So, as I was saying, I would not mind a girl either. Either way I’d be delighted to have a wonderful, healthy baby.

And for those comments of “everyone wishes for one gender or another…and if they say they don’t, they’re not being honest with themselves”????

Thanks for the idea, but you don’t know me! You have no idea what is in my heart. I have NEVER cared if I had a boy or a girl. I just have always wanted children…I waited MANY years (12 years, and two marriages..and many years before the FIRST marriage), just to have children!

I did NOT care what gender they turned out to be any more than a friend of mine who delivered a still-born child at 5 1/2 months gestation. Do you really think that SHE cared if her next child was a boy or a girl? After burying a child, I pretty darn sure (and was told exactly as much by her personally) that she didn’t give a darn WHAT she had!

Either way is fine with me, as long as you’re not saying what one co-worked used to say, “I ONLY want a girl; I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s a boy…I can’t stand the idea.” Now THAT, to me, is unacceptable!

That said, I have one of each and am just happy that they’re both healthy. HOWEVER, I’m very bugged that, when I tell people about wanting another (in the course of conversation), they ask “why? you have one of each!” That perturbs me! I wasn’t setting a goal, I wasn’t wanting to “try” each gender out! I just wanted healthy babies! I don’t care if they’re monkeys or have blue hair…I just want HEALTHY !

People want what they want, and no-one has the right to say they’re wrong, unless that want manifests itself into something that affects the child negatively. I have 2 boys and wanted a girl each time, but nothing in the world could persuade me to swap either of them for a girl even if I could.

The intensity of gender preference has changed in recent times. In the past people had many more children so most had both genders, so it just wasn’t an issue. They also had a lot bigger things to worry about like high infant mortality rates.

I don’t begrudge people their preferences. I’ve been there myself and it says nothing about the ability to be a good parent.

I want one more child and if it’s another boy, I’ll love him as much as the first two. Part of me would be sad for the idea I would have to lay to rest of the daughter I’d never have – a healthy 3rd child is the aim.

It’s also really confronting when people assume you’re disappointed if you have 2 boys. Yes a part of me wants a girl, but when people voice it as an assumption, it’s insulting to my sons, as though somehow they’re lesser, when they aren’t. “Oh you have to try for a girl.” isn’t helpful to anyone, no matter how innocently intended. I’d be silly to go into a third pregnancy assuming for a girl. I had to look deeply inside myself to ask if that’s why I wanted a third and the answer was no, that I would be happy with a 3rd boy. And so you have it.

I think it is natural for someone to lean twards one gender or another, but it make meeting your baby any less grand if he or she isn’t want you had your fingers crossed for. I’m a mom of 2 boys and currently trying for number 3. I’ve always been around baby boys (never even baby sitted for a girl) and am terrified of having a daughter cause I wouldn’t know what to do with her! But, if the stork gives us an XX instead of another XY, I am going to be just as happy. Any child is a blessing to a family.

I personally wants a babyboy if I ever have a child in the future. When I dream about my future child its always my little boy at 3 or 4 years old. So I guess I would be a little dissapointed at first if I found out I was having a babygirl. But offcourse after getting used to the thought of a girl I`m sure I would have loved her just as much as a boy. Afterall it would be my own child.

I don’t really see anything wrong with it. It just seems sad to me when people are almost upset when they don’t get what they want though. a friend of mine wouldn’t talk to anybody for 3 weeks after she found out she was having her 3rd boy. i think it’ natural to want to experiece each gender, but it’s weird to me when people just keep having kids to get that. i don’t know, i have the girl i always wanted so i don’t understand that mentality:)

I’m the oldest girl from a three daughter family. Even though my father has never, to even the slighest degree, hinted that he would have preferred a boy, I have found myself wondering if our gender was a disappointment. It’s not something that bothers me on a regular basis, but when I take notice of other people opening stating preferences, I begin to wonder about my own place in my family.

People have preferences. We’re human. But I do agree with others who have noted that there is a difference between saying ‘I’d like a boy/girl’ this time and becoming desperate for a particular gender.

My mother was the oldest daughter of a two girl family. Whereas my mother went on to have three girls, my aunt had two boys, and it is very obvious that in our extended family they are viewed as more important then me and my sisters. While the preference is often covert, my cousins somehow seem to have filled the void that my mother and aunt never could.

But where does that leave me and my sisters? Yes, we are loved. We would never doubt that, but it was very sad for us as little girls to realize how much our gender impacted our role in within the family.

My grandfather was excited to do boy things with my male cousins. Fish, hunt, sports. But funnily enough my younger sister is the only one in our family who continues to engage in outdoor sports actively (she was a way better fisherman then the rest of us ever were). I played competetive soccer and rugby, whereas my cousins preferred video games.

In the end, he ended up finding in us (my sisters and I), they very things he had hoped to get from a son/grandson.

How do ideas about femininity and masculinity get constructed? From the beginning of life, we are lead to believe that by being a boy or girl we will have to follow certain unwritten rules of what is expected of us based on our sex.

When people hope for a particular sex, they are, at least to some small degree, hoping for particular gendered characteristics, behaviour and/or personalities from their child.

My husband comes from a family of 6 kids, 5 boys and 1 girl. His mother was desperate for a girl, and it’s a well-known fact that if any of the kids had been a girl she would have simply stopped having kids.

His mom really wanted a true little girl of her own to have a special bond with, but as that little girl grew up, she did conform to what she should be. Of course she had the male influences, but to this day her mother and her don’t have the best relationship and she openly complains about the expectations her other had for her.

I always thought I’d jinx myself if I said outloud what I wanted. We have a daughter so with this second pregnancy everyone asked if we were hoping for a boy but I wouldn’t say a word. Lucky for us we found out that it is indeed a boy!