Tina Fey: Window of Opportunity for a Baby is Closing

Courtesy Vanity Fair

Comedian Tina Fey has always juggled a full plate. In addition to raising her 3-year-old daughter with husband Jeff Richmond, she parted ways — although still makes an occasional appearance — with Saturday Night Live to write, produce, and star in her own sitcom, 30 Rock, which recently premiered it’s third season. As a result of her hectic schedule, time has inevitably passed by at a steady pace, as 38-year-old Tina shares in a new interview with Vanity Fair that her "window" of opportunity to give Alice Zenobia a sibling, is slowly "closing." While fitting the pregnancy into their lives does not pose a challenge, Tina admits that the most daunting task are the immediate months following the birth.

"Obviously you want the best chance of the baby being healthy, and I think with our life and jobs right as they are at this moment, it doesn’t seem possible. It is the year after the baby comes that is like someone hitting you every day in the face with a hammer."

Uncertain of whether Alice will become a future big sister, Tina and Jeff are instead focusing their attention on spending quality time with their daughter. On a typical day off for the threesome, their schedule often includes stopping for some time at the local playgrounds followed by visits to The Neptune Room or the Shake Shack in New York City.

Source: Vanity Fair

Comments

Yay for Tina! It’s refreshing to hear someone speak publicly about how difficult the entire first year experience can be, instead of just the first few months postpartum. My daughter is the same age as Alice, and we’ve basically decided not to have another, for many of the same reasons…and most importantly, we’re at peace with that choice. Here’s hoping that whatever they decide, the Richmond-Fey family can feel the same.

- Anna on December 1st, 2008

Kudos to Tina– it sounds like they are very happy in their current family situation and are not falling prey to the “what? you’re not having another” comments. My daughter is close to Alice’s age as well, and we have also decided that our family is complete. Perhaps it is not for everyone, but I think that Tina & her husband will do a wonderful job with just Alice, should that be the ultimate decision (and it sounds to me like it already is…)

- Tara on December 1st, 2008

If Tina and her husband only want one child – more power to them. However, I always laugh when I hear these celebrities talking about how rough they have it with one child (and full time housekeepers, cooks, nannies, etc) Maybe I just have a higher threshold for pain. I had my 4 kids in 6 years. For the first two I was active duty military. I don’t remember ever being overwhelmed to the point of it feeling like “being hit in the face with a hammer every day”

- Sally on December 1st, 2008

I am so pleased to hear someone speak positively about having just one…my husband and I plan on having just one for a variety of reasons. I have had the nastiest comments directed at me when I tell people our plan, such as, “How can you do that to your child?” I even had one person tell me, “All the only children I know are messed up somehow.” Excuse me!

I’ve known deeply screwed up onlies and deeply screwed up people from big families and medium-sized families. And as far as not wanting to have a child go through taking care of elderly parents alone, I think that’s about as bad of a reason as I can think of to have a child! (Up there with only having a kid to have someone to take care of you when you’re old.)

Kudos to Tina Fey for speaking honestly, and let’s respect her no matter what her choice is!

Sorry…just had to vent there for a second.

- jennifer on December 1st, 2008

I too empathised with the ‘hit in the face with a hammer’ comment. Emergency c-section, post-partum depression, a baby who would never settle for daytime naps! Ironically this did not stop me becoming pregnant with my second (planned) child after 10 months as I wanted to give my first daughter a sibling and so wanted to do it again. And ended up on crutches due to pelvic problems which is the main reason I am put off doing it again (not wanting to suffer pregnancy, labour, and sleep deprivation is a secondary consideration). So I guess it is about how hard your hormones and mind are determined to bring another life into the world versus the rational desire for an easier life. Each to their own – I am currently delighted to see my two pre-schoolers play the most wonderful games together but no doubt they’ll have the most terrible teenage arguments

- Little Miss S on December 2nd, 2008

I think it’d be fine if Tina and her husband had a second child soon, to give their daughter a sibling and their chance for a son, or another daughter.

Still though, for being an “older mom” Tina does run a slightly higher risk of having a child with Downs, just like Sarah Palin. It’s definitely not a guarentee, but it would hold an interesting twist of irony.

- Autumn on December 2nd, 2008

Tina rocks!!! She looks awesome! I read here (www.projectweightloss.com) about her diet and, wow, she makes it seem so easy.

- Helen on December 2nd, 2008

I totally agree with her. That first year, in particular the first 6 months, is the hardest. It gets so much easier after that. I have 4 kids, 5 and under, and that first birthday is just as much a celebration for them as it is for me!

- SH on December 2nd, 2008

HAHAHA!! Yes. The first year is/can be painful and difficult. I love Tina’s honesty and openness. Far too often, people glamorize pregnancy, childbirth and infancy. Of course their are precious, wonderful, heartbreakingly beautiful moments. But there is also pain, frustration, and loss of personal identity. I wouldn’t trade my children, my pregnancies, and the experiences I’ve had over the past 3 years for anything. But thank god other women feel free to share that its not all sunshine and butterflies!

