Jennifer Garner not sure when she may have another child

04/30/2008 at 09:28 AM ET


Since having daughter Violet Anne two years ago, actress Jennifer Garner has heard the question "When are you going to have another child?" numerous times.  And that was no different last week.  The question was again posted to her while taking a break from filming This Side of Truth.  The 36-year-old replied,

Sometime. I don’t know. I have to think about that one.

Another question that Jennifer was asked, but she doesn’t mind, is "How is Violet?" To which the happy mom replied,

She’s good.

Jennifer and husband, actor Ben Affleck, have been married since 2005.

Source: People; Photo by INF.

Thanks to CBB reader Kate.

How do you react when people ask you when you’re going to have another child?

FILED UNDER: News , Parenting

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Showing 38 comments

Karen on

Jen is a great Mother – and an amazing person. Can’t wait for her and Ben to welcome a new member to their family!!

jo.ann on

I would love to see Ben and Jen give Violet a sibling. Imagine another little Violet running around…perfect!

Erin A on

my reply for the last 7 months has been “hopefully soon” but it sure isn’t soon enough!

jools on

Although it might seem like a harmless question (in the past, I have thought so as well), I have learned that asking people things like “when are you going to have another?” might be opening a huge can of worms for that person. I know a few people that have experienced unexplained fertility issues, or suffered multiple miscarriages after having no problem with their first children. I’m not saying that she is, but for example, Jen Garner might very well be trying her hardest to have another, and it’s just not happening. It might be a very painful subject for her under the surface. You just don’t ever know what people are going through…so please be careful!

Megan on

Seriously I bet Jen gets so tired of answering that question that when they do indeed have another, we’ll find out on the baby’s 1st birthday…haha I mean like anyone else i cannot wait for Violet to be a big sister but man alive it’s gotta get tiring for her to continue to answer that question again and again and again…

Heather on

Since I had an emergency hysterectomy following the birth of my son, my comment is always, “I lack the proper equipment to have another one!”. That quiets them really fast!

melanie on

Someone I barely knew asked me that at a Christmas Eve party, while I was having my first miscarriage. I was so taken aback that I just blurted out something vague. It’s a seemingly innocuous question but it can really sting. And quite honestly, it’s a very personal question.

Bess on

Even though this question never really bothered me, I would never ever ask another woman/couple this question. Like Jools said, you never know what is going on with a couple and it’s really nobody’s business but theirs.

For the record, my answer to the question was usually ‘when we have a few spare minutes to make another one… feel like babysitting tonight?’

Courtney on

Seems like such an innocent question but its so not. I have had 4 miscarriages, people do not realize how much it can hurt when you really want another one and your body doesnt. I also have 4 children ages 1-7 and I get comments about that all the time too. I had my tubes tied after my emergency c section with my last so I know we are done. But, when people ask now I say “well since we have 4 we will have more when YOU start paying for them!”

sil on

I’ve never had problems with people asking me when i will have my second child, until i had a miscarriage a few weeks ago….now i don’t want anybody to ask me, because is so difficult for me to think in another pregnancy, although i do want to have another child as soon as possible, unfortunately we don’t know what will happen, so next time somebody asks i will answer “someday” and if i get pregnant i will not tell anybody for the first months, because this time was so hard to answer “i’m not pregnant anymore” to all the people that knew i was….

L on

Ah, yes. The “question”. I had my first two children without any problem and 7 years later, after trying every month I miscarried. In the same week I was asked didn’t I want to add a little girl to the mix. I muttered a vague response and remember feeling empty and frusturated. This is a question that should not be freely asked to others.
Now, I have a 6 month old and people have stopped asking me. Maybe it’s the big age difference? 14 years and 11 years and the baby is 6 months. LOL! Now, people have asked me WHY such a big age difference and I say that the baby took 8 years to get here and we are now complete.

Asiram on

When asked such a personal or any other nosy, none-of-your-business question, I turn it around back on the person and politely ask, “Why do you want to know?”

This usually stops them in their tracks as they realize it really is none of their business, and if it is someone close or who can explain clearly why they want to know, then it can lead to a good conversation.

Shan on

I hate this question. After my miscarriage, every person I saw seemed to ask that question. It hurt. My usual answer is “Eventually.”

Bobbi on

I answer “I only have babies for other people now”. We are done after two, and I had twins as a surrogate. I’m getting ready to do it again for another couple, so people just stare at me and don’t know what to say 🙂

Lauren on

I get this question a lot since my daughter is getting older, but I usually explain to people that we are not in a place where we could have another. Money is tight, and we live with my father and lord knows that he would be less than happy if I brought in another child!

Aitch on

I think it is a very RUDE question and Nobody’s business.

