India Hicks Feels 'No Shame' For Hiring Nanny

Courtesy Cookie

For Top Design host India Hicks part of living the good life on a small Bahamian island means indulging in a nanny and a housekeeper, and the 41-year-old mom-of-four offers up no apologies! “I have lots of help, and I feel no shame about it,” she explains in the February cover story for Cookie magazine. “My kids come to me first…If that changed, I’d realize something was wrong.” To that end, despite her numerous professional responsibilities, India balances her day “very carefully” so that when she’s with sons Felix Austen, 11 ½, Amory John, 9 ½, Conrad Lorenzo, 5 ½ and daughter Domino Carmen, 13 months, they have “the most loving time.”

Admitting that she “spoil[s] them much more than” she herself was spoiled, India describes her parenting style as “very lenient.” It’s not all fun and games, however. For the last few years, Felix and Amory have attended boarding school in England – leaving India, 41, in tatters. “I miss them unbearably,” she says. “It’s a physical pain…I hop on and off that plane to London like it’s a bus.” The difficult decision was reached because “there’s a point where you outgrow an island education,” she explains. “Especially boys, who need to be socialized and have laboratories, art departments, and playing fields.” Their time spent abroad has made return trips to the island all the more special, says India.

“The time I have with my children when they’re home on holiday is the perfect honeymoon. And the wonderful thing is, I get to have that honeymoon again and again and again.”

Domino is doing her best to break up the boy-centric vibe that prevails in their island home, even with Felix and Amory’s departure. “There’s a lot of testosterone flowing…our whole house is geared to boys, so its’ surprising to see little specks of pink,” she reveals. “David keeps looking at her and saying, ‘What’s that boy doing in a girl’s dress?’”

Each of the children are India’s with longtime partner David Flint Wood.

Source: Cookie

Comments

Domino is adorable!! She recently had a christening and she looked so picture perfect. I read Domino’s quite a determined little one who knows what she wants. I didn’t realise Felix and Amory were in boarding school though.

Thanks for posting this up CBB!

- gizmogirl25 on January 15th, 2009

I just don’t understand how parents can ship their kids away for school. If education is that bad on the island then I would move to where it’s better and I can still be with my kids. Only my opinion, but I could never do it.

- Sara on January 15th, 2009

Beautiful family.

But what the heck? “Especially boys, who need to be socialized and have laboratories, art departments, and playing fields.”?! How extremely narrow minded they seem when it comes to gender.

- Hea on January 15th, 2009

I for one would feel very guilty sending my kids to boarding school. I have a 10 year old son and couldn’t imaging not seeing him every day or every week. If she thinks they need better school then maybe she should move off the island and to England until her children are grown.

- felys on January 15th, 2009

What a lovely picture, they all look so happy xx

- Laura on January 15th, 2009

I myself, live quite a privledged life, in a country other than my own. However, as much as I hate to come across judgemental towards India, I couldn’t imagine shipping my sons off to boarding school. If it came to the point where I wasn’t happy with my son’s education, I would pack my bags & take the whole family to where we need to be for him to receive it. I’m sure she could afford to keep her home in the Bahamas & visit it equally as much from England, as she visits England from the Bahamas!

- S.A.M on January 15th, 2009

Does she think girls don’t need to be socialized and to have laboratories, art departments, and playing fields as much as boys do?

- TF on January 15th, 2009

I don’t understand sending such young boys away. Does she have to live in the Bahamas?

- Kellie on January 15th, 2009

I understand the need for higher education, but there is absolutely no way I could ever send my children to boarding school-I would rather move!

The oldest boy reminds me of Prince Andrew! How adorable those kids are!

- brooklyn on January 15th, 2009

*I* went to boarding school and thought it was wonderful! Admittedly I was on the same continent as my parent (the US), but she was in OH and I was in AL and it all worked just fine. I was 13 – older than the oldest, but I think I would have gone at 10 if I’d been allowed. Don’t forget – they’re British, so I think going away to school has a different meaning, particularly for, you know, the wealthier families. I’m sure the boys were socialized to know that they would eventually go away to school, but based on India’s observations here, I think if they told her or she realized that they were having problems being that far away, she’d change the routine.

