Sandra Bullock: You Don't Have to Give Birth To Have a Family

Harper’s Bazaar

When she became a stepmother of three through marriage, the saying that families come in all shapes and sizes suddenly became a perfect description of Sandra Bullock‘s life. Now a part of the lives of Chandler, 14, Jesse Jr., 11, and Sunny, 5, the actress is not spending her time dwelling on the past, but rather focusing on the present. Unfortunately, her instant family has not come without its fair share of criticism. “It’s hard to do it your way when you hear everyone else telling you to do it their way,” Sandra tells the June issue of Harper’s Bazaar.

“You don’t have to give birth to someone to have a family. We’re all family, an extended family.”

The societal pressure has been a constant in Sandra’s life since marrying Jesse James in 2005. Recalling a premiere she attended shortly after tying the knot, Sandra found herself exploding at ”this idiot girl” who wanted nothing else but to hear her pregnancy plans. “I had just been talking to a friend who couldn’t conceive, and I saw her pain,” she remembers. When she was interviewed by the tabloid reporter shortly after, Sandra simply lost her cool. “I went off on her. What if I couldn’t have kids? Do you know what that would make me feel like?” she says.

Despite the insensitivity, Sandra is determined to not conform to what is considered the norm: marriage followed by a baby carriage. “I just want people to admit that there’s no one way to live your life,” she explains. That said, the 44-year-old admits even she is unaware of what the future holds!

“Of course, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I could go home today and go, ‘I haven’t started my period.’”

Chandler and Jesse Jr. are Jesse’s children with his ex-wife Karla; Sunny is his daughter with ex-wife Janine Lindemulder.

Source: Harper’s Bazaar

– Anya

Comments

The norm? Marriage and then the carriage thing went out the window ages ago. Now a days it’s more carriage then perhaps marriage (if we feel up to it) LOL

good for her though and no celeb should have to answer personal questions like, “when are you going to start a family?” It’s nobody’s business.

- JMO on May 13th, 2009

I love her sincerity and honesty. She seems very at peace with her life and her family.

- Lissette on May 13th, 2009

Good on her. I completely agree that it’s no one’s business when or if someone will decide to have a biological child with their spouse or even if they can. Family is family no matter how you slice it. Granted, there are some horrific ones out there. I was lucky to get the world’s best dad when mom remarried

- Harley on May 13th, 2009

I love the way she talks about her stepkids, I remember an interview where she called them her bonus kids. They must love having her as a stepmom!

- alice jane on May 13th, 2009

Yay for her! She’s one of the very few people in Hollywood who I actually believe are somewhat normal.

- kai on May 13th, 2009

So true… You definitely do not have to give birth to be a family.

- jen on May 13th, 2009

In my opinion saying “you do not have to birth in order to have a family”, minimizes the whole process of pregnancy/child birth and diminishes the role of the biological mother. In the case of an adoption, obviously child birth is not everything but Sandra has not adopted her step-children because the biological mother is still in the picture in fact I believe Jesse’s ex-wife lives across the street. Gisele Bundchen made a similar comment and it caused an uproar.

For some reason I feel that there is a trend among step-mothers who do not want to be the step-mother but the mother when the mother is present her children’s lives. I do not respect people who do that.

- Di on May 13th, 2009

^^and what would be the perfect thing to say then? good lord.

- kai on May 13th, 2009

I love Sandra, but I disagree with her alittle bit about the family thing. Nothing in the world compares to having your “own” children. I hope she does have her own kids one day, she would make a fantastic mother!

- Sofie on May 13th, 2009

Gosh. I totally disagree, Di. She’s just saying she loves those kids as if they’re her own. What’s wrong with that? She’s not trying to replace their real mom. My stepmother treated me the same way and she never had that intention. I’m thankful she did because it showed that she cared about me alot. We were and still are a happy family, INCLUDING my mom.

- Leyla on May 13th, 2009

Sofie, What about people who can’t have biological children? That’s a very hurtful statement to those who can’t. I believe that you can love a stepchild or an adopted child just as much
IMO.

