Cameron Diaz Makes 'a Different Choice'

06/01/2009 at 08:00 AM ET
Steve Granitz/WireImage

The media’s preoccupation with whether or not she will someday welcome a child is something Cameron Diaz understands. “I think it’s normal for people to ask that,” the 36-year-old actress tells PARADE, “especially of someone my age, because it seems like the obvious thing: ‘Why haven’t you done it?'” And while the question does not leave her feeling bothered, at the same time, it has no easy answer. “It’s not the cross I bear,” Cameron says. “I’m not somebody who is going to declare either way if I’m absolutely going to or I’m absolutely not going to have children.”

“I have no idea. I’m still young. I have an unbelievable life. In some ways, I have the life that I have because I don’t have children.”

As an aunt four-times over and as someone who has attended three births, Cameron feels she has a well-informed view of motherhood. “I know what it’s like,” she says. “I totally get the whole picture.” While she likes what she sees, she remains very much on the fence about whether or not it is something she wants for herself. “I don’t think it’s a compromise to have children…I don’t think it’s a compromise not to,” she explains. “I think it’s just a different choice.”

“People might say, ‘That’s bull. She actually really wants to have a baby.’ My answer is: ‘No! Everything I’m bringing into my life right now isn’t geared toward that. It might be one day.'”

Cameron can next be seen in My Sister’s Keeper, opening June 26.

Source: PARADE

FILED UNDER: News , Parenting

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madison on

What she says here makes alot of sense to me. Everybody is different. For some people, the desire to have kids (or not), is an independent thought and one that is very clear to them. For others that desire may be born out of other factors; i.e. meeting that person that want to build a family with, or being in a place in your life where you feel ready and able to welcome children. The answer to that question may be cut & dry for some people, but its not for everyone.

Ivey on

I think she would be an excellent mum if she chooses that road.

kai on

lol, that was a very long-winded, vague answer. It’s hard to believe these questions don’t bother her, I would go INSANE.

Kimber Christian on

I have a lot of respect for Cameron and people who admit that perhaps kids are not for them. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a parent, it doesn’t mean you don’t like kids! I have 5 nieces and 1 nephew who I adore but am still on the fence about having my own. I can see myself going either way and only time will tell how it all turns out!

Georgia41 on

She’s still young??? She’s 36!!!!

brannon on

36 is still young. had my son at 30 and everyone around here acted like i was a baby. 40 is the new 30 which is excellent news 🙂 4 people i work with are pregnant right now – all in their 40’s. they look great and feel fabulous so more power to them 🙂

lis on

I feel that 36 is kind of pushing it for saying you’re young in terms of pregnancy-years. It seems like all the info I see around calls being an “older mother” giving birth after age 35.

babyboopie on

It was a very rambly kind of explanation! I don’t know what it is, whether she truly DOESN’T want kids at the moment or it’s she DOES want kids but is saying she doesn’t because she’s not with anybody, the right guy (or is she?)…. But yeah, what a confusing answer! And I do believe she’ll be a great mummy if she has kids!

allison on

30 is not the new 40 when it comes to having children I’m sorry to say brannon. In fact after 35 a womans risk to her baby by having all sorts of problems is so much greater. There are reasons why it becomes more and more difficult for a woman to get pregnant when she reaches her mid 30’s.

Crystal on

I couldn’t agree more. Why should other people be worried about your biological clock if you aren’t??!! Good for Cameron for taking a stand and saying I’m 36, still young, and I’ll think about that later. If it happens it happens if it doesn’t it doesn’t. There is no reason to worry yourself sick over something that may or may not happen. ENJOY YOURSELF!!! That’s what your 20s and 30s are all about!!! 🙂

Chris on

Wow 36 is no longer young? Most women can have children until their mid-forties, no? And she could always adopt, right?

I think if Cameron found someone like Matthew McConaughey who is adventurous like her….she would settle down with him in a heartbeat.

Lacey on

36 is not young when it comes to having a child. Maybe I think this because i’m 22 with a child. I refuse to have kids pass 30.
I don’t think Cameron will have kids anyways.

Bri on

Good for her for speaking her mind, but I’m inclined not to agree with her in thinking that 36 is still young (as far as conceiving goes anyway). MOST women are not getting pregnant in their mid-forties. I know a lot of women approaching 40 that are pregnant as well, but with each comes the possibility for some real complications, much more so than a woman in her twenties or early thirties.