I also don’t think she was being “sexist” when she said the boys needed “socializing.” It’s likely that since Domino and Conrad are so young, it was logical to India to exclude them from that statement. She could also have been making fun of herself and her parenting, since she also admits that she “spoils them” far more than she was spoiled. If she knows that she’s limited in the discipline department, is it wrong to address that in a way that’s socially acceptable for you? For her, PERHAPS (since IDK for sure), it’s sending the boys (and eventually Domino) away to school in England. And it is likely that the island schools aren’t up to par with her expectations for their education. I mean, she’s actually in line (a long way down, but still) for the British throne. I’m sure that comes with some expectations of grandeur, etc.

Not only that, it’s not as though the boys probably don’t have relatives in London or wherever their schools are. They’re not surrounded by strangers constantly and I’m sure if something were to happen to one of them, a FAMILIAR relative would immediately be by their bedside until their mother could get there. Which would be on the next private plane to London from the Bahamas.

In any event, I would love to be able to go to England and get my classical education on, then come home to a palatial estate in the Bahamas with a gorgeous, spoilerific mom, two brothers and a little sister.

On a side note, all the kids were born in Miami, so they’re American!

- Jen DC on January 15th, 2009

I think it’s the “royal” thing to do by sending your kids to boarding school. Considering she’s grown up around families that do that with their children (Prince Harry & William both went to boarding school at a young age also), maybe she feels it’s normal.

I think it would be hard at first to see them go but you know it’s best for them so you adjust! And India did say she visits them alot, and they also get to spend time with other family on weekends!

- Natasha on January 15th, 2009

wow, how nice to be rich………

- Aitch on January 15th, 2009

i’m british – my parents lived on the continent and i attended boarding school from the age of 10 to 18, in oxfordshire.
i never had a single regret, i never felt bitter and time spent with my parents was treasured. i never felt i was being ‘shipped off’ – my parents gave up time they could have spent with me to ensure i got an education that would equip me to become however i wanted to be.
it was the best time of my life, and i look back on it with only the fondest memories.
now my daughter is 8 years old – i am starting to think about schools for her. although i would like her to stay at home there are no good schools in the area. and to be frank i think going away to school will give her the independence i had and was so proud to have. my husband and i want nothing but the best for our child and i’m sorry but i disagree entirely with people who see otherwise.
maz x

- mazzie on January 15th, 2009

I also don’t understand sending your children to boarding, especially when they are so young. They will be raised by other people. Why have children if you want them to leave the house before they are even 10 years old?

- Anna on January 15th, 2009

I wish people weren’t quite so quick to criticize. This is a woman who has chosen to offer her children a formal education in England as opposed to schooling them in a local school, where she may be unsatisfied with their opportunities or ability to grow. What is so horribly wrong with that? I know plenty of parents who have chosen to send their children to schools that are not the public institution in their district. Just because she’s chosen a school in England for them as opposed to one just a town or two away, that doesn’t mean she’s “shipped them off”, like a package. I am sure that she chose their school with the same diligence you or I would for our children, and she most certainly would miss them just as much.

- dizzyviolet on January 15th, 2009

As a Brit, while bording schools certainly exist they are not the norm for most families and it is rare for children quite so young. I believe she said they went two years ago, so they would of been 9 and 7? I have several friends who work at bording schoools and say the average start is either age 11, 14 or 16 and even then most are weekly borders – home each and every weekend for a minimum of 48 hrs.

I don’t like judging parents but in this situation I think they are too young and she should be in the same country. If the kids are in the Bahamas for holidays, then couldn’t the family live in the UK and go “home” to the Bahamas for breaks? and all be together? In the UK we get a lot of school holidays through the year, especially private schools, with at least 1-2 weeks off every 6 weeks. For example our private school starts beginning of September, then has 2 weeks off in October, goes back and then 3 weeks off at Christmas. Stars again in Jan, followed by a week off in Feb, begins again followed by 3 weeks off in April. Begins again followed by 2 weeks off in May, finally finishing for 9 weeks off in the summer.

I am sure she sees a lot of her children with so many holidays etc, but to send them away so young and to be on the other side of the world just seems incredibly non-parental.

