Deborah Gibson "fine" with being an "older mom"

Total Pop Star judge and former teen queen Deborah Gibson, 37, says that her fellow "showbiz women" Jennifer Lopez, 38 (mom to 4-month-old twins Emme Maribel and Maximilian ‘Max’ David Muñiz) and Marcia Cross, 46 (mom to 16-month-old twins Eden and Savannah) give her hope for motherhood.  "I do want kids of my own," Deborah recently told OK!, "but I still don’t feel quite ready yet."  She added,

I will definitely be an older mom, which is fine with me. I want to make sure that when I do it, I do it right and I can fully dedicate myself to being a mom.

If she needs any other role models for motherhood, Deborah said she needs to look no further than her own family.  Counting her three sisters and her own mother as "awesome moms," Deborah said she wants to be "very hands-on."

Source:  OK!; Photo by Tiffany Rose/WireImage.com.

Comments

I believe every woman has a right to wait until she feels ready to have children, but women like Deborah are unrealistic to believe they have some undeniable right to have a birth child. All women have a limited amount of eggs and as we age those eggs become fewer and of poorer quality. She is deluding herself to think she can just decide one day when she’s 40 or 45 or whatever that she is ready and nature will give her a baby. Even with technology, there are no guarantees. Besides what makes her think she’ll be ready for a child in five or ten or even twenty years if she isn’t ready at the age of 37? She’s not exactly at the start of her career, but in the end she’ll live with the consequences of her actions just like we all do.

- Rena on June 29th, 2008

I agree with Rena 100%. In this day and age when you hear about all the women that need medical assistance to become pregnant(My best friend is 30 is in fantastic shape and is in good health has just started her third round of Clomid after two unsuccessful rounds)I find it absolutely ridiculous that she thinks getting pregnant will be an easy endeavor. I myself became pregnant very easily but I would never take it for granted when there are so many women out there that never get the Chance. Hopefully when I try for #2 it will be a piece of cake but I certainly don’t expect or take for granted that it will be.

- Meghan on June 29th, 2008

Rena, you can have issues trying to get pregnant in your twenties and thirties too. Good for her for saying she’s not ready right now.

- Renee on June 29th, 2008

Hey, maybe you guys will post this message about older mothers, you declined to post my last one. As far as I know, Deborah Gibson isn’t married, and if she wants to wait until she’s ready to be a mother, that’s a good thing. Women should wait until they’re ready, whether that’s at 25 or 40. Jumping into a marriage when you’re not ready just because you think you’d better have a baby before you get too old isn’t a good idea, it’s a great way to end up with broken homes and unhappy kids. I waited until I met the right man, a month before my 38th birthday. I knew he was the right one, I knew I wanted to have a baby, so we moved more quickly than it would have happened if we were in our twenties. I got married at 40, was pregnant six months later–the first month we tried, BTW–and now, seven months pregnant, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and I’m really glad I waited. I know I’m lucky, but half of women my age can get pregnant on their own within a reasonable amount of time. Half. And for the women who can’t, assisted reproductive technologies get better and better all the time. Or there’s adoption or foster care. There are many ways to be a mother. It’s just unnecessary to use scare tactics to try to force women have babies before they’re ready. A lot of people hate seeing women taking charge of their own bodies, of their own reproduction. Better get used to it, it’s just going to be more and more common.

- Pencils on June 29th, 2008

Some younger women do have trouble getting pregnant, but chances of getting pregnant dramatically decrease after age 35. Marcia Cross(who ended up using donor eggs) and Jennifer Lopez both struggled.

- Nicole on June 29th, 2008

The sad thing is, you don’t know if you’re going to have problems conceiving until you try. Some women have no problem conceiving at 40 or 45, and some women who are only 29 or 30 do.

I think it’s wonderful that she’s waiting until she’s ready, but I also hope she understands how tough it can be to get pregnant even for younger women.

- Nicole on June 29th, 2008

Pencils, I think it’s ridiculous that you insinuate that the people saying she might struggle with fertility don’t want women in control of their bodies.

I think it’s wonderful that she’s waiting until a time when she feels she’ll be most fit to be a mother, but at the same time I think she’s being naive. Just because you were able to conceive easily at 40 doesn’t mean that she will. Your personal experience is not universal, and I’m sure there are many people on here who have struggled to conceive who can attest to that.

- Anon. on June 29th, 2008

It sounds like she has given this a lot of thought. There is no right answer and each woman has to make her own decisions.

