Myleene Klass admits to finding motherhood hard

05/02/2008 at 12:29 PM ET

Myleenehj2908_468x668Myleene Klass recently spoke to the Daily Mail newspaper about how difficult she sometimes finds motherhood. Speaking with refreshing honesty, the pianist and UK host said,

I am tired, tired all the time. Sometimes I feel like crying because I am so tired. People say I make it look easy, but I don’t have any of the answers, I’m still trying to figure things out. Things haven’t worked out the way I thought they would and just when I think I’m getting there, something else comes along. Just when I had got sterilizing bottles down to a T, I had to start making purées. Christ — I can’t even cook for myself! It’s hard — harder than work.

Some nights you have changed the baby, fed the baby and tried to put her to sleep, but she is still crying and you feel like the worst mother in the world. I might look like I’m smiling, but that’s my job.

The 30-year-old also revealed that a few weeks after the arrival of Ava Bailey, who was born last August 16th, her relationship with fiancé Graham Quinn became quite strained.

I genuinely wanted to kill him. I was knackered from looking after the baby and then he would come home and say something worthy of murder like: ‘Jeez, I’m so tired, I haven’t eaten all day.’ I wasn’t in a good place and I even told one of my friends that I was going to leave Gray.

He couldn’t understand why I wasn’t his old Leenie — he thought I should be back in my old clothes, but I could barely get out of my pajamas. Gray is a great dad and he is the same person he always was, but somebody took my body and shook it up and I have changed.

It is hard on a relationship. We will never be back to normal; it’s a new place we have found. I just want him to appreciate what my day is like. I don’t need the sympathy or adulation, I just want some understanding.

When I get home, my day is not over. I need to prepare for the next day, I need to sterilize the bottles and I might even get around to making Gray some dinner. I know it is the same for every working mother — but it seems like nobody really talks about it, what a challenge it can be for a couple.

Despite this, Myleene realizes how lucky she is. Click below for more.

Thankfully everything is fine now, and the pair are currently focusing on 8-month old Ava’s christening.

Iknow I can’t change Gray and I don’t want to change him. Ourrelationship has changed a lot, but now that it has been eight monthsthings are getting better. We love each other and we are a family.

Gray and Ava came with me when I did an M&S shoot inPortugal a few weeks ago and there was nothing nicer than seeing Graytaking his daughter for her first swim.

Despite speaking out about how hard it is, the mum-of-one doesn’t want people to think "I don’t appreciate my life — or that I am moaning," she adds,

Iknow that I am lucky. Sometimes I walk around my new house and I can’tbelieve it’s mine. And when Ava wakes me up in the morning by grabbingmy nose I know I have never been happier.

All I am saying is that while being a mother is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done, it hasn’t been easy.

Source: The Daily Mail

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Jaimi on

I can totally understand what she means. When I had my daughter 3 years ago, it was MUCH harder than I thought. And as a woman, especially a working one, we have so many responsibilities when a baby comes along that you have to find how to juggle it all or you will go crazy. I would often get frustrated with my hubby because his “role” was so much easier and he didn’t acknowledge it enough. But it does get easier as time goes by. Myleene, you are not alone! You just have to find your groove. Good luck!

Sadaf on

Wow, Myleene, hang in there. You’re so not alone in how you feel. After reading all this, I was reminded of how first-time motherhood was just as overwhelming and tiring for me too. And just like her, I’d also blow up at my husband like this.

christina on

I can relate to everything she said minus the trip to Portugal lol. also have 2 kids my youngest is only 10 days younger than Myleene’s baby.

What I really hate is when someone makes light of how hard it’s for me and say something like welcome to motherhood. I too don’t want pity I want someone to listen. Moms need to vent sometimes!

Carolyn on

Oh I am right there with you Myleene. My husband and I are still trying to negotiate splitting the responsibilities for my one year old (as in they aren’t all mine!).

It would be great to have more dialogue about how having a baby effects relationships…cause it’s not easy.

