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Sandra Bullock Says Betty White's Take on Stepchildren Gave Her Strength

06/25/2009 at 02:00 PM ET

Steve Granitz/WireImage

At 44 and 87 respectively, who knew that both Sandra Bullock and Betty White shared so much in common? While spending time filming their new movie The Proposal, Sandra — after discovering that her co-star once found herself in the same situation when it came to parenting stepchildren — was only further encouraged that her lifestyle choices have been the right ones.

“[Betty] said, ‘You know what? I never had children biologically. I married someone who had three children. And how blessed I was to have those three stepchildren.’ That’s exactly what happened to me,” Sandra recalls.

“I went, ‘Wow.’ When everyone is going, ‘You should have a baby now,’ I’m like, ‘I could. Maybe I should. But do I need to?’”

Embracing life as a stepmom to husband Jesse James‘ children — Chandler, 14, Jesse James Jr., 11, and Sunny, 5 — has Sandra stepping in to help raise their youngest daughter while her mother Janine Lindemulder serves time for failure to pay taxes. As for the older children, as a result of the couple’s teamwork with mom Karla, things have been smooth sailing. “We all parent together,” she says. “It’s beautiful. It’s like synchronized swimming.”

While the actress is well aware she “may never hear that word ‘mom,’” and admits the lack of a formal title “hurts,” she has come to terms with the bigger picture of parenting. “Being a parent is not about breeding. It’s about caring,” she explains. That, she says, is what remains close to her heart.

“It’s easy to say, but it’s harder to do. But this is the best test of being a parent. And I just have to keep reminding myself I don’t care what I get. I care what I give.”

The Proposal is in theaters now.

Source: USA Today

– Anya

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Showing 67 comments

Nicole on

I love, love, love this woman’s take on parenting. I don’t think I will ever have children, but should my partner have kids already when we meet, I look forward to playing a role in their lives (hopefully positive!)

ada on

love her…

if she doesnt want to have kids, thats great that she doesnt bow to public pressure. its not like shes at any loss for children at her house. and im sure they all love her like a mother anyways.

Laura on

For some reason i get the vibe she is not going to have any biological children. By the way I didn’t realize she was already 44. she looks good!

Lacey on

This was seriously one of the best articals i’ve read in a while. I love her and her take on parenting and what it means to her.

Em on

She’s just fantastic!
Beautifully put.

Mary-Helen on

Because of her outburst @ the media once about this question and screaming about what if she couldn’t have children, I’ve often wondered if it’s a matter of couldn’t as opposed to didn’t want bio children. However, she is a sweet stepmom who obviously loves helping her husband raise the kids and it’s nice to see her want to be involved with their lives.

sdfsd on

Ada, she has never said she doesn’t want children, she has just said that it might not happen for her.

ada on

sdfsd, i was going by her own quote.

“I could. Maybe I should. But do I need to?”

it sounds to me like she doesn’t feel the need to have children. the woman is 44, and she has been married for several years already… it seems like if she had wanted them (assuming of course that there is no reason she couldn’t conceive – although she is making it seem as if that is not the case) then she would have had one.

either way, she sounds perfectly happy and fulfilled.

Di on

So Sandra does not want to be a “breeder” , ok, how offensive to every woman who has endured the whole experience of pregnancy and child birth. To someone who has not and probably will never have children of course the whole pregnancy situation is totally meaningless.

Everyday there are women who die from child birth or come to close to it just so that they can bring a new life into the world such a precious gift and Sandra labels that incredible experience as “breeding”-something akin to animals. Amazing. For most parents, parenting begins at conception with every thought and action dictated by what is in the best interest of the child that has yet to come.

I will never understand why step-parents feel the need to put down the biological connection between parent and child in order to legitimze their relationship to their step-children. Biology obviously means nothing someone to who is not the biological parent.

