Jools Oliver Shares Her Fertility Struggle, Hopes For Another Girl

10/01/2008 at 08:00 AM ET
Mike Marsland/WireImage

Despite being pregnant for the third time, Juliette ‘Jools’ Oliver still can’t fathom having a growing baby inside her tummy and often shares the excitement with her husband, celebrity chef Jamie Oliver. "I still got up in the morning and said to him, ‘I haven’t slept! I can’t believe I’ve got something inside of me,’" says Jools who shares, "that feeling of another life happening … it feels more weird this time."

While the couple are elated that they are expecting their third child — due April 1st — the path to achieve their dream hasn’t been an easy one. Battling polycystic ovaries, Jools became pregnant with the couple’s first child, Poppy Honey, now 6, after three months of Clomid — a fertility drug that helps to establish normal ovulation — but received a pleasant surprise when Jools found out she was pregnant again with their second child, Daisy Boo, now 5, with no outside help. Recently admitting that they have been trying to get pregnant naturally for quite some time, they finally decided to turn to Clomid again in the hope of conceiving. In order for the couple to be together since Jamie is often on the road, Jules shares she was "getting trains and I was knackered and thinking, ‘All this just to do the do.’" After "dreading every month" with the strong drug, that for Jools caused her "dizziness and funny vision and moody and spots," and fearing that she would have to undergo a more intensive treatment, Jools was beyond thrilled when she discovered she was pregnant.

"The line was so faint that I convinced myself it couldn’t, it wasn’t true…I still didn’t believe it so I kept drinking water and doing more tests. It got to 4 a.m. and I’d got four positive results, so I thought, it must be fine!"

The 33-year-old former model — who reveals that "it wasn’t great having children [to look after] when you’re that hormonal" on fertility drugs — says that despite Jamie wanting a boy, she is actually hoping for a third daughter! Saying, "If I’m really honest, I’d like another girl," Jools doesn’t understand why people’s gender preference is a big deal. "People reckon we shouldn’t say that, but I don’t know what the big deal is. I don’t think there is any harm in it," she explains.

Given the results of last week’s sound off, it seems like the majority of CBB readers agree with her!

Source: Grazia Magazine via Daily Mail

FILED UNDER: Maternity , News

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Showing 62 comments

fay on

does knackered mean intoxicated? or horny? or what does it mean… that wld have been the better question, eh?

Jenna on

Haha, knackered means really tired. Its a common word over here. I hope they have another girl, can’t see them with a boy! Im thinking a Lily or Rose? :)

Abbey on

I love their daughter’s names and I can’t wait to hear what they’re going to name new baby. while i am morally against fertility treatments, but it’s still delightful that they’re having a little one.

Now I want to see people criticize her for wanting a girl . . .

Lucy on

Morally against fertility treatments? Why? Are you against all medicine?

Renee on

Lucy, I was wondering the same thing. I haven’t heard many people say that. Anyway, congrats again on the pregnancy. I’m starting to really want to name a future daughter, if that happens, Poppy. It’s such a cute name.

amanda on

Some of us don’t have the luxury of our bodies naturally doing it’s job – I’m on Clomid right now along with a HCG shot – all I want is to be blessed with a baby, no matter how I get one – and there’s nothing wrong with that. I wish them the best of luck and hopefully my treatments work this time. I’d love to just have it happen for me but as it didn’t work out that way I’m so grateful I have other options. Good for them for being honest with their struggles.

Susan on

Sure, I think it is easy to be “morally” against infertility treatments – if you have never struggled with infertility. Try to be open minded – you might be surprised how wonderful it feels.

(and no, I am not new agey. I work 9-5 in a cubicle). :)

CTBmom on

Amanda,
I am hoping you will leave another message to tell us why you are morally against fertility treatments? I have a genetic disorder, where I was born without eggs…so I chose to go the adoption route and was blessed with my now 11 year-old son. If a woman has the courage to go through all the shots,pills, and doctor’s appointments and the usual disappointments the first couple attempts, doesn’t that show her true desire to become a mother? What is morally wrong with using available medical procedures to make your dreams of having a baby a reality? I am not attacking you, I really would just like to know your reasoning behind your being against fertility treatments.

kendrajoi on

I also like the name “Poppy” for a little girl- it’s cute.
I have not had fertility issues (yet- I have one child and would like to have one more, so who knows?), but I feel for those who do, so Amanda, I am hoping you get the baby you would love to have, no matter how you go about it!

