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Oct 22 2008 10:30 AM ET
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Jada Pinkett Smith Teaches Kids to Find Happiness From Within

Courtesy Cookie

Achieving true inner happiness isn’t always easy, and can even elude some people for an entire lifetime, but Jada Pinkett Smith is doing what she can to ensure that that won’t be the case for her own two children Jaden Christopher Syre, 10, and Willow Camille Reign, 8 this month. In the November issue of Cookie magazine, on newsstands October 28, Jada says that she and husband Will Smith encourage a wide variety of activities with the hope of not only building their kids’ self-confidence, but also of helping them to discover the one thing that makes them happiest. Jada says she advises Willow, in particular, to always focus on her "own personal strength" and reminds her daughter that "as long as you compete with you and stay on the track that you want to be on, you’re going to be okay." She adds,

"I want them to feel good; I want them to smile. Once children feel great about being who they are, you don’t really have to worry about manners."

Speaking of the latter, the couple work hard to instill in Jaden and Willow a presence of mind and an awareness of their surroundings when it comes to minding their P’s and Q’s. "It’s not ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ just ‘because I told you so,’" the 37-year-old actress explains. "I tell them, ‘Every time you go out into the world, you are leaving an impression of yourself and this family with other people. What impression do you want to leave? Do you want people to think you are spoiled [rotten]?" It helps that both Jada and Will are "innately in tune" with one another when it comes to making decisions for their family; in those rare times they are not, Jada says that their shared dedication to compromise is key to making things work.

"We find solutions because that’s what we both want. There is no other option."

Click ‘More’ to read about Jada’s ‘Golden Rules of Parenting’ and to see more photos.

In the interview, Jada reveals the ‘Golden Rules’ of parenting she adheres to most strictly. Some — like eat dinner as a family every night, enlist help when you need it, and drink lots of water — require less effort than others. Among them? Respecting boundaries, which Jada says she believes will someday foster greater personal accountability in Jaden and Willow.   

"Staying out of kids’ space can teach them to be responsible for their own decisions and mistakes. Is it their room, or are they borrowing the space while they’re living in your house? If it’s theirs, then they should be able to do whatever they want with it. If it’s their clothes, they have the right to do whatever they want with those clothes. We have to give them some freedom to be who they are."

With that mindset comes an acceptance that not every disagreement is one worth having. To that end, Jada includes "choose your battles" as another rule she likes to follow. "Who is it going to hurt, really, ifshe has orange balloon pants on the red carpet?" Jada asks. "I try to stay outside my ego and what I want and to respect them as I expect them to respect me." Lastly, Jada says she aims to "expose and educate" the kids on a variety of topics, including religion.

"We go to church as a family on Sunday, but we study  world religion during the week as well. We read excerpts from the Bible, from Hindu texts, Kabbalah, Judaism…"

In addition to Jaden and Willow, Will is dad to 15 ½-year-old Trey, his son from a previous marriage.

Click here for more photos from the cover shoot.

Source: Cookie

Click here for yesterday’s cutie!

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Great article…love that they expose their kids to the differences of the world. And their approach on raising their kids is great.

- Jay on

a great interview with beautiful pictures. Willow is absolutely adorable. :)

- missi on

I love how grounded Will and Jada are with each other and in themselves. The Smith’s are one of my favorite celebrity families.

- Onyx Jones on

Willow looks exactly like her dad!! Very beautiful photos.

- JM on

What a beautiful cover photo and nice interview. Onyx I also really like the Smiths.

- Brandi on

This was my fav part of the entire article…”Who is it going to hurt, really, if she has orange balloon pants on the red carpet?” Loves it!

I like the outfit Willow has on in the picture of her riding her bike. Too cute. She’s a beautiful girl, and her mother is quite fabulous as well. I am by no means critizing because I believe we should let people parent their own children, but I’m not so sure I can get with letting my kids do WHATEVER they want with their room and clothes. Maybe I misunderstood what she meant though. Nevertheless, it was still a very interesting article. Thanks for posting.

- Destiny on

Very, very good interview! Will and Jada should write a parenting book. They have such great, common sense ideas.

- Stephany on

Jada and Willow seems to be very close and share a beautiful mom and daughter relationship which is so important in building self esteem in our young girls. May they always have this special bond. I love the whole family.

- Rosy J on

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