Nicole Kidman Calls Childbirth an 'Extraordinary Thing'

10/30/2008 at 01:00 PM ET

For many years, Nicole Kidman suspected that she’d never get to experience childbirth. Now that she’s welcomed daughter Sunday Rose, 3 ½-months, the 41-year-old actress says she feels that — as a woman — "giving birth to a child … is what we’re born to do." She tells Parade,

"I don’t mean that to sound sexist, because many women don’t get to do it, and I thought I was one of them. But at the same time, if you are given that gift, it’s an extraordinary thing."

Nicole became emotional when talking about the "primal" need she has to keep her daughter "very protected." That’s why she and husband Keith Urban have thus far decided to forego an introductory photoshoot with Sunday. "People say, ‘Oh, it would be so much easier if you’d just let them get a photo of her,’" Nicole said. "And I can’t. I’m like, ‘I don’t want to. I want her to stay out of that.’" Although her stance may change "as [Sunday] gets bigger," for now Nicole says she is "still keeping her in a bubble."

"I’m raw and emotional. I cry even thinking of her. But they are tears of joy."

Click ‘more’ to read about how Nicole approaches parenthood differently as an older mom.

As she has stated previously, despite the overwhelming joy she feels at having become a mom to Sunday, Nicole views motherhood at 41 as "very bittersweet." Already a parent to Isabella Jane, 15, and Connor Antony, 13, with ex-husband Tom Cruise, Nicole said that her relationship with death "used to be far more ambivalent" — now, it is "very much about staying in the world."

"I think, ‘I want to see her 21st birthday, and I want to see her get married’…Strangely enough, I think when you have children at 25, you still have that ‘what will be, will be’ attitude. It’s such a different way of parenting. Bella and Connor were very free and easy, probably because they had parents who were very young and jumping around the world and pretty easygoing."

The timing of Sunday’s birth has proven to be powerful for Nicole, who notes that as Bella and Connor enter their formative years she and Tom have "taken them … almost into their adult life." To begin motherhood anew, then, has given her a new perspective. "To have a birth child that I have to take into adult life, give her her wings, it’s a big purpose," Nicole explains. "I know my place." While Sunday resembles Keith, the Oscar winning actress — who said she is "totally devoted" to her daughter — isn’t complaining.

"I’m glad, because when [Keith] goes on tour, I say to him that he leaves a little bit of him with me."

Source: Parade

FILED UNDER: News , Parenting

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dsmom on

Im confused as to why she would accentuate the “birth child” bit? It really shouldn’t matter right?

Sheron on

I agree. There was something a little off-putting about that portion of the interview. I guess I was thinking about Isabella and wondering what she would feel reading this. I understand the experience is wonderment as I have 2 children myself via “childbirth” but…I don’t know. Anyway, it’s evident that she loves her baby and congrats to her!

Kara on


I agree with your post. Connor and Bella are much of her children as Sunday.

Harley on

It’s different starting a child from scratch than a child who is a few months old, etc. There are new things to learn and some things she will find to be similar and others are different. Adopting children doesn’t teach you what your body can handle, a birth child does. I’m by no means saying adopted kids are any less loved or appreciated, it’s the connection you have from finding out you’re pregnant that makes a birth child different.

Jeannette on

I think Nicole was trying to point out how the body emotions feel between giving birth biologically and adopting. Not about love.

As for me, I really love this quote: “I’m glad, because when [Keith] goes on tour, I say to him that he leaves a little bit of him with me.” That is such a sweet quote!

Kara on

I don’t see anywhere in those quotes that she is talking about her body when reffering to her as “birth child.” I always feel so sad for Connor and Bella. They

Gina on

I dont know… as an adopted child myself, I am always disappointed when the media ( or anyone) refers to children that have been adopted as “adopted” As in…heres so and so’s children, this one biological and these two adopted. I cant believe that we segregate children! Media should just say “CHILDREN” who cares of they are adopded or biological?

Ashleigh on

Keith & nicole, are great parents to their little baby 🙂

hillary on

I take it as less about a difference between the kids and more about the difference of being 15 years older. No matter how long Nicole lives, Sunday will have had several fewer years with Nicole than Bella and Connor have.

Mrs. R. on

I wasn’t surprised when Nicole refused to take pictures with Sunday when she was first born. She didn’t with her other children – for YEARS Tom and Nicole kept their chidren out of the spotlight. I think that’s also why it didn’t surprise me when Tom didn’t have pictures of Suri all over the place. I think it genuinely shocked him that media coverage of Suri was so different than it was for his first two kids. I think he and Nicole (separately) underestimated how huge the demand for newborn pictures is now, and that the paparazzi will stake out until they get some. I feel kind of sorry for all the celebrities for having to push pictures of their kids early. I applaud any of them who say No until they are really ready (Halle Barry, for one).

Sheri on

Gina … I completely agree with you! I literally cringe every time I read in an article or hear the media refer to children as “their adopted child, etc.” It is so unfair and cruel to adopted children and it seems stigmatizing. Having said that, I don’t think Nicole meant it in that way – but I do hope she is still giving Bella and Connor the same attention now that she’s giving to little Sunday.

carie on

bleh. I just can’t get into her interviews anymore. It’s as if the other two kids are just side projects now or something.

DiamondGirl on

Saying it’s different doesn’t mean she’s saying it’s better.

Just like having a boy is different from having a girl.

Nicole has never exposed her first two children as they were growing up.

It was more the whole circus that Tom created with Katie that made the Suri thing such a frenzy.

Sarah on

I just read the Parade interview and I don’t know who wrote it, but that was kinda horrible. Nicole handled it beautifully and said nothing wrong. But the author felt the need to mention not once, but twice that Bella and Connor were adopted and that Sunday was her “first child.” I know these magazines are all about sensationalism, but really? We all know that the older kids are adopted. There is no need to mention it in EVERY article about Tom and Nicole.

It seems that in every article, the interviewer is always prodding for some big scandal and trying to prove that Tom and Nicole love their biological children more. I feel bad that these two have to constantly defend their choices as parents. Obviously they are different parents than they were in their twenties. But, Tom and Nicole don’t love their kids differently, no matter how much the media wishes they did. No wonder those kids stay away from the spotlight. The media has been pretty cruel to them.

mumof2 on

“I think when you have children at 25, you still have that ‘what will be, will be’ attitude. It’s such a different way of parenting.”

I disagree. I had my first child at 22, my second at 24, and I have the same fears and concerns for my children’s future as any mother of any age would. Just because I’m a “younger” mother doesn’t mean I have a flippant attitude to parenting.

Sheri on

And your experience would be different at 40. I have 3 boys – 17, 15 and 8. As a person, I changed between my first two and my third, and I’ve heard that statement echoed from all moms who have a wide gap between their kids.

BebeB on

I was mostly struck by Nicole’s comment that giving birth is what women are put on earth to do … I think she’s brave for voicing that. Having a child is such a life-altering thing, Nicole’s statement reminds me of how I first felt when I became a mother – that as proud as I was of my previous life and previous accomplishments, everything else paled in comparison. I wouldn’t generalise to the point of saying that giving birth is a woman’s most important purpose, but for me personally it is easily the best thing I have ever and will ever do.

Pete on

@Kara why do you feel sad for Connor and Bella, you don’t know what kind of upbringing they’ve had, all you know is what you see in the news.