- MMM on January 15th, 2009

These children are beautiful. Sending children to a school not on the island is perfectly acceptable. India and David obviously came to realize that the education offered on Harbour Island was not up to snuff and the most logical step was to send them to an English boarding school. Also, boarding school is quite a common pursuit for wealthy British families. I am sure the boys have plenty of family ties in the U.K. All my best to an extremely happy looking family.

- Ellen Smith on January 15th, 2009

My European parents sent me and my sister 3000 miles away for school when we were 8 years old. My older brother had left two years earlier. I barely even know my brother. It really sucked, it’s not fair.

- Ella Kate on January 15th, 2009

To each their own but I personally must be too selfish … I miss my son when he’s at preschool for 3 hours! When it is time for him to enter elementary school I plan on moving closer to a private school I wish for him to attend. They have boarding accommodations but *for me* I plan to move with him. As for independence, he will be 5 years old and I hardly think this will be stifling. I don’t plan on moving to college with him (though I’d like to – Homeschool Harvard maybe? ) In any case, they are a beautiful family and I quite like their names

- Brannon on January 15th, 2009

I couldn’t send my children to boarding school, but it’s their parents’ decision. Also, if you read the article, it said that the boys spend every weekend with India’s mother who lives quite close to their school. Maybe she feels better knowing there is family close by.

- SY on January 15th, 2009

I generally try not to judge and criticize other parents. However, I’m against having children and then not raising them yourself. There is absolutely NO WAY that sending a child that young away to boarding school is in their best interest. It is irresponsible, in my opinion. If the schools on their island aren’t up to par, why not home-school? If they have a lot of money, they can afford to pay a teacher of their choosing. Or…uh….move somewhere else?? I have two kids and would never be able to bear sending them away like that, to have them away from their parents who love them or to have someone else raise them.

- MoreThanAMommyBlog on January 15th, 2009

This is a beatiful family!! I do respect her way of thinking, but I wouldn’t be able to send my daughter to bording school, I’d miss her so much!!! she has her whole life ahead of her to be away from me! lol

On another note….I would LOVE to be rich! lol

- XOXO on January 15th, 2009

Jen – being born in America doesn’t make you American. Since the children are related to the British Royal Family, the family *probably* consider themselves British, although I am just assuming that, so I might be wrong. But from what I remember, the family are considered British by the British press, but obviously that might be the Royal connection at play again. Does anyone know where the dad is from? If he’s American, that would be different.

On the boarding school subject, I personally couldn’t send my daughter to live elsewhere, I would find it cruel to her, but that’s just my opinion. However, I have a friend who went to boarding school from the age of 11 and stayed at the school during the week and just went home at weekends. She loved it, but I’m not sure how she would’ve felt if she hadn’t had the home option for those two days and three nights.

- phoebe on January 15th, 2009

What’s right for one family may not be right for another. It doesn’t make anyone a bad parent! As a kid I always thought boarding school would have been an amazing experience, and I still do. There are a lot of advantages to it.

- jaja on January 15th, 2009

Well, India Hicks is only doing what all British upper class people do, especially the royal class. They all send their boys off to boarding school at the age of 8. It is expected. I seriously doubt the boys mind much because all of their relatives live nearby and I believe the godparents of the boys are members of the royal family. The boys probably spend weekends at their relatives country houses. It’s not like they are in Britain alone.

Also, India and her husband David run a hotel on the island and India also has some sort of fabric/decorating business there. It’s their home. Besides, with all those holidays the Brits give their school children and all the times India goes to visit, I doubt the boys have time to get homesick!!

They all look awfully sunny and happy. I remember an article a few years ago when the boys were really little and they were running around with the island children, naked and looking free and happy as little kittens!!! What a life!!

- mslewis on January 15th, 2009

Our private Christain elementary school that our children attend goes from pre-k through 8th grade. After 8th you have a choice of our private Christian High School near us or a boarding school about an hour and a half away from where we live. People from all over the world send their kids there. I can’t even think of sending my children there. It would break my heart. Although right now it could seem tempting because financially it is about $1,500.00 cheaper But that thought only stays in my mind a second. I love being near and having my children with me. I cry at the end of summer. My children love school, and look forward to it. Don’t get me wrong They can drive me nuts. I would not want it anyother way. I would love a nurse, having four kids someone is always sick. I joke that I would love a nanny (my husband is a liutenant on the fire dept he works sometimes 48 hours at a time I would love extra help) my husband always points out that I am a control freak and it would not work out. He is probably right. Maybe a cleaning lady and cook. Yeah I’ll take that!
As I sneak away to write this my kids are home because of severe cold weather, I am talking -10 without the windchill,and I couldnt be happier we are going to play some games

- mary on January 15th, 2009

“I’m against having children and then not raising them yourself”
Funny that comments like this pop up several times throughout the comments on this page.
Whenever I see pictures of celebrities here who are out with their children and nannies (yes I used the plural form on purpose), you hardly ever hear anyone make these kind of comments.

