Sound Off! How Did You Manage Your Child's Terrible Twos?

Carlos Vila/Gardiner Anderson/Bauer-Griffin; Lawrence Schwartzwald/Splash News Online

The “terrible twos.” Almost every child hits them, and for every parent, they’re a stressful time. Sheryl Crow recently shared that her philosophy with son Wyatt Steven, 2, is to not “sweat the small stuff,” while Donald and Vanessa Trump are tackling 2-year-old daughter Kai Madison‘s difficult period one day at a time. Other celebrity babies dealing with the terrible twos? Kingston James McGregor Rossdale — whose dad calls him “Sid Vicious” — Liam Aaron McDermott, Eden & Savannah Mahoney and more.

So here’s your chance to Sound Off! Tell us: How did you survive the terrible twos? Share your tips with handling temper tantrums and testing of independence!

Comments

The twos for my kids were great. My kids were never big into tantrums, etc.-they never worked. My daughter tried once at home. She threw herself on the floor in one room. I left the room. She came into the next room and tried the same thing and I left. Once more and she gave up after that.

I found age three much more challenging. They seemed to be a little sneakier and much more verbal. They learned exactly how push mom’s buttons.

- Lorelei on May 12th, 2009

The twos weren’t too terrible for either of my daughters, it was the three’s that seemed more challenging for me lol.
A.J.

- *AJ* on May 12th, 2009

I agree with lorelei, my son was an angel as a two year old. It is three that is a bit challenging we have a seven month old as well so he knows if I am distracted with the baby he can sneak off and get into things.

- Ashley on May 12th, 2009

As a 2 year old teacher, I must say that I don’t believe in the terrible twos-however, the threes are horrifying My year ALWAYS gets worse the closer my class gets to three years old. At 2, they are still very sweet, and can communicate a little, but not as aggresively as a three year old. My sweet kiddos are great! They may throw a tantrum every once in awhile, but I gotta say, if some boy came up and took my doll away, I’d be mad too

- N on May 12th, 2009

Neither of mine had terrible twos. My son was a dream but about the time he turned 6 it got bad…just with the talking back and having an attitude. I would have much rather had some terrible twos. My daughter is still two almost three and she’s just destructive…tearing up books, dumping out drinks, and wrecking the whole house in 2 minutes.

- Caryn on May 12th, 2009

Three is the new two! I agree with everyone else above. It seems to be literally the day after their third birthday the tantrums begin…

- UggaMugga.com on May 12th, 2009

The 2′s were amazing with our twin ladies, they are now 3 1/2 (and 3days, haha) and I have to say I adore the 3′s as well. Though a bit more trying with the”why”‘s and the ability to give atitude:) I have to say I think the teen years is the era I will refer to as terrible. We’ll hope not but be prepared:) I am also kinda worried about little man, his 2 maybe closer to terrible, but in a wild way. We’ll worry about that when it gets here…we still have 13 months til then to treasure!!!

- Jessica on May 12th, 2009

All four of my kids were completely different. My oldest (13) has ADHD so his terrible twos was a lot more “terrible” LOL. he was very energetic and never really cried. my oldest daughter (12) was really quiet. she was always attached to me,so I never really got to experience the “terrible twos” with her. my 4 1/2 year old was a typical toddler girl, getting into things,busy as a bee,tantrums here and there. but she was ok. my last son he just turned 3 on April 24, was a handful. i always joked that the last one is making me work hard in my old age! lol! he’s calmed down a little. now it’s the constant high pitched, screeching screams that get to me. and yeah,the tantrums too. his favorite question is “why”? and it goes on and on no matter what answer you give!

- dawn on May 12th, 2009

My son is 2 1/2…. Let me just say he lets everyone know it!!! We correct it right away. But that still doesn’t stop him from throwing him self down and roll around every chance he gets… I wish there was a smiley face pulling its hair out.. Because thats how I feel!

- Ashleigh on May 12th, 2009

My daughter never had the “terrible twos”, but she is currently in her”testing the limit threes”. She is a good kid though, although somtimes I think she is more 12 than 3.

- Shan on May 12th, 2009

I am experiencing the terrible twos right now with my daughter, we’ve been going throuhg it since she was a year and a half. I really was looking forward to her turning three but now I keep hearing it’s worst than two, how depressing. Oh well, I know that she will grow out of it and hopefully sooner than later, I just have to keep correcting her.

