|Courtesy Life & Style for use on CBB|
When it comes to gaining — and losing — baby weight, Carnie Wilson is a realist. The 40-year-old songstress tells MomLogic that “when someone has a weight problem when they’re pregnant, they will struggle before, during and after to lose weight”… and she’s been no exception. Currently expecting her second daughter — Luciana, due in June — Carnie admits that her first trimester was not optimal. “I did put on [a] chunk of weight in the beginning because I was feeling so sick,” she explains. “And like the only thing that helped me at 2:00 a.m. was an English muffin.” There isn’t remorse, though — only acceptance. “All I can do is listen to what my body needs and feels,” she says, adding:
“With someone who doesn’t struggle with weight before or after pregnancy, it’s different. Look at someone like Milla Jovovich — she was a toothpick. She was a model before, gained a lot while pregnant — but lost a ton of weight right after her pregnancy. Or someone like Kate Hudson — they blow up and then shrink right down right after. But I’m not like that. I’m not that athletic type.”
Pointing out that the average woman in the United States is a size 14, Carnie says that women do themselves a disservice by comparing themselves to a select few celebrity moms. “What is normal?” she asks. “Being anorexic is not normal. It’s normal to gain weight during pregnancy. It’s something that has to happen to your body,” she observes. What’s not normal, she adds, is the “added pressure” women put on themselves to be something they’re not.
“I think the focus is twisted. Look, it’s not healthy to be too skinny or too overweight. You have to be happy with yourself though, and if your ass is too big (for you), then work out. But it has to be a personal thing, not about what the rest of society says you should be.”
Click below to read Carnie’s thoughts on working motherhood.
Achieving that mindset didn’t happen overnight; Instead, Carnie — who underwent gastric bypass surgery in 1999 — says that when she reached a certain age, she began to view her body differently. “When I turned 40, I’m like ‘F this,'” she admits. “Forget this…I don’t have to be a certain size. It’s just about how you take care of yourself.'”
“I look at how healthy I am now rather than how I look on the outside as a sign.”
Carnie says that her pregnancy with Luciana has been different than her pregnancy with daughter Lola Sofia, turning 4 this month, noting that her body “is used to being pregnant” and that her “uterus knows what to do.” At seven months along, she’s still exercising. “I’m walking a lot. I’m not a hiking kind of pregnant chick — that’s so not me,” she says. “But I’m eating healthy.” Emotionally, Carnie reveals that she is “excited and feel more proud.”
“I’m 40 and pregnant, you know! And I’m carrying a few extra pounds, but that’s okay.”
If there any concerns about how Lola will accept a new little sister, Carnie isn’t showing them. She and husband Rob Bonfiglio have made it a point to make Lola a part of the pregnancy “from the very beginning,” Carnie says.
“When I took the pregnancy test, she was right there with me and we all jumped up together. We are including her and making her feel like she’s Big Sister. I think she’s got a great foundation because her nature is already very motherly.”
Like many working moms, Carnie says that she struggles with “constant guilt” that she “can’t get past.” Admitting that even if she wasn’t working she’d still wonder whether she “wasn’t doing enough,” however, Carnie has learned to cut herself some slack. “You know, I’m sober and I’m a clear-headed woman,” she notes. “I’ve been sober four-and-a-half years. I now am able to make smart decisions, and I think I just have to go with the flow and be present.” Part of being present is being honest with Lola — and someday Luciana — about why mommy needs to work. “Do I wish I could retire?” Carnie asks. “Sure, but that’s not life.”
“I have to work and I make sure Lola understands that. I thank her for understanding that, and I teach her that I can be a strong woman with a career and be a mommy. It’s all about balance — balancing work, being a mother and taking care of myself.”
Carnie can currently be seen hosting The Newlywed Game on The Game Show Network.