Brigid on

Recently there’s been a trend in CBB that I really like- individual choices. Between Mayim Bialik talking about her vegan and more eco-conscious approach to childrearing, Ricki Lake talking about having power over your childbirth choices, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi saying parenting isn’t for them, and Sandra Bullock saying being a step-mom is fulfilling enough for her… it’s really great to see all these women are embracing the choices they have made in regards to motherhood. Kudos to all. Even if I don’t feel their decisions would be my own, it’s great to hear these women publically and intelligently making their own choices.

sdfsd on

Not feeling like she needs to have children doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to.

Sandra has said in the past that if she and her husband were to have a child, they would be very happy about it. She has also said in other interviews that she and her husband are not doing anything to prevent pregnancy (so I would assume that conception is not easy for her or it would have already happened). That doesn’t sound like someone who doesn’t want kids.

I think what Sandra is saying here is that she likes kids and would welcome more, but will be okay if she doesn’t have any. Her step-children fulfill her maternal desires.

Sar on

Take it easy Di…. Way to take words and blow them out of proportion. I’m having my third child and had a high risk pregnancy with my second but it never makes me feel entitled to criticize someone who’s never been through pregnancy because that say something that’s not PC enough. SO she said “breeding” so what….. I’m refreshed too see someone who doesn’t feel they have to have a baby biological to them and is perfectly happy with her stepchildren..

sdfsd on

Di, what Sandra said is “Being a parent is not about breeding. It’s about caring.” Why do you have to find something negative about everything? Do you resent your children’s step-parents? Do you not understand/believe in adoption? What Sandra is saying is that there are more ways to become a parent than by giving birth. She is not saying that breeding is wrong, just that there are alternatives.

I have many family members through adoption and I resent your saying that the biological connection is the most important. I can’t change your ignorancy, but I wish you’d try and be a little more respectful of people who build their families non-biologically.

Ruby on

Di – I don’t think Sandra Bullock was in anyway criticising or trying to demean women who get pregnant, carry a child and give birth. Neither do I think she was she ‘putting down the biological connection’.

I read her statement as meaning it’s the way you act as a parent that makes a parent, rather than just the biological fact of creating and giving birth to a child. There are plenty of ‘parents’ who bring a child into the world and then abuse it, neglect it, ignore it etc. You would probably not rate their parenting skills! I don’t think she meant to criticise anyone unduly.

The Writer on

I really like Sandra’s outlook on parenting, and think it’s great that she loves Chandler, Jesse Jr. and Sunny so much. I read that she and Jesse have full custody of Sunny while her mother serves time for tax evasion. I completely understood what she meant about “breeding,” — she HAS three children that she loves, so she doesn’t feel a need to have one herself to feel like a mother. She clearly feels a strong bond to those children and that is enough for her.

And Di, I can’t help but wonder if you’re either ignorant, or you just like starting controversy. I see it all the time in comment threads. Your comment about biological connection is totally offensive — and I say this having been adopted myself — and demeans the hard work and love people like Sandra or Gisele put into their stepchildren.

Lauren on

“Everyday there are women who die from child birth or come to close to it just so that they can bring a new life into the world such a precious gift and Sandra labels that incredible experience as “breeding”-something akin to animals. Amazing.”

I guess this little tidbit will come as a shock to you then-human beings ARE animals. I would think someone who places such a high importance on biology would be aware of such a fact. Amazing indeed, huh??

“I will never understand why step-parents feel the need to put down the biological connection between parent and child in order to legitimze their relationship to their step-children.”

Given your track record on the subject, probably not, since you turn deaf ears to anyone who makes any attempt at reason. But I for one would love to understand the root of your utter bitterness and personal issue with women who have the audacity to love and care for their stepchildren, especially when they have no current mother figure immediately present as with Sunny. This evil stepmother routine of yours is bizarre to say the least.

Shannon on

I thought her comment that being a parent isn’t about breeding was wonderful- there are a lot people in the world who have kids just b/c it’s the norm, or they want to carry on the family line, and then don’t care about themat all. Then this woman comes along, and points out that she isn’t goin to do that, and that she knows parenting is about much more than that, and someone feels the need to put them down?! I applaud her for being able to recognize what it takes to be a good mother, even if she isn’t biologically one herself.