Michelle on

Good for her for being so forthright! Having and raising children is hard, but it is also wonderful! Our first baby (now 3 1/2 years old) was planned and excitedly anticipated, and yet I had such a hard time adjusting to being a parent. I had post-partum depression and also some physical health issues. Fortunately, I’ve found that adjusting to a second (now almost 20 months) was so much easier. I think it’s because I didn’t have the depression, he was a little better sleeper right away, and I had the experience of one already. It was like I knew that since I had made it through some struggles with the first, I could make it through with any subsequent children, even though they might be different struggles.

auroramia on

WOW…as a woman who is 7.5 months pregnant…I think this was a good story to read. I have had a perfect pregnancy in the health way, loosing my job as a result of pregnancy…has had major obstacles to overcome. It’s good to know the realities that lie ahead. Hang in there…one day you will look back and know just how worth it was.

Emily on

Good for her for being honest. It can be nauseating to hear all the time how “perfect” life with a newborn is…maybe if she had three nannies and a trainer like other celebrities she would be saying different, but I really appreciate her HONESTY about what being a new mom is like.
It sounds like she does everything herself, even making homemade baby food…that’s something she should be proud of, and I admire her willingness to speak so openly!
Hang in there Myleene, the first baby is the are learning as you go, feeling like a complete failure sometimes, and you will grow into your mommy hood and grow to have confidence…I definitely found babies 2 and 3 a lot easier than number 1!

CM on

You know the first year of my sons life was great. i had him when i was 19, stayed in school (took two at the college, one online, and one telecourse). I always say how great it is to see first time mothers during there first year. however years 2 and 3 were..not pleasant to say the least. it was such a struggle to do anything having to constantly monitor my child once he started crawling and walking. reading this has made me realize that there are bumps in motherhood that may come at different times for us. For her the first year was rough, maybe she will sail through the next too. through it all though i think we just want an ear to listen. when my son went through his whining phase i would tell my sister how annoying he was and she would get upset at me calling him annoying and im just thinking all i want you to do is listen not judge

lesli on

i love what she said. i LOOOOve to read when a celebrity is completly realistic about the exhaustion, time, and joy it takes to raise a baby. i get irritated occasionally when reading all these actors or actresses say its just os wonderful there is never a bad moment blah blah blah. that isnt true unless their nanny takes over when it gets hard 🙂 kids are amazing and bring joy like nothing else can but like i told my cousin the other day having kids is also the most exhausting and relentless job too. And they dont give back as much as we must give. before i get ripped aprt by that comment i mean in the conventional sense of a mutual give and take type relationship that a person is used to having before they become a parent.
and having a child has a big impact on a relationship, for both parents, and its nice to see someone address and remind us we arent alone.

martina on

Oh my god, I can totally relate. Today I felt like killing my husband for not cleaning his bathroom. I am serious. I am 4 months and my back is killing me – but not even showing yet and not “hormonal.” So he has no concept that he needs to help more. I can only imagine what it’s going to be like when the baby is born. And he is a fairly responsible & helpful man. It’s just tough for guys to understand any of this.

babyboopie on

Oh yes, I can totally relate to her! I was only 19 when I had my son and when I was pregnant with him, I thought ‘Yeah I can do this..’ and my ex-boyfriend was with me throughout the pregnancy and the birth.
But after I had my son, I found it extremely difficult to adjust to the fact I had this whole new person relying on me and the fact that I was living in France, having only just learnt the language made it a million times harder. It put a terrible strain on my relationship with Pierre’s dad- it was partly why he left us 2 years ago. I was at a very low point in my life, being a first time, single mother but then I thought to myself, ‘Come on, Mia, you can do it, Pierre needs you,’ and then I shook myself and got my act together and now I’m really loving my new life with my son, he has changed me completely. He has made me a better person, although I’m much more emotional and maternal than I was.

Vanessa on

This was exactly how I felt when I had my baby 2 years ago! Having a baby really put a strain on a relationship. Good for her for being so honest!

Petra on

Maybe she started to work again too early and too much. She hurried back to work as soon as possible and didn’t realize, how demanding a newborn baby is. No wonder she is tired and nervous.

Gina on

This is such a real woman! You can tell she’s in there 100% like most of us (Without hired help). To be able to read this and not read all the glitter & glamour behind celebrity moms only reaffirms that we’re all the same and face the same challenges…very real!
Thanks Myleene
PS It will get better with time and some rest

mrs.donato on

I think it’s very refreshing when a celebrity can be honest about their pregnancy and what your world is like after you give birth. A lot of stars make it unrealistic by portraying the event as heavenly…when sometimes it isn’t.