Amanda on

Like it or not, 36 is NOT young as far as pregnancy goes. There is a reason if you are over 35 you are classified as ‘advanced maternal age’. There are more risks involved, my sister in law had her first child at 35 and now has had to make the difficult decision to not have anymore (she’s 36 now) due to her age and you bet she wishes she could have more. I think comments from people that 36 is young as far as pregnancy goes misleads a lot of people and that could lead to heartache for those who believe it until they get there and get a reality check.
As far as Cameron goes, that is great she isn’t bothered by the questions and if she makes the choice to not have children, good for her. Some people just aren’t the ‘parent type’ and I think it’s much more responsible than to have children just because that is what you think you are supposed to do

Chris on

I guess one question is, if she’s not ready or with someone she wants to have a child with….what is she supposed to do or say?

brannon on

I get what all of you are saying but I think we need to respect that each person is different. It is also misleading to say it’s always difficult after 35. There are plenty of people in their 20’s having difficulty too. I don’t think she should rush out and have kids just because she is passing some guideline age? When the time is right for her (or anyone,) I am sure she will consult a doctor and do what’s best. But there are an awful lot of people having healthy children in their 40’s. I also agree that its an awkward question because as she says, she may not want them and it certainly gets annoying to say that over and over again. Not really any way for her to win here. Imagine if she had said, well, I’m not ready but time is up so I guess I’ll have one. Not ideal either obviously.

Julia on

Gotta chime in to agree that 36 seems plenty young to me to still be undecided about having children. I had my first at 36, my second at 38, and a SURPRISE pill baby at 40. I became pregnant with my oldest on our first try, our second after 3 tries, and our third while NOT trying. I’ve never had a pregnancy loss, I’ve had easy pregnancies and easy deliveries, and all three of my children are perfectly healthy. I think there’s more at play than just a number that reflects your biological age — there’s family history, genetics, a woman’s overall health, good prenatal care, and much more. I eat well, don’t smoke, take vitamins, drink plenty of water, exercise every day, rarely drink alcohol, and otherwise take good care of myself. I exercised throughout all three of my pregnancies — I was still running 3 miles pretty much every day in the month before my kiddos were born. So at 36, seems to me that she’s got time (not loads of time, but enough) to decide whether she wants to have a biological child.

Lorelei on

I absolutely agree that it is her decision to have a child or not and she may be young, but not for childbearing. Fertility does decline. It has to be difficult to be asked “When are you having a baby?” by strangers constantly. I was constantly asked by family and friends and that was annoying.
It is absolutely her choice alone and the idea that she would have beautiful babies is not enough of a reason to have one. I also don’t like the comment (not made by Cameron) that she has a “well-informed view of motherhood.” Being an aunt and attending deliveries is not the same as being a day in day out mother or even really understanding what it entails. If you are raising a child, as a mother, aunt, grandmother etc. then you understand motherhood. Just my opinion.

Brooke on

I completely get where Cameron is coming from. SOME WOMEN DO NOT WANT KIDS EVER. I am 38 years old, and blissfully child-free. I feel bad that she has to couch her answers that way. I would say “No, I don’t want kids. I love my life, don’t feel like I am missing out on anything and do not appreciate these types of questions”.

Momta2 on

Had my first baby at 30, my second at 34 and now at 37 I may try to get one in to deliver by 38…like other posters stated, although the risks may increase after 35, PLENTY of moms in my circle have conceived and delivered more than one baby after 38…and often have more energy than the youngsters!!

Electra on

She could be staying on top of her reproductive health. For all you know she could still be in tip top shape when it comes to that.

Erin on

For those who think it’s misleading for Cameron to say 36 is still young to be thinking about having a baby – can I put in my two cents and say it’s very scary that anyone would consider a celebrity as their sole source of information on the topic! Until women get educated about science, their own body and the choices available to them in life we’re going to keep having the same problems of say, teen pregnancy, shock at not being able to have kids at 45, not being able to adopt at the drop of a hat…etc. Good for Cam for speaking her mind, she obviously has a bright one.

mazzie on

julia you are very lucky and blessed. i had my first at 29 and i am now 36 and after two years of trying the doctors have told me that it is unlikely to happen naturally. while this make me sad, it also makes me think how lucky i am to have had my daughter and how lonely life would seem without her. some people however do not feel the need to have kids and while i accept this, my natural reaction is to feel very sorry for them even if they do not want my pity. this is because i truly believe that until you have a child, you have no idea what you have been missing. however some people do make the decision not to have them and i understand that. yes it is hard at times, but i live for her laughter. i’m just devastated i can’t give her a brother or sister to enjoy like my husband and i both had.