- Leyla on May 13th, 2009

“Gisele Bundchen made a similar comment and it caused an uproar.” – I’d have to disagree. If I recall Gisele said something about just because she didn’t birth John doesn’t mean she is not his mother. (I don’t remember exactly what was said). Sandra just seems to be saying just because I did not birth them doesn’t mean they are not part of my family. “we’re all a family, an extended family.”

I tend to like her because she does come across as more “normal” than a lot of famous people.

- kris on May 13th, 2009

I’m so glad that my husband doesn’t share the views of Sofie and Di. You would never know that he is not my DD’s bio dad because he treats her no different. I can’t have anymore children. But he doesn’t feel that his role as father is any less diminished because he didn’t provide the sperm for “our daughter”.

- Ronnie on May 13th, 2009

It would be nice if we could get through one post without people diminishing the thread with their lovley negative thoughts!

I have to say I’m disappointed. There are LOTS AND LOTS of people who CANNOT have their own children and it does not mean that they wouldn’t love to but it just wasn’t in the cards for them. Of course there is nothin like your own child but many people can get over that whole theory and love another child like their own. I am a nanny and the little girl I helped raised is obviously not mine. She has two terrific parents who adore her but I would take a bullet for that child if I had to becaue I love her like she’s my own. Never would I try to take away from the fact that I’m not her mother but her mother is so grateful to know that when she can’t be there for her that I (her second mommy) can be! I know where my role starts and I know wher it ends and for the most part many step-parents know that as well.

Sandra loves all of Jesse’s kids as if they were her own. If she came out and said, “you know I love them kids but it would be nice to have our own” people would be ripping her to shreds for her comments!

As far as Gisele’s comments go I do think she took it to a different level and can’t even be compared to Sandra’s comments. But I still understand what Gisele was trying to say. That no matter where a child comes from there is no amount of love that one can have for them despite who birthed them. Some of you really need to recheck your statements before making them!

- JMO on May 13th, 2009

Di, I also have to disagree. I don’t think either Sandra or Gisele are trying replace the kids’ mothers. In Gisele’s interview, she expressly said that she respects Bridget’s role as the mother. And, in Sandra’s last interview, she said that part of her job is to be a “good new wife to the ex-wives.” They both referred to themselves as the “step-mother” as opposed to the “mother.” From what Sandra has said, it sounds like everyone gets along pretty well.

Loving your step-kids is not the same as trying to steal their mother’s role. They are part of the same family and the love between them shouldn’t have to be less just because they aren’t biologically related. A biological mother is not the only member of the family whose feelings matter. It’s about the kids and what is best for them. And quite frankly, I would want the people around my kids to love them just as much as I do because, kids are happier if they feel loved and secure in both homes.

And Sofie, I think you missed the point of Sandra’s whole interview. She does not need to have her “own” kids to feel complete because she already HAS a family. And, her family is no less than anyone else’s just because they do not have the same DNA. Who are you to tell her that what she has doesn’t compare to what you have?

- Sarah K. on May 13th, 2009

Ronnie, you sort of raise a good point. If a male celebrity said the same things about being a stepfather, everyone around here would be quick to praise him. Sad.

- kai on May 13th, 2009

Sorry, one more thing to add to my little rant. Where is all of the outrage about stealing kids and diminishing the bio-parent’s role when we talk about step-dads? Paul Bettany refers to step-son Kai as “his son.” Kate Winslet and Kate Beckinsale refer to their new husbands as their daughters’ dads (never step-dad). These children (not sure about Kai) all have bio dads who are very present in their lives. And, women on this site ooo and aah over over wonderful how sweet it is that a man loves his step-child as his own. Yet whenever a step-mom says comes anywhere close to making a statement like that, she’s labeled a baby-stealer. Are fathers just more disposable/replaceable than mothers? Double standard? I think so.

- Sarah K. on May 13th, 2009

“Nothing in the world compares to having your “own” children.”

Sofie: So I assume by your statement that you must have raised both a child who is not biologically related to you as well as one who is in order to be able to say for sure that it doesn’t compare. And then when you were done with that did you go out and interview everyone else in the world who has experienced both to find out for sure that it doesn’t feel the same.

Believe it or not Sofie, it’s possible to give birth to a child and also adopt/foster/step-parent one and feel exactly the same about both children.

- Jane on May 13th, 2009

I just have to shake my head at comments like Sofie and Di’s. There’s no explanation.