Which doesn’t mean I’m all for boarding schools. If I had children, I don’t think I would want to send them so far away, but that’s my personal opinion.
If I lived somewhere where I knew my children wouldn’t get the education I would want them to get, I might consider it too. You can’t make decisions for other people, I’m sure India’s doing this in her children’s best interest and that she means well. She obviously loves her children very much, and that’s most important.
The boys might be away at boarding school, but they get to spend a lot of time with their relatives, they’re home during the many school holidays and their mum visits them a lot.
They probably get to see more of their mum than children of parents with a 60+ hour work week, who are being send to daycare 5 days a week, or who have nannies around all the time.
So I think that some people on here are quite reacting quite harsh, without knowing the full story.

- Philippa on January 15th, 2009

Boarding school is not for every child obviously, as long as she is aware of that then I don’t see it as a problem. I never would have dreamed to go to boarding school as a kid but my older sister still asks my mom why she didn’t have a chance to go away to school! As long as the parents realize that one child may thrive on being away while another would be homesick and never adapt, I don’t have a problem with it.

- Caroline on January 15th, 2009

It’s very common for Brits of her class to send their children to public school (boarding school.) And I can understand the idea that she wants her kids to have a better education than is available on the island. If she and her husband can afford it, and can afford frequent trips to the UK to visit, I have no problem with it. These boys are getting an advantage few kids get–even these days, the best schools still lead to the best universities and to many, many advantages in life. The only problem I have is that I hope she gives little Domino the same education her brothers enjoy. I hope she didn’t mention Domino just because she’s so young. Girls need education just as much as their brothers do!

- Pencils on January 15th, 2009

India is a royal she is in the line of succession to the British throne. She was also a bridesmaid in Charles & Diana’s wedding – I remember her! Boarding school is very much the “norm” for this section of society.

- marlee on January 15th, 2009

This is really out of whack to me! She says that “I miss them unbearably.” Well, it must be bearable because she does it. If it was unbearable, she would not do this. Is it bearable for them? I have a problem with sending children away at such young ages. They are so vulnerbale to society’s influences- parents need to see them to “read” them on a daily basis to make sure they are ok. Who do they turn to on a given day of the week if they have had a bad experience? What if they have endured some type of abuse- and don’t want to report it? A parent who is with the child daily may pick up signs that an absent parent would miss over the phone. Living away from home must be so lonely for them, regardless of what they may say. It’s also ironic that she says her children come to her first- not the ones in boarding school, because she is not there to go to!

- Valerie on January 15th, 2009

If she can afford it, and wants it then no one has the right to jump in a say she’s irresponsible or whatever they are saying about her. I think if I could afford it and my children wanted it, then I would do it as well if it meant them getting a better education. Sometimes it’s just not possible to move the entire family. I remember when my parents were considering sending me to private school, I wanted so badly to go boarding school. Not that I wouldn’t have missed my parents and brother, but the experiences and the opportunities were too good to pass up. Unfortunately I didn’t go since they decided against the private schools, but I never forgot the desire to be on my own. I think it would provide an independence that they would not receive otherwise. But in the end, it is her family and she can do whatever she likes.

- Devon on January 15th, 2009

I love this family! I like big families anyway, and especially the ones who gives their kids special names Like them! And the kids are all so cute!! And they live in the Bahamas! Anything bad about them??

- Laurie on January 15th, 2009

In many cultures, being able to send your child to boarding school is a privilege and opens up many opportunities for the children.

I grew up in America, so I would rather keep my children with me than send them away.

We do have aunts and uncles who attended pretigious boarding schools in England and subsequently went on to Oxford/Cambridge and have sucessful careers as physicians, attorneys and public officials.