Sandra is a truly classy lady, I have always had a lot of respect for her!

Erin on

Amen, Lauren. You saved me a lot of typing time! Thanks!

Di on

When I hear the word “breeding”, I think of animals as in people who breed certain kind of dogs so to hear that word ascribed to pregnancy and child birth, I find incredibly offensive and riduculous. If you do not want have your own biological children that is fine but do not put down or minimize the role biology plays in parenting because most people do not adopt or raise someone else’s child. Adoption is not for everyone.

For the record, I do not intentionally say things to be controversial and I write what I feel based on what I see and read and it never ceases to amaze me why everyone wants to play “moderator” when my comment has already been approved. If you do not like what I have to say then do not read my comments and move on. The issue of step-parenting and the role the step -parent plays has come up in the past few weeks and my opinion has not change as I’m quite consistent.

Lastly, some people are so petty. I really wish the ridiculous insults such as “ignorant” would to stop and those of who you who make such comments need to grow up and get a life. Okay, let’s see I have a BA from one the top liberal arts colleges in the country and law degree from a law school ranked in the top 25 in the country and just passed one of the toughest bar exams in the country but I’m ignorant, okay. I know a lot a more about life and many different things than most people would think.

Delilah on

Umm Di-
I don’t think she meant breeding as someone who has children being a “breeder” i.e. “the production of offspring”
I suspect she meant breeding in terms of ancestry, or bloodline.
i.e. “A person of noble breeding”

Meaning you don’t need to be in the childs biological bloodline to care for them as a parent would.

The word breeding does have a couple definitions.

eva on

I have a stepmother who was a wonderful role model for me and my siblings when we were young. Now that we’re all adults we love her and we thank her for her sincere love and the effort she made to get close to us instead of pushing us aside as “my husband’s kids,” for respecting our mother and for being the bigger person when us kids drove her crazy. Some of us didn’t make it easy for her.

Eventually it was my turn to fall in love with a man who had a child and whose mother (like Sunny’s mother) was out of the picture for extraordinary circumstances. When my husband died the little girl whose diapers I changed and runny noses I cleaned was taken away from me and placed in the care of her mother, who had severe addictions and problems. Little K was sent to a foster home in less than a month of being with her mother.

I tried to fool myself into thinking that “it was not my place” to interfere because I “was not the REAL parent” but my stepmother’s example and the love that many women like her and Sandra show to little ones made me strong and I fought for my child. Now she’s forever mine and I am hers.

I hope for the day when my child’s birth mother is wise and selfless enough to come to her and support her as all children need but even then K will be my child. K is her birth mother’s, her father’s and mine, the 3 of us made her the beautiful and spunky 10 year old she is now and no, I do not need a DNA test or memories of giving birth to her in a delivery room to cherish her and believe me, I will give my life for this child I did not birth in a heartbeat.

Hea on

Di – Don’t forget, Sandra has a sense of humor.

I love and admire Sandra and Betty’s acting. The Proposal is HILARIOUS and I think Sandra was absolutely darling in this interview. How incredily true her words are.

Delilah on

I just can’t….

I think Sandra Bullock is a lovely lovely woman.

I completely understood the context of her statement, and I only went to a crappy state university.

Alice on

Eva, you story is sad and beautiful at the same time, I am happy you were reunited with your daughter.

Di, stop putting pregnancy on such a pedestal, humans ARE animals, they breed, so what. How is it despising pregnancy to say it? You compare with dogs, but they create life too, you know? They give birth and care for their little ones like us.

She’s not minimizing the role of birthing kids, that would be quite hypocritical, since someone had to birth her children at some point. She’s using it to make it clear that pregnancy and childbirth are just a step, it’s not enough to make you a good parent.

Sandra clearly states that she loves the children and considers herself a parent BUT knows she is not the mom and acknowledges it… she respects the mother(s) and has a good and healthy relationship with Klara for the sake of the children. I find it weird and quite mean that you would criticize her for not respecting mothers who go through pregnancy when she so obviously does.

