Sound Off! Is a Second (Or Third or Fourth) Baby Shower Typical or Tacky?

Sean Locke/Istockphoto

Last week we asked how you prepare for baby number two when you already have a child of the opposite sex at home. This week, we want to know: What’s your take on baby showers for baby number two (or beyond)? Trista Sutter is planning a mini-shower, or a “sprinkle,” for her soon-to-arrive daughter, while Alison Sweeney, Angie Harmon and Gena Lee Nolin are among celebs who recently had showers for their newest arrivals — babies number two, three and three, respectively. While no one can ever have enough baby gear, is it fair to ask friends and family to fête your little-ones-to-be multiple times?

So here’s your chance to Sound Off! Is a second (or beyond) baby shower typical or tacky?

Comments

I think it’s fine. Why not celebrate that you’re having another baby? People will probably buy your bundle of joy a gift anyhow so why not make a party out of it!

- Crystal on February 3rd, 2009

Personally, I didn’t want the shower the first time around … its wonderful to have all the support and not have to worry about the buying everything, but the being the centre of attention part didn’t jive with me. So I would say yes, showers after the first child are tacky … hopefully you can use a lot of the things you got the first time around, and chances are close friends and family will “shower” the baby with gifts, regardless of whether or not there’s a designated time and place to do so.

- j on February 3rd, 2009

I don’t think its tacky, depending on how you go about it. If you have a friend who wants to throw you a shower, then thats fantastic-go for it!!! However I have heard of some women who have organized and planned their own 2nd or 3rd etc showers, I think that is very tacky.

- Stacie on February 3rd, 2009

Do we know for sure that people like Angie Harmon and Gena Lee Nolan asked for people to bring gifts? Because I think baby showers for every child is fine, if you want to celebrate bringing a life into the world. What’s wrong with that? And maybe it’s a little tacky to ask for people to bring gifts when you’re giving birth to your third daughter, but I agree with Crystal — I think people will bring them anyhow. I know I would, because I LOVE buying baby gifts. I think the idea of calling it a “sprinkle” is the cutest thing ever. So yeah, I mean, I think it depends but I don’t think celebrating any baby’s life is tacky.

- Emily on February 3rd, 2009

I think if your well off, its not a big deal another excuse to throw a party and spend money. Or if it is your second baby and opposite sex than the first one, I think it would make sense.

- Ivey on February 3rd, 2009

I think a second shower is okay especially if the second baby is of the opposite sex of the first any thing after that seems tacky
unless it’s been several years since the second child, then it seems okay

- Christina Lieb on February 3rd, 2009

After being designated by my Sister in law as a hostess for her 4th child (!!!) I found myself asking this same question. Had we chosen to give the shower willingly it would have been a different story, but she had just had #3 baby six months prior to getting pregnant again. Not only was I “granted the pleasure” of being a hostess, I was also asked to buy decorations, bring food, buy drinks, and create and buy invitations and thank you cards. Having already given so much willingly (two weeks prior to the “hostess” issue) I felt it was INCREDIBLY tacky… And I love this woman!! I feel family and friends will gift what they can and to ask for gifts (or technically money to plan a party so that others can give you gifts) is ridiculous. Just my side and I realize situations differ but in my opinion if you can afford 4 kids, you can buy your own dang stuff!

- Hmmmmm on February 3rd, 2009

Yes, it is extremely tacky. Showers are to celebrate the woman’s entrance into motherhood and to help her acquire the items she needs to be prepared for motherhood. If you plan on having more than one child, then it is your responsibility to 1) Register for gender-neutral items, and 2) Make sure you hang onto your baby items and keep them in good condition.
It is not anyone else’s responsibility to provide you with new baby gear simply because you are having a child of the opposite gender. People will most likely always give a gift to a new baby, and there is no need to host another shower so that people feel compelled to buy things. And for those who feel that a shower is the only way of celebrating a baby, how about having a “meet the baby” gathering after the birth and when the family is settled back in at home?

- E on February 3rd, 2009

I think its tacky — especially since they have toddlers and they certainly have the means to buy things for their own kids. Of course you always get gifts when the baby is born. If they were having a “shower” and giving the gifts to a charity that would be a totally different thing! If it’s been quite a while between babies then I think a shower is okay. My boy wore pink pj’s and was just fine!

- Monica on February 3rd, 2009

I think it’s a great reason to throw a party, however … I wouldn’t have a second shower because people DO think they have to bring gifts even if they can’t afford it and then they end up kind of irritated!

- Sara on February 3rd, 2009

I hosted a shower for my sister last year before her third child was born. The first two were 6 and 8 so she needed some fresh things. Her 6 year old daughter co-hosted it with me which made it really special. Most of the gifts were clothes and things that are used up. It’s always fun to celebrate a new baby.

- Lynette on February 3rd, 2009

i think its fine. i mean, you celebrate your first baby by having a shower. you are celebrating bringing life into this world. so, having a shower for a second or third, i think, is fine.

- bobbi on February 3rd, 2009

I had a shower for my second baby. We did debate the ‘is it tacky’ question, but I thought that since the second baby was the other gender from the first, plus there was a 10 year gap in between them [so had gotten rid of much of the baby stuff], it would be okay. Oh, and I have a different spouse, too!

- Katie on February 3rd, 2009

Tacky. It looks greedy. If a close friend or relative would like to give the baby a gift… they will anyhow. Why appear as if you are asking for them?

- Sarah on February 3rd, 2009

I’m due with #2 in April and two of my best friends offered to throw a shower for me. I really don’t see anything wrong with that. I am not looking for gifts, just a fun time with girlfriends.

- Paulina on February 3rd, 2009

Anything after a first shower is tacky. Women should not go into a 2nd, 3rd, 4th pregnancy expecting it. You’ve already been “showered” for motherhood…reuse it!!!

- bunnonboard on February 3rd, 2009

My friend is a widow with a 3 year old son. She is now remarried and expecting baby 2. We are absolutely throwing them another shower because not only are they bringing new life into the world, but it’s his first shower! We are also having a big brother party for her son as this is a special time for him too!

- brannon on February 3rd, 2009

I think it’s tacky.

- paula on February 3rd, 2009

I just had my 2nd child. My mother in law insisted on throwing me a “sprinkle” at first I was like no I am totally against it is is tacky. my best friend didnt even go to my “sprinkle” she thought I shouldnt have one. It was just like a girls brunch I was thankful because it was a 5 year age difference You forget what you really need and want.

- Theresa on February 3rd, 2009

Celebrate away…! A shower can be whatever you make it. I don’t see anything tacky in celebrating the arrival of a babies… no matter what order they come in.

- Sarah on February 3rd, 2009

I’ve always looked at it as a celebration….a baby is a gift from God. Why not celebrate? I don’t expect it but if I’m given one I wouldn’t turn it down. Especially if there’s a gender difference or a major gap in age. I have a 9 year old and a 7 month old …although both are boys I had long gotten rid of my nine year old’s baby stuff. Anyways, the major stuff my husband and i bought ahead of time and when people ask me wanted I needed I said diapers(it really was a diaper shower)…so there’ always ways to add twist to it to not seem like you want someone else to foot the bill. Most of the time people don’t ask for showers, their family and friends throw them….so I don’t think it’s tacky or greedy!

