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Apr 30 2009 01:00 PM ET
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Jennifer Garner on Violet's Identity Crisis

Le Poulin/Splash News Online

Questions of ‘who am I?’ are normal for adults, but Jennifer Garner revealed during a Thursday visit to Good Morning America that her 3-year-old daughter Violet Anne has experienced an identity crisis of her own. “She asked me, ‘Am I a baby? Am I grown up? Am I a mermaid? Am I a human being?” Jennifer, 37, recalled with a laugh. “[She said], ‘I don’t know who or what I am!’”

“I said, ‘Yeah, that’s what being three is like. You just don’t know.’ And she said, ‘I think I’m 16. I think I’m 35.’”

The appearance was in promotion of Jennifer’s new movie Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, which co-stars Matthew McConaughey. During the shoot, Matthew’s partner Camila Alves was often on the set. “She was the most beautiful pregnant woman you’ll ever see,” Jennifer raved. Matthew, meanwhile, used to enjoy ribbing Jennifer on all the sleep he was enjoying before his baby — Levi, 9 ½-months — had arrived. “Matthew would just calmly, every night, get 10 hours of sleep,” Jennifer exclaimed. “No parent in this world gets 10 hours of sleep a night.” GMA then cut away to a clip from Matthew’s appearance on Wednesday’s show, where he made it abundantly clear that he’s still very well rested!

“[The lack of sleep] is something that you ladies, you women and mothers have in you that I don’t think us fathers do, and we thank you for it. Because I need my eight hours.”

During a Wednesday stop by Late Night with David Letterman, Jennifer observed that life with baby no. 2 — Seraphina Rose Elizabeth, 3 ½-months — is much different than life with baby no. 1. “Oh, if we could all just be second time parents the first time around,” she said. “It’s so much easier.”

“The baby’s so happy, she’s so easy, she’s not like, ‘What? Why are you looking at me? Why are you stressing me out?’ You just forget about them. You think, ‘Oh, we’ve got another kid. Right. Did we leave it in the car?’”

Click below to read about Jennifer’s sleep-deprived trips to the grocery store and to watch Letterman.

Husband Ben Affleck is also benefiting from the ‘two kids’ learning curve. “When Violet was a baby he was so careful and delicate,” Jennifer joked. “But now with our second he’s just, like, flinging her around…he’s got her by her foot.” He’s also enjoying all the additional one-on-one time with the new big sister. “He’s first in charge of Violet,” Jennifer revealed. “He likes that, because now he’s kind of moved up.” Although Violet has at times displayed some anxiety over no longer being the baby of the family – “sometimes she’s, like, ‘put her down,’” Jennifer said — she has, for the most part, transitioned with ease.

“She’s really, really been a champ about it. Really sweet.”

Jennifer also told the audience how integral Violet was in naming her baby sister. “Violet, ever since she figured out that I was pregnant, said ‘Oh, that’s Sarah.’ We didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl, and we were like, ‘Oh, we’ll see,’” Jennifer explained. “We don’t know where she came up with it, but she said ‘Sarah’ consistently the whole time.”

“We kept saying, ‘Well she’s not going to name the kid.’ I mean, she’s a baby and we’ll decide [on a name]. We’ll figure it out…But [when Seraphina was born] she was really angelic and we were thinking of angel kinds of names; A week into it we still hadn’t decided, so we just went with what Violet wanted…Seraphina means little angel, and it means angel in every language.”

While she is more relaxed the second time around, the workload for mom is obviously doubled. “It’s crazy,” Jennifer says, adding “it’s like having ten kids.”

“You have one and you think you start to know what you’re doing and it’s under control, and then you have the other one and it all goes to hell in a hand basket.”

As someone who always prided herself on her ability to get by on very little sleep, Jennifer says that she recently learned that she’s not doing nearly as good of a job at it as she thought she was! “What I’ve realized is that I’m good at faking it,” she joked. “Because I’ll just be going along and then I find myself at the grocery store [zoning out] and the lady at the checkout is going, ‘Are you going to pay for this? Is there something you wanted to say to me, or ask me for?’” She adds,

“I don’t know why they call it ‘nights’ though. People will ask, ‘How was the baby last night?’ I say, what is ‘night’? It just means I put on sweatpants and took a couple of naps…It’s a disaster.”

