Cynthia Nixon on Parents: The More, The Merrier

Fred Montana/Splash News Online

They say two heads are better than one and for 12-year-old Samantha and 6-year-old Charles Ezekiel, four parents are better than two! So says their mom, actress Cynthia Nixon, during an interview with Babble. Despite considering herself a hands-on mom, Cynthia — who keeps a close circle around her kids — admits that, between four adults, the workload of parenthood is easily divided.

“My kids have four parents, including my girlfriend [Christine Marinoni], who’s been a stay-at-home mom for the last year and a half. We don’t have a lot of people we hire, but we do have the four of us. The more parents, the better.”

With a strong support system, The Sex and the City actress has no qualms about heading to work each day, as she believes in the balance of motherhood and a career. Time spent at home with the family, however, should be time well spent. “I don’t think you have to be a stay-at-home mom to have time [for your kids]. I’ve seen wonderful stay-at-home moms and moms who could use a little improving,” she explains. “We’ve all seen the mom who devotes all her time and attention to her child and is so hungry for adult interaction that as soon as she’s around another adult, she’s not paying attention anymore.” That said, Cynthia admits the same rings true for working mothers.

Having grown up in a household with a working mother who “wasn’t there to pick me up from school,” but was only a phone call away “any time I needed to talk,” Cynthia walks the fine line between raising a family and fostering her success outside the home. However, for the 42-year-old, the path is one she is willing to take after recalling the sense of pride she felt for her own mom. “I loved having her home, but I also loved getting all dressed up and going to visit her at work. That made me feel good,” she shares.

Samantha and Charles are Cynthia’s children with Danny Mozes. Cynthia is currently starring on Broadway in Distracted, which runs through May 16th.

Source: Babble

– Anya

Comments

Confused..who are the 4 adults? Cynthia, Daniel, Christine and ????

- CC on April 3rd, 2009

The #4 is Danny’s girlfriend.

I love Cynthia, I think she’s great. Can’t wait for SATC sequel!!!

- Brandi on April 3rd, 2009

The 4th person is must likely Danny’s Girlfriend.

- debbie on April 3rd, 2009

I dunno how I’d feel about that. I mean your relationships can end(clearly), then what? Those two parents disappear and you add another two? I’m glad they’re all on the same page but it seems like it can get pretty murky.

- Jane on April 3rd, 2009

Jane: I don’t really see how this situation is any different from the many blended families that exist all over the country. The parents end their marriage/relationship and then go on to form committed relationships/marriages with other people. There’s always the chance the second relationship or marriage will fail, but that’s the risk you take. What should the parents do, not get into a second relationship/marriage just because the first one didn’t work out and they have kids?

- Grace on April 3rd, 2009

Disagree, unless all the parents are on the same page.
Don’t get me wrong, more adults, more supervision…but murky is right.

- Sasha on April 3rd, 2009

Grace,

I’m well aware and am from a blended family. My issue isn’t with that at all. I’m not a stay together for the kids kinda girl. I think a childs happiness is usually a reflection of the parents. I just don’t think the significant others should be called or act as parents to the kids. I mean, to a certain extent there has to be I guess responsibility there…They have to have some hand in the childs life, but to call it parenting or have it be on the same level…too much. Because if they’re 4 parents that means if breakups happen they’re losing 2 parents. The parents really really have to be on the exact same page. I think two parents find that difficult at any given time imagine four!

Then there’s the “you’re not my mom!” “you’re not my dad” crap. Seems like a hassle.

- Jane on April 3rd, 2009

Jane: I wasn’t implying that you thought they should have stayed together for the sake of the kids.

I was saying that if both parents have moved on and made serious commitments to other people then those significant others are a part of the child’s family either way. So they might as well make things as healthy as possible for the kids and let all parties have an active role in raising the children, rather than having the significant others treat the children as if they are only their partners children.

Cynthia and her girlfriend have been together for 5 years, so it’s not as if she’s introducing someone into the kids lives that she’s not serious about to her kids. I’m not a fan of people introducing every person they date to their kids, but once a serious commitment is made then I think all adults involved should act like parents.

If we start taking the approach that we shouldn’t do things because it might not work out then I guess no one should have kids because their marriage might not work and then the kids would be upset. Or maybe we shouldn’t have kids at all because there’s no guarantee that the parents will live until their kids reach adulthoods. There are all kinds of what-if scenarios for things going horribly wrong, but I don’t think it’s healthy to avoid things just because it might not work out. Can you imagine having to explain to your children later, “Well my partner really loved you and wanted to be very involved in your life and help parent you but I wouldn’t let them because I didn’t have an ironclad guarantee that things would work out perfectly.”