Kristin on

What is with the comment “morally against fertility treatments”?? For some of us that is all we have to conceive a child!

Ekaterina on

I love both of them. It’ll be interesting to see what they get–to see who wins in the guessing game! Their girls are gorgeous!

As for the fertility talk–my parents struggled with infertility before they were blessed with me and my brother back to back. They were even in the process of adopting a child from Guatemala when she got pregnant with me. And even after all of that, I was born very sick. Looking back they both realize how lucky they were and how being able to have children of your own should never be taken for granted. However, you are able to go about it. I’ve never quite understood the moral objection to fertility treatments since most forms of medicine come with some sort of the “playing god” aspect. It saddens me too that this moral objection always seems to be focused solely on women’s reproduction. You don’t really seem to see objection to much older men using viagra and its along the same lines.

Bottom line is that no one, no matter what, should be judged for how they are able to have a child. It’s your choice and your child.

Kym on

CTBmom Amanda didn’t say she was against it Abbey did.
And Jenna we are now resorting to naming celebrities babies for them.
Sometimes the people on this board just leave me shaking my head.

Lucy on

I’ll be honest, I used to be morally opposed to fertility treatments until I became infertile myself. I never really understood that emptiness, and if anything I now encourage people to seek help.

My reasoning was political, but I’ve also changed my stance on personal politics as I’ve matured. There’s a big difference between thinking you know everything at 18 and actually living life by the time you’re 25!

Car on

It is refreshing and admirable to hear ‘celebrities’ discuss infertility and fertility treatments openly. It is a heartbreaking condition, treatment is hugely expensive if insurance does not cover it, and emotionally and physically draining.

Thank gawd the moralists do not have a say in infertility treatments. 11 IVF treatments over an 8 year period eventually helped me achieve my 2 adorable daughters. My life would be nothing without them and I am eternally grateful for the medical assistance I needed. Nothing morally wrong in that at all !!!

heehee, knackered is slang for totally exhausted.

CTBmom on

OOPs. I just realized that I got my names mixed up. My post should have been to Abbey, not Amanda….sorry about that!

Michelle on

I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say they’re morally against fertility treatments. I was fortunate enough to conceive both my children w/out help, but if I couldn’t have, you bet I would’ve gotten whatever help I needed.

As for her comments (or other celebs who say they have a preferance), I think some readers get upset because either they have had trouble conceiving and would feel blessed just to have a baby no matter the sex or maybe it comes across to some people that the celeb will be disappointed if the baby is not the gender they were hoping for.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with having a preferance, but I didn’t say anything to anybody becuase even though I would NOT have been disappointed either way, I didn’t want anyone thinking I would be.

Kate on

Being morally against all fertility treatments is being morally against eye glasses. Both use modern technology to overcome a physical impairment. I can understand being morally against procedures that discard embryos because many people believe life begins at conception, but even the Catholic Church teaches that drugs like clomid or surgery for blocked tubes are morally acceptable.

Kerri on

I know some religions have a problem with fertility treatments, particularily because they view discarded or unused embryos as living babies. I used to be Catholic and I know that the official position of the church is against fertility treatments (I never agreed with that stance, which isn’t surprising, given that I’m not Catholic anymore).

Stéph on

I also like the name Poppy and Daisy is cute too. I wonder how they came up with the name Boo.

vicky on

I don’t see how use of medicine for fertility treatments is wrong. If human beings were not meant to use fertility treatments, we would never have had the capacity to develop them. I feel this way about all medicine

Sammy-xx on

I love this couple so much.
We had a rabbit called Daisy-Boo and about a month after we got her Jools had Daisy-Boo so everyone thought we named out rabbit after her.

Molly on

Some people I think are against fertility treatments because they think if God wanted people to have children, then they would. I don’t believe that. I think if a couple can’t have children, they should be able to have fertility treatments. I don’t have any kids of my own, but I’m glad I have that option if I have issues with my fertility.

Natt on

From reading her book, I was under the impression she only used Clomid for her first baby and never did full IVF?