- jaeden99 on February 3rd, 2009

Every child is special and try as you might people always want to help so that means gifts for the coming baby even if it’s a second or more baby. If anyone is pregnant in my family I jump up and ask for people to help me with food for the shower. I’ll provide the entertainment help me with the food. Usually I’ll ask them to bring a dish to help.

- Mandy on February 3rd, 2009

it’s typical, nothing wrong with it..

- denise on February 3rd, 2009

If the second (or third, etc) is the opposite sex or if it’s been a few years between babies, then I think it’s nice to do. I’m having my second son in May but it’s been almost 5 years since my first son was born so there are certainly things I need/want to freshen up. That being said, none of my friends have yet offered to throw me a shower and Im certainly not expecting them to.

- alexj on February 3rd, 2009

To me it really depends on the length of time in between babies. We threw a shower for my sister n law on her second child because her first was already 9 years old! That’s a long time to hold items to recycle (seats, clothes, strollers).

- Lori on February 3rd, 2009

Being British I don’t understand the baby shower tradition anyway. Here friends and family will buy presents for the new baby after he or she is born (usually clothes or teddy bears), but of their own free will – not because they’ve been asked to or sent a list! Sure, sometimes people may ask you if there’s anything you still need to buy and give you that – but the entire idea of inviting people to bring your baby a present is tacky for any baby to me! Maybe that’s just because we don’t do it here but in my opinion it’s rude to ask!

- Emma on February 3rd, 2009

Down here in the South, a lot of people think it’s tacky. I don’t particularly mind, to be honest, as long as everyone involved wants to go with the shower, or sprinkle.

I’m having a hard enough time having my first one! My SIL offered to throw me one, and has done nothing for it. So everyone I know is asking me when the shower is and I don’t know what to tell them. Everyone wants to give something but no one wants to throw a shower. Go figure.

- Robyn on February 3rd, 2009

I approve of showers for the second… or third… whatever. I just had my second child (a daughter) 7 months ago. My first born (a son) will be 4 next month. We still have all of his things, but my sister still wanted to throw me a shower.

A shower, in my opinion, is to celebrate the pending birth of a child. So I like the idea of showers. Also, my sister had the idea of having a “diaper only” shower. The only item people were asked to bring were diapers. If they wanted to bring something different, it was up to the guest. While some people decided to bring an “extra” gift of girl clothes, everyone brought diapers or wipes. I’m still using my “gifts”. It was a great way to share in my daughter’s pending birth.

- Krista on February 3rd, 2009

I think that the idea of celebrating the arrival of a baby with a shower is great, but if you have all of the baby gear already I think it best to ask for guests to make donations to a charity of your choice, instead of buying more ‘stuff’ for baby!

- kellana on February 3rd, 2009

I really think it depends on the circumstances.

Intially, I didn’t want a baby shower for my second pregnancy. The difference was that baby #1 was a boy. My second pregnancy was a twin pregnancy and I was expecting two girls. It was a lot of fun, but it was a lot more low-key than my showers were with with my son. And that’s just what I wanted.

Most of my friends are now having babies #2 and #3 and we almost always do something. Either a small-ish shower in someone’s home, or a girls-only dinner. But we always do something to celebrate the new baby. In addition, most of my friends are Jewish and is customay to bring a gift to the Bris (circumcision) or baby naming ceremony. When we did a baby naming for the twins we requested “no gifts” because people had been so generous at our shower and when they were born that we didn’t want people to think a gift was expected.

- Gingi on February 3rd, 2009

Forgot to add. . .

What I do think is tacky is huge, over the top showers for second or third babies. Babies are a gift and should be celebrated. Maybe I’m old fashioned but I think over the top is tacky when you in all likelihood have everything you need already.

- Gingi on February 3rd, 2009

Hi,

I am pregnant with my 2nd child, five years later than my 1st. With my daughter I did not have a shower, and now I am having a son. I have already had some major complications so far and baby is still holding strong so I can’t wait for a baby shower, if nothing but to celebrate the birth of my little fighter. I don’t think multiple baby showers are tacky at all as long as they are thrown or given for the right reason.

- Laura on February 3rd, 2009

If there is a large age gap between the last baby and the newest addition, then I don’t have an issue with giving/helping a shower as the mom may not have a lot of baby stuff any more. I’m not totally opposed to a sprinkle for a child of an opposite sex. I do, however, think it’s somewhat tacky to have full-on 2nd, 3rd or 4th showers for children that are the same sex or close together.

- Paige on February 3rd, 2009

I just had my 3rd and really wish I would have gotten one (only had one for the first). Not for the point of gift getting, but to celebrate the new baby! The new baby hs no control over what place in line she is born… My friend recently had her 6th – and her mom had a shower for her with EACH kid! She had a bunch of friends who didn’t come, bc it wasn’t her first (which I personally think is so rude), but I went. And no one really got her ‘gifts’, most just got her diapers, it was just to celebrate the new baby coming.

- Jessica on February 3rd, 2009

i don’t thnk it’s tacky to do more than one, because for me gets that feeling if you do one shower for the first child and not do it again for the second it’s less important… i don’t know, i think if you’re planning to have more than one child you should be able to do things equally before and after their arrival.

- camille on February 3rd, 2009

TACKY.

My friend has made a small fortune off me. Her giant bday parties, engagement party, wedding party, housewarming party, anniversary party, 1st and 2nd baby showers. Give it a rest!

- Krysta on February 3rd, 2009

I think it is fine, especially if there is an age gap or difference in gender. I have also heard of people throwing diaper showers, book showers, or other themed showers like all bath products and laundry products.

- Kristen on February 3rd, 2009

I don’t think it’s tacky at all. I think that each baby should be celebrated!!!

- Jillian on February 3rd, 2009

Jessica,

Just wanted to say that I don’t think it’s rude that people don’t come to a 3rd baby shower. When you don’t have kids yourself, it’s hard to justify going to THREE for one person. Some people can afford the extra stuff. After one baby shower, I think it’s greedy! i don’t really believe in them at all. I think it’s best to wait until the baby’s born and then see them and bring them a gift. I had a friend that lost a baby the week before the baby shower and they STILL went ahead with it, because she planned to get pregnant again. Disgusting, imo. Oh well. Like the baby will even remember it lol.

- Linda on February 3rd, 2009

i meant to say some people CANT afford the extra stuff ******

- Linda on February 3rd, 2009

I’m not a mom yet, but I think it depends on why you’re having the shower. If you have a baby shower to get new items, then I do think it’s tacky. If, however, you have a shower just to celebrate the new life but without all the presents part, then I think it’s OK.
Beside, I think it’s a bit unfair to celebrate your first baby but not celebrate the other(s)

- Aelys on February 3rd, 2009

I don’t want a second shower. I had one for my son who is 4 and I am now pg with boy/girl twins. Friends and family are telling me I need one because even though I have stuff, I have no girl clothes and I need extra things like another highchair, bouncer seat, car seat, etc. My feeling has always been if people want to buy you something they will whether you have a party or not. If they don’t then no big deal.

- Dawn on February 3rd, 2009

Here in the South, we usually do a shower for the first child and a Sip-n-see for any subsequent children. That way, people who would like to give a gift may do so (and see the new baby). Because really…it’s all about the baby anyway.

Now, there are situations where friends or co-workers really want to do something for you. Our office loves to throw parties for brides and mommies -to-be no matter what # it is. I would feel like i was insulting them not to let them throw it, but I would make gifts optional and not invite outside friends or relatives. Sometimes the shower is also about the people hosting it.