That said though, the parents who sent these aunts/uncles to boarding school do regret sending them. Because the family was separated (and back then you can’t just pick up a phone or go online), the family relationships are a bit strained and not close, even though they all went on to productive and successful lives.

- joanAZ on January 15th, 2009

I don’t think it’s good for the parents to do that to their kids. I am usually totally against nannies, but having nannies taking care of your children at YOUR house is way better then sending such young children off to fancy boarding schools because I really don’t think the kids care if they go to a school with the best fields or the nicest science labs, in the long run, they will most likely be thankful they lived home with their family and friends. They are not my children so I should butt out of their life, but I would never send my kids away.

- Mary on January 15th, 2009

phoebe, “being born in America doesn’t make you American” is not quite true. Being born in the USA makes you automatically a citizen of the US.
As for India’s statements, I don’t know why she should be ashamed of hiring a nanny or any other help and why she feels the need to explain herself regarding that matter. But what I find indeed very strange is sending your children completely away at such a young age. I would never be able doing that.

- l on January 15th, 2009

I would never send my children to a boarding school in another country. I understand India’s desire to give her children the best education possible but I feel it is more important that the family stay close together. I guess in the society that India lives in, sending your children away at such a young age is acceptable but I wonder how her children will feel when they get older. Not only are the oldest two children missing out on quality time with their parents but they will also miss out seeing their younger siblings grow up. Parents only have from 0-18 to make an impact on their children before they are off on their own. Therefore, I would not allow my child to move away from home before they are 17 or 18.

- Di on January 15th, 2009

I have no clue who this woman is but may be,in her personal understanding of the world perhaps not dictated by American middle class values,her sacrifice as a mother is to send the boys abroad.I imagine there are some less than ideal consequences for that, as many of you have pointes out,but the children will also become resourceful,independent and develop their own sense of self by being away from home during the school year.Those aren’t bad things.Perhaps some feel that this skills do not compensate for the things that are lost,but if she does and sees positive results by sending the children to a school abroad,who is anyone else to tell her she’s wrong?

- eva on January 15th, 2009

I wouldn’t want to see my children at a boarding school either, but that’s possibly because I didn’t go to one myself. India is goddaughter of the Prince of Wales and David’s family are privileged to say the least and so to them, boarding school is within their own comfort zones and part of their own experience. At least her sons had one another for company I suppose.

- pam woodhouse on January 15th, 2009

I’m shocked at the people saying they’re against “having children and not raising them yourself”. While I agree that 8 might be a *little* young to let them go to boarding school, if they don’t complain about it, I don’t see the harm. I’m sure they love it. They start to need a little more independance… their mom obviously visits a lot and one of the comments said their grandmother lives close to the school. They do need to socialize in a way that might not be possible on the island, and boarding school is a different experience for them, living with their friends all the time and learning to be a bit more independant. I’m not saying every one should go that young (or at all) but it’s hardly having “other people raise them” just because she’s not there all the time. She’s still their parent, their reference and the one they will turn to if they need.

Most of the comments against sending them say “oh, I’d miss them so much!” That speaks volumes. That the parents miss their kids is very normal and everything but don’t say it’s bad for the *child* just because it’s unpleasant for the *parent*.

- Alice on January 15th, 2009

Personally the Brits I know that went to boarding school early like that are all screwed up alcoholic lords who are fairly dreadful parents (but I have a failry small sample of 3 from which to draw my conclusions). My gut tells me that 8 is a bit early to delegate parental responsibilities. Which doesn’t mean that some children would not love the experience, but i would be cautious about it as a parent myself.

- Fevvers on January 15th, 2009

As the saying goes, the rich are different. It’s the norm in India’s circle to use boarding schools, etc.

Really, would you expect a little girl who was in Princess Diana’s wedding to live the same lifestyle as most of us do?

- Diamond Girl on January 15th, 2009

I was a nanny/housekeeper in a house in England and the three kids all went to different boarding schools at varying distances from the home. The youngest would come home every weekend because he was close by and the others around once a month. They were happy and healthy children (as well-adjusted as teenagers could be)and they got on with each other and did well at school. They’d all started boarding school before they were 10 years old and didn’t suffer at all from it.