- carla at somethingaboutbaby.com on June 29th, 2008

Debbi’s comments remind me of what Paula Abdul said a few months ago about waiting until she was ready to be a mom…I thought her statement was a bit naive then, and I think Debbi’s statement is naive now. By no means do I think women should be “forced” to have kids when they aren’t ready (and I don’t see any else in the comment section insinuating that either) but it is unrealistic to think you can just years and years until you are ready to give birth if you’re already in your late 30s. That’s not society talking, it’s biology. Marcia Cross was very fortunate with her twins, and she’s even spoken at length about how it was not easy for her to conceive the babies. Despite Jennifer Lopez’s statement to the contrary I also think she was on fertility drugs in order to conceive. And even if she did do it naturally I’m sure she would not have been a bit surprised if she had struggled to conceive considering her age.

- Erica on June 29th, 2008

I just want to point out that she never said anything about getting pregnant, so I don’t know where this assumption of her being naive comes from. Like someone else said, there are many ways to become a mother. In any case, I wish her luck with whatever she chooses.

- Katie on June 29th, 2008

I didn’t say anyone here tried to force women to have kids early, but the societal pressure is there. And, yes, of course fertility drops a lot after age 35, and drops precipitously after age 41. But how do you know that Deborah Gibson doesn’t know that? I did, and I waited anyway. You call her naive, but you have no idea what her decisions are based on. This is her personal life, she doesn’t have to explain it to the media. She seems like a smart person, I’m sure she knows what she’s risking. And she never said she had some undeniable right to have a birth child. She just said she wants to be a mom–there are lots of ways to be a mom. I knew the risks myself–I know the statistics, I knew them before I met my husband. Everything in life is a gamble. I do think it’s silly to wait if you’re happily married or close to being married and in an OK financial position just because you’re having fun or you want to advance your career, because none of us do know what’s going to happen with our fertility. But rushing into having a child when you’re not married or likely to be anytime soon because you’re afraid you might not be able to conceive later is foolish. And, yes, I’m using myself as an example because others have brought up examples of women having problems. It’s all anecdotal evidence. My example of getting pregnant the first month we tried at age 40 and 11 months is just as valid as the other poster’s example of her friend on Clomid. As I said before, half of women my age can get pregnant on their own. Those aren’t bad betting odds, and that’s without any assistance.

I’m not going to get into a long argument about this, it’s pointless. All I’m saying is that getting pregnant after age 35, or even age 40, is not hopeless, it’s becoming more and more common. If a woman absolutely must have biological children to be truly happy, then she shouldn’t wait. But the rest of us can wait until the time is right if we need to. Some will be disappointed, but, hey, women in their twenties are disappointed too. Then adopt or become a foster parent, good foster parents are desperately needed.

- Pencils on June 29th, 2008

For all of the people saying, “I think it is unrealistic to think that she will have an easy time conceiving the longer she waits,” I ask two questions. One, where in her statement does Deborah say she thinks she will have any easy time conceiving? And two, what do you suggest? That Deborah rush into motherwood when she is not ready and is not married and presumably is not in a long term relationship (assuming that is what she is waiting for?) Never once did Deborah say she thought conceiving would be an easy endeavor at her age. What she says is that some of these older mothers have given her hope. That’s it. I never once got the impression from her statement that she felt like she was going to have an easy go at conception. Clearly this is something that she has thought about and good for her for waiting until she feels she is in the right situation to become a mother, which by the way could be via coneception, adoption or surrogacy. People do things in their own time and I wish others would respect that more. I think it is a shame that as soon as a woman who is over 30 says, “they would like to wait a bit to have kids” that people jump on them with the “That is soooo unrealistic given their age” rhetoric. I applaud Deborah for waiting until she feels ready. The last thing any woman should be made to feel is that she they rush into child birth and become a mother just because the clock may or may not be ticking. Everyone’s birth path is different. And Deborah strikes me as someone who is well educated on what her options are and what technology has to offer.

- lizzielui on June 29th, 2008

Hey Pencils, I get what you are saying, and you’re right: getting pregnant after 40 is not hopeless at all. But I guess the way I’m looking at it is that a woman’s eggs *do* have an expiration date, or at least the quality and health of the eggs declines steadily after 35. Again, this isn’t to say that it is definite that a woman over 40 will give birth to a child with defects (I know that the majority don’t) but the risks of it happening are inherently greater. I’m assuming that when Debbi says she wants to be a mom she means biologically only because she used the examples of Marcia Cross and Jennifer Lopez (two moms who gave birth in their late 30s/early 40s). If she wants to go that route, I say great, BUT I would also consider freezing my eggs.