- C*M* on May 12th, 2009

LOL Ashleigh, I totally agree, a smiley face pulling its hair out would pretty much sum up the average day with my 2 1/2 years old.

- rose on May 12th, 2009

I was very lucky, my 7 year old was a very good child. She did go through the terrible twos for a few years, but it wasn’t bad at all. I’ve got a 15 month old now, she might go so easy on me!!

- Shelly on May 12th, 2009

The twos were not terrible for us either. It’s the threes, like so many others seem to agree, that are/were the real ‘button-pushing’ time in our house. We were deep in the throes of it for a while there but now that she’s about to turn 4 next month, it has been letting up some. Thankfully.

My littlest is 2 years and 3 months and, so far (knock on wood), has not shown any sign of the terrible twos. My guess is that, like her big sister, the coming threes will kick our butts instead

- dee on May 12th, 2009

Step 1: Stop referring to it as the “terrible twos”, if you believe the twos are terrible they are more likely to be terrible to you.

There are ups and downs but overall I love interacting with my toddlers.

- Samantha on May 12th, 2009

What?! I am in the middle of the terrible twos, which started at 17 months. My son is almost 2 and a half. We do time out. Distracting him or “redirecting” has never worked, he gets his mind set on something and it is impossible to get him onto something else. He is also very big into saying “No” and not eating. Fun stuff!! Wow, and to think that 3 is going to be worse. Maybe I should get a live-in bartender to get me through the toddler (and maybe the teenage years too) years.

- MizMolly on May 12th, 2009

The two were manageable. We just had to have patience and be calm for our daughter, and she was fine. NOW THE THREES are a different story. Now we have to be firm but still calm and patient. We also have to be very careful to act the way we want her to act, because she mimicks us 24/7. Usually your child will just mirror exactly what they see. We also have to be consistant in our dicipline and goals. Thats what works for us.

- Lauren on May 12th, 2009

I learned a lot from the book ” The Happiest Toddler on the Block” by Dr. Harvey Karp. By using his strategies, my daughter had minimal meltdowns and I was able to communicate with her so much better. Looking forward to using it with daughter #2 who turns 2 this summer.

- Angela on May 12th, 2009

My Fiance and I are currently childless, but we recently took a trip with his cousin and her two boys aged 3 and 8. While they were wonderful boy,s I will most definitely concur that 3 year olds are difficult! He decided that for the 10 days we were all together that I was going to be his Mommy the full 10 days. When I was speaking to my Dad about it he had a good laugh and told me that he’s always felt the best birth control for young people thinking they want kids would be to hand them a 3 year old for a week. While I know someday I will most likely want kids I must fully agree with my dad that did put me off the idea of having them any time soon! Haha, I think I prefer babies…

- Amy on May 12th, 2009

First of all…. I think the “two’s” were NOT terrible at all… I think that “three’s” & early “four’s” are much harder!!

I managed those years with a lot of alcohol… ha-ha (j/k)!! No, I managed them with being consistent with all of the rules; and really trying to keep routines and schedules!!

- Melissa on May 12th, 2009

I’m not alone?! My son is turning 3 this month and he’s a sweet boy but his age seems to get the best of him some days. Thank you ladies, sometimes it helps to hear I’m not the only one going through this!

- sara on May 12th, 2009

wow. I have had two children go through teh 2′s and 3′s and honestly they were foul 2 yr olds and wonderful, fun, easy 3 yr olds. I have noticed it seems to be one or the other.

- fuschia on May 13th, 2009

totally disagree with the terrible 3s…. my son went through a pretty standard, and at times totally vile, 2s but woke up on his 3rd birthday a helpful, logical, reasonable human being. For us, 3 is the best age yet!

- zara on May 13th, 2009

I’m going to start out by saying that my son has been a hard child to raise from birth. He was the loudest baby in the nursery at the hospital and nothing satisfied him when he was an infant. I haven’t had an easy time since he was born. But I have managed his “terrible two’s” by trying to stay calm and ignoring some of the things he does. I know he is going to grow out of it (i hope) and he will be three on the 24th and I notice a difference in his behavior already. I like where he is right now. He’s helpful, listens better and talks really well. I love him!

- Kelli on May 13th, 2009

Anya went through a rough 18-24 months period and 2.5-3 years period. The 3-3.5 year period has been a joy but lately, as she hurtles towards the 4 year mark in October, she’s been kind of moody. We’ve given a lot of time-outs — not punishment just “a break” — and the funny thing is, sometimes she tells us “I need to take a time out.”