My own mother was sent to boarding school from the age of six. The only scars she has from the experience is that she can’t eat runny eggs.

- Lilybett on January 15th, 2009

I agree if it was unbearable she wouldn’t do it. Apparently she thinks it’s bearable. What is keeping her in the Bahamas except for the good life? I could understand being away from my children if I had no other choice because I needed to provide for them.
But being away from them because I want to live on a tropical island where the schooling isn’t good enough? Strange!

- Anna on January 15th, 2009

I attended a boarding school and wish I hadn’t. I saw my parents once a month but that wasn’t enough. I was never hugged or kissed by staff and if someone did anything to hurt me, there was no one there to really go and tell. Kids even abused other kids in every way imaginable and there was no one to really tell. I’m very cold and not the most social person. I have to attribute that to my years in boarding school. I sometimes wonder why my parents sent me away??? Now that i’m a parent I really don’t think any reason is good enough.

- lauren on January 15th, 2009

There are families where the kids thrive in that type of environment. It doesn’t mean the parents and kids aren’t close, or that their relationship suffers. They probably have so much fun together over holidays, and I’m sure they have plenty of contact with their parents while they’re at school. Who are we to say that her kids aren’t happy with their situation? I could be wrong, I don’t know this family, but those boys seem pretty happy and well-adjusted.

- Jane on January 16th, 2009

@ Phoebe, re: American citizenship. Being born in the U.S. or in one of its territories gives you U.S. citizenship. Fact. Whether they choose to exercise the rights that come with that or choose to accept what is known as American “culture” (for lack of a better word) are separate issues.

- Jen DC on January 16th, 2009

“I”, I meant more in a biological and….emotional sense I guess. I mentioned it only because I was born in America, but I am, for all intents and purposes, British because that is where my parents are from and that it what I have been raised as. I don’t consider myself American just because that’s where I was born. Due to my father’s job at the time us kids arrived, my siblings were born all over the place (brother in Germany, sister also America, littlest brother London), but we are all British. We’ve all been back to out birthplaces (California for me, yay, sunshine lol), but I’m in my 20′s now, and I am definitely British! That was my point with India’s children. Being born in America, other than in some parts of the law, doesn’t make them American.

Regardless of the international arrivals in my family and the slightly nomadic nature of my parents childrearing, it would be out of the question for me to EVER send my daughter away to another country to be educated. I appreciate that India and her partner want the best education for their children, but I honestly fail to see how living away from their parents at such a very young age is going to aid their emotional development. It won’t be long before my daughter is the age those children were when they were sent away to school and I couldn’t even dream of putting her through the separation any more than I could put myself and her father through it. I’m sure it works for some (perhaps in a lesser of two evils kind of way), but not for me, and DEFINITELY not so early in their lives. From secondary school age, okay, I still wouldn’t take that route, but it’s better than when they’re tiny.

- phoebe on January 16th, 2009

Wow, I have to say I do not agree with India’s style of parenting. Sure, life may be wonderful and all in the Bahamas, but to send such young kids to boarding school in England all by themselves while the rest of the family stays there? I don’t quite understand that way of thinking. India is talking about missing them terribly and jumping on the plane like a bus, so why don’t they all move to England? What is she going to do when the other two kids reach the age to send off to England? I never will understand why parents send their kids to boarding school in another city never mind another country.

- DLR in Canada on January 16th, 2009

phoebe, regarding the first passage of your second post … I fully understood what you meant the first time around. That’s why I threw in citizenship and said “not QUITE true”. But you tend to “overexplain” yourself, don’t you.

- l on January 16th, 2009

I “over-explain” myself? Er, no. I don’t. I gave a full explanation in case other people didn’t understand, since there would likely be more than one person who read my post. I’m not entirely sure what you meant with your comment, but I somehow feel that it’s pointed at me for some reason. I’m sorry if I got that wrong, but I found your comment slightly odd.

The more I think about India Hicks’ situation, I can see *why* she has sent her children to the schools, and I’m not even against boarding schools in principal. I’m trying to figure out if I’m more perturbed by the young age of the children, or the big distance from the parents when they are at their schools. I suppose I just feel that children grow up so fast anyway, pushing them away from their parents to gain independance so early is just another step in the wrong direction for me. I think when my daughter is a child, it is her right to be able to lean on me whenever she needs me, and I don’t want her to be thousands of miles away so she can’t have a cuddle whenever she needs it. It’s just my opinion, and I’m sure the boarding system works for some people, but it’s a total no-no in my family.

