Sound Off! How Do You Prepare for a Second Child of the Opposite Sex?

Seth Browarnik/Startraks; George Napolitano/FilmMagic

It’s a dilemma many second-time parents face: With a child of one sex already in the family, how do you prepare for a second child of the opposite sex? As we all know, baby gear is pricey, and there’s a limit to how many items you want to buy all over again in a more masculine or feminine style or color. Trista and Ryan Sutter, parents to 18-month-old son Max Alston, are preparing for their new baby girl with a “sprinkle” (a mini-shower) while Gilbert Gottfried and wife Dara are readying themselves for their new baby boy (the pair is already parents to daughter Lily Aster, 19 months) by reusing many of their daughter’s items, adding some blue bedding and accessories into the mix.

So here’s your chance to Sound Off! How did you prepare for your second child of the opposite sex?

Comments

Our 2nd pregnancy was a very welcomed surprise, since the 1st pregnancy was a HUGE suprise:) Neither my husband, nor I, have twins in our family. So, when they told us we were having twins, we both nearly passed out. We were informed we were habving a boy/girl set, but upon delivery we had 2 little ladies:) I was thrilled but scared, I knew nothing about girls…I am 100% tomboy:) Then we got the news that we were pregnant again, I wondered who this person was going to be. I wasn’t taking any ones word this time, I would have to meet our baby 1st. When he was delivered I was so scared I would have no idea what to do with this little man because all I know now is little girls.
Needless to say, all is well in this full little house of chaos. Our barely 3 year twin ladies love their 7 month old little brother and no prep could prepare me for any of this….its just pure love!!!!

- Mama on January 27th, 2009

My husband and I are not expected our second at this time, but we purchased all of our gear in neutral colors so we would not have buy that all over again. Outside of buying clothes and bedding everything else should go. Even the bottles, sippy cups, and infant toys were gender neutral.

- Tiffany on January 27th, 2009

We have a boy and are expecting boy/girl twins. We have a few neutral clothing items like socks, bibs and onesies, and of course, the toys are alright. For the boy we are kinda set but we need girl stuff. It’s hard to get into the mindset of “hey I’m shopping for a girl” when you’ve been buying for a boy for the past few years!

- Dawn on January 27th, 2009

The hubby and I are just now trying for # 2 and considering that my little guy is 6, we have nothing left from when he was little except for a few outfits and keep sakes I kept for his baby box. So I get to start from scratch all over again. (which isn’t very friendly to my pocketbook). I’ll probably buy everything neutral though incase we change our mind later and decided we also want a third.

- Tiffany O on January 27th, 2009

I’ve never dealt with the situation, since I have two boys, but when pregnant both times, I focused on gender neutral items, since I waited until the delivery to find out the sex.

My aunt, on the otherhand, is dealing with this now. Two years ago, she had a little girl and when it came time to buy for the baby, she went on a bit of a pink overload. Everything, including the stroller and car seat was either pink or covered in florals. She’s now expecting a son in June so, in many ways, she had to start buying again from scratch.

- Lily on January 27th, 2009

I think it all comes down to money. When my baby brother was born in the 70s, he ended up wearing a lot of my hand-me-downs (in pink), but I ended up wearing a lot of my male cousin’s hand-me-downs because he was born four months before me.

I am having a boy, but thought I was having a girl. My brother and his wife just had a boy last fall and I was prepared to put my baby in blue (had it been a girl) because they are just clothes after all and they do not stay clean.

If we are ever blessed with a second child of the opposite sex, I would have no reservations in putting her in boy’s clothes and reusing the nursery scheme.

I think people place too much importance on keeping up with the Benjamins and waste money foolishly. There is nothing wrong with pampering your child, but especially in this trying economy, people need to learn to live within their means.

- Jenna Gennaro on January 27th, 2009

Ha! After a 3 and 2 year old boy, I have nothing but blue! 6 weeks from now, we will have a little girl and I will admit that we have gone a bit nutty with the pink, but this will be our last one, so I don’t feel as guilty!

- Liza on January 27th, 2009

Not a fan of sprinkle showers or 2nd showers in general

- Megan on January 27th, 2009

My husband and I conceived our first son after 8 years of TTC, via IVF. Imagine our surprise when we found out that we were expecting twins, who were naturally conceived, soon after our little boy turned 1!

We were told that the sexes of our fraternal twins were both girls. I was so excited that I bought everything pink! I went totally crazy. My sister helped out too, as she has a lot of neutral stuff that she used for her two girls and son.

We were totally thrown through a loop when I gave birth to two beautiful baby BOYS in December! We are using their brothers things now, but hopefully we have a little girl in the future so that we can use all of the beautiful pink clothes that are now in storage.