- Michelle on February 3rd, 2009

Totally tacky. Especially for the rich and famous. They should take all the gifts they get and donate to the needy. I think the only time it is acceptable is if you have over a 10 year gap between kids.
I know so many girls who initiate their second and third showers themselves and it is just wrong.
When I had my second and third girls I was far more appreciative of the MEALS I got or gift card for pedicures. It was appreciated and not over the top.

- Sassy Snell on February 3rd, 2009

I had a shower with my first..now expecting my 2nd 4 years later i wasnt expecting it but we are going to have a mini “shower” get together with some girlfriends and have dinner.

- Erika on February 3rd, 2009

Tacky. Just like wedding showers for second marriages. You can celebrate having a baby without registering for gifts and compelling friends and relatives to purchase items. (I think it is tacky as well to list where you are registered on invitations!)

- Sara on February 3rd, 2009

Personally, I think the shower and registry business has gotten completely out of control – in general, not speaking just about baby showers. I do think that if someone wants to have a little get together to celebrate a new baby – sure, why not, who is it harming? But keep it low key with the gift aspect. If it’s not low-key, then I believe it to be over the top tacky.

- madison on February 3rd, 2009

To all of those mommies who think that it’s not fair to the second and subsequent children who do not get a baby shower, for your information, having a shower is not the only way to celebrate a new baby. The point is not that the baby is not just as important and a cause for celebration, the point is that it’s tacky of people to hold a shower and expect your friends, family, etc. to buy you another present when they already bought you one for your first. Obviously if they want to that’s another matter because they can just give you a present without feeling obligated to at a shower. With my second baby I didn’t want a shower because I had a huge one with my first so I didn’t want people to feel like they had to get me another gift. People gave me gifts on their own but I certainly didn’t expect it! Also, some people may not have kids of their own so they shouldn’t be expected to spend so much money just becuase you decide to keep having kids! Sorry to sound harsh but some of you just don’t get it!

- Kim on February 3rd, 2009

Oh, this is a real heated topic in our regional area! Especially when moms have their babies real close together. I just last week received an invitation for a shower for my friend’s third baby… and her oldest child is 2 1/2. The older two are 13 months apart, and the younger two will be 12 months apart. Getting a shower invitation & gift registry list every year is really a bit much. She’s planning on a large family, so I can see these coming ever year for the next 4 more years.

I do believe that babies should be celebrated, so why not have a “Sip N’ See” party AFTER the baby has arrived so everyone can see the baby and celebrate the baby’s arrival with the baby?

If it’s really about the celebration, and not about the gifts, why not skip the gift registry and state “no gifts, please” on the invitation?

- Christina on February 3rd, 2009

If it’s been a number of years between and someone else is proposing it, I think it’s ok, but it is greedy if the mom-to-be is suggesting it or if the other children are still very young. I have the opposite situation – I’m expecting #3 and it will be a difference of 7 & 4yrs between my kids but my MIL thought we “were spending money like water” when we said WE were buying a new stroller, baby bottles and a new car seat for the baby. She thought we should buy some garage sale stuff or use the out of safety code items we got 7yrs ago at my 1st child’s baby shower. I don’t think it’s unreasonable if I’m buying the items myself!

- Cerise on February 3rd, 2009

I don’t have a problem with it. I had a big shower for my second baby (9 years between 1st and 2nd). I had a girl and needed everything. My mother planned it as a surprise shower and big brother shower for my son. For my 3rd, no shower, just gifts from generous friends (I still had everything from my daughter.) If you’re not the one planning or asking, then I say go ahead.

- Maria on February 3rd, 2009

Well I personally would not care for more then one shower or let’s say would never suggest another one to anyone. And I hate bridal and baby showers to begin with so having to go to someone’s baby shower 2 or even 3 times is not something I care to do. The only exception is if the mother is having a child and it’s been awhile since the last child was born. But if your popping out a kid ever 1-2 years there is no way I’m going along with it (esp when money is tight these days).

It falls under the whole “house warming” thing. Like am I supposed to buy a person a gift each time they decide to buy a new home and have a party??……..don’t think so!!!!

- JM on February 3rd, 2009

I think that if a friend or family member wants to throw you a shower then let them, but by no means expect them to. A friend of mine has offered to throw a second shower for me, but I told her only if the new baby is of the opposite gender. In which case we would only need clothes.

- Megan on February 3rd, 2009

I think its tacky to have a shower after baby #1. The only exception is if the children are 5+ years apart or if the family is having multiples.

Its okay to have a diaper shower, but other than that I wouldn’t attend a baby shower.

- Meggy on February 3rd, 2009

I think it depends on the family, honestly. This is just my opinion, but I think it’s tacky to see rich and famous folks have a shower when they can afford to buy the high-end quality baby items (I think it’d be better if they donated any presents they got to charity). But, for us “non-rich people”, if there is a big age gap between babies then a shower or “sprinkle” may be OK because the parents may need stuff because their other things are outdated/unsafe/broken/given away/etc., which is the position I am in currently. (I am expecting #3 any day now, and he’ll be 7 years younger than his big sister.) But there will not be a shower for this one (I never had one for either of my other 2) because I didn’t think it was necessary; a co-worker is planning a brunch-like event for folks to come see the baby after he’s born though, and it will be a celebration for him (presents will not be asked for).

- Jennie on February 3rd, 2009

I think that second (and more) showers are more for the party. I personally think that second showers should not have baby registries and all the usual trimmings unless there are unusual circumstances (like the 10 year gap). I have been to a couple of great ones that were not tacky. 1) Diaper showers are awesome. You can do a cloth diaper shower as well. 2) Pampering shower–everyone brings something (small) to pamper the soon-to-be-overwhelmed mom 3)a casserole shower–everyone brings a frozen dish or signs up to bring one after baby comes 4) a raffle shower. The raffle shower was by far the neatest thing ever. The hostesses had a huge basket of goodies (many handmade) and all the guests could buy chances to win the basket. The $$ were given to the family in a gift card. A variation of this is to use a due date calendar and buy chances based on the calendar. Other ideas are a kids book shower or a everything-handmade-shower or a shower of encouraging cards for the mom to be etc.

- wavybrains on February 3rd, 2009

I think it honestly depends on the situation. I think say someone is having there third girl or second boy thats deff. tacky but in some situations it happens. We have a good family friend who has two little girls and just found out she is having a boy and right now her husband is havig a tough time at work so we figured a shower would be of help since she has loads of girls things but no boy stuff. I also saw where someone posted that they had a shower for someone who had a baby later after having two children before, I think that would deff. be good to kind of replenish the baby items. Like I said it all depends on the situation and details.

- Kassandra on February 3rd, 2009

I think it depends on the time gap between babies. It’s tacky in my opinion to have a baby shower if the babies arent at least 2 years apart. Also, a pet peeve of mine is when people register for things for their other children as well as the new baby. I cant believe people do that but I’ve seen it happen. Very tacky!!

- Lissette on February 3rd, 2009

depends on the circumstances. But these woman who are celebrities can afford to buy all new stuff, so I am thinking if people want to give so badly, donate to a charity in the child’s name.