- Natasha on May 13th, 2009

Some of you are giving me a headache. Have you ever thought about those women who CAN’T have babies on her own? Or those who by other circumstances don’t have kids of their own, biologically? Does that mean that they will NEVER consider anyone part of their family just because they didn’t have the priviledge to be pregnant and give birth to a child? If that’s so i feel sorry for you.

This is in no way to minimize biological mothers or fathers. It’s not the same, but it’s not that different either. Motherhood is not just pregnancy. That’s just the beginning. If you don’t go through it, you’re missing an unforgettable part, but it does NOT mean you’re not a mother or a father, since the toughest part of parenthood comes later.

I agree with Sandra 100%

- Bugs on May 13th, 2009

“Gisele Bundchen made a similar comment and it caused an uproar.”

Only amongst people like you who would rather keep steparents “in their place” instead of allowing them to be one more positive role model in their stepchildrens’ lives to love and care for them. Of course, after all the conspiracy theories you posted regarding Gisele telling John to call her Mommy and trying to “steal” him from Bridget, your opinions are less than credible anyway.

Kai hit the nail on the head. If it were a stepfather talking about his love for his stepchildren, you women would be drooling over him. A woman does the same thing, and she’s practically labeled a witch for daring to love and adore her stepchildren. Pathetic.

And FWIW, Di, Sunny did live with Jesse and Sandra for some time due to issues with her biological mother. I guess using your logic, Sandra should have just stepped back and let Sunny go without a mother figure during that time?

- Lauren on May 13th, 2009

I really like Sandra and agree that the criticism she receives is ridiculous! I think it’s great that she loves her stepchildren as her own, regardless if she has her own kids or not.

No one should be able to define happiness for you, because it means something different for all of us

- Amelia on May 13th, 2009

I swear, I think DI hates step-mothers. In every single post regarding step-mothers; Di chimes in and says the samething over, and over, and over, and over agian.

I don’t know! But my step-mom of 28 years has treated me like her own child. My mother loved the way I was treated by my step-mom. Oh, so did I! My step-mon is even called grandma by my 14-year old son.

- lala2 on May 13th, 2009

Is it just me or does it seem like Sandra is having problems conceiving. She said “who knows maybe i’ll go home and miss my period” which seems to me like she is either actively trying or not trying not to prevent it. Either way, she’s happy with the family she has and to HER its a real family why you feel the need to judge it is strange. Even if she is lessening it some of YOU are trying to lessen her feelings. So i guess you’re even!

- ann on May 13th, 2009

I really wish people on this board would simply ignore the comments that they do not like instead of making personal attacks against people like me and Sofie. This statement is directed against people like Lauren who rather insult another than address the issue at hand. It definitely shows a lack of maturity on your part. There is nothing wrong with expressing a contrary opinion, that is what this website is about.

Yes, I do know about Sunny’s mother’s legal problems but her short involuntary absence from Sunny’s life does not mean that Sandra should take advantage of the situation and start playing “mommy” to someone else’s child. I’m all for loving your step-children but I am against step-parents trying to take the place of the biological parent if the bio parent is an active and present force in the children’s lives.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I do not have a double standard when it comes to this issue. If Keith Urban told the media a la Katie Holmes that Connor and Bella call him “dad” I would have a problem with that because the bottom line is that he is not their father and his taking the title of “dad” in my opinion shows a lack of respect for the children’s father.

The step-parent is simply someone who happens to be married to the biological parent. Period. Sandra is Jesse’s THIRD wife so who knows how long she will be around meanwhile God willing, Jesse’s three children will always have their mothers, no divorce decree can affect their relationship.

- Di on May 13th, 2009

I would call any kid who has step parents that love them as much as Sandra obviously does, very lucky children. Love is a magical thing- you can’t have too much of it.

- lis on May 13th, 2009

So agree with “You don’t have to give birth to someone to have a family. We’re all family, an extended family.”

I thought Jesse on the Celebrity Apprentice was so funny. I kept thinking, that’s Sandra Bullock’s husband. He’s this stereotype biker dude, multi-tattoos, swears a lot, etc. Hehe.

- eternalcanadian on May 14th, 2009

Its none of my business on why Sandra chose not to have bio kids. Its her life.
Anyways I thought Sunny lives with them full time since her mom is in jail.