Barbi Iliana on

I’m 47 and just had twins, naturally. This is my third. Had my second at 40 and my first at 38. People give too much attention to age. Where I was born (Cuba), women go on having babies even in their 50s and 60s. Then again, women live to be centenerians (like my paternal grandmother) so it’s not that big a deal.

Valerie on

She may mean that if she has children some day, she could adopt. Also, she has lots of money and can afford the best fertility treatment and help if she goes that route.

Too bad that she has to be asked such personal questions so often. I too wish she could just deflect the question as “too personal!”

suzanne on

She could very well of frozen her eggs for later use.
Just something to chew on.
And 36 is young…maybe not in egg time, but in years.

Amanda on

First I’ve done research on women and fertility and let me just say that it does become much more difficult after 40 to get and stay pregnant. Do your own research, talk to your doctor, and please don’t let celebrities and posts on message boards lead you to believe that you can safely put off having kids.

Second, I truly admire women, and men, who know they’re not ready for kids or do not want children at all. Often times during the past 4 years and 3 pregnancies I’ve thought that people who KNOW they don’t want kids may have had a clearer picture of it then I did. But, I also cannot imagine my life without my children and I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom. It’s the only job I’ve ever had that I care this much about, work this hard at, or am this grateful for having and being.

noam on

i think she means she is young in terms of life, not necessarily childbearing. the average lifespan for an american woman is something like 78 or so, so she’s got forty years ahead of her, a lot of living…

Angelique on

The health of the mother is of much greater importance than her age when it comes to everything, including having children. Cameron Diaz appears to be in good health and it only takes nine months to have a baby!

Kate on

I don’t understand the comments from people who say “36 is not young in terms of pregnancy years.” Pregnancy is only one way to achieve motherhood, and there was no point in Cameron’s comments where she said she was only open to pregnancy. You can adopt until you’re 50, you can hire a surrogate at any age, you can freeze eggs and save them for later, or you could sill get pregnant after 40 either with help or (in some cases) without. So I think 36 is definitely still young in terms of options for motherhood.

Daniella on

I give her credit for voicing her opinions, it is her choice & if she does not wish to have children, then it is best that she does not have children. She obviously knows herself very well, and if she decides in the next few to have children & has difficulty, then she can try to adopt.

However, I do have to disagree with some people on here about a person’s health being more important in conceiving than anything else. I’m as healthy & fit as a person can be, but I have one big problem: polycystic ovarian syndrome. Many women have this fertility syndrome & never realize it until it’s too late when they try to conceive in their thirties & forties. I caught mine very early at 18-years of age.

I have extensively talked with my doctor about the high possibility of me being infertile. Overall, my health is superb as long as I am on the pill. However, having children young, in my twenties & early thirties, is something my doctor very highly recommended. She said that a good number of women get lucky at these advanced ages & fall pregnant. However, she also said that we rarely hear about the larger number of women in this age bracket who try so hard & unfortunately are never able to conceive due to their advanced age.

megan on

It’s not just age Cameron has working against her. She’s been on and off the “trying to quit smoking again” bandwagon for a while.

Maddie on

Has it really become politically incorrect to suggest that older women in their thirties and forties are more likely to have trouble having kids? How silly and sad. Anyway, good for Cameron for just enjoying her great life as it is. Our book club read “My Sister’s Keeper” last year and we all loved it; as a mom of three myself, I found the whole story so heart-breaking.

citymama on

I like that Cameron keeps an open mind. She said she’s not ready ready right now but “she might be one day.”

That’s what life’s like. You can never say anything definitively, take life by its surprises 🙂

T on

I like that she doesn’t get offended when she is asked about having kids. It shows that she is truly comfortable with her choice and that she doesn’t have to defend herself. I so love her. I also wish she and Justin had worked out.

Laura on

I had my first baby at 30 and my second at 34. When i was talking to my ob about my planned csection for the second she asked if i was considering getting my tubes tied. so i do think there is some truth that after 35 you are getting old to have a baby. the risks definatley increase for you and the baby. and all the paper work i had to sign referred to 35 and older when delivering as advanced maternal age.

