Candace Cameron Bure recommends controversial sleep book to Jodie Sweetin

When it comes to motherhood Candace Cameron Bure, 32, is already a veteran.  Mom to Natasha, 9 ½, Lev, 8 and Maksim, 6 ½ — her children with husband Valeri Bure, an ex-NHL player — Candace said she has been exchanging emails with actress Jodie Sweetin, who recently became a mom herself. Noting that she’s "years ahead" of Jodie in the parenthood department, Candace said she "could give tons of advice" to her former Full House co-star.  First and foremost on Jodie’s hypothetical to-do list, Candace said, is to go out and purchase a copy of the controversial sleep training book Baby Wise, because "it helps your child sleep through the night, and helps you put your baby on a schedule. It’s so important."

Source:  OK!; Photo by Stephen Shugerman/Getty Images.

The BabyWise book is controversial, but we are interested in a respectful discussion over which baby sleep books and techniques readers found helpful. What did you find success with?

Comments

lol i love that she seems so nice & normal but i was wondering do you have any pics of her kids i would really like to see who they look like more

- Kelly on June 10th, 2008

I am so glad Candace coming back to acting! I loved her on Full House!

- tink1217 on June 10th, 2008

Oh Boy, this is going to get heated with the mention of Baby Wise. I personally didn’t use it, but I think most people can take some good from the book. It is very strict and some mom’s make take it to the extreme. CBB, you will be getting a TON of comments on this one!!

- Allie on June 10th, 2008

**Bracing myself for the barage of Baby Wise comments**

- Amy on June 10th, 2008

Baby Wise..here it comes!

- RB on June 10th, 2008

that awful ezzo book is a recipe for child neglect. babies have dies from using their feeding schedule. just, EWWW.

- LindaLou on June 10th, 2008

I’ll say it. Baby Wise is dangerous.

- Suzanne on June 10th, 2008

I cannot believe Celebrity Baby Blog would even mention or add links to anything Baby “Wise”..it actually lowers my respect for this blog a bit.

ANY book that promotes hitting a child, or extreme feeding schedules, is wrong. Period. It’s sickening.

- M on June 10th, 2008

Candace looks gorgeous!

Yep, BabyWise is controversial and I don’t agree with it. A friend of mine recommended it to me when I was pregnant with my first child. I read a fourth of it, and threw it in the trash. I didn’t agree with most of it. Luckily my sister in law gave me The Baby Book by Dr. Sears — much more style.

- Julie on June 10th, 2008

I wish Candace, whom I’ve always liked, would not advocate for that horrible book. All a baby learns from that method is that if they cry, you will not respond. They learn that you will *not* always be there for them, and that they cannot depend on you to meet all of their needs.

A routine is one thing. Baby Wise is neglect.

- SM on June 10th, 2008

RUN RUN RUN from the babywise book!! If an adult is hungry, they go into the kitchen and fix something to eat. Do you tell yourself – gosh no, I need to wait another 2.5 hours so I can stay on schedule. NO you eat. So you’re going to take a 7 pound baby whose body uses crying as THE ONLY form of communicating “Please, I’m hungry. I can’t feed myself. I need help.” And say “Aww sweetie – just another 2 hours. Gotta stay on that schedule.” That is plain and simply child neglect. I am horrified.

- KayLee on June 10th, 2008

Wow…I have never heard of this book, so I don’t want to comment on it, but I read other books while pregnant and I do not follow them 100% i mean some ideas were great and worked wonders for my daughter and I and some weren’t that great…people need to remember we are all different and what make work for some, may not work for others.

Candace is so pretty!!

- Bren on June 10th, 2008

This blog is so good about baring negativity. Babywise works for some families and doesn’t work for others. Ditto for Dr. Sears…
For our family, Babywise didn’t work with one of our children but did work for the other two. We didn’t follow the book strictly but it gave us encouragement and confidence that we could have babies and make them a part of our world and activities and not drop everything to have it revolve around them. It also looked differently with each child.
My opionion–everything in moderation, folks.

- Jessica on June 10th, 2008

We don’t believe in any form of sleep training. We also don’t put the baby on our schedule. Instead, we allowed him to create his own schedule & every fell into the right places. Our son was fed on demand from day 1 & continues to be at 6 months old. He’s also slept through the night for some time now. It’s a routine he set himself & it’s great for us. I was never comfortable with putting my baby on any type of schedule or following any clocks when it came to him being hungry or not, or sleepy or not. We’re very happy with our everything is for us & I think everyone should do whats best for their family. But I do hate that so many new mothers are told “you have to schedule your baby!” I think it adds pressure & stress to a new family. If I schedule works best for someone, I don’t care, but it doesn’t work for us. And I don’t think everyone should automatically assume that a schedule should be set in every family & for every baby.

- Jess on June 10th, 2008

I just lost all respect for Candace Cameron and I loved her for years! I am so sad she would recommend Baby Wise. What a disappointment.

It is NOT important to force a schedule on your baby. It is important to follow your baby’s cues and form a routine based on them. I hope Jodie listens to her mothering instinct and not Ezzo or Candace.

- JJS on June 10th, 2008

i don’t have kids but i recently bought ” the science of parenting” by margot sunderland which dispels a lot of myths, like controlled crying. it’s kinda textbooksy, but says if children r not calmed they can’t learn to calm themselves later in life. it goes into details about how a baby’s brain works, how to discipline ur kids so they still grow up strong adults able to handle stress in life, how emotions r controlled and stuff like that.i haven’t finished it yet.

- ang on June 10th, 2008

The problem with a book advocating a schedule is that breastfed babies cannot and should not be on schedules. Scheduling leads to potential lower milk supply, the concern that the baby isn’t getting enough, and ultimately to a lower supply through insufficient nipple stimulation. Along the same lines, breastfed babies shouldn’t have feedings “stretched out” or be forced to give up night-time nursing sessions. It’s not a lifestyle thing–it’s a nutrition thing. (I’ve certainly heard that CIO works for some families, but they shouldn’t be used with a young baby, even per Dr. Ferber.)

Obviously, every family should do what works for them.

- Nicole on June 10th, 2008

RUN FROM BABYWISE, I was foolish enough to use it with my first child and still regret nine years later.

- Ninalindy on June 10th, 2008

I have never heard of this Babywise book before so i can’t really give an opinion.

- tegan on June 10th, 2008

I am not a mom yet, but I visited my best friend and her 3 month old this past summer. My friend was using the Baby Wise method and her baby was healthy, happy, and sleeping through the night. She told me how some of her friends thought she was nuts for doing the method, and after reading some of the comments here and on Amazon, I can see why!

I recognize that it is not for everyone, but I guess I don’t understand why some people are so obsessively against it! Any parenting method could be applied in a negative fashion, in my opinion, be it attachment parenting, Baby Wise, or whatever.

New moms need support. As long as a new mom isn’t hurting their baby, why get involved in their business and what business is it of yours if they choose a method you yourself would not choose? How many babies have truly starved using the Baby Wise method? Come on. I can’t believe anyone would look at Candace Camerone Bure as a “bad mom” based on this knowledge alone! Unfair.

- zelda on June 10th, 2008

I had a great experience with Babywise and still follow the program for my toddler. My daughter has thrived, sleeps great and is a happy, secure child. I highly recommend the book.

- CS on June 10th, 2008

I’ve never read a single “get your baby to sleep” book.
I always fed my kids “on demand” and as often as possible during the day so they’d be “tanked up” for the night and sleep for a longer stretch. That method and using a sound-machine in baby’s room worked for our family.
Both my kids slept through the night by 2.5 mos old.

- Carrianna on June 10th, 2008

I would like to know if any of you who so hate the babywise book, have even read the book. I know that being a mom makes you really busy, too busy, in fact to read a book you fear you would disagree with terribly (I know, because I am the same way).

But I have read the book myself and no where did I read in Babywise that you were to require your baby be on a rigid schedule, or go hungry. Claiming that the book recommends that without having read it yourself is just slander. It does NOT say that! Read for yourself….

I have 2 children. I had 2 very different experiences with my children as babies. With my first one, I did what most new moms do: I nursed on demand — which mostly meant that I nursed him every time he cried. He was by far my most discontent, fussy baby and this carried into the night too. At almost 1 year old, he was still waking me every 2-3 hours to nurse. I was miserable and his sleeping/napping schedule was very unhealthy. A baby that age needs 12-15 hours of sleep a day for their development and health. I finally had to change everything. I had to let him learn to sleep on his own, which meant he had to cry it out (with me bawling on the other side of the door) and eventually he did sleep through the night. But all this was a difficult experience I wanted to avoid with my second child.

So, I read the babywise book when I was pregnant with my second child. The basic advice of the book is to establish a cycle or routine that goes like this: your baby wakes from sleep, you feed him; then there’s awake/play time; then you put them to sleep. You don’t nurse them to sleep and you put them in their crib awake from the beginning. Everytime you nurse, no matter how long it has been since your last feeding, make sure they take a full feeding (no snack nursing). I never had to endure an hour screaming/crying session to get my second child to sleep. If she ever did cry when we put her down, she had stopped crying by the time we were leaving the room. She gained all her birth weight back before she was a week old and she kept gaining weight thereafter at a healthy rate. She was hardly ever fussy except for when she was tired. She slept thru the night (on her own, without us forcing her to) at 8 weeks.

So lay off you guys! Why spread lies about a book you’ve never read that may help other moms out there!

- rapunzelle on June 10th, 2008

Babywise is dangerous.

I will answer by saying we found success by not allowing our son to cry. Fuss, yes. Cry? No. Only when he felt his needs were being met, did he allow himself and trust us to sleep well.

- principesa on June 10th, 2008

I don’t know anything about Baby Wise, but I do know a well rested mom is a good thing for the whole family.

I also noticed that a lot of people do not believe in schedules for their babies. To me that’s odd because babies and children take comfort in routine. As a person with a career (and this is not a knock at stay at home moms!!!) I don’t know where I would be without a schedule. If you don’t start them on a schedule as newborns, when do you? I think it’s a bigger shock for kids to find out later in life the world does not revolve around them.

- J-Lin on June 10th, 2008

Okay, no babies myself yet but I’ve heard horror stories from mothers who haven’t gotten a decent nights sleep because the baby feels they need to eat twice during the night – not fair to mom and not fair to the baby because mom can’t be the best mom she is going to be.

I haven’t read Babywise but I do believe in some kind of scheduling.

For SM’s comment, yes, parents DO tell their children to fit into your schedule. When your 5 year old wakes up and says she’s hungry at 3 am, do you go make her a PB&J? No, you say, “go back to bed and you’ll have breakfast in 2 hours.”

Do we do this to a newborn? I don’t think so, but guide the baby to a schedule so mom takes care of herself and her child is a smart move. Notice I said guide, not force.

- Carissa on June 10th, 2008

Here’s a link to an article on Salon that details the BabyWise method, and why so many people (including pediatricians) find it dangerous:

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/08/cov_06feature.html

It is a highly conservative Christian baby rearing method which was circulated through churches, and then the religious aspects were edited out for mainstream sales. It isn’t based on any medical studies– it is rooted in the belief that you will have “wordly” children if you don’t instill punishment and training into them early. The author even mentions that God lets Jesus “cry it out” on the cross. It isn’t surprising that Candace is advocating this, since she and her brother Kirk are known for their extreme religion.

This isn’t meant to spark debate, but simply to let people know the history and roots of the movement.

- marie on June 10th, 2008

I’m not familiar with the Baby Wise book. My doctor recommended “Sleeping Through the Night” by Dr. Jodi Mindell who is a specialist in sleep disorders and is also from the Philadelphia area. I think her methods worked well for us, although our issues wasn’t sleeping through the night, but tackling falling asleep with the bottle. But we have gone back to reference the book when we have travelled and with the Daylight Savings Time change and it has always helped us.

- Leslie on June 10th, 2008

For what it’s worth, Candace Cameron Bure is very open about the fact that she is a Christian and Babywise’s author is Gary Ezzo, who is also the founder and head of Growing Families Interational. A parenting ministry. Her advocacy of Babywise shouldn’t come a suprise to anyone. Gary Ezzo is NOT a medical professional, but I know people who swear by his book. I disagreed with a lot of it. To each his/her own.