- Alex on May 14th, 2009

Jane- ITA! And also, Sofia, children you adopt ARE your own!

- CelebBabyLover on May 14th, 2009

“I could go home today and go, I haven’t started my period”

At 44 that is called PERI-MENOPAUSE, NOT pregnancy. When will women realize that a natural conception at that age is extremely rare. Most of these celebs having babies in their mid to late forties us DONOR EGGS!!!! Our fertility HAS a ticking clock, ladies. Ask any fertility specialist (or woman who has tried the “natural way” at that age)

- Lucky on May 14th, 2009

Is the new wife of a child’s father automatically their “stepmother” or does she become the stepmother only if the child lives with her and the dad permanently for a while?
I mean, if the dad and his wife see the kids like, every other weekend, surely the “stepmother’s” role can’t be compared to the biolocical mom’s, or the adoptive mom’s or loving stepmom’s role who is around the children all the time?

Surely there must be a difference. Even if the “weekend-stepmother” really likes her hubby’s kids, she shouldn’t call herself their mom… and before people start lashing out on me now, I’m not saying that’s the case with Sandra Bullock, just speaking in general as I know some women who act in such a way and it just doesn’t seem right!
Like that woman who was married to my friend’s ex and father of her daughter, who showed off my friend’s girl to everyone saying she was her own… 2 years later they were divorced and the kid’s dad has had several girlfriends since, all of which aren’t in the picture anymore. Are all of the dad’s exes now my goddaughter’s “stepmommies”? Are they all supposed to be a “patchwork family”? Some of them don’t even know each other? How ridiculos…

- Lacey on May 14th, 2009

Wow, you guy’s take an innocent statement and turn it into the world’s worst thing to say, never fails! Talk to any mother and she will tell you that it is the best thing in the world: “having your “own” children”. I have both a step-mother and a bio-mother, there is definatley a differance!

- Sofie on May 14th, 2009

CelebBabyLover:

Sandra has not adopted any children (as far as I know). Therefore she does not have her “own” children. I never wrote anything about that they had to be biological.

- Sofie on May 14th, 2009

“does not mean that Sandra should take advantage of the situation and start playing “mommy” to someone else’s child.”

How did you get from “we’re a family” to “I’m their new mommy?” Those two statements have nothing to do with each other. Where did Sandra ever even slightly suggest in any interview that she was “playing mommy?” All she said was that they “are a family.” And, she doesn’t need to be the mom to be a member of the family.

To come to Lauren’s defense, statements like “she’s trying to steal the baby” and “she’s telling him to call her mommy” do come off as conspiracy theories because at the end of the day we do not know these people. We cannot possibly know them from little snippets in interviews and monthly pictures. So, when you accuse someone you don’t know of something like this, it sounds conspiracy-ish. It is hard for people to put a lot of value into statements that are not backed up by facts. If you could present one irrefutable fact that suggests that Sandra is doing what you’re accusing her of- by all means accuse away.

- Sarah K. on May 14th, 2009

Sofie of course there is a difference! I think where most people get upset is the constant statement like, “there is nothing better then having your OWN children”. I am just curious on how one feels about an adoptive child? They simply aren’t biologically yours but do you feel any different simply because they belong to you and not another involved parent ?? What about those who have open adoptions with their children’s biological parents? They may not fully be a 24/7 involvement but surely they still see the child from time to time. Does this make the adoptive parents feel like this child is their “own” or simply a child they are “borrowing” because they couldn’t have one?!

It all confuses me. I am sure many would love to experience pregnancy and have thier “own” child but it’s not always the case but I think even a step-parent can be quite involved with out over stepping their boundaries. I bet if you talk to Jada Pinkett Smith and her “step” son’s mother they’d be able to give everyone a lesson in love and how it shouldn’t matter who is really the mother but more about what it is to love a child!!

- JMO on May 14th, 2009

You guy’s do really draw a lot out of one sentence. Did I define what “own children” meant? No, I did not. Your “own” can be biological or adopted, does not really matter…

- Sofie on May 14th, 2009

I don’t know that I could have said it any better than Sarah K and Lauren.

