Amanda Peet Takes 'Transitional Objects' Seriously!

Limelight

Amanda Peet — someone who often travels for her job — says that daughter Frances ‘Frankie’ Pen, 21 ½ months, has naturally become accustomed to life on the road. In the beginning, the 36-year-old actress admits that she was "much more nervous" as a mom, and would "bring basically [Frankie's] whole world wherever we went." Frankie at first didn’t have a "transitional object," so Amanda would bring "a bunch of stuffed animals to see which one she was going to eventually become attached to." The approach backfired, however, when Frankie became overly-attached to a stuffed cow! In the "ensuing panic" that she would lose Frankie’s beloved toy, Amanda said she was willing to do anything to find a back-up.

"I had given another cow to a friend of hers at the same time, so I called her and said, ‘You know that gift I gave you, is there any way I can get it back?’ So now we hide cow #2, in case something happens to cow #1."

Amanda and her husband David Benioff get confused sometimes when cow #1 is in the wash, and cow #2 comes briefly into play. "We trick her and the only problem is sometimes we think we’ve lost it, so we’ll like [motion to each other and whisper about where it could be]," Amanda explains. "It would be really disturbing, I think, if she saw both of them."

Source: The Ellen DeGeneres Show 

Comments

Yep, I totally understand where Amanda is coming from -
two should NEVER be seen together lol!!

My eldest daughter knows the difference as one is slightly more worn than her er, back-up.
But it’s the fact that we have one that’s the key.
Good Moms think alike

- kelpy on December 15th, 2008

My 2 year old has finally become attached to fox that was connected to a toddler sized loofa at the Dollar Tree. There are 5 total foxes at my house. He has seen 2 at the same time, and was mildly concerned, nothing too bad though.

- Bree on December 15th, 2008

Frankie gets cuter as she grows!

Is it alright for a child to get so attached to toys or other objects? Ultimately, I’m sure it is harmless, but does anyone know of any reason this would be considered something you would want to stay away from?

- Janis on December 15th, 2008

She asked for a gift BACK?! I don’t care how neurotic you are about THINGS, you don’t do that. Totally classless.

- Michele on December 15th, 2008

Hehehe, how cute. My daughter has a cow too. It takes a while to know what they get attached to and then you go on a mad search trying to find one! Our problem was the cow my daughter got attached to was one that was her sisters over 2 years earlier lol. So I know about back ups but I never really thought about keeping the new on away cause she will know instantly if the old one ever gets lost because it will be too clean lol.

- Christi on December 15th, 2008

Frankie is just a little mini-me of her mom! How adorable.

- sigh on December 15th, 2008

Michele, judgmental much? You heard about 1/10th of the situation and you say she is classless? Calm down.

- Natasha on December 15th, 2008

‘Transitional Objects’ are very healthy.

- kelpy on December 16th, 2008

We have three stuffed hippos, and rotate them out so that they are all about the same amount of worn. At three, he hasn’t noticed that he leaves it in bed in the morning, and it magically shows up for naptime at daycare.

- Nicola on December 16th, 2008

@janis,
I’m not an expert by any means, but I remember being very much attached to an entire zoo of stuffed animals and being very neurotic about it, but I’m normal by now;) I think it’s fine.

that story is cute and frankie is sooooo adorable! is her middle name “pen”, because her father is a writer? haha, that’s cool:)

- kaya on December 16th, 2008

My son’s lovie is a monkey blanket that I bought on clearance at the Land of Nod a year after he was born and there was no way of getting a duplicate. But because he’s (yes, he’s a boy) big, we never lose him.

My daughter’s lovie is a cow named Piper Pancakes Barney and we bought her at a breakfast on the farm two summers ago. She became the lovie de jur instantly but we couldn’t purchase a duplicate until we saw the stand in the barn the following summer and by then there was no way to equal out the loved on feel with swapping them out. And every night we have to search and search the house to find Piper because she’s small and apparently hide and go seek is her favorite game! And she’s good at it!

And Janis, transitional objects are actually very healthy for children…it helps them cope with feelings and stress they feel but don’t quite understand. I can’t wait to see what my new baby will be attached to!

- UggaMugga.com on December 16th, 2008

aww Nicola that is soo cute!!!

- blackrose on December 16th, 2008

I think this whole needing a back up toy think is pretty telling for modern day parenting. God forbid your child would have to learn that sometimes you lose something and have to get on without it.

I’m sure 20 years ago no one even thought of getting two of a kind to make sure their child always had one.