- Gingi on June 10th, 2008

I used Babywise with my first child and plan to with my second. I didn’t follow it by the book, but used the ideas from it to create the best plan for my son. It worked wonders, he slept through the night at two months. I also nursed him for more than the first year, and never had any issues with my milk supply. I think it’s important for parents to find what works for them, and this book surely did!

- Lisa on June 10th, 2008

Never read the book…However, when it came to feeding my child, I nursed on demand…when it came to sleeping, I let my kids cry it out a bit when placed in their cribs (when I knew all bases had been covered..clean diaper and just fed)…they were sleeping through the night by 6 wks old…My 3rd child (diff father) did not like the crying out deal so she slept with us…totally different experience…didn’t sleep through the night until 26 months old…Each to their own!

- Nona on June 10th, 2008

I used the babywise book with my son. I loved it. The feeding schedule talks about every two to three hours AFTER the first couple of weeks. They do not advocate starving your baby.they do try and make you aware of what your doing. The book also helped our son start sleeping through the night at 6 weeks! He was healthy and happy and all our friends wanted to know how we did it. I TOTALLY feel comfortable recommending Baby wise.

- jessica on June 10th, 2008

I think the major problem with Babywise is parents following it too strictly, and thus depriving their children.

I will say, I did not use Babywise. I never would. The book that spoke to me, and got my daughter to go from 8-9 hrs of sleep in a 24 hr period to 14 hrs, was The No Cry Sleep Solution for Babies (and then the follow up, for Toddlers/Preschoolers)by Elizabeth Pantley.

In that book, she explains why babies cry, how their bodies work, why they need so much sleep, how their sleep cycles works, and gives you tons of advice and leeway to make a plan that works for each parent-child relationship.

As far as I remember, the babywise book was created by people that had not had children, correct? How would they be able to say their method works if they haven’t have years of experience, ya know?

Elizabeth Pantley has 4 kids, and tested her methods with hundreds of moms-children before putting her book out.

Such a difference in models, ya know?

- Hippyfreek on June 10th, 2008

Yes, different things work for different babies, but Babywise is dangerous. If that type of sleep scheduling is desired, I’d recommend the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer book as an alternative to the potentially harmful Babywise.
http://www.ezzo.info/babywise.htm

- Rachel on June 10th, 2008

I understand parents making choices that are best for their families.

But leaving a baby to cry alone or making a hungry baby wait hours to eat is just plain mean. We wouldn’t treat an elderly person, or even an animal, that way. Why is it okay for a baby?

- joy on June 10th, 2008

I wonder if Candace’s strong conservative christian beliefs have influenced her choice in parenting manuals. The Babywise author is a known evangelical christian and the publishing company offers many other christian books.
Here is an interesting article about Babywise’s conservative-christian ties:

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/08/cov_06feature.html

- kellen on June 10th, 2008

The book I found most helpful was “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Marc Weissbluth. It took me from getting no sleep with my 4 month old nursing baby to her being able to self soothe and sleep through the night by 6 months. What is so great about it is he not only breaks the book into ages and stages, but also into your parenting style. Nursing, formula feeding, co-sleeping, baby being in a bassinet. I strongly recommend this book to any parent, rather it be with a newborn or 3 year old who is refusing to take his naps.

- Cindy on June 10th, 2008

I’m a little horrified that a couple of the posters have “lost all respect for Candace” simply because she didn’t raise her kids to your standards. That’s just beyond judgmental. She did what works for her family, and from what I’ve seen, her kids are happy and healthy. I haven’t read the book, but it seems like a few of the posters here have found some success with it. Just because it doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.

- Sarah on June 10th, 2008

I have 3 children, ages 11-4. Have breastfed all of them.
Loved the BabyWise book. Of course I had to tweak it a bit to fit our lifestyle, our needs etc. We were so militant in the newborn weeks. Schedules are important to babies. They do like knowing routine. They do draw comfort from knowing what will happen next.
BabyWise is merely the suggestion of eat, play and sleep in 3hr intervals. Rather then feeding to sleep(and starting a very hard habit to break) or over-feeding and making things worse. If that freaks you out and Dr Sears is more “your style” thats wonderful too.
I have found in my years there is no one right answer for all children and all parents.

- southernmom on June 10th, 2008

I didn’t use any type of sleep training with my son. We never cried it out and yet at about 12 months, we were able to lay him down in his crib fully awake and he would fall asleep on his own without so much as a fuss. Sleeping through the night is a developmental thing and children will eventually get there. Some just need more time than others.

I practice attachment parenting and love the Dr. Sears books. I also got a great deal of help from The Happiest Baby on the Block. Our son wouldn’t sleep more than 30 minutes without being swaddled. It was a lifesaver.

I agree that the Babywise book is very dangerous. I breastfed my son from birth to 9 months and we always nursed on command. In the beginning he would eat every two hours or less, this continued until he started solids. If I had followed that book, I would have a very unhappy, very thin child and not the vivacious toddler I have now.

- Hannah on June 10th, 2008

Baby Wise was awesome. I highly recommend it too. Who knew it was so controversial? And if it’s not your thing- than that’s OK. Don’t slam Candace for it. If you look at her website, she has 3 beautiful kids. They look pretty happy and healthy to me! http://www.candacecameronbure.net
Different things work for different people. Why would anyone lose respect for Candace based off one book recommendation that you don’t agree with? That’s just silly.
Jodie- read Baby Wise, read Dr. Sears, read a few others and choose which method is right for you.

- Coco on June 10th, 2008

Wow is babywise book really that bad? I never heard of it before today. A schedule is good for an older baby/toddler but newborns need to eat on demand I think.What does this book teach anyway, to let your baby cry it out even when they are hungry? Geez that’s pretty pathetic. I don’t know, can somebody fill me in.

- Jasmine C. on June 10th, 2008

I can’t imagine NOT having a schedule. It’s wonderful. Children want it and desire it. I breast fed my children using BabyWise- so saying you can’t is ridiculous. The very words “DEMAND FEEDING” sounds horrible to me. Any method can be dangerous if you take it too far. I agree in that reading only opinions of books or a review and not reading the WHOLE book for yourself is unfair.

- coco on June 10th, 2008

I don’t know anything about BabyWise, but I am not in favor of any “hardcore” crying it out. I am also not in favor of putting a baby on a schedule. But that’s me.

I recommend Dr. Harvey Karp’s “The Happiest Baby on the Block”. Not so much a book to get your baby to sleep through the night, but more instructional of “comfort measures” that can be used both day and night. Worked like a charm for both my boys.

- Mom2boys on June 10th, 2008

I used Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child for both of my children and it was great, I’ve recommended it to everyone I know simply because it worked so well for us. I know nothing about Baby Wise.

- MCMom on June 10th, 2008

I used Baby Wise with both of my children. HOWEVER, I did allow flexibility. Both of my children did extremely well and were happier once they were on a schedule. When it was time to “extend” between feedings, I would try it out and if it didn’t seem to make baby happy then I pulled back again. Everything in moderation!

- Leslie on June 10th, 2008

I was 18 when i had my daughter and i never read any baby books. i understand that some books are good for some people and i totally respect that. But there is no book in the world that will tell you exactly what’s wrong with your baby. My daughter is 5 1/2 years old now and she is healthier than ever. Being a first time mom is hard but you will get through it all. You just learn more and more as your baby grows.

- angie on June 10th, 2008

That makes me so sad And it makes me lose any respect I might have had for Candace Cameron. She’s like Lisa Whechel Jr….
It kind of gives Christians (or at least evangelical Christians) a bad name you know?
I was hoping she wouldn’t fall into all of the stereotypes, and that she would be in favor of a more gentle style of parenting. I thought she was so awesome when I was kid, it makes me sad. I’m not saying someone is a “bad parent” for using babywise, but I do think it’s a very bad, very dangerous book. and overall, The AAP seems to feel the same.
Does anyone who’s good at this kind of thing want to write an open letter to Jodie Sweetin?
If I new were to send it I would send her a copy of One of Dr. Sear’s books.

- Kat on June 10th, 2008

I haven’t read Babywise so I won’t comment on that. I just think it is funny that people are suggesting that if you don’t use it that your baby doesn’t have a schedule, though. My daughter developed her own schedule and while I believe there is an element of luck involved, she was sleeping 12 hour stretches at 8 weeks. She has developed a pretty predictable napping pattern as well. We do use the eat/play/sleep pattern because that is what she naturally wanted to do and it has worked for us.

- Eve on June 10th, 2008

I’m more a fan of the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Didn’t use every single idea/routine of hers, but enough that made us and our toddler much happier and well rested. Plus it also depends on your child’s temperament – if we’d used Babywise type suggestions with my youngest, well, it wouldn’t have been good as that kid could cry and cry for hours just because he doesn’t have a certain stuffed animal or something.
As for a strict schedule, well, that’s just something that doesn’t work for our family – go with the flow is more our deal (i.e. if a kid sleeps in until 10am, I’m *not* waking them up, and I also bf on demand until my kiddos wean, which at over 2yo I’m sure is longer than most folks in my area do).

- Lanna on June 10th, 2008

My favorite tried and true is the Sleep Lady’s “Good Night, Sleep Tight”. It really worked because it’s gentle. I didn’t have to endure the long crying. My baby slept through the night (from 7pm till 6am) by the third night after initially trying her suggestions. I tried BabyWise as a fist time mom and it didn’t work for me. It had good points here and there but you could tell it wasn’t written by a mom or a woman.

- daniella on June 10th, 2008

I have not read the book but I will say that I did use the CIO method with my DD who is now 4. She would NOT go to sleep without me, for no one, not even DH. We used a modified version of CIO and it worked great for us. She didn’t cry for very long and we always went in to make sure she was OK if she was crying too hard. I know that it isn’t for every family but we all have our children in mind and wouldn’t want to harm them but if we didn’t use CIO I’m sure we would still have her in our bed. She is a great sleeper and I wouldn’t have changed how we did things. DS is a great sleeper and we didn’t have to do anything but put him in bed, just goes to show each family and child is different.

- Beth on June 10th, 2008

My only question here is why did CBB decide to change the name of this topic….. before it only said something about Candace offering her advice to Jodie and now it says She recommends controversial book, etc….. you are now just inviting people to put down Candace for her choice in parenting, and I believe that’s just irresponsible. I’m the mother of two children and had never even heard of this book until now so i obviously haven’t read it but have picked up bits and pieces of it from the comments on here and while its not my style of parenting who am I to say that its wrong….

- Christine on June 10th, 2008

Well…. I’ve read both BabyWise (recommended when I was pregnant with my first) and Dr Sears, the Baby Book. As a parent, I felt VERY horrible not breastfeeding my baby when it seemed like he was hungry, just because it had only been 1 1/2 hours since he had last eaten. Him crying it out in his crib made me want to vomit…. not at all how I wanted to raise my children. So I threw out the BabyWise book and just did what I felt was right. Which meant feeding my baby when he was hungry. Sometimes this was every hour, sometimes every 4 hours. It depended on the day. I’m not hungry at the same exact times every day, and certainly not for the same amount of food. And I can verbally say when I’m hungry. Babies can’t say when they’re hungry, so they cry. So we feed them. They’re stomachs are the size of a golf ball when they’re born. And different babies digest their milk at different rates. There’s no way to know when they’ve had enough or when they’re hungry unless we listen to their cries and respond to them. I believe my son was nursed to sleep every day when he was an infant. I would then put him in his crib. When he quit breastfeeding (on his own when he was over a year), he would quite peacefully fall asleep in bed on his own every night. If he would cry, I woudl go in, talk to him, assure him everything was ok, he would stop crying, I would leave, he’d go to sleep. Never any problems. Why is everyone in such a rush to get babies to sleep through the night so early? Mine did on and off through out the first year. It was no biggie to get up and nurse him. It kept my milk supply going strong, and I didn’t have my period back until he weaned. THAT was nice! I had no problem getting up to feed my baby. He’s my baby, he was hungry, I fed him. I wasn’t exhausted, he got plenty of sleep, plenty to eat, and was a happy healthy baby. And still is! I just had a baby a week ago and am nursing by request, and when he cries, I pick him up and snuggle him. Another great baby! And happy, healthy mommy to boot!