Bri on

I love Sandra Bullock! She is so sincere and honest….Those kids should feel lucky to have a step-mom who cares as much as she does!
By the way Delilah, your hilarious!!
Di doesn’t deserve all this attention…

Erica on

Di, I’m not going to knock your opinion because we all have rights to holding them, but there is a marked difference between being book smart and being ignorant; the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

That said, I want Sandra Bullock to have kids ONLY if she wants them, not because she felt she had to. In any case all three of her stepchildren are extremely lucky to have her in their lives, and vice versa.

Meg on

I love Sandra Bullock. She has such class and always says what she thinks, yet makes sure to be respectful. Of course, she is HILARIOUS. She is an idol and a beautiful person. When people tell me I look like her I am ALWAYS extremely honored – what a great woman to be compared to! This is a great article.

sara on

I’m waiting for this crazy celebrity pregnancy craze to end. These poor acresses are put on bump watch the second they either are in a relationship or marry. Who knows how many of these celebrity moms became moms just because it’s en vogue and are probably horrible mothers. Then these poor actresses like Sandra Bullock or Jennifer Aniston are incessantly asked when they’re having babies. What if they’re infertile and want to grieve in private? Sandra has probably passed her fertile years and these remarks are her defense mechanism. Leave her alone.

I was infertile and blessedly became a mom 3 years ago so I’m sensitive to what they may be feeling. I can’t imaging yearning for a child and being in the spotlight, and having reporters constantly asking me if I’m pregnant yet.

Again, can’t wait for this celebrity a baby craze to end…

Kara on

You can have degree after degree and an entire alphabet after your name, and still be ignorant.

Good for Sandra, she gets that what she gives is more important than what she gets in the long run.

Sarah on

Ignorance does not dissapear based on someones merit… Some of the smartest people are the most ignorant people there are…. Just saying…

allison on

Seriously Bri- I agree! Di is almost always negative on this thread. Just brush her off.

kris on

eva – Way to go! Good for you for fighting for the child you loved and cared for so she could grow and blossom with what sounds like a loving Mom.

I love Sandra Bullock. She really seems to be thankful for what she has and never seems to take herself to seriously. And good for Betty for helping her see that there are no right and wrong ways only what’s best for your family.

Sarah K. on

Delilah lol, that was hilarious :)

I also totally got what Sandra was saying and I thought it was pretty obvious. And yes, humans are animals. End of story.

Sarah M. on

Erica – You took the words out of my mouth. I was trying to think of a good way to phrase my thoughts, and you did it for me.

Di – Your comment about the biological bond being the most important one deeply offends me. If adoption isn’t for you, that’s fine. But it is for a lot of families. That doesn’t mean that they have any less of a bond with their children than you do yours. I don’t personally know anyone that has been adopted, in my family everyone has had several children, so there simply hasn’t been room for more space-wise. But I would LOVE to adopt a child someday. Also have a biological child (God willing). That doesn’t mean that I would treat an adopted child ANY differently than a biological one. Your comment demeans anyone who has been adopted or has adopted a child.

Eva – I’m so glad that everything worked out for you! You are entirely right. Being a parent is more about how a child is treated after they are here, not how they got here. A child doesn’t think “This woman didn’t give birth to me, so she’s not my mom.” They think “This woman is my mom because she takes care of me when I’m sick, feeds me, comforts me when I’m sad or hurt, etc.”

As others have said, Sandra is a very classy lady!

Stella Bella on

WOW, what an incredible woman! Hats off to Sandra Bullock!

ada on

di -

i was all set to ignore you until you started spouting off your academic achievements, as if that somehow sets you above others.

your comments were offensive and managed to be both ignorant and hilarious.

humans ARE animals. we all have sex and make babies and give birth and care for our young. what separates us from other animals is not reproduction, but higher thinking.

and how dare you say that the biological bond is the most important between mother and child? what about all the children who are adopted or raised by step-parents who love them above all else? what about all the biological parents who beat their kids, murder them, abuse them, abandon them, etc?

that is insulting beyond belief. popping out a few kids does not make someone a good mother. it takes much, much more than that.

as for your amazing education, obviously it has not given you much real understanding.