If the significant others involved are as committed to the kids as they seem then they won’t abandon the children just because the relationship doesn’t work out. Jane Seymore comes to mind right now. She married a man who already had a child, helped to parent his child, and then when they got divorce she still asked for some form of custody and got it, and now that child lives with her either part or most of the time (I can’t remember which).

- Grace on April 4th, 2009

What I don’t understand is why there was no backlash against Nixon for leaving her children’s father and immediately moving in with her girlfriend and taking her children with her. I admit I’m not part of their family, so I don’t know all the details and I may be wrong, but it has always bothered me that other celebrities catch flack for thigns like this and Nixon didn’t. I don’t have a problem with someone leaving their children’s other parent, if they feel it’s absolutely neccesary, but I do have a problem with immediately shacking up with another person and taking your children with you. It’s a big adjustment for children when their parents separate. Immediately moving them in with your new lover just seems, to me, to be wrong.

- Sam on April 4th, 2009

Sam, I don’t think it got that much press at the time. Cynthia Nixon doesn’t seem to generate much press in general.
Jane, no one enters a relationship expecting it to end. As far as I know, Cynthia and Danny have both been in a committed, long term relationship since their relationship ended. It’s hardly a revolving door of parental figures.

If the co-parenting situation works for them, that is great.If the kids are OK, that’s the important thing.

- meghan on April 4th, 2009

Sam: I think the reason for the lack of backlash is that Cynthia and Danny split up in June of 2003, and her relationship with Christine didn’t become public knowledge until late 2004. It’s hardly controversial to become involved with someone knew a year and a half after splitting from the last person.

- Grace on April 4th, 2009

Grace, well said! I agree that it’s sad when a childs parent and step-parent split up and the child does not get to see the step-parent again, but what else are you going to do? You can’t have a step-child living in your own house and not parent him/her.

Meghan, I think that Cynthia’s coming out of the closet DID receive a lot of press (I remember reading a lot about it at the time), and that may have overshadowed her split with Mozes.

- Sam on April 4th, 2009

Grace:

I understand what you’re saying, I don’t really think its what I would choose for myself. To me, if you haven’t adopted a child or if the childs natural mom and dad are both in picture, I just don’t see the need for interjection. Advice? Sure.But when I think of parents, I think of final say-so and I just don’t see how that can go to four people.

Meghan:.

I know that but I just don’t think kids should have four parents. Just my opinion. If it works for them cool, but its just something I can’t wrap my head around.

- Jane(y) on April 4th, 2009

Jane: The reason why I see it as a good thing is because I have seen up close and personal how well this can work and I saw the effect it has on a child to have more than just 2 adults who are all fully involved in the proces. Each person brings to the experience their own set of skills, strong points, good qualities – and each person can bring something to that childs life that the other adults involved don’t. Essentially you have more bases covered. I think it has a wonderful effect on the child, as long as everyone involved keeps their egos and check and makes room for the other adults.

- Grace on April 4th, 2009

Grace, I agree that waiting a year and a half is a good amount of time before moving in with your new partner; however, Christine and Nixon got together in December 2003, not late 2004 (it was actually not reported until September 2004, but her publicist acknowledged that they had been together for 10 months). Nixon and Mozes split in June 2003, so that’s 6 months, not a year and a half. 6 months is still better than right away, though! I guess I wasn’t remembering the situation correctly. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

- Sam on April 4th, 2009

Sam: My point was that there was no backlash because no one knew that she was with Christine in late 2003. No one knew about the relationship until the fall of 2004 and so I don’t think anyone thought it was odd or bad because there had been a space of 1 1/2 years between hearing about the one break up and hearing about the new relationship, so it didn’t seem fast. And then even when people did hear about the new relationship, no one was really sure when it started. I have seen widely varrying accounts of when the one relationship ended and the next began – I think the outrage comes more when it’s really clear when one thing ends and the next begins.

- Grace on April 4th, 2009

Disagree, sorry. I’m very liberal and don’t believe people should stay together at all costs. But frankly, divorce SUCKS for the kids no matter how you spin it. The adults are always saying how “great” it is for the kids. My sister had a very amicable divorce but I’m telling you her daughter has so many caretakers she doesn’t know where home is, especially with both parents working.

So adults choose to make major life changes, and the kids get dragged along. They always act like it is in the kids’ best interest but we all know whose interest it serves.

If Cindy had run away to be with another man, I doubt people would approve. But because she ran away to be with a woman, we’re all supposed to applaud???

- DD on April 4th, 2009

Why does her comment about stay-at-home -mothers who don’t pay attention to their kids if there is another adult around annoy me?