Nowhere in Sandra’s interview did she say anything about taking the place of their mother’s. I’m so glad to see how easily twisted people can make one very simplistic statement that, in my opinion, leaves little to be mistaken. But, to my surprise, some of you are just bitter harpies. I take it you must have had a wicked step-parent or you don’t like your children’s step-parents. I guess you’d rather the children hate their step’s than love them and that is just twisted and cold hearted.

I love my dad (step-dad) more than anything in the world and there is NO doubt that he loves me just as much as he loves his bio-children. He is 100x’s more a dad to me than my father ever was. He had no intention of taking my father’s place when he married my mom because he’s a respectful man. I was a young teen when my dad came into the picture and it was MY choice to call him dad. He would have been fine with Dustin. Kids should be allowed to call their step-parents whatever the heck they want (well, you know what I mean).

I’ve also been in a situation where the ex’s get along. There is nothing they and their spoused wouldn’t do for their children. No one is trying to take anyone’s place. It’s an extended family. I for one am glad people have the ability to be that close. Gosh, I’m surprised you guys don’t rip Demi Moore and Bruce Willis to shreds.

Ridiculous.

- Harley on May 14th, 2009

I have to agree with Sofie that there is difference between having your own children whether they be biological or adopted and step children.

For example, when Halle Berry married Eric Benet he had a daughter. I heard Halle say that she did not really consider herself to be India’s “step-mother” but rather her “mother” because India’s bio mother had died in a car accident. We all know that Eric and Halle divorced and I do not believe that Halle has maintained any real relationship with India post divorce. I did read something about how they shared emails but that was about it. As the step-mother, Halle could have asked for visitation post-divorce but I do not think she did. At the end of day, I believe that Halle realized that India was always Eric’s daughter and never really her daughter. Halle now has little Nahla, her very own child. I have no doubt that Halle would say that her relationship with Nahla is totally different from her relationship with India. One is her child and the other was her husband’s child.

Britney Spears is another good example. When Britney met Kevin he had two children. I’m sure she loved them and welcomed them into heart. She was often photographed with Kori. Brit and Kevin broke up in 2006 and I do not believe that she has even seen those two children since then because her focus is obviously on her own children. She loved those kids because they were husband’s children and now that Kevin is no longer apart her life, his kids are not either. They were not even present for the boys’ birthday party Britney threw last year.

Lastly, when I’m on this websiste, I often speculate or wonder aloud about the parties based on facts that are known. None of us knows what is really going so we all are just speculating. I have no idea if Sandara is taking advantage of the fact that Sunny’s mom is in prison, I would hope she would not but some women would.

For the record, Sunny’s mother was convicted of tax evasion a non violent offense and she was sentenced to 6 months in prison. She surrendered in March so she will be out in September. Sunny’s mother’s claims that she was trying to give her daughter the kind of lifestyle that Jessie and Sandra had but she went about it the wrong way. Once the mother is out of prison, I have no doubt she will fight to regain custody after all, the only reason she lost custody is because she was in prison. She was never declared an unfit mother.

- Di on May 14th, 2009

She “went off” on some girl simply because she asked her about her pregnancy plans? Why is that a cardinal sin? I don’t blame her for being frustrated about criticisms of her instant family. And I’m sorry to hear about her friend who couldn’t conceive. That’s very sad indeed. However, it doesn’t make it okay for her to berate some poor girl who means no harm for asking if she’ll have a child of her own in the future. She’s an “idiot” because of that? C’mon! Sandra Bullock overreacted, IMO. People just can’t help being curious sometimes. Just a simple “none of your business” reply to the girl would’ve sufficed. Why explode in anger? To Bullock’s credit, she DOES make some very good points that I agree with wholeheartedly, but she doesn’t really come off in a very positive light in this article, to be honest. She seems VERY defensive and bitchy. JMO….

- Niko on May 14th, 2009

I agree with Lucky, at 44 years old it will be very difficult for Sandra to get pregnant without some kind of fertility help or donor eggs. these celebrities put in the heads of woman that it is easy to get pregnant past 40 but in realtity it is not unless you have money to do fertility treatments. plus risks of abnormatlites go up past 35 years old. when you have a baby at 35+ you are considered a high risk pregnancy.