E's Mommy on

I want to commend Sandra and CBB for bring attention to the different types of families that make up our world. I’m infertile, plain and simple. Would I have preferred to carry my child in my uterus? Some days, yes. But we were blessed to be able to adopt our daughter, and let me tell you: she is more like me than any child I could have grown under my heart (not just in it.) You truly get the children you’re meant to have, when you’re meant to. My delivery room was a crowded airport, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Eva- your story is both heartbreaking and inspiring. Thank you so, so much for sharing it!

Hea on

Di said: “Okay, let’s see I have a BA from one the top liberal arts colleges in the country and law degree from a law school ranked in the top 25 in the country and just passed one of the toughest bar exams in the country but I’m ignorant, okay. I know a lot a more about life and many different things than most people would think.”

Academic merits are not a way to measure ignorance. The former president of the US was ignorant.

Sitting through bar exams does not make you an expert on life. I do agree, however, that you probably know a lot about life. I do to, having had brain surgery at 16 for a tumor I still have, caring for a sick dad at 18 and still going to college and all that. I can, however, sometimes be ignorant as well.

Lauren on

“Lastly, some people are so petty. I really wish the ridiculous insults such as “ignorant” would to stop and those of who you who make such comments need to grow up and get a life. Okay, let’s see I have a BA from one the top liberal arts colleges in the country and law degree from a law school ranked in the top 25 in the country and just passed one of the toughest bar exams in the country but I’m ignorant, okay.”

And I’ve been pursuing my BA at a Tier One university and chosen to continue my studies through a prestigious program at Oxford University. Yep, I really need to get cracking on that life…

sdfsd on

“If you do not want have your own biological children that is fine but do not put down or minimize the role biology plays in parenting because most people do not adopt or raise someone else’s child.”

No one is putting down biology in parenting. You are the one putting down the non-biological connection between a parent and a child.

“I really wish the ridiculous insults such as “ignorant” would to stop and those of who you who make such comments need to grow up and get a life. Okay, let’s see I have a BA from one the top liberal arts colleges in the country and law degree from a law school ranked in the top 25 in the country and just passed one of the toughest bar exams in the country but I’m ignorant, okay.”

For someone who thinks she’s so smart, I can spot at least five grammatical errors in the above quotes.

Getting a BA and passing a bar exam has nothing to do with whether or not one is ignorant. I guess they didn’t teach you that in college.

Alana on

She’s truely a wonderful person, i always loved her and her sennse of humor. Sandra sounds absolutely lovely and she has her mindset in the right way. Love her

Eva – your story had me crying like a baby, but those were really happy tears, because i’m so happy that your little girl is with you and you sound like adoring mum and lovely person. Good luck to you both and hav a harmony in all the things you plan to do or experience:)))

Andrea_momof2 on

Is there an ignore list on this site? I’d like to put Di on it. Her comments are always insane, she has a lot of issues with blended families, adoption, fathers, I could go on.

I think it’s wonderful that Sandra loves her stepchildren. I don’t care what anyone says, a stepparent IS a parent to a child.

Daze on

Reading between the lines, it sounds as if Sandra really wants to be a Mom herself, and is having some resistence problems with her stepkids. Step-parenting is difficult. The children often resent the authority of an “outsider”. I think Jesse thinks he has enough kids. One of their own would tie everyone together though. It did for us.

Shannon on

I love coming onto these sites and seeing how everyone freaks out about someone’s comments. I thought this was a free country and everyone has the right to their own opinion. If Di feels that way it is her right. No one has the right to tell you that your opinion is not valid that is why it is an opinion.

Alex on

Eva – whenever I have a bad day, I’m going to remember your story. You fought for your child and didn’t give up. That, on any level, is a total inspiration. Thank you for sharing, you and your daughter deserve every happiness.