- momtotwo on June 10th, 2008

Since Candace is in the public eye, her endorsement of Baby Wise takes on a significance beyond one mom recommending a sleep/schedule method to another, and suggests an endorsement of Gary Ezzo and his beliefs. This may not be her intention, but it is the way her statement comes across.

Childcare experts, including fellows from the American Academy of Pediatrics, have expressed discomfort with some of Ezzo’s methods. Even Dr. Richard Ferber, whom many parents find too stringent, finds Ezzo extreme. So, even if the Baby Wise method works for some, it is understandable that others have serious qualms about it.

When it comes to infants, the words NON-DEMAND FEEDING sound horrible to me. JMHO.

- sarah on June 10th, 2008

The fact that the books in the ‘-wise series’ recommend hitting children with switches and says that newborns can and do manipulate you..is enough to alarm people, or at least it should.

- M on June 10th, 2008

We were lucky in that our daughter seemed to have been born on a schedule. We still follow it today, although we have altered to fit a toddler. I think that each parent has to make their own decision based on what is best for them and their situations.

- Shan on June 10th, 2008

Some people work better with schedules and rigid parameters for their families. I read that book for about… oh… 4-5 minutes when i was preg w/ #2.. So not for me or our family. It may work for some. I am pregnant w/ #4 right now. Won’t be doing anything so stringent but won’t be letting him/ her ‘snack’ every 20 minutes either…

- jill on June 10th, 2008

I haven’t read the book, nor do I have a baby, but I was reading the reviews on the book and I don’t think anyone should strictly follow a book when it comes to children. No one has all the answers, but out of everyone out there, I trust my mother and grandmothers opinion most since they did, you know, raise me. I came out fine.

Also, I think the book sounds a little out there. I know when they get around 6-months, you can START to try and teach self soothing, but even baby I have known was sleeping through the night long before then.

My little brother still wakes up in the late night – early morning. But its mostly nightmares. He has a seriously over active imagination. But other than that, I’ve had more trouble with my 2 year old cousin than I ever did with him.

Really, its all about the parents sense. If it sounds like your baby is hungry, they probably are.

Just my opinion.

- Cassandra on June 10th, 2008

Babywise is horrible. The No Cry Sleep Solution is much better. Better yet, listen to your baby’s cues and respond to them. You don’t need a book to tell you how to comfort and care for your child. Just listen to your baby and respond the way a mother should, like a caring, compassionate human being.

- Erika on June 10th, 2008

I see some serious bashing of Christianity in some of these comments! You guys are typically so good about keeping these discussions fair. That has absolutely nothing to do with what sleep methods or books worked well for people. I expect better moderation from you guys.

- ScSmiles on June 10th, 2008

The first time I heard of Babywise was when my lactation consultant told my breastfeeding class that a number of babies whose parents followed the Babywise program had been diagnosed with failure to thrive. The book’s author does not have a medical background which I found extremely troubling. Now that my daughter is a year old I think it’s pretty clear that no one philosophy regarding sleep/feeding/discipline is going to work on every child. I got some good guidance from baby books but the more invaluable advice has been from other moms.

- Suzanne on June 10th, 2008

Okay guys Listen up!! I am a mother of now 5year old twins and I loved, used, and highly recommended the book to all new moms..’
I read these blogs and just laugh, you guys act like she has done somthing horrilbe, buy simply offering advice to a old friend. I never knew that that was such a bad thing. I am so thankful I was told about the book.
Having twins is not easy and the book gave me so many useful tools that allowed me to teach my kids how to sleep on there own. And they did at 9wks, There last feeding was 11pm and they woke up by 4:30-5am..Now how many new moms wouldn’t LOVE that. My children are healthy well rounded and sleep everynight at 8pm on their OWN!!! Have been like that from 9wks…Oh and BTW- my babies were smaller the adv. they were around 6lbs a piece and 3 weeks early..Had they been term babies I woulnt have waited so long to start them on babywise..
Truth is, its a HARD book, it takes disipline for the parents to do it..The babies NEED to sleep and they need to learn it on there own, otherwise you will be using whatever method you are using now or have used in the past , weather its sleeping with a bottle, rocking them to sleep, taking the for a drive in teh car, or a walk them in there stroller, or worse yet having to sleep with them till they fall asleep…HMMM what is better teaching a child to sleep on there own and eating at a regular time ( I mean good life lessons) or teaching them to be dependant on somthing that when its taken away they will have to RE-Learn what they all ready could have been taught buy using a simple books method’s to give them a head start on good life habits…
Good for your Candace Cameron Bure…You seem to have it all together, and if I was a new mom I certainly would want to listen to someone who in this crazy world seems to have one great head on her shoulders…

- RACHELH on June 10th, 2008

Babywise is child abuse. The ‘training’ (if you think babies are circus animals….) techniques are not condoned by ANY medical association in the world and they have been deemed dangerous, resulting in ‘failing to thrive’ babies and sabotaged nursing relationships.
I hope Jodie is smart enough to follow her instincts and not an easy-fix solution.
I trust that Cameron has the Babywise bookfor safekeeping, so her children can access it easily when she’s old, decrepit, bedridden and completley dependent on them for all of her basic needs. They will know just how to ignore her cries even when she’s vomiting and pooping on herself ‘to get attention’

- Ilaria on June 10th, 2008

An open letter to Jodie Sweetin because someone recommended her a book that some other people find dangerous? That seems a little harsh to me.

Why do so many people on here think they know everything regarding children and babies just because of what they went through with their child? Every baby is different. Every parent is different. Because you don’t like a book doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. Doesn’t mean other parents shouldn’t use it.

And personally, I don’t care why Candace recommends the book– whether for personal reasons or because of the author. It’s truly none of my business.

- Nicole on June 10th, 2008

I LOVE how people are judging Candace for her parenting skills. If this book worked for her and others why judge them? I don’t get why people seem to enjoy judging others for their parenting skills?
I’m not a parent, but if the Baby Wise book worked for her and others then more power to them.

- Molly on June 10th, 2008

All I am going to say about Babywise is that I found it very militant…not a favorite!

The one that I really enjoyed was Tracy Hogg, The Baby Whisperer. Amazing book and I recommend it to every mother. Like all baby and parenting books, take what you want from it and move on. Many of you have commented on following your baby cues, and I too agree with this since every child is different and it is so important to get to know your child and its likes, and that is what Tracy stresses.

- Krista on June 10th, 2008

we used sears books for years, but when it finally came time to get our daughter into her own bed regularly we needed something with a bit more of a “discipline” to it. The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers really got us through the final bits of independence at bed time. we loved it, not so much because it taught us how to put our daughter to sleep, but because it really helped give us some perspective on how much her wake hours (and how we choose to fill them) affect our kid’s ability to wind down peacefully.

p.s. we had a family bed till our daughter was three and although we still have some rough patches with sleep during stressful times we like to think that we have it resolved.

- nlyp on June 10th, 2008

I have a number of friends who have used Babywise and they LOVED it. We tried it, with some flexibility, and it just didn’t work for us–I wish it had–I was a tired mommy with my firstborn! I think the main guidelines (eat, play, sleep, and try to give full nursings, not “snack” nursings) are fine, and I do like the idea of getting my kids on a (flexible) schedule as soon as I can. However, I would NOT generally recommend the book, unless you are confident enough in your own parenting abilities to be able to glean the good and reject the bad, and still feel comfortable with your own instincts. (That is not a judgment on anyone–I was pretty unsure of myself at first, and imagine a lot of people feel that way.) If you read the background on him, Mr. Ezzo does not have any medical training, and, apparently, he and his wife have had a very strained relationship with their children as they entered the teen and adult year, as well as the churches with whom his parenting ministry was originally based. Also, some people have, with the best intentions, taken the advice given in this book to the extreme, putting their kids in danger. Just use your head and your common sense!

- Michelle on June 10th, 2008

I can’t recommend any book that advocate’s swatting a 6-month old baby if it plays with it’s food in a high chair.

- Janna on June 10th, 2008

I was a working mother when I had my first child. He had a nap schedule at daycare and was fed (pumped breastmilk) on demand. I would nurse him at home on demand. But I would not nurse him to sleep, and I did not rock him to sleep. We kept him on a strict schedule that put him to bed at the same time every night, and woke him up at the same time every morning. He would cry when I put him down sometimes. If the crying persisted for more than 5 minutes, I would check on him. If he was fine (usually lost his pacifier), I would not say anything to him, but would lay him back down.

Now he is 22 months, and I am now a stay at home mom. I still have him on a nap schedule, and our sleeping arrangement is the same (no rocking to sleep) He always sleeps through the night. He may cry when I put him down – and if the crying lasts for more than 5 minutes, I check on him to see if he is ok, I don’t say anything to him, and just lay him back down.

I have never read the book, and I would not bash people just because they tried a method you don’t agree with. You don’t have to believe everything you read in a book. Help books are just opinions – the same thing doesn’t work for everyone. I highly doubt Candace starved her children so they would sleep. People need to take advice with a grain of salt.

- Toddler Momma on June 10th, 2008

Please don’t blame Candace’s recommendation of BabyWise on her Christianity. I agree 100% with her religious beliefs, and yet 100% disagree with her belief in BabyWise. There are many evangelical Christians who have denounced Gary Ezzo, including his former churches. http://nospank.net/ezzo4.htm

Yes, I have read the book, and yet still managed to raise 3 happy and healthy children (including twins) without using a single principle in it. Of course there are parents who use it kindly and gently, but all too many don’t. There are studies done where babies have died because their parents followed BabyWise to the letter.

- Courtney on June 10th, 2008

I believe that sleep is part of ones personality. My son was breastfed for a year and he started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks. He’s 16 months old now and goes to sleep every night at 7pm to 7am. But he’s always been that way. My neighbor, who bottle fed her child who is 6 days younger than my son still does not sleep through the night. So it doesn’t matter how they are fed, they just have different personalities.

As far as setting up a feeding schedule with for your baby, I couldn’t imagine doing that. More power to the moms who can tolerate it. There were times I knew that my son wanted to nurse just for the comfort and I could not see myself denying him that because not enough time elapsed since the last session. What works for some may not work for others. Baby wise is definately not for me or my family.

- Keeana on June 10th, 2008

Babywise was a life saver! I have 2 children – the first slept through the night at 8 weeks, the second at 9 weeks. Both are in the 90th percentiles for height and weight and always have been. It can be a little harsh, but I just amended it to fit with what I was comfortable doing. I just tried to feed my babies every 3 hours (just like NICUs do), keep them up after they eat and put them to sleep awake. By breaking up their day sleep they sleep long stretches at night.

For all of you who demand feed and still get up with your kids at 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, a year or two – my hats off to you! I could never do it!

- Melissa on June 10th, 2008

I don’t see how people can say a book is dangerous. You don’t have to agree with everything. We used Babywise for our 1 year old twins and it worked wonders. They were much happier when they were on a schedule and were getting enough sleep. They are old enough now and have been on a schedule for a long time that they know how our days go and they never have to cry for food or when they are tired because they know when eating and sleeping time is. I however did not breastfeed, and I hear that’s the most controversial part of the book.

- Heather on June 10th, 2008

Marie, your comments bothered me, so please clarify what you mean by “extreme religion”.

Is it that they are willing to state their religious beliefs? Or just that their beliefs are Christian?

The “Extreme” Christians are the ones out there doing crazy things in the name of God. Need I go into detail? Or compare them to extreme Muslims? Or extremists in any other religion.

As for the BabyWise book, some of my friends have stressed themselves out trying to get their baby on a schedule.

- Charity on June 10th, 2008

I haven’t read all the posts, but I’m pretty sure that a lot are bashing the method. I’ve taken what I wanted from the book and used it along with what was already working for my daughter – she was 6wks when I read the book. I nursed my daughter and had a hard time dealing with the pain and stress that comes along with it in the beginning. BabyWise actually helped me continue nursing (till she was 10.5 months) and kept me sane. I don’t think i would’ve continued nursing had I not followed the book. My daughter is now a very healthy 2yo who sleeps well at night and for naps. She’s very loving and doesn’t seem to have any trust issues.

- J Mae B on June 10th, 2008

Let’s face it, some people are going to criticize things and give negative opinions about things that they haven’t even researched and no nothing about simply because it has Christian connections. The persecution is coming, ladies.

