available in her area. I am a HUGE breastfeeding proponent but even my triplets had to have formula supplemented, sometimes there is just no other option. I feel like your comment was incredibly judgmental and makes the breastfeeding community look bad!!! Think before you speak please! It is every childs right to be fed how his or her mother sees fit!

Wowza on

Shanta, I think you are being a little bit extreme with your opinions and thoughts on breastfeeding. People like you are the ones that scare people away from breastfeeding because if they have one little slip up or give formula one time, you will blow up on them.

Bettina on

Ladies, please express your opinions in a non-judgmental way; I did not want to breastfeed initially and thought it was wierd so I understand how some women feel, and being judgemental of breastfeeding a toddler or being judgmental of not breastfeeding is the same in my book: counterproductive and undermines all mothers! We are part of a culture that does not value or celebrate breastfeeding, and until we respect ALL women and their decisions and feelings, it will be hard to create real change. Look at how far the green movement is coming by encouraging baby steps! While reading about someone who lives “off the grid” and has a negative carbon footprint can be inspiring, for some of us (including one of the co-founders of Best for Babes, who interviewed Kelly Rutherford for this story) baby steps like changing some lightbulbs is progress. Let’s help more moms get through the first few days and weeks and overcome the booby traps, and then we can worry about how long to breastfeed later! ;-) As for becoming a lactation consultant, go to http://www.healthychildren.cc/ that is how I became a CLC (certified lactation counselor). We appreciate all the great comments and help us spread the word so more moms can feel good about the decision they make whether it is to breastfeed or not, and that more moms who want to breastfeed can actually succeed in achieving their personal breastfeeding goals, whether that is one week, one month, one year or more.

danigirl on

Hmmm. Yucky and wrong. Such a kind, reasonable, educated statement.

Trish: A much classier and non-judgemental way to express your opinion on tanDem nursing would have been “Personally, I wouldn’t be comfortable with tandem nursing a 2 1/2 year old and a newborn.”

(Note the fact that I didn’t criticize your choices in a rabid manner. I really don’t care if you breastfed or formula fed your baby. Thats a personal choice and I really don’t care. The point is you were incredibly rude.)

Trish on

Gaia’s mom, I never said breastfeeding was gross – I said tandem nursing with a 2 1/2 year old was “Yuck” (not yucky) & wrong (in MY opinion). I also didn’t mean morally wrong, just odd because at that age kids are generally eating adult food. Anyway, I don’t see why everyone is getting their knickers in such a knot, everyone’s opinion is simply that – their opinion & mine is as valid as everyone else’s. I am enjoying the heated responses though. Thanks for the cheap entertainment! :)

planetjen on

International Lactation Consultant’s Association is where you will find all the up to date info ron becoming a INternationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC)… http://www.ilca.org

Shanta @ Natural Mom Loves Prada on

My comment was actually not an opinion, it was stating facts. And if stating facts makes others feel bad, then they should consider why they don’t know them themselves.

I had a midwife and breastfed/formula fed my second baby – due to a LACK OF EDUCATION. I also breastfed/formula fed my fourth baby again because of a LACK OF EDUCATION. I didn’t take responsibility to learn EVERYTHING I could about feeding my baby and now have to live with regret.

There are of course times when formula is needed but it is not an equal choice and those that pretend that it is, are not doing babies any favors. AND as a society we should be so determined to give HUMAN milk to babies and have networks set up to support mothers who cannot. As in the case of multiples where a mother may not be able to physically or mentally provide enough milk for all her babies – I’m sure there are many lactating mothers would be happy to donate pumped milk – but it takes women wanting that choice for their babies and demanding it.

Bree on

Just because a child eats table food doesn’t mean their main or supplementary source of nutrition should not be breastmilk. A 2.5 year old may not need to nurse as much as a 2.5 week old, but a 2.5 year old most certainly still gets nutrition, antibodies, etc. from human milk.

I assume most people give their 2.5 year olds cow’s milk for the vitamins and nutrients. Well, human milk is just the species-specific milk that human children can drink that is better for them than cow’s milk. Cow’s milk is designed for little cows; human milk is designed for little humans. You won’t find a better substance on the planet for young human kids to be ingesting besides breastmilk. A 2.5 year old who is still receiving human milk is one lucky kid!

I know it’s hard to comprehend in our society, but breastfeeding is the biological norm for how children are meant to be fed. The composition of human milk is designed for human children; there is no substitute to match it.