Hea on

Daze – You’re reading way much into this. I’m not seeing it at all.

Danielle on

One type of family that people don’t seem to think about is parents who step up and become foster parents to children. My parents already had three biological children and when we were teens, my parents with our blessing starting having foster children brought into our lives. Ive had all together eight foster brothers and some we saved their lives from what they were to become. There was abuse and neglect. My oldest foster brother came from a family of nine children who were not being taken care of properly and hardly fed. Now he is an adult and working. He still has contact with his biological family and my parents never stood in the way of that, they just helped raise him into an adult.

Lori on

Di-your basically right everyone has a “opinion” but when yours is almost constantly “negative” of course people are going to say something! I dont post much on this forum, but I do look at all the pics etc… and my “opinion” which is not “negative” in any way is if you dont have anything “positive” to say then why say it? just asking….for attention? or bored? or to start turmoil on the forum? cause if not then why post some of the off the wall stuff you post? no one “has” to read your posts ..you are so correct..but really if your not gonna post something “good” or “up filling” in some way, theres really no reason for you to post right? unless you have alternative reasons for posting “negative” things before you type them.just saying….

Brigid on

in the gay community, it’s common to refer to heterosexual couples as “breeders” to kind of take a jab at one of the key arguments against gay marriage being that heterosexual marriage encourages children and homosexual couples shouldn’t be allowed to marry since they can’t biologically have children.

Apparently law degrees allow you to go into major diatribes over semantics.

nrosetulip on

This has been a fun read. Parenting and “breeding” are always hot topics. Best to combine them! I’m a stepmom of 3 and mom of 2. They ALL make it difficult at times. It’s their job. My stepsons have a wonderful mother, she is incredibly good to my kids, and she and my husband have never had a legal document to declare who gets whom when. What I like about Sandra is that she’s above board, honest, and seems to get what it means to be the step-parent. What she said about the harmony with the older kids’ mom is a lesson EVERYONE should get. I take our situation for granted, and am so often reminded how frequently parting adults put their own interests above their kids’. Lastly, my first childbirth experience was a nightmare… Once my daughter was home and healthy I think I quietly packed the experience away… biology be damned! (And I’m qualified to say all these smart things because I’m a LIBRARIAN!)

felicity on

Great article on Sandra. She’s definitely one smart gal with a good head.

But deferring to another poster on the board, I’ll have to concur that not only is ignorance part of the equation, but elitism as well. Not endearing in the least.

Kat on

I agree… a great stepmom like her should get her own title.

the kids could come up with a special name for her… after all, some grandmas are called nana and other things… so why not invent a new word for what is basically a second mom?

Petra on

I don´t understand why the discussion has turned into bashing Di´s opinion. I have absolutely the same impression from the article as Di.
But after all I can understand Sandra Bullock, what should she say else? She is 44 and probably isn´t able to have a biological child anymore. Actually I find it very tactless to ask 44-year-old woman if she is planning to have a baby of her own…

Beth on

As an adoptive mom of one and a stepmom of two – I loved reading this story!! Becoming a mom through means other than biological is a wodnerufl experience and one I am lucky to have had…

I find it extrmely offensive that anyone would dismiss the bonds you can have with a child just because you didn’t give birth to them – pregnancy lasts 9 months – motherhood lasts a lifetime.

Just to add…I didn’t adopt “someone else’s child” – I adopted MY child!!!!

Erin on

I adore Sandra and Betty (how could you not?) and LOVE that she’s open about the fact that not everyone needs to have biological children. A family is what you make of it. Many people who have biological children shouldn’t have and many people who should be parents are on years-long waiting lists to adopt. Crazy world.

Nika on

I do think that breeding was a poor choice of words.

I immediately think of farm animals being breeded for meat…

JMO

D on

Di-

Feel how you want, but giving birth is breeding no matter how you perceive it.