Kate on

I’m not Catholic (and never have been), but the church’s stance is based on conception outside of the act of intercourse (such as IVF or IUI). Officially, they do not have a problem with ovulation induction, as long as the resulting pregnancy comes about due to intercourse.

If people are morally opposed to infertility treatment, that’s fine, your body, your choice. As long as those people do not try to interfere with my or anyone else’s right to utilize medicine in this way, I say all the more power to you. I only hope that you never have to bear the pain that infertility brings.

I am 8 months pregnant with my first after using injectables combined with “timed intercourse” after one successful cycle with Clomid (miscarriage) and about 6 total unsuccessful cycles with Clomid.

Abigail on

i am completely open minded, i just think people should turn to adoption rather than spending thousands of dollars on fertility medications.

i’m also an atheist, so this has nothing to do with any higher power. and i am infertile, so thanks.

Abigail on

by the way, i’m not judging anyone, and if that’s how it sounds i apologize. I am personally just against all fertility treatments, which includes drugs, shots, surrogacy, & etc. if someone wants to spend thousands of dollars to get a biological child, well, whatever. i believe in a woman’s right to choose, but you could also spend that money adopting one of the bazillions of children starving to death all over the world and it bothers me when people complain about fertility when there are already children in desperate need of a family. i would also like to reiterate that i am, in fact, infertile.

being morally against fertility treatments is like being morally against eyeglasses? come on, now. that’s just far-fetched. that’s like saying just because something is available that everyone should use it and believe it in. i’m not criticizing anyone for their choices, don’t criticize me for my beliefs.

kate on

Abigail,

Adoption is very expensive and nearly impossible for most couples. For every baby up for adoption there are many more couples wanting to adopt. It takes years on waiting lists and thousands of dollars. And in the end the birth mother usually changes her mind.

Abigail on

Kate,

Adopt a child that isn’t white. there are an abundance of older, non-white children just waiting for a mom and dad all over North America, Mexico, South America, and the rest of the world. it is expensive but a) there are tax breaks and b) you’d be spending just as must on fertility treatments.

LanLan on

To Kate,

there are NOT more couples waiting to adopt than there are children. There are many millions of children of all ages waiting to be adopted just that couples tend to discriminate on the basis of age when considering adoption. Of course if you decide you can only accept a child who is newborn then you’ve obviously made things difficult for your own self seeing as many unwanted babies are sadly aborted. There’s no use anyone complaining about waiting lists if they’ve brought the problem on themselves by their own narrow minded demands.
As for spending thousands of dollars, well people spend thousands of dollars in the blink of the eye on IVF industry which is an utterly unreliable so why can’t they spend it on a child that’s already here?

Oh, I’m too against certain types of IVF.

carie on

I agree with you, Abigail. I truly don’t get the idea of spending years and thousands of dollars on treatments to have “your own” as they say…but, that’s just me. To each their own.

paula on

I have three children, two conceived through IVF, and one came to us through international adoption. I’m also a practicing Catholic an have been all my life. Obviously I think it’s wonderful when people decide to adopt, but I also realize that adoption is not for everyone, and for some women, the desire to carry a child is extremely strong. Even though I was ecstatic to build my family through adoption, I still felt strongly that I wanted to experience pregnancy. I’m sure many women feel the same and they should not be made to feel guilt or shame if adoption is not right for them.

Michelle on

LanLan,
I think you’re being very harsh on people just because some may want to adopt a newborn. That’s their right, just as it is if they choose to have a biological child. And if they want to spend their money on fertility treatments, that’s also their right. Who is anyone to judge what people spend their money on? Look at the celebrities who spend thousands of dollars on a diamond studded dog collar for a pet. That, I think, is wasteful. But for someone trying to have a child — I don’t see anything wrong with that.

meghan on

To Stéph,
My thought–and I could be wrong!–is that Boo is used sometimes a nickname of endearment, like honey. So I figured they were going with a ‘theme’ with the names. A flower first name and an endearment for the midle name. Adorable!

