Kelly Rutherford's Breastfeeding Plan: I'll Stop Before College!

Patricia Schlein/WENN

Actress Kelly Rutherford is a woman who certainly practices what she preaches! Not only does the soon-to-be mom of two — she expects her daughter in June — take pride in using Seventh Generation cleaning supplies, she tells OK! that she is an “eco-breastfeeding mom” to her 2-year-old son Hermés Gustaf Daniel.

Of her decision to continue nursing her toddler, Kelly has no regrets, but understands that each mother and child pair approach the situation differently. “It’s not good for everyone, but it’s been great for me,” she says. While the initial benefits hold nutritional value, Kelly explains that extended breastfeeding eventually becomes “a bond or a nurturing thing.” Not to worry, laughs the 40-year-old, there is an end date in sight!

“Obviously, before he goes to college, I’ll probably have to quit breastfeeding. You know when it’s right and you feel that.”

Joking aside, the Gossip Girl actress believes her baby boy will wean himself; Until then, Kelly basks in the continued bonding, extremely grateful for the special time with Hermés. “[Some mothers] have to go to work and they can’t always be there,” she notes. “I’ve been fortunate enough to be a mom who has been able to be around and be home.”

Adopting a similar philosophy to deal with the infamous terrible twos, Kelly seeks advice from The Natural Child, a book that discusses fostering a child’s independence. In a plan to “circumvent the terrible twos and the teenage years,” Kelly reveals that the key to it all seems to be a strong parental presence. “If you take the time now to be there and present with them and listen, hopefully you won’t have such a tough time because they’re both natural phases of independence,” she explains.

“I’m doing my best to put a lot of time in now and listen and be present and support [Hermés] having his own mind, opinions, feelings and emotions, and doing the best I can to be present for those things — instead of ignoring them and hoping it all turns out.”

Hermés and baby-on-the-way are Kelly’s children with her estranged husband, Daniel Giersch.

Source: OK!

– Anya

Comments

Good for her!
I breasted my first for over three years, my second is still nursing (21 months) and I’m expecting my third in June just like Kelly. There is so little known about extended breastfeeding it seems. The more your child can get, the better. Those who have negative comments I often find are those who just don’t know any better. I’m happy to have surrounded myself with supportive, informed folks who know that what I’m doing is best for my babe. No artificial breast milk for my kids! I’m happy to see Kelly knows the same.

- Jodi on April 8th, 2009

Well okay then! LOL!

- Chris on April 8th, 2009

Good for Kelly for being outspoken about extended breast-feeding! I personally believe it a very natural and maternal thing to do (however, I in no way intend to make other mothers feel guilty who are unable or uncomfortable doing it). As they always say to each it’s own but I do applaud Kelly for her openness. With more positive portrayals of extended nursing then maybe we can slowly begin changing views (which would make it easier for those who do it too)!

- Shelby on April 8th, 2009

All three of my kids weaned themselves between 8-10 months. I was willing to continue as long as they wanted to so I was a little disappointed that they weaned so young! I think extended breastfeeding is wonderful.

- CC on April 8th, 2009

I too practice extended breastfeeding and I am happy to see a celeb speaking so openly about it.

- Shawna on April 8th, 2009

I have been breastfeeding since 2004. When I gave birth to my daughter in 2006, I was still nursing my 2 year old son. He eventually weaned at 2 1/2 and my daughter is still nursing at 21/2. I do not meet many mothers that do at that age but never get any weird looks just amazement!

- serena on April 8th, 2009

This sounds like a great plan, but I can’t help but wonder how her acrimonious divorce and custody battle will affect her children—will it counteract everything she is doing to foster an independent, well-adjusted child??? I know one can never know the full story of a divorce and something very bad must have happened for her to get divorced while pregnant with her second child, but still…

- mary on April 8th, 2009

My mother breast-fed me when until i was 2 1/2 yrs old! The only reason i stopped is because my mom was pregnant with my twin sisters. She called the doctor and said i didn’t want to stop and the babies were due in a week! The doctor told her keep breat feeding me because when the babies are born the milk will change it’s taste! well,when the babies were born and i tried to nurse and hated the taste and went for a cup! lol. So i wonder when Kelly has her new baby if Hermes will be turned off by the new taste! Most doctors believe it will wean the older child once the milk comes in for the new baby!

- g!na on April 8th, 2009

I had no idea you could still breasfeed while pregnant. Seems like a lot taken out of the body. I’m impressed with her!! As a mom whose milk never came in (much to my complete dismay) I am glad though to hear her say that “it’s not for everyone.” People who don’t believe that, believe it or not, look down on people like me who physically couldn’t breastfeed. It was eye-opening for me when I couldn’t and I learned the hard way to have an attitude like Kelly’s…

- mmh on April 8th, 2009

I breastfed both my sons until 2 months after they turned 2. My youngest son…almost 3 was easier to wean then my older boy. It was great when it’s mutual but with my 1st son, I began to feel resentful as he became more aggressive and possesive of my time and body. That’s when I knew it was time.

- Momta2 on April 8th, 2009

Well, I guess her plans to breastfeed the new baby will depend on if she is given custody or not.

- Beverley on April 8th, 2009

It’s great that women breastfeed as long as they can, depending on the situation.

I know a girl who was breastfeeing her daughter almost up to her first birthday and only breast milk. I thought was strange because usually you try to introduce other foods in there alongside breast milk.

- robinepowell on April 8th, 2009

While mothers do introduce solids later in the first year, it is not medically necessary. Breastmilk is more than enough nourishment for the first year.