I personally find it sad that people don’t think human children deserve to drink human milk. We are unfortunately not at a place in our society where the education about and availability of human milk is at any sort of adequate level. Until then, I think it is great that women like Kelly Rutherford are presenting ideas to the general public that may make some people really change their assumptions and do more research. I really wish that someone had informed me about the facts regarding breastfeeding before I supplemented my first born with formula for convenience rather than medical necessity.

nika on

I think the problem with trish is the way she said it, not with her comfort zone. I agree with all those that said that people like her are the reason for a very low BF among north american mothers.

@ Paola, your story sounds very similar to mine, i also dont feel much support from some people and its very said. I would appreciate some encouragement instead. Hang in there !

Allison on

Oh Shanta get off of your soap box now please. I’m all for breastfeeding if you can and if it’s best for one’s family but good lord! Frankly who do you think you are? Seeing as how you were uneducated about the benefits of breastfeeding your own children, one would think you would have a softer, kinder way of trying to reach other women about the values of what your preaching! I think every woman knows in todays world that breast is best but for heavens sake- it doesn’t always work out that way.

SweetDiva on

From the comments both Kelly and her husband have made in the media about each other, I can’t help but believe neither would stop at nothing to win custody. A judge is less likely to take a child from a nursing mom and I think that’s part of the reason why Kelly continues so long.
As much as we debate whether to breastfeed or not, we’ll have to concede that either way there are no guarantees!

christina on

Trish — I completely agree with you!!!!!! After 14 or so months I get really creeped out, and the idea of a toddler breast feeding simulateneously is just bizarre and gross to me too.

kblogger on

Breastfeeding is normal, acceptable, and encouraged by medical institutions, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, who recommends, “Exclusive breastfeeding for approximately the first six months and support for breastfeeding for the first year and beyond as long as mutually desired by mother and child.” http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/feb05breastfeeding.htm

Human breastmilk is made specifically for human babies. Formula certainly has its place in medically indicated instances, but it should not be as broadly marketed as an equivalent breastmilk substitute, because, as cow breastmilk (or soybeans) it simply is not.

Unfortunately, because men and women are so undereducated and undersupported when it comes to breastfeeding, too many infants are raised on formula instead of breastmilk, thinking it is an equivalent choice, and that is a disservice to our population. Humans would live longer, healthier, more productive lives if they were given milk specifically designed for humans, instead of other species milk (which has been altered, processed, and greatly changed, not to mention water added which can contain toxic chemicals).

I praise this celebrity for speaking up about the benefits & experience of breastfeeding. More positive attention to breastfeeding will bring more openness, education, and acceptance to what should be considered the normal way to feed baby humans.

Crystal on

Tasha-I COMPLETELY agree with you! It is gross and just the thought of that infant and that 2 1/2 year old nursing at the same time gives me the creeps. That being said gaia’s mom you are WAYYYY out of line. That’s all I’m gonna say because my other thoughts/comments aren’t appropriate for this board! You need to stop being so judgemental and rude! PERIOD!!

Crystal on

Oops! I meant Trish! I agree with Trish!

CelebBabyLover on

SweetDiva- Like another poster said, Kell said LONG BEFORE she and Daniel ever split that she planned to do attachment parenting and do child-led weaning. Besides, do you really think she’d force Hermes to keep nursing if he didn’t want to?

planetjen on

A 2.5 year old will never be nursing so much that it would interfere with custody or visits. Seriously? WOuld we be judging her so much ont his if she was stil lhappily married and nurising a toddler?
And by the way, how much can one get away with just by giving the diclaimer of “that’s just my opinion?” What if I turned around and said “I ifnd formula feeding gross and disgusting and it gives me the creeps – just my opinion! don’t get upset! Your way out of line for getting upset with me for only expressing my opinion!”
As if.
FTR – I dont feel that way about formula feeding, but just turn the tables ladies before you post such sweeping statements…

gaia's mom on

Planetjen,

Thank you! I get so tired of this “this is just my opinion” crap. Everyone has opinion on everything, a lack of an opinion philosophically is an opinion. Not all opinions are valid. Not all opinions warrant respect. Not everything is in shades of gray.

Usually I am very open and polite to differing opinions I hear on this site but these opinions against breastfeeding and tandem nursing are just juvenile. Crystal practice what you preach.

Trish on

planetjen & gaia’s mom: actually since we do still have freedom of speech, all opinions ARE valid. it’s laughable to think that since YOU disagree with me, my opinion is not valid. ridiculous! since you’ve argued your points so politely and eloquently, i”m almost convinced to start tandem nursing my 4 year old and 16 month old :P after all, since human milk is best for kids, maybe they’ll still get some nutritional benefits from it (i hear there are some great supplements you can take to start production of breast milk).