- Erica on June 29th, 2008

Pencils…where did you get the statistic that half of women can get pregnant on their own after the age of 40? I had never heard that before…just wondering.

- paula on June 29th, 2008

I certainly agree that any woman who has the desire and means to be a mother will find a way. Period! And I feel a little stung by comments immediately assuming that a future mother who will be older is naive to assume it will happen one way or another. She’s a big girl, she knows that. Love makes a child.

- Sasha on June 29th, 2008

I find it very amusing that many posters assume Debbie Gibson thinks she’s going to meet Mr. Right and have a child right away. She’s more than likely not that naive! She knows how hard Marcia Cross and Jennifer Lopez worked to get pregnant and she knows it won’t be easy! I mean, what woman doesn’t know that it’s harder to get pregnant the older you get?

I think it’s the naive ones are the posters, getting down on her just because she’s going to be smart. She knows she isn’t ready for children just yet. Why should we EVER fault a woman for knowing what’s right for her?

- Stephany on June 29th, 2008

Debbie Gibson has been in the music business a long time, so I seriously doubt she is naive about anything, particularly conception and motherhood. Also, there is a lot of fertility technology available to her and she has the money to avail herself of those advances. Perhaps she is doing or has done egg freezing which a lot of younger women with upwardly mobile careers have taken advantage of to preserve their fertility. In addition, while there is certainly a decline in fertility after 35 and especially after 40, it is not unheard of for some in the 35 plus crowd to conceive…just like that. I believe people make too many assumptions about other people’s bodies and consistently spout medical rhetoric like it’s holy gospel. I know a woman 25 years old who had 3 failed IVFs and a woman 45 who conceived two months after being married.

I like that Debbie is comfortable with her decision and I wish her nothing but good look and children whenever and however she decides to grow her family.

- sheba on June 29th, 2008

I congratulation Deborah and all the other women who admit they aren’t ready to be a mother yet. I would much rather hear this than to hear about a woman pregnant and not ready because if you aren’t ready, the children are the ones who suffer.

- Namesake Treasures Personalized Gifts on June 29th, 2008

Nicole- Marcia has never confirmed nor denied using donor eggs. She DID confirm that she used IVF, but she has never said a word one way or the other about donor eggs. There have been rumors about that, but that’s all they are-rumors. Personally, I don’t think she did use donor eggs. I saw a picture of her with the girls the other day, and one of them (I forget which one) really looks like her!

Also, why does everyone have such a hard time believing that Jennifer Lopez very well may have concieved her twins naturally? She apparently DID say to the media a few years ago that she would have children “When it happens naturally, I guess”. Also, although fertility declines quite a bit at J-Lo’s age, the odds of having twins naturally actually increase after the age of 35 or so (it has to do with the fact that most women’s bodies produce more of a certain ovulation-stimulating chemical once they hit 35 or so).

Also, nobody seems to have a bit of trouble believing that Angelina Jolie concieved her twins naturally. Granted, she’s younger than J-Lo, but these days, it seems like whenever a celeb is expecting twins, everyone assumes they used IVF. Why do people think J-Lo had IVF (or any type of fertility treatment, for that matter), and Angie didn’t? I feel sorry for poor J-Lo. What does she have to do to get people to believe her?

- CelebBabyLover on June 30th, 2008

Never mind any of that – I can’t believe Debbie Gibson is 37 already!!!! How old do I feel???????

- Judith on June 30th, 2008

I am only 9 wks pregnant and 30 yrs old, but let me say that it has not been easy. It took two years of constant prayers for it finally happen and when this one is born, I’m plan to start trying for the next one ASAP. I agree that women who know for a fact that they want to get pregnant shouldn’t wait until everything in their life is perfect, because it will never be.

- ttcnomore on June 30th, 2008

Let me preface this by saying that I don’t think it matters at all how a child was conceived. I, myself, have two children conceived through ART and one came to our family through adoption and they are all my little miracles. Anyway, I think that the reason so many people doubt that J-lo’s twins were conceived naturally is that so many celebs have been having twins lately that they can’t all possibly have been conceived naturally. We’re talking about a population that has a lot of money and resources to pursue all kinds of treatments, so it would make sense that someone like J-lo, who we know struggled to get pregnant, and seems like a very driven person who does not give up, would seek out some kind of treatment. She has also turned into a very private person and so it would also make sense that she would want to hide that from the public. And her explanation of twins running in the family (a pretty common explanation among celebs) doesn’t make scientific sense. Yes, the instance of twins does increase with age but it’s still pretty negligible…I read in one article that it goes from 2% to 2.3% after the age of 35. As for Angelina, I doubt that she did IVF, but I do think it is possible that she took fertility drugs, even Clomid increases your chance of twins to something like 9%. It’s possible that she and Brad knew they wanted a child within a certain time frame, knew her cycles weren’t regular and used something pretty benign like Clomid, increasing the chance of twins significantly. Of course it’s also possible that both just had twins naturally, but I doubt it. In any case it doesn’t really matter…and I’ve gone on way too long. Have a nice day everyone!