Penny on

I agree with abigal. If you adopt internationally there are far more children availabe. With Ivf you have to pay for each attempt quite expensive if it ends up taking you 5 times. As for internationally adopting, you are defiantly getting a child. And it normally cost between 10-20 thousand, so a lot cheaper in comparison.

momsquared on

These comments about adoption are very naive. Adoption, even international adoption in “high need” countries is quite expensive. My sister-in-law just spent $20,000 dollars just in “paper work” and she still has another 10 grand to go and she is still on the waiting list after 2 years and will take an older child and/or a child with a disability.

The process of adoption is not a second choice, it a choice, plain and simple and should not be looked upon as “just adopt”. There is nothing “just” about it. Children are not waiting on a shelf like the canned goods at your local 7-11.

It is not the responsibility of infertility people to adopt the children waiting for families. I could easily say, “just adopt” to perfectly fertile couple who is popping out babies like a crack whore.

People need to research adoption before making ridiculous comments that display their ignorance of the process.

Adoption is a frustrating, demanding, expensive, emotionally draining process just like IVF and just like IVF there is no guarantee that you will take home a child.

It also very difficult to adopt a child, even an older child or one with a disability if you are Gay, over the age of 45, have a disability yourself (no matter how mild), are single, are not the same race as the child (happens a great deal in the U.S.) or considered to have not enough income (like god-forbid you should be considered working-class).

Just because you hear 1 or two stories about the neighbor down the block who got a White newborn after only waiting 2 months from paperwork to baby–that IS NOT THE NORM.

Ethiopia, which is said to have the shortest wait-period is still a 1 year wait AFTER the paper-work is completed. And my White, well-off, SINGLE friend still had her paper work held up, because she was single and because Ethiopia thought she was trying to pass herself off as Black, because she had a black-sounding name, though they had a MILLION pictures of her. Just plain insane and arbitrary the whole adoption system in this country and other countries.

Think before your type, the non-sensical “just adopt”. Or better yet visit the IVF connections Vet board and you will read some great retorts to smug fertiles who say….why don’t you just adopt?

Kate on

International adoption is also exrtremely expensive and difficult. There are many hurdles to jump through and the requirments are very strict. Also, it’s very risky. Many children adopted overseas have issues such as FAS and other behavioral problems. I think people without fertility problems have some nerve judging people for wanting to raise a child from an infant. They have no idea the difficulty involved in raising an older adopted child. Why is it the responsibility of the infertile to care for difficult to place children?

Kate on

Also, even if adoption weren’t extremely difficult, NOTHING compares to carrying and giving birth to a biological child!

Yella on

Adoption is not that easy. For those that say just adopt, well I tried to “just adopt” and was rejected based on my race, and that alone. I still spent thousands of dollars just to be rejected for something so trivial.

So don’t say “just adopt”, it’s easier said than done. Now I feel that I was burned by the adoption process, and vow never to try again especially internationally.

Folks should think before they speak. No matter how one brings a child into their family, I doubt it’s always that “easy”.

momsquared on

Oh and adoption agencies will turn you down if you are over weight, a single-man, took some prozac while a freshman in college 20 YEARS AGO, not the “proper” religion, have older children, have pets, under weight, ever temporarily separated from your spouse, BUT GOT BACK TOGETHER and have been happy ever sense, oh and if you have any arrests on your record, EVEN IF YOU PROVED WITH A JUDGES SIGNATURE THAT YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING, you can forget it.

They can even turn you down for being a vegetarian. Oh, and you better hope that distant, many generations and marriages removed bi-polar cousin on your step-father’s side doesn’t come up during the psych evaluation.

If you think people should adopt, then live by your own statement and go out and do it and show the rest of us just how easy it is (snark). Prove yourself before asking someone else to “just adopt”.

CTBmom on

Kate,
NOTHING may compare to carrying and giving birth to a biological child…but you know what, when I look at my son(who is adopted) and he looks at me with his big blue eyes and killer smile, I have to say I am more than happy with my NOTHING. :-)

Kate on

I am the first Kate that posted (the one who used injectables).

1. To the other Kate, don’t say that adoption doesn’t compared to giving birth to a biological child. They are two different experiences, and have no reason to be compared, but neither is more powerful than the other. Saying so is just as judgemental as what others are saying. Also a child adopted internationally has just as much chance as having FAS as a child adopted domestically.