- didi on February 3rd, 2009

I still think it’s sort of tacky not to reuse baby things if the children are far apart. I wouldn’t call it tacky, sort of wasteful really. Maybe have like a little birthday party for the newborn and give them some new toys or something, however, not a shower. (For example, my mom gave us stuffed animals lol) But in a way, I can also see if you have children close together you may need more stuff like high chairs, strollers, and things. My mother had us stairstepped so she needed extra things. As far as I know my parents didn’t have any showers. *I’m using my parents as examples since I’m in college and therefore have no children or am married.

- Silvermouse on February 3rd, 2009

I agree with Lissette above. I did have a shower for my fourth— BUT it was a seven year span between #3 and #4 and it was my first BOY. My mother was mortified though. She thought it so tacky. But the hostess insisted so I had to smile and let them have at it.

- jill on February 3rd, 2009

I’m not a big fan of a second shower…but I think it depends on the circumstances. I have a friend that has a 4 year old boy and just had twins (boy/girl) and her sisters threw her a shower. I guess the premise was that the girl needed things and they wanted to fill in on bouncy chairs, etc. This is a couple in the early 40′s and both have great careers, so I was a bit confused as to why they were having a shower. I agree with Christina, I like the Sip N See, this way you can bring the baby a present when its born — which I always do anyways.

- SY on February 3rd, 2009

TACKY. TACKY. TACKY.

Actually, I think it’s more like GREEDY.

Maybe for the “rich and famous” it is perfectly fine, but for us “normal” people who live on budgets, I think it is asking a lot. You have a baby shower for you first child, and then guess what? You RE-USE the highchair, stroller, etc. the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. time around! God forbid!

- Lis on February 3rd, 2009

we call it a “Sprinkle” and it’s just a little lunch for friends, geared more for the mom and less for the baby. We will give a spa gift certicate, date night out, and some might bring diapers, bibs etc. But no major baby equipment.

- Heather on February 3rd, 2009

I think showers for number 1, 2, 3, heck 6 are great and happy to celebrate the children of my friends. I’m not of the mind that showers are for the reason to only get gifts and big ticket items. To me it’s a fun party. Celebrities, I’m sure like to have fun parties and ohh and ahh over all things baby, just like mere mortals and who doesn’t like a gift. It’s silly to expect them to donate to charity because they can afford to buy their own things. I like a good party. I say enjoy your shower whether it’s number 1 or number 8.

- sheba on February 3rd, 2009

I used to think it was kind of tacky, but it seems to be more acceptable now. I certainly don’t think it’s necessary and definitely should not be expected or “assigned”. It seems to make a little more sense if there is a big age difference, the new baby is a different sex, or some other “unusual” circumstance. I am expecting my 3rd child (don’t know the sex) after 2 boys. I don’t anticipate anyone throwing us a shower, but would be pleasatly surprised and graciously accept if anyone were to offer. I actually even set up an online registry, but am not “advertising” to anyone unless they ask. Mostly it helps me to keep track of the things I think I might be able to use (that are worn out or we need extras of or never had before), and I’ve even already ordered a couple of things off it myself with Christmas gift cards. And, if anyone asks (as some family members and friends have), I can direct them there, but certainly do not expect it to be “used” in the normal sense.

- Michelle on February 3rd, 2009

I don’t think it is tacky to have a 2nd shower or “sprinkle”, but when you have a 2nd baby shower and are registered for everything new when you just had a baby or can use everything you already have especially if you are having a second baby of the same sex, I think is EXTREMELY tacky. And when your registry contains new things for the 1st baby like potty training toilet on the new baby registry is VERY tacky.

Why do people have to register for all brand new things when you can use what you already have? I personally think it is waste of money, and I think we can all agree there is more beneficial ways to spend our money especially this day with the economy.

I think it would be better to have a shower or sprinkle for the 2nd baby, and instead of registering for things you don’t need, to have people donate money into a savings account for the new little one. That would be money better spent than buying a brand new swing when the one you have is perfectly fine.

- Sadye on February 3rd, 2009

I think a baby or another baby is a great reason to have a party – why not have some fun! I think when it is made into a big production or just as a way of getting gifts, then it is beginning to hone in on tacky though.

I have never asked anyone to throw a shower for me. When a friend offered to for our 3rd and then our 5th babies – I agreed as long as people knew that I was not expecting gifts, it was just a chance to get together, have some party food and enjoy socializing. If people wanted to do something – I suggested a frozen dinner in a foil pan with reheating instructions attached. Made things so much easier the first few weeks afterward to have some ready made meals on hand. Most people I knew would want to bring a meal by after anyway – this just stocked the freezer a little earlier. :0)

- JuliaS on February 3rd, 2009

Etiquette states there are rules for second (third, etc) showers:
Age gap between kids is more than 5 years (the idea is that you’ve gotten rid of everything between kids.)

Gender is different (then it’s more of a clothing shower)

People from first shower aren’t invited to second shower (if you’ve moved.)

It’s silly for people to get big items like strollers, carseats, playpens, high chairs, etc in a blatantly gender specific print for their first child. We were very careful to get these things in gender neutral prints for our oldest, and then we went all girly for our youngest when we found out she was a girl. We are only planning on having 2 children, so it didn’t hurt anything to buy her a pink daisy print Britax Boulevard (not that it would have hurt our oldest, but I was talking bucket carseats before.) It’s extremely wasteful IMO to do that with your first if you’re planning on more children, unless you don’t mind your little boy snoozing in a pink playpen.

- Rebecca on February 3rd, 2009

The showers I find tacky are those hosted by the “honoree”, otherwise a shower is to celebrate the birth of a child. The “sprinkles” given for a 2nd+ child that I’ve attended tend to be more low key unless there is a large span of age between kids. Or, they are more focused on the mom (who definitely needed the spa gift certificate with the arrival of son #3). I personally wouldn’t have a 2nd shower because I can see finding the time to write the thank you notes with 2+ little ones…

- MrsE on February 3rd, 2009

We also do not invite families to the “Sprinkle”, just the girlfriends and the mother to be’s mom and mother in law.

- Heather on February 3rd, 2009

I think “sprinkles” are great. I think any shower “planned” by the intended gift recipient are tacky…showers are a gift from your loved ones, not an expectation. And big showers should only be for your first.

My friends had a “clothing shower” for me when I was expecting my second child, a boy, after having a girl. It was a small group of friends and it was a wonderful reason to enjoy a potluck together. I have been invited to a potluck for each of them at some point, and never considered it an expense. Friends help each other prepare new phases in their lives.

- Stacy on February 3rd, 2009

I don’t think it is tacky at all. I am set to give birth to my 4th girl in March and my friends are throwing me a shower. I do not expect to get gifts but know that some will bring them. It is mainly for us girls to get together, have lunch and talk. I love being celebrated and love hanging out with my friends. We will probably decorate some letters to hang on the baby’s room wall and just be together. I don’t get what is tacky about that.

- Sara on February 3rd, 2009

PS. I totally agree with Rebecca on the gender-neutral equipment. I don’t understand the trend toward pink strollers, etc. Why would you want to buy that stuff again? I very purposefully chose neutral equipment, sleepwear, and nursery decor for my first, knowing it would be wasteful to have to buy it again!

- Stacy on February 3rd, 2009

Personally, I refused to have a second shower. For my first, I was given a traditional baby shower. For my second and third child, I just got together with a couple of my close friends and we went out to lunch together to celebrate.

