Alison Sweeney on Preparing Ben For His Little Sister

Alison Dyer for PEOPLE for use on CBB

Like most parents, Alison Sweeney wasn’t sure how son Benjamin Edward, 4, would react to becoming an older brother, so she and husband Dave Sanov tried their best to prepare him for Megan Hope‘s arrival four months ago. “We really pumped him up leading up to it,” Alison explains. However, the couple did got him ready “the same way we did to him when we took him to the dentist for the first time” and Alison admits that she ended up feeling guilty then. “Dave and I pumped him up for a month beforehand, how cool it was that Mom and Dad got to go the dentist. And then I felt a little guilty ’cause it totally worked. When he was in the waiting room and they called his name, he was like [excitedly], ‘It’s my turn!’ We felt so mean.”

After realizing that they were repeating themselves while preparing Ben for Megan’s birth, Alison and Dave “just sort of built it up, like, ‘You’re the big brother, you’re going to be in charge and get to teach her fun things.’” The couple are also careful not to “force him to love her,” instead “we say things like, ‘She loves you so much. She’s so proud to have you as a big brother’” and the actress is happy to share that “he’s been so responsive.”

“He kisses her all the time and makes faces to make her laugh. One of my favorite things about Ben’s personality is that he’s an entertainer, not in a public, showy way; he just wants to make people laugh.”

There is no way to know if Megan will have her brother’s personality, but one thing is for sure — the look alike! “She looks a lot like Ben … but in a feminine way,” notes Alison. “I’m sure I’m totally biased, but I see that they resemble each other tremendously.” The Biggest Loser host is happy with her life and and shares that it “surprises people” when they learn and she and Dave will celebrate their ninth wedding anniversary in July. “We definitely got married young and had kids young and it’s what was right for us,” says Alison. “We love driving in our family car with our kids in the backseat. We’ll look at each other and say, ‘Look, our family is in the car.’ It’s such a satisfying, happy, fulfilling feeling.”

Source: Soap Opera Digest, May 12th issue

– Angela

Comments

D on May 14th, 2009

I hope this doesn’t sound mean, it really isn’t meant to be…Allison keeps going on and on about getting her 4 year old adjusted to being a big brother. Is it really a difficult concept for a 4 year old to accept? My cousin’s 4 year old adjusted so well but I know that each kid reacts differently.

My two year old is not understanding the concept at all that he is going to be a big brother. We keep telling him that a baby will be here next month but he just looks at me and I get the “yeah right” look from him. When we hold other people’s babies he flips out and starts screaming “my mom my mommy”. Yikes. Next month will not be fun in our house!

Laura on May 14th, 2009

I’ve heard (though have no idea) that it can be a very hard adjustment. One day you are the only child and the only one mom and dad give their attention to and then the next you have a screaming baby who seems to be keeping mom and dad’s attention more. You have to learn that while you are important not all of the attention is going to be on you anymore. Plus you have to get used to this whole new person that has just entered your life who may not be that pleasant right away. It’s unfortunate babies can’t be playmates the day they arrive, haha. That would probably help some children!

Having a second baby is a huge adjustment for the parents as well so I’m sure it’s just as big of a deal for the big brother/sister.

Anyway I think Allison seems very great and I like her approach to adjusting Ben to his little sister.

MZ on May 14th, 2009

D, I think it can be depending on the kid. A 4 year old can still be jealous, maybe even more so than a 2 year old.

The question I was going to raise is about her constantly saying they told Ben that he was in charge. I keep reading in my child development books that this is a bad idea and parents should never let the sibling think he is charge of the baby b/c they, the parents, are in charge. Letting the child think he is in charge could lead to fights or an “overly helpful” child, where they might accidentally hurt the baby. Like, a 4 yr old who thinks he’s in charge might decide to he needs to punish the baby for crying, or decde he must make the baby stop crying by carrying him and in the process drop the baby.

I’m curious: what have other people done? Have you told the older sibling s/he is in charge? Are the concerns I’ve been reading valid ones? I am not trying to insult Alison’s parenting at all, just ask a real question.

Lis on May 14th, 2009

Her last few sentences are very sweet. That is totally my outlook…we got married young (I was 23 and he was 26) and even though my husband and I aren’t parents yet, those are the little moments that I look most forward to

I like Alison. She seems to have a very sweet and simple personality.

Ailyss on May 14th, 2009

I don’t know about preparing a child to become a big brother or sister, I don’t see any reason why Allison and Dave should feel ashamed about pumped Ben up for the dentist’s. I think many people hate going to the dentist not just because of personal experience, but because their parents, maybe unconsciously, taught them it was something negative. I’m not saying going to the dentist’s is fun, just that I find it wrong to teach a child to be afraid of a doctor when they may never have a reason to.

getmotivatedwithgwin on May 14th, 2009

It is always refreshing to read about or hear of celebrities that are taking family life seriously. It is a blessing to be married, happy and enjoying your life while raising a family. At one point in my life I was a single parent and as I speak around the country I do not hesitate to express to anyone that being a single parent was the toughest job I have ever had in my life. Juggling when to be mom and when to be dad!

So congrats to you (and all new parents) and I hope you and your husband continue to enjoy each other, your children (Little Blessings) and life for many more years to come. Nothing is more important than family.

Gwin Minter

megan on May 14th, 2009

“We definitely got married young and had kids young”

Not to nitpick, but she got married at 24 and had her kids at 29 and 33. That’s about average age, hardly super young for either event lol

Jane on May 14th, 2009

“Not to nitpick, but she got married at 24 and had her kids at 29 and 33. That’s about average age, hardly super young for either event lol”

She was actually 23, 28, and 32 (not that a year difference matters). That is an average age in the Midwest, but not so much in bigger cities on the coast, or in Hollywood. In Hollywood there seems to be a lot more people having kids in their late 30s and early 40s than in the their 20s.

Jess from Ohio on July 30th, 2009

I don’t mean to nitpick either but while I would consider her marriage age young(er than average), but kids at 29 and 33 doesn’t sound very “young” to me. It sounds average or a bit older than I usually see. But in her defense, maybe the people around her marry older or have kids older. My opinion may be skewwed because the area I live in has lower marriage ages and childbearing ages, so I don’t want to judge too closely.

I love Alison, especially on the Biggest Loser, and have watched her on Days since I was a kid. It’s good to see her as such a happy wife and mother

pixie on July 30th, 2009

I don’t know I had my son when I was 23 and I don’t think anyone ever considered me a young mom.