2. International adoption is just as expensive as domestic adoption. The wait is slightly shorter (unless you are adopting a non-white baby domestically), but that’s depending on the country you choose.

3. Infertility treatment isn’t always more expensive than adoption (in fact, I’d say it was the other way around). Their are increments and levels, some insurance coverage, and unless you have to go through numerous failed IVF cycles, you’d be paying less than you would for an adoption, domestic or international. Whoever had the idea that international adoption costs 10-20 thousand, that number is way off.

4. Adoption is something you have to go into with your whole heart. If it’s not right for you, it’s not right, and that doesn’t mean you are selfish or will only accept a biological child. Why would anyone advocate for someone adopting a child they weren’t truly invested in and wanted?

Abigail, I respect your beliefs about what you would do for yourself. But your comments do sound dismissive of people who have chosen or would choose differently.

carie on

Momsquared…much of what people have posted here about adoption lists and costs are true….just b/c their or their friends’ experiences aren’t like the one you described, that doesn’t make them naive.

In fact, I could easily send you about several hundred links to adoption blogs, detailing all the minutae of their experiences, that will dispute every single thing you’ve just typed…in both posts! The point is, different agencies, different countries…offer different experiences. Whosever experience you’re describing is not “every single adoption experience.”

carie on

I just want to clarify that I believe all that happened. I’m just pointing out that not all, in fact MANY experiences are are NOT like that. It’s absolutely not naive to discuss that.

paula on

Both pregnancy and adoption are special miracles, just different special miracles.
Saying that nothing compares to one over the other, is just ignorance.
Having experienced both, I honestly can’t say that one tops the other. But I truly wanted to do both.

Louise on

stept (and i think meghan)…both the girls’ middle names are jamie and jools’ nicknames for one another,although i cant remember which way round!

not gonna get into the whole adoption / ivf debate,but i believe each to their own, and people shouldn’t be critisised for trying EVERY available route before turning to adoption, which is basically what most people are saying from what i gather.

congrats to jamie and jools, i’m really pleased they managed to get pregnant again after trying for a while x

Abbey on

two beautiful, amazing little girls I nannied for were adopted and, if their parents had decided not to adopt them, they would be dead. literally, they were starving when they were adopted. for me, that was my turning point. I decided then I would not have biological children because there were so many children in the world who needed a home. That is my personal decision, my personal belief.

So, please, point out a comment I made that sounds dismissive to anyone. if I said that all people who use IVF or fertility treatments were wrong, sure, attack me, but i never said that. by stating that I PERSONALLY THINK fertility treatments are morally wrong, that is not being dismissive, it’s just an opinion. I’m a vegetarian & an atheist for MORAL reasons. Those are personal OPINIONS. for example, several members of my family and friends have gone through IVF. i don’t lecture them and they respect my beliefs just as I don’t lecture people for eating meat when I am a vegetarian. my parents are “born again” christians and I am an atheist. we can respect each other. My personal statement about ME morally objecting to fertility treatments was not an attack on anyone (just a statement) and, frankly, I feel quite attacked by people who disagree.

here is something dismissive though: i don’t have the same opinion as you! get over it! amazingly, there are other people in the world that actually disagree with you. get over it.

I am aware the difficulties of adoption, but there are just as many when you go through IVF and not every adoption experience is the same. several of the same families who have gone through IVF multiple times have ended up adopting, which took a long time and was quite difficult.

i firmly believe in adoption above fertility treatments and chose not to have biological children well before i found out i was infertile. and if i can’t adopt because I’m on anti-depressants? than i’ll just live without having children.

Abbey on

momsquared

Sorry you were so offended, but I am allowed to have my own beliefs. get a life.

Aren’t people allowed to morally object to abortion? Are people not allowed to object to gay marriage? I am personally objecting to fertility treatments, not attacking anyone for having them.

i never adoption was easy. again, get a life and actually read what I wrote.

eva on

“Even if adoption weren’t extremely difficult, NOTHING compares to carrying and giving birth to a biological child!”