- Lisa on February 3rd, 2009

I think for the most part it is tacky…with exceptions. If you have at least 5 years in between kids, it is a nice gesture, but I think a friend should throw it, not a family member. And honestly, if you have a baby of the opposite sex a year or two apart, please don’t invite me to the shower…if you can’t afford buying new clothes or a pink stroller b/c your first one was brown, then dont expect everyone else to pick up the bill.It’s an imposition on others and it is super tacky.
My sister had a boy after 7 & 9 years (both girls). I thought a shower was tacky so I held a small (immediate family) surprise brunch to celebrate with the Aunties, moms *great grandma and baby’s sisters. Celebration of a new life doesn’t EQUAL registering for gifts and implying that the gift is the point of the party!!!

- Suzanne on February 3rd, 2009

Every pregnancy and baby is special. Why shouldn’t we celebrate each and every one as unique and bring gifts to mom and baby, it’s fun for everyone. Stop being so critical of people, there’s enough in this world to fuss about and whether or not someone should have subsequent baby showers is certainly not an issue.

- Terri on February 3rd, 2009

I think it depends where you’re from. Back East, we never did it, but here in the South, we have showers for every baby. It’s a chance to celebrate and hang out and eat good food.

Tacky- yes but only if you ASK for the shower.

- Dawn on February 3rd, 2009

I think a second shower is fine IF and ONLY IF someone offers to throw you one and the people they want to invite are on board with it. It is tacky to ask if someone is going to throw you a shower for your second, third, etc child especially if they are within 3 yrs of each other. If you planned on having another child and decided to throw out all of your infant gear hoping to get all new from your family and friends, that was a bad decision and no one should be out of pocket for their mistake. The second shower should not be expected to be as grand as the first by the expectant mom either. It is a blessing just to be thrown a shower in the first place.

- Vanessa Green on February 3rd, 2009

I think it all depends on the sex of the 2,3, or 4th baby AND the amount of time between babies. In my case, if I had a 3rd, my 2 are teenagers. I have nothing left from either of them and things have changed completely since I had them…car seats, cribs, etc… I had a shower for my first and not my 2nd because my 2 were only 18 months apart and I didn’t need a lot even though my 1st was a girl and 2nd was a boy.

I think every baby deserves some celebration, honestly. Even if its a small get together and gifts are not expected…have a spa day for the new mom to be and friends.

- tink1217 on February 3rd, 2009

I think this is a question that has multiple answers based on circumstances. If a woman has a large gap (5+ years) in between kids, then I can certainly understand a second shower. In the case of expecting a different gender, I think a small sprinkle is fun. (most gifts are clothes in these cases). I also think if someone moves from out of town and they have all new friends, then a small shower is fun. I have three kids and they are all about 2 years apart. My first, a son, was born only 5 months after moving to a new state/town. I had a family shower in my hometown for him since I didn’t have many friends in my new town. My second son was born 2 years later and my close friends and I all went to dinner and they each brought me something small (mostly clothes). My third, a girl, was born two years later and three of my close friends took a group of ladies to lunch and I received lots of girly clothes. I have been to crazy big showers for multiple kids and I think it’s silly, especially when it is the SAME people at the showers. As a mom, I think the best gift for multiple kids is helping hands or meals delivered after the baby is born!

- jennifer beck on February 3rd, 2009

Here’s how I see it: It’s extremely tacky for the mother herself to plan a shower, no matter how you slice it. But if a friend or relative wants to give her a shower for her second/third/whatever child, I don’t see a problem with it.

- shannon on February 3rd, 2009

I think there are a lot of varriables that need to be considered. Did you have one shower or five showers for your first child? Is there a large age gap between the two children? Are you having multiples this time? Is there a way to gracefully decline if someone wants to give you another shower. Is the family having financial difficulties and could really use the help? I think each instance is different. I only have one child and do not know how I would react if someone wanted to throw another shower.

- Hilary Marse on February 3rd, 2009

I dont think tacky at all, I love babyshowers and I have thrown a few for my bestfriends and sister in laws, but not because I have to, but because I want to!

My sister in law has 2 girls and she had two showers, the first one was over the top and she got all the big expensive gifts and the second one was just diapers, bottles, a few clothes etc. It was a fun get together and in my family we celebrate each child.

- XOXO on February 3rd, 2009

Chill out, people. If your friends and/or family want to throw you a shower, it’s more rude/tacky to say no than to just go with it. If your people are going to give you gifts, shower or no shower, what, I ask you, is wrong with taking the time to do a registry and make sure you get what you need/want? No matter what pregnancy you’re on, you don’t want to be stuck with a bunch of junk to return in your final months, right? My family is throwing a shower for me, and I’m having a boy, with a 2 and 1/2 year old boy at home– I don’t want or need clothes or toys, and you can bet I’m doing a registry to avoid drowning in that stuff!

That said, I do not think that throwing a shower for yourself is EVER ok.

- jamie on February 3rd, 2009

I think that baby showers are for the baby and the presents are considered presents for the baby. Sure the parents use these presents for the baby, but they are for the baby. It’s kind of like a pre-birthday present in my view. I have never, ever gotten anywhere near upset about 2nd, 3rd, 4th baby showers. I just went to a baby shower for a friend who was having her 5th child. I do not understand the controversy.

- Michelle on February 3rd, 2009

TACKY!

Baby showers started as a way for a newly pregnant couple to get a few items to help them with the new baby. I think its greedy to have more than one shower, if you want unisex stuff so that you can use it with the next baby…then just specify that or don’t tell people what you are having.

It is especially TACKY to throw a shower or ‘sprinkle’ for yourself.

If friends or co-workers throw you a surprise shower then it would be gracious to enjoy yourself, but if someone offers, you should decline.

- Kelly on February 3rd, 2009

Why would people have tons of girl stuff or tons of boys stuff. Everything we registered for was gender neutral since we didn’t know the sex and if we had another baby we could re-use it. I don’t think people are thinking when they registry. They only thing people should need would be clothes and we don’t need a shower for that!

- kirsty on February 3rd, 2009

On a personal level if I am blessed with having another child then I will need another shower to help get some things. My son was born in February of 2003 and if I am blessed to get pregnant in the next year or two then that is a huge span of time between babies. Plus I would love to at least have a celebration to honor the new life I am bringing into this world (presents or no presents – just a fun time to hang out with my friends and family at least). I think before a person is judged and slammed for having multiple showers a look at her situation is necessary. Plus, why not celebrate bringing a life into the world?

- Carie on February 3rd, 2009

TACKYY!!! i hate hate hate baby showers and their registers… so greedy in my opinion….

- Mary on February 3rd, 2009

I have 5 children and have had 6 baby showers. 2 for my first baby. I think having a shower for each baby is great. I always buy the expensive things. I don’t want the people I invite to feel like they need to break their wallet buying my baby things. Nobody has complained to me. Good luck to all of you having future showers.