As for custody, I doubt she will not get custody of the new baby. She may have to share joint custody or visitation with her ex, but unless she is a serious danger to her daughter, a judge will not remove a nursing infant from her mother’s care. And breastfeeding doesn’t mean she can’t pump for the dad to bottlefeed.

- michelle on April 8th, 2009

that’s amazing!!

- cas on April 9th, 2009

Beverly- No judge in their right mind would take a newborn baby away from it’s mother unless there are extenuating circumstances (the mother is abusive or a drug addict, for example)!

- CelebBabyLover on April 9th, 2009

Beverly,
Usually breastfeeding is something that is taken into account for custody arrangements of babies (from what I understand.)

Robine,
There’s nothing wrong with exclusive breastfeeding for a year, solids before a year is just for fun and exploration, not for nutrition.

- Rebecca on April 9th, 2009

Kudos to her! I think it’s great when celebs talk openly about extended breastfeeding. More women do it but it’s so hush hush. My older daughter nursed until 4y and I’m currently still nursing my 15m old. We’re going to try for another this summer so we’ll see how long she lasts.

- Lorus on April 9th, 2009

I love Kelly, it’s always nice to have a celebrity come out and be open about extended breastfeeding.

- N.S on April 9th, 2009

Seems to me like Ms. Rutherford is using the breastfeeding as an emotional crutch to get her through a rough divorce. She may think her reasons are for nutrition and bonding, but subliminally they may be to fill an emotional void during a stressful period of her life.

- Ellen Smith on April 9th, 2009

Rebecca It seems weird that you wouldn’t introduce your child to food when they are old enough, especially since there is nutrition in baby foods, while breastfeeding. That way it’s not a sudden shock to their system when they no longer have breast milke to rely on. Robin

- robinepowell on April 9th, 2009

I love that she breastfeeds! and is even doing child lead weaning, from my understanding…maybe she’s even AP?

- B on April 9th, 2009

Ellen, I nursed my oldest until she weaned herself at 3 years, 8 months, and it wasn’t an emotional crutch at all. When you do child-led weaning you really have to know yourself, know what you’re doing is best for your child, and be ready to defend it (unfortunately) or tell people to mind their own business. All too often people would tell me she was too old, it was inappropriate, or worse, that I was turning her into a lesbian (I’m not even kidding.) By doing child-led weaning, she’s not using it as an emotional crutch because she has to be so strong emotionally to deal with the uninformed comments of people like you.

Robin, no, it doesn’t seem weird not to introduce “baby food” to babies under a year old. My girls got teeth very early (4.5 and 3.5 months of age), but there are many babies out there that don’t get their first teeth until well past their first birthday. Baby food companies want you to believe that you need to use their product, but you don’t. Breast milk, even formula, is complete nutrition for babies under a year old, ANYTHING else is purely supplemental, for fun, not nutrition. Talk to any GOOD pediatrician and they’ll tell you the same thing. No woman I know that is doing exclusive breastfeeding for a year (with no other foods period) goes cold turkey weaning at a year, that would be stupid and really distressing to the baby, not just on the standpoint of nutritionally (because you still have to approach foods cautiously to watch for allergic reactions), but also emotionally.

We did child-led feeding, where we put food (diced and/or steamed) on their high chair tray and they ate what they wanted, leaving the rest. We followed their cues for feeding, so we did start before a year, for exploration purposes, but some babies aren’t ready before a year and that is just fine. You have women giving their babies WAY too food, or replacing breastmilk or formula with food, and that’s just not right for a baby nutritionally, the idea that an infant needs to be on 3 meals a day with snacks by the age of 1 just boggles my mind, that’s too much food when combined with the required breastmilk/formula intake!

- Rebecca on April 10th, 2009

What Rebecca said. Amen!

- Elita on April 10th, 2009

Rebecca: I never said I disagreed with long-term breast feeding. I merely suggested that we, the public, are only privvy to what Ms. Rutherford tells us about her motivations, when in fact perhaps there may be some other factors going on which she may not care to discuss or even realize are playing a part in the process. People do many things and justify them with plausible, easily digestable (no pun intended) excuses to avoid criticism. If Ms. Rutherford said “I’m an advocate of extended breastfeeding because it’s helping me copy with a rough time emotionally because of my divorce” we would all jump on that and criticize that, even though the ancillary benefit of that action would be that her child was getting breast milk.

- Ellen Smith on April 10th, 2009

I don’t care what her reason is, whether there’s some other reason that she’s not sharing, her little boy is getting the benefit of breastmilk far beyond the average weaning age in the US *AND* she is talking about it to the public. That is fabulous, should be applauded, and not questioned. Let’s not forget that Hermes was over the age of 18 months when Kelly left her soon-to-be-ex, so she probably made her decision to follow his lead before that (I know I did.)

- Rebecca on April 10th, 2009

another extended nurser, earthy mama here. I nursed my first until he was 3 and I was about 7 months pregnant w/ my second. He’s happily nursing still (number 2) at 25 months old.

Good for her!

- Jacki on April 11th, 2009

I am so happy to read all the positive comments on this story. It is highly doubtful that the mother is “using” breastfeeding as an emotional crutch. There is no way should could nurse the toddler if he did not want to himself! Kudos to Kelly and I hope to read more stories like this in the future! The more normal breastfeeding becomes, the better society we will have.

- Emily on April 13th, 2009

I have to disagree. Extended nursing seems borderline inappropriate to me. There’s no need to past a certain age and it really is a little disturbing to see a toddler nursing. Cut the cord ladies.

- j on May 14th, 2009