my boyfriend– not the kids’ bio dad– freaked and got angry, when i told him of my talk with Tim, claiming he is too young, and that it was inappropriate for me to tell him. everyone i have consulted with since, on a “who’s right?”, has said that they agree with me telling him– the fact that he was asking, and didn’t give up on getting mommy to tell him, meant he was ready for the information. he is rather mature for his age, and can handle it, imo.

Here’s how I would handle it: I would make sure that my kid knew exactly what can happen if you have unprotected sex. I would also make it clear that I believe that sex is a a very sacred act that should only be shared between a husband and a wife. However, I would leave it at that. I would not forbid my teenager to have sex.

However, many 6 year olds at least know that babies grow inside mommies in a place called the uterus (or womb, if that’s the term their parents use), and quite a few even know that mommy has eggs and daddy has “seeds” (most parents, to my knowledge, seem to prefer using the term “seeds” when explaining things to very young children.) and that those things can come together in a special way to create a baby.

Anyway, I don’t have kids, but as for how I learned about sex….My parents never really had a huge “talk” with me. They just let me know that the topic was normal, certainly not “taboo” and that I could come to them with questions anytime. Also, when I was just starting to go through puberty, my mom bought me the book “What’s Happening to My Body? Book for Girls”, and we read it together. Along the way, we would stop and discuss what was being talked about in the book, and my mom would ask if I had any questions.

She also shared some of her own thoughts and beliefs about the topic with me during those times (for example, sex is something that should only be shared between a husband and a wife). That above mentioned book also has a chapter covering rape, incest, and child molestation. During that chapter, my mom would continually ask if any of what the book was saying was scaring me, and made it clear that, if it was scaring me, we could take a break from the chapter and discuss my fears.

She also made it clear that it was perfectly okay for me to be scared or uncomfortable with the material in that chapter (or in any of the chapters, for that matter). We also had a few dicussions about hypothetical situations involving sex (such as “What would you do if_____________?” or, “Do you think___________is a good choice for someone to make?”).

Anyway, I think the best thing to keep in mind when talking to kids about sex is to make sure that you make it clear that the topic is not “taboo”, and that they can come to you with questions anytime (although it’s probably a good idea to mention that they shouldn’t be asking questions about sex when you’re, say, in the middle of a crowded restaraunt! In otherwords, make it clear that it’s natural, but it’s also something we only talk about in the privacy of our home or the car, just like going to the bathroom is natural, but we don’t talk about it in public.).

Obviously the answers need to be age-approprite, but other than that, I don’t think there really is such a thing as the “right” age to have “the talk”. Also, I think that, whether or not you’re ready to have “the talk”, it’s important to correct your child if they, for example, claim their cousin-to-be got in their aunt’s belly because she swallowed it!

It’s one thing to be open about the topic of sex and a whole other thing to make it seem like sex is normal for teenagers.