Roise on

I don’t blame Jennifer for being evasive with her answer, I think it is an inappropriate question, and I’m a journalist!

To me, asking someone when they are going to have a baby is basically the polite way of asking how active is your sex life.

Amanda on

I don’t know I usually notice that people ask other people who are such great parents that another child would be lucky to join them. So maybe it’s a compliment towards Jen 😉
I don’t ask it, I know how tough it can be, I haven’t had any fertility issues but my husband and I are at odds about it so it stings for me since if he was on board I would probably be pregnant by now. My first two are less than 2 years apart and as time goes on I get more upset that our 3rd will have such a large age gap in comparison

Nicole on

I feel this is SO personal! My family is Italian and Eastern European and they expect numerous amounts of children. I was barely married and they asked when we were going to have children, then when my oldest was 3mos. old, when is the next one….I have two girls 18 mos. apart and in the HOSPITAL my aunt asked are you going to have a third? I was so surprised… I hadn’t adjusted to life with two much less to expect another….now that my kids are 2 1/2 and 4, the question has started up again at EVERY family function…my response is,”when I get drunk enough to be that crazy” I usually get a nervous laugh because they don’t know if I am serious or joking (I am joking btw) It is a very personal question and it’s amazing how people have NO tact at times!

coco on

i think this is such an intrusive and rude question. i absolutely hate for people to ask me this question. my youngest is 5 and people ask me when i am having another all the time. they have no idea if i want another baby or if i can even have another baby. i could be trying and may be having trouble getting pregnant again. i never ask people this question and i dont expect others to ask me.

mama2.0 on

I just have to say that I love Jennifer Garner. I want to be her when I grown up. heehee!

babyboopie on

i’m a young mum, i have a beautiful 4yr old son Pierre and I love him to bits, and yes, I would love to have another child but only when I’m much older and in a more stable position to care for my 2nd child. Having said that, I do feel guilty for my son because he does get a bit lonely as it’s just him and me but I know one day, we’ll have a new addition!

Angela on

My response is always – “About nine months after I get pregnant!”

Leslie on

I usually say, when this one is at least potty trained (she’s just a few months over 2).

Chris X on

I htink Jen Garner gets asked because she has said they want another at some time, and since Casey adn his wife have had another one, Matt Damon and his wife are expecting, Brad and Angelina are expecting, it is like Ben adn Jen have to have another one too. But I agree, it is a wicked rude thing to ask, particularly in view of the fact that there may be fertility problems or miscarriages that no one knows about. Also, I have a friend who keeps getting asked when she is going to have another one and right now she is trying to decided whether she even wants to stay married!

Kim on

I’m currently pregnant so I say “this baby is due in June and that’s it for us.” Hopefully people will stop asking once this baby is born since I’ve made it clear that our family will be complete.

Jennifer on

I have no problem when people ask me that question. I have two girls and people probably assume we would like a boy and are just curious. I don’t mind it and I always say “Hopefully within the next year”. I’m happy to talk about it and it’s just human curiosity to know how other people feel about parenthood and whether they’d like to do it again or how many years they would like their children to be spaced. You can relate it to someone asking you when you’re pregnant, “do you know what you’re having?” or “Do you have any names picked out?”. It isn’t really they’re business but they’re just curious-they don’t mean any harm.

Ericka on

she’s seems very short in her responses…irriated much?

I don’t think it’s rude to ask someone you know on a personal level but its rude to ask people you don’t know that well. My friend got married last year and I keep asking her “when were gonna have a baby” lol. I’d never ask someone I dont know.

Danielle, Celebrity Baby Blog Publisher on

People started asking me as soon as I got married when we were going to have a baby, while I was pregnant, around when Anya was 6 months old, again when she was a year, and continuously since then. It seems to be the consensus among many people who ask us this question that your family is not complete without at least two children, although I don’t get why people would ask someone with 2-3 kids if they’re having more! Seems that 2 is a handful- more power to them- but I would never -expect- someone to plan on having more than that, let alone ask. I’m always surprised when someone with twins has more kids- it just seems like an insane amount of work (my friend has twin toddlers and is constantly frazzled) and we struggle with just one! But again, more power to them.

Then we have our Ciaran who has four!