- Mtoo on June 10th, 2008

I second the poster ‘rapunzelle’…the book does not need to be followed exactly, I didn’t breastfeed and it still worked for us…the basic point of the book (as rapunzelle posted):

‘The basic advice of the book is to establish a cycle or routine that goes like this: your baby wakes from sleep, you feed him; then there’s awake/play time; then you put them to sleep. You don’t nurse them to sleep and you put them in their crib awake from the beginning.’

Once I learned from that book that it’s not eat then sleep (that awake/play time is in between) it changed our lives! Our daughter was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old & we NEVER had to let her cry more than a couple seconds if at all.

- Lisa on June 10th, 2008

There is no RIGHT way to raise a child
there are multiple successful ways.

My cousins were raised w/ BabyWise methods not word for word, but they’re thriving & healthy boys today. You have to do whats right for your child & because someone else uses a different method does not make them neglectful and bad parents.

- Catherine on June 10th, 2008

There are many different parenting books – but 99.8% of them fall within the range of “normal” parenting advice. They are all within a continuum of acceptable parenting choices – some more in one direction and some more in another. You find the style that works for your baby, and you and you go with it.

The reason the “Babywise” books by Gary Ezzo are controversial is because they fall outside this continuum. They recommend parenting practices that are well outside norms of pediatric advice and accepted psychological understanding of child development.

Please be sure to thoroughly research the background and history of these Babywise books before deciding to adhere to any advice they recommend. Be aware that they are put out by a far-right, dogmatically Christian group with a religious agenda that supercedes any accepted pediatric norms. The original verions of these books were chock full of literalist biblical admonitions for childrearing; the ones you get in the bookstore today contain the same weird advice, only with the Christian references stripped out in order to appeal to a wider audience.

Katie Allison Granju
Knoxville, TN

- katie allison granju on June 10th, 2008

PS: To get a better idea of the person recommeding this style of parenting, I’d suggest you check out Candace Cameron Bure’s Web site ( http://www.candacecameronbure.net/submission.php ), where she writes:

“As a submissive wife, I have a great responsibility and role in my marriage. Yes, I’m the second in command but does that make my role less worthy? No.
Think of it in military terms. You have a commanding officer and a soldier. There is a chain of command. Does that make the soldier’s role less important? Of course it doesn’t. If everyone was a commanding officer, there would be chaos! Same thing in your household. Having two heads of authority doesn’t work by design. Once a conflict arises, you will both stand on your principles until someone compromises, or worse–not, and the other will feel defeated. Most likely it will be your husband who’ll do the compromising because it will be easier to give in than listen to his unhappy wife. This cycle will continue on in your marriage, only to have your husband feel he’s incapable of making good decisions for your family, that you don’t respect him, and ultimately find himself looking for a woman who will. I know that sounds harsh, but why do you think the divorce rate gets higher and higher every year?

I take joy in serving my husband. He does not take advantage of me. I don’t become his slave. I help him because it pleases the Lord, and ultimately, THAT is who I care about most. When I love, honor, respect and help build my husband into the man God wants him to be for our home, he has so much love for me in return. He WANTS my opinion, he trusts me, he takes my advice and asks what I think on just about every subject. This trust has been given because of my attitude when it comes to his decision making. We talk, we share, he knows what’s important to me. He ALWAYS takes that into consideration. I’ll tell you, most of the time, my husband will yield to my direction on the subject because he values it so. But, when he believes a different decision to be right, I allow him to make that final decision and not say anything more about it. I don’t let the disappointment show on my face for the next few days. I don’t whine and complain about not getting my way. And I CERTAINLY don’t rub it in his face if my way would have been the better way! I’m right there by his side to help him make a better decision the next time around. (Trust me… when things like that happen, they’ll listen to you even more next time!)

Ultimately, my husband is responsible for all the decisions made in our home before God. He’ll stand before God to give an account of our family. That’s a weight lifted from my shoulders and yet such a hefty responsibility for my husband. I want to do everything possible to see us succeed together.

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1Cor. 11:3) Do you see the chain of command? Even Christ is subject to one higher than himself–God! Why then, should we feel that we deserve to be equal with everyone else? Are we not subject to Christ as well? Again, this is society’s view that’s got us all confused. I choose to allow my husband to lead because I want to do it God’s way. I gave up “my rights” when I gave my life over to the Lord. “

- katie allison granju on June 10th, 2008

As a relatively conservative Christian who has read Babywise, I have a problem with a man telling women how to mother. The issue with the Ezzos’ parenting books is that they teach parents that their instincts to nurture their children are unreliable, not to mention their exclusivist and gross mischaracterizations of parents who do not practice their method.

The eat/play/sleep cycle for a breastfed baby, as a general rule, is not an appropriate biological cycle. Breastmilk contains tryptophan, which causes sleepiness. Babies are designed to fall asleep at the breast. There is also evidence that nightwaking has a protective effect against SIDS. I’m more than willing to put up with interrupted sleep to protect against SIDS.

This series has inappropriate developmental expectations of babies and children in general. I also find it ridiculous that they assume that just because a family isn’t following their ideas and schedule, that everybody’s miserable. While not on a “schedule” per se, my children and their needs have fallen into a family routine nicely.

As a mother of three, I have children who, as soon as developmentally able, started sleeping securely through the night, in their own beds, with a bedtime routine that takes less than half an hour. My husband, children, and I are all rested, happy, healthy, and secure together, and we managed to do it without the “assistance” of the Ezzos and their method.

- Lindsay on June 10th, 2008

I have never heard of this book. The book I found to be most helpful is ‘Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child’ by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It stresses the importance of sleep in a child’s development and is flexible in terms of your parenting style. It also has a good section on colic and understanding the newborn in general. A great book!

- malynda on June 10th, 2008

The fact that Ezzo was kicked out of his first church, rebuked by his second, and dropped by his publishing company should be your first several warning signs. Even Focus on the Family has distanced itself from him. His parenting advice is shoddy at best. He twists Scripture to fit his needs. I would recommend No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, Dr. Sears’ many books or good ol’ common sense. As others have stated, no two babies are the same and no one book will work for all kids. Do what feels best and right for you and your family.

- Jenifer on June 10th, 2008

I haven’t read this book, but I’m interested in what the author has to say. Just fyi to parents thought, most babies shouldn’t be sleeping through the night the first 6 to 8 weeks because the baby might become dehydrated. Our pediatrician informed us on that.

- C'estmoi on June 10th, 2008

Now I know what book not to get when I become a mother. My aunt’s niece has read a lot of baby books during her pregnancy and had her baby’s schedule all figured out. (Before he was even born.) Well it didn’t work and my aunt had wondered if she threw the books out the window. =)A little off topic. But I’m sure by the time I become a mother there will be a million baby advice books published!

- NicoleMarie on June 10th, 2008

I never read a single book on child care or sleep. The best advice I was ever given is the same advice I give friends and it’s worked for all of them (12). When your kiddo is about 4-5 months old, put them down in their crib (none of us are co-sleeper parents) let them cry for a few minutes, walk back in and don’t touch them or pick them up, just speak sweetly to them and tell them mommy/daddy is right there. Walk out, go back in after 10 minutes, rinse and repeat adding 5 more minutes each time until they finally rack out. It takes quite a few tries but it gets less and less each time.

- Harley on June 10th, 2008

Mother of 3 here and haven’t read that book.
I nursed all my kids on demand and did let my kids fuss it out. But not cry it out.
My youngest had a medical condition last summer and we were unable to let her “fuss it out” much less cry it out. It was a difficult period between her 4th and 10th month. There was a time when she was awake every 45 minutes or so. I got through it with the support of my wonderful husband.

She is now a perfectly healthy 17month old who sleeps through the night (7:30pm – 7:30am)

- Christine on June 10th, 2008

Candace is an AMAZING mother. Her children, from day one, have been loved and cared for in a way that we should all mirror as parents. It is only through this blog that I have become aware that Babywise was written by a Christian. The simple fact is that this book worked for her. It may not have worked for all of you but she was giving advice to a friend as to what she would recommend. Don’t we all do that with people that we care about? Especially for new parents like Jodie- they are seeking the advice of their friends who are parents as to what did and didn’t work for them.

I have not read the book, am not a Christian, and most importantly am not yet a mom, but after seeing what a phenomenal job Candace did when her children were babies, has done raising her children til now, and how well this method worked for her, I can guarantee that I will reading this book, based on her experience. I can also tell you this- EVERY parent that I know, Christian or otherwise, who has either fully used, or employed the guidance of Babywise swears by it. For any of you to have ‘lost respect’ for Candace based on the way that she chose to raise her children is ludicrous. We should all hope to have such amazing, well-rounded and well- behaved children… something obviously has worked from the start… But you all do what is right for you- Candace did and shouldn’t be vilified for it.

- DMI on June 10th, 2008

like all baby books, you have to find your own way with baby wise… it’s advice… you take it, your baby’s personality, and go from there.

It helped my niece (who is only 5yrs younger than my husband and I), so again, it’s all about listening to your child but also getting a routine.

Now, for me, my mil taught me her way and it is identical to what I later read (when it came out, I noticed similarities and thought I’d check it out) in “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer” It’s very specific in listening to baby and giving a gentle no-cry sleep solution, urging you to stand/sit at the crib and soothe your baby to calm them, but then put them down while quiet and awake and repeat until baby sleeps.

I’m more in line with attachment parenting and love Dr. Sears’ books, but needed to have my 2nd and 3rd babies in cribs from the beginning, so my mil and (with my 3rd when I needed something to remind me since we weren’t near my mil and I didn’t want to be calling her every five minutes) the baby whisperer book really helped.

- Kat on June 10th, 2008

I’ve used The Sleepeasy Solution DVD. It’s amazing and worked wonders for getting my 5 month old to sleep through the night. Within 3 nights I had him out of my bed and sleeping through the night without fussing! I don’t know anything about Babywise so I can’t comment, but I know that the way I was doing things wasn’t working so I was thrilled to find a method that allowed my baby and I to get the sleep we needed.

- Kt on June 10th, 2008

Hi,

I just wanted to thank you all for the debate on this topic. I am a nanny and attachment therapist. I believe in love and limits. Both are important:)

However, when it comes to Baby Wise, I must say my skin crawls a bit. I grew up in a very conservative church and home. Children were “sinful” and must be taught how to behave and please God.

Now, I will be the first person to say that I love Jesus, but a lot of my growing up was very punitive. Limits often replaced love. Gary Ezzo is a man who is part of these conservative Christian circles and does influence the way he writes his books. I’m not saying he is a bad person, but I strongly disagree with his philosophy on child rearing!

I ask all of you to listen to your mother’s gut as so you sort out all of this information. Our children are only young for a little while. Sleepless nights and breastfeeding will pass…what 14 year old do you know that is still in diapers asking to be carried around all the time and feeding at your breasts?

I appreciate you reading this post:)

Thanks,

Erica

- erica11 on June 10th, 2008

It’s ONE person’s opinion and ONE person’s experience as a mother.
The book wouldn’t still be in print if it didn’t have a following and people who found that the method worked for them.

To say that you lost respect for the actress, or that the method is ‘cruel’ is just ridiculously judgemental as the method and parenting style is just different from yours… and different kids and different families do things differently.

Most kids turn out JUST FINE regardless of what sleep and feeding schedule they were on as infants.

I suggest that a lot of you start to look at the bigger picture here.

- Gina on June 10th, 2008

How many of us ask our Mothers, our Sisters, our GRANDMOTHERS and our trusted friends for all sorts of advice? ALL of us, some of us on a daily basis. HOW OFTEN do we take ALL of the advice that is given? 50% of the time? 70% of the time? The reason it is advice is because it is a choice, someone is asking their opinion and you are giving it to them. That is simply the situation and it has been twisted into something that it was not intended to be. This book may work for some parents and not for others, just like EVERYTHING in life.

Having met Candace and many of her friends who have used this book as nothing more but guidance during the few years of their child’s life, is simply what they have done. Their children happily go down for a nap, they know when it is nap time, they sleep a set amount of hours each day and do not cry, kick or scream when it is time to lay down. They eat when their bodies tell them they are hungry because of the routine. It makes it easier on the child and easier on the parent. It teaches a lot at such a young age. Their bodies are on a timer and when it goes off, they are ready to calmly lay their heads to rest. Parenting starts before your child is born and for first time parents (like Jodi) you turn to your “family” for suggestions and you pick and choose what you will use in your own personal parenting beliefs.