And yes,Biology is important but love is much more important. My husband is just as much the father of my oldest child as my ex husband, in fact more so, because he has always been there for her and will always be.

And by the way, ignorance has absolutly nothing to do with intelligence. You can be the most intellegent person in the world and still be ignorant. It’s called being opened minded….

Mia on

Everyone’s experiences are different: Some people have kids biologically, some adopt, some use a surrogate, some have step kids, and some don’t have kids at all. Everyone is different, and goes whatever direction works the best for them. Her step-kids are lucky that they have such a loving step-mom, and I’m sure they will become close(r) as the kids get older.

gianna on

I think she has problems having kids, and that’s why she hasn’t. Not so much that she doesn’t want, more so that it’s not happening. And breeding is probably her way of feeling better about not having bio kids. Stepkids are in your life as long as you stay married, and than usually if you divorce, your not part of their lives, look at halle berry.

lulumay on

Her words give me comfort. I am 43 & VERY single. I work with kids for a living. I love them. I want nothing more to have a child but I know that may not happen due to age & circumstance. But if I were to meet a man who had children I know that I would love them & want what is best for them. I feel that way about all of my friends’ kids. I would throw myself in front of a bus for them. As for adoption it is not something I am ruling out but financially I am not sure I could do it on my own. I am glad more & more people on this site are starting to be a bit more understanding of other peoples life situations/choices. xo

Kimmy on

I actually understand why she chose the word “breeder” and it wasn’t meant to offend. There are many people who have kid after kid after kid and don’t give a rats a$$ about them and are not real parents. Parenting ISN’T about how many kids you have BUT how you love, care and raise them. If she is doing that without being their biological mother then she is being a parent and a damn good one!

Sarah M. on

Shannon – Yes, everyone has a right to their opinion. But they don’t have to demean others in getting their point across. Which is what Di seems to do with just about every comment that she makes. (Not just on this particular post, but on all of the others that I’ve seen her comment on!) You can disagree with grace and dignity, or you can see just how rude you can be. Di seems to just want to be rude, IMO.

Noone really knows why Sandra doesn’t have any bio children, or if she actually does want them or not (except herself and perhaps those closest to her). But it can’t be denied that her step-children are lucky to have her in their lives!

sdfsd on

“She is 44 and probably isn´t able to have a biological child anymore. Actually I find it very tactless to ask 44-year-old woman if she is planning to have a baby of her own.”

While it is not too common for a 44-year-old woman to give birth to a baby of her own, it is common for someone that age to adopt a child of her own, so I don’t think her age has anything to do with it. I think it is very tactless to ask ANYONE, no matter the age or gender, when they are planning to have a baby of their own.

sdfsd on

“I find it extrmely offensive that anyone would dismiss the bonds you can have with a child just because you didn’t give birth to them – pregnancy lasts 9 months – motherhood lasts a lifetime.”

I agree! Besides, fathers NEVER give birth and sometimes they have a stronger bond with their child than the mother does.

Bree on

Di, I am sooooo glad you cleared that up. You bristle at the “insult” you took ‘ignorant’ to be, then you tell others to get a life? Don’t throw stones from your glass house, lady. You need to stay off of message boards, because you like to stir up controversy, whether you say you do or not. It shows. If you had even minutely understood what Sandra said about breeding, you wouldn’t have said a bloody word.

Karen on

Di – your comments were offensive to me. I lost my only biological child due to pregnancy complications on February 16, 2006. I will never have another biological child, but I do have 4 stepchildren, 2 stepgrandchildren and another stepgrandchild on the way. I love each of them as my own – biology or not. You may be book smart, but you have shown your heart ignorance.

mary on

I don’t see anything offensive about what Di said. She is unhappy the biological bond is, in her view, not sufficiently emphasized or valued. BIG DEAL. It is not her duty (nor anyone else’s) to be inclusive or “positive.” I’m so tired of you positivism bullies… people are allowed to have real thoughts and (I’m sure this saddens you) but they are permitted to express them hear.

Being a bully in the name of being positive or inclusive is still being a bully……

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