Guy Ritchie Surprised By His Love For Sons

Parenthood sometimes sends people into a whirlwind of emotions that they didn’t expect, and it’s no different for screenwriter/director Guy Ritchie,who proclaims that "fatherhood is unbelievable," and "it has taken over my life."  However, the 39-year-old was "surprised" that the love he feels for son David, 2 ½, wouldn’t be any different than what he feels for Rocco, 8 this week, because he welcomed him by adoption.

But something else surprised me –- how much you can love an adopted child, the same as you can love a biological child. I didn’t anticipate that.

Guy and his wife, performer Madonna, 49, have been married since December 22, 2000, and also raise Lourdes, 11½. Lourdes’ dad is Carlos Leon.

Source: The Daily Mail; Photo by Ron Asadorian/Splash News.

Comments

He didn’t expect he would love his adopted son as much as his biogical child ? Erm I’m glad things worked up fine then.

- Jade on August 10th, 2008

Funnily enough I’m not surprised, he’s always seem so great with Lourdes and she’s obviously crazy about him.

- stephanie on August 10th, 2008

I know Angelina Jolie talked about that feeling as well.

She was nervous when she had Shiloh because she felt the love she had for her first 2 kids might be different as with Shiloh and she was happy to find it was exactly the same.

- Mia on August 10th, 2008

Well I am sure he has to feel some kind of love for his step daughter as well so if he did it should come as no surprise that he could love any child whether it’s biological, adopted, or in Lourdes case his step child.

- JM on August 10th, 2008

Glad everything worked out the way it did for them in the end!

But the idea that someone would go into an adoption believing/expecting that they couldn’t love their adopted child as much as their biological child would make me nervous (for that child).

- Shaunie on August 10th, 2008

I don’t think what Guy is expressing is all that crazy a thought. It’s basically the thing we all go through when learning we’re pregnant with baby #2. You are just like, How on earth am I going to love this new baby as much as my first child? Guy is expressing the same thing in regards to biological vs adopted.

Besides, I think honesty about these things is always preferable to acting as though everything is sunshine and rainbows. Makes celebs slightly more relateable!

- Erica on August 10th, 2008

he probably thought more of the circumstances and the heritage of the child at the beginning. When a kid asks you questions because they need you and depends on you all that other stuff is left to the wayside. When someone is dependent on you and you are the one they turn to it makes you feel that it’s all worth it(parenthood). It shows what kind of stuff you are made of to lay down your life for your child.

- regina on August 10th, 2008

Really people, Guy is no poet so don’t expect Shakespeare to flow out of the man’s mouth. What he said can easily be taken out of context, but we all know what he meant. Lourdes is his wife’s daughter, therefor a part of her, with David it was obviously a bit different. The child has no blood connection to either of them, but I’m sure he was happily surprised to discover that love has no rules! I’m sure he KNEW he was going to love David, but he could be just a natural worrier…like myself and wondered “Oh my gosh, what if I don’t!”

Please don’t be one of those crazy’s who will stand in line to jump down this man’s throat. I’m proud of him for speaking his mind and for coming to the simple conclusion that there is nothing more wonderful than the love between a parent and child.

- Lilliness on August 10th, 2008

I love his honesty. I know a woman who was less honest. She was determined to adopt believing she’d be emotionally available to another child when most who knew her, and were familiar with her near worship of her only biological daughter were quite skeptical of that claim.

It wasn’t a surprise to most when the adopted child was constantly and openly compared, judged, and expected to act one way while the same rules never applied to the natural daughter.

Less than 6 months after the child came into their home, there was a much insinuated sense that she wanted to rescind it all, and even utilized the respite separation available to her which sent this 7yrld child back to the orphanage for I think 6wks to give everyone “a break.” It broke my heart. I wanted to go and get her myself and just put my ex friend out of her misery at getting a kid she didn’t want. I had nightmares worrying about that baby, and wondering what it would do to her already established feelings of rejection.

I trust someone from Guy’s stance who admits uncertanty. I remember seeing a photo of he and David early in their relationship. There was pure affection for the boy on Guy’s face. I trust less someone not taking into consideration the personality and pre adoption life of a child, and who really is looking at it all from a self centered “it will make me feel better” stance.

Sorry for the length.

- MaríaM2 on August 10th, 2008

That’s a pretty common fear for most first-time adoptee parents. No big deal to get worked up about.

- carie on August 10th, 2008

What he’s saying sounds completely normal, logical and understandable to me.

- Montoya on August 10th, 2008

i don’t even think he was saying he thought he’d love david less, just maybe differently. i think any parent goes through that. i’m pregnant with my first and i want this baby, but sometimes i have the thought omg what if i don’t love this baby, or if this baby doesn’t love me? i think it was nice that guy was honest. a totally natural fear to have. speaking out about it shows other people that it’s a normal fear but that things do work out.

- MB on August 10th, 2008

I think a lot of people who are adopting, especially if they already have biological children, will only find it natural to worry about how you are going to feel and whether things will be the same particularly in how you feel towards each child. I applaud him for being so honest. You can tell that the love he felt for David was pretty much instant in those pictures of him hoisting little David in the air soon after they took him home.

- Lilly on August 10th, 2008

I think Guy’s candidness is totally refreshing and natural. It’s definitely clear how much he loves David!

- Erica on August 10th, 2008

Some people are so rude…seriously.

I think ALOT of people wonder if you can love a child that’s not biologically yours the SAME exact way as you love a biological one. I think that’s the #1 reason people choose not to adopt or choose not to look at that as an option. It’s kind of like when parents worry about not being able to love a second child the same amount as your first….it just happens. I think he was just suprised that it happened so naturally…he loves david as if he was biologically his and it isn’t even a factor.

- ERICKA on August 11th, 2008

I think it’s very candid of him to admit to having feelings of worry or uncertainty about adoption. Unfortunately it is NOT a given that a parent will have the same feelings toward an adopted child that they do toward a biological one.
But I am thrilled that he does. Every child deserves to be loved and cherished.
Good for Guy Ritchie! Kids are cool

- Delilah on August 11th, 2008

I think Guy’s comments are very candid and helpful for those nervous about adopting due to the shame they might have over this secret worry about not feeling as close to an adopted child.

And I’m sure all the people here who are having a go at him for even having these concerns have probably never adopted a child of their own and are simply being judgmental for judgmental’s sake.

- Stef on August 11th, 2008

I can fully understand what he is talking about. My husband and I adopted our first son when we thought I was unable to concieve a child. From the first moment I laid eyes on that little boy I adored my son and loved him so much, he was my everything. But not even a year after he was adopted I found out I was pregnant. Through the whole pregnancy I was so terrified that for some reason when I saw this new little baby that was “biologically” part of my husband and I that I wouldn’t love my Oldest son as much anymore and I couldn’t wrap my head around that because I loved him so much already. It broke my heart, so much so that I was dreading the delivery of my unborn child.

I was relieved when my second son was born and I held him in my arms and realized there really was no difference. From the first moment I laid eyes on him I loved him too just as much as I loved his big brother, No more and No less. Love has no rules and my heart was big enough to accept both of these little boys into it as my sons. One of my sons might not have been born from my body but he was born into my heart the moment that I saw him.

Guy Richie is an amazing father and I think this will give other people who have been in the same situation comfort to know that other people have gone through this and everything turned out okay.

- Gillian on August 11th, 2008

I don’t know what the David’s heritage would have to do with that statement, but thankfully I seriously doubt that’s what he was referring to. I imagine he did feel apprehensive about how he would feel about his adopted son versus his biological son. That’s natural fear.

- terri on August 11th, 2008