I agree that midwives are much preferred to obgyn’s – mine was amazing; I wasn’t restricted at all and, while the hospital room is not the most inviting place, it’s really not that big of a deal. I was glad that the nurses, on-call obgyn and machines were all there.

and yeah, I totally had an epidermal because the pain was so incredible (and I have a very high pain threshold). it didn’t hurt my baby, she was able to nurse just fine afterward and the only regret I have is the traumatic birth – pushing on her for 2 1/2 hours was pretty traumatic for her and I wish I had done the c-section as soon as the midwife realized there was an issue with delivery.

I’m all for women’s empowerment and natural methods, but I’ll tell you what…when it comes to my babies, I am not taking anything to chance.

I am truly glad her birth experience worked for her. I have been through it 4 times, on my own terms, in the hospital and I have to be honest that I would probably also feel that hospitals aren’t cool if not for my 3rd birth. After delivering my son naturally, I found out he was really, really sick. Had I been at home, he might have died. There is always the “what if”.

We need to empower ourselves and demand what is our right- to have our babies as we see fit. We also need to recognize that part of the awesomeness of being a woman is knowing that we are free to make different choices in life and it is okay. I have a feeling that Ani will get that as her baby girl ages… at least by her puberty for sure.

Still love Ani… but I think that for once in my life I have surpassed her understanding of something. Wow.

Th last two of my four children have been born at home. One was a quick peaceful waterbirth. The other was a long grueling painful birth. It would have been a cesarean anywhere else. It’s only been a couple months and I’m still processing it all. But, I completely identify with what Ani said, “The memory
of pain always recedes. The memory of triumph does not.”

“Colleen,I doubt Ani meant for the statements to sound anti-male. I didn’t even see anti-male statements.”

You’re joking, right? Please tell me you’re kidding. This act of acting like nobody but yourself has any valid points is seriously stale.

“I would definitely choose a homebirth again despite the fear mongering of this patriarchal society, which convinces women that they are incapable of having babies without the intervention of men and their machines.”-Ani DiFranco

Does that make it easier for you to understand?

i think it’s sad how judgemental some women are of other’s experiences.
that’s where i really think we’re eons behind.
when women can value each other and their position as “good” mothers regardless of choices or experiences whether they be IVF or epidural or c-section, then we’ll know we’ve come far.
but i don’t think we need men to oppress us when so many of the women who judge our experiences are happy to do so.

Colleen,I doubt Ani meant for the statements to sound anti-male. I didn’t even see anti-male statements.Maybe instead of judging her, we can put ourselves in her shoes instead. We all probably say something that would be offensive to other people everyday but we don’t realize it. I thin Ani thought she was saying something to motivate other women who want to do home birthing.

Wouldn’t a real feminist embrace another womans right to choose? As if women who choose medicated, hospital births are like cows, or Stepford Wives? I am a well read person, and researched my options initially not wanting an epidural for fear of becoming paralyzed or separared from the whole birthing process. An unmedicated birth certainly isnt for everyone, esp a homebirth. Thats great Ani was able to manage and endure the pain, but it certainly does not make her a saint. I find it sad when women who have had natural births put other women down for wanting meds. Thats not what this is about. Its about those women feeling they lack power and needing someone or something to blame. I loved my nurses and had an empowering experience w/epidural. I was treated w/respect and was able to enjoy the moment when my daughter was born not feeling guilty because I decided to have meds. I am more concerned about how mothers choose to parent than what kind of birth they choose. Thats what matters. I am also sick and tired of supposed “liberated” women such as Ani make such hateful anti-male comments. Thank you to all the wonderful FEMALE (no male nurses tended to me) nurses @ Rose Med Ctr in Denver who encouraged me and treated me like a goddess in the “hospital”.

Ani sounds like a lot of new mothers I know, they have a baby naturally or a home birth (which is something to be proud of) but they then think they automaticaly think they know everything about childbirth and motherhood. I think in time, Ani may grow some perspective on the situation and realize that a homebirth isn’t for everyone and that the situation is differnt for every mother and every pregnancy.