Sophie Ellis-Bextor Raves About Age Difference Between Sons

05/30/2009 at 07:00 PM ET
Eliot Press/Bauer Griffin

The question of timing is usually an issue when parents contemplate making their firstborn a big brother or sister, and Sophie Ellis-Bextor says that the age gap between sons Sonny, 5, and Kit, 3 ½ months, has been ideal. “[It has] worked out well for us as Sonny is very secure in his world and able to understand a little bit about the demands Kit has,” she explains. “I try to make the effort to spend quality time with Sonny when Kit is asleep.”

“I don’t think Sonny feels he’s lost me to the baby too much. He still seems very happy and cheerful in any case.”

Sophie — who continues to nurse Kit, whom she describes as “a hungry little piglet” — admits that breastfeeding hasn’t always been “the easiest choice,” especially in light of his premature delivery. For the first five weeks of his life, Sophie expressed her milk every three to four hours, something she describes as “emotionally draining.” At the same time, the circumstances steeled her reserve.

“I missed having my baby with me but I was very determined. It felt like the one job I could do that none of the doctors or nurses could so I kept going with it.”

As for Sophie’s recovery, the 30-year-old songstress says she feels “pretty good.” Sleep deprivation is an issue, but exercise has helped combat her fatigue. Sophie shares that she’s not focusing on losing weight, however, for breastfeeding has her feeling hungrier than ever! “I just want to feel fit and healthy,” she explains. “For any new mums I think it’s essential to take it slowly with getting rid of the baby weight. Not least because it’ll stay off if you lose weight with healthy eating and exercise rather than some crash diet.” Sophie has also enjoyed returning to work; She recently shot a video for her new single “Heartbreak.” Although it felt “strange and hard” to be away from her new baby, Sophie says “it felt good to be dressing up and performing again.” She adds,

“It’s absolutely not time for me to hang up my microphone just yet and I hope Sonny and Kit enjoy being along for the ride.”

Sonny and Kit are Sophie’s children with husband Richard Jones.


FILED UNDER: News , Parenting

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joanne on

I have a three and a half year old and am pregnant. They will be four years apart when the baby is born. I had to deal with the same comments Sophie had to deal with. I was asked daily at work when I was having another. Others said that I better hurry and have another soon, the age gap was getting too big. The women at my work were able to have them close because they had their mom’s helping and didn’t have to pay a thousand dollars a month on daycare. Could you imagine paying 2 thousand a month on daycare for two close together? People need to mind their own business. If and when a woman wants another child is their business, no one elses. I am tired of the “two years apart theory.” I loved giving my daughter plenty of one on one time for four years. Women need to keep their opinions to themselves.

Sam & Freya's Mum on

Joanne, ITA. we have a 3 year, 4 mth gap and no regrets, like the bigger gap, Sam was able to have over 3 years just to himself, and less crazy household wise, I personally didn’t want two under two anyhow, not for us, wanted a 3 year gap and we’re glad we did. Means when our youngest hits the ‘2’s her big brother will be at school the 5 days a week, it’s great…I don’t think it’s too big a gap, perhaps after 5 or 6 years or so, just ignore thei comments, everyone’s diff. We at least knew what we wanted/could handle and wanted a biggerf gap for our sanity and not in a hurry after a high risk pregnancy and miscarriage! I personally can’t imagine and wouldn’t want to under 18mths or so, jeez..but some people like it and prefer that but each to their own, just personal pref. Our son’s able to understand and help out and reason with, unlike a two year old sibling – who we’ve found with people who’ve had that gap have had more issues with jealousy as they’re too young to deal with it, no thanks!

alice jane on

I don’t understand how anyone could think of a gap as “too big”. If someone only has a 10 year old and only decides then to have another, so be it. I just don’t know why anyone would have an issue with when other parents decide to have their kids.

michelle on

I agree. Since when did the general public get a vote in my personnal family planning?

I have tons of different ages gaps with my siblings ranging from 10 months to 9 years. It was different when we were smaller, but not that we are all adults, the age gaps have completely dissappeared.

Andrea_momof2 on

I think it’s definitely a personal decision. Nothing is “right” when it comes to age gaps, it’s all about what works for that family. My daughter is 4 while my son is almost 1 and it works out just great for us. I didn’t like the constant questions as soon as my daughter turned 1 year old as if I was supposed to just pop another one out a month later!

fuschia on

No-one ever says…I had teh worst gap I wish I had done it differently (except maybe the Gosslins) beacuse its all you know. If Sophie had a 2 yr gap she would be saying watching her boys play and the amazing bond they had was really special….I think there are pluses and minuses to any way a family arrives and a lot of it comes down to the actual individuals involved.

Anne on

This is something that really bothers me! People really need to watch what they say when it comes to “age gaps”. Has anyone ever stopped to think a particular age gap is not something the parents chose? I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant with our second child, my daughter was 2 at the time and I thought a three year difference would be ideal for our family. Our son was born this March and passed away two days later. I desperately want to have another child, however, the rational side of me knows that its not a good idea right now. We need time to emotionally heal before we take that step. So, comments from strangers/accquaintances when they inquire on my daughters age, and ask “So are you having another soon??” are very hurtful. People should really keep these comments to themselves.

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