I have to say, I AM interested whether my friends will have more kids (most of them are on their second) so I guess I understand the interest, but I would never ask outright. I might say “don’t you hate it when people keep asking when you’re having another?” and then we start talking about it.

brannon on

It’s especially awkward as a single parent — and yes, you still get asked! And yes, people even question the logistics. My only hope is humor – but it’s really hard sometimes!

brooke on

I think it’s a bit of a personal question. I would only bring it up, if the person themselves makes a comment about wanting another child or something in reference to that, and it’s usually a close friend or family member. Danielle I agree with your entire post by the way. A few months ago my friend who is 37, had her 3rd child, she already had a 6 yr old girl, a 5yr old boy, and now had another boy in Feb. I heard two people in the hospital while she could barely move from having a c-section, say so is this it or will you be having more kids lol. And she said well this is my 3rd child in 6yrs and I’m 37, I think at one point you have to stop having kids and this is my time lol.

Candace on

The way I answer the “when you gonna pop another one out question” totally depends on who is asking. If it’s someone I’m really close I will tell them straight up what the “plan” is, but if some stranger were to ask me I’d probably just answer “I don’t know.” This is EXTREMELY personal and I don’t EVER ask anyone this, just because I have known SO many couples who have had a hard time conceiving and I don’t want to accidently ask someone in this situation. None of my business, period.

lulusass on

I am a 35 a single/sole parent of a beautiful 3 and a half year old, very happy and very proud! This wasn’t the way i planned it but now i wouldn’t have it any other way but….. I would love another child/children but having another on my own would pose great difficulty financially and emotionally despite having a wonderful family support system. It would be nice to meet the right man this time!!! Now as for the question ‘when are you going to have another’ it actually provides great pain when i get asked this. There are days when i ache for another but being a single parent people expect you to be grateful for what you have which for me means i generally get caught up in a defence mode eg: ‘i really am grateful for having my little man but if and when it happens it will be a blessing’ i also get tired of people asking, even though it is quite innocent, sometimes i just say ‘oh yeah, eventually’ without explaining my situation, it is a painful question, if i ever ask anyone i usually just say ‘would you like to have any more?’ because everyone has a different story.

gargoylegurl on

It’s funny that in a world that has become so PC, this question has yet to find it’s way on to the “unacceptable” list.

There can be so many reasons why a couple may not add to their family: secondary infertility, financial, relationship, etc. I think it’s downright rude to ask.

My friend has been struggling with infertility for years (she’s currently expecting her first child via IVF), she’s mentioned how painful it has been to constantly be asked why they had not started a family…

Melissa 7/7/78 on

I’ve had people ask me and then go on to say “You shouldn’t have them too far apart.” As if THAT is their business. I have one child (son) and would love to have another one immediately but we are waiting.

It’s a little annoying at times.

maddie on

I agree, I believe it is a personal and somewhat rude question to ask.

Also, as previous posters had noted, no one knows your situation – infertility, miscarriage, and esp previous experiences. I know two couples, not one, but two couples who have had their sons born very prematurely at 6 months and weighing at 1 lb. Their sons are now healthy happy boys, but they also have had difficult early months in the hospital for three months and numerous surgeries. Yet, they too get asked “when are you having #2?”

Both sets of parents have told me how difficult it was the first time emotionally and physically that thought of another is really difficult. So my advice is to always be respectful of other people’s decisions and their situations and not to assume.

Dana on

The only time that it ever bothers me is when my mother-in-law asks. She asks every time I see her. I give the same response every time, about wanting to wait. But I HATE being asked by her.

I would never dream of asking anyone this question. I have seen my sister deal with years of infertility issues. She finally has a beautiful baby girl, and desperately wants more. This may never happen. She has accepted the fact, but when people ask when is she going to have more, it hurts very much. She is usually asked this by people who know her and know her situation. I cannot fathom how people she knows (especially her mother-in-law) can ask such questions.

Bancie1031 on

I didn’t used to mind this question …….
Last year a neighbor moved in and the first time I met her we were outside walking our dogs and we got to talking when my daughter (she was 6 1/2) walked up and she (my neighbor-Barbie) stated that she had two boys and wanted a little girl. So I asked her so when r u going to try for ur little girl? She said “I can’t have anymore kids I had to have a emergency hysterectomy after my second son” I felt sooooo bad! Then in return she asked me Is she ur only one and when I replied yes she then asked me when r u going to have more kids. I explained to her that I seemed to be having some fertility issues because I had been trying for 4 1/2 years to get pregnant without any luck but hopefully one day real soon! Then she felt bad, so we just stood there feeling bad for one another so I agree with Jools………..
Today she’s my best friend and we talk about everything but now I’m more careful about who and when and IF I ask someone if their going to have more kids ….. oh and BTW no luck yet ….. I have been trying for almost 6 years and no luck ….. but I do have a healthy daughter who’s almost 8. Also Bobbi if u wanna come to Georgia and be a surrogate for us come on LOL ……
I now tell ppl when they ask (and they do all the time) when god sees fit to give me another one……. and they ALWAYS get real quiet after that.