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past opens Friday.

Sources: Good Morning America, The Late Show with David Letterman

– Missy


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Comments (0) + Add a comment

Well, now I know how little Seraphina got her name! How cute is it that Violet came up with it from the start? What a neat story to tell Sera when she is older.

As a mom of two myself, each child three years apart, I can totally identify with Jennifer’s every word – wearing sweatpants all the time, not knowing if it is day or night, spacing out at the grocey store, and being much more calm the second time around.

Jennifer seems like such a great, down-to-earth mother. I know her two daughters will benefit from having such a loving, caring, hands-on mom. Not to mention a hunky and awesome daddy!!

- Allison on

I saw her on Letterman last night, she was very candid and funny about having two kids now. I just had my second in Feb and i can totally relate to what she says and glad i am not the only one who feels like that! by the way, she really took a hard fall exercising, she was showing letterman all her cuts and bruises…looks painful.

- Laura on

I’m really starting to understand why everyone just loves this woman so much. I was never really a fan…she seemed like such a goody-two-shoes, but the more of her I see on this website, and the more interviews, etc. I see/read, I am starting to think she is fabulous!

Like everyone always says, she seems so incredibly down to earth. Very laid-back and genuine.

Needless to say, I’m a big fan of her now, too! ;)

- Lis on

I love her approach to motherhood….she just laughs everything off. I think it’s good to be able to do that. Her comment about “The baby’s so happy, she’s so easy, she’s not like, ‘What? Why are you looking at me? Why are you stressing me out?’ You just forget about them. You think, ‘Oh, we’ve got another kid. Right. Did we leave it in the car?’’ made me laugh :)

- Sam on

““[The lack of sleep] is something that you ladies, you women and mothers have in you that I don’t think us fathers do, and we thank you for it. Because I need my eight hours.”

What does that mean ? That his partner gets up to tend the baby and Matthew gets to sleep ? 0_0

- Megan on

Man, as if I couldn’t love this woman any more… then she has to go and say all this? I just adore her, seriously, is there a more level headed, down to earth, sweet person in Hollywood? I wish she was my friend or sister, we’d have a blast! :)

- kmf on

True words spoken by a mom! That’s all I am saying and I’m sure all of us mothers can relate to that! :D

- Nancy on

It is interesting how it is on one side arm and leg..She must be
clumsy like Violet is.. Vi took a tumble the other day in Boston too

It is nice how Jen gave Dave honey and tea..And the polysporin was
a nice jester and the comment that Dave said about her face was
sweet.. It is like what Matthew McCaughney said that for the first
5 months they want mama…And now that his son is 9 months they have a good bond with each other…It is nice that Ben mentioned
that too that he loves to spend time with his baby Vi..

- Marie Snyard on

I would assume that perhaps Camilla Breastfeed’s Levi therefore there wouldn’t really be a need for daddy to get up too. It’s not like there is much he a can do but I must say woman who have a lack of sleep Matthew don’t always function very well or hide it to the best of their ability. We’re not super human we just run on adrenaline and do what we have to!

- JMO on

Megan that sort of rubbed me the wrong way too! That he needs 8 hrs so Camilla has no choice? I think that’s wrong lol. I am all for sharing that responsibility!

- Tracey on

That’s such a cute story of how Seraphina got her name. I’m glad they didn’t just go with Sarah…but with Sera instead!

- Brooklyn on

I’m so glad to hear the second one is usually easier!!! The first one was so tough — so much second guessing, so much fretting!!! I’m so glad to hear that part gets easier!!!!

- mmh on

I don’t see what is so wrong with Sarah. It’s classic.

- Sarah on

LOL! at the comments about Violet asking if she was a mermaid, etc. Kids are so honest and innocent in their curiosity!

- Gen on

I think Matthew’s comment came out wrongly, but I think what he meant was that he needs his 8 hours, he can’t function without it, and he marvels that women seem to be able to do all sorts of things on little sleep. I don’t think he meant that it’s always Camilla getting up in the night to tend to Levi, more that he admires that she can do it because the lack of sleep floors him!