- Laura on February 3rd, 2009

I don’t have a problem with having showers or sprinkles or whatever you want to call it for 2nd, 3rd or 4th babies, as long as it’s someone else who throws it and it’s not coerced. Sure, you can re-use the big stuff…crib, changing table, high chair, stroller, etc…but you also always need the other stuff…bibs, onesies, diapers, etc. Even if you do have the same gender child, not all of the clothing items or blankets can be re-used. My two sons were born in two different seasons. So the first one’s heavier newborn clothes would just not work for a summer newborn. And by the time winter rolled around with the 2nd one, he had outgrown the first one’s winter snow suit. There’s no harm in having a party to celebrate a new one. And to the person who suggested having a “meet the baby” party after the birth..is that not in essence the same thing other than timing? I’ve known friends who have waited until after their first baby is born to have a “shower” so that they could get gender specific gifts (obviously back before the time when they did 6 sonograms during a pregnancy and almost everyone finds out the gender LOL). Attending a baby shower is as expensive or as inexpensive as the guest wants to make it. Most of my friends who have 2nd showers, set up registries with a wide choice of items in different price ranges. It’s up to you whether you spend a large amount or just spring for a couple packages of diapers. I personally love gift registries…this way I know that I am getting them something they need or will use.

I had 2 showers, but my two boys were born in different states. So my husband’s family threw the first one and my family threw the 2nd one. So both families got the honor of welcoming a new baby into the family.

- Carol on February 3rd, 2009

Some friends and I got together and wanted to bless our pregnant friend with a “diaper shower” to celebrating her sixth little one. Our friend was surprised and not expecting anything. We are having a Friday night hang out time and planning on talking and eating. Our friend is thrilled.
Showers are supposed to be like engagement rings… they are gifts NOT to be required or demanded.

- Susie on February 3rd, 2009

I think it is wonderful to have showers for every baby. No, I didn’t have for all of my children, only the first. But each child is a blessing and the gifts are for the new baby, not the mother. And some things you can’t reuse for each baby. There are always diapers, wipes, bibs, pacifiers, baby books, keepsakes, etc that can be bought for a new baby. So I see nothing wrong with baby showers for the nd, 3rd, 4th, whatever number. I know I will want each of my grandbabies to be to have a baby shower.

- Malania on February 3rd, 2009

Tacky…

Baby showers are for new parents so they aren’t overwhelmed by everything..like a little boost for them.

Having one for each child is beyond ridiculous. And just plain greedy..

My sister in-law had 4 baby showers for her FIRST child.. She would have had 5 but I said enough was enough.. She also has made it clear that she wants a baby shower for EACH child she has. (one so far) And it’s not to celebrate the baby, it’s for PRESENTS, PRESENTS, PRESENTS. She refuses to use the same baby items for each child..

Sure..celebrate the birth for each child… throw a BBQ for friends and family, go out for lunch with the girls but is it really necessary to request someone to throw you a shower? Celebrating something shouldn’t always mean presents.

- Auntie_to_2 on February 3rd, 2009

I have noticed a lot of people saying it is tacky to throw your self a second shower and I am of the opionion that it is tacky to throw yourself any kind of shower. But as long as it is a relitive (not your mother or mother in law) or a friend and the mother doesn’t mind I don’t see that it would be tacky.
I threw a “Sprinkle” for my cousin when she was having her second child. As a second child myself I felt that all babies should be well recieved. With the “Sprinkle” I threw there was no need to bring big expensive gifts, as she already had the big stuff. But she was very happy to get personlized gifts especially for her new little one.
My other cousin just adopted a child and I will be throwing a similar affair for her. This one will be a little different as the guest of honor will be the baby herself, but it will still be very like a shower as she will get showered with gifts especially for her.

- Sharon on February 3rd, 2009

I’m pregnant with my second child and hoping to organise something small only because with my first I had him at 32 weeks and so I missed out on that as well as antenatal classes so am planning on doing both because 1. I don’t know the sex this time round 2. I want to experience it at some point and am not prepared! LOL

- Kim from Australia on February 3rd, 2009

I think it appropriate to celebrate a new baby with a shower, no matter what order he or she happens to fall in the family. These are memories for the mother and will be keepsakes for the baby. I’ve actually never thought twice about it. It’s not selfish because you don’t throw them for yourself. Someone else throws them to honor the baby. All the cards and gifts are documented in my children’s scrapbooks and the older ones love to take theirs out and see how everyone made such a fuss over them. I have to wonder if it is truly the expense that is bothering people. I don’t think $20 or $30 is much to spend for a loved one. My sister in law is having her 3rd and I wouldn’t dream of not giving her a shower.

- melania on February 3rd, 2009

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, provided you don’t provide a huge registry. Actually, I’m not really pro-registry to begin with. I think a little, informal celebration is wonderful for every pregnancy. Myself, I wasn’t given a second shower (or sprinkle, cute name!), no biggie.
What I find TRUELY tacky are those floating showers. Basically they’re just invitations to drop off your gift and leave. Say what?!

- MammaDucky on February 3rd, 2009

i dont think its tacky… I think its a great way for your friends and family to get together and have fun, its a joyful occasion and if you 1 or 5 kids, there all equally special and you should have a shower for each. Not only that but most times, by the second or third child comes around, the stuff from previous kids is out of style or worn out and its nice to receive new things.

- lilly on February 3rd, 2009

I don’t think it’s ‘tacky’ but I think a second/third etc shower could be approached differently, e.g. maybe a party for the first child, a party that involves the entire family, throw it for first time mum’s to be instead – teach them what you’ve learnt. I never had a first baby shower, won’t be having a second either.

- tracey on February 3rd, 2009

A shower is a celebration of the pregnancy and baby, not just an excuse to ask for gifts. I think each pregnancy should have a party because as soon as that baby arrives, not too many new moms are going to have the energy have a party. It also gives friends and family an opportunity to see the pregnant mama.

If there’s a lot of space between kids or if you have different gendered kids, it’s so helpful to receive gifts but it’s not necessary.

- Danielle on February 3rd, 2009

I’ve only ever been to three baby showers and two were for the same friend, so she’s the main experience I go on. She had two children very close together (exactly 11 months apart), both were accidents, and she definitely did not have the money to buy all that she needed. She also had one of each gender, and as the age gap was so small, sharing things between the babies was very difficult. She had a shower for each, but the second one was more a Tupperware Party/baby shower, whereas the first was solely a baby shower. I went to both as did most of her family, but little of our friends went to the first, and only myself and one other went to the second (this was more a result of where she lives – far away from her friends due to money constraints – as it was to do with feelings of tackiness and/or just general lack of interest on the part of our friends, seeing as we are in our early 20s and most are not interested in babies yet). I also took a present to both, one for mummy and baby, and at the second, one for the first baby too. A part of me felt that she was being tacky but ultimately, I would not have missed out on the baby shower simply because of ruffled etiquette. In my eyes, it was an opportunity to see my friend, celebrate her baby, and also spend time with her daughter (whom I adore). Moreover, I would have gifted her with presents for the baby irrespective of whether she’d had the baby shower or not, so it didn’t really change anything for me (as a matter of fact I gave her another present when her son was born and then when he turned a month old as it falls the same day as his sister’s birthday). I can understand why people would think it was tacky but she put the entire thing on by herself (her twin sister did not help, much to my disappointment) including food, decorations etc. Furthermore, given her situation, I was more than happy to help her out with baby things especially given that she was having a baby of the opposite gender. I think personally, that it depends on the person, their situation, and how they approach it. Some people think its their right to demand presents. My friend never did that; she only gave us the opportunity to spend time with her and celebrate her impending motherhood and I would not have missed it for the world!

- Ratty on February 3rd, 2009

i just did a big baby shower for my first child about 7 weeks before i was due to give birth, and did all the fun typical games and stuff, by the time i had my 2nd child one of my friends organized a lovely quite relaxing morning tea for me and my family 2 weeks after i had my son.
i don’t find it “tacky” to have multiple baby showers for each child , as it isn’t all about receiving gifts, but getting together with the people you love, and celebrate the new addition to your family. whether or not you have a baby shower , people are still going to give you gifts.
and it is fun to be around everyone.