- Laura on May 14th, 2009

Di,

while I do agree with some of your points, I think Britney doesn’t make such a good example in that case after all, Kori and Kaleb are her own two son’s brother and sister, a fact that will always remain no matter how much contact they have with Britney herself at the present time.

As her son’s biological siblings, they will always play a role in Britney’s life, too. And since Kevin Federline cares about all four of his kids, a fact he has often proven, all four of his kids will most definitely grow up knowing each other quite well.

- Lacey on May 14th, 2009

“The step-parent is simply someone who happens to be married to the biological parent.”

Di, I happen to know both friends and family who would disagree totally with that. You seem to have a real issue with step-parents. Can you not just accept that in some families step-parents fit in well and children can accept that step-parent as both a member of the family and a parent?

- Daisy on May 14th, 2009

So much insensitivity and ignorance on this board at times.

Unless you’ve walked in the shoes of a woman who cannot have children, or has a family by other means (step families, adoption…) you simply can’t imagine the emotional investment. Generalized and un-educated remarks like this only work to undermine. Must be nice to be a guy at times.

- felicity on May 14th, 2009

Sorry that you have such a problem with people stating their opinion, felicity. A real shame that people can’t always agree on everything but isn’t that what message boards are for?

- darcy on May 14th, 2009

“Sorry that you have such a problem with people stating their opinion, felicity.”

Darcy, maybe if those “differing opinions” were grounded in a fact, any fact, people wouldn’t be so offended by them. Accusing Sandra of trying to replace a child’s mother is a pretty extreme and insensitive remark to make. But, it was backed up by facts- go for it. If people are just making baseless comments, then they should expect to be called out on it.

- Sarah K. on May 14th, 2009

So many people on this webiste are making the assumption that Sandra is a wonderful step-mother who would never do anything to undermine the relationship her step children have with their mothers nor would she ever attempt to replace the mothers. How does anyone know that? How does anyone know if their assesment of Sandra is true? I really can’t stand the personal attacks from people who are no more knowledgeable about the issue than I am and yet they presume that they are so right and I and others are wrong.

In an earlier post I raised the question of whether Sandra was trying to be the mother and was attacked. Sometimes people see what they want to see. On its face, Sandra’s quote seems harmless but I believe that underlying her quote is a belief that her tie to Jesse’s children (marriage) is just as strong as the tie those children have to their real mothers (birth) which in my opinion is false.

Sandra is Jesse’s third wife and maybe not his last. In the event of a divorce, Jesse’s children will likely have no relationship with Sandra. Step parents come and go but you only have one real mother and father. I do not have a problem with step-mothers in general but I do have a problem with step mothers who over step their bounds. I do not the see point of elevating a step parent to the same level as the bio parent when their position in the children’s live is contingent upon staying married to the bio parent and in the age we live, the probability of divorce is high.

- Di on May 14th, 2009

I don’t think there is anything wrong with what either Sandra or Gisele said.

I think the mothers that criticize step moms are insecure. We live in a society that has a lot of emotionally distraught individuals; however, for a step mom to show a lot of love to a child really puts my mind at ease. Women need to support one another and not bring ourselves down because another woman loves their child.

If a biomom finds herself concerned because another woman loves her children and treats them like her own, it’s HER that has the problem.

I also find it amazing that people suggest stepparrents have crossed boundaries when a lot of the times the biological mother or father isn’t there for their children. Isn’t Sunny’s mother in jail for tax evasion? Doesn’t sound like her actions were in the best interest of her daughter.

It shocks me that some people think that just because a person didn’t give birth that they should treat the children differently–that struck a nerve with me.

- Naomi on May 14th, 2009

I’m glad Sandra has a great family. It is very difficult to be the stepmom (we can see what stepmoms face every day in this very thread!) I have two wonderful stepmoms– one who was married to my father for a short time when I was a teen and who made sacrifices for me that I will be forever grateful for– and one who has been my stepmom for 14 years now and loves me as a daughter. It is very difficult to be a child who is motherless by the mother’s choice and I am grateful for their love and acceptance. I also am a stepmom to a young man that I raised from the age of four. If there was anything destructive to our relationship, it was me worrying about overstepping my “bounds.” Children need all the love and support they can get.