- Anna on December 16th, 2008

She kinda resembles Charlie Sheen’s oldest girl.

- Denise on December 16th, 2008

My daughter (now three) was very attached to her Bert, which was a plain old cloth diaper. We were lucky in that we bought a couple dozen of them and she never could tell one from the other.

- Shan on December 16th, 2008

Anna – my mom had a back-up blankie for me (I’m 30) and a back up cow for my brother. I also have a back up for my son and hardly think I’m a bad parent for not telling my 2 year old to “get on with it” when we leave his comfort item at home or think we’ve lost it. When he loses his cell phone at 16, I promise not to have a back up on hand. He can “deal with it” then.

- brannon on December 16th, 2008

I didn’t say you were a bad parent for having an extra. I just think it’s an example of the bubblewrap parenting we see a lot nowadays.

- Anna on December 16th, 2008

I have always worried because my daughter is not ‘attached’ to any object…I mean she likes stuff animals but if she losses one or forgets one she is fine with it. Should I worry?

- XOXO on December 16th, 2008

My brother and I both had items we were attached to (I’m sure my little sis did too but I don’t remember). I had my pink blankie and Shamu the whale, and my brother had Fuzzy the bunny. Neither of my things were items that could have backups (blanket used to be my late gramma’s and Shamu was a gift from an uncle). I don’t remember losing them though. Shamu slept with me ever night through college lol. When my brother lost Fuzzy though my parents tried desperately to find a replacement, but the new bunny just didn’t look the same. Luckily for my brother (and their sanity!), they eventually were able to get Fuzzy back.

- MB on December 16th, 2008

I honestly dont see it as bubblewrap parenting as much as making things a lot more sane for parents. I mean what if the kids love it so much that its a screaming fit. I’d rather have another lovey then have a very upset kid. I didnt buy my son an extra monkey b/c at the time we didnt think he’d get attached to it, and now you cant buy it anymore. Does he freak out when George disappears, no. But he’ll continue to ask. I dont see the problem with having an extra.

- Heather on December 16th, 2008

Both of my nephews have back-ups for their favorite stuffed animals (monkey for #1 and teddy bear for #2. ) In their case one is kept at my parents house because they’re over there so much and their parents don’t always remember to pack them when they travel. I think having a back-up is far easier than trying to convince a three-year-old or an 18-month-old to go to sleep without their favorite animal. It’s almost impossible.

- Jeanne on December 16th, 2008

Shan, my oldest son was also attached to a diaper! It was actually just a bunch of cloth diaper rags that we had been using for burp clothes. It was an odd thing to become attached to but I was glad it was something I could easily wash and replace at least.

My younger son never had a favorite lovey, really. He was more about having his pacifier than anything else.

- Brandi on December 16th, 2008

Kaya and UggaMugga, thank you! Makes sense, definitely.

- Janis on December 16th, 2008

My daughter’s lovie is a stuffed Ty Baby Beanie dog. We lost the cat a couple of times and she grew attached to the dog. She rubs his ears and then rubs the ear under her nose. It’s funny to see but it’s cute. She’s 4 and she still sleeps with him. She’s not so much into carrying him around all the time like when she was little. If I remember correctly he’s been around since she was about 5-6 months old. So, thank you to Ty for making such a durable toy. I did try buying a replacement but she’s totally onto it and has seen them together. They just have two different names. Her lovie is Cuddly Doggie and the other is Dry Doggie. How she came up with that I’ll never know. My son on the other hand will be a year on Friday and has no lovie to speak of. I think all kids are different and we shouldn’t worry one way or the other if they do or don’t have a special transition object.

- Kristi on December 16th, 2008

I would hardly call today’s parenting ‘bubblewrap parenting’ but rather a kinder, more gentle, and educated style of parenting. Children will certainly learn about loss and hardships as they grow, it’s inevitable. I think it’s incredibly sweet to ensure your child has his or her lovey at all times.

It shows you care deeply about what your child cares deeply about which is a wonderful thing.

- yogadaisy on December 16th, 2008

I agree with Anna. Why worry about it? If a child becomes attached to something they become attached, it they don’t they don’t. I really worry that we are overthinking things. Giving them names like “transitional object” only adds to it.

- ann on December 16th, 2008

I never had a “lovie,” “transitional object,” etc. and it was never an issue. I don’t necessarily think it’s a big deal if a child is attached to a certain toy, but if it’s such a big deal that it warrants having it at all times or the child goes into meltdown mode-I don’t know. I find that a bit much, personally.