I agree. Also NOTHING compares to the moment when your adoptive child,the little one who didn’t know you from day one and passed from hand to hand before being yours comes to your house and finds out she/he is HOME and with her/his MOTHER.I am fertile and have good chances of carrying a healthy child to term,but I choose not to experience it and instead have all the beauty and the sweetness of life through adoption.Nothing is missing in my life.

eva on

Another comment(sorry).If you have your mind and heart set on being pregnant and having a bio child,go for it girls!I know for some people it’s hard to get their minds around fertility treatments because of its costs and potential cultural significance,but there’s controversy and opinions about ANY topic and desicion!

If a tiny voice inside tells hopefull parents that adoption is not in their hearts then don’t try it and fight hard for your bio kid, technology is more and more on your side and I honestly celebrate with every woman who defeats a bad prognosis for pregnancy.

Adoptive children are not second best or the consolation price.If that’s the way they are going to be seen by their own family then refrain.If people are not completely on board with adoption chances are a lot of regrets and frustrations will fall on the little one who did not ask to be A)Born and B)Adopted.

If you know you won’t love and cherish an adoptive child as is her/his right to be loved and cherished,stay on track with fertility treatments.Its best for all families to do only and everything that is their to give.Love cannot be forced.

fay on

abigail and lan lan don’t let these ppl get u down… i too have a moral issue w/ fertility treatments and surrogacy and all of that other stuff… i am pregnant now, and if not for this little “surprise” i don’t think i’d EVER carry a child… i’m really not interested… if i cld have this baby today (i’m only 13 weeks) and know it had a chance, i’d surely elect for that option… HOWEVER.. these ppl who are talking abt the multiple thousand dollars it costs to adopt have obviously never contacted their local dept of family services… because i know the counties i’ve lived in… hennepin and ramsey in minneapolis/ st. paul, fulton county in atlanta, and orleans parish in new orleans will basically PAY YOU to adopt a child… they make it as easy and painless as possible…

and i don’t know… maybe if u’re not getting one biologically, and it’s not happening via the adoption option… maybe it’s just not for you… and sometimes that’s okay too…

Kelly on

has anyone else seen a recent picture of their girls? i just did & if i didnt know better i would say they were twins! & ive got to say their names just sound kind of like the kind you would hear in a romance novel personally

Bec on

Fay, maybe you should give your child up for adoption since there are plenty of people who would welcome a child into there lives with joy and excitement….since your “really not interested” in having a baby. If you are excited about your baby im sorry for mistaking it for utter carelessness. I have a friend who is devestated she cant concieve naturally and there are plenty of people out there like you who seem to not appriciate how lucky you are to carry a child of your own.

Kerry-Ann on

I am really happy for them. And I love the girls names. So cute.

CTB mom, I also have a genetic disorder called Turners Syndrome where I don’t have eggs and will also go through fertility treatment.

Lorus on

The three rounds of clomid to conceive my first daughter cost us about $150. Cost of adoption? $20k. Can’t really compare! I would adopt in a heartbeat if the costs were more around $5k.

I’m lucky that my first pregnancy “restarted” my body. I didn’t need any “help” conceiving our second daughter.

Sarah on

I think someone asked near the top about the name Boo – It’s Jools mother’s nickname

Brandi on

fay, do you realize how insensitive your comment sounded? if you desperately want a child, but have difficulty conceiving, than maybe being a parent is “not for you?” yet you are “not that interested” but go on to tell us you are currently pregnant accidentally. come on.

momsquared on

I never said I was describing every single adoption experience, if someone had fantastic luck with an easy adoption good for them. I think it’s wonderful! But for smug fertiles to throw around, the NAIVE, I just read The Secret, so I know what I’m talking about, “just adopt” or “spend your money on adoption”, or New Orleans is paying people to adopt (as if children are being given away at a food pantry after you filled out a 1 page appllication) is ridiculous.

I don’t question what people do with THEIR money. If they want to spend it on fertility treatments or adoption, or both it is THEIR CHOICE and their hard earned money, valuable time, and emotional wants and needs.

But it sickens me when people speak about adoption with such authority, googled a couple of third-party facts, and then believe it is the JOB of infertile people to ADOPT all the children who need homes. It is smugness and naivety and I stand by it.

That’s why anyone that says, just adopt to my sister-in-law, I jump right in a say, why don’t you…and watch them stammering all over their words.

There is nothing easy about adoption, whether your wait-time was 5 weeks or 5 years, it’s a difficult process and I commend anyone who goes through it. And wait-time is the least of this process.

