Tori Spelling guest blogs about the need to 'reconnect'

In an entry to The Daily Mom at iVillage, actress and guest editor Tori Spelling, 35, talked about how important it is for moms to take time out of each day to "reconnect" with themselves.  Tori, mom to Liam Aaron, 15-months on Friday, and 3-day-old Stella Doreen, said that "as a working mother, someone will want some of your time every second of every day."  She wrote,

But if you don’t get a little time to yourself, what good will you be to anyone? I think it’s different for everyone: some people do yoga, some take a bath, some work out in the gym, some get a manicure… but whatever you do, make sure you have time for it, so you don’t feel guilty, or worse: more stressed out than before!

She added,

Whether it’s watching TV or movies or working on your art, it’s very important to set aside a moment or two for yourself everyday. You’ll be a better wife, mother, and woman because of it.

Source:  iVillage; Photo by Splash News.

Thanks to CBB readers Jessica and Izzy.

Comments

very very true!! when my kids were little I would try to steal some time during their nap or after they went to bed at night and the kitchen was cleaned up. A nice warm bath h a good with a good book is great!

- tink1217 on June 11th, 2008

I absolutely agree with Tori! I’ve tried to maintain myself and my interests while being a stay at home mom of two (soon to be three). I do better some days than other, but keep the effort up so that I know who I am and so that I feel fulfilled…and so my husband remembers why he married me in the first place…and doesn’t regret it now

- UggaMugga.com on June 11th, 2008

I totally agree with Tori!! I am a stay at home Mom and so I’m always with the kids and it’s easy to get totally wrapped up in that. I LOVE being with my kids but I have to have time away. A lot of times it will be date night with my hubby but I’ll also go grab lunch with one of my good friends or catch a movie. My husband will go golf occasionally also. We have both agreed that time away with your own interests brings you back feeling refreshed and makes you a better parent and/or spouse. It’s nice to hear Tori say that and no one Mom or Dad should feel guilty about wanting and needing time away. I always say, we’re humans before we’re parents and so it’s normal to need a break

- heather on June 11th, 2008

I’ve never been a huge fan of Tori’s before, but she is SO RIGHT! Some people may think you are being selfish if you take time away from your children to get your nails done or catch a pilates class, but that hour or two will give you time to decompress and keep in touch with yourself.

My mother took care of my sister and me as a primarily stay-at-home mom, and she thought that being a good mother meant throwing all her hobbies and interests out the window. She was never 100% happy, and now that we are both grown and out of the house, she is having an impossible time re-discovering herself.

- bella on June 11th, 2008

i just read the whole entry on the site and the majority of the comments tori has received so far just bashed her-1 person even directly abused her looks.that’s just made me feel really sad.she wrote something really nice and poignant and they just dumped all over her.

- ang on June 11th, 2008

I have been a mom for 15+ years. I whole hardly agree you need to drop the “mom” title somewhere during your day.
With that said. I now face a 15, 14 and 12 year old. I am realizing every second I took for me could have been spent with them! They want to got out and about.
So Enjoy the time! No matter how hard it was having three under three. I wish I could turn back the time. I wish they fit in my laps.I wish they wanted me to read or kiss them goodnite. It goes so fast… Enjoy! No time is replaced by Bye Mom!!!

- Leese on June 11th, 2008

The stuff she says makes a lot of sense. I’m always a little troubled by women who declare that you’re a bad mom if you have a spa day or a night out. “You should be at home taking care of your baby, it’s not about you anymore.” Scary and very very unsafe. Tori’s right to try and ease the guilt of new moms, kudos to her.
And ang, I’m sure those comments are nothing Tori hasn’t heard before and I agree with you, most were really unnecessary and uncalled for. But it’s all par for the course with her, I guess. I will say this…she’s an adult, and I’m sure she has heard of actions having consequences. Not going to judge her as it’s not my place, but it’s all about making the bed you eventually have to lie in. The Universe has certain laws that NEVER fail, so…people need to stop worrying about it
Anyway, I’m sure you’re more bothered by those knocks against her than she is, lol. None of this changes the validity of what she’s trying to say, and I believe she was spot on.

- Gianna on June 11th, 2008

This is off topic but when I clicked on the picture you can see up close that Dean’s toes have nailpolish on them…I think!

- Emaline on June 11th, 2008

I couldn’t agree more with Tori. My husband takes the kids for a few hours every Saturday. It gives me the time I need for myself and it gives him special “Daddy time” with them.

- Mandy on June 12th, 2008