Overall, I totally agree with you, Anna. And if giving everyone a trophy, not allowing teachers to grade in red ink, and forbiding children from playing tag are examples of today’s “more gentle, and educated style of parenting,” count me out.

- Lauren on December 16th, 2008

That is too cute!
My daughters most prized possession is a pink and grey striped clothlike stuffed animal with an elephant head, hands and feet. We have four of that elephant all toghether. I got the first one for her at H&M when she was just 3 weeks old.I kept it close to me before I put it right next to her cheek when she was napping. Around 12 months old, she really took a liking to this comfort cloth, so I rushed out and got a few more, just in case. Im really glad I did now, as we rotate between the four so they get equal use.
However, I have a very high treshold of bringing out a new one, in case one gets lost.
She forgot her Baby (thats the name she has given it) at the grocery store this summer. She found out it was missing just right before bedtime and my DH wanted me to bring out one of the other ones. But I refused as I thought this would be a good lesson for her to learn to take better care of her things and not leave them everywhere.(Shes 3 and a half now) So my daughter and hubbie trailed off to the store, (it was way past her bedtime) in order to search for baby. Lo and behold, she found it on top of a pack of bacon- right where she had left it.
After that, she takes extra care to make sure she hasn’t lost baby anywhere. I think her world would crumble without that elephant- she told her baby brother this morning that “he should not steal baby as my mom gave it to me when I was as a little, little baby.”

- KillMilla on December 16th, 2008

My daughter’s lovie is a pink cable knit blanket I received as a baby gift. You can bet your sweet bippy we have 2! Took me 6 months to track down another one, but I did! I don’t agree with the idea that if she loses it, she should deal with it. My daughter is only 2 and a half and she’s already lost people (and dogs) she loved. She’s quite familiar with loss. I don’t want to add to that by telling her to suck it up when pink blankie is missing.

- Donna on December 18th, 2008

My daughter (just turned 2) has a soft monkey called ‘Edgey’ (no idea where that came from) and has been attached to him since she was about 8 months old. He started looking a bit worse for wear (and it was increasingly difficult to prise him out of her hands for a machine wash!)so I tried to get another but the shop has dis-continued him and you can only get them off ebay now. I ended up spending £32 on second hand one (they must be in demand!) when I had originally paid £8 a year previously! some might think thats ridiculous, but I think its VERY wise to have a back up. Money well spent!

And yes, I agree,sometimes society has gone mad…but as mums, we all know that homelife and times have very much changed in the past 30 odd years – and sometimes we need to make life a bit easier for ourselves. So if prompting a toddler meltdown is one of the things we can avoid in doing this (ie. buying an extra comfort toy), then I’m all for it! I dont think it hurts to be organised!

Best wishes to all you CBB readers for this festive season
Loumin
x

- Loumin on December 19th, 2008

I don’t see any harm with having a transitional toy, me & my younger brother both had a stuffed toy from when we were born that we were attached to & Even at 21, I still have it !

- Mandy C. on December 23rd, 2008

My husband and I bought our first son a blanket for when he started daycare – so it remind him of home when I wasn’t near. He loved the blanket so much – I wish I had a duplicate. So when son no. 2 came, he fell in love with a blue bear, and I bought 7 others, but he KNOWS exactly which one is his favorite – he wants nothing to do with the others. When son no. 3 came, he fell in love with a blanket and by the time it happened, the blankets were obsolete. So yes, having duplicates is a life saver. I’m not bubblewrapping my kids, I’m not making them insecure – I’m helping them be a kid and find the one thing they turn to when they need it.

- momof3 on December 26th, 2008

I have a pretty clear memory of being very young and getting out of bed and finding my mom because I couldn’t sleep without my “fay bay” (which is how ‘favorite blanket’ came out when I started talking). I had to wait a bit, but then she pulled it out of the dryer and it was so warm and wonderful.

I had a favorite corner of the blanket. I called the corner “ooey” and I would sleep with the ooey corner on my pillow. My grandmother had to regularly patch and reconstruct the satin binding.

I slept with that blanket until I was in middle school. I didn’t need it, but it was just nice and comforting. Now, 20 years later, I sleep better when I have a soft throw blanket on the bed so I can pull one corner up onto my pillow.

I don’t know if I am evidence that the whole comfort item thing is natural and reassuring… or if I am proof that it can go too far! (btw: my mom wanted to save the corner of my fay bay, but I balked at cutting it up, so the whole threadbare thing is folded in a keepsake box at her house)

- Lia on December 28th, 2008