Comments on: Cindy Margolis: 'I Took Becoming a Mother For Granted'

By: DJE

DJE — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 07:41:23 +0000

Adoption is also a wonderful option. There are over 100,000 children up for adoption in the US, we found our wonderful kids on the web site adoptuskids.org and they made us the happy family that we are today. Please consider adoption of an older child, they need loving homes and can bring so much joy!!

By: Terri

Terri — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 23:52:35 +0000

I’m sure more women wish that they were in a position to have a child at the best possible age – but not everyone is.

By: cheryl

cheryl — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:37:00 +0000

I don’t see any of the previous posters saying that age is the one & only reason for infertility, nor do I see anyone criticizing any of the moms who waited until they were older to pursue motherhood. But age does have an impact on a woman’s fertility, even if there aren’t other fertility issues present. That is the truth. I can’t think of a single RE or OB/GYN who would recommend a woman delay childbearing until her late 40′s or 50′s, citing that age has little to do with infertility.

By: Ella'sMom

Ella'sMom — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:15:05 +0000

Thank you, Nicole. I did multiple rounds of IVF and became a Mommy through adoption. It has eased the pain, but at the end of the day, I’m still infertile. And my fertility was taken by a doctor who didn’t do their job when I was only 22. Major kudos going out to Cindy for speaking up and fronting RESOLVE. Thank you…

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:56:02 +0000

I feel this comment by Nicole needs to be repeated!

“Actually, and sadly. age has little to do with infertility. Yes, fertility does start to decline at 35. That doesn’t make it right to criticize women who have waited. And the fastest growing group of infertile women are in their mid-20s.”

Infertility doesn’t discriminate based on age. Sure it is well-known that by the age of 35, fertility starts to decline, but that doesn’t mean all women were on equal footing to begin with! All this talk of how women are waiting – that is definitely not the one and only cause of infertility. You can be infertile at any age – everyone should know that.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:09:57 +0000

Actually, and sadly. age has little to do with infertility. Yes, fertility does start to decline at 35. That doesn’t make it right to criticize women who have waited. And the fastest growing group of infertile women are in their mid-20s.

Infertility hurts like a pain I have never known before and does not go away. I am ever-so-blessed to finally have my son…however, having a baby cures childlessness, not infertility. It leaves behind some pretty brutal scars. And the journey makes you appreciate your child in a way that I know I could not have before. I would go through it all over again for him.

As far as how to treat friends going through this? Treat them like your friends! Don’t turn your backs on them because they are going through a very difficult time. It may be impossible for you to understand how they are feeling, but just being present will make a difference. Listen. Ask them out. Stop by to visit on a day they have had a procedure. They are still your friend, they are just going through something very difficult.

Kudos to Cindy for this book and being the RESOLVE spokesperson! She is doing an amazing thing for so many women!

By: cheryl

cheryl — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:46:36 +0000

Again, kudos to Cindy for speaking about this issue. Particularly with so many celebrities conceiving and giving birth in their late 40′s and early 50′s, and so few of them being really honest about the reproductive technology they used to conceive, people can get a rather unreal idea of the impact aging has on a woman’s ability to conceive naturally, and the window of opportunity during which a woman has to conceive.

By: MZ

MZ — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:31:30 +0000

I think a lot of people (w/o fertility problems) approach infertility a bit like death: they have no idea about the right thing to say and so the most terrible thing they could possibly say (like “just relax”) comes out. One of my good friends recently told me that she just had her 3rd miscarriage in a little over a year. I had no idea what to say because I felt so bad for her, so I just told her I was terribly sorry and to let me know if there was anything I could do to help her while she recovered, but I don’t know if that was the “right” thing to say or not.

I hope that more celebrities and regular women will speak out about their struggles to help make this subject less taboo, and at the same time, provide some guidance about what people should say.

By: Kimi

Kimi — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 13:08:52 +0000

Kudos to Cindy for speaking up on this issue. Infertility is such a taboo topic these days- I couldn’t even talk about it in my own house!

We finally did get pg naturally with my son (with a complicated pregnancy) and we decided we wanted to start trying for #2 soon after his birth. Now, almost three years later, we are still trying (although naturally) and I went through several medicated (pills and injection) cycles of IUI without success. My hubby and I decided not to do IVF based on our beliefs (and our pocketbooks). I can say without a doubt that this has been THE hardest thing for our marriage and he still doesn’t completely understand my emotions. (Other people’s are worse!) What makes it even more difficult is that I’ll be 30 in August- most people don’t understand that this effects women in their late 20′s too.

By: pinkpanther

pinkpanther — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 12:42:10 +0000

I think women of this generation are fed the myth that you can you can plan everthing done to the last minute. You hear women (including) celebrities say once I do this in my career, I will have children in the next five – seven years. Reality is, that life(yoru body)is not waiting on your career and your plans.