Religion? Why this is even an issue is beyond me. If you are arguing it being a Christian book, you should truly take a moment and investigate everything you read, watch, eat and do on a daily basis. You will see that things you have made part of your daily ‘routine” may be Christian, Muslim and many other religious backgrounds. Would that make you STOP doing those activities, eating those foods and believing in it, when the outcome is so wonderful? I certainly hope not.

Candace is a wonderful mother and I would gladly turn to her for advice with more than just my children, any day of the week. It is sad that this is getting blown up and we all know the reason it is being viewed so harshly and taken out of context is because of who Candace is and is portrayed by the media… in this crazy world we live in.

Kudos to Candace for sticking to what she believes in and knows what works for her and other Mothers. Remember people, it is advice-take what you want and tuck the rest in your back pockets and be on your way!

- PMK on June 10th, 2008

I have never heard of Baby Wise until I read this post so I can’t give an opinion on that particular book.

I can tell you that my two boys were fed on demand and I tried to adjust their schedules to accomodate my schedule as much as I possibly could. Did it always work? No. Was I always home during feeding and nap time? No. Has it scarred my children? No.

Every parent needs to decide what is right for them. Some insist on a specific schedule and do not veer from the schedule at all. Others fly by the seat of their pants. Whatever works for you is what will work for your children.

I don’t think it’s right to judge a person by what methods they use. Candace obviously had success with this book and the methods and that is great for her. I may not agree with what the book says (like I said…I haven’t read it) but that doesn’t mean that I don’t like her as an actress. If your mom doesn’t like the fabric softner that you use do you lose respect for her? Doubtful.

- Lisa on June 10th, 2008

My sister had used the Babywise style for all four of her children. I practice AP parenting, co-sleeping, nursing on demand, etc. Her kids slept through the night at 6 weeks, and so did mine. Whatever works for you.

- Megan on June 10th, 2008

What worked for us was cosleeping (especially as I was breastfeeding) for about the first year. Then we transitioned to a crib in our room, followed by a toddler bed. The toddler bed went from our room to our son’s own room around 2. Was basically pain and cry free. Bedtime was set at 7:30 pm at around one year and has stayed there ever since.

- karla on June 10th, 2008

I’m a mother of 4, I read the book before my first child, he slept through the night at 5 weeks, 2nd one at 6 wks, then the 3rd one didn’t sleep through the night till she was about 18 months, and # 4 just started last week at 7 months…. each child is different. Don’t bash the book unless you’ve actually read it, there are very good things to glean from it.

- Anna on June 10th, 2008

I think that every Mother has her own opinion and nobody has the right to rip Candy to shreds. None of us knows her or knows exactly what she did with her children. I think that she has the right to her own opinion. I haven’t read the book and my kids are just fine, Candice read the book and her kids are just fine. If you don’t like the book, great, but don’t write off a perfectly nice and normal person just because she did. Also, I like your post DMW, way to stick up for your BFF!

- Lila on June 10th, 2008

jodi, please listen to candace. this book was truly helpful to me! as with any books i’ve read, you pick and choose what works for you and your family. i choose to parent with common sense. i didn’t follow babywise to a T but it is NOT how people are describing it here. i agree, most people who are against this book more than likely have not read it themselves because if they have, they would see it’s value and relevancy.

- motherof2boys on June 10th, 2008

Has anyone noticed that people who recommend Babywise always comment how much easier it made their lives as PARENTS? Hmmm, yes, having children is supposed to be convenient! Of course that message sells. But at what price? Is there any doubt that *something* has gone awry in the lives of so many teenagers? Could it be attachment syndrome?

- Jen on June 10th, 2008

ATTN: Marie

Candice and her brother Kirk are not into “Extreme Religions,” they’re simply into Jesus. They’ve decided to go the road less traveled and trust Jesus. Last time I checked, John 3:16 didn’t describe anything “extreme,” just the only way to get to Heaven.

And while I too am a passionate follower of Jesus Christ, I know nothing about this book.

Tell me something … why does EVERYTHING have to turn into a “oh, it must be because they love Jesus” debate.

It’s a book. Nothing more. Get over it.

- Lisa on June 10th, 2008

I am not a mom nor have I read the book, but from what I can tell [which may be wrong] Baby Wise seems to be how my aunt is raising the two boys she has so far. She would wake them up, change their diaper, feed them, let them play for awhile and then when it was time for them to go to sleep, she rocked them until they were drowsy but not asleep and then put them in the crib while still awake. Neither of the boys [2 1/2 years and 7 months] cries before going to sleep and they are both very happy, healthy boys.

- Katie on June 10th, 2008

Seriously??? I’m sorry, what about the “honey- you do whatever you want, that’s OK. If you want more soda, drink it. Want another ding dong, have it. Need more McDonald’s, let’s go.” How about those parents who indulge their children only to give them diabetes, heart disease, and obesity? Loving and caring for your child means doing what’s right for them- not giving them everything they want. Why is having a child on a schedule a form of abuse? Do you honestly think Candace put earplugs in her ears if her child cried and ignored them? Do you honestly think she starved her children? Putting children on a schedule is not “convenient”. Just the opposite, it takes time, effort, consistency and discipline. You have to have a lot of love to do that. People, get a clue!

- coco on June 10th, 2008

Even Dr. Dobson has claimed that some of Babywise Techniques are borderline abusive and Dr. T. Berry Brazelton also has spoken out about using these techniques. Babies don’t cry and resort to”demand feeding” just be manipulative and get their way. Babies need to feed, thrive and be loved and crying is their ONLY form of communication when they are that young. I’m not saying throw out and burn the book but use it with extreme caution and trust your instincts. Every baby is unique and diffent and they need time to adjust to their surroundings and time schedules.

- Robin on June 11th, 2008

Nurse your baby, bottle feed your baby, hug, cuddle and cherish these times…once they are gone they are gone for good. This man is not a medical professional and his “advice” should be taken with a grain of salt. One of the best things I ever heard as a new mom, years ago, was “give them the best the world will give them the rest.”

These times are so short lived..just scoop them up and rock them or whatever you need to do to soothe them. Life it too short for anything else.

- k on June 11th, 2008

I think that it’s so sad these days that we don’t rely on our motherly instincts when we have a baby but a book. Having a baby doesn’t require discipline and schedules as so many people want you to believe. Babies want to be held and fed by their mothers, period. That’s it, it doesn’t take a book to figure it out. Feed your baby when he/she is hungry, change them when they are wet, and hold them when they need it. What more is there to know???? Cribs are not the end all be all that they also want you to believe. Believe it or not, but babies want to sleep with their parents, much to this country’s dismay. and they want to breastfeed, not drink powdered milk from a bottle. SOrry for the wake-up call people. Celebrities should stick to tv and not be role-models as parents. Money doesn’t make you better equipped to be a parent.

- maria ping on June 11th, 2008

I think its fine to take into consideration what a book says, but in the end it comes down to developing a routine that fits your child. A routine is extremely important for an infant, but this waiting 2 hours to feed Baby by the clock is insane. Its what doctors recommended to parents here in New Zealand in the 50′s and 60′s (before they realised that no, not all babies are the same ‘model’).
If you work out and respond to your babies needs, while esuring some type of routine, you’ll be fine. Lots of first time parents go ‘by the book’ and ignore/don’t trust mothering instincts. Its scary to think what some people might do just because a book told them to. Its using common sense, as well.
However, there are aspects of this book I agree with. I like the whole putting the baby to sleep when its awake thing, so the baby will learn to go to sleep by itself.

- Maddie on June 11th, 2008

While I was pregnant with my first baby my aunt recommended “The Baby Book” by Dr. Sears and I was BOUND & DETERMINED that this was the way I would parent. It sounds all warm and fuzzy…..BUT, let me tell you!! The first 5 months of my daughters life was a MESS trying to follow that book! We tried co-sleeping…..NO ONE SLEPT. We tried going in at her every squeak, allowing her NO time to try to put herself back to sleep! I held her for all her naps. It was a nightmare for EVERYONE. My daughter did not know how to sleep!!

I began searching for another method to try when she was about 5 months old. I found “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” By Dr. Mark Weissbluth. Trying to follow that book (to a T) was just as stressful!!!

SO….guess what I learned?! BOOKS DO NOT TEACH YOU HOW TO PARENT!! I took IDEAS from MANY sources (books, friends, family, my own experiences) and formed my own techniques.

I PERSONALLY found that my children THRIVE on a somewhat flexible routine; they LIKE knowing what comes next, because they have no concept of time. I have PERSONALLY found that many times my children will fall asleep after 5 or so minutes of FUSSING if I just leave them alone. With my 2nd child I let him start trying to put himself to sleep when I knew he was tired for 2-3 minutes when he was a couple weeks old. If he wasn’t able to sooth himself right away, I’d pick him up and get him more drowsy then try again. He started sleeping through the night around 10 weeks.

I made up my own (exageratted of course) motto about parenting books, using the same idea as “The Sunscreen Song”:
DO NOT READ PARENTING BOOKS! THEY WILL ONLY MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY!!!

- Candace on June 11th, 2008

I first read this book *many* years ago now, when I was nannying for a family with a 2 year old and newborn twins. Being a teen at the time, it was kind of weird to be reading a parenting book. The second time I read the book was in my 20s, when I became aware of the controversy surrounding it. Neither of the times I read the book was I struck by the methods being overly harsh – the basic principles – establishing a routine, help the baby learn to self soothe, no snack feeding etc. – seem to be echoed in many parenting books. Then again, I am someone who is quite comfortable reading books and taking the parts that work for me and leaving the rest. Perhaps I was doing some mental editing even as I was reading…

As for the so-called ‘endorsement’ of Ezzo and his parenting methods, all she did was give advice to a friend for what worked for her. The fact that we value her opinion more than someone else’s merely because of her ‘celebrity’ status says more about us as a society than it does about her as a person. Perhaps instead of rushing to silence her perfectly valid opinion, we should be re-examining ourselves and why we are so easily swayed by the opinions of ‘celebrities’

- Rebecca on June 11th, 2008

Hmmm well I’m a mother of two and didn’t use a sleep book with either of them. The first put herself into a schedule and was sleeping 7.00pm till 8.00am from four months old. The second didn’t sleep that long until he was a year old.

It seems to me that the child decides when they’re going to sleep through depending on whether they still actually need that night-time feed. The point is that newborns aren’t actualy meant to sleep through, they need that nighttime feed to help them grow and develop and to bond with their parents.

- Jemma on June 11th, 2008

Thought I should add that I’ve never actually even heard of this Baby Wise book but then I’m in the UK. The book that has caused controversy over here are the Ginha Ford books, which yet again have been written by someone who is not an actual professional in the subject.

I had a friend using the Gina Ford technique and she was surprised to find when visiting that both our 4 month olds were following the same schedule of feeding and sleep times. The difference was that she had dictated the schedule to her baby wheras mine had fallen into that pattern on her own. The difference was that she was stressed out carrying round schedules and marking times and checking the clock and I was calm and just letting my baby lead me.

In the grand scheme of things they’re babies for a very short time and they all WILL sleep through eventually so just relax and go with the flow.

- Jemma on June 11th, 2008

wow, i have to say people seem to taking this book far too seriously! I’m training to be an educational psychologist in England and I cannot stress enough the importance of routine. not militaristic, authoritarian routine, but a simple routine the child can gain comfort from and learn about the world and their place in it from. research has shown that demand feeding etc will cause you problems later on. and im not talking about all you mothers who proudly say “my 3/4/5 year old is happy and healthy”. most problem wont surface until the teenage years. sorry for all of you who think that you know best without considering medical, professional evidence.

- charlotte on June 11th, 2008

I don’t usually leave comments on this, my beloved website, but on this one I will. I don’t know anything about Baby Wise and will not be commenting on that book. But I will encourage moms of babies who do want a sleep schedule and are willing to live on a schedule too… to read Good night Sleep tight. The Sleep Lady. I used it and it was wonderful and worked. I passed it on to sisters and friends and it too worked for them. So there. My advice and my book of choice…

- Kelly on June 11th, 2008

Those of you who state that babies have died from the Ezzo techniques…can you give us a website or article that confirms that claim?