- Jenne on May 15th, 2009

THIS is exactly the appropriate thing for a step parent to say. Gisele was way out of line with her comments a while back (they were offensive even and extremely pointed), but Sandra has handled things brilliantly.

- Alex on May 15th, 2009

Naomi,

That’s what Gisele said:

“It’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child. I love him the same way as if he were mine. I already feel like he’s my son, from the first day.”
She further said that John was “100 per cent her child”.

Sorry but such a remark is way out of order and completely inappropriate a thing for a stepmom to say. Gisele may love John and wish he was hers, and she may love her hubby, and may want to be a happy family of three (remember that Tom Brady left his pregnant girlfriend Bridget Moynahan for Gisele in December 2006) – but she isn’t, nor will she ever be, the child’s mother, no matter how much she might like to replace Bridget. She sees John maybe twice a month, the rest of the time John lives with his mommy, who must have been deeply hurt and irritated by Gisele’s unthoughtful words. If you believe a mother who doesn’t agree with a stepmom uttering such things, is “insecure” and “is the one with a problem” I take it you are not a mother yourself.

Sandra on the other hand described the relationship she has with her stepkids in a very different and much more mature way. She didn’t try taking away from the kid’s mothers or elevating herself into their position. Sandra seems like a smart woman who understands that it’s not a competition. She doesn’t want to replace her husband’s childrens mommies but rather be a person who is also there for the kids. An additional positive presence in their lives.

- Vivian on May 15th, 2009

I love Sandra and think she is a terrific stepmom.
And Vivian, I agree with what you wrote about Gisele

- jenni on May 15th, 2009

“after all, the only reason she lost custody is because she was in prison. She was never declared an unfit mother.”

Sorry, but this made me laugh!

- plS on May 15th, 2009

“On its face, Sandra’s quote seems harmless but I believe that underlying her quote is a belief that her tie to Jesse’s children (marriage) is just as strong as the tie those children have to their real mothers (birth) which in my opinion is false.”

I am sorry you choose to believe negative things about someone based not on facts but on your own fantasies/imaginings.

- plS on May 15th, 2009

“I really wish people on this board would simply ignore the comments that they do not like instead of making personal attacks against people like me and Sofie. This statement is directed against people like Lauren who rather insult another than address the issue at hand. It definitely shows a lack of maturity on your part.”

And I really wish people on this board would simply grow up and take responsibility for what they say, thus actually addressing the issue at hand, instead of acting all put upon when called out on ridiculous comments that stem from zero first-hand knowledge and gross exaggeration. It definitely shows a lack of maturity on your part, not to mention insecurity. If you feel so threatened by a step parent showing love and affection above and beyond the call of duty to their step child, that’s your personal issue. But of course, it’s just so much easier to pin the blame for your problem on someone else, isn’t it?

- Lauren on May 15th, 2009

vivian- I believe Giselle also said in that interview that she and Tom share custody of John 50/50 with Bridget when both they and Bridget are in LA. Therefore, she probably sees John more than twice a month except for when she and Tom are not in LA or Bridget takes John with her when she’s filming a movie.

Also, Tom may have left Bridget for Giselle, but, as other posters have said on other threads, neither Tom nor Bridget knew that Bridget was pregnant at the time. It wasn’t until AFTER Tom started dating Giselle that Bridgett discoverd she was pregnant.

- CelebBabyLover on May 15th, 2009

I have no problem with what Giselle or Sandra said.

Di stop twisting people’s words into something negeative! I’ve seen you do that on many posts before. You turn Sandra saying she loves her family, into she’s stealing her step-kids away from their mommy’s.

Vivian stop spreading rumors & lies. Tom didn’t leave pregnant Bridget for his wife. You also dodn’t know how often Gisele & John see his son. Since he’s been injured the 3 of them have been seen together quite often.

- Q on May 17th, 2009

She didn’t say you don’t have to give birth to be a mom. She said family. She didn’t once mention being a mom to her skids. The quote, “It’s hard to do it your way when you hear everyone else telling you to do it their way,” is probably talking about the bio-mom. I’m a mom and a stepmom. Being a stepmom is a job where you are expected to do everything the mom does and get no credit or thanks. Any screaming bio-mom can just keep them.

- Linda on May 26th, 2009