I think its because typically a stay at home mother has spent maybe 10 straight hours with her kids already that day, 365 days a year, with no weekends, with no sick leave with that child. Its probably been MONTHS since that poor woman was even able to go to the toilet by herself…so if she wants to talk to another adult out at a playgroup, I say she bloody well should without being judged by some other mother who may be having their fun “mommy-daughter-day” off from work and who is therefore FASCINATED by every move her (rarely seen) child makes.

No disrespect to the many great working mothers out there (like myself), but I remember my days back at the coal-face of parenting all too well and almost all stay-at-home mothers get my respect because its a tough job. Nixons comment is too glib for my liking.

- fevvers on April 4th, 2009

Goodness me. What perfect people we have on this board. Everyone here seems to live perfect lives. Come on, real life doesn’t work out the way you think it’s going to! Lots of people get married, have children and then break up? Should we all stop having relationships and children in case they don’t work out? And honestly, all the focus on one person’s life is silly. Cynthia is just saying that her children have four adults to talk to their problems, joys and whatever else about. This can only be a good thing!

- Jane on April 4th, 2009

I think Cynthia was just trying to say that no one path (working or not) is “better” and not all SAHMs are better than working moms. Because Moms are made up of all kinds of different people and some people do better than others. It’s pretty simple, really.

I agree with what she said about the many parents too. I can’t imagine being in a step-parent role and not being a parental figure.

- lis on April 4th, 2009

DD, divorce sucks for the kids, but it also sucks for the kids being in a situation where their parents hate each other and fight constantly. Better to see the parent in a happy healthy relationship (no matter what sex the other party is), or happy on their own, than miserable in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship.

I know, because I lived it, and I prayed every day that my parents would separate because I couldn’t stand the misery.

- Chi Chi on April 4th, 2009

fevvers, I do believe you are my hero!! I worked outside of the home for 7 years, until my husband was established enough in his job to become the sole income. Being a SAHM is so much harder than I ever thought when I was a “working” mom. The whole, not being able to go to the bathroom by yourself, really does a number on you.

- Finnaryn on April 4th, 2009

We have two sons and will be married for 22 years this December. Having care-taking adults blend in and out of parental roles is not the ideal, IMO.

- nosoupforyou on April 4th, 2009

Who says the adults go in and out of parental roles in this situation? Cynthia has been with Christine for five years. Danny’s relationship has also been long term. Charles is six. He probably doesn’t even remember not having these people in his life. It’s sounds pretty consistent to me. Consistency is what kids need above all.

- meghan on April 4th, 2009

Man, neither Samantha nor Cynthia looks particularly “merry” in this photograph. Samantha looks miserable and Cynthia looks vaguely embarrassed. Isn’t there a better stock photo of them somewhere? You know, you just can’t win in a blended family. We all make mistakes, most of us try our best. Kids are resilient, parents are human, we muddle through.

- crimpe on April 4th, 2009

I can’t believe the negativity here, these kids have four people who love them and look out for them. In my book that makes them lucky. There’s so many kids in the world who don’t even have one adult that cares that much for them, so I don’t understand why anyone would look down on Cynthia et al for not having a so-called “normal” family situation. The ideal family in my view has adults who love and take care of the kids, the number and gender of the parents is irrelevant.

- Jeanne on April 4th, 2009

I disagree with many of the comments supporting this situation and many like this, I think that parents can be so selfish these days, putting there own ‘needs’ and desires before there kids.

- Nellie on April 5th, 2009

Jeanne, nobody said anything negative about the gender of the parents.

- Sam on April 5th, 2009

How many wonderful perfect people we have here! CONGRATS! Some of you people would die of shock if you knew how I grew up – completely unconventional, yet I turned out fine. We should not spend time and worry about kids who have people raising them and who love them. We should be worrying about critics who feel that kids will grow up “wrong” because the children are not raised in they way that they believe children should be raised. Just because you think one method is good, does not mean others should do what you do. No one should act like the moral compass of the world. Kids of divorced or gay parents turn out any worse then those of traditional families. Extreme examples : Adolf Hitler was raised by TWO parents, yet the father was abusive to the mother (I guess divorce was not an option – but thats Ok right, as long as they are TWO people raising the child…); Mother Theresa was raised by her mother after her father died when she was a child -so by some people’s logic Hitler was raised better than Mother Theresa….. If Cynthia’s kids are happy and loved then what are people so upset about?! – a little judgmental I would say.

- Not the Moral compass on April 5th, 2009

“No one should act like the moral compass of the world. Kids of divorced or gay parents turn out any worse then those of traditional families.”

When did ANYONE on here attack Cynthia for raising her children with another lesbian? No one has made an issue of Cynthia’s sexuality, so why complain about it?

- Sam on April 5th, 2009