I happen to have biological children and the fertility of a crack whore and it gets on my nerves the stuff people say to those struggling with infertility. That God’s Plan, b.s. really gets on my nerve. I always respond, so it’s God’s plan that a newborn baby needs to detox from Heroin addiction because his mother wouldn’t stop using. As soon as someone says God’s plan, I shut them down with the quickness.

I think life is unfair. Plain and simple. Some bad people get to have children and abuse them and mess them up, and some good people don’t ever get to have children to shower with love and protection. God ain’t got nothin’ to do with it.

amanda on

momsquared – here here!! i agree with you. I think it’s horrible that people say if you can’t have one it’s cause god didn’t want you to” – you summed it up perfectly.. just because our bodies betrayed us doesn’t mean we would not make awesome moms – the fact that we’re willing to do all of those things to get pregnant, to have that child, to love that child – I would love to adopt if biologically it doesn’t work for me – but for me (thus far) my clomid has been covered by insurance and I want to give it a fair try. I think I, along with everyone else who struggles and would make an amazing mommy, deserves the chance. I stand by that.

IrishGirl on

Steph, Boo is Jamie’s nickname for Jools, I remember watching an interview with him after their second child was born and that’s what he said. It’s a great name.

Abigail on

i think people are getting really upset over no reason. some people chose to have children biologically and some people chose to have children through adoption. i honestly wasn’t trying to make an issue of this whole thing, but some people have chosen to make this an issue. some people are just against using fertility treatments. it’s a fact. I don’t believe the people here who have raised objections to these treatments were attacking anyone. frankly, by voicing our opinions i think we have been the ones who have been attacked.

and the fact that you read one book, momsquared, totally makes you an expert. it is MY CHOICE to be against fertility treatments and MY CHOICE alone. i’m not trying to convince you that you’re wrong, don’t try to make me feel bad for believing something different than you. we all have different beliefs and these beliefs should be respected. shame on you for attacking people who’s beliefs are different than yours.

and shame on you others for attacking Fay, when all she did was express HER opinion. she was talking about the pregnancy process, not about having being a mother. Fay, i understand where you are coming from because the whole pregnancy thing scares me and, frankly, is a bit gross from my point of view (although i’m sure i’ll get attacked for saying birthing is scary & gross).

This conversation has become petty, accusatory, and judgmental.

I will end my portion by saying congrats to the Olivers and congrats to all of the contributing CBB parents who have had or are currently having children responsibly.

MB on

My husband and I plan to start the adoption process next fall (I have a disorder that makes pregnancy risky, which is why we chose adoption). Kate, I wonder where you got the statistic that most birth mothers change their minds? I know it happens of course but never heard that the majority do. Adoption, as many others have stated, is very expensive. I don’t know if we’ll get approved even, given my medical history. However, in speaking with other adoptive moms I have learned there are several ways to adopt, with varying costs and wait times. One of my friends adopted from the county and it was only about $10,000 and the wait time to get a toddler, she was told, was just a few months (much longer for a baby). my husband and i may go this route because for the countries we were thinking of adopting from, the price is about $30,000 and we’d get a toddler anyway. we may also look to adopt a baby with cleft palate or other medical issue. not saying that anyone should go this route just to get a child faster, just that it’s an option i found out about.

no matter how you want to build your family, you should do it that way! if you want clomid, IVF, surrogacy, adoption of a baby, adoption of a teenager, whatever, go for it! the important part is that you are becoming a parent and building a beautiful family, but that should be done in the fashion that will make you most comfortable.

em on

Amen to everything momsquared has said. Nothing is easy about infertility. Ladies, did any of you perform a semen analysis on your husband before marrying him? What would you do if he was unable to conceive with you? Divorce him? Or turn to medical help? Or if you had a biological reason you could not conceive naturally? Give up, and “just adopt”? Or see if there was a way to try to conceive? Unless you personally have gone through an inexpensive and quick adoption of a healthy, non-drug addicted baby, quit your yapping about how simple it is. Don’t want to hear it. And if you think you understand infertility, follow momsquared’s advice and go to ivfc.com and read some of the most painful and heartbreaking stories out there.

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