- Charlotte on January 27th, 2009

Since we didn’t find out what we were having with our first child, we received a lot of green/yellow newborn things. The nursery was done in green, too. We had a little girl and when people gave us gifts at birth,they were girly. Our second was a boy and we reused all of the neutral items and again, when folks gave us gifts, they were for a boy. I would buy coats and things like that in neutral colors to be reused. Numbers 3 & 4 were boys so we just kept passing things down and we got lots of hand-me-downs.
Thinking we were done with 4, number 5 was a wonderful surprise and was another little girl. I had gotten rid of all our baby girl things thinking there would never be another little girl. I still had onesies and stuff from #4. But I had a wonderful friend who surprised me with a shower and we got lots of little girly things and this same friends gives us all of her daughter’s hand-me-downs.

- Kate on January 27th, 2009

For infant stuff, for my daughter, most of her things were gendre-neutral (not because we were expecting to have a boy at some stage, simply because of personal taste) … so we’re covered.

- j on January 27th, 2009

Simple. I primarily stuck to gender neutral gear.

#1 and #2 are girls. So I didn’t even have to buy clothes. #3 is still in production, boy. Mainly I’ve just had to stock up on the boy clothes. (and I’ve done that cheaply through ebay!) We did have to get a new bouncer because that was the one item I had that wasn’t gender neutral.

- Dakota on January 27th, 2009

There is no reason to spend a fortune on babies. There are a lot of bargains out there without some fancy expensive name on them. WalMart has a lot of reasonably priced baby stuff along with other cheaper stores. Babies grow up fast so why waste a lot of money just to appease the high priced stores for the rich and famous. Recession is here-spend wisely.

- Anne on January 27th, 2009

I’m with Anne on that point – it’s not about the prize of the clothes in the end. Also, I never liked that strict distinguishing between girls and boys clothes. So whta your daughter wears light blue? I’m a woman and I’d wear that color too (I have to admit though that I probably would not dress my son in pink). Anyway: There are more colors than light blue and pink. Try yellow, light green, organe, apricot, white, beige whatever…

- Annika on January 27th, 2009

When we adopted our first child a little girl from China my husband and I didn’t go all out on pink frilly girl things. The nursery was done in a sunny orange and we bought alot of things that could be used for either sex and we planned this because we knew that we hoped to adopt more chilren and there was no use in buying even more new things for the next child when this one would only be using some of the things for a short time. All strollers, carseats, highchairs, bedding, and blankets were all bought gender neutral. So when we adopted our son a few years later we didn’t have to spend all the money we did the first time. We never redid the nursery instead we let our daughter who was 5 help design her new big girl room which helped with the transition and with jealousy. To her she wasn’t losing her old room she was gaining a new one that was just for her. Initially having a baby is expensive, but if you make smart purchases of quality items they can be used again and again cutting down the cost of any other children.

- Sonia on January 27th, 2009

we have a 14 month old son and are expecting a daughter in may 09. i think with our boy we went a little crazy with the clothes and toys, this time we’re a little more laid back and have only, so far, bought the things we know she’ll need (since it’ll be a different season when she arrives). our toys are gender neutral-ish, girls like trucks too! but we’ll cross that road when it comes.

- tracey on January 27th, 2009

It’s a good “problem” to have! Anyone that made a point that they felt bad I had to buy some new things was clearly jealous. It’s so much fun to shop for the opposite sex. Having one of each is a true blessing.

- Jess on January 27th, 2009

When I was pregnant with our first, my husband and I decided to buy gender-neutral items. It made more financial sense doing that since we were sure we wanted another child and baby items are not cheap. Our first was a boy, the second a girl and we just found out we’re expecting again.

- Nylah on January 27th, 2009

My first child is a boy. I was lucky as I have two friends with little boys that are a little less than a year older than mine. They kept me in hand-me-downs until my son caught up in size to their boys. We are having a little girl in a couple of weeks. We bought many new things but I also have a neighbor whose first was a girl and is expecting a boy so we are swapping clothing. It is fun to recycling clothing. I love hand-me-downs! I actually didn’t have a shower for my first child since we had moved to a town without friends or family. I wasn’t aware people had showers for a second child.

- MIzMolly on January 27th, 2009

My husband and I are currently expected #2 and we couldn’t be mroe happy to find out that the baby was a boy. We have a 18 month old daughter. Deep down inside I thought it would be wonderful for my daughter to have a sister, but when we found out it was a boy, it made perfect sense. I went crazy for shopping with my daughter and I have done the same with my son. I can’t wait.

- Betty on January 27th, 2009

I always give my expecting friends and relatives gender-neutral clothes and toys so if they have another child of the opposite gender they can re-use the stuff. Sure helps save money and the environment when one is able to re-use baby and toddler stuff!