- Angie on June 11th, 2008

Never mind, I found what I was looking for in this article.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/08/cov_06feature.html

- Angie on June 11th, 2008

I LOVE what Candace above said is her homemade motto: “Dont’ read parenting books. They only make you feel guilty!” I couldn’t agree more. I’m not saying I know it all or am too good for these books but most of the time, c’mon they take what’s good old common sense and turn them into a ‘system’. Some people are devoid of parenting instincts and good old common sense, I guess.. which is why many of those books are still on the market. I’ve been a parent for 10.5 years and sit here pregnant w/ #4. I am proud to say I’ve got GREAT well-behaved, secure, loving children without one parenting book or system. Oh, one.. the Bible Pretty basic: HOnor your mother and your father and treat others the way you want to be treated.

- jlh on June 11th, 2008

Since people are discussing the religion point, which is a large part of why BabyWise exists, I’m happy to address the comments.

Charity asked why I said they were extreme in their religion. Kirk Cameron has a website called The Way of the Master, which Candace has publicly endorsed, and it is a guidebook on how to be a fervent disciple of God. I was going to try to sum it up, but you can Google it yourself. It’s a very, very militant style of teaching and belief. Virtually all Christians I know have branded it as extreme. I’m certainly not the first.

PMK, and maybe others, wondered why religion was an issue here. Because Babywise was NOT CREATED TO HELP BABIES. That is an integral part of why it isn’t a good child-rearing book. Ezzo has been very outspoken about the fact that these methods were created to instill discipline and fear into infants so they would be obedient Christians. These were originally church materials to indoctrinate new mothers on how to have Godly children. The books advocate hitting babies and toddlers who misbehave, such as playing with their food. He doesn’t want mothers to pick up their children because he believes infants are manipulating them (much like Satan manipulates people). He isn’t basing his method on any medical knowledge or research– in fact, the majority of it conflicts with pediatric opinion. Ezzo’s goal is NOT adjusted, happy children. His goal is silent, fearful children who will have all their “worldly” qualities beaten out of them. (And, yes, it absolutely works. If you don’t respond to a child’s needs for a period of time, they DO stop reaching out. They will disconnect, and many doctors have seen that with this method.)

Everything has to be weighed with pros and cons. Best case scenario is that your child is fed enough and sleeps through the night earlier, which some posters have experienced. Worst case is that you have an underfed infant who doesn’t relate to the mother in the most vital stage of development. To many of us, worst case isn’t worth it.

- marie on June 11th, 2008

I read the babywise book with my first child many moons ago. While I followed it to a point, I tweaked it a little to suit each of my children. I understood the reasoning behind the book and agreed with many points of it. But like anything else in life, one must take a little from it and mold it around each child. Every child is different. 3 of my children loved routine and I used many things from the book (not all), but my 4th is a very spirited child and needed many different techniques from many different resources.

Bottom line, read something, take it in, use what you can.

- 4times a mom on June 11th, 2008

If Candace Cameron was a poor minority mother in a ghetto the shit she does to her kids would get her kids taken aways, and she would be sent to prison.
Go look at her book.

Her book reads like a road map to raise resentful serial killer children. She believes kids need to be raised with deprivation, retribution and corporal punishment.

She follows Ezzo plus her own crazy slant of “Christian parenting” she is unlike any practicing religious Christian I have met or known, and no one should ever do the stuff she does to her kids.

Just one of her many crazy things she invented to raise kids is her recommendation of regularly putting cayenne pepper on young children’s tongues to teach them to speak respectfully. Crazy stuff that is not Christian!

- d e w i on June 11th, 2008

If Candace Cameron was a poor minority mother in a ghetto the shit she does to her kids would get her kids taken aways, and she would be sent to prison.
Go look at her book.

Her book reads like a road map to raise resentful serial killer children. She believes kids need to be raised with deprivation, retribution and corporal punishment.

She follows Ezzo plus her own crazy slant of “Christian parenting” she is unlike any practicing religious Christian I have met or known, and no one should ever do the stuff she does to her kids.

Just one of her many crazy things she invented to raise kids is her recommendation of regularly putting cayenne pepper on young children’s tongues to teach them to speak respectfully. Crazy stuff that is not Christian!

- d e w i on June 11th, 2008

If Candace Cameron was a poor minority mother in a ghetto the shit she does to her kids would get her kids taken aways, and she would be sent to prison.
Go look at her book.

Her book reads like a road map to raise resentful serial killer children. She believes kids need to be raised with deprivation, retribution and corporal punishment.

She follows Ezzo plus her own crazy slant of “Christian parenting” she is unlike any practicing religious Christian I have met or known, and no one should ever do the stuff she does to her kids.

Just one of her many crazy things she invented to raise kids is her recommendation of regularly putting cayenne pepper on young children’s tongues to teach them to speak respectfully. Crazy stuff that is not Christian!

- d e w i on June 11th, 2008

Candance’s comment:
“it helps your child sleep through the night, and helps you put your baby on a schedule. It’s so important.”

This doesn’t sound like advice- it sounds like someone pushing someone to do something. Pushing one’s views onto someone else.

- Valerie on June 11th, 2008

Read the anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler’s essay why Ezzo is not appropriate for children and that it is not a “Christian” way of parenting or breastfeeding.

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detchristian.htm

- d e w i on June 11th, 2008

Read the anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler’s essay why Ezzo is not appropriate for children and that it is not a “Christian” way of parenting or breastfeeding.

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detchristian.htm

- d e w i on June 11th, 2008

Read the anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler’s essay why Ezzo is not appropriate for children and that it is not a “Christian” way of parenting or breastfeeding.

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detchristian.htm

- d e w i on June 11th, 2008

I am a Christian mother. I have read this book cover to cover – as it was recommended to me with my first child. Leaving my child to cry and not feeding her when she was hungry went against everything in my being as a new mom. I didn’t try to follow the books instructions. It felt inherently wrong to me from the beginning. I have three girls ages 4 and under. All were raised the same, same parents, same house – one was up every hour and a half for the first year to eat. One is up once a night, maybe – at 4 months, the other slep through the night at 10.5 months. Every child is different – some need to eat more often, some don’t. To use ONE blanket schedule for every child is reckless and unkind. Children are not a problem to be fixed and the goal of parenthood is not to create an environment that makes life easier for the parent – if that is what you really want, don’t have children in the first place!

- KayLee on June 11th, 2008

OK I know some of you may stand by this book, but I have watched on of my close friends take it to the extreme and it has caused major damage to her son. He is now 3 years old, still doesn’t sleep thru the night, doesn’t eat properly and has gotten overwhelmed at family gatherings. He constantly screams, and cannot be calmed by anyone. I guess it works for some but after seeing what this poor child went thru I would NEVER use this system on my child!

- Jen on June 11th, 2008

The whole BabyWise series was given to be as a shower gift. We used it with my son and it worked really well. He was sleeping through the night in his own bed at three months.

I think it works great as a guideline.

BTW: I am not Christian.

- ohritz on June 11th, 2008

I read Baby Wise when I was pregnant and the idea of it sounded good. Keeping a baby on a schedule feed at regular times. However, when I had the baby I realized how absurd it was. I read, “The Happiest Baby on the Block” and I recommend it to EVERY mother. The techniques taught are like magic for helping baby to sleep. Run out and get that book and take Baby Wise with a large chunk of salt.

- Jennifer on June 11th, 2008

When I was pregnant my husband’s cousin sent me a long letter telling me about the wonders of babywise (unsolicited). I had already started on an attachment parenting and was irritated about her assumptions that I wanted her advice on this. A friend gave me the Dr. Sears Baby Book for my baby shower and lent me her copy of Elizabeth Pantley’s “No Cry Sleep Solution.”
My advice to Candace, wait until you are asked for your advice on how to parent, not everyone wants it.

- Kristen on June 11th, 2008

I did ACTUALLY read the book after having twins, tried what it suggested, listened to my babies scream for 2 hours, then got them up. They were screwed up for 2 full days from that, and I was a basket case. I’m a firm believer in child-led parenting of infants. I tried the Baby Wise method just to see what it was like and went right back to the way we were doing it before. Their little bodies tell them when they’re hungry or tired, and we just followed their cues. They, luckily, were always on the exact same schedule, but they did that themselves. We never tried to manipulate the schedule they put themselves on. And everyone kept telling me, you need to get them on a schedule, and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong that was making everyone tell me to put them on a schedule. Turns out, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I guess people thought the babies needed to be on a schedule I created for them, instead of letting them fall into their own schedule and routine. I think Baby Wise undermines the confidence of parents ability to parent their own children, and prevents parents from trusting that their babies will tell them what they need, when they need it and that everything will fall into place naturally.

- Julie on June 11th, 2008

I do not believe in sleep training. My MIL bought that book for us because her boyfriends daughter swore by it and used it and MIL thougt it was the best. I do not like it at all. IMHO babies need to be cuddled and tended to especially at a young age. Again this is my opinion. My daughter is sleeping just fine. She is 8 months old.

- Kelly on June 11th, 2008

Girls, Girls, Girls…. Please! This is exactly why not ONE guy has commented on this site. Some of you haven’t even read the book? (Slow the roll ladies) Let’s build a sister up. I have read the book. My kids are now 11 & 9. Well-rounded, kind, loving, respectful kids. They have NO idea that I put them on a schedule. (Although they were sleeping through the night by 6-8 weeks). Parts of the book my husband and I agreed with…. some not. We tweaked it for our family. Candace Cameron Bure from what I can tell has NEVER done anything that would warrant us not building another mother up in love. She is married to the same man for over 10 years, has three healthy children, gives huge amounts of money to charities, has NEVER been in the tabloids from what I have seen for stealing, drugs, affairs. Give the girl a break. Candace & Jodi are friends (NOT our friends) I don’t think her advice to a friend was in anyway harmful. She wasn’t telling any of us to buy the book. We should all mind our own business and instead of spending time responding to blogs. Go take our kids to the park or on a bike ride. Play a board game with them. Teach them how to cook. Love on them for tomorrow is promised to no one. Enjoy what you have. Life is a Vapor. Candace Cameron Bure…. Blessings to you and your family.

- Shelene on June 11th, 2008

I don’t know anything about this book. I don’t really go for the cry it out method, but after 8 months of co sleeping with my daughter, I did let her cry a little bit. I think you do what is best for your child, use your instincts. If I had to choose a book, I would say Dr. Sears. I love his advice and approach to parenting.

- tara on June 11th, 2008

Wow, I had no idea people felt so negatively about Baby Wise. I have used it twice now, and have been pleased with the results. It seems that people are taking this schedule thing too seriously. The book does not recommend to not feed your child when hungry, ever. Matter of fact, it tells you that your baby will be hungry outside of the 2.5 to 3 hour time frame and to feed him/her. The idea is to help them organize it to get them to be hungry every 2.5 to 3 hours. It also has good advice, like feeding your child every 2.5 to 3 hours during the day, especially when you have a sleepy daytime baby, which helps them to sleep during the night. I have heard countless moms let a baby sleep 3, 4,5, even 6 hours during the day without waking to feed them. That’s crazy, and then of course the baby is up all night. If you follow your baby’s needs AND also help them organize their needs, they will sleep thru the night. So, I fail to see the controversy in that.

- Nicole on June 11th, 2008

Something to think about… everyone keeps saying that babies need a routine, that it’s good for them. And that’s fine! A routine and a schedule are two COMPLETELY different things when it comes to babies. Babies find their own routines (and you’ll find that each baby is different), and you can notice that after a while. Maybe during the day baby will eat every 2 hours, nap in between, then at night eat every 4 hours and sleep through the rest of the night. Or maybe the baby will be up every 2 hours all day and night. But regardless, you can set up a “routine” to get baby used to going to bed around a certain time. My son settled himself into quite a nice routine, and if for some reason we weren’t at home at a certain time, he didn’t have a hard time with it. If we were visiting family and not at home at exactly 8pm, it didn’t throw off his whole night of sleeping. He adapted very well to change. Friends of ours that used Babywise, HAD to follow their “schedule”, or things went to heck. Baby HAD to nap at exactly 2pm. If not, he was up for the rest of the day, didn’t sleep at night, and was miserable for the next day.