- amanda on December 2nd, 2008

Love that cover!

- brannon on December 2nd, 2008

jennifer- ITA! I’m not an only child myself, but my mother is (and it was by choice, too. My grandmother had a really tough pregnancy and delivery, so, understandably, she really didn’t want to go through all that again!), and she is certainly not “messed up”.

I’m unsure whethe or not my grandparents ever had to endure the comments that people like jennifer have gotten (such as “How can you do that to her?! or the ever-popular “Onlies are always messed up somehow!”), but I sure hope not!

I hate all the sterotypes and stigmas attatched to only children. Being an only child is NOT the end of the world, and I wish more people would realize that!

- CelebBabyLover on December 2nd, 2008

You know, I am a fan of Tina Fey’s work, but I’ve got to say – have you read her describe her work schedule/hours? It’s insane. I cannot even imagine having time for one child with that schedule (I’m not singling her out; I feel the same way about Brooke Shields. 14 hour days? Most kids are only *awake* 13-14 hours a day…)! I’m sure that basically only seeing your child on the week-ends (except for snatches of time on set or a few min at bedtime and then back to the grind) would make a lot of people think twice about adding in yet another little one. It sounds exhausting.

It does seem like, overall, parenting in A-List Hollywood is just a different thing altogether. It’s not just a nanny/no-nanny or WOH versus SAHM situation… it literally seems like some of these stars have just a different kind of paticipation level in their kids’ daily lives. Hard for me to imagine, but then again, I’m 24/7 with my three, even when I just crave a little space sometimes, LOL.

- lauralee on December 3rd, 2008

We have an only child Manley Fields Major and he is the love of our life. Everyone comments on how is so sweet he is and that he sure doesn’t act like an only child-meanwhile my neighbor has 3 hellons and another on the way-she has no business having another one since she can’t discipline the 3 she already has! Its always DRAMA with them!!!!

- kimberly on December 3rd, 2008

I really appreciate her honesty. I couldn’t agree more with her post-partum description. As much as I want another little one, doing the first nine months or so again scares me! I envy women who take so easily to motherhood — it’s not me! But MAN am I enjoying it now that mine is 2 1/2!!

- mmh on December 3rd, 2008

OK, as an only child, I just want to say that it SUCKS. Hanging around only your parents all the time and on trips is not so much fun. You can justify all you want by saying how great it is to have an only child, and for the parents it’s great and convenient but growing up with no siblings is lonely and sad. And having friends and cousins around is not the same. I am married and have 2 kids now, a five year old and an 11 month old. When my 5 year old turned 4 I knew I had to have another so she would not grow up alone. Wathcing them interact just melts my heart, they have such a sweet relationship already. I just think that if you are going to have 1, you have to have another if it’s physically possible.

- Kim on December 3rd, 2008

I have to say….every “only” I know DOES wish they had a sibling….I think more do than don’t…

- Nicki on December 3rd, 2008

I was an only child until I was 15 and I used to call myself a lonely child, but I think mainly that was because my parents weren’t very interested in having kids so I was alone most of the time. When my lil bro was born I was excited but at 15 I didn’t really need a sibling. Being an only child has its perks though, especially as I was the only child in my whole family for 20 years.

- Sydney on December 3rd, 2008

Kim- “And having friends and cousins around is not the same.” Uh, that’s not always true. My mother (who, as I mentioned in my previous post, is an only child) lived just down the street from her cousins, and they played together all the time.

She still has very fond memories of those times, and says her cousins were more like siblings to her than cousins (for that matter, she still considers them more like siblings than cousins!). She even says that she had “the best of both worlds” growing up.

She could be by herself if she wanted to, or she could go and play with her cousins.

- CelebBabyLover on December 3rd, 2008

I remember Tina mentioning that her mother had her in her early 40′s, and conceived naturally to boot! I wonder if Tina had another, if they would incorporate it into 30 Rock somehow. A pregnant Liz Lemon would be hilarious.

And I have not seen them posted anywhere, but here are some new shots of little Alice:

http://tina-fey.org/photos/displayimage.php?album=222&pos=1

http://tina-fey.org/photos/displayimage.php?album=222&pos=0

- Lucy on December 4th, 2008

I am an only because my parents divorced before they got a chance to have another child. I would describe my childhood as not that pleasant, but looking back I would say that was because my parents are career oriented people, not family oriented people. (Heck if I can figure why they had me to begin with!) I would guess that life as an only is a lot more unpleasant when parents want to HAVE a family as opposed to BE a family. I don’t think being an only is inherently awful, depends on the reasons and how the parents play it.

- Elizabeth on December 5th, 2008

I was an only child – my parents were both older when they married, so having me was something of a surprise for them! I loved being an only child, frankly. My daughter will (hopefully) not be an only, but if she is, I won’t be sad about it.

- beatrice on December 5th, 2008

Her daughter is adorable. If Tina and her husband really want another child I hope that they’re able to make it work.

- terri on December 7th, 2008