I didn’t miss the point, and I did not say anyone HERE had criticized those who find out, i said on the Bulletin Board I post on they have. Pany commentes hear stated that those that eait put down those that don’t, but it never goes the other way. Well, it does. I have been told I will not be able to bond well enough with my baby, decorate the room specially enough, choose the perfect name, or focus enough on my baby’s health at delivery since I have chosen tom wait to find otut he gender. I have a DD and we waited with her..none of these things were issues.

And I agree with Kristen, some women most certianly do find out for shopping. There are many women on my BB who are just desperate to find out the gender (so much they are paying for 3D U/S 2-3 weeks before the big 18-20 week one since they cannot wait) because they want to shop for the baby. Not bond. Shop.

When my cousin was pregnant with her first, she told me she found out b/c she needed to shop! Her second, she found out b/c she wanted a girl (she had a boy again). When I finally got pregnant after 2 m/c I chose not to find out and it drove EVERYONE crazy! My sister, mom, mil, all went nuts b/c they couldn’t “buy” for the baby. My husband and I chose not to find out b/c more than likely she will be our only (I was on bedrest for over 3 months with her and I am 37) and we felt very strongly that we wanted a surprise. I am SO glad that we did, when I gave birth to her, I was not disapponted or sad~ and I had been convinced she was a boy. I was thrilled and filled with joy to have a healthy child. BLESSED. So honestly I find it hard to see why everyone is so upset with her comment about home decor, SOME women actually DO give that as a reason. And as for bonding more, that is a crock, I couldn’t have bonded more with my child, if I knew she was a girl. Either way it was my child, boy or girl a blessing long awaited for.

Sorry Kate, I agree with Fancymomma and (the other) Kate.
Weird that people are saying ‘it helps us bond with our baby’. So you’d bond less with your baby if you didn’t know the sex? I think that’s a bit shallow.
Mostly NOBOBY finds out the sex in the uk – indeed, few hospitals will tell you anyway, even if you wanted to!

Fancymomma and Kate,
I think you missed the point. No one EVER said that you cannot bond with a baby without knowing the sex (not gender which is not the same thing). People are saying that for THEM, it helped the bonding experience, it helped to be able to call the baby by the chosen name. So speak for yourselves, but don’t criticize the choices others have made. No one one here criticized those who choose to wait.

I suggest you re-read why some people chose to find out the sex, and see if you see anything stating that people shouldn’t wait or why they shouldn’t. Because all I see is women explaining why THEY didn’t wait and made no comments about others choices. You both come off judgemental and a bit rude.

I was just about to say what the previous two posters have mentioned. Many have gotten upset with Minnie for what she said, but I think others could get offended over comments by those that chose to found out. I’m sure that those that didn’t find out bonded just as well with babies, their babies weren’t strangers to them, and their babies seemed just as real to them as well. And yes, we know that you were just sharing how you felt about the process, and so was Minnie. And again, she didn’t make a comment on why others choose to find out, she made a comment that she wouldn’t want to find out just because of home decor.

What I find laughable are those who say you bond more with your baby when you know if you are carrying a boy or girl. As someone who has experience it both ways, I can assure you that does NOT make you bond any more to your baby. The kicks and movement are what make me bond to my babies more than anything – not knowing if they have a pickle or bun between my legs. I can’t stand that bonding excuse

Well, I am pregnant reight now and almost all the women on my BB are finding out. Many fo them say it is for bonding, but just as many say it is for home decor, etc. It actually seems to be quite a common reason!

BTW, there is a lot of backlash there against the few of us who are not finding out. It seems we will be unable to bond with our babies before birth, we have decided the surprise is more important then focussing on our baby at delivery (since we’ll be too focussed on the gender) and we have decided gender neutral things are “good enough” for our babies, which is unfair and we clearly don’t care about them enough to want “the best” (as in gender specific) things for them right from the start!! @@

Whatever. I did not find out with DD and wont again, because I loved the surprise and it my baby wil not know of care if s/he is in gender neutral sleepers for a few weeks or a green nursery (which I can easily add boying or girlish accents to). Most things big I will buy (car seat, stroller, etc) will be gender neutral anyways, since they are easier to reuse and pass along.

As for Minnie, well, she could have said it better but whatever…she has an opinion and shared it.

As for me, I don’t really care what someone else does. Find out, don’t. Whatever. I choose not to.

When my mom was pregnant with me, she waited to find out. She said it was a lot of fun, and it added some extra motivation at the end when she was pushing. Having to buy gender neutral clothes or nursery decor is not the end of the world. There are a ton of choices nowadays so finding out the gender for that reason isn’t really necessary. I still don’t know if I would want to find out or if I would want to keep it a surprise. I personally don’t have a problem with not knowing… I think my main concern is that the ultrasound might say it’s one sex and then it would turn out to be the opposite lol. I’ve heard of many people that’s happened to! It would stink to buy clothes for one gender and then have to return them all right after the baby is born.

Wow – I’m quite surprised at how many take personal offense at this.

I’m currently due with my first, whose gender will be a delivery surprise.

I would say that 95% of the people who’ve been told it’s a surprise, respond with, “But how are you going to do the room?” or, “I guess you’ll be buying lots of green and yellow.”

Each unto their own, but in our case, it’s the ones who wanted to know that are bringing it to the level of home decor.

i keep hearing this, too! i think finding out the sex of the baby has nothing to do with room decor! i found out the sex of my son a few weeks ago for that reason, so i could call him my son. so i KNOW who is inside of me. So I know what to call him. So i’m not calling him “it” or “the baby” all the time. I can say “him” and i can say his name. the day I found out his gender was one of the happiest days of my life. and I’m sure his Birth Day will be another. That just means I got an extra happy day in my life. Who cares about room decor!? I can talk to my son now without him feeling like such a stranger. I’m all for natural birthing experiences, hell, my fingers are crossed for a safe home delivery, but every week i went knowing almost nothing about my baby felt excruciating. how on earth could I go 38 weeks without knowing who was inside of me!? i’m sorry, but i don’t like strangers around me or inside of me. I like to know who the people are that are going to be with me for a very long time. And I know my son will be so much more than just his gender. But it sure helps with getting to know this new person my husband and I just created. Besides, my husband gets to prance around in glee that his first child will be a boy.