- Elsie on February 3rd, 2009

Whether it is your 1st or 5th shower, it is NEVER polite to outright ask someone to host it. However, I was raised that it is also not polite to tell people what to do, such as saying “no gifts” on an invitation or telling someone not to host a party for you if that is what they really want to do. I guess if the idea of a party made you really uncomfortable for some reason it would be OK to decline (like there has been a death in the family recently, etc) but in general why not let people celebrate such a happy occasion with you? I am confused why people would think celebrating a new life would be greedy, registries are merely suggestions and haven’t we all brought gifts to a party that were not on a registry? I have been to many showers and have given gifts that ranged from $10 to well over $100 depending on how close I was to the mother and my current finances. And if you are really strapped for cash, you could give a card and offer to babysit in the future or simply decline the inviation – just because you are strapped for cash doesn’t mean it was rude for the person to have the shower! I think it is sad people are so focused inward these days on themselves and their circumstances, that they can’t take the time to appreciate and celebrate the happy occasions of their family and friends. Personally, I wouldn’t begrudge a shower for babies less than 2 years apart, but I also wouldn’t run out and buy a playpen or stroller the second time around because it is unecessary.

- mommagirl on February 3rd, 2009

It depends…
If you are having another child, unplanned, many years after your last child, then, yeah, it is okay to have the full out big bash like you have for your first.
If you are having #2 and it is a different gender than your first, having a smaller more modest gathering is good.
If you are having another one, you have a child of the same gender already, having a “Diaper Party” is okay.

If my next child is another boy, I want to do a diaper party for him. It’s just a social get together, with the “price of admission” is a pack of diapers. lol.

- LaurenH on February 3rd, 2009

Oh, and I LOVE the “diaper shower” idea someone here mentioned, especially if the babies are less than 5 years apart! That is the thing second time moms need most, anyway. People can always bring whatever gifts they want, but I bet most would bring the diapers. I love giving a gift that I know will actually be used!

- mommagirl on February 3rd, 2009

I think it depends. My cousin recently had a baby ,Her older kids are 16 and 14 so she had already given everything away years before. So after 14 years she needed baby items. However I know a girl who is pregnant with her second daughter .The first one just barely turned a year and she is throwing herself a shower a big one. Which I think is tacky. Now I had a baby shower with my first child which was a girl and my 3rd which was our first boy. my mother in law had a little get together for our 4th but only because my mom had just passed and I was a little depressed. ……I did go to a baby shower once where we were asked to bring our items that we had used for our babies and didnt need anymore. And let me tell you the mother to be ended up with SOOOO much and very cute. She was set. I think she recieved more because there was really no cost for anyone.

- Stephanie on February 3rd, 2009

It is never ok to throw YOURSELF a shower. As for celebrating the baby’s life – that’s called birthday parties! IF, a friend wants to throw you a party because the sex of your baby is different, then fine, graciously accept (as long as she herself has a clue about manners). Has nobody heard of Ms. Manners?

- Lisa on February 3rd, 2009

Completely tacky and greedy. Doesn’t matter the sex or gap in ages of children. The first baby shower is a gesture of kindness and symbolism. After that, take care of your own needs and most folks will give you a baby gift of their own free will and not feel the awkward obligation of a baby shower when they’re thinking it’s obnoxious! I LOATHE second (and third and fourth) showers and grew up in the North and now live in the South (US).

- '''usa on February 3rd, 2009

I have a boy and girl, born 2 years apart. I preface this by saying I have major shower issues.

First, registering for big ticket items, such as cribs, baby furniture, etc. gets my goat. You as the parent are responsible for literally giving your baby a place to sleep. I understand if grandparents want to get involved and buy things like cribs or furniture or whatnot but to LIST what you want just seems to be the height or rudeness to me.

My husband and I furnished our nursery. My “registry” consisted of informing people of what crib bedding I had selected–BUT ALREADY PURCHASED MYSELF–so folks could see what it looked like. It was light green gingham and had little bears and bunnies on it. We had painted the walls of our nursery light yellow and put up a border that matched the bedding. For my shower invitations, my girlfriend bought a couple rolls of the border and used it to make the invitations. Thanks to that clever idea, we got some of the most beautiful things for the baby, hand made with love. Knowing the color scheme and the fact that we weren’t finding out the sex, friends made gorgeous blankets, fabric wall hangings, quilts, hand painted art, etc. in our nursery colors.

For my daughter we found out the sex because I figured if I needed to buy anything, I might as well know what color to get. My girlfriends gave me a surprise sprinkle at what was supposedly a birthday brunch for one of them. Since I already had all the nursery gear, stroller, carseat, etc. and had already “femmed” up the nursery by removing the bears and bunnies and changing it out for pastel pink and lilac butterflies, I got girly colored items like new crib sheets in more feminine colors and girl clothes.

- TigMode on February 4th, 2009

Personally, I don’t see a problem with someone wanting to gather their friends and family together to celebrate this new life that’s about to come into the world, but I think the necessity of subsequent baby showers depends on the amount of time between children, if the parents gave away all their baby stuff from before (maybe thinking they were done having kids) or if the next baby is a different gender.

- Nina on February 4th, 2009

E – I completely agree with you.

Lots of foreigners like me never have ‘baby showers’ before the baby is born.Most believe it is tacky and bad luck (especially with the older generations).

We always have a “meet the baby” celebration when the baby is born, normally at 21 days old.This is done for ALL children.

A child is a blessing and each life should be celebrated.I think though that people get really greedy with these baby showers.To them it is all about the presents and registry etc and not the beautiful life that has been created.

- Aya on February 4th, 2009

This entire “tacky” code some of you got going on is ridiculous!! My sister had a 2nd shower 15 years after her first & there was NOTHING “tacky” about it. Now your mother or mother in law can’t throw you one? Why not? That’s crazy! There are so many variables when 2nd, 3rd children come along & baby showers that you can’t just make one broad statement about it.

Everyone from my sister’s first shower was either dead or had moved. The friends she has now were so excited for the shower & she couldn’t wait to share it with them. These people were not even around for her first baby. So that makes her tacky somehow?

If you move, get a new family, or set of friends you should be able to celebrate a baby shower w/ them w/o being attacked. Remember it’s a free country nobody is forcing you to buy a gift or attend the shower if you don’t want to. Just say NO & let the Mom-To-Be enjoy her day.

- Q on February 4th, 2009

Babies are wonderful additions to anyones family, but I feel that more than one shower is tacky. I have a friend pregnant with her second child, she already has a boy and is expecting a girl. She said that she needs a second shower because there is so much more that she needs. I was surprised with her statement, commented that I thought one was enough. She laughed.

- Anna on February 4th, 2009

I am pregnant with my second child, another little boy and my babies will be 2 years apart.

TigMode – I totally agree with you on furniture on the registery! Give me a break, I can’t believe it when I see those kinds of things on peoples lists!

AFM, For my first son (a surprise) i had a HUGE shower thrown by my mother and aunt. I was smart enough to get all non-gender specific items so for my second pregnancy, a boy – it makes no difference.