- phoebe on January 16th, 2009

phoebe, sorry, but I’m laughing a little bit here. Just look at this thread only. Three posts from you (two quite lengthy in comparison) and you’re stating merely the same in all three of them. If this isn’t “over-explaining”, as in making one’s point over and over again, then what is it?

- l on January 16th, 2009

Oh, I forgot, I’m not allowed to have my say. Sorry to point out the obvious here, but having had a look back at an older post, this is the second occasion on which you have tried to talk down to me. On another post, you have ‘blessed my heart’ for my view, and on this one, you’ve accused me of overexplaining myself. In the future, if you could just let me know YOUR policy here in the future, it would make life much easier. I don’t deserve to be treated the way you have treated me. What happened to respect?

- phoebe on January 16th, 2009

Talking you down? “Bless your heart” was meant with my best intentions, not in a sarcastic, disrespectful way, more as in “good for you if you can have so much empathy and sympathy for people you don’t know at all”. You’re not allowed to have your say? Where did I say this? But you seem to forget that others can have their say too, even if it means they’re quarreling with you. I’m disrespecting you? Why? Because I’m pointing out the truth? Have your say as much as you want, I’m going to skip your posts in the future, because this is turning into kindergarden style.

- l on January 16th, 2009

You can claim that it was with best intentions if you want to, but it in no way came off that way, it was sarcastic and condescending. You have no right to dictate or attempt to control what is written here, who writes it, and what they write. By being rude to me, that is what you were doing. If I’ve had to explain my point more than once, it’s because it’s been needed. If you believe you are pointing out the truth, that’s great for you, but it is only your opinion, and you have been disrespectful and rude frankly. Honestly, I’m quite glad at this point that you will be ‘skipping’ my posts, I have no desire to be spoken down to. Honestly, I have a four year old child who has better manners than this.

- phoebe on January 16th, 2009

I went to boarding school too, at age 10, at my nearest city which was 12hrs away. I think boarding school is a great thing for children and gives them more than just an education, but from my experience and from my young age, I think boarding school for any child under 13 is a little excessive. I find it quite sad to be absolutely honest that she wont give up her lifestyle & move so that she wont have to be away from her children so much, especially when she is already hiring nanny’s..when you think about it, how much time is left?. To be honest it seems, and this is just my opinion, not what it actually is, that her holiday is when the children are gone, because they would be gone more often than when they are home.

- audrey on January 18th, 2009

Slap me for being stupid enough to come back here. But just two things, phoebe, for someone who doesn’t want other people to put words in your mouth you never said/meant, you sure have no problem doing it vice versa. 2. As for the rest, cry me a river.

- l on January 18th, 2009

I’ve just stumbled upon this post, and personally I believe that while I may not make the same choice for my children, I totally see why the mum and dad have sent their children away to school. Maybe in my mind I feel that they should have gone with the children, but after all, we don’t know all the ins and outs of the situation, there might be a particular reason they can not leave the business or something like that. Also, if India flies to see them a lot it probably doesn’t seem very much different for the children than a lot of kids at boarding school whose parents only live a few miles away from the school. I don’t have the money to be sending my children to boarding schools, and I’m not sure I would if I could (they are too young at the moment anyway) because I don’t know if I feel that the pros outweigh the cons. But that’s just my way of thinking, and private schools definitely have their benefits I believe.

And not that I wanted to throw my hat into the ring of the phoebe/-I- apparent debate, but I do think that got a little out of hand. But maybe that last comment by -I- didn’t help, that was a bit mean and uncalled for. With that and the sarcasm, I sort of see why phoebe was wounded by it.

PS, did anyone else get to go home after school to anywhere that beautiful? What a stunning place to wake up in during the school holidays!

- Alex on January 18th, 2009

I went away to school as a teenager and it was the best experience of my life. I went to a school that offered courses that I could never get back home and I made friends for life. I don’t know how I feel about a young child going away, but for an older child it could be a wonderful experience.

- Terri on January 22nd, 2009