- paula on June 30th, 2008

to Nicole: Marica used IVF but has never said she used donor eggs.

to paula: Lopez never admitted to struggling to get prgnant. That was rumored.
2) lopez became private bc Marc Anthony demanded it of her. A good thing to as this her 3rd marriage is her longest one !
3) Please name the celebs who claim twins run in their family?
4) Twins are in her Lopez’s genes paternally as her paternal auntie is either a twin or has twins.
5) Twins are in Brad Pitts genes as well. His sis has twins.

- i think on June 30th, 2008

“i think”…I do remember in at least one interview, J-lo stating that they had been trying for something like 3 years and she had resigned herself to the fact that she would only be a step-mom. I think she has been pretty public in the fact that it took quite awhile to get pregnant. Also, twins running in the male partner’s family in no way affects the ability to conceive fraternal twins (identical twins do not run in families). So Marc Anthony or Brad having twins in their families would not give them a greater chance of having twins, neither would twins on her father’s side. It would have to be on the mother’s side, which I don’t think is the case in either family, although I could be wrong. I think the discussion of fraternal twins has gone on before here, but the mother would have to ovulate two eggs and neither her father nor her partner could give her the ability to do that. Julia Roberts has also claimed that twins run in the family and I know others have as well but at this moment I can’t remember who else.

- paula on June 30th, 2008

paula- You mentioned some very good points! However, I think Angelina and Brad would turned to adoption if Angie couldn’t get pregnant naturally (especially since they already have one biological child). I have a feeling Angie would interpret not being able to get pregnant naturally as a sign that she was meant to adopt again rather than get pregnant.

Also, Angie mentioned in a recent interview that she and Brad were surprised to find out they are having twins (her actual words were something like “We weren’t expecting twins”, meaning, obviously, they weren’t expecting TO have twins).

That makes me think they concieved naturally. I doubt they’d have been surprised by the news of the twins if she’d been taking fertility treatments! It is also possible that Angie and Brad’s twins are identical (it has been strongly rumored that both babies are girls. Granted, it has also been rumored that they are fraternal, but those rumors started when Angie alledgly told a reporter that they saw “a line” of some sort on the ultrasound, which the doctor told them could mean the babies are fraternal. In otherwords, at this point even Angie and Brad probably don’t know for sure!).

In that case, Angie and Brad just got lucky (as identical twins occur when one fertilized egg splits in two).

As for J-Lo…Why wouldn’t she have just said, “I don’t want to discuss it” or “No comment” about fertility treatments if she really had them and didn’t want to share (rather than out right denying it)? Anyway, I also want to point out that not all couples struggling to concieve want to try fertility treatments, even ones who can easily afford them like J-Lo and Mark.

- CelebBabyLover on July 1st, 2008

i think- What makes you think that Marc demanded that J-Lo get pregnant? She has been very vocal about wanting kids since before she even met Marc!

- CelebBabyLover on July 1st, 2008

deborah got money, so most likely if she has any problems getting pregnant, she can take fertilty drugs. Look at all the celebrities having first babies salma hayek, halle berry, jennifer lopez, naomi watts, jillian barberie, etc, it’s pretty common for a lot of celebrities to have kids after 35. Also women can have trouble getting pregnant at any age, there’s no guarnetee execpt if your younger, you have more time to try different situations. Some doctors even say when your in your 40′s you gotta be careful your more prone to get pregnant quicker because your hormones are getting ready for menopause

- brooke on July 3rd, 2008

She does have every right to wait until she feels she is ready, she just has to understand the longer she waits the harder it might be.

- Tony on August 1st, 2008

At least deborah didn’t act irresponsibly like, say, BRITNEY SPEARS, and conceive a child at a point in her life when she had no business doing so because of drug and alcohol problems. britney may have been young, as some of you people seem to think a mother should be, but she should have practiced safe sex.

- Jonathan K. on April 14th, 2011