In our community, no one does a 2nd or 3rd baby shower but everyone does a “sip and see” after the baby is born (for every child). In my case, If one of my friends were to offer a sprinkle then that would be sweet but I am not expecting or asking.

Though I think really large 2nd and 3rd showers are tacky, I don’t see anything wrong with friends getting together to celebrate the new addition to the family!

- D on February 4th, 2009

A second shower and so on are not tacky! The shower is for the baby, not the mother. It’s an oppertunity to celebrate a new life with the people that you love. To all of you who sit and say that this is tacky & that you should just use the things you had from the first one, I am so glad that you could save your things. With the economy the way it is people might need the extra money from selling their gently used baby items that are only collecting dust in a closet! I have one little girl who had a beautiful shower and I think it is only fair that my other (future) children are given the same attention!

- Rachel on February 4th, 2009

We don’t really have baby showers that much in the UK so tbh, the whole concept is somewhat tacky to me, people shouldn’t feel as though they have to give presents at all!

- Alex on February 4th, 2009

I think it depends on the situation. I am a single mother of an 11 year old, never married. I do hope that someday when I do get married, and have another baby, I will have another shower thrown for me. Not only will I need everything related to baby all over again, but there are so many new and essential things now that weren’t even around 1st go. I think if the babies are back-to-back – it’s a little tacky. But, with a huge gap, it’s basically a must.

- Brandi on February 4th, 2009

A baby shower is for a new mother, an opportunity for her to be feted by friends and to receive some of the things she will need for a new baby. After the first child, I think another party is a bit much. It should be up to the person whether or not they would like to give a gift, which in a lot of situations, people would buy a gift. Since the etiquette rules have been suspended for baby showers, they have become parties, rather than a celebration for a new baby and they have gone too far. I’ve known of baby showers being held in a bar. I don’t think people are aware of etiquette rules and just make it up as they go along. Another peeve of mine is when a relative hosts a shower for you. I know they mean well, but, just because your sister or cousin or daughter-in-law is having a baby but should’t obligate you to host a party. Especially when it’s a 2nd or 3rd baby.

- willma on February 4th, 2009

I can’t believe that some people are saying you should re-use the gear from your first baby even if there is a big age gap between babies. First of all, a lot of people that have their second baby several years after their first (which I define as anywhere from a five-year age gap on up) have given away their stuff from the first baby (especially if the age gap is really big, such as 10 years or more).

Second of all, it isn’t even safe to re-use some old baby items! For example, re-using a ten-year-old carseat, or even a five-year-old one for that matter, would be very unsafe (especially in the case of a ten-year-old carseat)! I mean, be honest. Would you use the baby gear YOU used as a baby on your own baby (in fact, my own mother had to decline my grandmother’s offer of the use of my dad’s old crib. After actually looking at the crib herself and seeing the awful shape it was in, my grandmother actually ended up apologizing!)? Probably not! Same goes for re-using the gear your ten-year-old used as a baby with your new baby, or expecting someone else to.

- CelebBabyLover on February 5th, 2009

I don’t have any kids…I’m only 24.

I see NO problem with someone having more than one baby shower. What if you have a girl your first pregnancy? Everything can’t be handed down for a boy!

I think it’s tacky to think it’s tacky. I love baby showers!

- ericka on February 5th, 2009

I think it is tacky. The economy is in trouble and it is over spending in our lives that got us here. Furthermore, what is wrong with the stuff from the first or second baby? Especially, only 1-5 years later? Our parents used old items. I have friends that are having 2 and 3 showers and I just deal with it. I won’t have one.

- Kadi on February 5th, 2009

I think asking anyone for anything is tacky and greedy.

I feel the same be it a shower, graduation party, wedding registry, honeymoon registry, bridal shower, etc.

It is one thing if someone wants to throw a party for you, but it is those that throw these events for themselves that irritate me. It is usually these same people (or their families) that do not return the favor for the other families, too.

- Jenna on February 5th, 2009

Another thing… don’t ask for gifts if you want to do something, just bring a few of your best friends out to lunch and let it be YOUR treat. They probably all will get you gifts and be happy you didn’t ask.

- Mary on February 5th, 2009

And also…. Jenna I agree the greediest people aren’t generous too!

- Mary on February 5th, 2009

In real life it depends on how far apart the kids are, come on who saves their baby stuff for 10 years. However if the kids are close it is tacky and I refuse to go! It’s ok to offer a gift for a new baby, but not a full blown shower.

- DAnne on February 5th, 2009

I think it is acceptable for a small shower if you know the sex of your new baby will be different than the ONE you currently have. Otherwise, I think it is tacky and fiscally irresponsible to expect other people to supply you with what you need for a baby. I have a stepson who told me that they specifically expected all their friends and family to supply them with everything they needed. I was quite insulted and deeply resented that kind of an attitude. Gifts and showers (of any kind) are optional.

- R Storm on February 5th, 2009

I think its a great idea to have a “sprinkle” for every child you give birth too.If its only done for your first child what are we saying about the rest of the persons children? because of their birth order they dont deserve a party celebrating their entrance into the world.If people feel its tacky then don’t attend! Let the people who want to go Go!!!Nobody should feel funny about having a second “sprinkle” like a lot of the other blogger’s said most of us would buy a baby gift anyway why not have a party too.

- Jennie on February 6th, 2009

Having a shower for each baby is totally appropriate! It’s not about recieving gifts, but about the welcoming and celebration of another special life How can that be denied

- L.J. on February 8th, 2009

I grew up in the South and my mother’s generation always considered a shower after baby number one to be tacky and totally unacceptable (and greedy.) But, times have changed. I would also like to point out that the expectant mother NEVER hosted the shower…I mean NEVER. Someone else (a close friend or distant relative) always hosted the shower. Now, in my generation, we have showers for each and every baby so that each birth is celebrated. But, even in this modern generation where I come from, it is still considered tacky for the expectant mother to host (or ASK someone to host) a shower…it’s always done by a friend, coworker or distant relative who really wants to do it. My daughter was appalled when a coworker demanded that she host a baby shower for her just because my daughter had the financial means to do so. My daughter probably would have hosted one without being prompted, but was mortified at the nerve of this woman to demand that she host it; then the woman told her what to serve and told her to get the word out exactly what gifts she wanted and what she DIDN’T want. My daughter was flabbergasted. She gave her a beautiful shower anyway (my daughter is very generous) but drew the line when she was asked to throw proper etiquette out the door! She didn’t do anything past telling the guests where the expectant mother was registered and serving some of the mother’s favorite foods. The ungrateful mother complained when my daughter didn’t have everything she asked for and didn’t send out one single “thank you” after the shower. Go figure some people.

- SouthernBelle on February 9th, 2009

Of course each baby deserves a shower!You are celebrating a new life, who probably is going to need new things- children of different sexes need different items, things wear out, etc. I would give a baby gift to a friend even if it were her tenth child- each one is just as special. Why should only the first child have the “shower” page in the baby book filled out?

- Eva Kryzanowski on February 11th, 2009

Tacky, It’s not fair to ask family and friends to shower you w/ stuff all the time. I mean, the kids are gonna have birthdays, and Christmases and plenty of other times when people will feel the need to buy something. Stuff from a baby shower only gets you through the first couple months or year of the child’s life. It’s best to look at the big picture…and that is, if you can’t see yourself being financially capable of providing those kinds of things you may need, you really should not have more.

- Mary Jo Parsons on February 21st, 2010