CelebBabyLover on

mazzie- Have you looked into adoption?

eternalcanadian on

I think it is so misleading for celebrities to go around saying “I’m still young” when they’re already 36. Nature knows what it is doing, and the older you get, like 36, your body is basically winding down to enter menopause. That’s just my opinion after seeing the incredible increase in the use of fertility measures after the age of 35. I don’t know if anyone watches Oprah anymore, but she did a fantastic show about perimenopause and it was really interesting to hear that women usually start this stage of their lives in their mid-30s. So how can anyone say “oh, I’m only 36, i’m still young, plenty of years before having kids.” Yes, we are living to our 80s and beyond, but our bodies say, doesn’t matter, i’m shutting down the baby factory starting at 35 and good luck after that.

mazzie on

my husband has said he couldn’t raise a child that isn’t biologically ours. i understand, a lot of men feel that way. so i haven’t let myself think about it. all other routes are pretty complicated as well since i suffer from pcos but don’t want to undergo treatment to conceive. i’ve got to the point where i’m not thinking about another child at the moment and am focusing instead on my daughter who i am eternally grateful for.

MammaDucky on

“Cameron feels she has a well-informed view of motherhood. “I know what it’s like,” she says. “I totally get the whole picture.” ”
Bahahahahaha! No offense to Ms. Diaz, but no, she doesn’t. Being present at 3 births and playing Aunty doesn’t give you the whole picture or show you what it’s like.

Sam & Freya's Mum on

If Cameron doesn’t want kids it’s her perrogative but she should be realistic & not wait til late 30’s then panic, but she’s an adult, so up to her. Who knows, she might decide against kids or have no probs conceiving naturally as sometimes happens when least expected to slightly older mums, who knows what’s around corner for anyone, or she could leave it then regret the choice. I caught up with a friend who’s almost 44 at weekend very unlikely to have a child with her age, way life’s worked out as single and didn’t want to do it alone, her choice & respect that. She has a full life and lots of friends – I don’t necessarily envy it as happy with family, but she said she came to terms with it a few years ago. I agree with a lot of the posts though, it’s not hugely old but can’t deny the facts after 35 in terms of egg quality (although feels weird to be classed ‘advanced maternal age’ at 35, lol). I didn’t want to wait til after 35 to start and risk it, but who knows, could’ve had to. Sadly of course some people in their 20’s also have problems with PCOS or Endometriosis etc, cruel twist of fate. I had first 3 mths off turning 33, & 2nd just after 36th birthday, feel fortunate to have a 2nd after a miscarriage in between the two pregnancies, didn’t take anything for granted. No-one knows what’s around corner, suddenly single or suffer infertility, secondary infertility etc even when fairly young. Mazzie, hope things work out for you, must be frustrating & don’t know what that’s like to experience, but as you say, you have your daughter who you’re so grateful for.

angelika05 on

I didn’t know that I wanted to have kids for a long time…in fact all through my twenties I was almost certain that I didn’t want kids. I had my son at 29 (my husband is older, and if we had kids, he didn’t want to wait forever) and I am SO glad I did, but I totally understand the concept of not wanting kids. It completely changes your lifestyle and I really admire the people who can just admit it and move on – it is a completely valid and acceptable life choice!

CelebBabyLover on

eternalcandian- Well, Cameron IS still young…Just not in terms of child-bearing!

JER on

I have to agree with some of the others, when it comes to procreation, 40 is not the new 30. Maybe in other aspects of life, but women are born with a finite number of eggs, unlike men who are always producing sperm. The number diminishes faster as you get older. And as other readers have stated, there are many more risks associated in pregnancies where mom is over 35. What Cameron does have in her favour is money. If she does choose to have a baby later in life she can afford the costly treatment to get her there if in fact she needs that help (and the longer she waits, the better the chances are that she will)!

Mimmi on

I am 7 months pregnant, and I am turning 25 in a week.
I am told frequently by alot of people that me turning 25 means I’m half dead!!!
I don’t feel like I have wasted my life, or am even going to, I am still young and can have ‘the good times’ later in life. Which I’d prefer.
Also she says that she wouldn’t have the life she has if she had kids. Many other celebrities have shown they can have their cake and eat it too.
So I reckon she is waiting for Mr Right before saying yes or no to that question.
Age, well it’s her decision, and having babies early is not for everyone. But as long as the woman is well informed of the difficulties/problems of later pregnancy, Such as a higher chance of having a child with down syndrome, there is no problem.