She knows when she’s in a bad mood (sometimes). We just try to be consistent with rules and let her know when something is ok and when it isn’t. We also offer a lot of hugs which can sometimes make a huge difference.

And HUMOR and FUN really helps. This morning, she didn’t want to eat breakfast, just wanted to watch Handy Manny, but I got her to stop crying by telling her that I wanted to SURPRISE her with three dresses she could wear this morning, that she needed to sit on my bed while I picked out some options and I would surprise her. That really threw her for a loop so she changed her mood quickly.

And when she’s grumpy in the car, sometimes she wants to sit on my lap (in the front seat) so instead of saying, “no you have to sit in your car seat” I say, “OK! Do you want to drive the car too?” and that cracks her up every time.

- Danielle on May 13th, 2009

Oh God, my boy was hard work when he was two, he just wanted to be with his Mummy all the time, and I was going through a very fragile and rough patch with his father and I was knackered as my son went to bed at odd hours, saying ” NO! I not going to bed!” and it was a constant struggle to get him to sleep as when he heard his father and I argue, he’d scream, ” Non, Maman, Pierre a dit NON!” and I’d usually have to sleep with him in his bed to get him off to sleep and if he didn’t get his own way, he’d bawl his eyes out and whine, for example, if his little friend had one of his toys, he’d grab it back and say, ” NON, c’est la mienne!” (It’s mine!).
But now my son is 4, he’s the most sweetest child on Earth and is just a beautiful boy and I absolutely LOVE him at this age, he’s so affectionate and calls me, ” La ange de ma coeur”, (the angel of my heart) which completely reduces me to a puddle!

- babyboopie on May 13th, 2009

* La belle ange de ma coeur I mean!

- babyboopie on May 13th, 2009

I’m going to repeat what I see a lot of readers have already said…

In my house, the twos weren’t that terrible. It’s the threes that have been bad! My son is overall a very well-behaved boy. But I have seen during his third year he pushes more (not physically), argues more, and has gotten sneaky about stuff!! Hopefully he’ll get it out of his system since his 4th birthday will be upon us soon!!

It’s all been about structure and boundaries. If I can keep him on track with the rules and what is and isn’t ok, and keep activities and the like relatively predictable (I mean…life would be no fun if there was ZERO spontaneity!) he does much better.

- Brandye on May 13th, 2009

It’s not the terrible two’s you have to worry about they are a doddle it’s the terrible three’s that follow. Laugh at them, have fun and just remember they don’t stay this size for long.

- Laura K on May 15th, 2009

I have 4 year old twins at home and let me just say that age two was a piece of cake. Although the twins did fight with eachother it was really no big deal. When they turned 3 it got bad. The girl twin began whining all the time and was just plain miserable. The boy was always into everything and threw tantrums when he didn’t get his way. At age 4 it seems to have gotten worse. They now have a full vocabulary and they will tell you off. My boy’s new thing is to take whatever is in his cup at the time and throw it either on the floor or at you when he is mad. The girl is still very whiny. I’d take the whining over the attitude I get from my boy any day.

- Ashley on May 15th, 2009

It’s important to remember that those moments of utter disregard for your requests and direction are actually signs that your daughter is developing perfectly, and that she is not intentionally being defiant!

It can be challenging as parents to remember this when in the throws of a temper tantrum or chasing after a defiant little one especially when you’ve run out of steam or need to get out the door, however, this is an incredibly rich and challenging time for your daughter as well. She is just beginning to discover her independence, as well as sorting out how to navigate this very big world with some space from you as she transitions away from her previous and complete need of you.

I find it helpful to stay grounded (as best I can) and to hold my son in the Love at all times. I get down to his level when talking to him and use a calm and loving voice, even when that voice needs to be firm. Most of the time, he responds well to this and it diminishes our tendency to get caught in a battle of wills. I also give him the two minute warning for everything too, so as to help him with the transitions. Two minutes to lunch, two minutes to naps, two minutes to bath, etc. It helps him understand that he can finish doing what he’s doing and that I respect his space as well, but when those two minutes are up, its time to get on with what needs doing too.

I wish you luck in the coming months and send a heartfelt and knowing smile your way! The good news is that this phase will be gone before we know it!

- jenn savage on July 11th, 2009