Schedules may work for some people if they want their babies to be convenient to them. As long as you keep on that schedule, things probably do go as you want them to.

Routines allow for a lot more flexibility. There are some days where I need more to eat or more sleep than other days. If I were on a strict schedule with it, that didn’t allow for deviation, I would be miserable.

I don’t mind my baby waking me up to feed if he’s hungry. He’s a baby! He’s dependent on me to take care of him. He’s not an inconvenience. He’s only a baby for so long and if wants to be held to get to sleep, so be it. It always happens that I nurse him, he falls to sleep, I lay him down and he continues to sleep. Easy!

- momtotwo on June 11th, 2008

My sisier-in-law used this book on her newborn son. I was mortified when I was visiting to see how strict she was with the schedule. She would hold him screaming in her arms with the bootle on the table waiting for the clock to hit the exact minute. Then she would feed him when he was not hungry. I watched him push the bootle out with his tongue and she would force him to finish ever drop. She tried to recommend this book to me when I was pregnant with my third child; but I said “no way”. To me, no book can replace motherly instinct. Babies are not robots.

- Kim on June 11th, 2008

I read “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer” when my son was a newborn and hated it because it made me feel so guilty that he would only nap in my arms, rather than in his crib. I decided to follow my Mum’s advice to follow my own instincts. After all, I’m the mum, and no matter how hard it may seem, I will know what to do. I did the same thing with my daughter, and whilst it was hard at times, I knew that as a second time mum, this newborn phase (which for me is the hardest), would not last forever. So I decided to cherish those 2am nursings, not let her fuss too long in her bed when she “should” be sleeping and cuddle as much as possible. And what do you know, at 10 weeks she started sleeping through the night and put herself on a loose schedule that gets her a lot of sleep, playtime and cuddles. At 5 months, she is a very content baby. But of course, while this worked for me and my children, it may not work for others. Books can be useful to parents, but trust your instincts most of all.

- ORMum on June 11th, 2008

I read and used “No Cry Sleep Solution”; enjoyed the ideals and applied the principles. Sofia’s slept through the night since 8 weeks and was never deprived of food. It leans more towards co-sleeping but not completely and that worked for me.
Ironically, “Baby Wise” was recommended to me by a woman in my church couples class and I read two chapters before putting it down. Not my cup of tea.

- Morgan on June 11th, 2008

I did a Google on Babywise and swatting, and boy did I come up with a lot of stuff. The one thing that validates why one should be cautious to take the advice of Babywise is information from the Canadian Child Care Federation (a bilingual, non-profit, member-based organization established in 1987 with over 21 provincial and territorial affiliate organizations, and 11,500 members – early learning and child care practitioners, academics, parents and policy makers).

“On Becoming Babywise also stresses the importance of leaving infants alone in their cribs so they will experience periods of solitude, and that longer portions of the day should be spent in solitary” playpen time” as baby grows. The author tells parents that “creativity” and “mental focusing” may be “seriously delayed” if your child misses out on structured playpen time. Disciplinary techniques such as “squeezing or swatting” of the infant’s hands are recommended after six months of age, and “pain” and “discomfort” are offered as acceptable disciplinary tools. (Ezzo recommends spanking babies with a flexible instrument after the age of two, but notes that the spanking should inflict pain without leaving visible marks!)” and further “How can babies develop healthy, secure attachment relationships with parents who allow them to cry alone in their cribs for long periods, who do not feed them when they are hungry, who do not hold and comfort them when they are distressed?”

Didn’t Oprah have someone on her show a few months ago that was like a “baby whisperer” who taught the audience how to interpret a baby’s cry whether they were hungry, in pain, or simply bored? I would take that person’s advice any day over someone that advocate swatting or squeezing a 6-month old baby because it wasn’t “following a schedule!”

- DLR on June 11th, 2008

The American Academy of Pediatrics actually launched an investigation against the book Babywise because it was associated with failure to thrive, dehydration, slow growth and development, and decreased milk production in moms.

Not only that, but “After babies reach only 6 months of age, parents are instructed to begin punitive disciplinary measures such as “squeezing or swatting” of the child’s hands or “isolation” in the crib for “rebellious” infractions including “foolishness,” “malicious defiance” or even playing with food on the highchair tray. Ezzo explains to parents that the use of “pain” and “discomfort” can be essential disciplinary tools. After age 2 and a half, children who have a toileting accident are required to clean themselves up.” (taken from the salon.com article)

FROM THE AAP WEBSITE: ‘Babywise’ advice linked to dehydration, failure to thrive
Matthew Aney M.D.

Expectant parents often fear the changes a new baby will bring, especially sleepless nights. What new parent wouldn’t want a how-to book that promises their baby will be sleeping through the night by three to eight weeks?

One such book, On Becoming Babywise, has raised concern among pediatricians because it outlines an infant feeding program that has been associated with failure to thrive (FTT), poor milk supply failure, and involuntary early weaning. A Forsyth Medical Hospital Review Committee, in Winston-Salem N.C., has listed 11 areas in which the program is inadequately supported by conventional medical practice. The Child Abuse Prevention Council of Orange County, Calif., stated its concern after physicians called them with reports of dehydration, slow growth and development, and FTT associated with the program. And on Feb. 8, AAP District IV passed a resolution asking the Academy to investigate “Babywise,” determine the extent of its effects on infant health and alert its members, other organizations and parents of its findings.

The writing is on the wall, people.

- melanie on June 11th, 2008

There is nothing wrong with Babywise, as long as it’s used with some common sense.

Candace looks great but so different these days, I miss the cute nose she used to have.

- Julia on June 11th, 2008

TO JULIA- FYI- CANDACE’S NOSE HASN’T CHANGED! She looks different because she has MATURED past the 10-17 year old girl that you all saw on tv!

- DMI on June 11th, 2008

Any program that involves letting a hungry baby cry because its not “time” to feed him yet, is a terrible program which disregards human development and all medical advice.

- shannon on June 11th, 2008

Babywise is a terrible program and counts as neglect. FYI, I think it’s common knowledge Candace had a nose job, what’s the big deal?

- momtohayden on June 11th, 2008

I did not read a single book…… Babies have been raised for decades without the use of books. Use your maternal instincts! My child is 2…. I had no problem getting him to sleep through the night when he was suppossed to. 1-3 mth olds need to eat more often due to the size of their stomachs and what they eat. It should be common sense that they are going to be fed through the night. When a baby grows so does their stomach and the digestive system matures even more allowing them to eat more and different things…. If your child is fed adequately it will have no problem sleeping through the night. Every child does not eat the same. I DID NOT USE THE CRY IT OUT METHOD! Too cruel for me. I am 32 and if I watch a scary movie I get a little scared sometimes …..so I wonder how a 9mth to 1yr old feels when they are left alone in a room to cry it out. My son is 2 sleeps in his own room in his own bed. Goes to sleep on his own and does not get out of his bed at night to get in ours……. Let me mention that he co-slept his first 8 mths. To each their own…… USE THE INSTINCTS THAT WERE INSTILLED IN WOMEN FOR A REASON……

- N on June 11th, 2008

I read Babywise and did not like it at all…I chose to feed my baby on demand until he was 4 months old and then he naturally fell into his own schedule.

The best sleep books from my experience are Sleep Lady’s Good Night, Sleep Tight and Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child…although I think if read a bunch and then just take what you want from each and then modify it to you and your baby’s needs you will be ahead of the game!

- Smitten on June 11th, 2008

If you want to see pics of Candace and her kids go to her site…just yahoo her full name and it will be first on the list.

- Smitten on June 11th, 2008

I don’t have children, yet, but when I do, i definetely want to create a routine as soon as possible. I believe that helps to mould a happy child and a happy parent.

I wouldn’t let a baby go hungry, but if they are due to feed approx every 3 hours, and they were hungry after half the time on a regular basis, I would be questioning whether they were feeding properly at feeding time, or whether they were really hungry again or just thirsty perhaps.

I also wouldn’t let a baby cry without any comfort for long periods of time, but sometimes I believe control crying can work. You can go too far in terms of comfort and then the baby just expects you to be there holding them until they go to sleep everytime – when they are older. For some kids, control crying works.

I think these books can all be helpful,if used with your own instinct, and I find it highly disturbing that you would lose all respect for someone because they don’t agree with your way to raise children. Candace’s children all look happy and healthy and if that method worked for her, why is that wrong? So it wasn’t for you? Everyone is different. Candace is not a bad person because of that difference.

Use what works for YOU. Please don’t judge other’s because something different works for THEM.

- Heather on June 11th, 2008

Okay, so I have had enough of this. The big deal is that Candace is my best friend and has been for over 17 years. Of all people, aside from her family, I should know- 1st of all Candace has NOT had a nose job, and your ‘common knowledge’ is clearly incorrect. Second of all, when Candace had her first child, she was told to read the book by a good friend of ours who had just had a baby. At that time, she did not have the beliefs that she has now- she did not read the book because it was ‘Christian’ but, rather, because she was a new mom who was seeking the advice of her friends and family who had had children already. As I said before, the book worked for her, and that’s all that really matters. For me, I would take Candace’s parenting skills as my guideline anyday- and I am NOT a Christian- just a woman who wants to raise well- rounded and balanced children as Candace has.

And, if you have any other supposed ‘common knowledge’… don’t assume that everything you read is correct!

~Dilini

- DMI aka Candace's Best Friend! on June 11th, 2008

While I respect the opinions of those who do not have children yet, I also think that it is impossible to say what you will and won’t do when you have your own child. I used to do the same things, “I would NEVER xyz” or “I will DEFINITELY xyz”. Until you are a mother and have your own child, there is no way of telling what you would or wouldn’t do.

And to the notion that you wouldn’t feed your baby in between the scheduled amount of time that Babywise recommends, well, what if your baby is having a growth spurt? They notoriously become ravenous during growth spurts. To not feed a baby simply because it isn’t convenient for you is ludicrous. Also, when babies are sick or fighting off an illness, they need more breast milk as well because it contains powerful disease-fighting ingredients. Therefore, they may want to feed more often than is normal.

And to contradict those who say you can spoil your baby by holding, coddling, or feeding on their schedule instead of yours, that just isn’t true. I breast fed my daughter on demand, let her sleep in our bed when she was an infant, rocked her to sleep as a baby, etc. etc. She is now 3 1/2, has no interest in sleeping in our bed, regularly sleeps 12 hours a night without waking, puts herself to sleep for nap and bedtime, and is a very well-adjusted child. That line of thinking simply isn’t based in fact.

I don’t judge people for choosing the right mode of parenting for them, but I *DO* listen to the AAP and their concerns. And I worry about vulnerable, tired mothers taking advice from a man who advocates hitting, squeezing, or slapping your child for any reason.

- Melanie on June 11th, 2008

I loved Baby Wise. I don’t understand where the problem is. With any “self help” book you take what works for you and ponder the rest. I read “Baby Wise” and combined what I learned with “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” and “Baby Whisperer.” They all have the same general idea of getting the baby on a schedule and were great for giving sleep cues and tips. I wasn’t so strict that I would withold feeding if my daugther was obviously hungry, but we tried to keep her on a consistent schedule of sleep, eat, play. I firmly believe that a consistent schedule is why she’s such a happy, smart, well adjusted child.

- Kelly on June 11th, 2008

Hold on!, what Candace did to you?! I think that she just want to be great helper, is that wrong!!! Maybe she said something what you don’t accept or not agree, that are your problem. Don’t attack her, how many times YOU said something like that, that’s her thinking… so please… hold on with comments…

I like Candace a lot, I’m her big fan and I’m one from her forum, so I hate when someone over reacted on famous-people (and Candace’s) words

- Dina on June 11th, 2008

Go Dilini!

- Lila on June 11th, 2008

Nothing wrong with Babywise, not sure what all the Christian talk is about. Dilini, did Candace have a breast job? I thought it’s quite obvious but thought I’d ask.

