|Alison Dyer for PEOPLE for use on CBB|
Constance Marie has been open and honest about her struggle to conceive daughter Luna Marie, 3 months, and in a new interview with MomLogic she offers advice to other women experiencing infertility. “The thing that helped me most was knowing that I was going to have a family one way or another,” she explains. “If it wasn’t naturally, it would be with fertility drugs or IVF or donor eggs or adoption.”
With that mindset in place, Constance says she never felt as though she was out of options. Noting that “women are planners,” the 43-year-old actress adds that “if we know there’s a backup plan to get to where we want to be, even if we have to tweak it along the way, it makes us feel better.” Something else that helped was subtle reminders to stay positive. Constance elaborates,
“I put up Post-Its over my desk, one saying ‘Take the pressure off’ with a smiley face, and the other saying ‘No stress.’ I found when I was feeling down, seeing those would interrupt those negative thoughts in my head. It really helped.”
Reading up on the subject is never a bad idea, and Constance also recommends seeking out others who are in a similar situation — “even if it’s just online.” Lastly, she suggests that women should be realistic about their window of fertility. “I totally support women working on their relationships, their careers, or whatever they need to do to be healthy moms,” she says, “but it’s also important to realize you may not have as much time as you think.”
Constance — who conceived Luna on her third IVF trial after two miscarriages and an unsuccessful attempt with Clomid — also credits a “detox” for helping her to become pregnant. “I did acupuncture throughout the process, started eating organically, cut out fish because of the mercury, did a liver-gall bladder detox cleanse, and stopped drinking out of plastic bottles and got rid of all my Tupperware,” she explains, citing BPA concerns. ”I also tried Japanese enzyme baths, where you get buried up to your neck in wood shavings and enzymes, which pull toxins out of your body when they’re heated — you feel amazing afterward!”
A healthy home is every bit as much a priority now that Luna is on the scene. “I learned so much about the toxicity of our environment while trying to get pregnant, I didn’t want to do anything to mess up the kid now that she was finally here,” Constance says. In her research, she learned that nurseries “tend to be one of the most toxic rooms in the house,” so Constance set out to buck the trend with Luna’s eco-friendly room. To that end, she used VOC-free paint, purchased an “inexpensive crib” made exclusively of wood — not particleboard — and a mattress made of 100% rubber from a rubber tree, which has natural antibacterial and antifungal qualities.
“The more we all ask for this stuff, the more they’ll make. It took me three and a half years to become a mom, so it makes me feel so good to know I’m giving my baby the best chance I can to develop a strong immune system and live a healthy life.”
Luna is Constance’s daughter with fiancé Kent Katich.