- Rachel-Jane on

I love her!!! She is soooo down to earth and has the best personality!

Jennifer- if you read this site…

You are AWESOME!

- Amanda on

I am always so glad when Jen is promoting a movie. I love seeing, and hearing, more from her!!

- Jen K on

I take Matthew’s comment as a compliment. He is saying that it is amazing that women can still function through their day without tons of sleep (which is TRUE), while he needs his 8 hours.
I know that I am the first to wake up if either of our kids (4 and 2) cry or make noise on the middle of the night. I am much more sensitive to that then my husband is.

- Kelli on

Sarah, I prefer your spelling too. Give me those old classic names anyday.

- Alice on

Matt is right men just cant handle getting up at night. My hubby tried so hard, but he was a total mess and just couldn’t focus. So Matt is saying that WE women have a special gift of being able to do it all on little sleep and he is right. Those mother instincts come in and we totally get it done.

- kim on

She’s hilarious. I agree with Letterman, she looks so young. She sure is looking good for a 37-year old woman.

- Violets Auntie on

What a great interview! It’s nice that she explained how Sera got her name. Such a beautiful family.

- Angel on

love her – she’s so great!

- Mimi on

I kind of think Matthew’s comment is oddly complimentary towards women. Men (and I am a guy) do seem to be a little more “wimpy” when they get sick and when they are tired for some reason. I personally don’t…I suck it up and do my thing, but my dad and my brother are like that. It’s almost like women have more tolerance to take care of people and stretch there resistance to the max. Women rock! I know that I get really wacked out if I don’t get a good 7 or more hours of sleep, but I think I would defininetly give those up once my kids came…I would help whenever was needed regardless of my comfort level.

- Ryan on

I breastfed exclusively so I was up every 2h with our LO when she was younger. It’s so true that night is only pajamas but no different from the day. As far as Matthew’s comments go it’s pretty normal for a lot of women to do the feeding and diaper changes at night if they are BF only. During the first couple of months when I was healing from my c/s I would wake up my husband after LO was done nursing so he could change her bum and get her back to sleep.

- Lorus on

She is sooo charismatic!!! I mean you just have to love her! Those dimples, that smile, the infectious laugh…. ALL of it!!! I like Jennifer Garner and I’m so happy that she has found love and happiness and now has a BEAUTIFUL family. Lucky woman!! :)

- Crystal on

Another fantastic interview with Jennifer Garner. I just love her. Her approach to motherhood is so fresh and fun. I also LOVED that story about Violet, “Who am I?” Too cute!

- Stephany on

Jennifer and I are in the same boat almost exactly! I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 3 month old. My 3 1/2 yr old feels exactly the same way about her brother. And I know what she means about lack of sleep. I don’t know how I am getting by! I need to go to sleep right now but have to catch up on my CBB! :)

- Jaimi on

I absolutely adore Jennifer!
She seems so sweet & down to earth.
I love her ability to laugh at herself when she goofs up.
The story about Violet naming her baby sister is cute.
I laughed several times while viewing those two clips.
LOVE LOVE LOVE HER!
I can’t wait to see the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past movie just to see her.

- JenFan on

“…You just forget about them. You think, ‘Oh, we’ve got another kid. Right. Did we leave it in the car?’” like Sam, I laughed at this comment. However, if it had been Angelina Jolie who said that, she more than likely would have been raked over the coals for it!

- CelebBabyLover on

Agreed ^

- gargoylegurl on

LOL, the interview was great! How could anyone not love her after watching that! I would love to have her as a friend, I think she’d just be so much fun.

- CTBmom on

3 year old with an identity crisis LOL, only in the 21th century. Too true second time around is never as stressful cause you know what is coming.

- redheadlass on

I am with you I got it……

- renalavolution on

What a charming, charming girl. I hope that she did not get Dave’s bug.

- Peg on

I really enjoyed the interview and learning how they came up with the new baby’s name. So cute and glad to see her dressed up for the promotion of the movie. I love her work and looking forward to seeing the movie tomorrow.

- Rosy J on

What a breath of fresh air. I love her stories. Delightful family.

- BeckyPeabody on

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