- DLR in Canada on January 27th, 2009

We’re expecting our second, and have saved everything from our daughter’s babydom. If we have a boy, a friend who is also pregnant with a second (she knows she’s having a girl this time, but had a boy first) and I are going to trade everything we have. If we have a girl, then I’ll lend my stuff to my friend, then get it all back in 6 month increments as her daughter grows out of them. Even if not everything comes back (or comes back perfect) it still saves a BOATLOAD of money on outfits.
Also – often, when a second child is born, who is a different gender, people do offer gifts of outfits to help out. I don’t believe in second showers, but receiving gifts is always a nice little bonus (for which everyone gets a thank you note of course)

Finally – there’s nothing wrong with a girl infant just a few weeks old wearing blue soccer jammies, or a boy infant wearing pink lacy stuff. All it takes is one comment from a stranger to make someone feel selfconscious, but really – who CARES… not the baby!

- Mrs. R. on January 27th, 2009

Our son is 3 and our twin girls are 2 months. We saved lots from our son. We had mostly brown everything so it is good for either gender.

- Mimi on January 27th, 2009

First child was a girl (didn’t tell people ahead of time to avoid the orgy of pink) – she only expressed a desire for pink/purple/”girly” things at around 3. We humour her sometimes, but tend to still buy gender neutral coats/boots/socks. Our second is a boy and as a rule of thumb, he has worn all her old sleepers (pink too) and been wrapped in flowery blankets with no complaint on his part. We lean towards more boyish clothes when we buy anything new (he is now 1).

- Cat on January 27th, 2009

After having 3 wonderful girls, we found out we were expecting our little boy. It was quite a shock, since we didn’t think we made boys After our youngest daughter-5 outgrew things, we had given everything away so we really had to start from scratch anyway. Which allowed me to spend 9 months shopping at thrift stores and consignment stores and yard sales to restock for our little boy. With this economy, I vowed to only shop in those kind of stores to save money. I was able to stock up on everything we needed for him, and he arrived 2 weeks ago. He has beautiful clothes and items, all used.

- Kristen on January 28th, 2009

I have 2 girls, but I made a point of getting all the big ticket items in gender neutral patterns. I laugh when I see the pack and play, high chair, bouncer, swing combos is matching prints that are so obviously boy or girl. I just think, what happens if you have the opposite sex next? Are you going to go out and buy a whole new set?

We didn’t do the whole nursery thing (we cosleep, talk about a money saver!) but the whole decked out girly stroller, girly carseat, etc just seemed stupid to me. We have a Britax Boulevard in the pink flowers print for my 15 month old, but we bought that when she was 3 months old. We had used a girly print Cosco Scenera before that. My dh asked what we’d do if she turned out to be a he, and I said, “Guess he’s going to have a pink carseat for awhile!”

- Rebecca on January 28th, 2009

I had 3 girls before we finally had our son. And let me tell you, with all that estrogen and pink for all those years, everything we bought for our son was blue, blue, blue. But
if you have swings, highchairs etc. that are neutral then I would just use that again especially in this economy.

- Lynn on January 28th, 2009

The issue with buying gender neutral clothing is that there isn’t a heck of a lot of it! I’m shopping right now for a friend who isn’t finding out and I am finding it really difficult to find things that aren’t totally feminine and pink or totally “rough and tough” masculine. Sure, you can say a girl can wear blue but if there are trucks or tools on it and masculine detailing, it’s not really gender neutral. Higher end lines tend to offer slightly more neutral items, but I have yet to find much beige or apricot at Target or H&M or Old Navy.

- Danielle on January 30th, 2009

With 3 girls in the house we have boxes and boxes full of pink,flowery cloths!
With my first dd I got natural,whit,cream ,yellow babycloths as I invested in future babys,all the pink things are mainly from the UK(thats where the Grandparents are from).
I think there is more natural colours in Switzerland(thats where Im from)and less in the UK.
I love all girly things so pink is very welcome to me,but I make sure they can choos as well and that I get things which realy suits them.
If we have a boy in the future,we will to get some more cloths for later on.

- LadyKitty on February 1st, 2009

Baby #1 was a boy, and being that he was the first grandchild on either side of the family, the grandmas went crazy buying stuff for him so we had lots of boy things (lots of blue everywhere) but there was also some gender-neutral stuff too. Baby #2 was a girl so, besides the fact that we needed to replace some stuff because it’d been 4 years, we needed to get some girly things too (you gotta have the pink), but we did reuse a lot of the stuff from my son since there is nothing wrong with girls wearing blue! Baby #3 is due anytime now & it’s another boy, so we’re going back to boy things…but since it’s been 7 years since my last baby we have to replace almost everything anyway so it’s been fun shopping for him!

- Jennie on February 3rd, 2009