Kim Is a great actress. Makes me Think I am glad I had my kids young. They are 21 and 25. Moved have moved out . I am 45 …. Think Ill start my Life Now.

I’m not sure why they’d be asking a woman in her 50s about her plans for children. That is so odd to me. I’d think it was pretty obvious that for whatever reason(s), she opted not tohave children.

As for women having babies at older ages…to each his own. If God allows for the life to happen, who are we to reject it?

Sheba–You are putting a heck of a lot of subtext into what I actually said. At no point did I say that grief for a parent stops at a certain age. My maternal grandfather, at 74, died unexpectedly 4 mos before my dad did and there obviously was grieving. My point was that when a person has a child in their 50s, they (like everyone else in the world) knows that the average human lives into their mid-70s with some living longer. Therefore, they may reason that having a kid isn’t a problem because if the parent reaches average life expectancy, the child will at least be an adult, albeit a young adult, when the parent passes. My point is that having lost my father as a young adult, such reasoning is flawed because it is as hard to lose a parent in your 20s as it is when you’re a child. (My friend lost her mom to cancer when she was in high school and we compared notes, so to speak). It goes beyond grief and missing the person, loss of a parent that young completely devastates your life and shakes up everything you had going for you. I’ve had to give up a lot of the things I’ve wanted to do in my life and career because I feel responsible towards my mom, since my dad’s death wrecked her emotionally and financially. Since my grandfather died at a more typical age, my grandmother has had a less devastating experience. If I get married, my dad won’t be there to walk me down the aisle. All of my married friends in my age range had their dads to walk them down the aisle. You get what I’m saying? But since so few people lose a parent that young, they have no clue what it’s like and assume that if they were to leave their kids at that age, everything would be fine. If a parent is willing to fight to give their children the best they possibly can–best health, best schooling, best home environment–and protect them from as much pain as possible, wouldn’t they also want to guarantee their children the best adulthood, one with very little risk of dealing with the trauma of losing a parent?
Everyone is allowed to make their own decisions in life, obviously, but I said from the get-go that this was my opinion on the matter based on my own experience and if it sounds judgmental, so be it. It wouldn’t be the first time posters have been critical of parenting decisions on this site. LOL

I agree with Stef’s comments. My granddad was 56 when my mom was born (my grandmother was 35, so she was quite a bit younger), but not only do you have to worry about dying earlier in your kids life, but you have to worry about failing health. My grandfather got Alzheimer’s disease when my mom was in her early 20′s and she had to take care of him from her 20′s, until he died when she was 32. He was in such bad health, he couldn’t even walk her down the aisle when she was 26. Yes, he lived until 85, but what kind of life is it, when you don’t know about your surroundings. So while, I know that there are no guarantees in life and that anything can happen, there’s obviously far more risk for death and failing health if you wait so long to have a child, that is why, for women, your body goes into menopause. In the end, it’s obviously everyone’s choice, but I just think there’s a point when you’re too old.

I think Kim is sick of the question and that is why she responded specifically that way. I have read several interviews where she states emphatically–that she is not going to have any kids!!!

Why can’t people disagree and not be labeled “judgemental”?

Grief over losing a parent is not age related and it’s quite self-centered thinking to think your grief is somehow greater than someone losing an older parent. My grandmother, still misses her own mother to this day. She thinks about her all the time. There is probably no way my great-mother would have lived this long into the next century, but that doesn’t stop my grandmother from thinking what if and missing her terribly?

I think “older moms” totally rock!!!! And I have a special appreciation for all the grand parents who stepped into the role of parent for their grandchildren, because they’re own children were too young, addicted, in jail, dead from AIDS, or simply checked out and left their kids and parents hanging.

I just found out a friend of my husband’s is having his first baby at 48 and his wife is 45. They have only been married 3 years (first marriages for both of them) and found true love later in life. I think this is so cool and I say good for them.

(…)for the simple reason that having kids later in life does not lengthen your life expectancy////

Actually that’s not statistically true.
It has been found that women who have children later in life DO live slightly longer lives.
Of course, as with all statistics, it’s an average…
I do agree though, my mother had me at 36 (in the 70s) and my brother is 16 yrs older then me (sisters are 12 and 13 yrs older). my mom is a young mom for them… whereas I remember freaking out as a child, thinking I’d lose my mother much younger.
Nowadays though, lots of kids are born in their parents 30′s. So it won’t seem as scary. 50′s though…

Oh, it’s her life people. Move on.

I agree Keis. It’s none of our business what age people decide to have kids and it’s not for us to tell people they are selfish for wanting to have a stable career and solid relationship before having kids. Not everyone is ready to have kids in their twenties, thirties or even forties. Why can’t we all accept that not everyone has the same life plans that we all do. Also, I would rather people wait until they are older to have kids than have them when they are not prepared mentally to handle one. Also, I think it’s quite possible that there are older moms reading this site so please consider that.