Oh well it’s very hard subject, I also thinks nothing happens after death, you know, when you’re born you begin, when you die, you end, finish a really “The End by the Doors”. That’s it. The same thing that happens to every single being (maybe that’s why I love babies and children so much…).
I also believe, and I’ve read it several times in different places too, that if a child is able to ask something is because she has the capability of listening to the answer, or she wouldn’t be able to ask (I don’t know if I’m making myself clear though).
I don’t have a child yet so I really don’t know how I would deal with the situation, and I’ll probably don’t know by the time I have one. It’s normal when parents try to protect their kids from death because that’s what terrifies human beings the most, and that one of the flaws of being humans we’re aware of our own death unlike other animals, which survive by instinct without knowing they’re “survivng”, oh well, too much philosophy for one post.
I think people should answer according to their believes, many children are raised up Catholics, for example, and they turn out not to be religious, or not believing in Heaven, or vice-versa, kids will make their own minds sooner or later, anyway. I think the problem isn’t about WHAT you say but HOW you say. And the “sleeping and never waking up” thing is the worst thing you can say to a child, because not only are you lying, you’re also scarying the child to death (lol)! Sleeping is something natural and essencial, can’t be compared to death, as sleeping is something a child has to have everyday.

I’m not well versed on this, but isn’t the idea that nothing happens after we die a tenet of Judaism? Doesn’t David have a Jewish heritage? I’m not certain on his background, and I don’t necessarily think that one’s cultural or spiritual heritage rules his beliefs, but what he said makes a lot of sense in that context. If anyone out there has more knowledge about this, please post.

As a Wiccan, death is as natural to us as life. My daughter is 8, and has experienced 2 deaths so far, both were her grandparents and she was particularly close to my dad. At 4, she needed to know that Papaw was gone from his physical body, but we encourage her to always know he is around, watching over her and comforting her in her grief. She was very comfortable at the funeral and I had several comments that for a 4 yr old, they felt that she consoled THEM! We are teaching her that death is only a physical end, and that souls can be reincarnated as new lives or they can choose to become ethereal and watch over loved ones. I respect the Christian idea of Heaven, as my dad was Catholic and he believed in Heaven, and I think we meet halfway on this with our daughter, in allowing her to be able to understand death and also have hope for the soul of the person she loves. I have a niece who is very sheltered due to her mom’s own overwhelming fear of death and I feel so sorry for her, because she is 9 and doesn’t even know people die. She believes they move away and never come back, and I truly worry that it is setting up abandonment issues for her. Has anyone else had an experience like this and if so, what was a good way to help? I cannot violate her mothers feelings on this but I want her to become a confident woman as she grows up and not fear death as her mom does. I did suggest to my sister-in-law that she may want to speak with her and perhaps approach it as a flower dies but that we can always remember the beauty of it. Thus far, she’s not even in the same zip code with that idea and having a family member who is very ill and expected to leave us soon, I do not want my niece to think he abandoned her, they are very close. Any ideas or help CBB readers?

That’s a tough question isn’t it. How do you explain death to a child? I can understand the whole going to sleep and not waking up theory, but I don’t neccessarily agree with it. In my mind, it just makes the kids fear going to sleep as they might ‘die’ too. There are lots of great children’s books about explaining death to children.

I whole heartedly agree with Cora on this one… you can’t possibly explain the concept of “nothingness” to a child. There’s just no way to do it. It’s hard enough trying to explain death to a child at all, but I simply can’t imagine trying to explain to a child that nothing happens to you when you die… you’re just… nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking anyone’s beliefs… I just know several individuals who have turned to the story of heaven in explaining the death of a loved one to a child even though they don’t believe in it themselves.

My half-brother was almost three when his mom, my stepmom died. At first we just told him she was gone. Then when he got a couple years older we told him that she was dead, which means she fell asleep and she won’t wake up.

Having lost a loved one almost every year since 2000, my sons (*96 and *98) have had to deal with death a great deal.
And unfortunately my feelings re: “the afterlife” are the same as Mr. Duchovny’s,… a fact that actually makes it very hard for me to cope for example with the death of my sister at the age of 21 four years ago…. but like Mr. Duchovny I don’t have my beliefs up for discussion with my children, … they hope that there’ s a heaven and that is something I can whole-heartedly agree wit… I DO HOPE, too.

Whenever there is a bit of help needed, like when they happen to fear there might be nothing, we have a good friend, they can talk to… and he should know… he’s our churhc’s parson and our neighbour. On one occasion he’s helped our oldest simply by answering “YES !” when he asked him if there’s a heaven… a certainty, unshaken or marred by insecurity, that I couldn’t give .

I deeply believe that children, especially the gifted ones like ours, need to be able to believe in the concept of heaven for their own sakes….

We, too, adhere to the Christian faith, so we believe in Heavea and an afterlife. My almost 4-year-old has been asking a lot of good, but hard, questions lately. (For example, we drove past a cemetary and he asked what the stones were, and he’s seen a picture of my mom, who is deceased and whom he has never met, so he’s asked about her.) I believe in being as open and honest as the child’s age and development will allow, so I tried to simply explain our religious beliefs regarding the “earthly” body, and the soul. He still doesn’t quite get the concept of death yet, so I haven’t gotten into that much yet.

We’re Catholic and we are raising our children catholic. My son also goes to Catholic school so he is learning about death from the catholic perspective. (life after death in heaven) We try to answer his questions honestly but of course we share what we believe.

When my grandmother died, we told him she was in heaven and that he would see her again one day. He’s 5 so he doesn’t quite get it but death for him while sad, is not scary. I’m sure he will have more questions as he gets older and we plan to share our beliefs but not force it on him. We know he has to come to his own understanding of God.

Oh no! I hope Blue is OK! I’m gonna go ask DD on his blog!