It is a lot of hard work-mentally, physically, emotionally, and can sometimes put a strain on a relationship.

Thank you for the article!

Nicka on

Good for Myleene! Its so refreshing to hear this honesty from any mother, let alone a celebrity who is under the public eye.

I’m 5 months pregnant right now, and considering that pregnancy has been a lot harder than I expected already, I can only imagine the challenges I will face. I think sharing our struggles and stories makes us better women and better mothers! Kudos to Myleene and I hope it gets easier for her (and me!).

Elyse on

Wow, I loved what she had to say. I don’t have any kids, but I have always been leary of comments about how “easy” new motherhood is. I frankly would rather know the truth, that it can be really hard at times. I feel better prepared for when I do have kids when I hear comments like this, and not a pretty picture seen through rose colored glasses. I commend Myleene for speaking out about the realities.

sinclair on

“Today I felt like killing my husband for not cleaning his bathroom. I am serious. I am 4 months and my back is killing me – but not even showing yet and not “hormonal.” So he has no concept that he needs to help more”

Martina, maybe you could just let him wallow in his own filth????

As disgusting as it sounds, it will work, and eventually, he will get the hint. And it sounds like you have separate bathrooms?

Women have changed with the times–some men have not. (*Or the women–WHY DO WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO BECOME THE ONLY ONES DOING DOMESTIC WORK WHEN BOTH PARTNERS ARE HOLDING DOWN JOBS? MEN ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF CLEANING–if we let them. If they refuse, and think you are the maid, kindly inform them of their misinformation.) Also, our society TALKS a lot about changing gender roles, but we don’t do much about it sometimes. I don’t know. I just feel that parents are still letting male children slip by without being self-sufficient. I’m in college and guys have this notion that they’re still going to find a strong independent woman–and after all that, they’ll mention how they want her to be a good cook. I always say to the guys, Why don’t YOU learn how to be a good cook on your own and go from there? (*This is not meant to generalize, of course).

“I genuinely wanted to kill him. I was knackered from looking after the baby and then he would come home and say something worthy of murder like: ‘Jeez, I’m so tired, I haven’t eaten all day.'”

Solution to this, Mylene: let him take care of Ava ALL DAY. He’ll never make that comment again! I know he didn’t mean it in a bad way, it’s from lack of perspective. He’s not thinking of the feedings, diaper changes, crying, etc., that you deal with all day.

Deborah on

What I really appreciated about this article was her honesty regarding how much stress a new baby brings to a relationship–even a planned-for baby changes your life so much, it definitely takes a while to adjust.
As a society, we expect too much of ourselves, I think. We (men and women, all of us), are so fueled up with the “superwoman/superman” idea…have a baby, rush back to work, relationship is all sunshine and roses despite the stress and changes, everything gets done, nobody is unhappy because a baby is a JOYOUS time, etc. etc.
Women are still embarrassed to admit having post-partum depression. Men aren’t even allowed to have similar feelings about THEIR lives changing.
We need to stop pressuring people by telling them that they SHOULD be happy and not to “complain”.
The best things in life are a heck of a lot of work.

ekaterina on

sooooo nice to read this especially today! it is hard when people think you are doing so well and you feekl like a fraud because you are struggling =(

articles like this help sooo much! thanks mylene!

mary on

I would never think that she is complaining or a complainer. I think those that say life is great, easy never been better are in never never land. I have friends that have said that and I look at them and think either they are lying, or they have a lot of help or the worst is yet to come. While reading what Myleene has said I feel like I could just give her a great big hug and tell her I have been there and it will get better. And unfortunately those times will come again (only different) when they hit their teens. Some how we as mothers just pick ourselves up and we do what we have too. And we have to laugh at our mistakes. Its how we learn.

Amillia Henderson on

Finally there is an actress who does not have to “act like a perfect mother” because she is a “real mother”. Myleene Klass thanks for being so open and honest about motherhood and co-parenting.

Laura on

I have always had a lot of respect for Myleene, but even more so, given that incredibly frank interview. How refreshing to hear someone in the public view is not only taking a hands-on approach to raising their child but that they can also be very honest about the hard work it entails.

eve on

that was the most candid and refreshing article I have ever read. I do not know who this celebrity is. But my god I am a huge fan of hers now. good karma to her.