Crystal on

Trish-of course your opinions are valid and I don’t think you should be subjected to ridicule because you don’t agree with tandem nursing for a child who is well over 2.
Gaia’s mom-I am practicing what I preach by not saying anything at all or telling you how I really feel.
General: I applaud CBB by letting us express our opinions whether right or wrong, agreed or disagreed.

Bree on

Trish, I can’t tell if you are serious or sarcastic about the second part of your post regarding breastfeeding, but I think it would be great if you wanted to relactate, especially for your 16 month old! You could consult with the La Leche League or Kellymom.com. Breastmilk is still very nutritious for toddlers and pre-schoolers, and you are absolutely right, there are products that can help women lactate.

And for the record: freedom of speech is a US Constitutional right with regard to the government and civil liberties. It means the government can’t jail you if you express an opinion, particularly one unfavorable about the government.

It does not mean that every opinion in the world is valid. I could have the opinion that the Earth doesn’t exist. That might be my opinion, but it would not be valid and it would be wrong.

Xxavier'smom on

Shanta, when I made the choice to formula feed my son he was 2.5 months old he lost almost 2 lbs of birth weight because I was not producing anything, we were supplementing formula so that he would not get too low, but at the 2.5 month mark we were told he was lactose intolerant and that it would take 8 weeks before the milk would be out of my system so I could breastfeed him. At that point I decided that the best option was to formula feed him as I had no milk and that he was growing on the formula. So before you say that people are uneducated, maybe learn what is behind the choice, yes it might have been facts but it is not true in all cases. With my next one due in Oct we will see if my milk comes in but if it does not then I will not worry because I have made an educated choice before and will again. It is people that criticize others with your facts that makes more women resentful, and more willing to lump every pro-breastfeed person in the “Breast Feeding Nazi”. And just so you know I am very pro breast, but if others have to choose another method then that is fine too. Too each her own. I am sure most people have made educated decisions regarding their children.

gaia's mom on

Crystal, calling something gross or odd is placing judgement and its rude. Practice what you preach in that respect and keep those decisive opinions to yourself.

Tish it has nothing to do with you disagreeing with me. My husband is an athiest, I’m a catholic. His opinion to me is still valid because its founded in something with a scientific basis, its educated and expressed in a mature fashion, even though I’m of a differing opinion.

ellea on

Gotta say an opinion and a judgement are usually one and the same. When a judge makes a ruling he’s giving his opinion on the case. So we are all judging to a certain extent when voicing any opinion. Not every opinion is valid that’s just ludicrous. If I said black people were dumb and south east asians smelly- but hey thats just my opinion doesn’t make it valid.

for the record thats NOT my opinion.

Crystal on

Gaia’s mom-It is not placing judgement….it’s an OPINION!! MY OPINION!!! I said I thought it was gross (which I still do) and it creeps me out (which it still does)!! You were attacking Trish personally and that’s not right. It amazes me when people get upset about someone else’s opinion. That’s our right as Americans to voice our opinion any way we see fit. I think your opinion is rude and wrong and the way you went about it was ridiculous! You breastfed your daughter! Good for you! If you want to tandem feed your child, again that is your perogative. To imply that it is selfish just because someone doesn’t feel comfortable doing something is judgemental and snooty!

CelebBabyLover on

Crystal- What we’re upset about is the way you and Trish worded it. Of course you have a right to your opinion, but you should also be respectful about it.

Shannon on

Crystal and Trish-it creeps me out that you guys think tandem nursing is YUCK and GROSS. I think you are being very rude and judgemental in the way you expressed your opinions.

And you can’t say anything about it b/c as you said yourselves, I have the right to my opinion. Even if you don’t like it.

Crystal on

It doesn’t matter because ultimately I’m going to do what I want and others will do what they want. I probably will not breastfed. I have a medical condition that would make it impossible for me to nurse. That being said I do not feel like my child is suffering due to me not nursing. My mom nursed two of her children and when I told her the story and she too thought it was weird. Like I said to each his own.

Dhyanamama on

As a midwife I get so tired to the breastfeeding debate and people yelling “Judgment!” “Judgment” when people talk about how breastfeeding is best. It simply is. There are okay and better and best choices in this world and we all make them all the time. Breastfeeding is simply the best choice you can make in feeding your child. It is not a judgment call, it is not whether or not you agree with the opinion, because it is NOT AN OPINION. Scientifically, there is absolutely no substitute for breast milk. NONE. A child will be okay being fed formula, but we have absolutely no idea what the long-term effects are of not breastfeeding our kids on a large scale. Formula was originally intended to be for babies who’s mother’s had died. It was never intended to be for large scale feeding. Do your research and find out the facts. Saying something is better when all the evidence supports you is not an opinion. It is a fact. And get over your prejudices, the World Health Organization suggests all babies be breastfed for at least two years.

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