- Kira on June 11th, 2008

OH, and I breastfed my daugther for a year. I never had any supply drop. So you can do Baby Wise and breast feed. It’s all about taking what works for you from the book, not harming your child to get them on a schedule…

- kelly on June 11th, 2008

No, it does not tell you to have them cry it out if they are hungry. It teaches you to have them cry it out to learn to self soothe and fall asleep on their own. Once they wake up you feed them then let them play then put them down to sleep again and repeat the cycle. That book never tells you to not feed them when they are hungry, that is just crazy and anyone saying that obviously has not read the book. By creating a good sleeping schedule it gets them on a routine and they know when to eat but you are not starving them in the process. If they are hungry, you feed them, but eventually when the sleeping schedule is established you are not demand feeding, because you don’t have to! I agree, that word sounds scary! Getting my daughter to fall asleep on her own was the best thing ever! I could plan out my day around her schedule that we created. By 6 weeks I could lay her in her crib and she would fall asleep on her own. It was heaven! I had so many sleepless nights having to rock her to sleep and have her fight me the whole time and waking up in the middle of the night for a feeding and again fought me to fall asleep. My daughter “cried it out” for 30 seconds (literally) 2 nights and after that she wouldn’t make a peep. She would just lay in her crib and fall asleep. I know someone who still has to rock her daughter to sleep every night at 2 years old and she will fight her for hours. How is that healthy for them when they need sleep? Do I miss rocking my daughter? Yes, but when it takes hours to get her to sleep and to stay asleep when you lay her down it is 150% worth it! It also teaches you to make sure not to let them snack nurse and to get a full meal. We all know babies will fall asleep shortly after you nurse and when they do that, they will just wake up an hour later because they are hungry again, but if you keep them awake so they get a full belly then you lay them down, they fall asleep and sleep longer because they are full. I too did not follow this book to a T, I read several others and I worked out a plan for me and my daughter. If this book will help other mothers, don’t knock it if it just isn’t for you. Nobody has died from this book. No baby has died from crying and you do not make your baby wait to eat. Schedules are not for some people and that is fine, but for the mothers who need a schedule this book is ideal. My sister is not the type to have her children on a schedule. We are completely different and that is fine. The beginning of the book teaches you the difference between a person who needs a schedule and a person who doesn’t. If you don’t want your baby on a schedule, this is not the book for you. I personally couldn’t imagine not having my child on a schedule. It helps them and you in so many ways then and in the future! I think it is so crazy for so many people to slam this bookso much when they are obviously geting the facts about the book wrong and scaring other people from reading it when it could help them tremendously! Also, what worked best for us was setting a nighttime routine. There were a few times I would get frustrated and say OK you are going to cry it out…and I would put her in her crib and she would freak out and I would break down, but then I decided to start a routine so she knew what was coming next. I gave her a bath, put on her PJs, kissed Daddy goodnight, read her a book, then put her n her crib. That was when she cried for 30 seconds and was out. Did the same thing the next night and she cried again for 30 seconds, then after that, she knew the routine and knew bedtime was next and didn’t make a peep. It actually messed her up if we didn’t follow the routine, like if it was late and we skipped a bath because she started to know when came after what.

- Becky on June 11th, 2008

I surely hope that if Jodie chooses to read this book, she will go with her maternal instincts and file the book away…far, far away. I have had some really interesting and at times, bad advice over all my years of raising my four kids, but in my heart, I knew what I wanted to do and what I felt was best for them and me…so, even if Jodie has been given the recommendation of this book and it’s really “interesting” way of doing things, it will either feel right or make her want to run as fast as she can, away from it.
One more thing….breast-fed babies do not need to be on mommy’s schedule. I am here to tell you that all of my four kids ate and slept when they wanted to as infants and somehow, miraculously, they all go to bed and wake up at normal times now!!!

- Lisa on June 11th, 2008

If you are interested in gathering information about BabyWise and the history of its author Gary Ezzo you can go here -

http://www.ezzo.info or here

http://awareparent.net

both sites are home to many people who have first-hand experience with BabyWise or other Ezzo products and they can answer your questions or share their experiences.

- Carol on June 11th, 2008

wow. It’s none of our business what Candace recommends to a friend. And it’s sure none of our business what kind of work she has had done or not. Yes, she’s in the public eye but that doesn’t give us the right to tear her down!
I agree with Becky and most of the other people sticking up for the book. I’m all for Babywise and I think that all the bad info comes from people who haven’t read the book or people that take it way too far. But even if I didn’t agree it’s not my place to judge her parenting. I wouldn’t have a problem if she recommended attachment parenting.
I understand that this is a hot topic and people feel strongly about it, no mater where they stand on the issue. You don’t agree…fine. But don’t attack her! What happened to the “respectful discussion”?

Thank you Dilini for sticking up for your friend. I’m sorry that you even have to.

- HLA on June 11th, 2008

Babywise has information in it that is dangerous in many ways to both mother and baby. It promises the mother a magical easy way to get your baby to sleep all the while risking babe’s well being. I am all for freedom of the press but this is a book I would like to see banned. (or you can hide copies at the bookstore and buy ones at thrift stores to burn or do paper mache with.)

- Sheryl on June 12th, 2008

It’s none of our business how candace raises her children or what book she recommands. If people don’t like the book, than don’t read it, it’s that simple, no big deal

- brooke on June 12th, 2008

I am a conservative Christian and would never practice the Baby Wise method. I do not feel it is a “Christian method.” There are very prominent Christian leaders who’ve spoken out against the method.

Actually, the only parenting book I’ve read is part of The Happiest Baby on the Block, which I did like and I do feel the techniques can be useful for all infants.

I believe there is a difference between SCHEDULE and ROUTINE. Children need routines, not schedules.

I have two children and I treated them both the same and they are completely different. I fed both on demand. I in no way feel it is appropriate to withold food from a baby. I also have no allowed my children to cry.

My first was still eating once in the middle of the night until 15 months. He was hungry. I wasn’t going to make him try to sleep with a hungry belly. My second…who I fed exactly the same…was sleeping 8 hours by 8 weeks old. Twelve hours not long after. The thing that is similar with both of my children is they are very adaptable. They do not have problems if their routine is disturbed.

I feel each baby is an individual and there is no one size fits all approach to parenting. I think the biggest danger is in thinking there is.

- Tracie on June 12th, 2008

There are a ton of comments here, but I just had to add something:
Human breast milk is low in fat compared to other mammals who feed their babies every few hours during the day. Human breast milk is designed to be eaten continuously throughout the day by the baby.
The fat in breast milk will also be reabsorbed back into the body if it sits in the breast for too long, thus being less nutritious and less satisfying for baby.
Please feed your baby when they are hungry.

- Alison on June 12th, 2008

I feel like I can offer somewhat of a unique perspective on Babywise and the Ezzos. I don’t have children myself, so I’m not just proposing or denying something that worked for me. I read Babywise out of interest because a pediatrician friend of mine said she had recently diagnosed numerous babies with “failure to thrive” and it turns out all but one of them were following the “Babywise” method.

First off, anyone writing a “how to” book should have some experience with the “HOW” in the equation. Gary Ezzo has no experience, or at least had none when he wrote the book. However, I still went into it with an open mind.

I was and remaind well and truly HORRIFIED.

Do you people who have read the books somehow gloss over the fact that Ezzo says your parenting style leans toward “lazy” if you don’t SPANK YOUR 4-6 month old for not “FOCUSING” on meals enough??? I mean come ON, people. This sounds like something Mengele would have come up with!

I could not believe anyone actually felt this way and I attended a lecture given by the Ezzos and sponsored by Focus On The Family. I literally had to sit on my hands when he started talking about making your newborn go hungry, and I DID have to stand up and say something when he began to speak in gentle, “fatherly” tones about ‘switching’ a 4-6 month old who is an “unfocused” eater. I asked him why he expected young babies to focus on things so forcefully when everything was still new to them and they were OWED some time to “not focus” on things. He talked over me instantly and said “what we have here friends is someone who was not DISCIPLINED enough for using Babywise in its intended fashion”. I said that no, I don’t have kids…and Ezzo quipped “lucky for THEM! they’d be overweight and hyperactive!” I said “I’d rather them have a little baby fat and thrive than follow the Ezzo ‘diet’ and be under their birthweight at a month old” and I walked out. I cannot BELIEVE that out of more than four hundred people there, I was the only one to be outraged.

So just to recap- Ezzo thinks your babies will grow up to be “overweight and hyperactive” if you DON’T starve or swtich them. And we are not talking about little hellcat toddlers, here- we’re talking about a sixteen WEEK old infant being “switched” about the legs and bottom for taking too long to eat.

I’m sorry, but no matter what “works” for anyone, I cannot advocate this book, nor any parenting ‘advice’ or strategy from this delieriously self-important, uneducated jacka**.

- Liz on June 12th, 2008

It should also be noted that until his mouthpiece was going to cut the pursestrings, Gary Ezzo consistently extolled the virtues of putting a baby to sleep on its tummy, saying that it helped create a more “passive, agreeable” infant.

My heart hurts when I think of the parents, the possibly large number of parents whose babies fell victims to SIDS. If you look at the earlier editions of “Babywise” from the mid 90s or so, it still has the info about how putting your baby to sleep on its back will only cause “more problems for you”.

Ezzo is ALL about convenience for the parent and NADA about health and wellness for the baby. It ought to be subtitled “Babywise: roll the dice with your baby’s very life!”

- Liz on June 12th, 2008

I don’t really read a lot of parenting books, but I have checked out books by Dr. Sears and these are most similar to what I would look for in a book. We cosleep, though, so most sleep books don’t address that situation anyways.

- Stephanie on June 14th, 2008

Ummm, OMG, WTF is wrong with her? Babywise is a NO NO book!

- Ummmm on June 16th, 2008

Jodie, if you happen to read this, do not do Baby Wise. It goes against your God-given instinct to nurture your child. Dr. Sears has WONDERFUL information that keeps the bond between mama and baby fully intact. Also, if it doesn’t feel right, then don’t do it. If allowing your baby to cry doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t. Neither of my children cried to sleep and they go to bed just fine. I woke up with my youngest many times a night as she needed a lot of nightime parenting. She doesn’t need that now. Be there for your baby. You will not spoil her. You will not harm her by holding her too much or loving on her too much (I’m saying her, ’cause that’s all I’ve got! lol) Enjoy every single second. Even those middle of the night wakings that drive you crazy. No one else gets that time…it’s just you and baby gazing intimately into each others eyes as you care for her, etc. Don’t miss out on that. Please…run…far from any information that schedules your baby or tells you to ignore your instinct. Run fast and far.

- Marcella on June 17th, 2008

While Babywise seems to “work” for some baby/mom dyads, it doesn’t “work” for many babies. The upsetting thing is that sometimes parents don’t realize how much it isn’t working until after their baby is having serious problems.

What is so very concerning is that much of the information in Babywise is presented as fact, when in actuality is contrary to what is known about infant growth, development and breastfeeding. So loving parents can be making decisions for their babies that are based on misinformation–and those misinformed decisions can lead to real harm.

I encourage all parents who are thinking about using Babywise or want to incorporate some of the ideas to read through the Voices of Experience stories. At the least, it will help prepare parents to catch the early signs of Babywise not “working” before serious harm is done.

Voices of Experience:
http://www.ezzo.info/voices.htm

- TulipGirl on June 19th, 2008

I have 3 children ages 8,7, & 2. When my first was born I read BABYWISE because it was recommended to me. I had no idea it was “controversial”. I tried it with my first and it worked perfectly. He was happy and slept great. I thought, “Wow, what a great book!” Then I had my second child. I did the same thing as I did with my first and it didn’t work at all. I continued to try BABYWISE while being sensitive to his needs. In the end he became a happier baby and slept better when I “broke” all the BABYWISE rules. With my third I decided not to “try” anything. He just naturally got himself into the BABYWISE schedule and has been a happy and great little guy. I did do a few things with him that BABYWISE doesn’t recommend. In the end I would say that there are lots of different ideas which is good because every baby/kid is different. Flexibility is a good thing for motherhood. I still recommend BABYWISE to new Moms along with a few other parenting books. I tell them to read a broad range of books and see what works for your baby/kid. BABYWISE was awesome for my first but not the other 2. I am glad that I am flexible!

- Susan on June 23rd, 2008

WHEN METH MEET MESSIAH!!!

- L.B. on December 11th, 2008